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The End of Normal: A Wife's Anguish, A Widow's New Life
A New York Times bestseller, the explosive and heartbreaking memoir from the widow of Mark Madoff and the daughter-in-law of Bernard Madoff
When the news of Bernard Madoff’s Ponzi scheme broke, no one was more shocked than the members of his own family. Before then, Madoff’s son, Mark, and daughter- in-law, Stephanie, had built an idyllic life. Yet, while Mark’s thriving business was entirely separate from his father’s now notorious fund, he and Stephanie found themselves in the eye of the storm—and grappling with their own sense of betrayal. Mark refused to see or speak to his parents, and on the second anniversary of his father’s arrest, he hanged himself.
Left to raise her children as a single mother, Stephanie tells the real story of her marriage to Mark, of being a part of the Madoff family, and of life for two years following her father-in-law’s arrest and incarceration. The End of Normal is a searing inside look at one of the most controversial stories of our time, and an extraordinary memoir of surviving personal tragedy amid public scandal.
When the news of Bernard Madoff’s Ponzi scheme broke, no one was more shocked than the members of his own family. Before then, Madoff’s son, Mark, and daughter- in-law, Stephanie, had built an idyllic life. Yet, while Mark’s thriving business was entirely separate from his father’s now notorious fund, he and Stephanie found themselves in the eye of the storm—and grappling with their own sense of betrayal. Mark refused to see or speak to his parents, and on the second anniversary of his father’s arrest, he hanged himself.
Left to raise her children as a single mother, Stephanie tells the real story of her marriage to Mark, of being a part of the Madoff family, and of life for two years following her father-in-law’s arrest and incarceration. The End of Normal is a searing inside look at one of the most controversial stories of our time, and an extraordinary memoir of surviving personal tragedy amid public scandal.
288 pages, Paperback
First published October 1, 2011
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November 11, 2013
This book can be summarized in one word: Ugh.
I really wanted to like it, and hear about her struggle and how she is building herself up from such a tragedy. I did read it in one day. Here is a summary:
Hi! My name is Stephanie Madoff Mack. I had to change my name to Mack because I was so ashamed to be named "Madoff" but if it sells books, I'll tack it back on.
I wasn't raised with a golden spoon in my mouth (unlike my husband)! Honest!
I worked at George magazine. And I worked at a fashion designer that gave me free clothes to wear while I dated my husband. I don't know what I want to be when I grow up.
We fell in love and fought all the time because he wouldn't commit to me. So we yelled a lot and then I guilt tripped him into marrying me. I didn't care about pretty dresses and things, but look at the cover of my book--it's a shot of me in my wedding gown, with my husband cut off on the side of the picture.
We had 2 kids together, but he liked his kids from his previous marriage better. And the son from his first marriage is a gold digger. And his ex wife is a meddler and is mean to me.
His parents were very nice, except I don't recall one nice thing they did, I only bring up every time they said something mean. And they weren't excited about my son being born. And they are the reason my husband is dead.
My husband knew nothing about what his father was doing. When the story broke, we yelled at each other all the time again. Once my accounts were frozen while I was shopping and my husband had to bring me hundreds of dollars in cash to pay for my purchases (oh poor me! How embarrassing!) People were mean to me and made mean phone calls. My brother-in-law has a mean girlfriend and he is mean to me too.
Then Mark tried to kill himself, but I really thought he was better, so I left him alone with my son while I took our daughter to Disneyworld and spent tons of money. And then he killed himself. And I'm mad that my babysitter took the baby (I left with my husband who was mentally unstable) to his ex-wife's house to tell her and her children (My husband's kids) the news before she brought the baby back to our other house in Nantucket where I hadn't shown up yet. That's mean.
And my brother-in-law and his girlfriend are writing a book too. I'm sure it will say mean things.
And I'm trying to get my life back together, and it's a struggle, because everyone is mean to me. And I still appear to be doing alright for myself (even though I had to give back that diamond necklace my mother-in-law sent me) because I am still living in New York City (not in a dump, like my mother-in-law had to look at) and I don't have a job. I am still "in school". But I bet this book will help the old wallet.
Like I said. Ugh.
I really wanted to like it, and hear about her struggle and how she is building herself up from such a tragedy. I did read it in one day. Here is a summary:
Hi! My name is Stephanie Madoff Mack. I had to change my name to Mack because I was so ashamed to be named "Madoff" but if it sells books, I'll tack it back on.
I wasn't raised with a golden spoon in my mouth (unlike my husband)! Honest!
I worked at George magazine. And I worked at a fashion designer that gave me free clothes to wear while I dated my husband. I don't know what I want to be when I grow up.
We fell in love and fought all the time because he wouldn't commit to me. So we yelled a lot and then I guilt tripped him into marrying me. I didn't care about pretty dresses and things, but look at the cover of my book--it's a shot of me in my wedding gown, with my husband cut off on the side of the picture.
We had 2 kids together, but he liked his kids from his previous marriage better. And the son from his first marriage is a gold digger. And his ex wife is a meddler and is mean to me.
His parents were very nice, except I don't recall one nice thing they did, I only bring up every time they said something mean. And they weren't excited about my son being born. And they are the reason my husband is dead.
My husband knew nothing about what his father was doing. When the story broke, we yelled at each other all the time again. Once my accounts were frozen while I was shopping and my husband had to bring me hundreds of dollars in cash to pay for my purchases (oh poor me! How embarrassing!) People were mean to me and made mean phone calls. My brother-in-law has a mean girlfriend and he is mean to me too.
Then Mark tried to kill himself, but I really thought he was better, so I left him alone with my son while I took our daughter to Disneyworld and spent tons of money. And then he killed himself. And I'm mad that my babysitter took the baby (I left with my husband who was mentally unstable) to his ex-wife's house to tell her and her children (My husband's kids) the news before she brought the baby back to our other house in Nantucket where I hadn't shown up yet. That's mean.
And my brother-in-law and his girlfriend are writing a book too. I'm sure it will say mean things.
And I'm trying to get my life back together, and it's a struggle, because everyone is mean to me. And I still appear to be doing alright for myself (even though I had to give back that diamond necklace my mother-in-law sent me) because I am still living in New York City (not in a dump, like my mother-in-law had to look at) and I don't have a job. I am still "in school". But I bet this book will help the old wallet.
Like I said. Ugh.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
October 30, 2011
When I first started reading this book I almost put it down. To think any of the Madoff's deserved sympathy from anyone when they destroyed so many other people's livelihoods was absurd. Reading about their fairy tale lives full of lavish, extravagances that they knew nothing other than was nauseating. But I put aside my initial judgmental feelings and anger and continued on. The truth of the matter is that Mark Madoff, Bernie's son, was innocent of any wrongdoing. But his life was torn down and ruined because of his Madoff name and killed himself because of that. He was a good person with morals and a heart and soul unlike his father. It took a lot of courage for his wife Stephanie to write this painful memoir to clear his name. Mark was not a part of the ponzi scheme Bernie cooked up to steal billions of dollars from people including family and friends. That was all Mark wanted people to know. Well, she succeeded in getting his message across and my heart goes out to her and her children for all that they have suffered and lost.
I am glad I read this book because it just goes to show how the media and society can ruin people's lives by falsely portraying them, making it nearly impossible for the truth to be known. The media and people in general are very quick to judge after a scandal before all the facts are known, jumping to conclusions seeking to blame anyone and everyone to make them pay for what they have done. Stephanie's memoir is evidence of that. Hopefully this will help change that and leave this for the legal system to decide.
Despite this book's flaws I couldn't put it down. It wasn't the best written book and you could tell some things were left out or felt missing. It jumped around and felt inconsistent. It is not going to win any grammar awards. But all of this pales in comparison to the magnitude of the story and the emotions it conjured up. You felt their frustrations and hearts breaking. It was a tragic story and there was no happy ending. You felt how hard Stephanie and Mark tried to get past it all, and get back to normal. But it proved to be "The End of Normal."
I am glad I read this book because it just goes to show how the media and society can ruin people's lives by falsely portraying them, making it nearly impossible for the truth to be known. The media and people in general are very quick to judge after a scandal before all the facts are known, jumping to conclusions seeking to blame anyone and everyone to make them pay for what they have done. Stephanie's memoir is evidence of that. Hopefully this will help change that and leave this for the legal system to decide.
Despite this book's flaws I couldn't put it down. It wasn't the best written book and you could tell some things were left out or felt missing. It jumped around and felt inconsistent. It is not going to win any grammar awards. But all of this pales in comparison to the magnitude of the story and the emotions it conjured up. You felt their frustrations and hearts breaking. It was a tragic story and there was no happy ending. You felt how hard Stephanie and Mark tried to get past it all, and get back to normal. But it proved to be "The End of Normal."
August 14, 2023
I went into this book knowing about the back story and scandal of the Madoff's and with the knowledge that the family was and still is extremely wealthy, so I was prepared to enter into this life of glamour and luxury and knew that things in it would probably seem ridiculous to a non-millionaire like me. I guess what intrigued me to read this was the idea of seeing inside the Madoff scandal through the eyes of the widow and the aftermath of Madoff's decision to end his life. What surprised me though was not the careless use of the money flying everywhere, but the fact that Mack did not focus on the scandal or the suicide at all. The memoir was focused on her and her loss of wealth, take the truth of who you are from the picture and I have a really hard time seeing the purpose behind this book besides the fact that you felt obliged to air your in-laws dirty laundry.
I might know now that Madoff's mother is a greedy, that his brother dates mean girls, and that his children were rude to you, but seriously what insight does that give to Mark Madoff's death? What insight does that share of the crimes going on in your family.
Macks memoir doesn't scream heartbreak, she's not the grieving widow, she's more the jilted bride who lost her meal card and had to write a book for some fast cash and throw the Madoff family as far under the bus as she could, even including the x-wife who had nothing to do with anything. Sounds harsh but that's exactly what I read on each page. There was a painful amount of whining and complaining about fights over how they would spend their next million, how he loved his kids from a previous marriage more than her, how his parents were mean to her and how embarrassed she was after the whole Madoff scandal broke and was unable to use her credit cards for huge shopping sprees. Even after the suicide we still hear all the complaining, the brothers girlfriend who is mean, the x-wife who is meddling, the mother who is a zombie and the horror, when Madoff's family (mainly his two oldest children) wanted some of his personal belongings and Mack wanted to keep them all for her own children.
What I missed through all this was the anguish or any emotion over losing her husband, the sorrow over what this family did to so many people. So instead of the reaction I thought I would feel (due to the suicide) my overall emotion reading through Mack's lamenting sort of resembled that sound you hear a trumpet make.......waaa-waaa-wahhhh.
I might know now that Madoff's mother is a greedy, that his brother dates mean girls, and that his children were rude to you, but seriously what insight does that give to Mark Madoff's death? What insight does that share of the crimes going on in your family.
Macks memoir doesn't scream heartbreak, she's not the grieving widow, she's more the jilted bride who lost her meal card and had to write a book for some fast cash and throw the Madoff family as far under the bus as she could, even including the x-wife who had nothing to do with anything. Sounds harsh but that's exactly what I read on each page. There was a painful amount of whining and complaining about fights over how they would spend their next million, how he loved his kids from a previous marriage more than her, how his parents were mean to her and how embarrassed she was after the whole Madoff scandal broke and was unable to use her credit cards for huge shopping sprees. Even after the suicide we still hear all the complaining, the brothers girlfriend who is mean, the x-wife who is meddling, the mother who is a zombie and the horror, when Madoff's family (mainly his two oldest children) wanted some of his personal belongings and Mack wanted to keep them all for her own children.
What I missed through all this was the anguish or any emotion over losing her husband, the sorrow over what this family did to so many people. So instead of the reaction I thought I would feel (due to the suicide) my overall emotion reading through Mack's lamenting sort of resembled that sound you hear a trumpet make.......waaa-waaa-wahhhh.
July 4, 2022
Audiobook….read by Stephanie Madoff
Mack
……6 hours and 36 minutes
An old story — The news of Bernie Madoff
Stephanie Madoff Mack - the ‘daughter-in-law’ of Bernie Madoff published this memoir in 2011.
This is a pretty self-absorbed memoir.
Although Stephanie sounded sincere in what she believed, she was immature, insensitive, lacking broader understanding -true realities about her husband Mark Madoff - and the family she married into.
There were problems from the start.
And when serious tragedy happened — directly affecting her husband—her responses were often detrimental (not intentionally malicious — just counterproductive).
After her husband committed suicide— Stephanie said she would never forgive Mark for taking his life and leaving his children. There were other judgmental doozers throughout as well.
People say a lot of things when they’re hurt, shocked, angry, and grieving…(Stephanie too),
but never once did she even contemplate the depths of chronic depression Mark was locked in.
She shared her sorrow for her children….
She shared anger at Mark…
but what she didn’t share was her deep grief of loss for Mark.
Her pettiness overshadowed basic humanity, and empathy of deep pain, unwavering suffering her husband was stuck in.
Stephanie’s complaining, and petty snappish behaviors were childish — again - not malicious— but a case of very immature ignorance.
I’m ‘guessing’, I am not the first person to say this book was fascinating in a train wreck way.
It was more fascinating to examine the ‘off-putting’ thought process idiosyncrasies from Stephanie, than the family spin-off- devastations from Bernie Madoff, itself.
Granted this book was written 11 years ago—but what stands out is that Stephanie had some growing up to do.
Flaws and all - in an odd way this audiobook commanded my attention.
It stimulated my empathy for the many different ways people are.
Mack
……6 hours and 36 minutes
An old story — The news of Bernie Madoff
Stephanie Madoff Mack - the ‘daughter-in-law’ of Bernie Madoff published this memoir in 2011.
This is a pretty self-absorbed memoir.
Although Stephanie sounded sincere in what she believed, she was immature, insensitive, lacking broader understanding -true realities about her husband Mark Madoff - and the family she married into.
There were problems from the start.
And when serious tragedy happened — directly affecting her husband—her responses were often detrimental (not intentionally malicious — just counterproductive).
After her husband committed suicide— Stephanie said she would never forgive Mark for taking his life and leaving his children. There were other judgmental doozers throughout as well.
People say a lot of things when they’re hurt, shocked, angry, and grieving…(Stephanie too),
but never once did she even contemplate the depths of chronic depression Mark was locked in.
She shared her sorrow for her children….
She shared anger at Mark…
but what she didn’t share was her deep grief of loss for Mark.
Her pettiness overshadowed basic humanity, and empathy of deep pain, unwavering suffering her husband was stuck in.
Stephanie’s complaining, and petty snappish behaviors were childish — again - not malicious— but a case of very immature ignorance.
I’m ‘guessing’, I am not the first person to say this book was fascinating in a train wreck way.
It was more fascinating to examine the ‘off-putting’ thought process idiosyncrasies from Stephanie, than the family spin-off- devastations from Bernie Madoff, itself.
Granted this book was written 11 years ago—but what stands out is that Stephanie had some growing up to do.
Flaws and all - in an odd way this audiobook commanded my attention.
It stimulated my empathy for the many different ways people are.
September 13, 2016
I wish I could give it zero stars. The author was married to Mark Madoff. Mark was the son of Bernie Madoff and Mark committed suicide 2 years after Bernie's scheme unraveled. Stephanie and Mark had been married for 6 years and had two children.
She has the gall to claim that Mark "was the greatest casualty" of his father's fraud. If only her editor had let her finish her sentence the way she wanted, it would have continued to read "and next to Mark, nobody suffered more than me." She spends the entire book explaining how she has suffered at the hands of everyone. Mark didn't want to marry her after 4 years together so she threw a fit, cried, and broke a bunch of their vases in the apartment. So he proposed. Mark didn't want to have kids (he had two teenagers with his first wife) and she commenced a 'campaign' to sway him. Campaign in this instance means 'bully'. She and Mark would fight constantly, and she would detail these fights and every so often she would say, "Our marriage was strong." "We were getting along so well." "We were thinking about a third child." Really? She sends ugly texts constantly. When Mark sends a text she doesn't like she smashes his iphone against the granite counter. She can't decide what career she wants so she goes to culinary school. But baking cakes is hard! Once she mixed up the sugar and salt and it was a bad day. Their apartment was 'unbearable' because the elevator didn't always work. So the solution was to buy a multi-million dollar soho loft which required "so much work, so much renovation". Poor thing. Ruth Madoff was dismissive of her and sometimes addressed her as Susan, the name of Mark's first wife. Bernie was sweet but superficial. Stephanie was absolutely vicious to the girlfriend of her brother-in-law Andy. Stephanie wanted to be nice to her (because she is such a nice person and that is her first instinct!) but Mark told her to be wary, and so she she soon noticed that the girl was trying too hard! After the girlfriend sent flowers to Ruth and signed the card as if it were from both girls, Stephanie attacked. She even tells the story of going to the florist to find out exactly what was ordered to be written on the card so that she can confront her with it! Oh, the indignities this poor girl has gone through: included in a thank-you gift without being asked. At one point she flies off the handle because her 4-year old daughter is being sued for $11,000 that Bernie and Ruth had given her. She actually complains that $11,000 is 'nothing' and 'not even half a years preschool tuition' and she couldn't 'be bothered with this shit anymore'. Oh, poor Stephanie. Stephanie's step-father had given Bernie $1 million to invest and she mentions it repeatedly, how unfair it was that Bernie would steal from family. What she does not dwell upon: the thousands of people who lost everything to the Madoffs. The 45 years that her husband enjoyed being a Madoff, living a lavish lifestyle. The yachts. The vacations. Tenerife. South of France. The three homes they still owned: a Soho loft, a Nantucket beach house "on a spectacular beachfront" and a Connecticut home. In summary: Stephanie is a brat. She is unpleasant and hostile but pretends to be sweet when dating Mark because "she wants him to feel she is sweet, and he hates confrontation". So she waits till they are married and then she is demanding. Her husband lost his business and his relationship with his parents. That is unfortunate. He did not lose everything, though. He did not lose his savings or their very valuable homes, or you would think more importantly, his wife or kids. They could still have lived very well and he could have found a new career path. So could she have, for that matter. Instead, he whined for two years, they fought for two years, and he killed himself. She is a deluded narcissist who should be ashamed that someday her children will grow up and read this book.
She has the gall to claim that Mark "was the greatest casualty" of his father's fraud. If only her editor had let her finish her sentence the way she wanted, it would have continued to read "and next to Mark, nobody suffered more than me." She spends the entire book explaining how she has suffered at the hands of everyone. Mark didn't want to marry her after 4 years together so she threw a fit, cried, and broke a bunch of their vases in the apartment. So he proposed. Mark didn't want to have kids (he had two teenagers with his first wife) and she commenced a 'campaign' to sway him. Campaign in this instance means 'bully'. She and Mark would fight constantly, and she would detail these fights and every so often she would say, "Our marriage was strong." "We were getting along so well." "We were thinking about a third child." Really? She sends ugly texts constantly. When Mark sends a text she doesn't like she smashes his iphone against the granite counter. She can't decide what career she wants so she goes to culinary school. But baking cakes is hard! Once she mixed up the sugar and salt and it was a bad day. Their apartment was 'unbearable' because the elevator didn't always work. So the solution was to buy a multi-million dollar soho loft which required "so much work, so much renovation". Poor thing. Ruth Madoff was dismissive of her and sometimes addressed her as Susan, the name of Mark's first wife. Bernie was sweet but superficial. Stephanie was absolutely vicious to the girlfriend of her brother-in-law Andy. Stephanie wanted to be nice to her (because she is such a nice person and that is her first instinct!) but Mark told her to be wary, and so she she soon noticed that the girl was trying too hard! After the girlfriend sent flowers to Ruth and signed the card as if it were from both girls, Stephanie attacked. She even tells the story of going to the florist to find out exactly what was ordered to be written on the card so that she can confront her with it! Oh, the indignities this poor girl has gone through: included in a thank-you gift without being asked. At one point she flies off the handle because her 4-year old daughter is being sued for $11,000 that Bernie and Ruth had given her. She actually complains that $11,000 is 'nothing' and 'not even half a years preschool tuition' and she couldn't 'be bothered with this shit anymore'. Oh, poor Stephanie. Stephanie's step-father had given Bernie $1 million to invest and she mentions it repeatedly, how unfair it was that Bernie would steal from family. What she does not dwell upon: the thousands of people who lost everything to the Madoffs. The 45 years that her husband enjoyed being a Madoff, living a lavish lifestyle. The yachts. The vacations. Tenerife. South of France. The three homes they still owned: a Soho loft, a Nantucket beach house "on a spectacular beachfront" and a Connecticut home. In summary: Stephanie is a brat. She is unpleasant and hostile but pretends to be sweet when dating Mark because "she wants him to feel she is sweet, and he hates confrontation". So she waits till they are married and then she is demanding. Her husband lost his business and his relationship with his parents. That is unfortunate. He did not lose everything, though. He did not lose his savings or their very valuable homes, or you would think more importantly, his wife or kids. They could still have lived very well and he could have found a new career path. So could she have, for that matter. Instead, he whined for two years, they fought for two years, and he killed himself. She is a deluded narcissist who should be ashamed that someday her children will grow up and read this book.
September 23, 2015
Holy guilty pleasure. This is definitely a quick read (under 24 hours around here) and very compelling and interesting. That is not to say I completely bought it.
The best lesson to be learned from this book is one of perspective. I'm not going to read Ruth's book, but I'm sure if I did she would have a compelling story of her own to tell. Stephanie is a spoiled princess (but of course she wouldn't see herself as such): she complains that she was one of the poorest girls at her elite NYC high school; her stepdad and mom only have 3(? St. Barths, NYC, and Montauk) houses and she wasn't completely comfortable with the upper crest. I heard on the radio yesterday morning that 50% of adults have a hard time paying their bills. MOST PEOPLE DON'T HAVE 3 HOUSES! And she shouldn't feel poor.
However, her story is sad. I do believe that she was totally blindsided (whether Mark and Andy and Ruth were or not is harder to ascertain as this is...of course..Stephanie's POV) by Bernie's confession and I totally get that her life was ruined by it. But one has to step back from the drama and wonder why this script hasn't been turned into a soap opera. I mean really, how few people life a live like this: it's impossible for me to imagine a billion dollars. It is unfathomable to imagine how and why Bernie needed to steal tens and tens (and tens) of billions.
And yet, the story is compelling and Stephanie is hard not to like. She is personable and funny; she is smart and kind; and her life was ruined by this all. I don't think she was a gold digger and I do believe that she and Mark might have found their way back to a happiness (if he hadn't committed suicide) by sheer will and love.
But I found myself amazed at paragraphs that couple sentences about neither of them being employed (or employable) with descriptions of yet another week at one of their plush houses (on the beach in Nantucket or the sizable family home they kept in Greenwich). After Mark's suicide, Stephanie plans a Christmas that is totally disposable; she buys new Christmas decorations and ornaments and all presents and EVERYTHING with the plan of just tossing it when she is done. This is not the perspective of one who has been left destitute. Even Ruth ended up settling for $2.5 Million. Really, she tried to hold on to $69M, but was only allowed to keep $2.5M. And this is ruined. Most of the population would consider $2.5M a huge windfall. I know that a million is not what it used to be and all, but Ruth clearly will survive the rest of her life on this "paltry" sum.
Stephanie gives a nod to this: "he had never known anything but privilege, and he lacked the basic tools to cope with any adversity, much less this monumental one" after Mark's suicide, but I don't think she ever fully acknowledges her own biased perspective here.
That all said, it was a great peek into a world of which most of us know nothing (I say from my comfortable middle-class perch) and I enjoyed it thoroughly, but I'm not sure I could really understand any of it.
The best lesson to be learned from this book is one of perspective. I'm not going to read Ruth's book, but I'm sure if I did she would have a compelling story of her own to tell. Stephanie is a spoiled princess (but of course she wouldn't see herself as such): she complains that she was one of the poorest girls at her elite NYC high school; her stepdad and mom only have 3(? St. Barths, NYC, and Montauk) houses and she wasn't completely comfortable with the upper crest. I heard on the radio yesterday morning that 50% of adults have a hard time paying their bills. MOST PEOPLE DON'T HAVE 3 HOUSES! And she shouldn't feel poor.
However, her story is sad. I do believe that she was totally blindsided (whether Mark and Andy and Ruth were or not is harder to ascertain as this is...of course..Stephanie's POV) by Bernie's confession and I totally get that her life was ruined by it. But one has to step back from the drama and wonder why this script hasn't been turned into a soap opera. I mean really, how few people life a live like this: it's impossible for me to imagine a billion dollars. It is unfathomable to imagine how and why Bernie needed to steal tens and tens (and tens) of billions.
And yet, the story is compelling and Stephanie is hard not to like. She is personable and funny; she is smart and kind; and her life was ruined by this all. I don't think she was a gold digger and I do believe that she and Mark might have found their way back to a happiness (if he hadn't committed suicide) by sheer will and love.
But I found myself amazed at paragraphs that couple sentences about neither of them being employed (or employable) with descriptions of yet another week at one of their plush houses (on the beach in Nantucket or the sizable family home they kept in Greenwich). After Mark's suicide, Stephanie plans a Christmas that is totally disposable; she buys new Christmas decorations and ornaments and all presents and EVERYTHING with the plan of just tossing it when she is done. This is not the perspective of one who has been left destitute. Even Ruth ended up settling for $2.5 Million. Really, she tried to hold on to $69M, but was only allowed to keep $2.5M. And this is ruined. Most of the population would consider $2.5M a huge windfall. I know that a million is not what it used to be and all, but Ruth clearly will survive the rest of her life on this "paltry" sum.
Stephanie gives a nod to this: "he had never known anything but privilege, and he lacked the basic tools to cope with any adversity, much less this monumental one" after Mark's suicide, but I don't think she ever fully acknowledges her own biased perspective here.
That all said, it was a great peek into a world of which most of us know nothing (I say from my comfortable middle-class perch) and I enjoyed it thoroughly, but I'm not sure I could really understand any of it.
October 26, 2011
I was really interested in reading this book because I do believe that Mark Madoff was another one of his father's tragedies. I found Stephanie from the very beginning to be negative and extremely self centered. Even before the fraud was exposed, she painted herself as jilted and a victim. I cannot imagine what it is like to be in her or her children's shoes and I truly feel sorry for both. I do, however, think that she has painted an unbecoming picture of herself with this book. If her intention was to give people a better understanding of her husband and the stubble that he went through with his relationships, I think Stephanie succeeded.
January 8, 2012
Sad. Just a sad, sad situation. I wasn't sure what to expect going into this book considering what Stephanie's father-in-law, Bernie Madoff, had done to his investors. However, I found Stephanie's account to be...honest. She didn't try to hide her short-comings or smooth over her emotions or make it sound like she was a saint. Maybe she'll have regrets later, but she wanted to tell her husband's and her story after having to stay quiet for so long, and she did.
Don't get me wrong - some of it is hard to swallow. She had the flippin' Harlem Boys Choir sing at her wedding, after all. She worked for Narciso Rodriguez and so had a famous designer design and make her wedding dress. She had influential-enough friends to introduce her to Mark Madoff in the first place. Her family was well-off. She and Mark didn't lack for anything as far as money, trips, security, homes, etc, goes. So really, her "normal" is much different from the "normal" the rest of us are accustomed to. However, that's the way life is set up sometimes, so really, I can't knock her just because she was able to experience all of those things.
Regardless, I liked her honesty. She didn't hide her flaws, didn't make excuses. I'm sure she has regrets. I also appreciated that she could admit her anger at her husband over him taking his life. She didn't shy away from that. Aside from all the horror of so many people losing all of their life savings to her evil psychopath of a father-in-law, there is also the heartbreaking story of a man taking his life and leaving his wife and children behind. I don't believe that Mark Madoff had any knowledge of his father's crimes. I think he honestly was just broken down to the point that he thought if he went away, so would the nightmare of the Madoff name for his children.
People may read this book to try to gain insight on Bernie Madoff. They'll get some insight, but they're really not going to get all the juicy details they want. This isn't a story about Bernie Madoff. Stephanie makes it clear from the start that this is a story about her husband. She talks about the buildup to their meeting, courtship, marriage, pregnancy, children, and then the finding out of Bernie's scheme and the aftermath. She definitely did not shy away from describing interactions with the various members of that rather dysfunctional family, and the case could be made that she shouldn't talk about Mark's first wife in the manner that she does because of their children they had together. However, I really don't think she wanted to hide anything anymore; she wanted to share their story, and honestly, the family sounds beastly. Why write them as if they were better than they were? If the other members of the family want to write their stories, I'm sure there are buyers and sellers out there. Some of the family encounters do remind you of the fact that money may buy a lot, but it sure doesn't buy you any class (I'm especially talking to you, Ruth Madoff).
I do wish she had more recognized the fact that while their world had been shattered, they still had the means to live in a secure place with food delivered, etc, while others whose lives had been shattered by Bernie Madoff had literally nothing left to their name. Mark Madoff's suicide was not the only one to stem from Bernie Madoff's scheme, I'm sure. She did not make light of what Madoff had done, however, and it must be remembered that it was Madoff's own sons who turned him in, and then suffered the aftermath of it all as well, on top of the shame and shock of it being their own father who betrayed and destroyed so many.
Stephanie wrote this book several months after her husband's suicide. Would it have been written differently and had different perspective if she had waited longer? Sure. But did she need to wait? No, I don't think so. I could appreciate her book for what it was at this time - raw, emotional, and their story.
Don't get me wrong - some of it is hard to swallow. She had the flippin' Harlem Boys Choir sing at her wedding, after all. She worked for Narciso Rodriguez and so had a famous designer design and make her wedding dress. She had influential-enough friends to introduce her to Mark Madoff in the first place. Her family was well-off. She and Mark didn't lack for anything as far as money, trips, security, homes, etc, goes. So really, her "normal" is much different from the "normal" the rest of us are accustomed to. However, that's the way life is set up sometimes, so really, I can't knock her just because she was able to experience all of those things.
Regardless, I liked her honesty. She didn't hide her flaws, didn't make excuses. I'm sure she has regrets. I also appreciated that she could admit her anger at her husband over him taking his life. She didn't shy away from that. Aside from all the horror of so many people losing all of their life savings to her evil psychopath of a father-in-law, there is also the heartbreaking story of a man taking his life and leaving his wife and children behind. I don't believe that Mark Madoff had any knowledge of his father's crimes. I think he honestly was just broken down to the point that he thought if he went away, so would the nightmare of the Madoff name for his children.
People may read this book to try to gain insight on Bernie Madoff. They'll get some insight, but they're really not going to get all the juicy details they want. This isn't a story about Bernie Madoff. Stephanie makes it clear from the start that this is a story about her husband. She talks about the buildup to their meeting, courtship, marriage, pregnancy, children, and then the finding out of Bernie's scheme and the aftermath. She definitely did not shy away from describing interactions with the various members of that rather dysfunctional family, and the case could be made that she shouldn't talk about Mark's first wife in the manner that she does because of their children they had together. However, I really don't think she wanted to hide anything anymore; she wanted to share their story, and honestly, the family sounds beastly. Why write them as if they were better than they were? If the other members of the family want to write their stories, I'm sure there are buyers and sellers out there. Some of the family encounters do remind you of the fact that money may buy a lot, but it sure doesn't buy you any class (I'm especially talking to you, Ruth Madoff).
I do wish she had more recognized the fact that while their world had been shattered, they still had the means to live in a secure place with food delivered, etc, while others whose lives had been shattered by Bernie Madoff had literally nothing left to their name. Mark Madoff's suicide was not the only one to stem from Bernie Madoff's scheme, I'm sure. She did not make light of what Madoff had done, however, and it must be remembered that it was Madoff's own sons who turned him in, and then suffered the aftermath of it all as well, on top of the shame and shock of it being their own father who betrayed and destroyed so many.
Stephanie wrote this book several months after her husband's suicide. Would it have been written differently and had different perspective if she had waited longer? Sure. But did she need to wait? No, I don't think so. I could appreciate her book for what it was at this time - raw, emotional, and their story.
July 17, 2020
I was interested in reading this book because I believe that Mark Madoff was one of greatest tragedies of his father's saga. I also thought this book would shed light on the realities of suicide amidst family struggles. Unfortunately, I found Stephanie Madoff Mack to be shallow and whiny and while I feel terrible that she and her family have lost a family member to suicide, I think that she has painted a very unbecoming picture of herself with this book and I can't help but wonder what her children will someday think of their mother's story.
October 24, 2012
Well written depiction of one family member's perspective. But I would give the book 3 stars instead of 5 stars. I came away feeling as if Stephanie lives in a plastic bubble in some respects. First off, most people who might find themselves in this kind of situation would have to scramble around and find a job to make ends meet. It seems that is not the position she is in, and for that, she should be forever grateful....to the Madoffs. Instead, she spends a lot of energy trash talking. I'm sure every person in that family is living through their own personal hell. To think Mark's parents wouldn't be hurting over their son's suicide even though Bernie is a criminal is absolutely absurd. It will be interesting to see what her children will think when they get older. She mentions telling them all the awful things when they are old enough, but really, what purpose does that serve? It's her perspective. I'm sure there are a lot of perspectives in this sorted mess. It's like she has forgotten that every one of these people are human beings who might have feelings just like she does. Amazing!
December 10, 2011
I ending up reading this book because for whatever reason the whole Bernie Madoff case has always been sort of intriguing to me. While it wasn't dull and I found some of the revelations about the Madoff family interesting, I really didn't care for Ms. Madoff Mack (she was married to Mark Madoff, the Madoff son who comitted suicide). She seemed somewhat spoiled and superficial. I thought it was very tacky and unnecessary that she trashed her deceased husband's first wife (the mother of his oldest two children-I thought it was bitchy and mean that she publicly bad mouthed their mother). From a reader's standpoint, what was the purpose? People who pick up this book are most likely interested in the Madoff case, not the drama between Mark Madoff's first and second wives. Anyway, after reading this book and several articles about this case I really don't think that Bernie Madoff's sons or his wife, Ruth, had any clue what he was really up to. Bernie really is a sociopath. I've had my fill of the Madoff saga at this point.
November 10, 2011
Unique look into a slice of the Madoff world. Stephanie Madoff Mack is the widow of Mark, son of swindler Bernie, who died at his own hand. Her story is heartbreaking but she is almost too generous to her husband, which I understand, but this approach didn't allow the reader to see the full spectrum of her feelings. He tries to kill himself once and eventually succeeds and she paints their marriage as very happy and rosy. There is an entire year she glosses over between the first attempt and the second and you wonder just how bad things got. Everything is sort of held at a distance, which is certainly her prerogative, but if you're writing a memoir know it's going to also distance the readers from the story you’re trying to tell.
You can tell she really struggles with reconciling the family she married into (Bernie and Ruth: devoted grandparents) with the people they really are. She doesn’t really question her husband, though, and I don’t mean in terms of his culpability. As he immediately reported his father upon learning of his transgressions pretty much eliminates his culpability (at least in my mind). But clearly Bernie and Ruth have personality disorders and it seems Mark did too. His suicide attempt (and eventual success) seemed to be entirely based on revenge. Even the very small glimpses she offers into his mindset paint a very twisted story. I don’t mean depression; I have a tremendous amount of sympathy for those who suffer. There is something more here. This memoir did not feel “honest” and “true” in this regard.
Also “The End of Normal” is a bit of a strange title given their life was never normal. They lived in a $6 million apartment (gifted by Bernie). Jon Bon Jovi is a neighbor. They have multiple houses in multiple tony neighborhoods. She never really acknowledges that they didn’t exactly live life free and clear of some of the benefits of Madoff’s scheming. Regardless of what Mark knew, he still worked for his father. He owed Bernie $5 million.
I do love how close she is to her parents. This bodes very well for the future of her children (and her!) This book is no work of great literary feat, but it is very engaging. I did love the line where she says it’s much harder to be sad than angry. So true. I think most anyone would find this book interesting, if they understand it’s lots of privileged people never really acknowledging the privilege.
I do have to say it's crazy that it's been less than a year since he killed himself. They really rushed to get this book out, particularly in light of how slow the publishing world works. I think the perspective of time might've made this book feel less "OMG my husband was the most amazing man." Still, though, a solid read.
You can tell she really struggles with reconciling the family she married into (Bernie and Ruth: devoted grandparents) with the people they really are. She doesn’t really question her husband, though, and I don’t mean in terms of his culpability. As he immediately reported his father upon learning of his transgressions pretty much eliminates his culpability (at least in my mind). But clearly Bernie and Ruth have personality disorders and it seems Mark did too. His suicide attempt (and eventual success) seemed to be entirely based on revenge. Even the very small glimpses she offers into his mindset paint a very twisted story. I don’t mean depression; I have a tremendous amount of sympathy for those who suffer. There is something more here. This memoir did not feel “honest” and “true” in this regard.
Also “The End of Normal” is a bit of a strange title given their life was never normal. They lived in a $6 million apartment (gifted by Bernie). Jon Bon Jovi is a neighbor. They have multiple houses in multiple tony neighborhoods. She never really acknowledges that they didn’t exactly live life free and clear of some of the benefits of Madoff’s scheming. Regardless of what Mark knew, he still worked for his father. He owed Bernie $5 million.
I do love how close she is to her parents. This bodes very well for the future of her children (and her!) This book is no work of great literary feat, but it is very engaging. I did love the line where she says it’s much harder to be sad than angry. So true. I think most anyone would find this book interesting, if they understand it’s lots of privileged people never really acknowledging the privilege.
I do have to say it's crazy that it's been less than a year since he killed himself. They really rushed to get this book out, particularly in light of how slow the publishing world works. I think the perspective of time might've made this book feel less "OMG my husband was the most amazing man." Still, though, a solid read.
July 19, 2017
Read via library. Read because i listened to the podcast called "Ponzi Supernova" - a MUST listen to podcast.
All I have to say about this book is cry me a river. This book was written in 2011 so I wonder if it would be a different book today. Probably. Stephanie Madoff Mack should have either just written an article in a magazine or cut this book in half if she wanted people to feel sorry for her. I 100% feel sorry for Bernie Madoff's sons - and it really sucks that Mark was so troubled by his father's sins that he committed suicide - but this book only partly convey's those sentiments. The other part is about how rich Stephanie was or how perfect her life was and now its not. And, lets be honest, she came from money (which she makes abundantly clear) so its not like she is living in the poor house now. In fact, I don't think she ever lived in the poor house even after the scandal came out. (http://www.wealthmanagement.com/high-...) She was still traveling and had several houses and going to school and had a nanny....(you get it). (http://nypost.com/2017/05/14/the-sad-...)
The only reason to read this book is to get a bit more insight into the dynamics of Madoff family but I mean that is about 3 chapters of the book so here is a summary: Bernie Madoff is crazy and does not feel remorse AT ALL and he, therefore, caused a lot of deaths (suicides, heart attacks....). The family was CRAZY rich and loved to spend money (all those details of fancy vacations are in the book) and clearly had no concept of any consequences. Stephanie was the 2nd wife of Mark and is VERY bitter about that, too.
Just listen to the podcast. It will make you sick.
All I have to say about this book is cry me a river. This book was written in 2011 so I wonder if it would be a different book today. Probably. Stephanie Madoff Mack should have either just written an article in a magazine or cut this book in half if she wanted people to feel sorry for her. I 100% feel sorry for Bernie Madoff's sons - and it really sucks that Mark was so troubled by his father's sins that he committed suicide - but this book only partly convey's those sentiments. The other part is about how rich Stephanie was or how perfect her life was and now its not. And, lets be honest, she came from money (which she makes abundantly clear) so its not like she is living in the poor house now. In fact, I don't think she ever lived in the poor house even after the scandal came out. (http://www.wealthmanagement.com/high-...) She was still traveling and had several houses and going to school and had a nanny....(you get it). (http://nypost.com/2017/05/14/the-sad-...)
The only reason to read this book is to get a bit more insight into the dynamics of Madoff family but I mean that is about 3 chapters of the book so here is a summary: Bernie Madoff is crazy and does not feel remorse AT ALL and he, therefore, caused a lot of deaths (suicides, heart attacks....). The family was CRAZY rich and loved to spend money (all those details of fancy vacations are in the book) and clearly had no concept of any consequences. Stephanie was the 2nd wife of Mark and is VERY bitter about that, too.
Just listen to the podcast. It will make you sick.
November 15, 2011
The End of Normal reads like fiction. Stephanie Madoff does a beautiful job vindicating her late husband, Mark Madoff. Her emotions are raw, but honest, which makes this book very emotional and hard to put down. I have gained a lot of respect for Stephanie and I feel she has no reason to lie. Bernie Madoff not only stole from thousands of people, but he duped her own parents out of their savings as well. I’m sure that writing this book was not easy; she takes the reader into her very personal life and overwhelming loss. The love story she shared of her and Mark was beautiful, I’m just sad that she didn’t have the happy ending that so many of us get.
As far as Andrew Madoff and Ruth Madoff, I don’t believe they have any redeemable qualities. Stephanie’s account of the way Andrew treated Mark after his first suicide attempt is horrifying. More so, the way he acted after Mark’s death is worse. Ruth’s unmovable devotion to the man that eventually took her son’s life is disgusting. I commend Stephanie for being openly candid and I highly recommend this book.
As far as Andrew Madoff and Ruth Madoff, I don’t believe they have any redeemable qualities. Stephanie’s account of the way Andrew treated Mark after his first suicide attempt is horrifying. More so, the way he acted after Mark’s death is worse. Ruth’s unmovable devotion to the man that eventually took her son’s life is disgusting. I commend Stephanie for being openly candid and I highly recommend this book.
January 18, 2023
2.8
Confession: picked this up only because I had just finished the Madoff docuseries on Nflix. Here goes—
My random thoughts about the widow of eldest son of Madoff—- first off, Mark and I share the same birthday date!
I can see why she wrote the book, as she now needs money, and her husband is no more. Her MIL and hub’s ex wife are difficulties in her life. She wanted to capture her story for Audrey and Nic to know
At the end of the day, I feel many readers, much like myself, wrestle with the fact that this is a memoir of utter privilege (Caucasian, monied) tethered to a most tragic, stressful story. Her life became hell, surely.
That she and Mark bonded over all the non-material, worldly crap was heartening for me. Running, fishing, nature, being out of doors, be it Nantucket or Montawk, was nice to learn.
Secondly, I still appreciate her, spoiled and hot tempered (oft times too righteous for me), having the courage to tell the story, and sometimes honest enough not to sugar-coat herself behaving badly. I also agree that some of her pointed declarations belied her immaturity and narcissism.
Who wants in-laws who are superficial and a challenge, an impossibility of bonding in a real way—- who wants to grow a family and have all that headache to contend with—- not to mention that she is now a young widow. I surmise she was robbed of much joy she should have experienced.
Ive been to NYC, Old Greenwich and to Cape Cod, so it was much easier for me to picture it…
Very happy she went on to become a licensed CLS, and I for one appreciate each and every one (too few) at our children’s hospital!
PS undoubtedly, there were portions of this that read exactly like Real Housewives, just like her fandom, and I had to cringe to make it through—- privilege!!!
Confession: picked this up only because I had just finished the Madoff docuseries on Nflix. Here goes—
My random thoughts about the widow of eldest son of Madoff—- first off, Mark and I share the same birthday date!
I can see why she wrote the book, as she now needs money, and her husband is no more. Her MIL and hub’s ex wife are difficulties in her life. She wanted to capture her story for Audrey and Nic to know
At the end of the day, I feel many readers, much like myself, wrestle with the fact that this is a memoir of utter privilege (Caucasian, monied) tethered to a most tragic, stressful story. Her life became hell, surely.
That she and Mark bonded over all the non-material, worldly crap was heartening for me. Running, fishing, nature, being out of doors, be it Nantucket or Montawk, was nice to learn.
Secondly, I still appreciate her, spoiled and hot tempered (oft times too righteous for me), having the courage to tell the story, and sometimes honest enough not to sugar-coat herself behaving badly. I also agree that some of her pointed declarations belied her immaturity and narcissism.
Who wants in-laws who are superficial and a challenge, an impossibility of bonding in a real way—- who wants to grow a family and have all that headache to contend with—- not to mention that she is now a young widow. I surmise she was robbed of much joy she should have experienced.
Ive been to NYC, Old Greenwich and to Cape Cod, so it was much easier for me to picture it…
Very happy she went on to become a licensed CLS, and I for one appreciate each and every one (too few) at our children’s hospital!
PS undoubtedly, there were portions of this that read exactly like Real Housewives, just like her fandom, and I had to cringe to make it through—- privilege!!!
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
September 21, 2023
This is exactly what you hope for when reading a salacious memoir but so rarely get: the writer being completely unaware of how she comes across so unknowingly gives away many details usually kept quiet in these situations. She’s not exactly likeable, but I couldn’t put it down.
June 7, 2019
While this is an interesting read that gives a profound, though one-sided perspective into the Maddof's life, it is a hard read because the author is well, unlikable. The tragedy of her husband's suicide is undeniable and mainly the reason I read this book. Though it's been a few years since its publication, I always wanted to know exactly what happened. The book gives you a detailed account of that. However, this woman is incredibly self-unaware and completely unable to see the world from other's perspective, especially her husband. It is hard to put into words her vibe, but suffice it to say that she is the kind of woman you do not want to be married to when all sh!t hits the fan. And being associated with the swindling of half the country in one of the most bold-faced fraudulent schemes that world will forever remember definitely qualifies as sh!t hitting the fan... hard. She is the type of person that will say, "but look! I am the only one smeared in sh!t. Look at me, I am the one who matters"! No, the case is not that this is her story and hence it gives her perspective. Her perspective itself makes you want to scream about what the others are feeling and going through too! She would drill on her husband and berate him for his turmoil. She would scream about HER petty needs when her husband was under tremendous stress and emotional upheaval. She was NOT a supportive wife despite of how she wants her story to be viewed. She would kick her husband constantly while he was down. She would make things worse by continuing to express her hateful feelings towards his parents, his ex wife, his brother and his girlfriend, and other minor, ridiculous circumstances. Ugh! I can go on, and on. Either way, I hope Stephanie has further reflected on her growth as an individual and has a different perspective now since publishing this book. Library borrow by the way. Definitely not worth my $
July 17, 2019
Quite simply put, this book was dreadful. Stephanie is a narcissistic, spoiled brat who complains the entire book about how Bernie’s Ponzi scheme affected her specifically. She breezes over the thousands of other people who lost their entire life savings because of the scandal and goes on continual tirades and rants about her husbands ex-wife being a “complete bitch”. I’m appalled to know that people live their life the way she does, and it was I struggle to read this. To boot, I listen to the audiobook version which is read by the author herself, and her condescending tone made me loath her. The final digger for me, was her self-proclaimed first thought when she heard the news that her husband had committed suicide, which was “I hate Mark Madoff!” What a horrible person.
November 30, 2011
She is a piece of work! I obviously feel badly that she lost her husband, but she pretty much blames everyone for everything, besides herself of course. First she hates her in-laws, then they are wonderful grandparents and then she hates them again. Sometime on the same page it seems.
May 27, 2025
Betrayal, loss & grief.
January 2, 2013
I’ve found memoirs to be touch and go in general, but I was especially wary when starting this book because I wasn’t sure how Mack would approach the subject matter…and I wasn’t sure what route she would take with her story. If you aren’t very familiar with every detail in the Madoff case, you may assume that Mack perhaps knew about her father-in-law’s massive Ponzi scheme, or that she was kept in the dark but her husband, Mark Madoff (Bernie’s son) knew about it. Neither is true. Like everyone who had invested their hard-earned money, retirement or life savings in Bernie Madoff’s “investment fund,” they were blindsided by news of his deception. Mark Madoff, Stephanie’s husband, and Mark’s brother Andy Madoff immediately went to the authorities and have remained mostly estranged from Bernie and Ruth Madoff since.
But, this book isn’t about the ins-and-outs of the Madoff case. Other books (good ones, apparently) have been written about that. Stephanie is telling her story here. Bernie plays a major figure, yes, but this book is about Mark, their marriage and their family. The major turning point in the book occurs when Mark commits suicide on the two-year anniversary of Bernie’s arrest while Mack and her daughter were away at Disney World.
Everyone complains about their in-laws, but this story is truly tragic and horrific on a huge scale. There is massive manipulation and deception throughout on every level, and yet I admired Mack’s resilience to be true to her husband’s wishes at every turn. She comes across not as some spoiled Manhattan mom, but as a down-to-earth woman, devoted mother and loyal wife trying to sort her way through an incredible crisis.
I finished this book in a day. I couldn’t stop reading. As far as memoirs go, this one is excellent, sad, moving and all the rest. I highly recommend it.
But, this book isn’t about the ins-and-outs of the Madoff case. Other books (good ones, apparently) have been written about that. Stephanie is telling her story here. Bernie plays a major figure, yes, but this book is about Mark, their marriage and their family. The major turning point in the book occurs when Mark commits suicide on the two-year anniversary of Bernie’s arrest while Mack and her daughter were away at Disney World.
Everyone complains about their in-laws, but this story is truly tragic and horrific on a huge scale. There is massive manipulation and deception throughout on every level, and yet I admired Mack’s resilience to be true to her husband’s wishes at every turn. She comes across not as some spoiled Manhattan mom, but as a down-to-earth woman, devoted mother and loyal wife trying to sort her way through an incredible crisis.
I finished this book in a day. I couldn’t stop reading. As far as memoirs go, this one is excellent, sad, moving and all the rest. I highly recommend it.
July 16, 2017
“Life, they showed me, could go on no matter how unpredictable, no matter how unfair.”
"Hurt people may hurt people, but ultra-rich hurt people REALLY hurt people." - Mr Eric
I read The End of Normal by Stephanie Madoff Mack. Book #99 of 182, 272 pages, finished 7/15/2017.
Rating: 2/5
The End of Normal tells the story of Mark and Stephanie Madoff, the son and daughter-in-law of the infamous Bernie Madoff, who in 2008 was caught for a decades-long Ponzi scheme in which he defrauded his friends, family, and investors for an AMAZING $64.8 BILLION DOLLARS! Stephanie describes her romance with her husband, their wedding, the relationships, the news of the scandal, and the aftermath... most notably, her husband committing suicide.
DO YOU LOVE DRAMA? This book is one long sentence of drama. Not only does Mack spend her time eviscerating her extended family, but she dives into all of the ways she was awful to her husband prior to him ending his life.
I'm torn here - I want to get all judge-y about this book. The characters are perpetually awful to one another - even their good deeds are often wrapped up in all sorts of backbiting and hatefulness.
On the other hand, they are living through a near-impossible-to-bear set of events - the complete loss of trust, financial security, privacy, and perhaps even life (in the case of the suicide).
I do question why the book was written though. Mack goes on and on about trying to stay out of the limelight, and trying to changer her name away from Madoff (while her husband was still living). If you really wanted to stay out of the limelight, MAYBE YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE WRITTEN A TELL-ALL BOOK.
I suppose if you were one of the folks defrauded by Bernie Madoff and you want some sweet revenge of how miserable his family is now... read away! Otherwise, skip it.
"Hurt people may hurt people, but ultra-rich hurt people REALLY hurt people." - Mr Eric
I read The End of Normal by Stephanie Madoff Mack. Book #99 of 182, 272 pages, finished 7/15/2017.
Rating: 2/5
The End of Normal tells the story of Mark and Stephanie Madoff, the son and daughter-in-law of the infamous Bernie Madoff, who in 2008 was caught for a decades-long Ponzi scheme in which he defrauded his friends, family, and investors for an AMAZING $64.8 BILLION DOLLARS! Stephanie describes her romance with her husband, their wedding, the relationships, the news of the scandal, and the aftermath... most notably, her husband committing suicide.
DO YOU LOVE DRAMA? This book is one long sentence of drama. Not only does Mack spend her time eviscerating her extended family, but she dives into all of the ways she was awful to her husband prior to him ending his life.
I'm torn here - I want to get all judge-y about this book. The characters are perpetually awful to one another - even their good deeds are often wrapped up in all sorts of backbiting and hatefulness.
On the other hand, they are living through a near-impossible-to-bear set of events - the complete loss of trust, financial security, privacy, and perhaps even life (in the case of the suicide).
I do question why the book was written though. Mack goes on and on about trying to stay out of the limelight, and trying to changer her name away from Madoff (while her husband was still living). If you really wanted to stay out of the limelight, MAYBE YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE WRITTEN A TELL-ALL BOOK.
I suppose if you were one of the folks defrauded by Bernie Madoff and you want some sweet revenge of how miserable his family is now... read away! Otherwise, skip it.
July 30, 2016
For me, this book was primarily fascinating by testing my limits of sympathy. Like, if Stephanie was one of my friends, I would feel really bad for her, she seems like she would be a really good friend. But as a reader at a distance, it is often so hard to feel sorry for her. But having your husband commit suicide and leave you with two kids is terrible for everyone. No amount of money or privilege makes that okay. But it's not just her situation, its the way she writes that makes it so hard to by sympathetic. Mack is so often clearly positioning herself against other people in her life, trying to get her angle in first, obviously terrified about all the equally horrible things people close to her husband could say about her. Add in her constance assurance that she's not "that kind" of rich person, she wanted such a simple wedding!...as long as an elite boys choir was absolutely booked for a performance. So, where's my line of sympathy? Does someone need to be right at or below my socio-economic status to garner my sympathy? If she had written the book with a little more self-reflection and class, would I have felt more deeply empathetic towards her. I want to believe that if I ever had a chance to meet her, I would treat her with just as much empathy and understanding as anyone else, but this format of book puts, for me, so many layers of judgement between her and me, it's really hard to bring up the same emotional response.
September 18, 2019
I was looking for the more human side of the Madoff scandal after reading a very dry fact based review of the events...and boy did I get it. This reads like a quiet table in the corner discussion with Stephanie after a bottle of Merlot, and by the end of the book, clearly the second bottle is mostly gone. It is dishy, vindictive, defensive and in many ways flat out mean. Now, in fairness, she is a victim to a crushing story which took her husband, and ruined her fairytale story and at least for a few years, her life....but boy that all comes out in the tale.
If you are looking for a tell all, nothing held back scream at the Madoffs, you picked the right book. If perhaps that too-dishy, too personal, too many feels after too much wine conversation isn't quite what you want, perhaps this isn't the book for you.
Don't think I'd choose to join this particular conversation again though as gossip really isn't my thing.
If you are looking for a tell all, nothing held back scream at the Madoffs, you picked the right book. If perhaps that too-dishy, too personal, too many feels after too much wine conversation isn't quite what you want, perhaps this isn't the book for you.
Don't think I'd choose to join this particular conversation again though as gossip really isn't my thing.
June 20, 2017
I received this book as a giveaway. That being said, I have to say that I was not aware of this high profile case prior to reading the book, but felt a real empathy for this family as it imploded due to the actions of one family member. The players became real as you read it and the message is clear. Teach your children how to deal with the knocks that life brings. Resilience saves lives.
November 6, 2011
Stephanie Madoff Mack had it all: homes in Soho, Greenwich and Nantucket, a doorman, a dog walker, reliable childcare for her two beautiful children, a handsome rich husband who adored her, a famous even wealthier father-in-law, luxury cars, nice clothes. Then in December 2008, her father-in-law Bernard Madoff, confessed to his two sons that his entire life and business was a giant lie. The rest is history. Thousands of people lost millions of dollars from "investing" with Bernie Madoff, including Stephanie Madoff's own step-father.
Over night all members of the Madoff family became pariahs, hounded by the FBI, the SEC, and the media. Mark and Andrew, Bernie's two sons, were the ones who turned their father in to the FBI, but no one would believe that the sons had not been involved in the fraud. As lawsuits piled up, and bankruptcy loomed, Mark and Stephanie faced total isolation, and became estranged from the rest of the family who refused to sever relations with Bernie. Mark spiraled down into a deep depression and attempted suicide. After his failed attempt, he went into counseling and seemed to be recovering.
Two years to the day from his father's arrest, Mark hanged himself in the Soho loft, while his wife and daughter were in DisneyWorld, and his son slept in the next room. His final texts, sent on December 11, 2010, at 4:14 a.m., while Stephanie slept, simply said: Please send someone to take care of Nick and I Love You. Suddenly Stephanie's life was totally upside down. Now she not only had no money, no job, and myriad legal problems, but she had no husband, and her children had no father.
I was hesitant to listen to this in audio, although it is a format I really enjoy, because the author reads this herself. I thought it might be self-serving, or whiny, but it's not. It's a straight forward account of a young woman's change in circumstances and how she is dealing with the problem. Oh. Yes. there is certainly some rancor toward her mother and father -in law. There is certainly still an unsteady relationship with Mark's brother Andrew. And yes at times it is difficult to feel sorry for someone who still has a dog walker, nice cars, a doorman, and several houses. But she is very clear that all that privilege does not make up for being deprived of Mark's presence. She tells her story, from the beginning of her relationship with Mark, to their early days together, meeting the senior Madoffs, their wedding, early days of marriage and pregnancy and parenthood.
She is bluntly honest about the trauma and terror of the days following finding out about the Ponzi scheme, and her anguish as she watched the agony her husband and brother-in-law went through trying to convince the world that they were not involved. Her animosity toward her mother-in-law Ruth Madoff is especially well documented. She relates her panic at receiving those last two text messages from her husband, her frantic efforts to get her step-father to gain access to the apartment home to check on her son, and the subsequent flight home and how she had to explain to her 4 year old daughter that "daddy had a boo boo in his brain, and it made him die, and now he's in the sky and you can talk to him anytime you want. He can't come home but he's there for you anytime you want to talk to him."
She ends by reading from the first paragraphs of Mark's unfinished book that he had begun writing before his death. He wanted desperately to vindicate himself, to recapture the respect he felt he'd earned by all his hard work, and that he'd lost because of his father's transgressions. Her heart-felt passion is at once emotional and composed. No matter whether the reader believes that the sons were involved or not, and no matter what other financial tragedies that Bernie Madoff unleashed on the world, this story is a compelling personal one that presents a story needing to be told.
Penguin sums it up in their press release: "Stephanie Madoff Mack has written this at once searing and poignant memoir in order to tell her husband’s story—for him, for their children, and for the world."
Ms. Madoff gives us just enough emotion to be able to understand her feelings, without having to wallow in them.
Over night all members of the Madoff family became pariahs, hounded by the FBI, the SEC, and the media. Mark and Andrew, Bernie's two sons, were the ones who turned their father in to the FBI, but no one would believe that the sons had not been involved in the fraud. As lawsuits piled up, and bankruptcy loomed, Mark and Stephanie faced total isolation, and became estranged from the rest of the family who refused to sever relations with Bernie. Mark spiraled down into a deep depression and attempted suicide. After his failed attempt, he went into counseling and seemed to be recovering.
Two years to the day from his father's arrest, Mark hanged himself in the Soho loft, while his wife and daughter were in DisneyWorld, and his son slept in the next room. His final texts, sent on December 11, 2010, at 4:14 a.m., while Stephanie slept, simply said: Please send someone to take care of Nick and I Love You. Suddenly Stephanie's life was totally upside down. Now she not only had no money, no job, and myriad legal problems, but she had no husband, and her children had no father.
I was hesitant to listen to this in audio, although it is a format I really enjoy, because the author reads this herself. I thought it might be self-serving, or whiny, but it's not. It's a straight forward account of a young woman's change in circumstances and how she is dealing with the problem. Oh. Yes. there is certainly some rancor toward her mother and father -in law. There is certainly still an unsteady relationship with Mark's brother Andrew. And yes at times it is difficult to feel sorry for someone who still has a dog walker, nice cars, a doorman, and several houses. But she is very clear that all that privilege does not make up for being deprived of Mark's presence. She tells her story, from the beginning of her relationship with Mark, to their early days together, meeting the senior Madoffs, their wedding, early days of marriage and pregnancy and parenthood.
She is bluntly honest about the trauma and terror of the days following finding out about the Ponzi scheme, and her anguish as she watched the agony her husband and brother-in-law went through trying to convince the world that they were not involved. Her animosity toward her mother-in-law Ruth Madoff is especially well documented. She relates her panic at receiving those last two text messages from her husband, her frantic efforts to get her step-father to gain access to the apartment home to check on her son, and the subsequent flight home and how she had to explain to her 4 year old daughter that "daddy had a boo boo in his brain, and it made him die, and now he's in the sky and you can talk to him anytime you want. He can't come home but he's there for you anytime you want to talk to him."
She ends by reading from the first paragraphs of Mark's unfinished book that he had begun writing before his death. He wanted desperately to vindicate himself, to recapture the respect he felt he'd earned by all his hard work, and that he'd lost because of his father's transgressions. Her heart-felt passion is at once emotional and composed. No matter whether the reader believes that the sons were involved or not, and no matter what other financial tragedies that Bernie Madoff unleashed on the world, this story is a compelling personal one that presents a story needing to be told.
Penguin sums it up in their press release: "Stephanie Madoff Mack has written this at once searing and poignant memoir in order to tell her husband’s story—for him, for their children, and for the world."
Ms. Madoff gives us just enough emotion to be able to understand her feelings, without having to wallow in them.
August 10, 2017
THE END OF NORMAL: A WIFE'S ANGUISH, A WIDOW'S NEW LIFE is the courageous Memoir by Stephanie Madoff Mack. Stephanie felt compelled, after the heart-breaking anguish of her husband Mark's suicide, to write the true story of the Madoff family's implosion.
Stephanie grew up in a middle class family in New York City. She was 27 years old, had never been married, and was working as an assistant to designer Narciso Rodriguez, when she met the 37 year old, divorced, father of two, Mark Madoff on a blind date. It wasn't long before they realized that they belonged together. They got married on October 23, 2004 at Nantucket Harbor. Narciso designed her wedding gown as a gift! Linda Fairstein, her friend, a former NY prosecutor, who now wrote novels, presided over the ceremony. Mark had a degree in economics, and worked with his brother Andy in their own market-making division. Although, their business was part of Bernie Madoff's investment firm; it was also separate from their Father's investments. When Bernie told his sons about his Ponzi investors, the debt he couldn't cover, and that he was turning himself in at the end of the week ... they were both overwhelmed with shock!?! How could he have done this? Mark and Andy talked to their lawyer, and then the FBI, immediately. They had not had any part in, or knowledge of their Dad's schemes, and they wanted to be sure the FBI and FTC knew it. The law sentenced Bernie to 150 years of jail time in December of 2008. The brothers cooperated with the law and were not arrested. However, they lost their business and became unemployable as "MADOFF'S SONS". Mark became depressed over the loss of his integrity, and continuous persecution by the press and other people. This was the beginning of the end of normal for Stephanie, too. She legally changed her last name to Mack, when Mark encouraged her to. What occurred that led to Mark's violent and final decision? Stephanie's sadness, anger, and anxiety over what Mark did, not only to himself, but to her and his children; led her to write, and allowed her to let her feelings out! I have great admiration for Stephanie Mack for the way she has endured and survived this tragedy. This is a one Memoir that will truly make you think. I won this book through Goodreads and this review is my own opinion of Stephanie's life as a Madoff.
Stephanie grew up in a middle class family in New York City. She was 27 years old, had never been married, and was working as an assistant to designer Narciso Rodriguez, when she met the 37 year old, divorced, father of two, Mark Madoff on a blind date. It wasn't long before they realized that they belonged together. They got married on October 23, 2004 at Nantucket Harbor. Narciso designed her wedding gown as a gift! Linda Fairstein, her friend, a former NY prosecutor, who now wrote novels, presided over the ceremony. Mark had a degree in economics, and worked with his brother Andy in their own market-making division. Although, their business was part of Bernie Madoff's investment firm; it was also separate from their Father's investments. When Bernie told his sons about his Ponzi investors, the debt he couldn't cover, and that he was turning himself in at the end of the week ... they were both overwhelmed with shock!?! How could he have done this? Mark and Andy talked to their lawyer, and then the FBI, immediately. They had not had any part in, or knowledge of their Dad's schemes, and they wanted to be sure the FBI and FTC knew it. The law sentenced Bernie to 150 years of jail time in December of 2008. The brothers cooperated with the law and were not arrested. However, they lost their business and became unemployable as "MADOFF'S SONS". Mark became depressed over the loss of his integrity, and continuous persecution by the press and other people. This was the beginning of the end of normal for Stephanie, too. She legally changed her last name to Mack, when Mark encouraged her to. What occurred that led to Mark's violent and final decision? Stephanie's sadness, anger, and anxiety over what Mark did, not only to himself, but to her and his children; led her to write, and allowed her to let her feelings out! I have great admiration for Stephanie Mack for the way she has endured and survived this tragedy. This is a one Memoir that will truly make you think. I won this book through Goodreads and this review is my own opinion of Stephanie's life as a Madoff.
June 12, 2015
My husband was getting ready to leave for Iraq while most of this was going down so I was busy and missed a lot of this.
The way she depicts Mark and Andrew is almost completely opposite than a lot of other in depth pieces depict them. It's almost the other way around in most pieces. Somewhere there is truth but I doubt we will ever know.
If only he would have been able to hang up that life and move away to start a new somewhere like she urged.
I am surprised she stayed in NYC after he died.
I don't know how you can read this book and not see it as tragic no matter who it was. To me it's like the ultimate fable especially if you believe they did know. I would like to think if they had known wouldn't they have protected themselves better? Been better prepared for the crumble? Have their escape planned?
In the end this was a man who never learned how hard the real world was and he was just too old when he did. His upbringing did him no favors.
This book left me feeling so thankful of who I married and love. You can't help who you love though, and come on, how is it we all can't totally relate that we can't help who our in-laws or our own family are?
It's a shame he felt like getting sued and possibly losing everything was enough to end his life. Plenty of people live meaningful lives working blue collar jobs living in 1k a month apartments. If that's where the road took the family they could have too.
The way she depicts Mark and Andrew is almost completely opposite than a lot of other in depth pieces depict them. It's almost the other way around in most pieces. Somewhere there is truth but I doubt we will ever know.
If only he would have been able to hang up that life and move away to start a new somewhere like she urged.
I am surprised she stayed in NYC after he died.
I don't know how you can read this book and not see it as tragic no matter who it was. To me it's like the ultimate fable especially if you believe they did know. I would like to think if they had known wouldn't they have protected themselves better? Been better prepared for the crumble? Have their escape planned?
In the end this was a man who never learned how hard the real world was and he was just too old when he did. His upbringing did him no favors.
This book left me feeling so thankful of who I married and love. You can't help who you love though, and come on, how is it we all can't totally relate that we can't help who our in-laws or our own family are?
It's a shame he felt like getting sued and possibly losing everything was enough to end his life. Plenty of people live meaningful lives working blue collar jobs living in 1k a month apartments. If that's where the road took the family they could have too.
May 8, 2018
The End of Normal by Stephanie Madoff Mark is the story of Mark and Stephanie Madoff, and their struggles associated with the infamous Bernie Madoff’s Ponzie scheme. The book describes how Mark and Stephanie met, their early relationship, their marriage and their children. All standard rather boring stuff. The book then describes Bernie’s downfall and how it pulled Stephanie and Mark down into a vortex of uncertainty, confusion and doubt. Why was this book not so good? The Madoff’s lived a life of luxury and wealth. Not just Bernie and Ruth Madoff but Stephanie and Mark did as well. And after the downfall when Bernie lost everything, Stephanie and Mark still seemed to live a ‘pretty good life’. They owned several homes. They did not seem to have to work. They went on multiple vacations. They lived well off. Until Mark killed himself and then Stephanie seemed to live well off without him. So why should the reader feel sorry for Stephanie? That would have been a good question for the book to answer. What disturbed me the most is how vindictive Stephanie was to the grandmother of her children. Stephanie was spiteful, hateful, unkind and even cruel. So if you want to read a book about a wealthy extravagant couple who went through a tragedy and came out worst people by far, then this is the book for you. The best part of reading the book was that it gave me a desire to read a ‘good’ book about Bernie Madoff and his infamous Ponzie scheme.
December 20, 2018
It's difficult to review a memoir, especially regarding a person and emotional topic. The book as literature is ultimately an interesting look behind the scenes of a scandal and the aftermath, including the repercussions on a family. To my interest, the book focused more on the period of time after news broke about the ponzi scheme but before Mark Madoff's suicide. The narrative can come off as complaining or sniping at other family members at times, and I hoped to see more of the personal struggle and emotions of Mack. It's also worth noting that it can be difficult to empathize with a narrator when the options of 'escaping' a media-ridden Manhattan include a house on Nantucket or moving to Greenwich, CT. Everyone has their own problems in their own way, but I imagine it would be difficult for some to put themselves in Mack's shoes.
Also, a note on the audio-book: the book is narrated by the author which leaves the reading a little flat, although you can hear the emotion in her voice at certain points.
Also, a note on the audio-book: the book is narrated by the author which leaves the reading a little flat, although you can hear the emotion in her voice at certain points.
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