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Divided Minds: Twin Sisters and Their Journey Through Schizophrenia
Growing up in the fifties, Carolyn Spiro was always in the shadow of her more intellectually dominant and social outgoing twin, Pamela. But as the twins approached adolescence, Pamela began to succumb to schizophrenia, hearing disembodied voices and eventually suffering many breakdowns and hospitalizations.
Divided Minds is a dual memoir of identical twins, one of whom faces a life sentence of schizophrenia, and the other who becomes a psychiatrist, after entering the spotlight that had for so long been focused on her sister. Told in the alternating voices of the sisters, Divided Minds is a heartbreaking account of the far reaches of madness, as well as the depths of ambivalence and love between twins. It is a true and unusually frank story of identical twins with very different identities and wildly different experiences of the world around them.
Divided Minds is a dual memoir of identical twins, one of whom faces a life sentence of schizophrenia, and the other who becomes a psychiatrist, after entering the spotlight that had for so long been focused on her sister. Told in the alternating voices of the sisters, Divided Minds is a heartbreaking account of the far reaches of madness, as well as the depths of ambivalence and love between twins. It is a true and unusually frank story of identical twins with very different identities and wildly different experiences of the world around them.
336 pages, Paperback
First published August 1, 2005
288 people are currently reading
8501 people want to read
About the author
Pamela Spiro Wagner
5 books40 followersA writer and artist who lives with diagnoses of schizophrenia and narcolepsy, plus CNS Lyme disease, Pamela Spiro Wagner graduated magna cum laude from Brown University and attended medical school for one year. Despite having spent at least twelve years of her life in psychiatric units, she has won many awards, including a First Place in the 2001/2 International Poetry Competition sponsored by the BBC World Service. In 2005, she co-authored, with her twin sister, a psychiatrist, Divided Minds: Twin Sisters and their Journey through Schizophrenia (St Martin’s Press, 2005), which won the national NAMI Outstanding Literature Award and was a finalist for the Connecticut Book Award. Her work has appeared in the New York Times Sunday Magazine, LA Weekly and Tikkun among other places. WE MAD CLIMB SHAKY LADDERS IS HER FIRST BOOK OF POETRY, about mental illness. Her second book of poems , LEARNING TO SEE IN THREE DIMENSIONS (title tentative) by Cavankerry Press will be released sometime in 2017. Wagner is also a prolific self-taught artist. The art of "pamwagg," which she only just started doing since 2008, may be viewed at her blog: https://pamelaspirowagner.com, along with current writing.
Born in Washington, Wagner lived most of her life in Connecticut but has recently moved to Vermont.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 213 reviews
June 22, 2019
A story of identical twins. Superficially identical that is. They looked the same and were fiercely intelligent, but there was nothing else similar about them at all. One went to Harvard and became a psychiatrist. The other became a psychotic and went to mental homes.
However, along the way the bi-polar, schizophrenic sister discovered poetry and became an award-winning poet writing as she did from a frame of reference alien to almost all of us. She brings us glimpses from another mind, a land which might not have had many beautiful landscapes but is certainly captivatingly foreign.
Together, without sparing each other or their family, the sisters wrote this book from their own perspectives. The sane one filling in what the psychotic one doesn't remember. The book doesn't describe schizophrenia and its effects as much as relate the experience of it from within. I know several people with schizophrenia but had never realised quite how much it was an alternative reality: one lived in an unremitting depressive hell without past memories or, when sunk into its psychosis, any knowledge or hope of a better future. Drugs sometimes provided remissions, but it is a deteriorating disorder and the last look at the two sisters is of the professional family woman and her sister, the bag lady, the poet.
However, along the way the bi-polar, schizophrenic sister discovered poetry and became an award-winning poet writing as she did from a frame of reference alien to almost all of us. She brings us glimpses from another mind, a land which might not have had many beautiful landscapes but is certainly captivatingly foreign.
Together, without sparing each other or their family, the sisters wrote this book from their own perspectives. The sane one filling in what the psychotic one doesn't remember. The book doesn't describe schizophrenia and its effects as much as relate the experience of it from within. I know several people with schizophrenia but had never realised quite how much it was an alternative reality: one lived in an unremitting depressive hell without past memories or, when sunk into its psychosis, any knowledge or hope of a better future. Drugs sometimes provided remissions, but it is a deteriorating disorder and the last look at the two sisters is of the professional family woman and her sister, the bag lady, the poet.
May 11, 2014
I had a lot of reasons for why I wanted to read this book. The first was that I am a twin, so there was something to learn and identify with regarding the struggles of constant comparison, the path to seeking individuality and the toll these things take on the relationship. The second was my interest in mental illness and that I knew very little of the daily struggles facing someone with schizophrenia.
What a gift these two sisters gave, not only to myself & other readers, but to the mental health community as a whole. This book is as much a story of the relationship between two sisters, as a documentation of what happens to someone's mind & life when suffering with schizophrenia. The voices, the hospital stays, the daily disappointments, the breakdowns, the psychosis, the medicines & treatments, and the countless doctors mixed with the ever-changing societal views of people with mental illness & the evolving medical practices make this book a time capsule in itself.
When Pamela had her first breakdown, it was in the late 1960's while away at college. Having a basic understanding of the evolution of mental illnesses in both the public view & medical practices will give this book more context. Though Pamela displayed classic symptoms of schizophrenia throughout childhood & adolescence, even as early as 6 years old, the awareness for this illness was not where it is today, nor was the compassion. Hindsight is 20/20.
It is great fortune that both Pam & Carolyn are talented writers. Hearing the same story, eloquently written from their differing perspectives, gave a holistic view of their lives showing how the disease not only wreaked havoc on Pamela's life, but on Carolyn's as well. This style leant itself nicely to the more common psychological issues of being a twin in adolescence.
On a personal level, I connected very deeply with a lot of what they faced. Though my sister and I will never deal with something as frustrating as chronic schizophrenia, we do share a lot of the other things associated with being twins. There is this memory that both Carolyn & Pamela share about getting ready for school. Pamela hasn't taken a shower for days & Carolyn is embarrassed saying "but people will think I am you" (or something to that effect). Pamela can only simply tell Carolyn that she [Carolyn] "makes it look so easy". This small memory brought back memories of my own - when my sister couldn't understand why she didn't feel like wearing makeup or using a purse. The pressures from society telling her something was wrong with her, and the guilt that I had for being "normal" reminded me of how Carolyn must have felt as she got older. In a way, this book has helped me recognize where some of these feelings originated, and achieve resolution through their story.
What a gift these two sisters gave, not only to myself & other readers, but to the mental health community as a whole. This book is as much a story of the relationship between two sisters, as a documentation of what happens to someone's mind & life when suffering with schizophrenia. The voices, the hospital stays, the daily disappointments, the breakdowns, the psychosis, the medicines & treatments, and the countless doctors mixed with the ever-changing societal views of people with mental illness & the evolving medical practices make this book a time capsule in itself.
When Pamela had her first breakdown, it was in the late 1960's while away at college. Having a basic understanding of the evolution of mental illnesses in both the public view & medical practices will give this book more context. Though Pamela displayed classic symptoms of schizophrenia throughout childhood & adolescence, even as early as 6 years old, the awareness for this illness was not where it is today, nor was the compassion. Hindsight is 20/20.
It is great fortune that both Pam & Carolyn are talented writers. Hearing the same story, eloquently written from their differing perspectives, gave a holistic view of their lives showing how the disease not only wreaked havoc on Pamela's life, but on Carolyn's as well. This style leant itself nicely to the more common psychological issues of being a twin in adolescence.
On a personal level, I connected very deeply with a lot of what they faced. Though my sister and I will never deal with something as frustrating as chronic schizophrenia, we do share a lot of the other things associated with being twins. There is this memory that both Carolyn & Pamela share about getting ready for school. Pamela hasn't taken a shower for days & Carolyn is embarrassed saying "but people will think I am you" (or something to that effect). Pamela can only simply tell Carolyn that she [Carolyn] "makes it look so easy". This small memory brought back memories of my own - when my sister couldn't understand why she didn't feel like wearing makeup or using a purse. The pressures from society telling her something was wrong with her, and the guilt that I had for being "normal" reminded me of how Carolyn must have felt as she got older. In a way, this book has helped me recognize where some of these feelings originated, and achieve resolution through their story.
October 22, 2020
Twin sister, Carolyn, a psychiatrist and Pam, a schizophrenic tell their story.
Unlike many fictional twins, Carolyn and Pam grew up jealous and resentful of each other. Told in alternating chapters written by each sister. Pam began showing signs of psychosis at age eleven, though she had odd proclivities from early childhood. Carolyn felt inferior to her twin growing up, not realizing Pam would rely on her as an adult.
DIVIDED MINDS was a sloggy read. Pam did a great job describing her psychotic symptoms and paranoia, yet they lacked substance. Carolyn’s chapters were dryer, yet felt more relatable. I’m a psychologist and interned in a psych hospital with the chronically mentally ill, many with schizophrenia. Working with patients is much different than dealing with them as part of your family. I give her a lot of credit for trying to balance both. I’m not sure I’d have the patience to do both with the emotional sibling rivalry Carolyn had.
I wanted to like DIVIDED MINDS, but reading was a real struggle. Perhaps if I hadn’t studied and worked with schizophrenics I might have been more interested, but I think the storytelling would have still been an issue.
Unlike many fictional twins, Carolyn and Pam grew up jealous and resentful of each other. Told in alternating chapters written by each sister. Pam began showing signs of psychosis at age eleven, though she had odd proclivities from early childhood. Carolyn felt inferior to her twin growing up, not realizing Pam would rely on her as an adult.
DIVIDED MINDS was a sloggy read. Pam did a great job describing her psychotic symptoms and paranoia, yet they lacked substance. Carolyn’s chapters were dryer, yet felt more relatable. I’m a psychologist and interned in a psych hospital with the chronically mentally ill, many with schizophrenia. Working with patients is much different than dealing with them as part of your family. I give her a lot of credit for trying to balance both. I’m not sure I’d have the patience to do both with the emotional sibling rivalry Carolyn had.
I wanted to like DIVIDED MINDS, but reading was a real struggle. Perhaps if I hadn’t studied and worked with schizophrenics I might have been more interested, but I think the storytelling would have still been an issue.
June 15, 2013
I chose this book for research purposes (characters in my novel are twins--boy and girl--and one is schizophrenic) and had high hopes. It's hard to give this book two stars because it's essentially a dual narrative, and I very much like one of those narratives. Clearly, Pamela Wagner, the twin suffering from schizophrenia, is a substantial talent. I was not surprised to learn she was a decorated poet. In fact, in her narration of her extreme schizophrenia, I felt able to see--to really feel, actually--how these delusions can feel very real. How they can have the structure and the plausibility of something real. The coolness of her narration heightened the emotions--the sign, to me, anyway, of an expert writer.
Carolyn, on the other hand, while more successful professionally and clearly quite intelligent herself, grew more unlikable as a narrator the deeper I got into the book. If I had been the editor, I would have suggested some judicious cuts. For example, no doubt Carolyn has been through hell and back and experienced torment that few of us can even imagine. However, her tone was self-pitying, self-focused, and sometimes downright petty. I think her plight would have provoked far more emotion in me if she had simply laid it out as it happened rather than reminding me, the reader, how burdened she was by her sister's illness, and then how ashamed she was for feeling that way. But the pettiness in particular got to me. For example, I tired of hearing her describe her sister's weight gain on one of the anti-psychotics. To me that's a one-and-done comment, especially since Pamela mentions it as a reason why she would quit the drug, but it appeared again and again in Carolyn's narrative. I was completely flabbergasted by her unfair treatment of her ex-husband in the book, when it had absolutely nothing to do with the narrative of her sister's schizophrenia. To lay out his faults--including her assessment of his lack of sexual prowess--felt deeply unfair and irrelevant, and I think it was at that point when I turned. I have no idea why Carolyn's editor at St. Martin's didn't save her from this mistake.
I was also flummoxed by Carolyn's seeming lack of understanding of schizophrenia when she has not only treated schizophrenics in the past, but is apparently a highly respected psychiatrist. When it came to Pamela, it was as if she'd never heard of schizophrenia before, was unable to make sense of what I think are fairly trademark symptoms--even after Pamela was diagnosed. I certainly believe that she had a blind spot, but I would have liked to have had her explore this blind spot in more depth rather than spend time on her blasted ex-husband or her new "lover" Johan. What was her experience as a psychiatrist like? What kind of psychiatrist was Carolyn? How did she approach her work? Didn't she go into this line of work because of her sister? It seemed to me that Carolyn limited her narration to her experience of phone calls in the middle of the night from mental hospitals, her visits to those hospitals, and the domestic issues going on in the background. I would very much have liked to have known about Carolyn's professional experience, her accomplishments, her approach to her work, and how that might tie back to her experience with her sister.
So clearly I was disappointed by that aspect of the dual narrative, and I suspect that early readers of the manuscript or even her later editors may have pushed her to include banal details about her personal life to demonstrate how Carolyn was the one able to live a normal life while Pamela had to live in this prison of her mind. I just don't think it worked. But I'm grateful they've shared their stories.
Carolyn, on the other hand, while more successful professionally and clearly quite intelligent herself, grew more unlikable as a narrator the deeper I got into the book. If I had been the editor, I would have suggested some judicious cuts. For example, no doubt Carolyn has been through hell and back and experienced torment that few of us can even imagine. However, her tone was self-pitying, self-focused, and sometimes downright petty. I think her plight would have provoked far more emotion in me if she had simply laid it out as it happened rather than reminding me, the reader, how burdened she was by her sister's illness, and then how ashamed she was for feeling that way. But the pettiness in particular got to me. For example, I tired of hearing her describe her sister's weight gain on one of the anti-psychotics. To me that's a one-and-done comment, especially since Pamela mentions it as a reason why she would quit the drug, but it appeared again and again in Carolyn's narrative. I was completely flabbergasted by her unfair treatment of her ex-husband in the book, when it had absolutely nothing to do with the narrative of her sister's schizophrenia. To lay out his faults--including her assessment of his lack of sexual prowess--felt deeply unfair and irrelevant, and I think it was at that point when I turned. I have no idea why Carolyn's editor at St. Martin's didn't save her from this mistake.
I was also flummoxed by Carolyn's seeming lack of understanding of schizophrenia when she has not only treated schizophrenics in the past, but is apparently a highly respected psychiatrist. When it came to Pamela, it was as if she'd never heard of schizophrenia before, was unable to make sense of what I think are fairly trademark symptoms--even after Pamela was diagnosed. I certainly believe that she had a blind spot, but I would have liked to have had her explore this blind spot in more depth rather than spend time on her blasted ex-husband or her new "lover" Johan. What was her experience as a psychiatrist like? What kind of psychiatrist was Carolyn? How did she approach her work? Didn't she go into this line of work because of her sister? It seemed to me that Carolyn limited her narration to her experience of phone calls in the middle of the night from mental hospitals, her visits to those hospitals, and the domestic issues going on in the background. I would very much have liked to have known about Carolyn's professional experience, her accomplishments, her approach to her work, and how that might tie back to her experience with her sister.
So clearly I was disappointed by that aspect of the dual narrative, and I suspect that early readers of the manuscript or even her later editors may have pushed her to include banal details about her personal life to demonstrate how Carolyn was the one able to live a normal life while Pamela had to live in this prison of her mind. I just don't think it worked. But I'm grateful they've shared their stories.
April 13, 2009
One sister went to Harvard and became a psychiatrist, the other, though also brilliant, was bedeviled by voices and has spent her life in and out of institutions.
The part describing their growing up years was interesting as the twins tried to establish their own identities. Each was competitive yet felt bad for trying to get distance.
The schizophrenic sister is unable to get her health or life together, but becomes an award-winning poet.
Later, the narrative bogs down when it seems clear that the sick sister isn't going to get better, despite different medications and treatments. It's sad and obviously hard for the well sister, but the story pretty much ends here.
It's annoyingly written: there's a big drama about whether one of the well sister's psychiatrist friends can or should treat the schizophrenic sister, and finally it's decided that she will. But then two pages later she retires from practice. What was that all about? It ends without much resolution for anybody, with the contrast between the psychiatrist and the bag lady. Pretty much like real life, but not a great story.
The part describing their growing up years was interesting as the twins tried to establish their own identities. Each was competitive yet felt bad for trying to get distance.
The schizophrenic sister is unable to get her health or life together, but becomes an award-winning poet.
Later, the narrative bogs down when it seems clear that the sick sister isn't going to get better, despite different medications and treatments. It's sad and obviously hard for the well sister, but the story pretty much ends here.
It's annoyingly written: there's a big drama about whether one of the well sister's psychiatrist friends can or should treat the schizophrenic sister, and finally it's decided that she will. But then two pages later she retires from practice. What was that all about? It ends without much resolution for anybody, with the contrast between the psychiatrist and the bag lady. Pretty much like real life, but not a great story.
July 14, 2019
3.5 stars. Extremely fascinating to read about schizophrenia from the perspective of the twins. It was also heartbreaking to read how again and again the “treatments” did nothing at all, or had such negative side effects as to render the positives moot.
This book left me with a lot to think about. It wasn’t a happy book, as so much of it is still up in the air, still something to be dealt with on a daily basis.
Good look into the world of mental health, psych wards, medication, family and mental illness and the continual struggle. Don’t read if you’re looking for something uplifting and happy though.
That said, it’s real. And hard. And something that needs to be examined more closely in today’s society.
This book left me with a lot to think about. It wasn’t a happy book, as so much of it is still up in the air, still something to be dealt with on a daily basis.
Good look into the world of mental health, psych wards, medication, family and mental illness and the continual struggle. Don’t read if you’re looking for something uplifting and happy though.
That said, it’s real. And hard. And something that needs to be examined more closely in today’s society.
April 21, 2014
An absolutely riveting memoir. Recommended, but with a caution for language. Very true to the patient and familial stories I've head in primary research. This is a must-read for anyone interested in understanding the experience of the person with schizophrenia. Pamela Spiro Wagner is a gifted writer and poet, and shares the gut-wrenching agony of her disease with brutal honesty.
May 20, 2015
It's a clear glimpse into a schizophrenic mind, and because of that an exhausting read. Many of the intriguing or universal details are glossed over in favor of a self-indulgent tone, which did not invoke empathy.
June 22, 2024
I enjoy books that are written by two authors with distinct voices and writing styles. It's such a unique experience to get to see the world through multiple perspectives like that.
March 28, 2008
One of the BEST books I have read in a while - It is the story of twin sisters , written jointly yet with
" two individual voices " . They begin their story in re-telling of events from early childhood through the eyes of twins - sibling rivalry magnified because of being twins and a deep connection / love for each other because of being twins . The back and forth writing style drew me in . I heald my breath as I read what one had written about a certain event or time period in their lives , anticipating what the other had to say when they shared their account of the same event / time period . It soon became appearant there is more to the story than two different perspectives - " Pammy " is diagnosed with schizophrenia . From there the story is told from the mind of a mentally ill person and her twin who lives through the horrors with her .They continue their back and forth approach to sharing their lives - one in the throws of illness , drug therapy , hallucinations and the other caught up by guilt , sorrow , anger . Such a sad story , but one that has you wishing the pages would never run out .
" two individual voices " . They begin their story in re-telling of events from early childhood through the eyes of twins - sibling rivalry magnified because of being twins and a deep connection / love for each other because of being twins . The back and forth writing style drew me in . I heald my breath as I read what one had written about a certain event or time period in their lives , anticipating what the other had to say when they shared their account of the same event / time period . It soon became appearant there is more to the story than two different perspectives - " Pammy " is diagnosed with schizophrenia . From there the story is told from the mind of a mentally ill person and her twin who lives through the horrors with her .They continue their back and forth approach to sharing their lives - one in the throws of illness , drug therapy , hallucinations and the other caught up by guilt , sorrow , anger . Such a sad story , but one that has you wishing the pages would never run out .
March 7, 2010
It seems wrong to say you "liked" or "enjoyed" a book about two sisters' lives of misery, but I certainly found it a fascinating read. It was amazing that Pamela was able to chronicle her schizophrenia in such detail and from such a young age. Both sisters were very brave to put this all into a book for all the world to see and judge. The only thing I would have changed about this book is more insight into the disease. Like, whenever Pamela was on an anti-psychotic drug that quieted the voices and made her not want to kill herself, she promptly went off it when not under strict supervision. Why does one choose that?
March 10, 2012
Really insightful and scary memoir that consists of a back-and-forth narrative between a pair of twins, one of whom is a schizophrenic poet and the other a psychiatrist. I think the childhood scenes were the strongest for me--with all of Pamela's hospitalizations it was hard to follow the chronology in later sections of the book. I do wish the girls' relationships with their father had been more fleshed-out--it sounds like it is--or was--a very abusive relationship that affected Pamela's disease course more than the book admitted. Overall, though, the book is brutally honest, and I look forward to reading Pamela's poetry.
October 1, 2013
Every time I read a memoir about someone with a mental health illness I always have this assumed hope that they will overcome/control their illness, find the meaning of their life, learn from their past, and they chose to write the book to show others that they can survive it too. This book is different. There is no pivotal breaking moment away from the illness. The author is in and out of psychiatric hospitals up until the end of the book and I just went on her blog and just last week she wrote she felt like she was rotting but she can not quit. There may not be a satisfying end to this story, but it shows the lifetime struggle with a mental health illness.
January 7, 2012
Pamela is a very gifted writer - Carolyn less compelling. Still, a fascinating look at twins, one of whom has schizophrenia, from both points of view. Read it especially for the chance to hear about how psychosis feels from the inside. Pamela, like many with schizophrenia, does not "admit" (or believe) she has the illness. Still, that does not take anything away from her insightful narrative. Carolyn is a psychiatrist, so her views are educational and emotional as well.
July 16, 2007
This book is alright. It forces you to really think about what it's like to watch someone you love suffer from mental illness. However, I don't feel I came away with much valuable knowledge from this book. I already understood that living with mental illness is extremely difficult for everyone involved, and the people in this book don't deal with it any better or worse than average.
August 4, 2020
This was a disturbing book. I feel upset after reading it. I would recommend against reading it if you might be triggered by getting inside the head of a person with schizophrenia, or by accounts of medical mismanagement.
It is also beautifully done. Carolyn and Pamela are identical twins. They grew up maybe a bit odd, but smart and talented, although Carolyn felt like she was in Pamela's shadow. But Pamela heard voices starting in childhood, and by college, she also started having paranoid delusions. She managed to survive quite a few years without the correct diagnosis, despite episodes of bizarre behavior and several hospitalizations. She also eventually managed to graduate college and start med school. From the timeline, it looks like she was over 30 when she was finally diagnosed with schizophrenia.
Her accounts of her hospitalizations and outpatient care (counseling, etc.) are disturbing. Parents were still considered the cause of the disease - Pamela's mother was told that she needed to stay away because she was the cause of the problem - and the drugs they had were not effective. Worse, few of the doctors, nurses, and other professionals were respectful towards her. Granted, she was, at times, withdrawn, hostile, and abusive. Even so, the lack of respect was horrible, and probably still prevalent.
In parallel, Carolyn went through college and med school, became a psychiatrist, married, and had kids. She didn't see Pamela often, but they talked on the phone a lot. And she was the responsible family member, trying to live her life and help manage Pamela's. So she had the guilt and burnout that you'd expect under those circumstances.
There's a lot more to the book. Pamela started writing poetry and got awards, and she wrote an award-winning story about the mental health system. She had some good friends, but was taken advantage of by various acquaintances. She tried many prescribed drugs, some of which helped for a time, and she quit her drugs many times. The most striking thing about the book is Pamela's frank descriptions of the voices in her head, her delusions, hallucinations, and thought processes. It's enlightening and heartbreaking.
Pamela and Carolyn are one day older than my younger (by 2 years) sister. I have identical twin daughters. I can't imagine what their lives and mine would be like if one of them had severe mental illness. My partner's young adult daughter does have schizo-affective disorder (which I believe is now Pamela's diagnosis), so I don't have to imagine what that is like. But her illness was recognized earlier, and today's drugs are better, so for now she's on a decent trajectory without the experience of many years of psychosis without effective treatment. Schizophrenia is a horrible disease, and our current medical and social support systems need a lot of improvement.
It is also beautifully done. Carolyn and Pamela are identical twins. They grew up maybe a bit odd, but smart and talented, although Carolyn felt like she was in Pamela's shadow. But Pamela heard voices starting in childhood, and by college, she also started having paranoid delusions. She managed to survive quite a few years without the correct diagnosis, despite episodes of bizarre behavior and several hospitalizations. She also eventually managed to graduate college and start med school. From the timeline, it looks like she was over 30 when she was finally diagnosed with schizophrenia.
Her accounts of her hospitalizations and outpatient care (counseling, etc.) are disturbing. Parents were still considered the cause of the disease - Pamela's mother was told that she needed to stay away because she was the cause of the problem - and the drugs they had were not effective. Worse, few of the doctors, nurses, and other professionals were respectful towards her. Granted, she was, at times, withdrawn, hostile, and abusive. Even so, the lack of respect was horrible, and probably still prevalent.
In parallel, Carolyn went through college and med school, became a psychiatrist, married, and had kids. She didn't see Pamela often, but they talked on the phone a lot. And she was the responsible family member, trying to live her life and help manage Pamela's. So she had the guilt and burnout that you'd expect under those circumstances.
There's a lot more to the book. Pamela started writing poetry and got awards, and she wrote an award-winning story about the mental health system. She had some good friends, but was taken advantage of by various acquaintances. She tried many prescribed drugs, some of which helped for a time, and she quit her drugs many times. The most striking thing about the book is Pamela's frank descriptions of the voices in her head, her delusions, hallucinations, and thought processes. It's enlightening and heartbreaking.
Pamela and Carolyn are one day older than my younger (by 2 years) sister. I have identical twin daughters. I can't imagine what their lives and mine would be like if one of them had severe mental illness. My partner's young adult daughter does have schizo-affective disorder (which I believe is now Pamela's diagnosis), so I don't have to imagine what that is like. But her illness was recognized earlier, and today's drugs are better, so for now she's on a decent trajectory without the experience of many years of psychosis without effective treatment. Schizophrenia is a horrible disease, and our current medical and social support systems need a lot of improvement.
October 25, 2020
Mental Illness
What a journey..An amazing look into how mental illness plays out in the sick persons mind. I have had some years of exposure being the owner of a home for mentally disabled adults. They were beautiful young adults hearing voices and acting upon the instructs. Hopefully medicine will continue to research ways to improve their lives
What a journey..An amazing look into how mental illness plays out in the sick persons mind. I have had some years of exposure being the owner of a home for mentally disabled adults. They were beautiful young adults hearing voices and acting upon the instructs. Hopefully medicine will continue to research ways to improve their lives
June 16, 2011
When I first heard about this book, I thought it sounded fascinating: twin sisters, one a psychiatrist and the other a woman coping with schizophrenia. The story was fascinating, but not in the way I expected. One sister doesn't save the other. This book does not have a happy ending. Instead, the story delves into the details of reality and the frightening alternate reality of mental illness.
This memoir, written by both sisters in a back-and-forth fashion, shows how schizophrenia destroys an intelligent, creative woman named Pam, who had the potential and the desire to become a doctor. Her sister, Carolyn, had the same dream. She was able to fulfill it.
Through anecdotes of her childhood, her teen years, and her adult life, Pam shows how her once orderly world transforms into her own personal Hell. She hears voices constantly berating and threatening her, yet she hides her illness for years. When she is diagnosed with schizophrenia, she spends decades fighting against doctors who want to send her to the back ward and coping with anti-psychotic medications that produce horrifying side effects. When medication subdues Pam's demons she writes, and she becomes a published poet and writer. I found her story much more interesting than her twin sister's story.
Although Carolyn becomes a successful psychiatrist, she comes off as selfish and unconcerned about her sister's welfare through most of the book. She thought her sister was just depressed for years! I didn't feel any sympathy toward Carolyn until the last few chapters when she finally started visiting Pam - they only talked on the phone for years - and tried to rekindle their relationship.
This book provides an honest look at how schizophrenia impacts one woman and her family. I recommend it to anyone interested in learning more about mental illness.
This memoir, written by both sisters in a back-and-forth fashion, shows how schizophrenia destroys an intelligent, creative woman named Pam, who had the potential and the desire to become a doctor. Her sister, Carolyn, had the same dream. She was able to fulfill it.
Through anecdotes of her childhood, her teen years, and her adult life, Pam shows how her once orderly world transforms into her own personal Hell. She hears voices constantly berating and threatening her, yet she hides her illness for years. When she is diagnosed with schizophrenia, she spends decades fighting against doctors who want to send her to the back ward and coping with anti-psychotic medications that produce horrifying side effects. When medication subdues Pam's demons she writes, and she becomes a published poet and writer. I found her story much more interesting than her twin sister's story.
Although Carolyn becomes a successful psychiatrist, she comes off as selfish and unconcerned about her sister's welfare through most of the book. She thought her sister was just depressed for years! I didn't feel any sympathy toward Carolyn until the last few chapters when she finally started visiting Pam - they only talked on the phone for years - and tried to rekindle their relationship.
This book provides an honest look at how schizophrenia impacts one woman and her family. I recommend it to anyone interested in learning more about mental illness.
May 7, 2008
Divided Minds : Twin Sisters and Their Journey Through Schizophrenia by Pamela Spiro Wagner and Carolyn S. Spiro, MD. is a memoir of mental illness and coping with a loved one's mental illness. The segments from both sisters - one with schizophrenia. one a licensed psychiatrist - describe the world as each experienced it often retelling the same set of events from each sister's perspective at the time.
The book is a fairly quick read. I found myself wanting to like them - and there are many things about them to like and to respect, but found their dependence on others to make them happy and the competition they perceived (probably really there) very frustrating. Easy for me to say, I know. That being said, the book does not sugar coat their individual difficulties with growing up as twins or with Pamela's struggle with mental illness. What I found fascinating, though is the fine line between a "sane" woman who has some issues and a mentally ill woman. That our brains are so fine-tuned. Amazing. I could go on and on, but don't have a lot of outside knowledge on the topic, so will stop here!
Recommended - I would say if you liked Girl, Interrupted by Susanna Kaysen, this is right up your alley. If you're looking for something that includes more of the scientific perspective or a clearer history of the treatment of schizophrenia, this isn't it - but it doesn't set out to be, either. Good interesting read for something different.
The book is a fairly quick read. I found myself wanting to like them - and there are many things about them to like and to respect, but found their dependence on others to make them happy and the competition they perceived (probably really there) very frustrating. Easy for me to say, I know. That being said, the book does not sugar coat their individual difficulties with growing up as twins or with Pamela's struggle with mental illness. What I found fascinating, though is the fine line between a "sane" woman who has some issues and a mentally ill woman. That our brains are so fine-tuned. Amazing. I could go on and on, but don't have a lot of outside knowledge on the topic, so will stop here!
Recommended - I would say if you liked Girl, Interrupted by Susanna Kaysen, this is right up your alley. If you're looking for something that includes more of the scientific perspective or a clearer history of the treatment of schizophrenia, this isn't it - but it doesn't set out to be, either. Good interesting read for something different.
January 9, 2014
This is a story of identical twin sisters. One has schizophrenia and one doesn't. The sister with schizophrenia writes well and tells her story very effectively. You can actually feel the mental confusion that she lives with. The other sister is a psychiatrist. I found myself wondering why the other sister agreed to co-write the book because she came across as a self-centered, whiny individual. Considering that she is a psychiatrist she seemed to have very little knowledge about schizophrenia and very little sympathy for her sisters condition. Instead, the focus was on how much the schizophrenia impacted her. Overall, it was an interesting read that left you understanding a bit more what it's like to live with a chronic mental illness.
July 5, 2011
This book is about Schizophrenia. Reading this book was an eye-opener. You have to feel for the people who suffer from this debilitating disease. Nothing is as it appears to them; there are always hidden agendas and ulterior motives. Her problems started early on in the the dark ages of psychotherapy so it wasn't viewed as humanely as today. What was done and not done would be viewed as a crime today. Her parents, especially her father, were not much help and probably contributed to an already bad problem. Her saving grace lay in her twin sister who stuck by her and tried to help. Please never let me or anyone I love get this traumatic disease.
September 9, 2009
This book is a really interesting autobiography by Carolyn Spiro, an identical twin with schizophrenia. She and her sister go back and forth describing their childhood and college years, into adulthood. It is really interesting to hear Carolyn's account of what happens, altered by her schizophrenia, and then have the gaps filled in by Pamela. There is some inappropriate language (which makes sense when considering the type of disease). It would be suggested for older students.
Reviewed by:
Katie Doering
Biology Teacher
Reviewed by:
Katie Doering
Biology Teacher
July 20, 2007
Well, one of the sisters is a far better writer (the one who is a professional writer, go figure), so she writes most of the book. I felt VERY empathetic to the scenes of schitzophrenia due to the great writing. But Pamela's jealous suffering is clear in her short interjecting chapters, and she covers for her sister nicely in the climactic episode, by which point she definitely isn't jealous anymore. This book wasn't perfect, but it's such a sad story to tell about yourself I forgive it.
May 5, 2014
Grood book that provides an insight into what it is like to have a diagnosis of Schizophrenia. I feel the book could have developed further with the other members of the family but overall an interesting read.
August 15, 2020
i felt like this book was very long, drawn out, and became slow. the authors were trying to convey an important, eye-opening narrative; i’m not super sure the message came across as well and hard-hitting as it could have. amazing story and two-fold perspectives though!!!
May 19, 2024
I've read a few memoirs about mental illness over the years, and this was definitely one of the better ones. Having this book written in two different voices (no pun intended) painted a very moving, visceral, human picture of what it's like to live with a severe illness like schizophrenia and what it's like to live alongside it. Giving both Pammy and Lynnie the opportunity to share their recollections of an event (often one after the other) helped make this a more well-rounded remembering - something that felt equally weighted between those who experienced it and those who paid witness to it.
The reason this didn't get a 4 or 5 star rating was simply that it could have been shorter. I know, I say this all the time, but I stand by it. As a reader, I don't need to hear about a routine hospitalization over and over again. I understand that it's part of Pam and Carolyn's history, their lives, but it's not interesting to me as a reader. Sounds harsh, I know, but what is a book if not an opportunity to be educated and entertained?
I also would have loved just a bit more of Carolyn's perspective in some of the earlier phases of their lives. Her voice came through more frequently in the back half, and I felt that grounded everything a bit more and made this more of a truly dual-authored experience. The push and pull between their experiences is what made this a compelling book to pick up, and should have been the driving force of this memoir as a whole.
After finishing it, I am once again reminded of how blessed I am to not be plagued by more severe mental illness than I currently am, and continue to hope for a world where medication, care, and treatment is more readily available and effective for those whose minds are a chaotic place to try to survive.
The reason this didn't get a 4 or 5 star rating was simply that it could have been shorter. I know, I say this all the time, but I stand by it. As a reader, I don't need to hear about a routine hospitalization over and over again. I understand that it's part of Pam and Carolyn's history, their lives, but it's not interesting to me as a reader. Sounds harsh, I know, but what is a book if not an opportunity to be educated and entertained?
I also would have loved just a bit more of Carolyn's perspective in some of the earlier phases of their lives. Her voice came through more frequently in the back half, and I felt that grounded everything a bit more and made this more of a truly dual-authored experience. The push and pull between their experiences is what made this a compelling book to pick up, and should have been the driving force of this memoir as a whole.
After finishing it, I am once again reminded of how blessed I am to not be plagued by more severe mental illness than I currently am, and continue to hope for a world where medication, care, and treatment is more readily available and effective for those whose minds are a chaotic place to try to survive.
May 10, 2024
4.25
This is Pamela’s book. I wasn’t sure why Carolyn was brought on as this wasn’t a shared journey. In fact, Carolyn writes of her twin: “Although she’s my best friend, almost all of our adult relationship has been conducted over the telephone. I think we’ve *both* wanted it that way.” I don’t know ANY best friends or twins who communicate only via the phone after age 18 … especially those who live so close by.
Carolyn is able to say how special and bright her sister was, how she was jealous, he she mocked her hygiene, how much she (Carolyn) struggled in her marriage, and how she alone finished medical school. Meanwhile, Pamela is all alone, rocketed from hospital to hospital, abandoned by her family. The irony of Carolyn becoming a psychiatrist and not recognizing severe mental illness in her “best friend” and twin for decades is just too much.
I am amazed by Pamela’s resilience and strength and fortitude. I cheer for her. Her parents don’t visit or care. Her siblings are barely mentioned. Shame on them all. What type of mother turns her back on a sick daughter? What type of father won’t speak to or about his daughter?
And yet, Pamela helps other people (not healthy ones, but still), writes award-winning poetry, paints, reads, and continues to fight the deafening noises in her mind. She is a remarkable woman, despite her spineless and embarrassed family. Pamela is the star.
This is Pamela’s book. I wasn’t sure why Carolyn was brought on as this wasn’t a shared journey. In fact, Carolyn writes of her twin: “Although she’s my best friend, almost all of our adult relationship has been conducted over the telephone. I think we’ve *both* wanted it that way.” I don’t know ANY best friends or twins who communicate only via the phone after age 18 … especially those who live so close by.
Carolyn is able to say how special and bright her sister was, how she was jealous, he she mocked her hygiene, how much she (Carolyn) struggled in her marriage, and how she alone finished medical school. Meanwhile, Pamela is all alone, rocketed from hospital to hospital, abandoned by her family. The irony of Carolyn becoming a psychiatrist and not recognizing severe mental illness in her “best friend” and twin for decades is just too much.
I am amazed by Pamela’s resilience and strength and fortitude. I cheer for her. Her parents don’t visit or care. Her siblings are barely mentioned. Shame on them all. What type of mother turns her back on a sick daughter? What type of father won’t speak to or about his daughter?
And yet, Pamela helps other people (not healthy ones, but still), writes award-winning poetry, paints, reads, and continues to fight the deafening noises in her mind. She is a remarkable woman, despite her spineless and embarrassed family. Pamela is the star.
Read
April 16, 2025I read this book for a group project that I'm doing in my Psychosis Spectrum class, which is mainly focusing on schizophrenia.
The story of Pamela and Carolyn was fantastic. It was also interesting to see their lives turn out completely different even though they are identical twins.
It was so cool to learn about how schizophrenia was treated back in the 1970s and 1980s and how different it is from today's treatment of the illness. When it comes to treatment from back in the day I was get a little bit pissed off for how so many people treated individuals with mental illness, especially schizophrenia so poorly back then, it almost makes me sick.
Now, as just something to listen to and learn about schizophrenia from two people, that is cool and fun. I liked how the twins went through all of their experiences with schizophrenia and related that back to their personal lives. The environment in which they grew up made it extremely hard for Pam to get the treatment she deserved.
Overall, this was a great listen and very informative about an illness that isn't widely discussed within the psychology space.
The story of Pamela and Carolyn was fantastic. It was also interesting to see their lives turn out completely different even though they are identical twins.
It was so cool to learn about how schizophrenia was treated back in the 1970s and 1980s and how different it is from today's treatment of the illness. When it comes to treatment from back in the day I was get a little bit pissed off for how so many people treated individuals with mental illness, especially schizophrenia so poorly back then, it almost makes me sick.
Now, as just something to listen to and learn about schizophrenia from two people, that is cool and fun. I liked how the twins went through all of their experiences with schizophrenia and related that back to their personal lives. The environment in which they grew up made it extremely hard for Pam to get the treatment she deserved.
Overall, this was a great listen and very informative about an illness that isn't widely discussed within the psychology space.
October 17, 2017
I really enjoy this book!! The book was very interesting. It started with a clip about Pamela's life when she was at her worst point during her schizophrenic adventure. But the book mostly shows Pamela and Carolyn's life, and how their lives compare. How Pamela's thinking compared with Carolyn's. I like how the author showed both sides of the story. Like crazy and logical thinking. I also liked how it showed how they grew up and what different routes they took, like college and jobs and their thinking through all of it. This book is definitely different then what I have ever read it is interesting and gives you a new look on life and other people's lives. I definitely would recommend this book to someone who likes reading in on people's lives and how they can be messed up sometimes.
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