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Captain Shoelace: Seasonal Mayhem
A hilarious tale of the first year of Captain Shoelace's life in the English village of Effam. Split over four seasons, his life accelerates into a living nightmare as he endeavours to impress the villagers. This warning to all that pretentiousness does not pay, features colourful characters, wordplay and moderate sexual innuendo. Targeted for those aged 16 to 116, this volume contains approximately 37,000 words.
He replied; Mr Tarantula, the idea that you could consider yourself on the same social level as an officer of the realm is utterly ridiculous. My good fellow, what would the Queen say if she found out that I was on first name terms with somebody like you!
Would you like a vol-au-vent?
No thank you, Mrs Johnson, I'm saving myself until I get married.
Magnificent!
He replied; Mr Tarantula, the idea that you could consider yourself on the same social level as an officer of the realm is utterly ridiculous. My good fellow, what would the Queen say if she found out that I was on first name terms with somebody like you!
Would you like a vol-au-vent?
No thank you, Mrs Johnson, I'm saving myself until I get married.
Magnificent!
175 pages, Kindle Edition
First published October 5, 2011
3 people are currently reading
12 people want to read
About the author
Brian Johnson
27 booksMy word where to begin? I've had time on my hands over recent years, following early retirement, that I believe has been put to good use. My wife and I enjoy holidays, theatre and dining out, together I hasten to add; which I guess would keep most people content. Primarily though, I think I have been lucky to spend more time with my grandchildren than would otherwise have been possible.
I've been able to do some not very good watercolour pantings and some cooking which has turned out to be surprisingly edible.
As far as my writing is concerned; it was originally no more than a case of give it a try and see how it goes. The first chapter of my debut Captain Shoelace story was so well received by friends and family that I was encouraged to see it through to the end.
I now have three Captain Shoelace books, a thriller, a collection of short stories under my belt. Add to that my latest book "One Sin Follows Another" and you can see that I've got the writing bug.
I've been able to do some not very good watercolour pantings and some cooking which has turned out to be surprisingly edible.
As far as my writing is concerned; it was originally no more than a case of give it a try and see how it goes. The first chapter of my debut Captain Shoelace story was so well received by friends and family that I was encouraged to see it through to the end.
I now have three Captain Shoelace books, a thriller, a collection of short stories under my belt. Add to that my latest book "One Sin Follows Another" and you can see that I've got the writing bug.
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Displaying 1 - 2 of 2 reviews
December 8, 2012
At first I thought this was a teen book due to the way it was written but then the innuendos more and more obvious until they came to a crescendo of poorly written suggestive verse!
A few parts of the book made me laugh out loud and had there been less badly disguised sexual intimation then this would've been a very amusing book.
On a side note, the whole way through the book there are scatterings of words that the Captain in the story has to look up in his dictionary .. maybe the author could do the same with the word 'your'.
A few parts of the book made me laugh out loud and had there been less badly disguised sexual intimation then this would've been a very amusing book.
On a side note, the whole way through the book there are scatterings of words that the Captain in the story has to look up in his dictionary .. maybe the author could do the same with the word 'your'.
November 14, 2011
A very funny book in which you will encounter many people whom you will instantly recognise and incidents which you will have experienced yourself on an almost daily basis. It reflects modern life in a hilarious, tongue in cheek way that will have you laughing out loud.
Displaying 1 - 2 of 2 reviews