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The Truth Is . . .: My Life in Love and Music
Since she first burst onto the international music scene, Melissa Etheridge has released seven albums that have sold more than 25 million copies worldwide, garnering not only public adoration for her uncompromising honesty but numerous critical awards, including two Grammys and the prestigious ASCAP Songwriter of the Year award. The Truth Is . . . is a highly charged autobiography—a bold and unflinching account of an extraordinary life that Melissa describes as only she from her Kansas roots, through her early love of music, to her brilliant rise to superstardom in a male-dominated rock world. Melissa openly discusses the massive impact of her publicly coming out, a revelation that only increased her popularity, making her a highly visible spokesperson for the gay and lesbian community. The Truth Is . . . shares Melissa Etheridge’s fascinating story with unprecedented candor and insight.
237 pages, Paperback
First published June 19, 2001
51 people are currently reading
815 people want to read
About the author
Melissa Etheridge
54 books60 followersMelissa Lou Etheridge is an Academy Award-winning and two-time Grammy Award-winning American rock singer-songwriter and musician.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 85 reviews
January 22, 2015
I do not write songs to keep for myself. I give the songs away. And they become whatever the people listening want them to be. Just because the song came from a certain place - maybe anger, maybe passion, whatever - once I let it go, it takes on a life of its own. That's the beauty of creating music. It is something different to everyone.
Slightly late review. I discovered Melissa Etheridge only a few weeks ago (although I had seen her divine 1994 duet with the incomparable kd lang, singing 'You Can Sleep While I Drive' a few months earlier) and since then she (and her marvellous music) has dominated my life. This autobiography is now 14 years old, but still very potent and intense, just like its author. She's one of the most charismatic performers I've ever seen. Not to mention truthful. This latter element plays a large part in this book: she talks about growing up in Leavenworth, Kansas, her difficult relationship with her mother, the shocking abuse she suffered at the hands of her older sister, discovering that her vocation lies in music and songwriting, and, aged 17, beginning to fully understand her sexuality.
Further chapters lead us through her years of playing gigs in lesbian bars in the early 80s, her complex (and often non-monogamous) relationships with women, and her later critical and chart success, winning two Grammys, as well as meeting Julie Cypher, who would become her longtime partner, in the process (though at the time this biography was written the two had split for good; one gets the impression that it was probably for the best). I very much enjoyed this book. Etheridge's personality, not to mention her honesty, shines through. I still have hopes for a second volume, though there is at least her upcoming twelfth album, This is M.E., to look forward to. Rock on, Melissa!
December 16, 2020
This might be the best, most honest celebrity memoir I’ve read … and, it is far more than just that. It is also an insightful, truthful look at ambition and success and romantic relationship, i.e. intense desire; homosexuality, creativity, fame, families, work and home, childbirth, art, in other words – the human condition. It covers a lot of material with few words and many pictures. The introduction is so spot on, beginning with a diary entry when Melissa was fourteen, in 1975, Leavenworth, Kansas: “To Myself: Who are you? Where are you? Why do you hide so?” And the intro concludes: “You see, I believe people have their own points of view. This is simply mine.” It just so happens I believe and agree with much of what she does, eg. Past-life regression, causes of cancer (very interestingly, ME subsequently got and survived breast cancer); approach/avoidant patterns, time (the date) of birth affecting personality, personality being present at birth, that childhood traumas and family influence adult behaviors – things like that.
Etheridge’s method is simple and straight-forward. She begins at the beginning (wink) and tells you what happened, what she was thinking at the time it happened, and what she now thinks about what she thought then. And of course there are the songs she wrote about what happened, when it happened, which were sometimes cloaked in a sort of coded language – misunderstood, confused sometimes, by herself as well as listeners. But what remained constant was her passion and drive. And there are a lot of pictures to augment the story, too.
When she hit the radio waves in the late 80’s, I just loved her music. I had no idea she was a lesbian, the thought never crossed my mind. The words and music were just so filled with passion and desire, love and loss – I totally got it. And it ROCKED!
She came out publicly in 1993, at President Clinton’s inauguration.
And then this, in 1998, Mathew Shepard, was brutally murdered in Wyoming, beaten and left to die roped to a fence post, because he was gay. It was a very big deal here, in Colorado, and especially for me as I was working in the Social Work Field. Etheridge’s recounting of her reaction to that is the most poignant writing in the book. It moved me to tears. Of course she wrote a song, SCARECROW. I dare you to read it and not weep. This event is recalled in the chapter titled MOTHERING, when Melissa’s partner was giving birth to their first child. At the time, that relationship was coming apart; and Etheridge had been asked to write a song for the US women’s soccer team, on their way to a World Cup championship and … ME wrote the song BREAKDOWN, about emotional collapse.
By now, if your reading this now (July 3, 2015); you must be getting eerie feelings of New Age woo-wooism. I am, did. The Shepard murder is not unlike the recent murders in Charleston. Same motivation (a hate filled rage that targets innocents) and the victims’ survivors reacted similarly, too, with forgiveness. And, ME’s explanation as to how and why is right in line with my own. I thought I was reading my own thoughts about what happened, then and now. And (of course) the US women’s soccer team is headed into the World Cup Championship game Sunday. And then, how did I come to be reading this book now, 14 years after it came out, you ask? Well, I’ve been going through all my stuff, downsizing, and happened upon ME’s music that I had recorded on cassette tapes, back in the 90’s … and then I remembered I had this book on a shelf in my garage and thought – I’ll give it a read before I give it away. And (of course) the SCOTUS just made gay marriage legal in all fifty states. Are you freaked out yet? I’m not going to give the book away now, you’ll have to find your own copy. And give the music a listen, too. Five stars.
Summer 2015
Etheridge’s method is simple and straight-forward. She begins at the beginning (wink) and tells you what happened, what she was thinking at the time it happened, and what she now thinks about what she thought then. And of course there are the songs she wrote about what happened, when it happened, which were sometimes cloaked in a sort of coded language – misunderstood, confused sometimes, by herself as well as listeners. But what remained constant was her passion and drive. And there are a lot of pictures to augment the story, too.
When she hit the radio waves in the late 80’s, I just loved her music. I had no idea she was a lesbian, the thought never crossed my mind. The words and music were just so filled with passion and desire, love and loss – I totally got it. And it ROCKED!
She came out publicly in 1993, at President Clinton’s inauguration.
And then this, in 1998, Mathew Shepard, was brutally murdered in Wyoming, beaten and left to die roped to a fence post, because he was gay. It was a very big deal here, in Colorado, and especially for me as I was working in the Social Work Field. Etheridge’s recounting of her reaction to that is the most poignant writing in the book. It moved me to tears. Of course she wrote a song, SCARECROW. I dare you to read it and not weep. This event is recalled in the chapter titled MOTHERING, when Melissa’s partner was giving birth to their first child. At the time, that relationship was coming apart; and Etheridge had been asked to write a song for the US women’s soccer team, on their way to a World Cup championship and … ME wrote the song BREAKDOWN, about emotional collapse.
By now, if your reading this now (July 3, 2015); you must be getting eerie feelings of New Age woo-wooism. I am, did. The Shepard murder is not unlike the recent murders in Charleston. Same motivation (a hate filled rage that targets innocents) and the victims’ survivors reacted similarly, too, with forgiveness. And, ME’s explanation as to how and why is right in line with my own. I thought I was reading my own thoughts about what happened, then and now. And (of course) the US women’s soccer team is headed into the World Cup Championship game Sunday. And then, how did I come to be reading this book now, 14 years after it came out, you ask? Well, I’ve been going through all my stuff, downsizing, and happened upon ME’s music that I had recorded on cassette tapes, back in the 90’s … and then I remembered I had this book on a shelf in my garage and thought – I’ll give it a read before I give it away. And (of course) the SCOTUS just made gay marriage legal in all fifty states. Are you freaked out yet? I’m not going to give the book away now, you’ll have to find your own copy. And give the music a listen, too. Five stars.
Summer 2015
April 5, 2011
I love Melissa Etheridge and saw this at my library and had been meaning to check it out for a while now. It wasn't a very long book so it only took me a few hours to get through. She talks about how she grew up, with an emotionally distant mother, her older sister who molested her, and her father who was the only one who supported her musical aspirations. She grew up in Kansas and talks about trying to get a music career going there, and also her issues with being gay. She left Kansas and drove out to L.A. where she became involved in a lot of relationships with women who were emotionally unavailable. It seems that when she wanted to commit, they did not, and she slept around with a lot. She seemed to leave one relationship and head right into another one. Eventually at one of her gigs in a bar she met her to be partner, Julie, whom at the time was married. Julie left her husband for Melissa and they had a tumultous ten year plus relationship, which ended with two children by IVF by the now infamous Crosby! She talks a lot about her life and her loves and more importantly, her music and how it all came to be. It was a very good read, I enjoyed it very much.
January 3, 2017
It's natural to be curious about celebrities, and singer-songwriter Melissa Etheridge has done a nice job of satisfying that curiosity with her memoir The Truth Is. . .: My Life in Love and Music. Etheridge helps us understand her family background, her childhood issues with her sister, her growing-up relationship to her mother and father, her emergence into lesbian adulthood, her ten-year relationship with Julie Cypher, parenthood of two children with Julie, their break-up, and Melissa's growing maturity and independence. Sprinkled in with her narrative are lyrics to some of her songs, as she shares with the reader how and why the words were written as they were. And also included are some nice still shots of her at different phases of her life and career. It's not an exhaustive, detailed account, but we get the picture. And it's well told and interesting. I feel as if I know Melissa Etheridge a lot better now than I did when I started reading, and I will enjoy her music more knowing something of the artist who created the songs.
October 15, 2014
This was another book I picked up unexpectedly. Even more unexpectedly I could hardly put it down. Not that this is the best written autobiography ever but ME recalls her story in a very down-to-earth and engaging way - without really holding back on challenging memories.
What was also most interesting was that ME provides a lot of context to her music and many background stories to songs.
An excellent read.
Review first posted on BookLikes: http://brokentune.booklikes.com/post/...
What was also most interesting was that ME provides a lot of context to her music and many background stories to songs.
An excellent read.
Review first posted on BookLikes: http://brokentune.booklikes.com/post/...
September 1, 2021
This was good but more about her personal relationships than the music biz.
March 28, 2015
I read this book while working on a project about how regular people become heroes. This book offers an inside look at how Etheridge uses songs to both reflect and construct her own life.
The book reads like an extended US Weekly article ... the writing is worse than Stephanie Meyer, and I didn't know that was possible. Etheridge regularly displays self-contradictory impulses and lack of self-awareness, as well as an inability to construct a rhetorically aware text. But (lack of) artistic quality aside, the book is fascinating for the glimpse it gives into the challenges faced by a woman who has spent her entire life trying to overcome childhood sexual abuse. She is a frail soul, but one who loves passionately and deeply, and who is making recovery her business.
The book reads like an extended US Weekly article ... the writing is worse than Stephanie Meyer, and I didn't know that was possible. Etheridge regularly displays self-contradictory impulses and lack of self-awareness, as well as an inability to construct a rhetorically aware text. But (lack of) artistic quality aside, the book is fascinating for the glimpse it gives into the challenges faced by a woman who has spent her entire life trying to overcome childhood sexual abuse. She is a frail soul, but one who loves passionately and deeply, and who is making recovery her business.
October 4, 2012
An easy and enjoyable read. Yeah, it's a little fluffy and preachy optimistic at times...but god I needed that after Jude the Obscure!
I would have liked a 'discography' (is that what a list of albums in chronological order by release date is called?) at the end - but that's a minor issue. It's amazing how I have gone from being 'meh' about Melissa Etheridge before seeing her live in concert to a fully fledged fan after seeing her live. She ROCKED the house!!
It's kind of funny, because so much has happened in her public life since completing this book - she almost needs a 'part 2'. I mean...the public battle with breast cancer, the public break up with Tammy, etc.
I would have liked a 'discography' (is that what a list of albums in chronological order by release date is called?) at the end - but that's a minor issue. It's amazing how I have gone from being 'meh' about Melissa Etheridge before seeing her live in concert to a fully fledged fan after seeing her live. She ROCKED the house!!
It's kind of funny, because so much has happened in her public life since completing this book - she almost needs a 'part 2'. I mean...the public battle with breast cancer, the public break up with Tammy, etc.
July 3, 2016
I loved this book. I've spent my entire life with Melissa's music as a soundtrack and hearing the stories behind the songs only made me love them more. I wish she would write another book talking about her life since this book ended, her battle with cancer and her relationship and breakup with Tammy, etc. I would definitely recommend this to any M.E. fans out there.
November 13, 2023
Because I already read, "Talking to My Angels," Melissa's first book seems premature. She couldn't have known what was to come in her life, but one decade seems a quick time to write a life story. Still, I love Melissa and enjoyed the honesty and insights into each of the albums.
September 10, 2019
This book was more of a therapy session and the story of Etheridge coming out and living as a lesbian. It has virtually no memorable stories.
November 11, 2024
3.5 Stars, which I will round up to 4 stars overall.
I have never been a Melissa Etheridge fan. I think I know one of her songs "Come to my Window" (who doesn't?!) and that is it. It had nothing to do with her, I didn't ever know much about her other than being a musician and gay rights activist, I just never connected with her music in any way. I picked up this book on clearance on Book Outlet Canada after noticing that she was releasing a new memoir. I assumed the new book was a continuation of this one when I saw it so, I thought I better pick this up so I could decide if I wanted to read the second book.
I can't say that I loved this. Don't get me wrong, it was an okay read. Melissa gets into a lot of her personal life here, perhaps more than most would in their memoir. You get her early start, the abuse she suffered at the hands of her sister, her family life, and her entry into the music world. You also get a lot about her life as a lesbian, and her relationships, mostly about Julie, the mother of her two eldest children. Overall, if you had any personal questions about Melissa, I think you will get them in this book. You do get some music stuff too but I really felt like the music and her life in that area was second to her personal life. Not a bad thing per say but, not for me I think. I read a lot of memoirs and I am looking for the PERSON along with what they do. I tend to not like books that focus only on the reasons why that person is a celebrity. Here I found the opposite, I didn't want this book to focus just on Melissa's personal life, I wanted to know more about the music.
Like I said, 3.5 stars, which I will round up to 4 stars. 4 Stars because I think any Melissa fan's will like this big glimpse into her personal life. I feel like you really get to know Melissa, to the extent that she allows you here. But, if you are missing the musical side, I find that part lacking, which I why I said 3.5 stars.
I have never been a Melissa Etheridge fan. I think I know one of her songs "Come to my Window" (who doesn't?!) and that is it. It had nothing to do with her, I didn't ever know much about her other than being a musician and gay rights activist, I just never connected with her music in any way. I picked up this book on clearance on Book Outlet Canada after noticing that she was releasing a new memoir. I assumed the new book was a continuation of this one when I saw it so, I thought I better pick this up so I could decide if I wanted to read the second book.
I can't say that I loved this. Don't get me wrong, it was an okay read. Melissa gets into a lot of her personal life here, perhaps more than most would in their memoir. You get her early start, the abuse she suffered at the hands of her sister, her family life, and her entry into the music world. You also get a lot about her life as a lesbian, and her relationships, mostly about Julie, the mother of her two eldest children. Overall, if you had any personal questions about Melissa, I think you will get them in this book. You do get some music stuff too but I really felt like the music and her life in that area was second to her personal life. Not a bad thing per say but, not for me I think. I read a lot of memoirs and I am looking for the PERSON along with what they do. I tend to not like books that focus only on the reasons why that person is a celebrity. Here I found the opposite, I didn't want this book to focus just on Melissa's personal life, I wanted to know more about the music.
Like I said, 3.5 stars, which I will round up to 4 stars. 4 Stars because I think any Melissa fan's will like this big glimpse into her personal life. I feel like you really get to know Melissa, to the extent that she allows you here. But, if you are missing the musical side, I find that part lacking, which I why I said 3.5 stars.
June 16, 2024
So I read this for a popsugar 2024 challenge, 44 - an autobiography by a woman in rock 'n' roll. I didn't know anything about this book, and I had no real expectations.
I like Melissa Etheridge's music, but I don't know it fully and I didn't know that much about her. I had a tape from a friend with her first two albums on it, and that stayed in the car for years. To be replaced by a cd of Brave and Crazy.
I had caught some sort of bit on her on tv somewhere.
But this book was raw. Exhausting. Painful. The beginning especially was surprising. Awful.
Her choices were definitely not my choices. Her opportunities not my opportunities.
The lyrics, even songs I knew well (and perhaps the songs I knew best) were mostly ignorable. And then some of them, perhaps the ones most integrated to the story of the book, almost too painful to read.
This was a tough book.
I like Melissa Etheridge's music, but I don't know it fully and I didn't know that much about her. I had a tape from a friend with her first two albums on it, and that stayed in the car for years. To be replaced by a cd of Brave and Crazy.
I had caught some sort of bit on her on tv somewhere.
But this book was raw. Exhausting. Painful. The beginning especially was surprising. Awful.
Her choices were definitely not my choices. Her opportunities not my opportunities.
The lyrics, even songs I knew well (and perhaps the songs I knew best) were mostly ignorable. And then some of them, perhaps the ones most integrated to the story of the book, almost too painful to read.
This was a tough book.
July 31, 2024
This woman is now 63 years old. Too bad she wrote a book that mostly details her gay love relationships. The music she created is commented on here as well as her life as a young child and later the climb to celebrity, but really! Chapter after chapter is about her being gay, her coming out about it and her endless moanings about being involved in dozens of failed girl relationships.
By the time I got to the end of this book I wanted it to be over. I was never a fan of hers to start with so imagine having to read about her deep tounge kisses with gals she met in gay bars!
One of the sickest autobiogrophies I ever read and I have read dozens. I was so glad to be done with this read..... an easy read but a profoundly unpleasant one. One f'd up gal.
By the time I got to the end of this book I wanted it to be over. I was never a fan of hers to start with so imagine having to read about her deep tounge kisses with gals she met in gay bars!
One of the sickest autobiogrophies I ever read and I have read dozens. I was so glad to be done with this read..... an easy read but a profoundly unpleasant one. One f'd up gal.
August 29, 2017
Super cheesy, but I'm a big Melissa fan so it gets 4 stars for being an honest celebrity memoir that felt almost like a conversation with her. The line-by-line writing (even with Laura Morton helping her as co-author) wasn't excellent, but the chapters were cohesive. I learned a lot, and I loved hearing the back stories behind some of my favorite songs. This was written right as she was leaving a 12 year relationship, and a lot changes for her in the year or two it took to write and publish this book. It's been 15 years, and I'm wondering if she'd consider writing another book to show us all how she got to where she is now....
February 20, 2021
I love biographies, and this was no exception! It was really amazing getting "let in" to see all of Melissa Etheridge's experiences up through 2001, when the first edition of this book was published. Melissa Etheridge was a huge part of my coming-out-to-myself experience, and featured in my coming-out-and-never-going-back-in experience, too (which happened after the Ellen episode).
It does strike me how long ago 2001 was! In the years since this book was written, Etheridge has survived breast cancer, had a long-term partnership that included two more kids, broke up with that partner, and gotten married. It's been a long road, and I'm glad it's not over for her yet.
It does strike me how long ago 2001 was! In the years since this book was written, Etheridge has survived breast cancer, had a long-term partnership that included two more kids, broke up with that partner, and gotten married. It's been a long road, and I'm glad it's not over for her yet.
October 13, 2021
I enjoyed the book, very truthful and real. M.E. comes across as unpretentious and herself despite her celebrity status. I feel like she's talking out of the book at the reader.
I really liked that she explains the background stories behind her songs, because I've always wondered.
The book ends with the beginning of her relationship with Tammy. Like others, I would be interested in knowing how she would reflect back on the last 10 years of her life.
All in all I appreciate the fact that I feel like I know her better through this book, which is what memoirs are supposed to do I guess.
I really liked that she explains the background stories behind her songs, because I've always wondered.
The book ends with the beginning of her relationship with Tammy. Like others, I would be interested in knowing how she would reflect back on the last 10 years of her life.
All in all I appreciate the fact that I feel like I know her better through this book, which is what memoirs are supposed to do I guess.
November 28, 2021
I grew up with Melissa’s soundtrack in my life and I still love her music today. It’s energy and passion energizes me! Her immense talent knows no bounds. I know a lot has happened in her life since this book was published and I hope she writes a follow up. I loved her willingness to show us how vulnerable and human she is. She truly has a heart of gold and someone who spreads love while living a truly authentic life. Bravo Melissa!
August 30, 2020
Perhaps I should set the bar higher but it’s nice to read a celebrity memoir and get all the way through without finding a typo or editing error. This is a well-written book that I breezed through and learned a few things about an artist that has had an interesting and eventful career. Bonus points for frankness.
March 28, 2018
This is my girl
I read this book and I could feel Melissa warm her compassion, her true self and her warm loving arms holding some one heart. Melissa you need some one who truly loves you for who you are.
I read this book and I could feel Melissa warm her compassion, her true self and her warm loving arms holding some one heart. Melissa you need some one who truly loves you for who you are.
December 24, 2022
I liked her music in college as a hetero male that can pass white but is half Hispanic. Come to My Window i found potent. The book was informative (though I disagree with her on much) it was interesting insight to a person I watched a few hours of dorm lobby TV and news stories about.
November 2, 2024
Melissa Etheridge tells her truth. It’s sometimes painful, but it’s always real. I love reading memoirs because you learn so much about people. What shaped them, what drives them. And, as Melissa learned, achieving your dreams doesn’t mean you will be happy.
March 5, 2018
Learned a lot about the artist.
April 3, 2018
Although dated (it was released in 2002), it was a compelling read (in spite of being ghost written...). It is a warm, honest book.
December 15, 2019
Surprisingly compelling read!
November 4, 2022
Melissa Etheridge
I love this book. It was so honest ,I laughed , I cried, I enjoyed it immensely. And I was pulling for her to have the best life and I still am.
I love this book. It was so honest ,I laughed , I cried, I enjoyed it immensely. And I was pulling for her to have the best life and I still am.
November 18, 2023
Melissa
I love her music and that's why I read the book. Loved the book I'm on to the next one.
I love her music and that's why I read the book. Loved the book I'm on to the next one.
January 3, 2024
I began reading her book and could not stop
Honest raw true life amazing strength overcoming trauma from her past and being true and finding a song out of loss She is a inspiration ❤️
Honest raw true life amazing strength overcoming trauma from her past and being true and finding a song out of loss She is a inspiration ❤️
July 1, 2024
Good read, but she really needed an editor because some of the sentences are not well put together and that makes the reading difficult.
December 23, 2025
Probably 3.5 but I'm a generous rater.
Starts off heavy with heavy background and just kind of flies through her come up. Without being to detailed she does go in on her love life and come up, a fair amount of band stuff and chronology without ever being to gory on the details.
Super easy read and super quick. I enjoyed it more than I thought I would and she's pretty honest with herself about her shortcomings and problems, not to conceited or bold when it comes to her accomplishments and talents.
I'm not the biggest fan
Starts off heavy with heavy background and just kind of flies through her come up. Without being to detailed she does go in on her love life and come up, a fair amount of band stuff and chronology without ever being to gory on the details.
Super easy read and super quick. I enjoyed it more than I thought I would and she's pretty honest with herself about her shortcomings and problems, not to conceited or bold when it comes to her accomplishments and talents.
I'm not the biggest fan
Displaying 1 - 30 of 85 reviews