Gospel-Centered Marriage

Gospel Centered

by Tim Chester

Most of what the Bible has to say about marriage does not come flagged up under a heading of marriage. Its not just the famous marriage passages that shape a gospel-centred marriage, but the whole Bible-story of Gods good creation, humanitys wicked rebellion and Gods gracious redemption.

To understand why marriages struggleas they all dowe need to understand the nature of our sin. To make marriages work, we need to understand how to apply the truth about God and His salvation.

This study guide on Christian marriage focuses on how the Gospel shapes the practical realities of everyday life. Author Tim Chester lifts the lid on many of the common pressure points that modern couples face, and shows how a proper understanding of the Gospel can shape a response.

Genres: Marriage, Christian, Christian Living, Relationships, Nonfiction, Theology

104 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2011

About the author

Dr Tim Chester is involved in The Crowded House, a church planting initiative in Sheffield, UK. He was previously Research & Policy Director for Tearfund UK, and has been published widely on prayer, mission, social issues and theology. He is married to Helen and has two daughters.

Reviews

[Jamie Hill · Rating 5 out of 5]

Anything by Tim Chester is so great and encouraging! Very thoughtful, edifying and convicting, I really appreciate his questions for thought at the end of each section. Would recommend!

[Peter Krol · Rating 4 out of 5]

Short. Clear. Foundational. Would reread anytime.

[G · Rating 5 out of 5]

I would recommend this book for any Christian couple approaching marriage, newly weds or married couples in the thick of it all (if you haven’t already). It is well composed and makes for an easy and engaging read. My spouse and I began reading it on our honeymoon. It is compiled into three main parts:
1) Gospel-Centred Marriage
2) Gospel-Centred Relationship
3) Gospel-Centred Sex
Each chapter has a principle, a “consider this” fictional story within the context of the chapter, biblical background passages, a “read all about it” explaining the principle in detail, questions for reflection, and ideas for action.

[Faith · Rating 4 out of 5]

A great reminder on what a Godly marriage should look like.

[Bill Forgeard · Rating 5 out of 5]

Hard to recommend a better book on Christian marriage. Biblical, practical, realistic, short, covers all the key topics, gospel-saturated. A good discussion book for couples or groups. Another good Tim Chester book.

[Joshua Bremerman · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a very good book on marriage, and it is particularly useful, in my opinion, for something like a small group study or pre-marital counseling. Especially strong on foundations and healthy relationship dynamics.

Two concerns for me:
1. While the headship/submission paradigm was not grounded in this, some of the language sounded awfully close to eternal functional subordination in the Trinity, and I think they could have clarified some things better in this regard.
2. The small chapters worked really well in the first two sections, but not as well in the third section on sex and physical intimacy. I think the choppy style in that section felt out of place, and it also made the topic feel dragged out a bit.

I would still recommend this for small group discussions, a marriage refresher, or premarital (with guidance). I think it could/should spark a lot of good discussions.

[Josh Holloway · Rating 4 out of 5]

A lot of helpful questions. Very clearly written. Some of the case study examples felt a bit cliche, but i guess this is fair enough as Chester is trying to construct examples that anyone could relate to. The chapters are very short - this works very well in the middle section on Gospel-centred relationships where he picks out one aspect of healthy relationships, explains and offers some thought provoking questions. This works less well, I felt, on the first section which in particular deals with questions about gender roles - it just felt as though these topics would require a higher word count to deal with in a more fulfilling way. However even in this section Chester's questions were thought provoking and helpful, which seems to be his primary aim.

[Rohan · Rating 4 out of 5]

Similar to his "You Can Change" book, but in the sphere of marriage. Helpfully short, but with lots of wisdom.

Some quotes:

Purpose of your marriage is companionship and partnership in mission. (you can’t learn to “love” if you are on your own)
Your marriage is to demonstrate that it’s good to live under God’s reign. To show goodness/freedom of God’s rule.

Daily thoughtfulness matters more than grand gestures.

Conflict begins when my selfish desires are denied by my spouse. Reconciliation begins when my selfish desires are denied by me. To throw away my sinful desires (remembering that God is GOOD, GRACIOUS, GREAT & GLORIOUS)

[Emily Annabelle · Rating 3 out of 5]

Like every relationship book, this book had some good advice and some straight up terrible advice. It was an interesting read and I enjoyed thinking through some of the arguments in this book. However, it makes a number of assertions without backing them up, and makes little reference to the biblical case for the arguments. The advice is quite conservative, to the point where it could be thought to be legalistic. It also often makes sweeping generalisations although thankfully is usually self aware of this.

[Caleb Walker · Rating 5 out of 5]

First book I’ve read by Chester, but I really enjoyed it. Its strength is in painting an inspiring and exciting view of marriage while also destroying the idolatry possible in it. He warns husbands against a flavor of serving/leading that craves the wife’s worship. This can be in his work, chores, speech, especially in sex, publicly, athletically, you name it. It is natural and good to desire respect and love, but untethered from reality, a husband’s need to be needed quickly seeks to replace God in her life. Clear thinking from a biblically saturated mind.

[Meghan · Rating 4 out of 5]

I thoroughly enjoyed the format of this book. my fiance and I were going through this with our officiant and his wife for marriage counseling/small group. I think this books breaks down the pitfalls, blessings, challenges, and new adventures in a marriage. I still struggle with some ideas within Christian marriage as a whole, but I think this book helps me figure out where I stand, where my fiance stands, and overall just helps us shape our foundation of marriage. I would recommend!!

[Jasmine · Rating 4 out of 5]

A pretty solid resource for thinking about marriage, whether preparing for one, or already in one I think. This book is fairly short and sweet - each chapter is only about a couple pages long, with more focus on practical application. I read this on my own, so not sure how it would work in a couple or group context, but there are certainly a few good chapters that I would like to share and discuss with my significant other in more detail.

[Sara Gabriel · Rating 5 out of 5]

Gracias a Dios por libros como estos que en palabras tan sencillas permiten que entendamos mejor las verdades eternas. Qué gran regalo es el matrimonio y cuán grande es el daño que podemos hacer si no le damos el valor que Dios mismo le ha otorgado en este lado del cielo y la gran imagen a la que nos apunta en la vida venidera 💜

[Byron Flores · Rating 4 out of 5]

Este libro basado en el evangelio es bueno y práctico, ofreciendo reflexiones útiles para el día a día. Sin embargo, no logra alcanzar la profundidad o el impacto de la obra original de la serie, a la cual debe su existencia. Es un aporte decente, pero se siente más como una ampliación que como un pilar. Si buscas un material introductorio o un buen repaso, puede servir.

[Andi Dina · Rating 5 out of 5]

A book that I recommend to all my married and engaged friends.

A very good book with great insights. Easy to read and motivating to apply the principles. A lot of take away for me after 13 years of marriage.
The chapters about sex and Marriage is not forever were a highlight.

[Sarah · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this book - it is exactly as others describe it. Solid, practical, but not TOO prescriptive. Only missed the last star because of some stereotypes about women and sex that are not AWFUL but perhaps not helpful.

[Bliss · Rating 5 out of 5]

A good one. I don’t entirely agree with every statement, but this book does approach marriage from a gospel centered perspective with respect to both people. We read through it together for premarital counseling.

[Isabella Wheeler · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of the few books on the function, purpose, and content of marriage that I actually trust. Solid and comprehensive in content, but concise in language and thought. Listened to the audiobook, but getting the paper copy for further reflection.

[Madison · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent, explains what marriage is very well and tempers your expectations.

[Reagan Vernon · Rating 4 out of 5]

Recommended to my fellow young married couples :) Lots of good guidance by Tim Chester

[Patrick Porras · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good primer for further discussion. Would be helpful for working through with a couple in counseling who lack a basic Biblical understanding of marriage.

[Jonathan Suggs · Rating 4 out of 5]

Short and solid!

[Brenda · Rating 4 out of 5]

Solid, worthwhile study. I think it would be a great tune-up for any Christian marriage.

[Mark A Powell · Rating 4 out of 5]

Chester’s book is a solid, though surface-level, introduction to a variety of issues concerning the nature and realities of marriage. The formatting makes it more ideal for a small group study than for individual reading. (The British jargon isn’t too thick but does require occasional ‘translation’ to American.) There are many practical tips that help bridge the gap between merely reading and actually doing, and refreshing reminders of the need for God’s grace in any marriage.

[Whitney · Rating 5 out of 5]

It's amazing how much conversation a small, straightforward book can stimulate. The chapters are short, but challenging, and the discussion questions really helped us flesh out the concepts of the book and talk about how to apply them to our relationship. I'm recommending this book to my married and engaged friends.

[Daniel · Rating 5 out of 5]

Enjoyed this book a lot! Concise, practical overview of many of the key truths that point us away from selfishness to truly showing selfless love to our spouse. I dog-eared something like 10% of the book to revisit again soon!

[Ben Connelly · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good - brief - more a workbook than a book. Great advice throughout, but would love to see Chester play these concepts out further.

[Joey Roper · Rating 3 out of 5]

I read through this book as a possible premarital book to use. There are many good, challemNging, and convicting truths in this book. Will be reading through it once again with my wife.

[Esther · Rating 4 out of 5]

A slim book which sparks hours of useful discussion. My fiancé and I really enjoyed using this as a springboard to prepare for marriage and we will no doubt refer back to it in years to come.

[Robbie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Simple, and very deep. Very helpful practically as well.