Two Whole Cakes: How to Stop Dieting and Learn to Love Your Body

by Lesley Kinzel

In the age of The Biggest Loser and the “war on obesity,” we’re pressured to conform to certain body standards at any cost. Sure, everyone should eat right and get exercise, but what if you do that and you still don’t fit into the clothes at the mall?

In Two Whole Cakes, Fatshionista extraordinaire Lesley Kinzel
tells stories, gives advice, and challenges stereotypes about being and feeling fat. Kinzel says no to diet fads and pills, shows by example how to stop hating your body, celebrates self-acceptance at any size, and urges you to finally accept the truth: your body is not a tragedy!

Lesley Kinzel, who co-founded the blog Fatshionista, is an online celebrity in the communities of size acceptance, fashion, and women’s issues. She has her own blog on body politics in the media, Two Whole Cakes, is an associate editor at xoJane, and has become the go-to fatty for all things fashion and pop culture.

Genres: Nonfiction, Feminism, Memoir, Self Help, Fat, Health, Fat Studies

160 pages, Paperback

First published April 10, 2012

Reviews

[Ellis · Rating 5 out of 5]

Yes. Just yes. If you, like me, have ever looked at a fat person & thought, "Why can't they just eat less?" you need to read this book. If you, like me, have ever looked in the mirror & thought, "Why am I so fat & gross?" you need to read this book. Will I look at a fat person ever again & wonder why they can't just lose some weight? No, I will not. Will I feel ashamed about the wobbly skin that's still around my middle from my pregnancy? No, I will not.

When I tell someone I've read this book, almost to a one, they have replied thus: "Oh, yeah, totally, of course some people are just fat. I get that. But there's this one person I know . . . " who is fat because they eat nothing but cake, or is fat because they are lazy slobs who deserve derision. I am no longer interested in hearing about the "one person you know" or even thinking about the "one person" I may know. Everyone I've ever looked with that derision, I am sorry for ever thinking it was my business to ponder your life or or your fat or your circumstances or your habits, because it's not.

[Anelis · Rating 3 out of 5]

I like Lesley. I always read her pieces at XOJane because every time without fault they are interesting, well written, and informative. In fact, she is the reason I found out about XOJane in the first place. She is one of those people who exist on the Internet (because, like, I live in Greece guys) but who with their presence have made me feel better about myself, and generally made me happier.

So yeah, when my favorite fat blogger publishes a book about body acceptance you bet your ass I'm going to support it.

And I do not only support it because of the author, but because we NEED more books like this in the culture we live in. We need positive messages that do not carry commercial and oppressive baggages (we have enough of those oppressing books thank you very much).

Two Whole Cakes was pretty close to what I expected. Lot's of personal experiences that will make your heart race -and may trigger some of your own-, a fun writing style, some feminist theory and body positivity to the max!!

As Lesley eloquently puts it "Your body is not a tragedy".

What I really liked that Lesley briefly mentions in the first chapters, but unfortunately doesn't expand upon, is that every time we hear about a fat person talking about body acceptance and happiness, we instantly distance ourselves, and devise some reason so as to make what they say inapplicable to us. "She's thinner than me so of course it's easy for her to advocate fat acceptance" or "she's fatter than me so she's given up/is desperate to see it that way" or "well yeah but she can do that random thing while I can't so what she says doesn't apply to me" and so on.

We constantly seek out excuses for us not to be happy because we are made to believe that we are inherently at fault for everything that is (what others define as) "wrong" with our body. I think this is why Leslie gives full disclosure in the beginning. Yes, she gives us the terribly dreaded NUMBERS, weight & height. Not only does she do that, but she also talks about her experiences while growing up and gaining weight, so we end up with a book that talks about body acceptance with experiences from bodies from size 16 to 26. I firmly believe that she does that in order to crush that default mechanism of "she wouldn't know, she's not as big as I am", "she's too fat, she doesn't know how it is for smaller fatties".
Thankfully she also talks a great deal about this constant sense of guilt, but to be honest this is a subject that needs to have it's own bibliography.

You don't have to be a fat woman to identify with some of Lesleys' experiences. We live in a fat shaming and body shaming world and I believe that most -if not all of us- have experienced guilt, internalized fat shaming and body shaming and harassment from friends, family and even strangers.



Now let us talk about what is wrong with Two Whole Cakes.


The main problem of this little book is that it lacks structure. It's more like a compilation of small articles and less like a coherent book (even though there has been some effort to short some of the stories chronologically, so as to be able to reference them later on). And while I really do enjoy Lesleys' writing and storytelling, it was hard for me to understand what she wants to talk about, and if she has a specific point in mind she wants to make (we jump from The Biggest Looser and the abusive Gillian Michaels to a story about an annoying classmate). Unfortunately this doesn't only happen from chapter to chapter, but also within some of the chapters themselves.

I feel that this is because she tries to talk about everything. Fat-acceptance, her own experiences, consumer culture, the dieting industry, fashion, eating, guilt, feminism and intersectional feminism, being harassed etc, which is a tough, if not impossible thing to do in a 163-page book. It's a bit disorienting and since it doesn't focus on anything for more than 10-15 pages it's tough to even say who this book is for.

As an intersectional, body-positive & fat acceptance feminist I cannot say that this book offered me much, despite a pleasant time and a warm feeling while reading some parts that reminded me of my own experiences. I think it might be a good intro for someone who doesn't know about fat acceptance, but I'm not so certain that she gets the point across since some things aren't given the pages they need for a neewbie to understand what this is all about.

My other objection is about the title "How to stop...". As another reviewer mentioned, this is not a how-to book and not even a self-help one (well, at least with the conventional use of that genre). It's a pity because this might drive people off, people who need to read this, since how-to books are considered very low-brow, and I have to admit that I feel like it's "cheating" those who picked it up because they wanted a how-to book, because this is certainly not it! (well, maybe that cheating will prove to be for the best, but still...)


Lastly, let us talk about the tragedy that is the cover. Oh, the cover. I literally hate it. It's a complete hit & miss and in fact it's one of the reasons I delayed purchasing it for so long. I found it so off-putting that every time I went to bookdepository with the intention of buying it I ended up getting some other fat acceptance book, usually one with a happy cover like Hot Heavy Fierce Fat Girls on Life Love Fashion. I know it's a silly thing to say, but I couldn't bring myself to buy a book with two sad and badly decorated space-cakes on the cover. Seriously, have you seen the white one? Look closely. It looks like it's been licked by an alien. Creepy shiny lumps of a strange white thing with a sad little biscuit on top. And don't even get me started on the brown one because I will get all 2girls1cup on you and it will be bad for everyone.

Maybe I am a perfectionist, but if you're going to put cakes on the cover of a book, better choose some good looking ones, and place them in a background that doesn't resemble the night sky. It's looking seriously depressing and it's a fat acceptance book for crying out loud. It should have a bright happy cover that reflects the content and the beautiful ideas of self love it expresses. It's not like there's a shortage of beautiful cakes with bright colors and nice minimal decorations.

-You see that I am kind enough to not mention the terrible gradient and font of the title...Oh wait, I just did!

[Morgan · Rating 5 out of 5]

I feel like the whole book can be summed up by Lesley's motto: "Your body is not a tragedy". I was pretty familiar with Lesley's work from her blog and XOJane so a lot of the book was familiar territory. But for people not as familiar with her work, it's a great primer on how to accept all bodies. Even with the knowledge of some of the stories (like the titular Two Whole Cakes episode) it was still a really fun, great read. I got through the whole book in one day, if that gives any idea how much I liked it.

[Julia · Rating 2 out of 5]

Maybe my expectations for this book were too high, but the lack of narrative arc and lack of chapter/section divisions didn't work for me. The writing, of course, is amazing (if somewhat lacking in the snark level I've come to love from Lesley's blogging). It's just a little too disjointed and unfocused as a book for me.

[Beth · Rating 4 out of 5]

There was one thing that I did not like about this book, and while I feel it’s a little bit inappropriate to open a four star review with that sentence, I feel it needs to be done as my issue is with the title. Well, I suppose rather with the subtitle: “How to stop dieting and love your body.” This is not a how-to book, in any sense. I suppose the title might be for marketing purposes, although it seems strange that it has such an upbeat, self-helpy title, considering that it is even put out by “Feminist Press of CUNY.” Even if it were called “How *I* stopped dieting and learned to love my body,” or “one woman’s journey” (wow, that sounds a little hokey, probably why I’m not in the publishing business). Either way, I think it’s slightly misleading as to the content.

So what is the content? It’s essentially an awesome manifesto about fat, and how there’s nothing wrong with it, and how other people’s fat is none of your business anyways. The amazing thing about this book is that at no point did I feel alienated as a “thinner” (if slightly overweight) person. This is, in fact, one of the reasons I feel like it’s not just a self-help book; women are judgmental of ourselves and each other, and I think every woman would benefit from this book to be kinder to both herself as well as her peers of every shape and size. Kinzel also has such fresh insight on dieting – I’d read other books such as “Lessons from the fat-o-sphere” that delve into the issues of how dieting doesn’t work, but Kinzel herself details some of the specific ways that her own body essentially fought against her for her own dieting. A really enlightening, quick read.

[Chris · Rating 4 out of 5]

I would give it 5 stars for the concept, but am only give 4 because there was a lot of redundancy in the writing. That aside, the basic concept of the book is that women (particularly) are conditioned from an early age to hyperfocus on the appearance of our bodies not only to the distraction of the function of our bodies but to the detriment of our social and emotional health as well. Why do we not appreciate the bodies we have for all they enable us to do, rather than (the vast majority of us) being constantly aware of how our bodies (and therefore our selves) are getting in our way of everything from being happy to being loved to deserving respect. One of the concepts that will stick with me is that women have no OBLIGATION to be beautiful. Sure, the concept of beautiful at any size is nice, but ultimately beauty is but one of the many characteristics of people, and should not be the first, only, or necessary criterion by which a woman is judged. We are all worthy and deserve respect by the mere fact of our existence. Sadly, society does not reflect this.

[Alex Templeton · Rating 3 out of 5]

Having recently been spending more time than usual considering my weight for reasons legitimate (potential future health complications) and not-so-legitimate (nasty comment made to me about it), this book came along at the perfect time. The book is author Lesley Kinzel’s personal reflections on growing up and living today as a fat woman, as well as her thoughts on how ridiculous and unjustified the whole fear of fat is in our culture. (This thought was captured in her title, which makes reference to the idea that people think fat people will sit down and inhale two whole cakes at a sitting--you know, because that’s what they do.) I wouldn’t say any of her writing was revolutionary for me personally, but then, I have a pretty highly developed feminist consciousness. Reading this book was in many ways a relief; it reaffirmed just why I should not spend hours and hours obsessing over how I look. I would definitely recommend it to women young and old who are suffering due to our society’s psycho ideas about what is acceptable (as Kinzel writes, “Your body is not a tragedy”), and will likely procure a copy for use with students in my someday-women’s-issues discussion group.

[Lisa Kerr · Rating 1 out of 5]

I really didn't like this book, which is funny because I like Lesley's articles on xoJane. This was actually a manual on how to get made fun of and how to stand out...in a bad way. I had to stop reading.

[Emily]

It was interesting to read something that was so long that lacked any breaks, but I think it worked. Topics flowed into one another nicely.

[Katrina · Rating 4 out of 5]

I appreciate that the author didn't just talk about what fat people can do to love themselves but more so shared the message that "Everyone deserves respect and justice no matter what they look like" and that you have every right to be happy with yourself on your terms with no need to apologize for your happiness to anyone.

[Corrie Wessels · Rating 1 out of 5]

I was recommended this book by a colleague. It just didn’t hit home for me. Some parts I could relate to, and appreciate, and the overall message to love your body no matter it’s shape or size is great, but there were such strong undertones of anger and almost victim mentality that I just couldn’t get into it. It felt repetitive like a poorly thought out debate. Not for me.

[LibraryKath · Rating 4 out of 5]

An absolute delight, with plenty of food for thought and a good chuckle or three along the way. Consistent with Lesley's earlier writing online.

Clear, palatable and no bullshit, Lesley smashes the dominant paradigm with this very reader friendly book.

[Marisa · Rating 2 out of 5]

How disappointing. Well written, but it's a memoir. The cover says "how to stop dieting and learn to live your body"... I don't even have an idea of how Kinzel did this, less alone take anything from her anecdotes to apply in my life.

[Stacy · Rating 5 out of 5]

I can already tell I'm in love with this book and I'm only a few pages in. Read it!!

[Schenley · Rating 2 out of 5]

Kinzel makes some valid points and I was on her team until she went after Michelle Obama. She crossed the line going after Mrs. Obama and her Let's Move initiative.

[Ellen · Rating 2 out of 5]

Repeatitious diatribe about learning to be comfortable in a large body.

[Cyndi · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed Kinzel's blog when it was active, but she stopped updating it a couple of years ago. So I was glad to see her book. The book is a collection of articles but without chapter headings, so it all blends together. Each piece is well done but a bit of organization would have made it more readable. Sitting down to read it all together, it may not matter much, but it would be impossible to go back and find something specific.

Fatness as moral deficiency is something Kinzel is excellent at tearing to shreds. And something we as a society need to bury forever. Fat in America is all about blame and the story of the stoic individual. Because if we just Tried Harder we would all be pretty (which means petite).

The book is short so go ahead and read it to get Kinzel's take on this subject, rather than my trying to distill it. If you are fat or close to someone who is, go read this book. If you're not fat but you know how to fix people who are, definitely go read this book. (And if you don't fit either of these categories, read it anyway.)

[Renaissancecat22 · Rating 3 out of 5]

I thought there were generally a lot of good ideas in this book and it's a good entry point into the fat acceptance movement with a little more social and political theory than your average "love yourself" book. Kinzel is a fairly compelling writer for an essayist even if the book could be more organized. I did think she lost a little steam at the end though I wasn't sure if it was because her writing was weaker when it was more personal and more like a memoir or because her particular feelings about her dieting, surgery, etc. seemed less tied to a strong argument. I didn't agree with everything here but I do think it's worth a read. Though if you're already well versed in the language and ideas of this movement, I don't think there will be much more for you here than her personal anecdotes.

[Jennifer · Rating 3 out of 5]

So, 3.5 stars and yes! This was a great book. More of a manifesto than a "how to" deal & occasionally she got a little off tangent in some of the stories, like the gallbladders...most of that story had no point to the moral, which was even with a severely restricted diet she only lost 4 pounds.
I loved this book not as a pro-day book, it love yourself, your shape, your size whatever it is. I loved that she pointed out that obesity isn't enemy, poor health is & poor health comes in all shapes & sizes.
I didn't mind no chapter breaks & for the most part I think she efficient made her points & certainly made me feel empowered by my body.
I loved the overall message is this book-whatever your body shape, don't spend your life regretting it & trying to alter the inalterable, accept yourself. Live your life.

[Elizabeth Marcus · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book describes much of my life as a fat woman, from being bullied, shamed, etc. as a child, sometimes to this day, to accepting and celebrating that my fat body and your thin body are the same, that one is not better than the other. That fat people have the right to expect clothing that fits us well, to be treated the same as thin people, whether walking down the street, going to the doctor, etc., that diets don't work, that the diet industry needs to die, basically, because it's killing people already. I heard of Lesley Kinzel through Jes Baker's books and Kinzel's book says it all for me, just reflects what I've been feeling forever.

[Carianne Carleo-Evangelist · Rating 3 out of 5]

Equal parts memoir, fat fashion and fat politics. Appreciate the efforts to reclaim “fat” vs some of the euphemisms. The author is a few years older than I am and we had some of the same cultural touch points.

[Alexa · Rating 5 out of 5]

this book is so good and high-key changed my life when i was like 18!

[Susie · Rating 3 out of 5]

I feel like this was less how-to and more a memoir. I’m not sure I learned anything surprising or new, but I’ve been battling body image and food my entire life.

[Ren · Rating 3 out of 5]

"...never underestimate a stubborn fat lady's desire for a collection of really strange skirts to motivate her to learn to make that one garment extremely well." (p19)

I'm not quite sure why, but this short book took me quite awhile to get through. The message of self-acceptance is good and she includes some stories from her past that illustrate her points, but I feel there was a lack of organization. There are no chapters; the book just flows from one topic/story to the next. So overall good, but not quite great. Worth a read though!

[Molly · Rating 5 out of 5]

Okay so. First thing that needs to be said: this book's subtitle ("How to Stop Dieting & etc...") is unnecessary and ridiculous. This book is in no way a how-to, being instead a collection of essays based on author/blogger Lesley Kinzel's experience living in a fat body, as well as a 101 intro on body acceptance and related fat politics. Second (shameful) thing that needs to be said: I almost didn't want to record this on my "read" list, because I felt like it might elicit certain questions that I didn't want to answer, or that my reading (as well as my hearty endorsement) of it might be wholly misconstrued. I'm not in the market for self-help, although this book is genre-labeled "self-help/women"; again, a troubling oversimplification given this book's definite sociological and political slant. I read this because Kinzel's body-positivity writing on sites like XOJane is often a breath of fresh air and understanding, and I wanted to read more from her. This is one I feel like everyone, fat or otherwise, who has experience with the issue of fatness and the specter of a culture that encourages weight loss as an admirable goal in and of itself, should read. As Kinzel and other body-positive writers inform us, acceptance of one's body and self can be essential steps on the road to having both a healthy body and a healthy mind- and indeed, "obese" bodies can also be healthy ones, regardless of the tendency of onlookers to pathologize them- but being fortunate enough to be healthy, or conventionally shaped, shouldn't be the benchmark by which we grant people dignity.

[Jenn · Rating 5 out of 5]

I enjoyed this short introduction to body positivity by Kinzel. I have followed her blog (also Two Whole Cakes) for a while now, and was excited to read this, especially after reading an excerpt in Bitch Magazine. Light but never fluffy, Kinzel is an excellent writer (must be those double-master degrees) with a gift for language that packs a wallop. I can't deny that a good part of my enjoyment derived from the fact that Kinzel and I share similar backgrounds and stories of growing up--she is, I believe, three years older than me, which means I spent a whole lot of my time going "Yes! I remember that!" I remember squeezing into the largest size in straight stores because there were no plus-size places yet. I remember the continual dieting--Jenny Craig, Weight Watchers, etc. I remember the social ostracizing, the eventual camaraderie with a group of fellow outcasts. I even remember the cultural markers, like Queen Latifah and Sassy. And, whether it is because of our similar backgrounds or another factor all together, I share Kinzel's desire to stand out, to be noticed, no matter how much negative attention that may bring. So, I quite enjoyed this on a personal level. It does well on a meta level too, though, I think. You may be a chubby middle-aged woman or a fat 16 year old boy, but Kinzel clearly explains the dangers inherent in our current obsession with obesity.

[Melody · Rating 4 out of 5]

Had some trouble getting into this because the first five or so sections are very disjointed. I know some of these 'chapters' were pulled from her blogging days and it shows. I would have appreciated some kind of format or at least titles for each section, because there were almost no smooth transitions in the first half of this book. It doesn't take away from the excellent content, but it does interrupt the flow.

The book seems to have more of a connected feel and a purpose to it towards the end. It becomes way more memoir than random blog posts about fat politics. Kinzel is a great writer and I guess I wanted more of her personal story with body positivity sprinkled in and less of the somewhat, hard-edge criticism of Michelle Obama. She went hard on the Let's Move campaign and only spent a couple paragraphs dissecting The Biggest Loser and other failed ways to lose weight (IE: Jenny Craig) and I honestly wanted to read more of the latter. More pop culture takedowns, more personal anecdotes, more funny stories and psychological explanations behind being fat and feeling fat. She has a good grasp on what it's like to be a woman with a marginalized body. 'Two Whole Cakes' is great, but I wanted it to be fucking perfect. I feel like once she finally got into her groove in this book it was over.

[Crystal · Rating 5 out of 5]

Anyone who follows me on Twitter or is my friend on Facebook knows I am a fan of Lesley Kinzel. So it's really no surprise then that I would love this book.

I want to time travel back to the first time I hated my body or decided I would be anorexic (I would last long enough to get a migraine from nit eating and then I'd binge, which would trigger a wave of self&body-hatred) and MAKE my younger self read this. I look back at pictures of my younger self and realize that I spent so much time hating a sweet kid.

Kinzel forcing herself into the biggest size uniform her Catholic high school had on offer. I relate so hard. In junior year of high school, I played tennis well enough to make the team. I was the fittest I've ever been-and I could barely squeeze into the biggest tennis skirt our uniform maker made. I hated that athletic body-the healthiest I've ever been--because I believed that healthy meant thin and I just wasn't trying hard enough.

Regardless of what you see in the mirror, there are a few lessons Lesley can teach you about accepting the body you have.

[Casey · Rating 4 out of 5]

I was reluctant to pick up this book because the subtitle "how to stop dieting" turned me off a bit - though I move in circles of the fat acceptance community, and I do believe that you should learn to love your body no matter what place it's at, I sometimes find in those circles disregard or even hostility towards those who DO choose to diet, for whatever personal reasons.

However, I was happy to find despite the subtitle that the Kinzel's book doesn't take that approach. It is really more of a memoir than a "how to" of anything, which I also liked.

I would recommend this book both to fat people like me who can nod along and feel understood (I actually felt like fistpumping at the line "I HAD TO SLAY A FUCKING DRAGON TO BUY THIS DRESS!"), as well as non-fat people who might benefit from more of an understanding of the experience of being fat.

I do, in fact, wish that everyone who is in the medical field would read this book.

[Raquel · Rating 4 out of 5]

A slim volume of big ideas. While the subtitle is misleading--very little space is devoted to exactly how to stop dieting and learn to love your body, although the author makes it clear that she has indeed done both--this book nonetheless makes a strong argument for why it's healthiest to ignore our image-obsessed culture, stop stigmatizing fat people, and instead just focus on being our best selves while standing up for your right to exist and be accepted right now exactly as you are. Lots of great "ah-ha" lines and moments. The book feels like part memoir and part manifesto. Kinzel is one of my favorite bloggers and she's got a wry, sassy, and intelligent writing style that makes this book a pleasure to read.

Resounding book takeaway: Your body is not a tragedy.

2021: Revisiting this book when I'm having cases of body blahs is truly helpful.