I Don't Want To, I Don't Feel Like It: How Resistance Controls Your Life and What to Do About It by Huber, Cheri, Narayanan, Ashwini(May 1, 2013) Paperback

by Cheri Huber

Employing the tenets of Zen Buddhist awareness practice, the book provides numerous exercises and self-help tools for working through problems with resistance, revealing how resistance operates in everyday life and guiding readers to consider how they can be free of it. The teachings in this book show how to recognize resistance in its many forms, not take it personally, and be free of its control. The platform is that the voice of resistance—thoughts such as I'll do it later —is not personal; everyone has it. Instead, it is the voice of a survival system that can take people from commitment to inaction in a matter of seconds. Then, self-hating voices level internal accusations for not having followed through, including thoughts of failure, shame, and lack of self-discipline.

Genres: Self Help, Buddhism, Nonfiction, Psychology, Mental Health

Paperback

First published May 1, 2013

About the author

Cheri Huber, author of 20 books, has been a student and teacher of Zen for over 35 years. In 1983, Cheri founded the Mountain View Zen Center, and in 1987 she founded the Zen Monastery Peace Center near Murphys, California. She and the monks at the Monastery conduct workshops and retreats at these centers, other places around the U.S., and internationally.

In 1997, Cheri founded Living Compassion, a nonprofit organization dedicated to peace and service. Living Compassion’s primary work is the Africa Vulnerable Children Project, based in Zambia, where for over a decade they have been working with the people of Kantolomba, beginning the process of turning a slum of 11,000 people into a self-sustaining community.

Cheri also has a weekly Internet based radio show.

Reviews

[Cleo · Rating 4 out of 5]

A book filled with powerful insights about how we get confused between the authentic being and the resistance that comes from conditioned mind. The marketing for this book can be misleading, though. It's not a self-help or self-improvement manual -- it's a spiritual text for readers who are ready and willing for a deep level of practice. For those seeking a more nuts-and-bolts guide to keeping commitments like exercise, meditation, diets, etc., I would recommend also reading Making a Change For Good. These books together would pack quite a punch.

[Nick Imrie · Rating 2 out of 5]

What an odd little book. It's a slim volume, but I was surprised to open it up and find that it's all in a large and childish font (one step up from comic sans). It's still good despite that, it just seems a strange aesthetic choice.

Most of the book is taken up discussing the reasons and ways that people feel resistance to doing things that they think they want. You know: you want to stick to that diet, do that final push-up, write that novel, but for some reason you never seem to quite find the time or the energy for it. Well, according to Cheri Huber, it's all down to the ego. The ego has a definition of who you are and fears that changing, so any effort you make to change is met with an equal effort from your ego to prevent you. Who knows, maybe my distaste for the childish font is just my ego trying to stop me from picking up useful tips to change from the book.

Towards the end there is a 30 day plan to help you overcome your resistance, although I didn't try it, it looks frustrating (but maybe that's just my ego speaking?). It includes assignments like: for the next 48 hours, practise acceptance. What does it feel like to be present to what is unfolding without feeling the need to control, alter, or fix in anyway?
Dude, if I knew how to just accept everything and never feel the need to fix things then I wouldn't have needed to buy this book to fix my procrastination!

[Reedy · Rating 3 out of 5]

i'm between three and four stars for this book. i take any self-help book i read with a grain of salt and so i did with this one. there were a few copyediting errors, which always tend to snag my attention. some of the core issues seemed a bit convoluted at times, a bit hard to grasp. on the other hand, there were many moments of good insights and the whole book centers around changing your perspective. for example, when you try something and you fail, you tend to dwell on why you failed, which often leads to a shame spiral and you end up feeling hopeless, helpless, and miserable. instead of asking "why?" this book proposes, ask "how?" just look at the things that happened that prevented you from succeeding. this simple shift in perspective is more about observation and helps keep you away from the judgements and self-hate that tend to arise when you focus on "why?"

overall, i liked this book. i will probably return to it in future to emphasize the points that really struck home for me. though some parts of the book failed to resonate for me, i think there are some golden moments within, some things i hope to remember as i evolve into who i want to be.

[Virve Fredman · Rating 4 out of 5]

Tykkään Cheri Huberin kirjoista ja tämä oli jälleen mieltä herättelevä sekä loistavia ajatuksia antava – vai pitäisikö sanoa, että ennemminkin auttoi jälleen näkemään, miksi ne ajatukset ovat jälleen se ongelma.

Kuten useimmat muutkin Huberin kirjat, on tämäkin painettu käsinkirjoitettuna, jotta lukija ottaisi enemmän aikaa tekstin lukemiseen ja sen myötä toivottavasti myös sisäistäisi lukemansa paremmin. Kirja auttoi hyvin ymmärtämään nimensä mukaisia ajatuksia ja siitä, kuinka niistä pääsee yli.

Cheri Huber on yksi suosikkejani henkisyyteen liittyvissä kirjoissa ja suosittelen tätäkin kirjaa kaikille, joita henkinen hyvinvointi ja henkisyys kiinnostaa.

[Liz Norell · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was not my favorite of Cheri Huber's work. Resistance is something that show up in my life A LOT (as it does in the lives of many!), but I didn't find this offering to give me the degree of insight or depth that I found in "There Is Nothing Wrong With You." Still, this is a useful resource... just not as groundbreaking for me.

[C2015 · Rating 5 out of 5]

Seriously!! Four years to finish this book LOL. Well what does that tell you about how much I needed to read it! Too funny. Really really really good book. If you read the blurb and it rings a bell for you, I can’t recommend this book enough.

[Amanda · Rating 5 out of 5]

WOW. Such an eye opener book. I read mine from the library and i MUST get a copy! Love it!

[Lindzi · Rating 3 out of 5]

So hard to grasp for me... I need to re-read it.

[LemontreeLime · Rating 3 out of 5]

Worth reading. A good addition to the series.

[Andy]

Read one page per night. Moving, as in it helped move me from a place where I was stuck.

[Mandy Havert · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was a gift and intended to be helpful. It is basic in its approach and is focused on how resistance works