So What: A Single Mom's* Guide to Staying Sane in the 21st Century

by Laynee Gilbert

So A Single Mom's* Guide to Staying Sane in the 21st Century (*Not just for single moms) is a light, inspiring read full of practical survival tips for parenting in the modern era. In an engaging and entertaining style, Gilbert combines her varied experience as a mom, professional counselor and organizational manager to deliver a powerful, succinct message that speaks to parents of any generation. After reading this little gem, the words So What are certain to elicit a smile... and a refreshing new attitude!

Genres: Parenting, Nonfiction

108 pages

First published September 15, 2011

About the author

Laynee Gilbert, M.A., LMFT, is a mom, counselor and writer, with a “day job” in management at a Silicon Valley software company. Since her initial publication in 1992, her books have reached thousands of individuals, counselors, hospices and other care-giving organizations.

Laynee lives with her daughter Liana in northern California.

Reviews

[Sally Guillen · Rating 4 out of 5]

I received this book as a First Read and was so happy I got it. I was childless at 28yrs old and then tragedy struck. My older brother, who had been dealing with depression, took the selfish way out. He left 4 children who at the time didn't even have their mother as she was in jail.

Well it ended up that my mother, whom I cared for, was asked if she would adopt the kids. She said yes and I instantly became second "mom" to 4 growing children. Richard Jr is now 14, Amathyst is 11, Edward 10, and Damion 9 have taught me so much. I've been stretched to my limit only to snap back with a smile from them. They press every single one of my buttons and then shut me off with a hug. Raising children has to be the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. It has made me appreciate my mother who left my father when I was 9. She raised 5 children on her own and I still don't know how she did it.

This book has really helped me and I am waiting for a teen version. I don't remember it be so hard to be a kid when I was young. I'm forever asking myself, "So What?" if the kids go outside and play in the mud. "So what?" if they stained the shirt that I just bought them. It isn't that big of a deal and there is no reason to blow a gasket.

This is a great book and I recommend anyone with kids to read it. I think even married couples with children could benefit from reading this.

[Crystal · Rating 3 out of 5]

I received this book as part of Goodreads' First Reads. Typically, this is not a book I would have picked up on my own--especially since I am not single, nor a mother. In fact, I signed up for the giveaway because I thought it might be a useful read for my sister, who is a single mother.

That being said, I read through the book and I really felt like it was applicable to more than just single moms. Gilbert explains her "So What" theory through several short vignettes from her and her daughter's relationship. It was a quick read, but I've found that some of the book has stuck with me. It's really somewhere between three and four stars for me. The "So What" theory is actually a pretty zen theory, and it does help you think about why you are reacting to situations the way that you are.

If you find yourself buried under stress and anxiety, "So What" may be a helpful read to put things back into perspective.

[Joy · Rating 2 out of 5]

I received this book as in a Goodread’s giveaway.

Well I have had this book for some time and have never written a review. “So what?”

There were some tired and true parenting tips in this book. Don’t lie to your kids, and the corollary, don’t make promises you can’t keep. I couldn’t agree more. Give your kids choices when possible. Yes I think that helps them learn to make choices. There are more but I just kept getting the feeling it was a little too laid back.

Of course for the single parent who has no time to read, this is short and that is in its favor. I just can’t help thinking that “so what” is just a little bit too “so what.”

Now I’ve written my review. “So what?” I don’t even have kids.

[Sylwia · Rating 4 out of 5]

I had won this book through goodreads.

The book is fairly simple and easy to read. It has plenty of short little stories of the authors life as a single mother and how she strives to better her parenting techniques. Reading the stories I find the author to be an great mother that is not perfect (but then again no one is), who has very good communications skills with her daughter. I will definitely recommend this book to my friends who are single mothers. Especially those who constantly worry and judge their own parenting skills are just not good enough or that they are not perfect like they should be.
Even parents that are not divorced could learn a couple of things from this book.

[Dana · Rating 4 out of 5]

This little book is not just for single moms, but for all moms. The author gives great advice about just going with the flow and saying "so what" sometimes and how that can be a helpul and useful parenting tactic rather than always insisting on being in control. Sometimes it is better to just say "so what" and be flexible about things or you and your children may go crazy. It is ok to do what you think is best and not worry about what other parents may think about how you parent your chilren if you are doing what is best for you and your children. I got this book free to review from Goodreads and it is a refreshing reminder to just relax about things sometimes.

[Jo Ann · Rating 4 out of 5]

First of all thank you for the book I won it through Goodreads giveaway.

I'm a mother of 3 and a grandparent of 2 I'm no expert in parenting but it really is at times "so what." There is no such thing as a perfect parent all we can do is make what we think at the time is the best decision and move on. All families are different and you just have to do what works for you. When I read the book I felt a personal connection with the author I could relate to her in her many dilemmas of motherhood. She gives good advice and I would highly recommend this book.

[Kim Melso · Rating 3 out of 5]

I won this in a First reads giveaway and I am so happy I did! I am not a single mom or even a mom but I still was able to connect with the author and her new found notion of So What. I personally am one of those future driven, super organized, anxious people. The idea of the So What approach very much appeals to me in helping let of my worries. I loved the personal approach of the author and the many example she gives from her own life. Great read and I recommend it to anyone in need of some life reshaping.

[Marcie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Laynee Gilbert has the cleanest writing voice of any book I've held in my hands. Her compassion and ability for honest, poignant self-reflection offer a balm for any person facing the ultimate challenge of parenting (or just surviving the 21st century). A must-read on a hard day ~ Laynee becomes a comforting hug to say, You're not alone...Continue the good fight! Above all, So What is a reminder and teacher to become present-focused, that ultimately after everything is said and done, "all that really matters is being spontaneous, authentic and present" (86).

[Randi · Rating 3 out of 5]

I received this book for free as a Goodreads prize and this is my first review.
So What is an entertaining and easy to read assist to realistic parenting. Gilbert’s words of wisdom, although not groundbreaking, are practical and reaffirming. We are constantly bombarded by messages that we need to be faster, be better, be perfect, etc. and for less than the price of a manicure, this little gem gives us permission to just be. It would make an ideal pick-me- up for anyone having a tough day.

[Jamie Brown · Rating 4 out of 5]

In today's times it has been very hard with the economy the way it is going and it is not getting any easier if you have children. My sister-in-law has been a prime example. Her and my brother have four boys and my brother works all the time. To make ends meet she has had to work just about as much. Their boys have been more than a handful since they have both had to be working. After reading some of the tips in this book she has said that some things seem to make coping a little easier.

[Karin · Rating 2 out of 5]

I received this book for free as a Good reads First read.

I thought this book was OK. It not any groundbreaking new approach to parenting but I could see how it may help some parents. If I was more of a high stress parent who liked a lot of order and schedules I think it would have helped me more.

[Roxy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Even though I don't have children, this book helped me look at situations differently for when I'm helping with my Grandma.

And so far, since starting the book & just stopping, taking a breath & then going about helping her - I believe it's helped calm us both down & enjoy each other more than we have in a long time.

[Anna · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved the stories in the book. This book has taught me to slow down and think about my response to my child's actions instead of immediately reacting. Also a good reminder to enjoy your children and their uniqueness.

[Aimee Tate · Rating 5 out of 5]

I won this book in a First-Reads Goodreads giveaway.

I'm not a Mother yet but I found the advice in this book to be good in everyday situations. As someone that deals with anxiety, "so what" is good advice.

[Trish · Rating 5 out of 5]

Funny and a good read. I have four kids and my youngest is eight so I have been doing some of these ideas for years. But it was nice reading the stories in the book. Thank you for letting me read this book.

[Susie · Rating 4 out of 5]

I recieved this book as a free Goodreads giveaway.

I am not a mother yet but I very much enjoyed this book. It gives you an idea of a different style of parenting that can help you in your normal daily life as well.

[Michelle]

It's always helpful to hear other "real" moms (as opposed to Pinterest Moms!) weigh in on how life is. Kudos to Laynee for her bravery: it's too bad we still live in a culture where it takes bravery to admit we are human.

[Kristen · Rating 5 out of 5]

I'm not a single mom, but this book was incredibly insightful. It's currently making it's rounds with my circle of friends and we all keep saying the same thing - THANK YOU!

[Jannette Sternberg · Rating 4 out of 5]

I won this threw Goodreads.com give away!!! I was surprised to find some things she talks about I already do with parenting. Some people do to much so what haha Good Read!!!

[Jessica Grant · Rating 4 out of 5]

Every Mom should adopt this style! Always remembering what is important in life and being able to say "So What" to the things that aren't will keep everyone sane and happy.

[Katherine Strangaritch · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is well written and I highly recommend this book