What do you think?
Rate this book
Bitter Melon
Frances has one job in to get into Berkeley and become a doctor so that her mother’s ambitions will be realized. And Frances doesn’t think there’s anything wrong with that, until the day she accidentally steps into a speech class and begins to discover a talent her mother wouldn’t approve of. Frances turns out to be a natural at debate and public speaking. But to win in competition, she needs to say things she really believes — and to hide what she’s doing from her mother. And once Frances steps out beyond her narrowly prescribed life, she begins to question many things about the way she is raised. Why can’t she go to a dance with a boy who likes her? Why can’t Frances get a job, or have any money of her own? And most of all, why is her mother never happy with her? Frances knows she should be obedient, and that her mother has sacrificed everything so she can succeed. But when it’s time to take the biggest step of her life, will Frances have the courage to defy her mother? First-time novelist Cara Chow creates an unforgettable story of a young woman finding her voice against a background of strong cultural tradition and a mother whose ambition for her shows two very different sides to maternal love.
309 pages, Paperback
First published December 28, 2010
58 people are currently reading
1097 people want to read
About the author
Cara Chow
1 book45 followersCara Chow was born in Hong Kong and grew up in the Richmond district of San Francisco.
Her inspiration for the first book, Bitter Mellon, is her own life because she attended an all-girls' Catholic high school and competed in speech competitions. She was a PEN Emerging Voices Fellow in 2001.
She currently lives in the Los Angeles area with her husband and son.
Her inspiration for the first book, Bitter Mellon, is her own life because she attended an all-girls' Catholic high school and competed in speech competitions. She was a PEN Emerging Voices Fellow in 2001.
She currently lives in the Los Angeles area with her husband and son.
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 30 of 286 reviews
December 24, 2011
4.5 stars.
"That's the first time I've ever heard the idea of unconditional love outside the context of religion. In theology class, I always hear about God's love, about his loving us even though we're sinners. But the idea that real live parents could be unconditionally loving is completely foreign... How can anyone be loved not for what they do but for who they are? Isn't who you are defined by what you do?"
There are some books that really hit home. Books that you can relate to, so that when you're reading them you feel a personal connection to the characters or to the events occurring. For me, Bitter Melon was one of those books. In many ways this book doesn't deserve such a high rating - the romance was awkward and the protagonist a bit unbelievable at times - but because of how much I empathized with Frances, the main character, I loved the book anyway.
Frances Ching's goal is to attend Berkeley and become a doctor. That may not be her goal as much as it is her mother's, but for her the two are interchangeable. That's the case until Frances accidentally enrolls in a speech course and ends up loving it - for the first time, she's discovered a passion that solely belongs to her. However, her affection for public speaking conflicts with what her mom wants her to do. Despite Frances's past obedience to her mother, she decides to take a risk and starts making her own choices in life. This leads to a collision between Frances's own dreams and her mom's hurtful love - and in the end, Frances will only be able to choose one.
I know how it feels to be in Frances's position. To be afraid of disobeying your parents even if it's the right thing to do, to be afraid of acting on your own when it goes against their wishes, to be afraid of them in general. Every time Frances's mom compared her to one of her friends, called her stupid or fat, or hit her mercilessly, my heart ached. That's why seeing Frances grow into her own person by the end of the novel amazed me. Every time she told herself that it's okay to be imperfect, I cheered. There was one dramatic scene at the end where I cried unabashedly, because I knew it was something I should do but I don't have the strength to do... yet.
Let me make it clear: children with parents coming from strict cultures still appreciate them. Frances is aware of how much her mom has sacrificed for her and obviously does her best to repay that debt. Also, she and I both know that our parents only want the best for us - that's why they push us so hard. Yet when that familial love manifests into abuse, there's something wrong. You should never have to beat your kid or make them hate themselves to convey how much you love them. Never.
Overall, a powerful and moving novel. Not flawless, but the sheer strength of Chow's storytelling made those minor negative aspects almost disappear. Highly recommended to teens who have helicopter or tiger parents, and for others who simply want to understand those that do.
Thanks goes to The Dubious Seeker for recommending this book to me.
*review cross-posted from my blog, the quiet voice.
"That's the first time I've ever heard the idea of unconditional love outside the context of religion. In theology class, I always hear about God's love, about his loving us even though we're sinners. But the idea that real live parents could be unconditionally loving is completely foreign... How can anyone be loved not for what they do but for who they are? Isn't who you are defined by what you do?"
There are some books that really hit home. Books that you can relate to, so that when you're reading them you feel a personal connection to the characters or to the events occurring. For me, Bitter Melon was one of those books. In many ways this book doesn't deserve such a high rating - the romance was awkward and the protagonist a bit unbelievable at times - but because of how much I empathized with Frances, the main character, I loved the book anyway.
Frances Ching's goal is to attend Berkeley and become a doctor. That may not be her goal as much as it is her mother's, but for her the two are interchangeable. That's the case until Frances accidentally enrolls in a speech course and ends up loving it - for the first time, she's discovered a passion that solely belongs to her. However, her affection for public speaking conflicts with what her mom wants her to do. Despite Frances's past obedience to her mother, she decides to take a risk and starts making her own choices in life. This leads to a collision between Frances's own dreams and her mom's hurtful love - and in the end, Frances will only be able to choose one.
I know how it feels to be in Frances's position. To be afraid of disobeying your parents even if it's the right thing to do, to be afraid of acting on your own when it goes against their wishes, to be afraid of them in general. Every time Frances's mom compared her to one of her friends, called her stupid or fat, or hit her mercilessly, my heart ached. That's why seeing Frances grow into her own person by the end of the novel amazed me. Every time she told herself that it's okay to be imperfect, I cheered. There was one dramatic scene at the end where I cried unabashedly, because I knew it was something I should do but I don't have the strength to do... yet.
Let me make it clear: children with parents coming from strict cultures still appreciate them. Frances is aware of how much her mom has sacrificed for her and obviously does her best to repay that debt. Also, she and I both know that our parents only want the best for us - that's why they push us so hard. Yet when that familial love manifests into abuse, there's something wrong. You should never have to beat your kid or make them hate themselves to convey how much you love them. Never.
Overall, a powerful and moving novel. Not flawless, but the sheer strength of Chow's storytelling made those minor negative aspects almost disappear. Highly recommended to teens who have helicopter or tiger parents, and for others who simply want to understand those that do.
Thanks goes to The Dubious Seeker for recommending this book to me.
*review cross-posted from my blog, the quiet voice.
November 1, 2024
Although I completely devoured this book in 2 days some people would ask why I only gave it three stars. The reason being, France's relationship with Derek was unrealistic. I felt no chemistry between the two and thought of it as a stereotypical high school relationship. I also felt the ending to be bittersweet. Even though France's mom deserved what she got in the end I still pitied her. It just goes to show filial piety is very well engraved in my well being. I felt a great connection with this book. I was so attached to it because of my own Asian American background. I've always felt I could never amount to my mother's expectations, whether it be grades, my weight, or looks. I really appreciated that Cara Chow made Frances a little chubbier.
"So how do you know when you're a winner? Easy. It's when good is not good enough."
"So how do you know when you're a winner? Easy. It's when good is not good enough."
February 17, 2011
You know, I’m always pretty hesitant to read these books. Stories of difficult and overbearing Asian mother-daughter relationships a la The Joy Luck Club always seem to blend together for me after a while. Happily, while the premise of BITTER MELON is not unique, it presents Frances and her mother’s story in a way that worms inside your heart and draws out your emotions.
Ms. Taylor, Frances’ speech teacher, tells her that words contain great power, and so it is with this book. We may not be able to understand Frances entirely, who seems to miss that certain sort of “openness” that I like most about YA protagonists, but we are very much absorbed into her painful struggle to define where her mother ends and she begins. Frances suffers verbal, physical, and emotional abuse at the hands of her mother, and while hopefully most readers will not have experienced the same level of horror, we can all relate to the tensions that arise when our desires don’t match our parents’ expectations.
The plot escalates at an enthralling rate, and becomes practically impossible to put down at some points. No, there is nothing of the action- or adventure-novel type, but as Frances’ cover-ups of her speech activities continue to pile up, and her relationship with her mother becomes worse and worse, I was on the edge of my seat, nervous for her.
BITTER MELON is an incredible tale of an oppressed teenage girl’s blossoming, and has an ending that befits all of Frances’ struggles and hard-won triumphs. It is a book I would recommend to a wide range of readers, for its emotional, all-too-real portrayal of the dark side of mother-daughter relationships, and the power that one can find within oneself, with the right words and support.
Ms. Taylor, Frances’ speech teacher, tells her that words contain great power, and so it is with this book. We may not be able to understand Frances entirely, who seems to miss that certain sort of “openness” that I like most about YA protagonists, but we are very much absorbed into her painful struggle to define where her mother ends and she begins. Frances suffers verbal, physical, and emotional abuse at the hands of her mother, and while hopefully most readers will not have experienced the same level of horror, we can all relate to the tensions that arise when our desires don’t match our parents’ expectations.
The plot escalates at an enthralling rate, and becomes practically impossible to put down at some points. No, there is nothing of the action- or adventure-novel type, but as Frances’ cover-ups of her speech activities continue to pile up, and her relationship with her mother becomes worse and worse, I was on the edge of my seat, nervous for her.
BITTER MELON is an incredible tale of an oppressed teenage girl’s blossoming, and has an ending that befits all of Frances’ struggles and hard-won triumphs. It is a book I would recommend to a wide range of readers, for its emotional, all-too-real portrayal of the dark side of mother-daughter relationships, and the power that one can find within oneself, with the right words and support.
January 16, 2011
Frances' life reminded me of the many tales I've heard of my parent's generation of Jewish children growing up in places like the Lower East Side or the Bronx: their parents sacrificed and scrimped so that the next generation could do better, achieve more, and only certain schools and the highest grades, the most correct behavior was allowed. Who needs sports? Who needs dates?
That Bitter Melon is set in 1989, rather than 1939 (or earlier) is what will surprise readers. Aren't we supposed to be more enlightened now, don't parents realize that praise and encouragement are "best" for their children? And how can you possibly apply to college without a c.v. filled with extra-curriculars like volunteering and music? It was interesting reading this just as the Tiger Mom issue flared, as it highlighted the truth behind the story.
ARC provided by publisher.
That Bitter Melon is set in 1989, rather than 1939 (or earlier) is what will surprise readers. Aren't we supposed to be more enlightened now, don't parents realize that praise and encouragement are "best" for their children? And how can you possibly apply to college without a c.v. filled with extra-curriculars like volunteering and music? It was interesting reading this just as the Tiger Mom issue flared, as it highlighted the truth behind the story.
ARC provided by publisher.
April 1, 2022
damn as a child of an immigrant this hit to read. i definitely recommend to anyone who wants a look into a child of an immigrants life, without it being boring. the implication that you owe everything to your parents when they never treated you in a way that should make you feel like that. the emotional abuse. the way that from the second you’re born they act like your whole purpose is to become successful so you can be with them. they assume you’ll be by their side your whole life when they haven’t done anything to earn it. gaslighting. manipulation. toxic parenting asf. this book circles all these topics pretty well and definitely hit.
June 23, 2012
Every time I see a contemporary Asian-American YA novel, I feel a strong draw to read it, even though I've read some books that made me wince with its heavy-handed use of stereotypes or the sickeningly sweet after-school special treatment of racism.
After reading this book, I think I have a better understanding of why even as an Asian-Canadian, I struggle with reading these sorts of stories. Maybe it's because I was raised in a similar manner, with the drive to excel at school and to fill my life with extracurricular activities. When you practice piano for an hour or two each night, then you have to finish your IB homework or study for a quiz the next day, and then you have Chinese school on Saturday and then church on Sunday, there's not really much room for a social life at times. And who wants to read a story about an over-achieving Asian girl who is more of an observer than a participant after living that sort of life for my teenage years? But I think this book tries to address a stereotypical concept in an interesting way, brought about through the decisions of the main character, Frances.
What I enjoyed about this book was actually Frances' interest with speech. I liked the discussions she had about the importance and power of words, of finding her own truth. I liked how her speech resonated with people and she believed it as truth, but in the end her truth changed and the reality was that it sounded hollow to even herself. To be honest, I found her original speech condescending, but as she developed her skills, her final speech as valedictorian really rang with "Truth" for me and I could truly applaud for her.
Like other reviewers have said, I'm not sure I believed that Frances is someone with better social skills. She constantly says awkward things, behaves in a strange manner, is easily embarrassed, and reacts to her crush in a manner that made me cringe. Theresa, her friend, even though she is quiet and shy, appears to be a lot more socially adept to me as a loyal and supportive friend. Frances doesn't seem to have any friends other than Theresa. Also, the setting in the late 1980s-early 1990s was unnecessary to me. Was the purpose just to make it more difficult to communicate because there were no cell phones or internet? Seems like a few edits could have updated the story to be set in the present.
The romance didn't work for me since I felt like Frances and Derek never really got to know each other except through those brief interactions, and then suddenly they were holding hands and sort of seeing each other. The Derek and Diana interactions were also never fully explained.
I felt like that was one of Frances' flaws that never got resolved. For a book about finding the power of words and of being able to speak for yourself, Frances never asks Derek - Where do we stand in our relationship? What's going to happen when we go to college? What's happening with me and you? You and her? What about calling Derek out on the fact that he called her and told her not to come and then she went and found him with Diana instead?
Similarly, with her interactions with her mother. I was waiting, would have cheered for her whole-heartedly if she just said straight out to her mother "I don't want to be a doctor", and then through tears and frustration and many, many days or weeks of standing her ground, finally succeeding. Or when her mother says all of those negative things to her about her appearance, if one day she will finally speak up and tell her: "I don't appreciate all the things that you are saying about me, and I want you to stop." Instead of being all "my mother is a liar", let me just speak negatively and rudely about her instead in front of strangers and friends. She never once confronts her mother directly in private.
Also, the ending really bothered me.
It's only after years of moving out, becoming independent, learning about other people's childhoods, that I started to understand that my family's way of raising me was a way that was both good and bad. After becoming an adult and relating to my mother as someone who was also a teenager once, that was when I realized that a lot of what she said to me was the way that she was raised, that I couldn't blame her for that. I'm not able to control how she treats me, but I am able to control how I react to her. I am able to find words for myself to communicate with her, and to understand that even though she does give out advice still, it's my life to live. I wish that I had gotten more of that message out of this book. Or maybe my expectations are different from this sort of story.
This review has turned out to be more of a reflection on my personal life, and I felt that this book is a worthwhile read just to consider some of these concepts about different cultures and upbringings. What does it say about me when most of the things that Frances' mother says to her, I never even flinched from, because I've heard it myself or heard it spoken to someone else?
After reading this book, I think I have a better understanding of why even as an Asian-Canadian, I struggle with reading these sorts of stories. Maybe it's because I was raised in a similar manner, with the drive to excel at school and to fill my life with extracurricular activities. When you practice piano for an hour or two each night, then you have to finish your IB homework or study for a quiz the next day, and then you have Chinese school on Saturday and then church on Sunday, there's not really much room for a social life at times. And who wants to read a story about an over-achieving Asian girl who is more of an observer than a participant after living that sort of life for my teenage years? But I think this book tries to address a stereotypical concept in an interesting way, brought about through the decisions of the main character, Frances.
What I enjoyed about this book was actually Frances' interest with speech. I liked the discussions she had about the importance and power of words, of finding her own truth. I liked how her speech resonated with people and she believed it as truth, but in the end her truth changed and the reality was that it sounded hollow to even herself. To be honest, I found her original speech condescending, but as she developed her skills, her final speech as valedictorian really rang with "Truth" for me and I could truly applaud for her.
Like other reviewers have said, I'm not sure I believed that Frances is someone with better social skills. She constantly says awkward things, behaves in a strange manner, is easily embarrassed, and reacts to her crush in a manner that made me cringe. Theresa, her friend, even though she is quiet and shy, appears to be a lot more socially adept to me as a loyal and supportive friend. Frances doesn't seem to have any friends other than Theresa. Also, the setting in the late 1980s-early 1990s was unnecessary to me. Was the purpose just to make it more difficult to communicate because there were no cell phones or internet? Seems like a few edits could have updated the story to be set in the present.
The romance didn't work for me since I felt like Frances and Derek never really got to know each other except through those brief interactions, and then suddenly they were holding hands and sort of seeing each other. The Derek and Diana interactions were also never fully explained.
I felt like that was one of Frances' flaws that never got resolved. For a book about finding the power of words and of being able to speak for yourself, Frances never asks Derek - Where do we stand in our relationship? What's going to happen when we go to college? What's happening with me and you? You and her? What about calling Derek out on the fact that he called her and told her not to come and then she went and found him with Diana instead?
Similarly, with her interactions with her mother. I was waiting, would have cheered for her whole-heartedly if she just said straight out to her mother "I don't want to be a doctor", and then through tears and frustration and many, many days or weeks of standing her ground, finally succeeding. Or when her mother says all of those negative things to her about her appearance, if one day she will finally speak up and tell her: "I don't appreciate all the things that you are saying about me, and I want you to stop." Instead of being all "my mother is a liar", let me just speak negatively and rudely about her instead in front of strangers and friends. She never once confronts her mother directly in private.
Also, the ending really bothered me.
It's only after years of moving out, becoming independent, learning about other people's childhoods, that I started to understand that my family's way of raising me was a way that was both good and bad. After becoming an adult and relating to my mother as someone who was also a teenager once, that was when I realized that a lot of what she said to me was the way that she was raised, that I couldn't blame her for that. I'm not able to control how she treats me, but I am able to control how I react to her. I am able to find words for myself to communicate with her, and to understand that even though she does give out advice still, it's my life to live. I wish that I had gotten more of that message out of this book. Or maybe my expectations are different from this sort of story.
This review has turned out to be more of a reflection on my personal life, and I felt that this book is a worthwhile read just to consider some of these concepts about different cultures and upbringings. What does it say about me when most of the things that Frances' mother says to her, I never even flinched from, because I've heard it myself or heard it spoken to someone else?
July 8, 2012
This review original appeared on Clear Eyes, Full Shelves
It’s been a long time since I’ve been as emotionally invested in a book as I was in Cara Chow’s Bitter Melon.
It’s a difficult story of a Chinese-American mother and daughter living in San Francisco, yet it could be about any family where the parents do not allow their children to fly free, to find a life that will give the child joy and satisfaction. It’s about caging the soul of a beautiful mind as a battle ensues to find the sweet taste of freedom.
There are jewels of truth, of humanity, of hope and of sorrow glittering throughout this lovely book. Regardless of what touches your heart when you read, it will be found in Bitter Melon, including a beautifully-crafted story, realistic characters, a plethora of emotions, finely-tuned language.
Fei Ting, the daughter, holds two names. Fei in Chinese means fly. Ting means stop. Fei Ting tinkered with the meaning of her name, its nuances.
In Chinese, she thought, if she should try to fly, she would be stopped.
Her English name Frances means freedom. Fei Ting wants freedom, wants to soar with nothing holding her back but is held in emotional bondage to her mother. Her mother’s controls were built methodically, mooring every move and choice Francis sought to her angry mother’s dream of wealth and success via her own daughter’s efforts to satisfy her insatiable mother.
"You will makes lots of money and buy us a nice house so I can quit my job and tell your father’s family to go to hell."
Frances hears such phrases over and over from her mother’s harsh lips, as if she is being beaten into submission with the strength of words,
"You will become a doctor. You will support me, care for me."
"Francis has always been the obedient daughter, bending to her mother’s will, to her wishes. Imagine living the first eighteen years of your life fed by a vitriolic and hateful analysis of your qualities by your own mother. You’re not smart enough. You’re not pretty. You’re too fat. You’re ungrateful.
This is the way Frances’ mother teaches her child to achieve. Nothing she could do would ever be good enough. Never would she be allowed to rest on her considerable success or feel pride in her achievements. Knowing that she must always struggle to please a mother who only groans and says she’s not as sweet and good as others is the reality of the life Frances lives. Yet, her mother believes criticism will force Frances to struggle and fight to achieve material success and societal respect, therefore bestowing both upon the mother who taught her to claw her way to the top.
At dinner one evening Frances states her dislike of bitter melon. Her mother looks at her with lips tight and straight like a knife stretched above her chin,
"If you eat bitterness all the time, you will get used to it. Then you will like it."
Yet, wonders Frances, Confucius wrote,
"Vicious as a tigress may be, she never eats her own cubs."
Frances muses that,
"I continue sweeping around her in a circle, like a satellite revolving around the earth."
She feels the iron trap of her mother’s desires tightening, tightening into a struggle to breath and fly free of her mother’s plot for a life Frances does not want to live. Then she meets a teacher, who gives Frances a new vision of what can be: Words. Speech. Standing before others and speaking her personal truth.
Frances plays her teacher’s words over and over in her mind,
"Words are more powerful than things precisely because they are abstract. Words are invisible wings, medicine for the soul."
She understands that there can be other choices for her life, which begins a struggle against a lifetime of oppression. It’s painful, but Frances moves toward self reliance. Freewill pulls to break the chains that girdle her spirit and her heart.
Medicine—the career her mother’s fixed her mind on for Frances—is not what Frances wants. She knows this. Her teacher and her two friends, each in their way become her mentors, strengthening her and opening new vistas beyond a bitter taste of melon. One evening, Frances tells her mother the story of The Little Mermaid who wants to explore the human world. Ariel’s (the mermaid) father forbids her to venture beyond her own, but she braves the unknown world and lives happily ever after.
Upon hearing this story, the mother slaps her daughter, hard and across the face. Later they lay in their bunk bed, mother on the bottom and daughter on top. Francis feels alone, weak and unprotected sleeping a few feet above her mother,
"…as if she is a fire and I am a roast pig being turned on a skewer above the flames."
This is the crux of the story. A child’s desire to live her life, to explore the world while a mother’s relentless drive to keep her child under her control strangles and chokes with ferocity finally alienating beyond repair. Whether it takes manipulation, theft of the daughter’s assets literally and figuratively, the mother has no compunction about what she says or does if it serves her own needs.
Parents should read and contemplate the message Cara Chow delivers in Bitter Melon. How often do parents bind their children unintentionally to their past dreams, rather than freeing their children to reach for their own starry future, their own visions of what can be?
It’s been a long time since I’ve been as emotionally invested in a book as I was in Cara Chow’s Bitter Melon.
It’s a difficult story of a Chinese-American mother and daughter living in San Francisco, yet it could be about any family where the parents do not allow their children to fly free, to find a life that will give the child joy and satisfaction. It’s about caging the soul of a beautiful mind as a battle ensues to find the sweet taste of freedom.
There are jewels of truth, of humanity, of hope and of sorrow glittering throughout this lovely book. Regardless of what touches your heart when you read, it will be found in Bitter Melon, including a beautifully-crafted story, realistic characters, a plethora of emotions, finely-tuned language.
Fei Ting, the daughter, holds two names. Fei in Chinese means fly. Ting means stop. Fei Ting tinkered with the meaning of her name, its nuances.
In Chinese, she thought, if she should try to fly, she would be stopped.
Her English name Frances means freedom. Fei Ting wants freedom, wants to soar with nothing holding her back but is held in emotional bondage to her mother. Her mother’s controls were built methodically, mooring every move and choice Francis sought to her angry mother’s dream of wealth and success via her own daughter’s efforts to satisfy her insatiable mother.
"You will makes lots of money and buy us a nice house so I can quit my job and tell your father’s family to go to hell."
Frances hears such phrases over and over from her mother’s harsh lips, as if she is being beaten into submission with the strength of words,
"You will become a doctor. You will support me, care for me."
"Francis has always been the obedient daughter, bending to her mother’s will, to her wishes. Imagine living the first eighteen years of your life fed by a vitriolic and hateful analysis of your qualities by your own mother. You’re not smart enough. You’re not pretty. You’re too fat. You’re ungrateful.
This is the way Frances’ mother teaches her child to achieve. Nothing she could do would ever be good enough. Never would she be allowed to rest on her considerable success or feel pride in her achievements. Knowing that she must always struggle to please a mother who only groans and says she’s not as sweet and good as others is the reality of the life Frances lives. Yet, her mother believes criticism will force Frances to struggle and fight to achieve material success and societal respect, therefore bestowing both upon the mother who taught her to claw her way to the top.
At dinner one evening Frances states her dislike of bitter melon. Her mother looks at her with lips tight and straight like a knife stretched above her chin,
"If you eat bitterness all the time, you will get used to it. Then you will like it."
Yet, wonders Frances, Confucius wrote,
"Vicious as a tigress may be, she never eats her own cubs."
Frances muses that,
"I continue sweeping around her in a circle, like a satellite revolving around the earth."
She feels the iron trap of her mother’s desires tightening, tightening into a struggle to breath and fly free of her mother’s plot for a life Frances does not want to live. Then she meets a teacher, who gives Frances a new vision of what can be: Words. Speech. Standing before others and speaking her personal truth.
Frances plays her teacher’s words over and over in her mind,
"Words are more powerful than things precisely because they are abstract. Words are invisible wings, medicine for the soul."
She understands that there can be other choices for her life, which begins a struggle against a lifetime of oppression. It’s painful, but Frances moves toward self reliance. Freewill pulls to break the chains that girdle her spirit and her heart.
Medicine—the career her mother’s fixed her mind on for Frances—is not what Frances wants. She knows this. Her teacher and her two friends, each in their way become her mentors, strengthening her and opening new vistas beyond a bitter taste of melon. One evening, Frances tells her mother the story of The Little Mermaid who wants to explore the human world. Ariel’s (the mermaid) father forbids her to venture beyond her own, but she braves the unknown world and lives happily ever after.
Upon hearing this story, the mother slaps her daughter, hard and across the face. Later they lay in their bunk bed, mother on the bottom and daughter on top. Francis feels alone, weak and unprotected sleeping a few feet above her mother,
"…as if she is a fire and I am a roast pig being turned on a skewer above the flames."
This is the crux of the story. A child’s desire to live her life, to explore the world while a mother’s relentless drive to keep her child under her control strangles and chokes with ferocity finally alienating beyond repair. Whether it takes manipulation, theft of the daughter’s assets literally and figuratively, the mother has no compunction about what she says or does if it serves her own needs.
Parents should read and contemplate the message Cara Chow delivers in Bitter Melon. How often do parents bind their children unintentionally to their past dreams, rather than freeing their children to reach for their own starry future, their own visions of what can be?
June 25, 2011
Any book that’s put out by an Asian-American, especially if it’s young adult, I’ll probably attempt to read somewhere down the read. This sort of culturally specific/finding one’s own way out of their upbringing and therefore leading to a discovery of their own voice/identity is not high up on my list of themes I love to read about. But I decided to give it a chance.
Frances was extremely irritating to me. She was selfish, wish-y wash-y, and pretty dense for a lot of the book. I was quite happy when one of the characters called her out on it because she was pretty damn difficult to find any sympathy/root for. And I disliked how she let herself be bullied around by her mother when she kept saying how she was going to prove her wrong, stand up to her, and blah blah blah. Thank goodness in the end she grew a backbone and did it.
This is just my opinion but I believe the author took the stereotypical strict Asian parent and exploited it into an unrealistic and unreasonable depiction. I understand parents being hard on their kids because their schooling is very important. I had to experience quite a few long and heated lectures over my grades. And, yes, there are parents who want their kids to grow up to be a certain profession or have an important career but really? I highly doubt a parent, immigrant or not, would deny their kids an outlet that they enjoy/have fun in. Seriously? They aren’t evil dictators here. And I really doubt they’d beat their kids over it, even if they won an award in whatever they were doing. It would be a point of pride!
Therefore I have no idea what the heck was up with Frances’s mother’s portrayal. Sheesh. Talk about crazy. That is just furthering the stereotype of how Asians have uber strict evil parents that go nutshits over their kids lives. Haha. No. Absolutely not. It sort of turned me off the book whenever these scenes came up.
At least the romance was decent. The dude was sweet, understanding, and never pushed her for anything. They both helped each other improve their selves to reach their goals. It was a bit sudden but not terrible.
I liked how the title, Bitter Melon, or goya to a Japanese person like me, was used as a metaphor throughout the book. Bitter and difficult to swallow but in turn ends up being good for you at the end of it. Having Frances be a speech contestant was interesting, a different sort of aspect on finding one’s voice, in a more literal way. I’m not sure if her speeches struck all that much of a chord within me but I appreciated it for what it was just the same.
Not bad. I love the cover though. It's always great when an Asian is featured prominently on a book and she looks just like someone I'd see here.
Frances was extremely irritating to me. She was selfish, wish-y wash-y, and pretty dense for a lot of the book. I was quite happy when one of the characters called her out on it because she was pretty damn difficult to find any sympathy/root for. And I disliked how she let herself be bullied around by her mother when she kept saying how she was going to prove her wrong, stand up to her, and blah blah blah. Thank goodness in the end she grew a backbone and did it.
This is just my opinion but I believe the author took the stereotypical strict Asian parent and exploited it into an unrealistic and unreasonable depiction. I understand parents being hard on their kids because their schooling is very important. I had to experience quite a few long and heated lectures over my grades. And, yes, there are parents who want their kids to grow up to be a certain profession or have an important career but really? I highly doubt a parent, immigrant or not, would deny their kids an outlet that they enjoy/have fun in. Seriously? They aren’t evil dictators here. And I really doubt they’d beat their kids over it, even if they won an award in whatever they were doing. It would be a point of pride!
Therefore I have no idea what the heck was up with Frances’s mother’s portrayal. Sheesh. Talk about crazy. That is just furthering the stereotype of how Asians have uber strict evil parents that go nutshits over their kids lives. Haha. No. Absolutely not. It sort of turned me off the book whenever these scenes came up.
At least the romance was decent. The dude was sweet, understanding, and never pushed her for anything. They both helped each other improve their selves to reach their goals. It was a bit sudden but not terrible.
I liked how the title, Bitter Melon, or goya to a Japanese person like me, was used as a metaphor throughout the book. Bitter and difficult to swallow but in turn ends up being good for you at the end of it. Having Frances be a speech contestant was interesting, a different sort of aspect on finding one’s voice, in a more literal way. I’m not sure if her speeches struck all that much of a chord within me but I appreciated it for what it was just the same.
Not bad. I love the cover though. It's always great when an Asian is featured prominently on a book and she looks just like someone I'd see here.
February 17, 2012
Frances and her mom live in a small apartment in San Francisco's Richmond district. Frances's mom works long hours at a back-breaking job so that Frances can attend a private school and receive a top-rate education. All she asks for in exchange is that Frances do her very best in everything all the time. Frances is trying hard to fulfill her mother's dreams for her: to get high scores on the SAT, to attend UC Berkeley where she can study to become a doctor, and to embark on a successful career where she can care for her mother as her mother has cared for her. But Frances is beginning to chafe under the weight of her mother's dreams, and with the help of a computer error that lands her in speech class instead of calculus, begins to choose her own path.
I almost didn't finish this book. The San Francisco references were super-obvious, but not in a way that made me think, "Oh, cool! I've been there!" It seemed more like a tour book of the city. That, and this book has dated itself. In the first fifty pages alone there were references to The Little Mermaid, Aqua-Net, and The New Kids on the Block. Added to the large earthquake that happened on a weekday afternoon, I'd place this book in 1989 when the Loma Prieta earthquake shook the Bay Area.
I was also very bothered by the mother's constant criticism of the daughter; nothing Frances did was ever good enough. I sympathized with Frances and cheered for her as she started to make her own decisions about her future. I almost cried when Frances's mother beat her with the trophy Frances herself had won at a speech tournament, but I was glad that this book had a happy ending.
Like I said, I almost didn't finish this book. The pop-culture references from the late eighties dated the book, and the strong emphasis on Chinese culture without highlighting any of its beauties almost gave this book a "fictional memoir" feel. The same story with the same lessons has been repeated in many places (if you don't believe me, watch Ice Princess). This book isn't a beach read, but it is a good "see how authors are treating child abuse in YA literature" read.
I almost didn't finish this book. The San Francisco references were super-obvious, but not in a way that made me think, "Oh, cool! I've been there!" It seemed more like a tour book of the city. That, and this book has dated itself. In the first fifty pages alone there were references to The Little Mermaid, Aqua-Net, and The New Kids on the Block. Added to the large earthquake that happened on a weekday afternoon, I'd place this book in 1989 when the Loma Prieta earthquake shook the Bay Area.
I was also very bothered by the mother's constant criticism of the daughter; nothing Frances did was ever good enough. I sympathized with Frances and cheered for her as she started to make her own decisions about her future. I almost cried when Frances's mother beat her with the trophy Frances herself had won at a speech tournament, but I was glad that this book had a happy ending.
Like I said, I almost didn't finish this book. The pop-culture references from the late eighties dated the book, and the strong emphasis on Chinese culture without highlighting any of its beauties almost gave this book a "fictional memoir" feel. The same story with the same lessons has been repeated in many places (if you don't believe me, watch Ice Princess). This book isn't a beach read, but it is a good "see how authors are treating child abuse in YA literature" read.
April 9, 2011
Every once in awhile I come across a book that really hits me emotionally and Cara Chow's Bitter Melon is one of those books. It filled me with pleasure, a bit of sadness and a some triumph. The characters just jump off the page and the dialogue just flows perfectly. This story is set in the 1980's but you would only pick up on the decade once or twice since the story is really quite contemporary. I loved how the author took on such themes as tradition and duty versus independence and individualism.
Frances finds herself in that in between world of family values and that teen need for independence. She is expected to become a doctor and support her mother after graduation. These plans go awry when Frances ends up in a speech class rather than the Berkley worthy class of calculus through a mistake. When Frances finds a natural talent for public speaking and is encouraged by her teacher, Ms. Taylor, she comes out of her subservient role and truly finds her own voice.
There are some moments in the book where you will find yourself weeping for the abuse that Frances endures from her mother, Gracie. Gracie is set on raising Frances in a traditional Chinese way and only seeks monetary success for her daughter with no other options. If you have read anything about the Tiger Mother controversy lately, this book will give you the point of view from a child's perspective and how hard it is to live up to the expectations of the parents.
Gracie's best friend, Nellie and her daughter, Theresa try to calm down Gracie and help Frances through the abuse they see but can't truly act on since it is acceptable for the immigrant Chinese culture and for that matter most immigrant cultures through out history. Theresa truly grows with the help she receives from Frances' friendship and Nellie is just a fun romp with her enthusiasm for life. This is a book that can be enjoyed by all family members and should spark some important discussions about teenage life.
Frances finds herself in that in between world of family values and that teen need for independence. She is expected to become a doctor and support her mother after graduation. These plans go awry when Frances ends up in a speech class rather than the Berkley worthy class of calculus through a mistake. When Frances finds a natural talent for public speaking and is encouraged by her teacher, Ms. Taylor, she comes out of her subservient role and truly finds her own voice.
There are some moments in the book where you will find yourself weeping for the abuse that Frances endures from her mother, Gracie. Gracie is set on raising Frances in a traditional Chinese way and only seeks monetary success for her daughter with no other options. If you have read anything about the Tiger Mother controversy lately, this book will give you the point of view from a child's perspective and how hard it is to live up to the expectations of the parents.
Gracie's best friend, Nellie and her daughter, Theresa try to calm down Gracie and help Frances through the abuse they see but can't truly act on since it is acceptable for the immigrant Chinese culture and for that matter most immigrant cultures through out history. Theresa truly grows with the help she receives from Frances' friendship and Nellie is just a fun romp with her enthusiasm for life. This is a book that can be enjoyed by all family members and should spark some important discussions about teenage life.
March 21, 2014
“That's the first time I've ever heard the idea of unconditional love outside the context of religion. In theology class, I always hear about God's love, about his loving us even though we're sinners. But the idea that real live parents could be unconditionally loving is completely foreign... How can anyone be loved not for what they do but for who they are? Isn't who you are defined by what you do?”
Surprisingly, I really enjoyed this book. I thought I would like it but not be enthralled in the story. At parts, it was hard to read but I am glad I got through the hard parts to get to the good ones.
Her mother.. wow. She was so rude. She had France's life already planned out for her: what college she would go to and what job she was going to have. She verbally and physically abused her and that just plummeted her self confidence. She called her ugly, fat, every name under the sun. Some things were so hurtful. I couldn't imagine living with her and having to deal with her day after day.
I am glad I chose to do this book for my reading project for class because I will enjoy reliving the story as I go back to do the project.
This is not a very well known book and not many of my Goodreads friends have read this but I would recommend it!
Surprisingly, I really enjoyed this book. I thought I would like it but not be enthralled in the story. At parts, it was hard to read but I am glad I got through the hard parts to get to the good ones.
Her mother.. wow. She was so rude. She had France's life already planned out for her: what college she would go to and what job she was going to have. She verbally and physically abused her and that just plummeted her self confidence. She called her ugly, fat, every name under the sun. Some things were so hurtful. I couldn't imagine living with her and having to deal with her day after day.
I am glad I chose to do this book for my reading project for class because I will enjoy reliving the story as I go back to do the project.
This is not a very well known book and not many of my Goodreads friends have read this but I would recommend it!
December 31, 2013
I've got to admit, I didn't like this book much. I was extremely intrigued with the premise, though. The first pages were refreshing in their clear language and accurate portrayals of relationships and friendships.
And then Frances met Derek.
And everything started spiraling from there.
Derek's description of being a Greek God and his girlfriend - although her personality seems questionable - apparently has the beauty of a Muse. Although Frances is lauded by her mother and friend as being witty and charming, I don't even see Frances crack a genuine joke. Personally, I didn't see Frances as having the personality traits of being considered extremely intelligent or even interesting. This book captured my attention almost immediately but towards the end I started losing interest. By the time Frances and her mother fought at the end I really didn't care any more.
And then Frances met Derek.
And everything started spiraling from there.
Derek's description of being a Greek God and his girlfriend - although her personality seems questionable - apparently has the beauty of a Muse. Although Frances is lauded by her mother and friend as being witty and charming, I don't even see Frances crack a genuine joke. Personally, I didn't see Frances as having the personality traits of being considered extremely intelligent or even interesting. This book captured my attention almost immediately but towards the end I started losing interest. By the time Frances and her mother fought at the end I really didn't care any more.
April 28, 2015
Rating: 1.0 stars.
Oh my god. This book is fucking loco. LOCO. The characters are creepy as fuck. The ending was okay, I get it has a 'message' behind it and all that rich shit but I still can't help but cringe away just thinking about it....Everyone in this book is manipulative, selfish, controlling, robotic, inconsiderate, rude, and absoutley horrible. I'm absoutley stunned this has good reviews...but hey I'm not judging. I'm stunned by Frances's love towards her mother...after all her mother treats her horribly and I mean HORRIBLY! It doesn't even take a person with common sense to see this is not motherly love she has for her daughter. It's abuse. Cruelty. But everyone, apparently is fooled.
Oh my god. This book is fucking loco. LOCO. The characters are creepy as fuck. The ending was okay, I get it has a 'message' behind it and all that rich shit but I still can't help but cringe away just thinking about it....Everyone in this book is manipulative, selfish, controlling, robotic, inconsiderate, rude, and absoutley horrible. I'm absoutley stunned this has good reviews...but hey I'm not judging. I'm stunned by Frances's love towards her mother...after all her mother treats her horribly and I mean HORRIBLY! It doesn't even take a person with common sense to see this is not motherly love she has for her daughter. It's abuse. Cruelty. But everyone, apparently is fooled.
February 20, 2021
A nice easy read. Kept my focus and was overall a good book, just not great. I wasn't a huge fan of the love interest and I wish we had seen some more personal growth in the main character.
January 1, 2011
I'm not entirely sure why the book is set in the '80s. It makes the seem semi-autobiographical (which isn't necessarily a bad thing), although the '80s environment does make the actions of Frances' mother even more stifling. There's no easy way for Frances to get away, no Internet or cell phone to help her escape, even if only for a little while. I was skeptical of the sudden friendship with Theresa. France dismisses Theresa (rather unjustly it would seem) and then all of a sudden they become friends. It's a startling friendship because it's not one I saw coming and I guess it was more a friendship out of necessity, Frances' mother and Theresa's mother are friends so the girls decide to become friends too. The prologue was completely unnecessary. I think it should have just been incorporated into the story because it didn't add any extra depth to the story (or at least to my understanding of the story). The epilogue I'm a little more forgiving of but I wish the story had been closed in a tidier manner, thus making the epilogue unnecessary. The book also tries to address issues of class but it leaves those questions unanswered.
I admit after I did a WoW post for this book, I began to grow afraid that it would fall into the same old 'hard-working immigrant parent just doesn't understand their child'. Yes Frances' mother doesn't understand, nor does she want to try to understand Frances but it's not always clear that love is at the root of all that she does. This is an unusual book in that it details not only physical abuse (and the physical abuse isn't as bad as I've read in other books, Frances' mother slaps her around but thankfully, it never got worse than that) but verbal abuse. Verbal abuse may not leave physical scars, but readers start to notice that all the insults Frances' mother hurls at her are hitting their target and leaving a mark on Frances. Her mother tells Frances that she's fat and stops making her lunch, Frances accepts that she's fat and becomes listless. So on and so forth. To make matters worse, there is no easy way for Frances to escape. She shares a bedroom with her mother and is wholly dependent on her (her mother won't show her how to open a checking account or do anything else that she needs to learn in preparation for college), her mother searches her mail, and there's only one landline so her mother can intercept Frances' calls too. It takes overbearing to a whole new level and I admire Frances for not having a complete and total breakdown. I also admire the author for talking about this subject because while verbal abuse may not seem as bad as physical abuse, it can have damaging results (suicide, depression, etc.)
Bitter Melon delivers a poignant tale of verbal abuse. How much should we take when it's from someone we love? Especially since Frances is raised by her single mom and she feels that she owes her mom (her mother is constantly reminding her of all that she sacrifices on Frances' behalf). I could not put this book down as Frances' mother bore down more and more on Frances and I waited for Frances to reach her breaking point. There's no dramatic moment like I anticipated, but that wouldn't have worked with Frances' personality anyway. I also liked that the book explored friendships of convenience and how that whole matter was resolved. I almost wish the book had been set in the present day because the '80s didn't add anything extra to the book except for mentions of cassettes, President George H. W. Bush and Frances attending an all girls school. I really enjoyed the peek at speech competitions and I'm glad that speech did not immediately help Frances 'find her voice' (which I had thought would happen but I'm happy I was wrong). Just because you find your voice doesn't mean people will listen, you have to learn how to use it effectively and that's one of the crucial parts of the story.
I admit after I did a WoW post for this book, I began to grow afraid that it would fall into the same old 'hard-working immigrant parent just doesn't understand their child'. Yes Frances' mother doesn't understand, nor does she want to try to understand Frances but it's not always clear that love is at the root of all that she does. This is an unusual book in that it details not only physical abuse (and the physical abuse isn't as bad as I've read in other books, Frances' mother slaps her around but thankfully, it never got worse than that) but verbal abuse. Verbal abuse may not leave physical scars, but readers start to notice that all the insults Frances' mother hurls at her are hitting their target and leaving a mark on Frances. Her mother tells Frances that she's fat and stops making her lunch, Frances accepts that she's fat and becomes listless. So on and so forth. To make matters worse, there is no easy way for Frances to escape. She shares a bedroom with her mother and is wholly dependent on her (her mother won't show her how to open a checking account or do anything else that she needs to learn in preparation for college), her mother searches her mail, and there's only one landline so her mother can intercept Frances' calls too. It takes overbearing to a whole new level and I admire Frances for not having a complete and total breakdown. I also admire the author for talking about this subject because while verbal abuse may not seem as bad as physical abuse, it can have damaging results (suicide, depression, etc.)
Bitter Melon delivers a poignant tale of verbal abuse. How much should we take when it's from someone we love? Especially since Frances is raised by her single mom and she feels that she owes her mom (her mother is constantly reminding her of all that she sacrifices on Frances' behalf). I could not put this book down as Frances' mother bore down more and more on Frances and I waited for Frances to reach her breaking point. There's no dramatic moment like I anticipated, but that wouldn't have worked with Frances' personality anyway. I also liked that the book explored friendships of convenience and how that whole matter was resolved. I almost wish the book had been set in the present day because the '80s didn't add anything extra to the book except for mentions of cassettes, President George H. W. Bush and Frances attending an all girls school. I really enjoyed the peek at speech competitions and I'm glad that speech did not immediately help Frances 'find her voice' (which I had thought would happen but I'm happy I was wrong). Just because you find your voice doesn't mean people will listen, you have to learn how to use it effectively and that's one of the crucial parts of the story.
July 12, 2011
"Bitter Melon" by Cara Chow is timely. With the recent publication of the controversial New York Timer Best Seller, "Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother" by Amy Chua, which "...imparts the secret behind the stereotypical Asian child's phenomenal success: the Chinese mother," the topic of the successful Asian child is much talked about.
In "Bitter Melon," Chow tells us the story from the perspective of the Asian child. Frances Ching/Fei Ting lives with her mother (her father has passed away from stomach cancer) who works tirelessly to see that her daughter has everything she needs (including private school) to focus on her education, so that she can eventually go to Berkeley, become a doctor, and take care of her mother. Gracie does not allow Frances to participate in extra-curricular activities, have friends, or date boys. She is so hard on Frances, as to be abusive. She publicly berates her, beats her, and steals from her. In her senior year, she is accidentally placed in Speech class, rather than Calculus, where she meets Ms. Taylor, who encourages her to compete on the Speech team and eventually becomes Frances's mentor. Through this process she literally finds her own voice and begins to speak her own truth.
I found "Bitter Melon" to be a very powerful, compelling story. First of all, the story is unique in that the main character has many flaws. She is not a good friend, is very selfish at times, and isn't always likable. However, the reader roots for her because it is clear that her circumstances have caused her to be this way. It was refreshing to see a realistic protagonist who wasn't completely a "good girl" and doesn't always make the right choices. It would be fun to discuss Frances with teens. Also, I work with many first generation Asian students, mostly Hmong students. I have heard stories similar to Frances's story many times. These teens see what their parents have sacrificed to bring their families to America, yet they struggle with wanting to please their parents while at the same time wanting the independence to pursue their own dreams. "Bitter Melon" is rich in Chinese cultural values. When placed side by side with "American" values, a great conundrum is created for Frances and many teens like her. As Frances says in her final Speech competition, "It is like choosing whether to cut off one's right hand or one's left hand. It is like having to decide whether to save your drowning mother, knowing that you may both drown, or swimming to the shore alone, knowing that you can only save yourself." (There are a plethora of good quotes in this novel.)
Thematic content is strong here: family, friendship, meeting the expectations of others, body image, loyalty, speaking one's truth, the value of education, parenting, being a good competitor, what it means to be successful, child abuse, etc. And there are so many lenses through which one could look at this piece - the cultural lens, for instance. One weakness is that the book is set in the late 1908's, early 1990's - other than the dates at the beginning of the chapters and the fact that texting and computers aren't mentioned, the author does little to create the essence of this time period. This could easily have taken place in 2011. But this was only a minor flaw.
I couldn't put "Bitter Melon" down. If an author can make a round in a high school Speech tournament understandable and compelling to the reader, that is a feat! Since I work with many successful students of color like Frances in my Student Book Club, this novel will be one of our reads for the coming school year! Loved it!
In "Bitter Melon," Chow tells us the story from the perspective of the Asian child. Frances Ching/Fei Ting lives with her mother (her father has passed away from stomach cancer) who works tirelessly to see that her daughter has everything she needs (including private school) to focus on her education, so that she can eventually go to Berkeley, become a doctor, and take care of her mother. Gracie does not allow Frances to participate in extra-curricular activities, have friends, or date boys. She is so hard on Frances, as to be abusive. She publicly berates her, beats her, and steals from her. In her senior year, she is accidentally placed in Speech class, rather than Calculus, where she meets Ms. Taylor, who encourages her to compete on the Speech team and eventually becomes Frances's mentor. Through this process she literally finds her own voice and begins to speak her own truth.
I found "Bitter Melon" to be a very powerful, compelling story. First of all, the story is unique in that the main character has many flaws. She is not a good friend, is very selfish at times, and isn't always likable. However, the reader roots for her because it is clear that her circumstances have caused her to be this way. It was refreshing to see a realistic protagonist who wasn't completely a "good girl" and doesn't always make the right choices. It would be fun to discuss Frances with teens. Also, I work with many first generation Asian students, mostly Hmong students. I have heard stories similar to Frances's story many times. These teens see what their parents have sacrificed to bring their families to America, yet they struggle with wanting to please their parents while at the same time wanting the independence to pursue their own dreams. "Bitter Melon" is rich in Chinese cultural values. When placed side by side with "American" values, a great conundrum is created for Frances and many teens like her. As Frances says in her final Speech competition, "It is like choosing whether to cut off one's right hand or one's left hand. It is like having to decide whether to save your drowning mother, knowing that you may both drown, or swimming to the shore alone, knowing that you can only save yourself." (There are a plethora of good quotes in this novel.)
Thematic content is strong here: family, friendship, meeting the expectations of others, body image, loyalty, speaking one's truth, the value of education, parenting, being a good competitor, what it means to be successful, child abuse, etc. And there are so many lenses through which one could look at this piece - the cultural lens, for instance. One weakness is that the book is set in the late 1908's, early 1990's - other than the dates at the beginning of the chapters and the fact that texting and computers aren't mentioned, the author does little to create the essence of this time period. This could easily have taken place in 2011. But this was only a minor flaw.
I couldn't put "Bitter Melon" down. If an author can make a round in a high school Speech tournament understandable and compelling to the reader, that is a feat! Since I work with many successful students of color like Frances in my Student Book Club, this novel will be one of our reads for the coming school year! Loved it!
February 22, 2012
WARNING!!! CONTAINS SPOILERS.
1. The novel "Bitter Melon" by Cara Chow is about a Asian girl named Frances who is on her senior year of high school. She is poor, and lives in a small town in San Francisco with her mom. Her mom is very strict and puts a lot of pressure on her. Also, she works very hard to educate Frances well. In respond to that, Frances has always been a respectful girl who obeys what her mom tells her to do. She studies hard to go to Berkely and become a doctor as her mom wishes her to. However, things change at the beginning of her senior year when she accidentally winds up in speech class. In speech class, she gradually finds out what she enjoys and has talent in. She enters competitions and make accomplishments. In this process, she goes through multiple conflicts with her mom. There are problems such as Frances lying to her mom, her mom beating her with the trophy, her mom restricting her from meeting boys, and many other problems. Eventually, She learns to stand up for herself, and show her own feelings. Other people such as Derek, Ms. Taylor, and Theresa helps her to go through this hard time, while letting her develop socially. From Derek, Frances starts a relationship with a boy for the first time in her life. They go through confusions and miscommunications to finally know each others feelings, but they finally sort things out. From Ms. Taylor, Frances learns to find her dreams, and do what she wants. Ms. Taylor was the one who introduced her to speech and let her find her dream college. Lastly, from Theresa, Frances gets to find a friend that she can depend on for her life. Frances develops greatly in the book solving problems that she encounters, and eventually finds her true dream.
2. The main conflicts in this book her Frances' problem with her mom, and Derek. Her conflict with Derek was that they did not show each others feelings, and kept it to themselves. They both liked each other, but they did not know it and went through confusions and heart breaks. Toward the end, the conflict is solved by them spending time together, and promising to keep in contact even after they both go away to college. On the other hand, her conflict with her mom is left unresolved, though we can sense that it will eventually resolve soon enough. The conflict is that mom and Frances did not keep in touch with each other after Frances harshly left for college without telling her mom. At the epilogue, Frances mom sends her a envelope, and Frances calls her. Even though they did not work out problems, I knew that they would soon enough, because family relationships are unbreakable in my opinion.
3. I liked this book, but I cannot say that it is one of the best book that I have read recently. This novel did give me some teachings such as "your parents will love you no matter what, unconditionally", and "follow your dreams". However, there were some confusions in understanding why her mom acted the way that she did, and I wish that the book had finished with the ending that resolved the main conflict between the mother and the daughter. Other than that, I liked this book very much.
1. The novel "Bitter Melon" by Cara Chow is about a Asian girl named Frances who is on her senior year of high school. She is poor, and lives in a small town in San Francisco with her mom. Her mom is very strict and puts a lot of pressure on her. Also, she works very hard to educate Frances well. In respond to that, Frances has always been a respectful girl who obeys what her mom tells her to do. She studies hard to go to Berkely and become a doctor as her mom wishes her to. However, things change at the beginning of her senior year when she accidentally winds up in speech class. In speech class, she gradually finds out what she enjoys and has talent in. She enters competitions and make accomplishments. In this process, she goes through multiple conflicts with her mom. There are problems such as Frances lying to her mom, her mom beating her with the trophy, her mom restricting her from meeting boys, and many other problems. Eventually, She learns to stand up for herself, and show her own feelings. Other people such as Derek, Ms. Taylor, and Theresa helps her to go through this hard time, while letting her develop socially. From Derek, Frances starts a relationship with a boy for the first time in her life. They go through confusions and miscommunications to finally know each others feelings, but they finally sort things out. From Ms. Taylor, Frances learns to find her dreams, and do what she wants. Ms. Taylor was the one who introduced her to speech and let her find her dream college. Lastly, from Theresa, Frances gets to find a friend that she can depend on for her life. Frances develops greatly in the book solving problems that she encounters, and eventually finds her true dream.
2. The main conflicts in this book her Frances' problem with her mom, and Derek. Her conflict with Derek was that they did not show each others feelings, and kept it to themselves. They both liked each other, but they did not know it and went through confusions and heart breaks. Toward the end, the conflict is solved by them spending time together, and promising to keep in contact even after they both go away to college. On the other hand, her conflict with her mom is left unresolved, though we can sense that it will eventually resolve soon enough. The conflict is that mom and Frances did not keep in touch with each other after Frances harshly left for college without telling her mom. At the epilogue, Frances mom sends her a envelope, and Frances calls her. Even though they did not work out problems, I knew that they would soon enough, because family relationships are unbreakable in my opinion.
3. I liked this book, but I cannot say that it is one of the best book that I have read recently. This novel did give me some teachings such as "your parents will love you no matter what, unconditionally", and "follow your dreams". However, there were some confusions in understanding why her mom acted the way that she did, and I wish that the book had finished with the ending that resolved the main conflict between the mother and the daughter. Other than that, I liked this book very much.
June 9, 2012
Cara Chow’s wonderful debut really made my heart ache, not just for the protagonist, but also for the mother. I loathe the mother, wondering how she could put her daughter through everything, but in the end, I still pitied her because she did give up so much, and almost lost it all. Being Asian American myself, I really resonated with the novel, the traditional values and upbringing of an Asian mother. Everything I did, my mother wanted more, constantly critiquing me and saying everything she did, she did for me. I understood that, but from young, I was stronger than Frances: I resisted.
Frances as a protagonist was interesting and strong, smart, and I applaud the way she handled herself and her mother as the book started to end, and she has changed so so much throughout one year. I loved the speeches, loved the way Frances continued to improve upon herself, and I was so frustrated by the mother’s actions and her words. My mother was never this extreme in her criticism of my body and weight (she never told me to get plastic surgery) but words still hurt, especially when you’re looking for parental love and approval. The mother was so crazy, so complex—I hated her, I laughed when she got what she deserved, but I also pitied her—and Chow’s characterization of the mother was just so cruelly realistic. Extreme, but realistic. The emotional roller coaster ride had me gasping and wondering what would happen next and it was so frustrating reading about a girl with such similar characteristics and passage into adulthood as myself because all I wanted was for her to defend herself and realize she was much stronger than perceived. I just really loved the transition into adulthood, the maturing of the protagonist that started weak but really shined and grew.
The only thing lacking was the romance and the friendship. I was intrigued by the is it/is it not relationship between Derek and Frances, but at the same time, I was curious how they could have played this “chasing” game where they wouldn’t even talk/see each other for 2-3 months yet still maintain that deep attraction and connection to each other. I really wanted their story to develop, for Frances to find solace in Derek, for someone else to understand her family situation. On that same note, I loved the bubbliness that is Theresa, but I also really wanted the author to develop her and give her a back story and more prominence than being France’s sidekick!
Frances as a protagonist was interesting and strong, smart, and I applaud the way she handled herself and her mother as the book started to end, and she has changed so so much throughout one year. I loved the speeches, loved the way Frances continued to improve upon herself, and I was so frustrated by the mother’s actions and her words. My mother was never this extreme in her criticism of my body and weight (she never told me to get plastic surgery) but words still hurt, especially when you’re looking for parental love and approval. The mother was so crazy, so complex—I hated her, I laughed when she got what she deserved, but I also pitied her—and Chow’s characterization of the mother was just so cruelly realistic. Extreme, but realistic. The emotional roller coaster ride had me gasping and wondering what would happen next and it was so frustrating reading about a girl with such similar characteristics and passage into adulthood as myself because all I wanted was for her to defend herself and realize she was much stronger than perceived. I just really loved the transition into adulthood, the maturing of the protagonist that started weak but really shined and grew.
The only thing lacking was the romance and the friendship. I was intrigued by the is it/is it not relationship between Derek and Frances, but at the same time, I was curious how they could have played this “chasing” game where they wouldn’t even talk/see each other for 2-3 months yet still maintain that deep attraction and connection to each other. I really wanted their story to develop, for Frances to find solace in Derek, for someone else to understand her family situation. On that same note, I loved the bubbliness that is Theresa, but I also really wanted the author to develop her and give her a back story and more prominence than being France’s sidekick!
September 20, 2015
This is a very powerful coming-of-age story where Frances/Fei Ting, the hero-protagonist-narrator, is the daughter of a narcissistic mother. The novel follows Frances through her last year of high school and decisions about university, career, etc. after she accidentally finds herself in a Speech class (making and learning about speeches) rather than the Calculus class that her mother wanted her to take.
Throughout the novel the complex relationship between NM and abused daughter is dealt with in a very honest way, pulling no punches and giving little quarter. The book looks at Frances' other relationships (and sometimes lack thereof) and her journey in, sometimes literally, finding her voice in the world.
For me, it was such an empowering book dealing with a topic that is so real to so many of us but often ignored, and I think actively avoided, by authors and publishers. I think this book should be on the reading list for high schools. I think too that it is useful for children of NMs to see their experiences acknowledged in this way. The book would be an excellent resource for those of us with NMs (though please see my caveat below) and in trying to explain to others that their understanding of the world is likely very different from ours, e.g. that 'not that bad' really is 'that bad and worse but you can't imagine it'.
My only caveat: there probably should be a Trigger Warning on the book. The verbal, emotional, psychological, occasional physical, and other (e.g. financial) abuses of Frances' mother on her daughter are laid out with full detail. It is done well and done to support the development of the plot and characters as well as the understanding and sympathies of the reader. However, it can be difficult reading for someone who has been through similar abuses and is still working to get centred.
Throughout the novel the complex relationship between NM and abused daughter is dealt with in a very honest way, pulling no punches and giving little quarter. The book looks at Frances' other relationships (and sometimes lack thereof) and her journey in, sometimes literally, finding her voice in the world.
For me, it was such an empowering book dealing with a topic that is so real to so many of us but often ignored, and I think actively avoided, by authors and publishers. I think this book should be on the reading list for high schools. I think too that it is useful for children of NMs to see their experiences acknowledged in this way. The book would be an excellent resource for those of us with NMs (though please see my caveat below) and in trying to explain to others that their understanding of the world is likely very different from ours, e.g. that 'not that bad' really is 'that bad and worse but you can't imagine it'.
My only caveat: there probably should be a Trigger Warning on the book. The verbal, emotional, psychological, occasional physical, and other (e.g. financial) abuses of Frances' mother on her daughter are laid out with full detail. It is done well and done to support the development of the plot and characters as well as the understanding and sympathies of the reader. However, it can be difficult reading for someone who has been through similar abuses and is still working to get centred.
December 27, 2010
Frances, now a high school senior, is expected to become a doctor and do her mother proud, avenging their abandonment by her husband many years ago. When Fei Ting (Frances' Chinese name)accidentally gets assigned to a speech class rather than calculus, she feels exhilarated and scared at the same time, and ends up staying in the class. This forces Frances to be deceptive, something she has never done before. Frances' mother is out of control and can play the martyr at the drop of a hat (or some glass, actually, left from an earthquake) and hides important information from Frances about college grants and applications in order to sabotage her plans to get out of San Francisco and away from her mother. Chow captures all the angst associated with being forced to perform to someone else's expectations, even if there is no joy or appreciation to be found in achieving those. The subplots involving Frances' former enemy and now ally Therese, and the growing romance with a fellow speech tournament contestant, provide thoughtful breaks from the hammering she takes from her mother, both mentally and physically. Readers will be rooting for Frances to succeed and be able to choose her own path.
August 25, 2016
full review at Cracking the Cover
Parts of “Bitter Melon” left a bitter taste in my mouth, not because the writing was bad, but because it was so good. Cara Chow’s prose helped me invest in her characters, particularly Frances. And the way Frances’ mother treated her daughter really made me mad. It felt as if she was living her life through her child and burdening her with unrealistic expectations.
Books like “Bitter Melon” are important. They give us a glimpse at people and cultures we know nothing about, even if they’re right in our backyards.
Chow does a good job making Chinese-American culture accessible to a large audience. And the story is compelling on a number of other levels, as well.
Many will relate to Frances’ first experience with makeup and an unexpected visitor. And Chow hits the mark in both instances.
“Bitter Melon” is Chow’s debut novel. I can’t wait to see what else she has in store.
Parts of “Bitter Melon” left a bitter taste in my mouth, not because the writing was bad, but because it was so good. Cara Chow’s prose helped me invest in her characters, particularly Frances. And the way Frances’ mother treated her daughter really made me mad. It felt as if she was living her life through her child and burdening her with unrealistic expectations.
Books like “Bitter Melon” are important. They give us a glimpse at people and cultures we know nothing about, even if they’re right in our backyards.
Chow does a good job making Chinese-American culture accessible to a large audience. And the story is compelling on a number of other levels, as well.
Many will relate to Frances’ first experience with makeup and an unexpected visitor. And Chow hits the mark in both instances.
“Bitter Melon” is Chow’s debut novel. I can’t wait to see what else she has in store.
March 30, 2011
every family is not like your family
your parents are not always right or even good
you can make your own choices, but it might be painful
a well-written story, recommended for high schoolers, multicultural studies, or just as a quick afternoon read
LIKES
**the gradual, stutter-start romantic relationship
**clear-eyed descriptions of the embarrassing moments i think we all had as teenagers -- zits, periods, perspiration, social awkwardness, and occasional wardrobe malfunctions.
**vivid descriptions
DISLIKES
**the unpleasantness of frances' relationship with her mother. yikes. it was horrible to read the put-downs and constant criticism, the guilt and emotional manipulation. i sincerely hope that this is not based on the author's own experience, but it very well could be.
pg13 for abuse; otherwise squeaky clean!
your parents are not always right or even good
you can make your own choices, but it might be painful
a well-written story, recommended for high schoolers, multicultural studies, or just as a quick afternoon read
LIKES
**the gradual, stutter-start romantic relationship
**clear-eyed descriptions of the embarrassing moments i think we all had as teenagers -- zits, periods, perspiration, social awkwardness, and occasional wardrobe malfunctions.
**vivid descriptions
DISLIKES
**the unpleasantness of frances' relationship with her mother. yikes. it was horrible to read the put-downs and constant criticism, the guilt and emotional manipulation. i sincerely hope that this is not based on the author's own experience, but it very well could be.
pg13 for abuse; otherwise squeaky clean!
December 18, 2013
Being Asian, I could definitely relate to this book. Some of the things Frances' mother did to Frances were just horrible, but I also understood the possibility of it. Some Asian parents will go to great lengths to get their children to submit under their ruling. However, the relationship between Frances and Derek was very unrealistic. Why would the popular, smart, and hot guy fall for the chubby, short, and simple Asian girl? No offense meant to those who are in a situation similar to Frances and Derek's, but it just seems hypothetical. The conflicting emotions of Frances' (her not knowing whether to stay with her mother or to leave to the school of her choice) was so heart-rending. The book was so beautiful, but some things were a little fictitious.
February 23, 2011
Could not put this one down. Wow. I can not imagine myself in Frances' shoes. Great debut novel!
August 9, 2018
Usually when I read something, I care about growth, lessons, perserverance. I read this when it first came out and finished it quite quickly. It spoke to me, as I had done a similar thing with my life but with singing and theatre, or at the time, wanted to. But! At times, and if I read it now, I would be at a bit of a "wow, this life sounds unrealistically boring" but then I realize hey, it could be colour in the authors eyes and I just lead a different life than them. I wouldn't say a romance is unrealistic, but it definitely came outta nowhere... Kind of. Now I would like to see more stories about women not needing to be with a man to stand tall nonetheless but I was a middle school kid who was told some sh*t and times were different even a few years ago. Nonetheless I barely remember that except a few scenes of her interacting with him. I'd say, though, for a person it would be a nice breath of fresh air and perspective
I mainly rate it 4 because I tend to rate high for most things anyways, but take it more as: I know it could help some younger people, or be just a bit relatable. There are many many books to look into, of course for this audience that relates.. Id hope. But! I enjoyed seeing somebody grow into their own path as a kid, where crap didnt blow up for her wanting to being herself. Woo! Bit of spoilers? Not sure. Details are good tho, so as usual I'd say just skim a good amount of it, read some reviews, and see what ya think ;)
Overall: Her growth in strength subtly emerges throughout this book, but it speaks volumes for those who need it. We can realize we're doing the same, similar things especially veering away from parents expectations academically to nurute our strengths, and know that put paths have only just began. Shiet she made a book on that transitionary period in the character's life #wearebookworthytoo ja feel? ;)
I mainly rate it 4 because I tend to rate high for most things anyways, but take it more as: I know it could help some younger people, or be just a bit relatable. There are many many books to look into, of course for this audience that relates.. Id hope. But! I enjoyed seeing somebody grow into their own path as a kid, where crap didnt blow up for her wanting to being herself. Woo! Bit of spoilers? Not sure. Details are good tho, so as usual I'd say just skim a good amount of it, read some reviews, and see what ya think ;)
Overall: Her growth in strength subtly emerges throughout this book, but it speaks volumes for those who need it. We can realize we're doing the same, similar things especially veering away from parents expectations academically to nurute our strengths, and know that put paths have only just began. Shiet she made a book on that transitionary period in the character's life #wearebookworthytoo ja feel? ;)
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
September 23, 2023
Lawd this was hard to read! Not because the writing was bad or anything, but more because of the emotional abuse/physical abuse/manipulation/gaslighting that happens. It revolves around Asian immigrant characters, mother/daughter dynamics, and plenty of stereotypes that overachieving Asian children often endure (endless school curricular activities, focus on academics, comparison with better friends, etc.).
I picked this up because I thought this was a YA book, and in some ways the writing is simplistic enough to be YA. There wasn't much depth to the book or the characters, it felt very show-and-tell instead of immersive. There wasn't much insight into the characters other than what you're just told, and the ending was just SO rushed and abrupt - But at the same time, you could feel the pain of Frances dealing with her mother and friends that are better than her, and the awkwardness of being that teenage age & dealing with your first crush.
Anyway. It's not YA. It felt like a memoir being written, and once the Author had gotten the catharsis of spilling her emotions out in words, the ending didn't really matter anymore.
I picked this up because I thought this was a YA book, and in some ways the writing is simplistic enough to be YA. There wasn't much depth to the book or the characters, it felt very show-and-tell instead of immersive. There wasn't much insight into the characters other than what you're just told, and the ending was just SO rushed and abrupt - But at the same time, you could feel the pain of Frances dealing with her mother and friends that are better than her, and the awkwardness of being that teenage age & dealing with your first crush.
Anyway. It's not YA. It felt like a memoir being written, and once the Author had gotten the catharsis of spilling her emotions out in words, the ending didn't really matter anymore.
June 29, 2017
This coming of age story took me on a wild ride, just like the best roller coaster imaginable. Frances wants to live up to her mother's high expectations, but she can never be good enough. She gradually realizes that to find herself, she must escape from her mother's oppressive iron grip.
The story focuses on the rebellious steps that Frances takes to achieve her own goals, not her mother's goals. The Chinese tradition figures heavily in Frances' hesitation to venture out of the jail her mother has constructed around her since her infancy, symbolized by the tiny bracelets in the bank deposit box that Frances recognizes from her childhood.
Each time that Frances breaks a barrier, she gets stronger and more daring in the battle for her independence. Her mother Gracie is a formidable and cunning foe, but Frances is determined to outmaneuver her at any cost. Her friend Theresa supports Frances in her skirmishes by covering her deception. Derek the unlikely boyfriend provides validation for Frances' self worth. Speech teacher Ms. Taylor is the compelling authority figure that helps Frances realize her personal strengths.
Ms. Chow should be commended for her convincing story that takes the reader from sympathizing with the sacrificing and suffering mother to cheering for the heroic daughter.
The story focuses on the rebellious steps that Frances takes to achieve her own goals, not her mother's goals. The Chinese tradition figures heavily in Frances' hesitation to venture out of the jail her mother has constructed around her since her infancy, symbolized by the tiny bracelets in the bank deposit box that Frances recognizes from her childhood.
Each time that Frances breaks a barrier, she gets stronger and more daring in the battle for her independence. Her mother Gracie is a formidable and cunning foe, but Frances is determined to outmaneuver her at any cost. Her friend Theresa supports Frances in her skirmishes by covering her deception. Derek the unlikely boyfriend provides validation for Frances' self worth. Speech teacher Ms. Taylor is the compelling authority figure that helps Frances realize her personal strengths.
Ms. Chow should be commended for her convincing story that takes the reader from sympathizing with the sacrificing and suffering mother to cheering for the heroic daughter.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
March 23, 2020
I can’t personally find anything to criticize about this. A lot of reviewers criticized the portrayal of the mom, but there are parents of all races out there who abuse their children, are controlling, and come up with excuses why it’s ok. To me it didn’t matter if she was an Asian mother, though I’m sure there are some out there who can empathize with a similar situation in Asian families. Some criticized that Derek and Frances couldn’t be into each other, but I have seen many couples who seem “mismatched” in the looks department. Who am I to judge if they want each other? I didn’t find Frances naive either-if her mother has chosen to keep her in the dark about money and other things a parents should typically teach, then she won’t know how to handle those subjects. Again, parents exist who try to keep their children dependent on them. There are parents out there who call their children’s employers on their behalf even when they are adults. All of these issues were wrapped up into one character. Still didn’t seem far-fetched to me. I thought it was a great book.
May 12, 2019
I appreciated a book about Chinese Americans and the cultural expectations placed on first generation children to succeed especially when the parents have worked for hard for the children. I saw a lot of my own parents reflected in the mother however, as critical as my parents could be, this mother was clearly abusive crossing the line from overbearing and pushy to emotionally and physically damaging and unfairly blamed her daughter for mistakes she made in her own life as well as assuming her daughter was doomed to repeat the same mistakes.
This was an occasionally painful book to read bc of the abusive nature of Frances’ mother. I didn’t think it was bad but i didn’t really like Frances very much but rather read this book to see how the relationship and her mother would end up.
My favorite part of the book was the shout to Scripps which is the college next to my alma mater. :)
This was an occasionally painful book to read bc of the abusive nature of Frances’ mother. I didn’t think it was bad but i didn’t really like Frances very much but rather read this book to see how the relationship and her mother would end up.
My favorite part of the book was the shout to Scripps which is the college next to my alma mater. :)
April 23, 2024
This book wasn't horrible... but it wasn't very good either. It was criminally boring and it felt like I was reading, just reading, not imagining or watching. The characters were fine, I think Frances acted like the petty high school senior she was, which is not a bad thing but she was a little obnoxious. Her mother was a manipulative nightmare and the friends were enablers. I'm glad the girl stuck up for herself but the book was just not great. It all seemed very comically juvenile. It seems like a book for a much younger audience, very middle school. I will definitely forget I read this in like 3 months. Absolutely nothing special, in my opinion. Maybe I just don't get it, maybe I'm not resonating with the characters enough. I don't know, not my cup of tea at all.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 286 reviews