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Mars and Venus in Touch
Effective communication is a crucial life skill, and John Gray's Mars and Venus series has helped millions peacefully sort out emotional issues in their personal relationships. Now he turns his attention to the professional side of life with Mars and Venus in the Workplace. The concepts remain the same, but are in an entirely new setting; as he says in the introduction, "although gender differences are often not as obvious in the workplace, they are there and are often misunderstood." Gray proceeds to cover a variety of situations typical on the job, from solving revenue problems to negotiating a raise. With his important points printed in bold type, and plenty of prioritizing lists and straightforward examples, this is an easy read that allows you to focus on finding the solutions you seek, rather than wading through research terminology.If you are new to Gray's work, the continual gender-based assumptions may feel outdated, but know the author understands that no one is all male or all female and that we all have areas of sensitivity. The recurring gender pronouns are a simple way of teaching us what years of private practice have shown humans of both gender can benefit greatly by listening effectively, being verbally straightforward, and analyzing the reactions of others. --Jill Lightner
Paperback
First published December 24, 2001
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About the author
John Gray
477 books2,116 followersLibrarian Note: There is more than one author in the GoodReads database with this name.
John Gray is an American relationship counselor, lecturer, and author. In 1969, he began a nine-year association with Maharishi Mahesh Yogi before beginning his career as an author and personal relationship counselor. In 1992 he published the book Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus, which became a long-term best seller and formed the central theme of his subsequent books and career activities. His books have sold millions of copies.
John Gray is an American relationship counselor, lecturer, and author. In 1969, he began a nine-year association with Maharishi Mahesh Yogi before beginning his career as an author and personal relationship counselor. In 1992 he published the book Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus, which became a long-term best seller and formed the central theme of his subsequent books and career activities. His books have sold millions of copies.
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Displaying 1 - 12 of 12 reviews
July 19, 2015
This book was marginally beter than the Mars/Venus book for the masses. At least it focused on communication rather than how Martians/Venutians felt. Or thought. (As if one person would know how all men, let alone all women, thought.)
August 12, 2022
This was very useful, it bit long , and if you read it while reflecting on your daily interaction, it will provide good reference. I recommend this highly.
August 10, 2018
In the introduction John Gray says to take the pieces that you find useful, and leave the rest. In that case this book was like reading horoscopes - there is enough that reads true to think he’s very insightful, but 80-90% can be dismissed.
The part I found particularly disturbing was the specific advice for women to communicate like men. Studies show women are punished for perceived stereotype threat when they communicate like men. There was inadequate research for many of the suggestions in this book especially with providing advice to women for negotiating and communicating. Overall I found a lot of what he said quite out dated and no longer (maybe ever) observably true in today’s workforce.
If you are a woman looking for advice read Harvard Business Review articles or Lean In by Sheryl Sandberg. Her book and suggestions are all backed by evidence.
The part I found particularly disturbing was the specific advice for women to communicate like men. Studies show women are punished for perceived stereotype threat when they communicate like men. There was inadequate research for many of the suggestions in this book especially with providing advice to women for negotiating and communicating. Overall I found a lot of what he said quite out dated and no longer (maybe ever) observably true in today’s workforce.
If you are a woman looking for advice read Harvard Business Review articles or Lean In by Sheryl Sandberg. Her book and suggestions are all backed by evidence.
April 26, 2020
I haven't read any of the Mars and Venus books. I didn't realize there was a whole series of them. I had only heard about the original one time that my dad told me to read. I need to get around to it.
A lot of the suggestions in here is just common sense. And then it just got overwhelming after a while, like okay I'll just do everything I can in the whole wide world.
For some reason this book cut out after 8 hours of playing even though it wasn't done. But it said all the files were downloaded. So I don't know how much is left.
Notes:
Plato said that stress increases by using one part of the brain too much at one time.
The primary reason why women take things personally is because they don't feel heard. (Important)
The ability to understand how men and women communicate brings advantages in the workplace.
The female population is the dominant market with greater purchasing power.
When women perceive a man as someone to depend on, someone who cares, someone who understands and someone they can trust, his influence dramatically goes up.
Power in the workplace comes from the perception of power.
One of the major differences of communication is more emphasis on task versus relationship. On Mars they use communication primarily to solve problems and get a task done. On Venus they use communication for other purposes as well, like minimize stress and feel better, strengthen bonds, stimulate creativity and discover new ideas.
Men use less words to convey point because time is money.
When a male manager is too direct with a female she will think that he is angry with her. When women are angry they will withhold the connection because it's not worth the effort.
Sharing on Venus sounds like complaining on Mars.
Grumbling on Mars sounds like resentment on Venus. But women need to know it's a good sign because he is considering her request. But if a woman grumbles, she is resenting and it's a sign to back off. It's also a sign they are overworked and need help.
Women are relationship oriented and men are goal oriented.
When there is a problem, men go to their cave and women talk about it.
People on Venus like to share tasks and include others on them.
Women often talk about the bigger picture before getting down to the specific point of the problem. Men are the opposite, so when men try to solve the woman's problem without listening to her fully she will think he isn't listening.
On Venus it's not ok to finish sentences. Women need to hear themselves talk things through.
Rules are from Mars, manners are from Venus.
Men need to practice respecting a boundary, and women need to practice asking more.
Crying is one of the many ways to get emotional support from another.
It's our job to put up our sign and for others to pick and choose.
A lot of the suggestions in here is just common sense. And then it just got overwhelming after a while, like okay I'll just do everything I can in the whole wide world.
For some reason this book cut out after 8 hours of playing even though it wasn't done. But it said all the files were downloaded. So I don't know how much is left.
Notes:
Plato said that stress increases by using one part of the brain too much at one time.
The primary reason why women take things personally is because they don't feel heard. (Important)
The ability to understand how men and women communicate brings advantages in the workplace.
The female population is the dominant market with greater purchasing power.
When women perceive a man as someone to depend on, someone who cares, someone who understands and someone they can trust, his influence dramatically goes up.
Power in the workplace comes from the perception of power.
One of the major differences of communication is more emphasis on task versus relationship. On Mars they use communication primarily to solve problems and get a task done. On Venus they use communication for other purposes as well, like minimize stress and feel better, strengthen bonds, stimulate creativity and discover new ideas.
Men use less words to convey point because time is money.
When a male manager is too direct with a female she will think that he is angry with her. When women are angry they will withhold the connection because it's not worth the effort.
Sharing on Venus sounds like complaining on Mars.
Grumbling on Mars sounds like resentment on Venus. But women need to know it's a good sign because he is considering her request. But if a woman grumbles, she is resenting and it's a sign to back off. It's also a sign they are overworked and need help.
Women are relationship oriented and men are goal oriented.
When there is a problem, men go to their cave and women talk about it.
People on Venus like to share tasks and include others on them.
Women often talk about the bigger picture before getting down to the specific point of the problem. Men are the opposite, so when men try to solve the woman's problem without listening to her fully she will think he isn't listening.
On Venus it's not ok to finish sentences. Women need to hear themselves talk things through.
Rules are from Mars, manners are from Venus.
Men need to practice respecting a boundary, and women need to practice asking more.
Crying is one of the many ways to get emotional support from another.
It's our job to put up our sign and for others to pick and choose.
March 7, 2020
This book has some helpful insights into how men and women, in general, behave differently in the workplace. This would have been more helpful if backed by data or empirical studies. Some of the behavioral comments are outdated, as social norms and acceptable behaviors have changed. Some of the "response" lists are helpful, but some chapters seem to be very repetitive. 2.5 Stars
October 25, 2020
كتاب جميل ومفيد. يتحدث الكاتب عن ما يجب ان نفعله وعن ما يجب ان تجنبه في التعامل مع الجنس الاخر، من حيث الثناء وطرق الطلب والرد بنبرة الصوت و وضع الحدود والفصل بين الحياة الشخصية والعملية. ويختصر الكاتب ١٠١ طريقة للتعامل مع الزهرة والمريخ. وجدت في هذا أخطاء كنت امارسها مع الجنس الاخر مثل تذكيره بعمل سيقوم به. هناك جانب واحد سلبي في الكتاب الا وهو تكرار المعلومات.
November 13, 2017
not worth your time
October 11, 2022
I learned a lot from this book, and I'm eager to put what I've learned to use.
November 6, 2022
Extremely helpful for men and women to work together. Scripts for what to say, and how to handle situations, the different ways men and women see things that can cause problems.
October 22, 2014
Mars and Venus in the Workplace, a practical guide for improving communications and getting results at work by John Gray
Found this book interesting and all the differences between a man and a woman in the work place. I still think a lot of the communication between the two are misleading
where a woman would dress to get what she wants along with touching and becoming very personal: crying, bringing up family issues, etc. Liked the discussions on how to substantiate asking for a raise.
Loved hearing male side of how they perceive things and point system, glad to hear of this.
I received this book from National Library Service for my BARD (Braille Audio Reading Device).
Found this book interesting and all the differences between a man and a woman in the work place. I still think a lot of the communication between the two are misleading
where a woman would dress to get what she wants along with touching and becoming very personal: crying, bringing up family issues, etc. Liked the discussions on how to substantiate asking for a raise.
Loved hearing male side of how they perceive things and point system, glad to hear of this.
I received this book from National Library Service for my BARD (Braille Audio Reading Device).
April 27, 2014
It has some good insight but he repeats the same things over and over and over and over. It's a good 120 page book that comes in at 280. Also, his writing style reads like a drone wrote it with limited voice. It needs more scenarios and fewer lists. Last, I don't recall a single being substantiated by empirical, peer reviewed research.
April 19, 2013
La filosofía que insiste en las diferencias perceptivas se aplica aquí a la situación laboral. El libro está escrito como un verdadero libro de texto, con resúmenes constantes durante la explicación, 100 consejos para hombres y 101 para mujeres.
Displaying 1 - 12 of 12 reviews