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The Timewaster Letters #1
The Timewaster Letters
For several years, Robin Cooper has been plaguing department stores, hotels, associations, fan clubs and a certain children's book publisher with his letters. From Prince Charles to the Peanut Council, Harrods to the British Halibut Association - no one is safe. So who is Robin Cooper? Architect, thimble designer, trampoline tester and wasp expert, Robin Cooper is all of these things - it just depends on the person he's writing to...
192 pages, Kindle Edition
First published October 1, 2004
109 people are currently reading
867 people want to read
About the author
Robin Cooper
43 books28 followersRobert Popper is a multi-award winning writer, producer and performer, and best-selling author.
Robert produced Peep Show for Channel 4, winning a BAFTA for series 4 and British Comedy Awards for both series 3 and 4. With Peter Serafinowicz, Robert created, starred in and composed the music for the BBC 2 spoof science comedy, Look Around You, winning the Rose D’or for Best Comedy in 2006 plus a BAFTA nomination.
Robert has written on a number of shows, including BBC’s BAFTA-winning Harry & Paul, and The Peter Serafinowicz Show. He has also script-edited some of the country’s most exciting comedy programmes, including the multi award-winning The Inbetweeners, Graham Linehan’s EMMY award-winning IT Crowd, Peep Show series 5, 6 & 7 and Him & Her.
As a Commissioning Editor for comedy at Channel 4, Robert commissioned Bo’ Selecta!, helped develop The IT Crowd, oversaw two series of Black Books, as well as series 2 of Spaced, and ran Comedy Labs.
Under his pseudonym, Robin Cooper, he wrote The Timewaster Letters books, which have so far sold over 300,000 copies.
Robert apperared regularly on Charlie Higson & Paul Whitehouse’s Sony Award-winning Radio 4 series, Down the Line, as well as their BBC2 show, Bellamy’s People. He also appeared in Simon Pegg and Edgar Wright’s movie, Hot Fuzz, saying just three words – “I’m not Janine”, and worked in Los Angeles as a writer on Sacha Baron Cohen’s movie, Bruno.
In December 2008, Robert set up his own production company, Popper Pictures, to make comedy TV shows.
Robert and Peter created the online afterlife comedy, The Other Side (Radio Spiritworld), as well as the online world religion, Tarvuism (www.tarvu.com).
In 2010, Robert wrote on series 14 of South Park in LA. His six part comedy series, Friday Night Dinner – starring Tamsin Greig, Simon Bird, Paul Ritter, Tom Rosenthal and Mark Heap – which Robert wrote and produced – aired on Channel 4 in 2011, winning the Rose D’or for Best Sitcom and a BAFTA nomination.
A pilot of Friday Night Dinner was recently produced in the US for NBC by Greg Daniels, creator of King of The Hill, and US producer of The Office. Robert recently starred alongside Steve Coogan in Sky’s forthcoming ‘Alan Partidge on Open Books’ which goes out in July. The second series of Friday Night Dinner starts on Channel 4 on October 7th, along with a Christmas Special at – well, Christmas.
Robert produced Peep Show for Channel 4, winning a BAFTA for series 4 and British Comedy Awards for both series 3 and 4. With Peter Serafinowicz, Robert created, starred in and composed the music for the BBC 2 spoof science comedy, Look Around You, winning the Rose D’or for Best Comedy in 2006 plus a BAFTA nomination.
Robert has written on a number of shows, including BBC’s BAFTA-winning Harry & Paul, and The Peter Serafinowicz Show. He has also script-edited some of the country’s most exciting comedy programmes, including the multi award-winning The Inbetweeners, Graham Linehan’s EMMY award-winning IT Crowd, Peep Show series 5, 6 & 7 and Him & Her.
As a Commissioning Editor for comedy at Channel 4, Robert commissioned Bo’ Selecta!, helped develop The IT Crowd, oversaw two series of Black Books, as well as series 2 of Spaced, and ran Comedy Labs.
Under his pseudonym, Robin Cooper, he wrote The Timewaster Letters books, which have so far sold over 300,000 copies.
Robert apperared regularly on Charlie Higson & Paul Whitehouse’s Sony Award-winning Radio 4 series, Down the Line, as well as their BBC2 show, Bellamy’s People. He also appeared in Simon Pegg and Edgar Wright’s movie, Hot Fuzz, saying just three words – “I’m not Janine”, and worked in Los Angeles as a writer on Sacha Baron Cohen’s movie, Bruno.
In December 2008, Robert set up his own production company, Popper Pictures, to make comedy TV shows.
Robert and Peter created the online afterlife comedy, The Other Side (Radio Spiritworld), as well as the online world religion, Tarvuism (www.tarvu.com).
In 2010, Robert wrote on series 14 of South Park in LA. His six part comedy series, Friday Night Dinner – starring Tamsin Greig, Simon Bird, Paul Ritter, Tom Rosenthal and Mark Heap – which Robert wrote and produced – aired on Channel 4 in 2011, winning the Rose D’or for Best Sitcom and a BAFTA nomination.
A pilot of Friday Night Dinner was recently produced in the US for NBC by Greg Daniels, creator of King of The Hill, and US producer of The Office. Robert recently starred alongside Steve Coogan in Sky’s forthcoming ‘Alan Partidge on Open Books’ which goes out in July. The second series of Friday Night Dinner starts on Channel 4 on October 7th, along with a Christmas Special at – well, Christmas.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 160 reviews
February 17, 2013
I have never before felt so utterly let down and lied to by a bunch of cover acclamations. “Downright hilarious”, claim the Observer and “the funniest book you’ll read this year” state the Guardian. Ugh. I should have guessed, I suppose, when I saw the other acclaims written by comedians such as Avid Merrion (of Bo’ Selecta! fame) and Matt Lucas. The truth is, I simply don’t find them funny. I would rather not be slapped in the face with silliness and blatancy, but that is a personal preference.
The Timewaster Letters is a collection of correspondences between Mr Cooper and a variety of societies, groups and associations. They, as promised, are a complete waste of everybody’s time – recommending ridiculous ideas, making ludicrous suggestions and asking absurd questions, all in the name of humour. The replies range from polite indulgence to complete ignorance or their own witty comebacks.
There are a few moments that raised the odd smile – I liked his letter to the Halibut Society, for instance, and I did laugh out loud once (but only once – and I forget why). The humour here though just doesn’t work. Cooper simply tries too hard to be funny and it comes out forced, obvious and looking a little pathetic. In an attempt at making the recipients look foolish, all he actually manages to do is to make himself look like a childish, attention seeking, asinine idiot and in actual fact, the beneficiaries come out of this remarkably well.
The Timewaster Letters is genuinely a waste of time – not just for the recipients of the letters as intended, but for the reader and for Cooper himself. Even if the more obvious style comedy is your ‘thing’, the concept of this book gets old incredibly quickly and I don’t know why anyone would choose to pick up the second volume. However, should you decide to take up reading this ridiculous collection, do yourself a favour and merely dip into it occasionally, when passing, and read just one or two selections at a time. That way, you may smile a little now and then, maybe even laugh a little, without getting (too) bored by an old and transparent concept.
The Timewaster Letters is a collection of correspondences between Mr Cooper and a variety of societies, groups and associations. They, as promised, are a complete waste of everybody’s time – recommending ridiculous ideas, making ludicrous suggestions and asking absurd questions, all in the name of humour. The replies range from polite indulgence to complete ignorance or their own witty comebacks.
There are a few moments that raised the odd smile – I liked his letter to the Halibut Society, for instance, and I did laugh out loud once (but only once – and I forget why). The humour here though just doesn’t work. Cooper simply tries too hard to be funny and it comes out forced, obvious and looking a little pathetic. In an attempt at making the recipients look foolish, all he actually manages to do is to make himself look like a childish, attention seeking, asinine idiot and in actual fact, the beneficiaries come out of this remarkably well.
The Timewaster Letters is genuinely a waste of time – not just for the recipients of the letters as intended, but for the reader and for Cooper himself. Even if the more obvious style comedy is your ‘thing’, the concept of this book gets old incredibly quickly and I don’t know why anyone would choose to pick up the second volume. However, should you decide to take up reading this ridiculous collection, do yourself a favour and merely dip into it occasionally, when passing, and read just one or two selections at a time. That way, you may smile a little now and then, maybe even laugh a little, without getting (too) bored by an old and transparent concept.
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April 24, 2008I wish i could give a minus star for wasting paper.
first a history lesson: back in 1980, satirist, writer, rake and playboy, Willie Donaldson came out with 'The Henry Root Letters', a genuinely funny lampooning of the rich famous and pretentious by a true wit. look up willie in wikipedia, he lived quite a life.
Now comes a new generation of 'wits' and standards have clearly fallen. Robin cooper has also had the idea of writing provocative, obviously spoof letters to various people and organisations and printing both sides of the correspondence. i say 'obviously' spoof because of the low standard of deceptive prose, but the victims seem not to spot it.
Cooper's letters are obvious, shrill and unfunny which probably explains why the replies are similarly leaden and flat. He is the classroom wag and the cheeky chappie on the playground but he is nowhere near publishable meterial. In donaldson's hands the spoofs would have been smooth parodies of the skill of craig brown.
it's a timewasting read and certainly time wasting to review and read about, but if it sends you to revisit the henry root originals, it will have been worth it.
first a history lesson: back in 1980, satirist, writer, rake and playboy, Willie Donaldson came out with 'The Henry Root Letters', a genuinely funny lampooning of the rich famous and pretentious by a true wit. look up willie in wikipedia, he lived quite a life.
Now comes a new generation of 'wits' and standards have clearly fallen. Robin cooper has also had the idea of writing provocative, obviously spoof letters to various people and organisations and printing both sides of the correspondence. i say 'obviously' spoof because of the low standard of deceptive prose, but the victims seem not to spot it.
Cooper's letters are obvious, shrill and unfunny which probably explains why the replies are similarly leaden and flat. He is the classroom wag and the cheeky chappie on the playground but he is nowhere near publishable meterial. In donaldson's hands the spoofs would have been smooth parodies of the skill of craig brown.
it's a timewasting read and certainly time wasting to review and read about, but if it sends you to revisit the henry root originals, it will have been worth it.
March 23, 2021
This book has everything: meat scarecrows, the color greem, a gold-plated necklace as worn by Dmitrius...
A great collection of humorous and ridiculous letters written by the author to organizations such as the British Hamster Association or The Campaign for Courtesy. The letters are hilarious and ridiculous, and not mean-spirited or mocking.
I hope the recipients enjoyed receiving them as much as I did reading them.
A great collection of humorous and ridiculous letters written by the author to organizations such as the British Hamster Association or The Campaign for Courtesy. The letters are hilarious and ridiculous, and not mean-spirited or mocking.
I hope the recipients enjoyed receiving them as much as I did reading them.
August 1, 2015
On the one hand, this book is hilarious. On the other hand, I felt bad for some of the people who spent the time to write back each time, only to receive more and more obnoxious letters from Robin Cooper until they realized it was all a joke.
The book starts out strong with his letter to a garden catalog asking them to include his scarecrows made of beef (with diagrams!), then gets even funnier with his description of a bird trap that drowns the birds in syrup. The catalog writes back and says they are bird friendly and tells Robin never to write again. Most of the letters have the same pattern, if he receives any answer at all.
My favorite is the letter to the Ball and Roller Bearing Manufacturers Association asking them to write to his son "Michael" who "threatened to flood the house when we are out if we so much as touch one of his bearings" in his collection of 95,000 ball-bearings.
The book is a quick, silly read perfect for breaking the monotony at children's baseball games.
The book starts out strong with his letter to a garden catalog asking them to include his scarecrows made of beef (with diagrams!), then gets even funnier with his description of a bird trap that drowns the birds in syrup. The catalog writes back and says they are bird friendly and tells Robin never to write again. Most of the letters have the same pattern, if he receives any answer at all.
My favorite is the letter to the Ball and Roller Bearing Manufacturers Association asking them to write to his son "Michael" who "threatened to flood the house when we are out if we so much as touch one of his bearings" in his collection of 95,000 ball-bearings.
The book is a quick, silly read perfect for breaking the monotony at children's baseball games.
August 30, 2022
I read this book a little while ago and like to flick through it now and again as it's great for a little chuckle, would recommend having a look through it if you ever see it! :)
June 10, 2012
I was caught away from home with an hour to wait for someone, and with a dying tab battery, so I popped into Oxfam to get a non-e read and picked this up, glad I did. Got half way through the book there and then, sitting in the car.
The concept is that Cook writes letters to companies with oddball ideas/comments and publishes them, together with the replies he gets. The result is a very funny book that sometimes makes you feel sorry for his 'victims' but also, at times, makes you respect the restraint and dignity of the people who are giving polite replies to letters obviously written by a complete nutter. His letter to a 'Secondary Metals....' organisation saying they should have more confidence in themselves and rename themselves the 'Primary Metals...' org is funny, but gets a kind and helpful reply explaining what secondary metals are, a win for the 'victim' there I think! The staff at Dorling Kindersley come out of it very well, although his letters to them are surreal!
My favourite is a letter asking a clarinet organisation how he can get 200 clarinettists to come to his house for his wife's birthday. He wants them to pick up their instruments as she walks in so she thinks they are going to play, but the birthday surprise is that they should then put down their instruments and leave without playing a note. That was funny enough, but he adds he must have concert standard clarinet players. Arf arf :-D
The concept is that Cook writes letters to companies with oddball ideas/comments and publishes them, together with the replies he gets. The result is a very funny book that sometimes makes you feel sorry for his 'victims' but also, at times, makes you respect the restraint and dignity of the people who are giving polite replies to letters obviously written by a complete nutter. His letter to a 'Secondary Metals....' organisation saying they should have more confidence in themselves and rename themselves the 'Primary Metals...' org is funny, but gets a kind and helpful reply explaining what secondary metals are, a win for the 'victim' there I think! The staff at Dorling Kindersley come out of it very well, although his letters to them are surreal!
My favourite is a letter asking a clarinet organisation how he can get 200 clarinettists to come to his house for his wife's birthday. He wants them to pick up their instruments as she walks in so she thinks they are going to play, but the birthday surprise is that they should then put down their instruments and leave without playing a note. That was funny enough, but he adds he must have concert standard clarinet players. Arf arf :-D
December 26, 2024
Had me proper giggling. The shoelace incident a Debenhams was WILD.
February 21, 2025
Should be called The Timewaster Book
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July 23, 2023idk what rating i should give it so i’m just not gonna lmao
i don’t really read humour books but this one was okay! interesting idea he had tbf
i don’t really read humour books but this one was okay! interesting idea he had tbf
May 13, 2025
Hysterically funny.
April 19, 2025
I heard about this book on a podcast so thought I would give it a go as it sounded funny. Robin Cooper has spent a lot of the late 90s and early 2000s writing time wasting letters to companies and organisations. Some of them engage with him and some don’t. Robin Cooper is a pseudonym for Robert Popper, a writer who has written some hilarious tv series I really like. I had high hopes.
The front cover says that according to Ricky Gervais the book is ‘very, very funny’ but I didn’t find this at all. One or two bits were vaguely amusing but the format became repetitive and because the letters weren’t funny it didn’t really hold my interest. Some of the handwritten letters were hard to read and no transcript was provided. It was a good book for picking up to kill 5 minutes, read a few letters and come back to it another time. Maybe it would have been more funny as an audiobook?
Unfortunately I felt this book was a bit of a waste of time and I won’t bother with the follow up. Maybe I expected too much.
A generous 2 stars.
The front cover says that according to Ricky Gervais the book is ‘very, very funny’ but I didn’t find this at all. One or two bits were vaguely amusing but the format became repetitive and because the letters weren’t funny it didn’t really hold my interest. Some of the handwritten letters were hard to read and no transcript was provided. It was a good book for picking up to kill 5 minutes, read a few letters and come back to it another time. Maybe it would have been more funny as an audiobook?
Unfortunately I felt this book was a bit of a waste of time and I won’t bother with the follow up. Maybe I expected too much.
A generous 2 stars.
August 13, 2014
I can't believe I have not reviewed this book. This is the funniest book I have ever read, superseding Monty Python's Big Book. I fought for oxygen the first time I read this, literally and physically. There are parts of this book that are hilarious with a capital 'Hil'. The section on paint colours, birdbox and mayoral maces I use in times of therapy, it is much cheaper than professional help.
If I am ever stuck for a present for 'an uncle' 'Granddad' 'dad' male friend' as Blue Peter might say, I buy them this. The inform them this is the funniest book I have ever read! What more recommendation do you need? Word of caution, this is British humour.
A more modern, slightly more acerbic version is The Raymond Delauney emails. I have never read the Henry Root letters.
If I am ever stuck for a present for 'an uncle' 'Granddad' 'dad' male friend' as Blue Peter might say, I buy them this. The inform them this is the funniest book I have ever read! What more recommendation do you need? Word of caution, this is British humour.
A more modern, slightly more acerbic version is The Raymond Delauney emails. I have never read the Henry Root letters.
July 21, 2016
Completely hilarious. Cooper had lots of interesting yet absurd ideas. It's funny that a number of his respondents go along with him and are even considerate. I reckon the best ones are those that he invents - stories, poems, mascots, tools, events. Oh, his sketches! Undeniably the funniest.
March 19, 2018
Laugh out loud hilarious
What can I say, this book had me laughing out loud all the way through-it is hilariously funny. I earn buy-in you don't want to draw attention to yourself-don't read in public -fantastic book
What can I say, this book had me laughing out loud all the way through-it is hilariously funny. I earn buy-in you don't want to draw attention to yourself-don't read in public -fantastic book
March 3, 2023
TLDR - it's marmite
okay okay I admit it I'm cheating a little bit I didn't read this book but the audiobook of the compilation of the three books but after getting to the end of book one I just couldn't do anymore. I felt like I deserved some credit for what I did get through and there is no audiobook for book one by itself so here I am.
I picked this up to cheer myself up with a bit of humour but, unfortunately, this just isn't my humour (probably because I spent far too long working in customer service roles having to be polite to people like this and it was not fun. I thought this would be someone replying to scammers or people who have been rude or complete a**holes. Instead, he just randomly writes or rings people and proceeds to waste their time.
It didn't help with the audio version that he put on this high-pitched nasal voice which whilst offset slightly by Dawn French and Peter Serafinowicz (who it turns out has a voice I would listen to all day long) there isn't enough of them to make it worth listening to a voice that makes me feel like someone is assaulting my eardrums.
Maybe the kind version would be better as you could easily pick it up and stop it as you felt like it and you wouldn't have the voice to deal with.
Anyway, I think this is probably a bit marmite you'll either think it's funny or you won't.
okay okay I admit it I'm cheating a little bit I didn't read this book but the audiobook of the compilation of the three books but after getting to the end of book one I just couldn't do anymore. I felt like I deserved some credit for what I did get through and there is no audiobook for book one by itself so here I am.
I picked this up to cheer myself up with a bit of humour but, unfortunately, this just isn't my humour (probably because I spent far too long working in customer service roles having to be polite to people like this and it was not fun. I thought this would be someone replying to scammers or people who have been rude or complete a**holes. Instead, he just randomly writes or rings people and proceeds to waste their time.
It didn't help with the audio version that he put on this high-pitched nasal voice which whilst offset slightly by Dawn French and Peter Serafinowicz (who it turns out has a voice I would listen to all day long) there isn't enough of them to make it worth listening to a voice that makes me feel like someone is assaulting my eardrums.
Maybe the kind version would be better as you could easily pick it up and stop it as you felt like it and you wouldn't have the voice to deal with.
Anyway, I think this is probably a bit marmite you'll either think it's funny or you won't.
May 13, 2020
Very enjoyable and very silly.
Sometimes you simply have to read who he is writing to and it just makes you laugh. ‘The romantic novelists association’ excellent, this should be good.
The best ones are when there is actual correspondence from the poor unfortunate who has to deal with these letters
It’s not as much fun when you get an initial letter with no comeback.
Ahhhhhh though, to travel back into a time where letters were sent and Charles Kennedy was leader of the Liberal Democrat’s.
What a lovely trouble free time that all was. (I’m writing this in the future where the world is being run by adult sized toddlers and we may or may not all die from a new virus)
Sometimes you simply have to read who he is writing to and it just makes you laugh. ‘The romantic novelists association’ excellent, this should be good.
The best ones are when there is actual correspondence from the poor unfortunate who has to deal with these letters
It’s not as much fun when you get an initial letter with no comeback.
Ahhhhhh though, to travel back into a time where letters were sent and Charles Kennedy was leader of the Liberal Democrat’s.
What a lovely trouble free time that all was. (I’m writing this in the future where the world is being run by adult sized toddlers and we may or may not all die from a new virus)
February 4, 2018
Basically prank calls to various organizations, agencies, and associations by written letter correspondence. If you appreciate absurdity you will likely enjoy a quick breeze through this collection. Some were laugh-out-loud worthy, but unfortunately the concept grows tired and obnoxious over the length of a book. The correspondence is not malicious as much as it is a test of absurdity on an unwitting participant. Still, I think it is worth a pickup or a coffee table.
August 27, 2020
3.5. Robin Cooper is the pseudonym of Robert Pepper, writer of Friday Night Dinner for Channel 4. Cooper writes ridiculous letters to organisations, which they generally take seriously, making for some funny reading, although one can't help but feel sorry for his victims (not that he is ever anything but courteous, he just completely wastes their time, as the title of the book suggests). Very silly, but it'll make you smile, which is always a good thing!
October 30, 2021
This is such a funny book there were parts that literally made me do a very embarrassing laughter snort.
But apart from it being really funny it's quite sweet how nice people are to him when he send them completely bonkers letters. I really like the woman at Dorling Kindersley who is so lovely and patient him, I was also really tickled by recurrent references to his wife's bad ankle - the whole thing is really funny.
But apart from it being really funny it's quite sweet how nice people are to him when he send them completely bonkers letters. I really like the woman at Dorling Kindersley who is so lovely and patient him, I was also really tickled by recurrent references to his wife's bad ankle - the whole thing is really funny.
August 18, 2018
I found it rather silly than funny. Robins letters are often so silly that it must be apparent to the companies and organisations that it must have been clear to them that they were the subject of a joke made on their behalf.
The title is a good description of how I wasted my time reading this book.
The title is a good description of how I wasted my time reading this book.
December 31, 2018
This book starts off ok...but after a while it just gets stupid & I was glad when it was finished! The whole thing was just plain stupid & not that funny after all, like some kid had written it...what a let down. I found myself questioning whether the people who had thought it was "very, very funny" had infact read another book!!
October 9, 2023
Well this was an incredibly silly book, and I did want to like it (the cover certainly promised hilarity) but unfortunately it just wasn't my thing. The comedy just goes to close to cringe/prank material for me, it's not in bad taste or anything it's just the sort of thing that makes me more uncomfortable than amused to read.
November 20, 2024
Popper’s mischievous letter writer prompts a fair few chuckles, particularly with his mangled use of the English language and anarchic use of brackets (parentheses). However too much of the correspondence lacks sufficient humour or pay-off to warrant inclusion, giving the overall impression of a comedian rather short on material.
June 30, 2025
This is a master piece of a book. The book contains a series of pointless letters when sometimes he doesn't even get a response. It is so funny and will have you laughing with in the first few pages.
Cooper's letters are weird and very very funny. Most importantly they're all a complete waste of time. I guarantee that this book with have you dying in seconds.
Cooper's letters are weird and very very funny. Most importantly they're all a complete waste of time. I guarantee that this book with have you dying in seconds.
November 21, 2025
I (like many others) love epistolary books; this collection of real letters from Robin Cooper essentially trolling various unique organizations in the UK is super funny and fascinating. Sometimes he keeps up correspondence with multiple letters, even four letters before the recipient catches on that he's doing some sort of joke.
August 14, 2017
Hilarious little stories, but became quite repetitive towards the end, so it doesn't lead me to believe that it is a style that transcends well enough in an entire book, just because as you progress you unfortunately use that novelty factor.
December 5, 2018
If you want to waste your time then read this book. How utterly boring and pointless. I thought I would enjoy it after laughing all the way through Joe Lycetts book. They couldn’t be any more different!
June 27, 2020
I read this too long ago to rate but I'm going to hazard a guess at three stars. I have a feeling I didn't finish it though. It's a collection of pedantic and humorous letters written to various companies and organisations. it's a light read for a bit of light relief.
August 26, 2020
A complete collection of some of the absurd letters the author has written to various organisation.
Some funny, some not so much, but all of them entertaining in its own way.
As the name suggests, if you have time to waste - pick this book up for your entertainment.
Some funny, some not so much, but all of them entertaining in its own way.
As the name suggests, if you have time to waste - pick this book up for your entertainment.
February 21, 2021
Robert Popper is one creative creature! Where he got the ideas for all these letters, I'll never know. If you're looking for a lighthearted read to give you some laughs in these crazy days, I recommend this!
Displaying 1 - 30 of 160 reviews