I Was Wrong : The Untold Story of the Shocking Journey from PTL Power to Prison

by Jim Bakker

Now for the first time, Jim Bakker tells his own story - the glory days as a televangelist, the hostile takeover, the emotional breakdown. How he got to prison, his experiences behind bars, and what he learned.

Genres: Biography, Christian, Nonfiction, Memoir, Autobiography, Spirituality, Religion

Unknown Binding

First published January 1, 1997

About the author

James Orsen Bakker is an American televangelist, a former Assemblies of God minister, and a former host (with his then-wife Tammy Faye Bakker) of The PTL Club, a popular evangelical Christian television program. A sex scandal led to his resignation from the ministry. Subsequent revelations of accounting fraud brought about his imprisonment and divorce and effectively ended his time in the larger public eye.

Reviews

[Simon · Rating 2 out of 5]

I was prepared to write a snarky review, and in some ways the book deserves it. He was clearly angry with Tammy Faye and Roe Messner when he wrote it (perhaps deservedly so, although the letters he presents from his former wife really do reveal a woman who was suffering from complete exhaustion; still, there is no question that by their own lights Mrs. Bakker and Mr. Messner behaved badly). He also had not forgiven Jerry Falwell, Jimmy Swaggart, Jon Ankerberg and the rest of the gang who ran him out of town when PTL needed him most. Again, there are too many false notes in his recounting of his moments of forgiveness for them to ring true.

It is also apparent that he doesn't really understand what made PTL collapse. The one-night stand with Hahn is addressed with about the attention level it deserves (Bakker does not win gallantry awards for pinning some responsibility for it upon his then-wife's extra-marital activities), which is not very much. There are several chapters devoted to the scales falling from his eyes as he realizes what Jesus is actually saying in the Gospel passages that he used to justify the "Gospel of Prosperity" that he actually preached, but he forgets to mention that this is hardly the sunburst of the century and that people were pointing it out at the time.

Bakker does not come off well in terms of his intelligence. There is an "aw, shucks" persona that wears thin rather quickly, and when he reads for spiritual nourishment outside the Bible, it tends to be second-rate Christian self-help books. It only underlines the dangers that brought him to the pass he finds himself in at the beginning of the book (which really only covers the prison years in any detail. It would be nice to have his take on the earlier parts of his career). It is the same with Pat Robertson, Swaggart, Falwell, Ankerberg and the truly unspeakable Glenn Beck. Poorly educated men and women may be competent to use the Bible for their own personal faith, but they are asking for trouble when they go out to proclaim its meaning with the kind of background that Bakker had (and has, to judge by a quick look at the program he is currently running from Branson).

So what is good about this book? His recounting of the prison experience, which is, after all, the heart of the book. Bakker was plunged into an environment in which there was every chance he would not survive. And he did, with a certain amount of grace, and a genuine faith that sustained him throughout very painful events: the separation from his family (including his aged parents), the collapse of his marriage, the collapse of his ministry (which I think he correctly assesses as beneficial rather than harmful to his "Lifetime Partners" --- I watched the show throughout its run, and you knew what you were getting if you signed on), and the general terror of living inside a dangerous population. He seems to have wandered through it as a naif, and there were lots of other prisoners who genuinely looked out for him.

One final note. I saw a brief clip on Youtube yesterday of Bakker's "return" to his old studio at Heritage USA last winter for a special show. He looked thrilled, he looked happy, he looked vindicated --- and he looked as though given half a chance, he would do the whole thing all over again. Remember the title of your book, Mr. Bakker.

[Jacob Aitken · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was high quality writing. I know it seems counter-intuitive, juxtaposing convicted televangelists with good literature, but it’s true. He tells his story of when Praise the Lord (PTL) began to fall. Regardless of his theology--which he admits was “wrong”--the roots of his fall have little to do with money. Indeed, it’s hard to know exactly what the federal counts were (his criminal acts pale in comparison to the Clinton Foundation).

The story of his fall involves a woman, Jessica Hahn. Bakker and Tammy Faye were having problems and Bakker, foolishly following the advice of a friend, met Hahn in her hotel room. He kept it secret for seven years, and when it exploded, that’s when PTL’s shady dealings came to light.

Tammye Faye forgave him, to her credit. But as the Charlotte Observer threatened to expose Bakker--stuff happened. The narrative is hard to follow at that point. By fornicating with Hahn, Bakker didn’t actually break any laws, so it’s hard to see just how the fraud and the adultery connect.

But PTL’s accounting came to light, which led to a 45 year conviction. Bakker then tells an amazing story of life in prison and how God had to heal all the baggage. Bakker notes that before prison he never read the bible all the way through. Towards the end of prison he was reading it 16 hours a day.

Should Reformed people read this book? Why not? While our temptations aren’t the same as those from the Assemblies of God. Still, it warns of “getting too big for yourself” (his Heritage USA project became an uncontrollable monster towards the end) and the dangers of the Scarlet Woman.

It also tells of Tammy Faye’s divorcing him. That might seem justified given his earlier adultery, but she was already sleeping with his best friend (who then divorced his wife to marry her). Furthermore, it is grim snapshot of American religious life in the 1980s.

[Fiona · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read this book a long time ago. It was a surprising read.
I later heard him speak in person. Also, quite surprising.
I don’t remember a lot about the writing style but the parts when he was in prison and realised that his beliefs were wrong and he read his Bible, and saw the truth were very good.

[Cyndi Beane-Henry · Rating 1 out of 5]

When Bakker was accused and convicted, back in the day, I was one of a few who actually believed in him. Even though my parents lost thousands of dollars to his PTL program and Heritage USA, where they purchased life-long memberships, to this day they continue to support him.


So, when my parents offered to loan me this book, I was eager to read it. Before cracking it open, I continued to stand behind the man who admitted openly his mistakes.


However, after reading Bakker's "I Was Wrong", I am left with the feeling I used to get when my children [who are all in their late twenties and into their mid-thirties now] used to confess to doing something wrong when they were little, just to tag on at the end a little "...but...." to the confession.


Oh, yes, Bakker admits to his many mistakes, but has to add to each confessive moment a little "but" whereby he actually transfers the blame to another.


Admitting your guilt in my eyes will show me what kind of a man or woman you really are. But dragging someone else into the blame game.... well it only demeans you to me.


Accept your faults, confess your errors, and then move forward. Forgive those who have erred against you, and leave it all in the past.


Unfortunately, coming to terms with your guilt should not include making a fistful of money by dragging names through the mud with your own.


I give this book One Star and my Thumbs Down Award.


Don't waste your money on purchasing this book should you feel compelled to read it. Borrow it from your library. I recommend that you not waste your time in reading it altogether.

****DISCLOSURE: This book was a personal loan and was not under obligation for review.

[Della Tingle · Rating 4 out of 5]

Wowie! Wow! Wow! This book took me forever to get through. Over 600 pages, at times redundant, at times touching, and one definite laugh out loud moment left me feeling, overall, sorry for all that Jim Bakker endured. He always expressed his innocence. Even though the book is titled I Was Wrong, this, in no way, is an admission of guilt pertaining to the crimes for which Jim Bakker was imprisoned. Was he guilty? Prior to reading this book, I would have given an emphatic yes. Now, I don’t know, but it seems as if Jim Bakker was not guilty of fraudulent activity, or if he was, it was unknowingly and unintentional. I suppose the bottom line is that it is not my place to judge anyway. Whatever sins Jim Bakker has committed are between him and the Lord. I know I have committed billions myself.

Bakker does admit to realizing he was wrong in what he was teaching. “God does not promise that we will all be rich and prosperous, as I once preached. When I really studied the Bible while in prison, it became clear to me that not one man or woman—-not even prophets of God—-led a life without pain. God does promise that He will never leave us or forsake us, no matter what trial or pain we must go through…whether it be loss of reputation, loss of position or power, financial calamity, addiction, separation, divorce, or imprisonment” (xiii).

“In the darkest moments of my life, God was there, even when I thought He had abandoned me. And I know that if God did not leave me in my time of trouble, He will not leave you when you walk through your deepest valleys” (xv).

“No matter how dark your day might be, you can make it, because God loves you. He really does” (xv).

“No matter how many beautiful rabbits you may have, one skunk can leave a lasting impression” (158).

This is just interesting to me: Orange and grapefruit juices “actually change the acid content in the person’s body who is trying to quit cigarettes…It decreases the rate of nicotine excretion and lessens the withdrawal effects” (215).

“Be nice to yourself. You are the best ‘you’ in existence” (219).

“Your self-image controls you. Everything you do—-your actions, feelings, and behavior patterns—-is consistent with the image you hold of yourself. If you think you are shy, you will act shy. If you see yourself as a smoker, you will be a smoker. Your life will always move in the direction of your strongest thoughts” (219-220).

“What happens in the mind, will happen in time” (220). ~Mike Murdock

“You can only move away from a bad thought by deliberately moving toward a good one” (220).

“It isn’t important what you do for yourself, because that will die with you. But what you do for others will live on afterward” (282).

Bakker refers several times to God Meant It for Good by Dr. R. T. Kendall. This is from that book: “Are you suffering right now because somebody has said something about you that is not very nice? Has somebody done something to you that is not very kind? Do you yearn for the moment of vengeance, for the moment when everybody will see the truth? Of course you do. But if you can’t keep quiet about it, and you begin instead to act as a busybody, trying to protect yourself and your self-esteem, God will back off from the whole situation. He will let you handle it, and you will lose the war. The wisest thing you can ever do when mistreated is to be quiet about it.” I love this!!! Also from Dr. Kendall: “Another sign that God is working in your situation is ‘when someone pleads your case (and knows all the facts) without your opening your mouth’” (346). More from Kendall: “It is the unforgiving spirit that wants to let the world know our own hurt. Love hides a multitude of sins. It is hate that wants to let the cat out of the bag. Hate wants everybody to know we have been hurt: ‘Here’s what so and so did to me’” (346-347). Yep, Kendall again: “When we really forgive another person, we want them to feel good” (347). I have added Dr. Kendall’s book to my Want to Read list!

I laughed out loud when I read page 356! Bakker’s grandson, James, when visiting at the prison said, “Paw-Paw Jim has a big house!” To which Bakker replied, “No, Paw-Paw Jim is in the big house!” 🤪🤪

“Everyone is battling with something in their lives” (434).

“I had accepted Jesus as my Savior and with my lips I had called Him ‘Lord,’ but in my heart and lifestyle, I now realized that He was not the Lord of my life; I was…I had given my life to Him, but I was still in control of it” (543).

I am glad I read this book. Now I want to research Jim Bakker’s life after the publication of this book which was almost 25 years ago.

[Josiah Huffman · Rating 4 out of 5]

I realize that Jim was not guilty of any crime against the law. He realized he did have his heart w his leaders in the wrong place. He stopped praying. He forsook time with his kids. Such a sad story. But God redeemed him.

[Jonathan Greer · Rating 2 out of 5]

I am absolutely fascinated by the rise and substantial fall of the Bakkers and the PTL network and wanted to read this doorstop of a book which tells Jim's side of the story. Apparently, Jim either didn't have an effective editor, because the book is extremely overlong with constant repetition, rambling, confusing and sometimes conflicting timelines, a never-ending litany of letters received by Bakker while he was in jail, and an eye-rolling amount of name dropping. The book deals mostly with Jim Bakker's time in jail and it is astounding that throughout, he seems absolutely unaware of how self-centered and unreflective his writing becomes. I will note that he does have a surprising chapter in which he utilizes scripture to fully dismantle the Prosperity Gospel and confess that he was wrong to preach it. This was one of the few bright spots of an otherwise long winded and uninspired book that shows Bakker almost admitting being a con artist, but instead, just confessing that he had lost the meaning of Christianity while trying to build a media empire. Reading this book in context of his current ministry does make me wonder if he ever truly learned any lessons in the downfall of PTL. The writing is pretty awful throughout, but I gave it 2 stars because I found his takedown of the Prosperity Gospel to be a valuable moment of clarity.

[Tony · Rating 5 out of 5]

After reading this book some two or three years ago, I would really like to recommend it now more than ever for everyone who is a true believer, and who desires to master the act of commenting tactfully on issues that affects ministers of the gospel, and leaders in public offices.

Personally, I think mr Baker did a very good job in telling his own side of the story that took him from grace to grass.

Contrary to what most people who have read this book thinks or feels,"I Was Wrong" was not written, at least from my understanding as a content editor and publisher , as a book of confession, but rather as a book to help narrate the other side of a story that was erroneously mismanaged by both the public, and those in authority at a time.


For the public due to the lack of proper information regarding what was the real issue, and for those in authority at the time; only God knows the reason they managed the issue of mr Baker the way they did.

And for him to talk about and admit his personal failures and errors , especially from a supposed born again and preachers point of view, it shows that he was indeed sorry for his mistakes, and was on a mission to help others who were already treading on same path that led to his fall to make a 180% turn.

Above all, I think this book is a very good one and its content marches its title.

[Scott]

I followed Jim Bakker in the 1980s, mostly because of my parents who were Lifetime Partners. As a family, we visited Heritage USA nine times dating 1981-1988. I was born in 1974, thus, my discernment of preachers, was nonexistent. In the 1980s, I loved Jim Bakker, without knowing him.
The book is easy to read because Mr. Bakker is not a writer (and certainly a ghost writer was involved). This book confesses that his “health and wealth” gospel was wrong. But, it is self-serving as he denies all accusations from his abuses and “making merchandise” of the Gospel of Jesus Christ.
Since the PTL fiasco, Mr. Bakker has “reinvented” himself with another false gospel to fleece his sheep. He sells “survival” food and generators at exorbitant prices for the “tribulation”. He was sued by the AG of Missouri for promising Silver Solution was a cure for COVID 19, and was ordered restitution of $156,000. And as well, many scandals not touched in the book has since been proven. Read with caution, or not at all!

[Nancy Carr · Rating 1 out of 5]

The title of this book is misleading

I thought it was going to be about remorse over the money squandered in the PTL organization. Actually, Jim thought he would never preach again. He was wrong.

He truly is a Whiny man. The beginning of the book he whines about how he was taken advantage of, used, and swindled. The entire 2/3 of the book he complains he has no idea why he is in prison.

What an idiot. A big whiny fool.

The last. 1/3 he finally sees the light, but while he finds Jesus, he also shows no shame in admitting he has constantly asking other inmates to help him, protect him, acting like he is some kind of fragile flower. Man up!

Finally, there are thousands and thousands of people who were sexually abused as a child. We all do not Turn to whining about it and try to use that as a reason for being such a wuss

A big waste of my time. Don’t bother reading this garbage.

[James Tetley · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a powerful story....Whatever you make of the facts around this man's fall from fame. The story is a powerful message of journeying through darkness and brokenness into light and wholeness. Also his journey from lightweight prosperity theology into a God who meets us in the mess of our lives and calls us to lean and abide in Him in the hardest of times. A beautiful read in the age of the 'celebrity pastor' and of the danger of power and wealth. In this book Jim Bakker finds that the path to life comes through losing your life, carrying the cross and repentance, forgiveness and faith.

[K. · Rating 3 out of 5]

Not quite what I was expecting. Spent more time on his stint in prison than on the events leading up to it. It was a little overlong, but still a good story of sanctification.

[Elaine · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent book. Very revealing but wonderfully inspiring.

[Frank Sarabia · Rating 5 out of 5]

Good read... heart 💔 breaking for all involved ... I ❤️ Jim ...he paid the price for himself and ALOT of others.

[Jason Snelgrove · Rating 4 out of 5]

"I Was Wrong" by Jim Bakker is a memoir that delves into the life and spiritual journey of the author, offering a candid account of his past mistakes and the path to redemption. As I, Charles Stanley, approach this review, I am reminded of the powerful concepts of grace, forgiveness, and personal growth that are central to the Christian faith.

Bakker's memoir is an honest reflection on his past, acknowledging the mistakes he made and the consequences he faced. Throughout the book, he displays a genuine desire to make amends and learn from his past missteps. The vulnerability with which he shares his experiences is commendable and encourages readers to reflect on their own lives and the potential for transformation.

One of the notable strengths of "I Was Wrong" is the emphasis Bakker places on the power of God's grace. He highlights how his encounter with forgiveness and restoration has been pivotal in his personal journey. This theme resonates strongly with Christian readers, reminding us that no matter how far we have strayed or how grievous our sins, God's grace is sufficient to restore and renew.

Bakker's writing style is conversational, making the book accessible to a wide range of readers. He shares personal anecdotes and insights gained from his experiences, which add depth and authenticity to his narrative. While his story primarily focuses on his own journey, there are moments where he imparts wisdom and spiritual truths that readers can apply to their own lives.

However, it is important to note that the book is written from Bakker's perspective, and as such, it may not provide a comprehensive account of all the events surrounding his past controversies. While he expresses remorse for his actions, some readers may still seek a more balanced perspective or additional insight into the consequences of his actions.

Additionally, as a reader, one must approach this memoir with discernment, keeping in mind that redemption is a journey that extends beyond the pages of a book. While Bakker's story is an encouraging testament to God's transformative power, it is essential to remember that true repentance involves ongoing growth, accountability, and a commitment to living in alignment with God's principles.

“I Was Wrong" by Jim Bakker offers a personal narrative of redemption, highlighting the power of God's grace and the potential for personal transformation. Bakker's transparency and willingness to confront his past mistakes are admirable and serve as a reminder of the restorative nature of faith. While readers should approach the memoir with discernment, it provides an opportunity for self-reflection and a renewed appreciation for God's unfailing love and forgiveness.

[Laurie · Rating 4 out of 5]

I was surprised that I enjoyed this book more than I thought I would. It tells an interesting story of Jim Bakker's "fall from grace" as the Lifetime movie made about it dubbed it. (I also watched that movie on YouTube while I was reading this. People are right when they say you can find anything on the Internet). I vaguely remember of hearing of this scandal back in the 80's/90's, but followed it very little, as I didn't care much at all about PTL at the time and found all of that type of religion not my cup of tea at all. However, while I am not a "praise the Lord", "alleluia", "tongues speaking" type of Christian (heck, I don't even hold hands during the Lord's Prayer as so many Catholics have adopted that practice from the Protestants are doing), I did find this an interesting tale of one man's search for God in the midst of a very trouble-filled life. I would say the main theme in all of this is that unlike humanity, God will always love you, even if you have sinned, and wants to rescue the sinners. Think of The Prodigal Son. There are also pictures of him, his family and friends and Heritage USA. And, if you Google it, you can even find pictures of Heritage USA as it is now--sadly abandoned as the dream of a Christian resort failed after Jim Bakker was removed from the situation. One wonders what would've happened at Heritage USA if he had remained at the helm. But, I suspect he's not far wrong when he discovers that God was not interested in palaces and towers and wealth on earth. That message, to not forego spiritual treasures in the quest for storing up earthly treasures, which to me seems so blatantly obvious, was only discovered by Mr. Bakker, while he was in prison. But, he did finally discover it. And, so, perhaps he did find the real meaning of what Christianity is all about. I really enjoyed this read. Not bad for a book I got on a discard table at the library. Well done, Mr. Bakker.

[Stefanie Robinson · Rating 3 out of 5]

I was actually very shocked at the writing of this book. I thought it would be terrible, but it was actually well thought out and engaging. I remember Jim and Tammy being on television and my grandmother watching them, but she never sent in any money...thankfully. I do not care what this man says, there is no way he actually forgave any of the people in this book for their parts in anything, real or imagined. He admits to a lot of things, but also tries to spin it where other people were the actual ones at fault or that everything was one silly misunderstanding. It was interesting to read about the life and times of someone who I had recalled seeing on television, and some of the other television preachers I remember my grandmother watching. I think I bought this book for about a dollar at one of the thrift stores here in town, so it was worth what I paid for it.

[Don Keninitz · Rating 3 out of 5]

Bakker has written more of an apologetic than a confession. While he reveals some interesting details on the inner-workings of his failed ministry and the growing megalomania that gave rise to Heritage USA, most of the confessional aspects come across as lacking sincerity in favor of the expedience of going through the motions in an effort to redeem his reputation. Blame is squarely placed on the shoulders of people like Jerry Falwell, Jimmy Swaggart et al.

As of this writing, Bakker is back at it, doing the only thing he appears to know how to do well: TV evangelism. One can only hope he'll be more circumspect this time around.

[Kristy · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book. The title really reflects the heart of the book, which I appreciated. While Baker did take the time to tell his side of his story (which included a lot of injustice done to him), I didn't feel like he was trying to defend himself or justify his name; he was sharing his perspective. At the heart of the book is the journey God took him on through his experiences, both at the top and at rock bottom, and how God changed his thinking on some key matters of theology and faith. I wish all "health and wealth" Christians would read this book.

[Jaime · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is one of the most rewarding books I have ever read. It begins with the fall of a believer who lost his way, his suffering and then his redemption. Jim Bakker lost everything which this world calls important.He was betrayed by his wife and a business partner. In the end, he was left with just the Word of God. God reduced to him to nothing to rebuild him. I would encourage anyone who is going through difficult times to read this book.

[Child960801 · Rating 3 out of 5]

It felt like I was reading this book forever. I really enjoyed seeing how God worked in Jim Bakker's life. I pray that we are never so far from God that he has to send us to prison to get our attention. Reading about the moments in prison where God specially moved left me hopeful. How good is God that he even loves Jim Bakker.

This was mostly about his experience in prison. I would have liked more about his life before that.

[Marie · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book told a fascinating story... It's objectivity was tarnished quite a bit, as it was told exclusively from Jim Bakker's point of view. At first I felt that Mr. Bakker was quite the "whiner," but as the story unfolded I felt more and more pity for him and his family. This book was definitely one of failure, growth, and redemption.

[Adrienne · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this book. I remember seeing Jim and his wife, Tami, on TV when I was younger, so I had a curiosity to read this book. This autobiography seemed to be written from the heart, and he seemed to be very straightforward and honest. I loved this book, and it even made me want to write a letter to him! lol

[Mary · Rating 4 out of 5]

amazing book, filled with honesty and humility. very satisfying, even healing to hear someone in contemporary infamy admit his own mistakes and reveal his heart, and the transformation that led to his personal revival. wonderful.

[Barb · Rating 4 out of 5]

Almost stopped reading about half way through but kept on. He was whinning and I had a hard time with it. God did a real work in his life so it was worth reading the whole book. See is back on TV. Hope he stays out of trouble this time.

[Rick · Rating 3 out of 5]

The Baker/PTL debacle in his own words.

[Arlayne West]

This was a very good book. Every Christian ought to read it.

[Leah · Rating 5 out of 5]

a serious tell all !

a devoted man, wanting to do alot of good, the incorrect way

[Connie Davis · Rating 5 out of 5]

Jim was proven in high courts he was not guilty..the judge was fired from the courts..of course you never hear the real story..great read

[Esther · Rating 1 out of 5]

A very long read with lots of excuses for what went wrong. :(