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432 pages, Hardcover
First published July 12, 2011

"There was something vaguely
glorious about having a purpose again."
I had thought there’d be nothing left of me, once you took away the pounding bass of NARKOTIKA and the screams of a few hundred thousand fans and a calendar black with tour dates. But here it was, months later, and it turned out that there was fresh skin underneath the scab I’d picked off.
I’d planned out a few experiments that didn’t require a lab — just luck, my body, and some balls.
“Cole,” I said, “do you think I’m lovable?”
“Maybe,” he said. “But you won’t let anybody try.”

Sam about himself:
There was something in my expression that I didn’t recognize, something at once helpless and failing; whoever this Sam was, I didn’t know him.

