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Parenting for Humans: How to Parent the Child You Have, As the Person You Are
"You will learn why you parent the way you do, how to grow into your own parenting role, and ultimately, how to parent the unique child you have." ―Dr. Becky Kennedy, clinical psychologist, #1 New York Times bestselling author of Good Inside This is not a parenting book (it's a book for parents), exploring what we bring to the parenting journey and how we can gain confidence in ourselves not just as parents, but as whole human beings. There's always that moment as a parent when you feel like no matter how hard you're trying, you just can't get it "right." But the fact is, parenting is hard and once we know this and why, we can forgive ourselves for finding it a struggle, and start to look for the things that make parenting a joy. As well as learning to parent ourselves, it will show us how to parent the child we actually have, not a textbook version, but our complicated, messy child with their own powerful needs. And by tuning into their language, learning how to hold them, not mold them, we can really start enjoying them for the funny and unique human beings that they are. With the right support and guidance, we can all totally do this parenting thing and grow a positive and loving relationship that will last forever.
304 pages, Paperback
Published October 17, 2023
42 people are currently reading
1849 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 10 of 10 reviews
January 21, 2024
Unsure. Loved it at first, but really lost interest as it went on. Possibly therapy is not for me?!
May 9, 2025
This isn't a How To Advice book for parents, this is a guide for healing and doing your own psychological work as a parent. It's warm, uses nice easy to understand metaphors, and very accessible. I'll be putting this in my parents group lending library for sure.
December 20, 2023
I received a free copy of this book through Goodreads Giveaways. Thank you!
Svanberg's book feels to me like an attempt to turn therapy sessions into a book. Whether this will work for you or not will depend on what you're looking for. This is not a parenting advice book. Svanberg will not tell you what to do with certain situations you encounter with your child. Instead, you will be trying to better know yourself through your past experiences and your relationships to the people around you (spouse, parents, etc.) so that you can understand the ways you respond to your child and show up for them in a way that feels authentic to you. This is not a quick-fix book and Svanberg advocates trying to make incremental changes in your life as you form better connections to your emotions and thoughts. Finally, she includes some chapters about how to relate to your child and their emotions/thoughts. I thought the tools for your parent-child relationship chapter was one of the stronger ones (and one of the most practical ones) in the book. This book is going to give to you what you give to it. It will reward reading slowly and thinking about the questions Svanberg poses in each chapter. This is a nice antidote to typical parenting advice books. I've noticed other books similar to this one published in recent years and I think this is another good one to add to the conversation!
Svanberg's book feels to me like an attempt to turn therapy sessions into a book. Whether this will work for you or not will depend on what you're looking for. This is not a parenting advice book. Svanberg will not tell you what to do with certain situations you encounter with your child. Instead, you will be trying to better know yourself through your past experiences and your relationships to the people around you (spouse, parents, etc.) so that you can understand the ways you respond to your child and show up for them in a way that feels authentic to you. This is not a quick-fix book and Svanberg advocates trying to make incremental changes in your life as you form better connections to your emotions and thoughts. Finally, she includes some chapters about how to relate to your child and their emotions/thoughts. I thought the tools for your parent-child relationship chapter was one of the stronger ones (and one of the most practical ones) in the book. This book is going to give to you what you give to it. It will reward reading slowly and thinking about the questions Svanberg poses in each chapter. This is a nice antidote to typical parenting advice books. I've noticed other books similar to this one published in recent years and I think this is another good one to add to the conversation!
September 13, 2024
A book about being a parent rather than about parenting methods. I found this really useful, particularly because it made me challenge my beliefs and expectations about being a parent. This is a great book if you feel like you’re failing as parent, as it challenges ideas about perfection, and it also makes you think a bit more about your family dynamic and how that impacts how things work for you.
It is definitely a bit ‘therapy’ in places, but that didn’t take away from the book as a whole. I follow Emma Svanberg on Instagram too, and this book works well with the way she works on there.
It is definitely a bit ‘therapy’ in places, but that didn’t take away from the book as a whole. I follow Emma Svanberg on Instagram too, and this book works well with the way she works on there.
April 28, 2025
قرأته باللغة العربية. كتاب غير مفيد. يطرح أسئلة كثيرة وكثيرة
June 16, 2023
I am not sure it is fair to call this book a ‘parenting book’ because whilst it will definitely help you to understand why you parent the way you do, ultimately it will support you in understanding the ‘you’ part of being a parent, rather than telling you what you should or should not be doing.
Emma gently guides you through each chapter, holding your hand as your embark on a journey of self discovery and reflection (which feels more curious than uncomfortable) because the one thing that can and really does get lost in the swamp of life and parenting is ‘you’.
My partner and I read and listened to the book and it sparked many discussions that helped us to better understand and appreciate why we might see and feel things differently as parents, why we might parent in different ways and what we would like to let go off and try to change. Both of us commented that the book really made us feel seen as parents and receive a really important validation that it is not just us, who at times finds the complex feelings and emotions of being a parent difficult.
As someone who has had lots of talk therapy and dipped into a lot of books in order to help me understand myself better, both the ‘me’ part and the ‘parent’ part, this book is genuinely like nothing I’ve read before. (in the best way!)
I could gush a lot but just take my final words, that if you are a human and a parent or a human who is considering becoming a parent then this book is for you.
A gift of a book and 100% recommend!
Emma gently guides you through each chapter, holding your hand as your embark on a journey of self discovery and reflection (which feels more curious than uncomfortable) because the one thing that can and really does get lost in the swamp of life and parenting is ‘you’.
My partner and I read and listened to the book and it sparked many discussions that helped us to better understand and appreciate why we might see and feel things differently as parents, why we might parent in different ways and what we would like to let go off and try to change. Both of us commented that the book really made us feel seen as parents and receive a really important validation that it is not just us, who at times finds the complex feelings and emotions of being a parent difficult.
As someone who has had lots of talk therapy and dipped into a lot of books in order to help me understand myself better, both the ‘me’ part and the ‘parent’ part, this book is genuinely like nothing I’ve read before. (in the best way!)
I could gush a lot but just take my final words, that if you are a human and a parent or a human who is considering becoming a parent then this book is for you.
A gift of a book and 100% recommend!
July 9, 2023
This is a gift of a book written with such generosity and kindness. It’s not like any other book for parents I’ve read. It’s compassionate but also clear and challenging in all the right ways. Emma takes you on a journey of exploration, and it really feels as though she’s guiding you all the way. Emma’s wealth of experience shines through and she explains complex ideas in an accessible way. The real gift of this book is how it doesn’t add more pressure to being a parent, it really meets you where you are as a parent and helps you unpick your own story in a way that respects you and your child’s individuality.
It’s a book to take your time with and I really hope it finds the wide audience it deserves, parents, kids and all humans will be better off for it.
It’s a book to take your time with and I really hope it finds the wide audience it deserves, parents, kids and all humans will be better off for it.
December 7, 2023
A meticulously planned and scripted book about being a parent. Some good stuff, and I really appreciated the thoughtful approach to parenting in its most general sense (so many parenting books take a really lazy stance on parenting = mothering, with a token sentence every now and then for non-woman parents). I wasn't a huge fan of the hyper-conversational therapy style ("how does reading that make you feel"), and the book is chockablock full of forced metaphors and someaht clunky analogies. But once you get over the writing style (or find it doesn't bother you) I think there is heaps of worthwhile questions to mull over.
January 28, 2024
A fantastic book, one that ALL parents should read. It’s not like a classic parenting book which, let’s be frank, often leaves you feeling a bit defeated and doesn’t allow for the nuance of your family history or focus on YOU. This does.
July 26, 2023
This is by far the best book on parenting I've ever come across. Highly recommend!
Displaying 1 - 10 of 10 reviews