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Wait Until Tomorrow: A Daughter's Memoir
A daughter’s memoir of sacrifice and discovery as her ailing mother’s caretaker is “an inspiring story of love, loss and the ravages of aging” ( Kirkus ).
Like all mothers, mine had a set of maxims that she thought were important to impart to if you can’t say anything nice, then don’t say anything at all (unless it’s irresistibly funny); it’s as easy to fall in love with a rich man as it is with a poor man (a nice idea in theory); if you want to commit suicide, wait until tomorrow (advice which has, it turns out, saved my life).
Like many daughters of elderly parents, Pat MacEnulty finds herself in a maze of healthcare negotiations and surprising discoveries when her mother can no longer care for herself. Pat’s mother, who stood by her through her darkest years, was a small-town icon as a composer, pianist, organist, and musical director. She is suddenly unable to be the accomplished, independent person she once was. Now Pat has two to help her daughter avoid the mistakes that derailed her own life, and to see her mother’s masterpiece, “An American Requiem,” find a new life and a new audience in her mother’s lifetime. Along the way, Pat rediscovers her own strength, humor, and rebelliousness at the most unlikely moments.
Like all mothers, mine had a set of maxims that she thought were important to impart to if you can’t say anything nice, then don’t say anything at all (unless it’s irresistibly funny); it’s as easy to fall in love with a rich man as it is with a poor man (a nice idea in theory); if you want to commit suicide, wait until tomorrow (advice which has, it turns out, saved my life).
Like many daughters of elderly parents, Pat MacEnulty finds herself in a maze of healthcare negotiations and surprising discoveries when her mother can no longer care for herself. Pat’s mother, who stood by her through her darkest years, was a small-town icon as a composer, pianist, organist, and musical director. She is suddenly unable to be the accomplished, independent person she once was. Now Pat has two to help her daughter avoid the mistakes that derailed her own life, and to see her mother’s masterpiece, “An American Requiem,” find a new life and a new audience in her mother’s lifetime. Along the way, Pat rediscovers her own strength, humor, and rebelliousness at the most unlikely moments.
- GenresNonfictionMemoir
309 pages, Kindle Edition
First published April 26, 2011
6 people are currently reading
145 people want to read
About the author
Pat MacEnulty
17 books14 followersPat MacEnulty is the author of five books as well as numerous short stories, essays, poems and plays. She is also a teacher, workshop leader, writing coach and freelance editor.
Pat has a Ph.D. from the Creative Writing Program at Florida State University. She received her Bachelor’s degree from the University of Florida and also attended the University of Miami. She is the recipient of several awards for screenplays and fiction writing.
Pat has a Ph.D. from the Creative Writing Program at Florida State University. She received her Bachelor’s degree from the University of Florida and also attended the University of Miami. She is the recipient of several awards for screenplays and fiction writing.
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Displaying 1 - 11 of 11 reviews
June 22, 2011
This is a good read especially for anyone who has cared for their mom as they age. This is a Charlotte author and there are many familiar references to Charlotte. It reminded me of the years I cared for my mom and the mother/daughter relationship between us and mine with my daughter who was in college at the time. This is a memoir and it touches on the emotions you have watching our parent age. You want your Mom to always been the strong, talented woman you knew growing up. But you have to learn to appreciate the aging process and know that you too will go through it with your own daughter by your side.
January 13, 2013
I just took a non-fiction workshop from this author and she is the bomb. I'm really enjoying reading this memoir of hers. It covers her relationship with her mother, but also past recollections of beautiful moments raising her daughter with her husband. It's written nonlinearly so you never know what the next chapter will bring but it's always good stuff.
April 18, 2013
I found this book to be a fast read. For many women of a certain age, this is the story of our lives too. Pat is the daughter sandwiched between a mother who needs her constant care and companionship and a growing daughter who needs her mother's attention as well. I recommend this book.
August 23, 2012
This book started off slowly and almost was returned early to the library. Didn't expect the book to be so emotional! Amazing and I recommend it.
September 8, 2019
A MIXED BAG
I admire the author's effort to capture the struggles of an adult child taxed with care and responsibility for a declining parent. It turns out that the final chapter of that life must be viewed from the perspective of who the parent has been her whole life. The author does a good job describing her mother `s triumphs and trials, those of a single parent and a talented musician.
To get the whole picture, the daughter's eventful past must be presented. That was a stumbling block for me because it involved much switching of time frames. Eventually the story resumes a linear narrative with detailed descriptions of the daughter /mother daily juggling of her roles as adult child, mother, wife and writer/teacher. It is certainly difficult, especially with her mother's changing moods and needs and a resentful husband.
The unveiling off the nitty gritty details of this chaotic time offers frustration and limited hope. The book does, however, come to a beautiful conclusion when family and friends unite to stage a musical elegy the mother had written and performed in her younger days. The evening is a rousing success with the 91 year old mother the celebrated center of attention. The author had introduced parts of the work throughout the book providing glimpses of who the mother was.
Finishing the book on a high note helped smooth away the accounts of frenetic activity, but I left the book without many insights other than, "jut keep going." Perhaps this is.what the author intended: a realistic story in which life doesn't provide needed perspective. The author did attempt to provide tthis intermittently, but often life overwhelmed a more reflective approach.
I admire the author's effort to capture the struggles of an adult child taxed with care and responsibility for a declining parent. It turns out that the final chapter of that life must be viewed from the perspective of who the parent has been her whole life. The author does a good job describing her mother `s triumphs and trials, those of a single parent and a talented musician.
To get the whole picture, the daughter's eventful past must be presented. That was a stumbling block for me because it involved much switching of time frames. Eventually the story resumes a linear narrative with detailed descriptions of the daughter /mother daily juggling of her roles as adult child, mother, wife and writer/teacher. It is certainly difficult, especially with her mother's changing moods and needs and a resentful husband.
The unveiling off the nitty gritty details of this chaotic time offers frustration and limited hope. The book does, however, come to a beautiful conclusion when family and friends unite to stage a musical elegy the mother had written and performed in her younger days. The evening is a rousing success with the 91 year old mother the celebrated center of attention. The author had introduced parts of the work throughout the book providing glimpses of who the mother was.
Finishing the book on a high note helped smooth away the accounts of frenetic activity, but I left the book without many insights other than, "jut keep going." Perhaps this is.what the author intended: a realistic story in which life doesn't provide needed perspective. The author did attempt to provide tthis intermittently, but often life overwhelmed a more reflective approach.
December 12, 2022
Engaging Read
I enjoyed this memoir about a woman who seems initially to have her life going along nicely with husband, teenager, dog, extended family and career only to see herself tossed about like laundry on spin cycle as her musically gifted and aging mother begins to suffer accidents and the inevitable losses of old age.
Pat, the author is an engaging writer who describes being torn between responsibilities to her daughter and husband and her mom's increasing needs and the heart wrenching decision to move her in with her family, then assisted living and finally a nursing home. The adjustment is understandably difficult on both of them. Pat feels that she no longer has time for self care or her own interests and her mother Roz is missing the activity and acclaim of having been a well known choral conductor and musician who played piano and taught music lessons.
The two things I didn't care for in the book was her husband seemed like a "filler" who initially wasn't even present in his daughter's life and at one point pouted like a little boy and turned his back on the girl because she made a college choice HE didn't agree with! I wanted to say to his face "Grow up and get OVER yourself! She has just as much right to choose her educational path as YOU did!" Also, the ending seemed a bit odd because suddenly the elderly mom isn't mentioned! Did she pass on after the book was published? Is she still alive? Did she go live with one of the author's brothers? Remarry a fellow resident or distant admirer? And how is your daughter doing? Still pursuing her educational goals? Career? Married?
Perhaps the author will write further...
I enjoyed this memoir about a woman who seems initially to have her life going along nicely with husband, teenager, dog, extended family and career only to see herself tossed about like laundry on spin cycle as her musically gifted and aging mother begins to suffer accidents and the inevitable losses of old age.
Pat, the author is an engaging writer who describes being torn between responsibilities to her daughter and husband and her mom's increasing needs and the heart wrenching decision to move her in with her family, then assisted living and finally a nursing home. The adjustment is understandably difficult on both of them. Pat feels that she no longer has time for self care or her own interests and her mother Roz is missing the activity and acclaim of having been a well known choral conductor and musician who played piano and taught music lessons.
The two things I didn't care for in the book was her husband seemed like a "filler" who initially wasn't even present in his daughter's life and at one point pouted like a little boy and turned his back on the girl because she made a college choice HE didn't agree with! I wanted to say to his face "Grow up and get OVER yourself! She has just as much right to choose her educational path as YOU did!" Also, the ending seemed a bit odd because suddenly the elderly mom isn't mentioned! Did she pass on after the book was published? Is she still alive? Did she go live with one of the author's brothers? Remarry a fellow resident or distant admirer? And how is your daughter doing? Still pursuing her educational goals? Career? Married?
Perhaps the author will write further...
May 9, 2019
This is a unique book. Caring for an aging parent made this difficult to read at times. This book addresses many of the feelings and emotions that I have. The author had more positive experiences than I have had.
September 5, 2016
I read this book today as a Labor Day treat to myself. I was first interested in how another person deals with such a life situation that we all have to deal with in one way or another once we reach a certain age. It was with glee that I clued in to the fact that it was not just another Kubler-Ross rendering.
Instead, we are introduced to the mother, who is a lauded musician that reads Kierkegaard and is less than six degrees of separation from Pink Floyd and Einstein. The moments from chuckles to belly laughs also surprised me as a positive coping mechanism for remembrance of times that can simply overwhelm some people. The book ends with a joyful coda after being taken through sheer poetry at times.
The author trail blazes the reader through an impressive matriarchal lineage as she recounts family history and provides the same lead way for her daughter, who is just now entering the time of life to figure out how to spend it.
The book is generous with luscious metaphors that provide overtones of unblemished mysticism. There are two strong metaphors in the book. One metaphor is the heart, and another is butterfly, which appears as a metaphor and as a visual when the reader is swept away to India on a spiritual mission. So we are presented with a good read that tackles MacEnulty's life situation with a great deal of compassion and empathy on her part. The author gets outside of herself by caring for others and not getting trapped in her head about her circumstances. The scene in the cemetery is also an acknowledgement that the author touches on a universal phenomenon and that she is on the precipice of grief and not in denial, so she makes the best of it.
There is also an offering of pieces a requiem her mother wrote that are jaw dropping.
I would recommend this book for someone searching for a refreshing outlook on this theme.
Instead, we are introduced to the mother, who is a lauded musician that reads Kierkegaard and is less than six degrees of separation from Pink Floyd and Einstein. The moments from chuckles to belly laughs also surprised me as a positive coping mechanism for remembrance of times that can simply overwhelm some people. The book ends with a joyful coda after being taken through sheer poetry at times.
The author trail blazes the reader through an impressive matriarchal lineage as she recounts family history and provides the same lead way for her daughter, who is just now entering the time of life to figure out how to spend it.
The book is generous with luscious metaphors that provide overtones of unblemished mysticism. There are two strong metaphors in the book. One metaphor is the heart, and another is butterfly, which appears as a metaphor and as a visual when the reader is swept away to India on a spiritual mission. So we are presented with a good read that tackles MacEnulty's life situation with a great deal of compassion and empathy on her part. The author gets outside of herself by caring for others and not getting trapped in her head about her circumstances. The scene in the cemetery is also an acknowledgement that the author touches on a universal phenomenon and that she is on the precipice of grief and not in denial, so she makes the best of it.
There is also an offering of pieces a requiem her mother wrote that are jaw dropping.
I would recommend this book for someone searching for a refreshing outlook on this theme.
April 30, 2013
Enjoyed reading this Charlotte author's work. Writing was real and natural and heartfelt and felt honest.
January 7, 2014
Anything I say might be interpreted as the gushing of a family member. So be it. Just read it and make up your own mind. I'm certain that you'll find the time was well spent.
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September 25, 2014Pat MacEnulty (M.A. '86, Ph.D. '95)
Displaying 1 - 11 of 11 reviews