دی‍روز گ‍ری‍س‍ت‍م‌: درس‌ه‍ای‍ی‌ از زن‍دگ‍ی‌ و ع‍ش‍ق‌ ورزی‍دن‌

by Iyanla Vanzant, منصوره وحدتی احمدزاده (Translator)

What is the lesson in abuse, neglect, abandonment, rejection?
What is the lesson when you lose someone you really love?
Just what are the lessons of life's hard times?
Bestselling author Iyanla Vanzant has had an amazing and difficult life -- one of great challenges that unmasked her wonderful gifts and led to wisdom gained. In this simple book, she uses her own personal experiences to show how life's hardships can be re-languaged and re-visioned to become lessons that teach us as we grow, heal, and learn to love. The pain of the past does not have to be today's reality. Iyanla Vanzant is an example of how yesterday's tears become the seeds of today's hope, renewal, and strength.

Genres: Self Help, Nonfiction, Spirituality, Inspirational, Memoir, Autobiography, Personal Development

335 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 1998

About the author

In Peace From Broken Pieces New York Times best-selling author Iyanla Vanzant she recounts the last decade of her life and the spiritual lessons learnedfrom the price of success during her meteoric rise as a TV celebrity on Oprah, the Iyanla TV show (produced by Barbara Walters), to the dissolution of her marriage and her daughters 15 months of illness and death on Christmas day. Like a phoenix rising from the ashes, Iyanla shares why everything we need to learn is reflected in our relationships and the strength and wisdom she has gained by supporting others in their journeys to make sense out of the puzzle pieces of their lives.
"

Reviews

[Courtney(Bring on the Suspense) · Rating 5 out of 5]

Another great one by Iyanla.

[David Jay · Rating 3 out of 5]

I saw Iyanla speak at the Javits Center in 1999. It was truly a life changing experience, just incredible. I think I started this book the next day and adored it. Re-reading it now nine years later, I realize that Iyanla's lecture was amazing and I think the book, which is good but not amazing, got lumped into the whole experience for me.
This book taught me many things I needed to learn. The lessons are profound. But the book meanders and much of the writing is weak. The whole conceit of Iyanla taking a bath while remembering the parts of her past which require healing becomes very silly very quickly. My friend Mellie and I read the book together and had ongoing jokes about Iyanla's hours long bath which was followed by a shower, which was followed by another bath, etc.
Iyanla is a wise teacher and I'm interested in anything she has to say, anything she writes. I prefer her audiobooks to her written books. Her speaking voice, like her message, is very powerful.

[Camille · Rating 4 out of 5]

I loved this story!

I true tale of overcoming challenges and leaving your past behind.
Though it is categorized as a self help book I didn't take it that way. I see it more of a moving memoir and a personal step in Vanzant's growth.

It took me a bit longer to read than normal because I really wanted to internalize everything taught in this book and try to find parallels to my own life (There were quite a few!) .

[Kendall · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is very real. And Iyanla Vanzant is like the mama every girl needs to tell her what to and what not to do, because she has been there! Yesterday I cried while reading Yesterday I Cried. If you've ever made mistakes in your life, add this to your reading list!

[Author-suchalady Blackheart · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved the original and learned alot from it she told some of my story in this book but she also gave me the courage to write my own story and live my on life and be myself. I pillared off the back of Iyanla Vanzant

I will be re reading the orginal book when i get a hold of it

[Tam Owens · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a book everyone should read!!

[Tiffany · Rating 2 out of 5]

I love Iyanla Vanzant, but I did not like this book. It is basically an autobiography, and Iyanla has a very depressing life. Not only is it a depressing read, it is also boring. She is honest with her story, but she tells it in a clinical way. It is strange to read about some horrific events and feel no emotions from Iyanla. If you don't already love her, I don't think you will enjoy this book.

[Shalonda Williams-Lynard · Rating 5 out of 5]

Reading this book was such a blessed experience. I find that sharing in the process of someones journey is something special indeed. I had moments of reflection. I had moments of inspiration. I had moments of sadness. I had moments of enlightenment. I love this read and would encourage others to share in the experience of reading it.

[Baratang · Rating 3 out of 5]

Only GOD could have made Rhonda survive her grandmother's brutality and cruelty. I read details of her abose with difficulty and when I finally learned how old she was when her skin was ripped off her back, I sobbed.
Her step mother was wonderful and I couldn't help but wonder why men would abuse such good women, and why women gave into the emotional and sometimes physical abuse. The characters may have been born and bred in the US, but Africa was still in them. As an African, grandma's religious practices reminded me of the African apostolic church, where Christianity and Africanism co-existed and formed a new religion. Iyanla's mentor for her calling also practiced things that are our daily bread here. It was shocking though, that at 17, Rhonda had already given birth to 4 children. Her choice of men also made me wonder if there was a deep psychological problem with her. How she survived the beatings, I don't know. He letter to her son in jail was quite something. All in all, I believe that when someone hangs their linen so openly for the world to see, they are truly done with their old ways and will never look back again.

[Lana · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is one of the most heart-felt, soul-cleansing, inspiring books I've ever read. I love anything Iyanla writes, but this book is so honest and vulnerable that there aren't enough words to describe the emotions it brought out in me.

[Hadesah · Rating 4 out of 5]

You can undersand a person better once you know their whole story

[Lorraine · Rating 5 out of 5]

Amazing! Transformed my life!!

[Crystal · Rating 1 out of 5]

I like watching Iyanla's talks about life lessons so naturally, I thought I would enjoy her books as well. Not so for this particular one...

First of all, the chapters are all titled "What's the lesson when..." so I assumed this would be more of a self-help book similar to the "life lessons" talks she gives. I soon found that it was more a collection of her life stories that, in the end, didn't seem to answer the chapter-heading question of what the take-away lesson was supposed to be, (other than pointing out that life can be very hard.)

Maybe I didn't give it a fair chance. I got perhaps 70-80 pages in and I turned it back in. Maybe it talked about the take-away for all of this toward the end of the book. Maybe it was more inspirational the further in you got, but the beginning just seemed to me like she was focusing on one bad story after another and was consistently frustrating and depressing. Maybe I missed the point entirely and it was up to the reader to determine what the take-away lesson from all this was supposed to be. I just didnt get out of it what I thought I would.

In any case, I felt that she made a strange choice with her writing style, (a good portion of it was in the third person representing her former self before she took on the personality and name of "Iyanla",) and it made for a strange experience "wading" through all that text. The reconciling between the "old" self and "new" self was handled in a very odd way. I was left a bit lost, wondering what the point was, and while I felt sorry for her struggles, this book began to wear on me and seemed like a downer after a while. It didn't feel quite like a linear autobiography, but it didn't quite feel like a self-help book, either.

I'd like to perhaps try some of her other books. I think I would enjoy "In the Meantime" more. I just don't think this was the book for me. It seems to me that Iyanla, to me, speaks far better than she writes.

[Riya · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was an amazing book. AMAZING!

I picked it up on a whim while I was browsing around in my local town library.

I saw the name Vanzant on the cover and remembered seeing a lady with this name on one of the Oprah show episodes a year ago. I was curious about this lady so when I found out she was the author of this colorful book, I had to pick it up and read it.

It was good! It was raw and truthful and in your face. The messages in this book are LOUD and you have to be receptive to the lessons taught in this book - it is worth it, I promise you.

Iyanla is not afraid to lay it all out. She describes her life in the projects and how she got out. (can I just say that this memoir reminded me of A Piece of Cake by Cupcake Brown - also a powerful book that everyone should read). She talks about growing up without a mother (her mom died from breast cancer), with a dad that wasn't around, being beaten by her grandmother from an early age, sexually abused by an uncle, having 3 children from two different fathers, going through several rough marriages and several abusive boyfriends. Iyanla had a tough, ROUGH life, that I wouldn't wish upon my worst enemy, and yet she ended up coming out on top. Iyanla got a law degree, became a Yoruba priestess, and then got her life on track. Her story is so amazing that I think I will end uo buying this book and reading it over and over again. It is that good, I tell ya.

[Jennifer · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a book that has numerous poems in it. I am reviewing the poem, Yesterday, I Cried.

This poem tells about a woman who upon arriving home goes into her bedroom and sits down to have a good cry. It then lists all the reasons that a woman may do this. We cry for things that have happened, for things that have not happened, for people who bring us joy, for people who bring us heartache. It is important to understand that woman cry as a form of therapy. We do not cry because we are sad or hurt. We cry for many reasons.

This is a good poem for young women who are coming of age because it helps us understand the many emotions that we experience and let us know that it is alright/normal to feel this way.

[Jared Della Rocca · Rating 2 out of 5]

I’m sorry. I just can’t properly review this book. It’s nothing against this book in general, but rather this book at this time. I have now read two or three affirmation/positive thinking/self-help books in a row. And I’m just done. Learning how to look at your past failures and sorrows, accepting them, and moving past them is important, no doubt about it. But the relentless positivity of these books becomes off-putting. In the plus column for this book, at least she recognizes that tears and sadness are not a defect and you don’t always have to be upbeat. There is room for sorrow. But the narrative and overall writing just meanders, the stories don’t necessarily match the chapter titles, and in a VERY CROWDED field of “self-help”, there are certainly stronger candidates.

[Senele · Rating 5 out of 5]

Oh, I learnt so much! So much that it brought tears to my eyes, joy to my spirit, and faith that life can only get better, and that God indeed loves me. I saw so much of the struggles that I go through, its what is universal. The question is what do you choose to learn? How do you make the most with what has been served to you?
Life changing. I really believe I needed that book at the point I was in my life then. i still read it up today!

[Michelle · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is truly one of THE most important books Ive ever read...it opened me up, shook me out and put me back together again! Its my story, its your story, its her story....everyone can connect with this riveting account of Iyanla's processing of her life. She gets in the tub, cries and remembers...looking to uncover her patterns and to finally break them once and for all! Simply amazing and so very helpful. Please do yourself a favor and read this book. :-)

[Dee · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book made me cry, i love Iyanla, fell in love with this book because it was raw and gritty. I couldn't put it down. I tried reading some of her other books after this, but always came back to this one. Because i think it was hugely biographical. this is a must read just for the sheer fact that Iyanla spits words at you which you cant help but react with.

[Karen · Rating 5 out of 5]

I first heard the poem Yesterday, I Cried, on the Oprah show which lead me to the book. Iyanla's story captured my attention. I found myself identifying with so much of what she went through in the book. To this day it is still one of the first books that come to mind, when someone ask me what is my favorite book.

[Darcy Ries · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very courageous autobiography detailing one woman's struggle through some of life's cruelest assaults. But make no mistake, it's not a downer-- the hope, faith and forgiveness this woman wields is mind-blowing and heart-warming.

[Jama Jack · Rating 4 out of 5]

Absolutely brilliant read. Poignant lessons in faith, love, hope, trials and triumphs, family, self-esteem and life in general.
Iyanla's story is a powerful and inspirational one and I'm glad I read it at this moment.
Recommended.

[Diana · Rating 4 out of 5]

WOW!!! This is a heavy book. I haven't read it in a long time, but I liked it when I was in high school. I don't know if I would like it now.

[Andrea · Rating 5 out of 5]

Inspiring. This book is about one woman overcoming her experiences as a young person. I admire her capacity for strength and forgiveness. We all could take a lesson from her experience

[Kellie · Rating 2 out of 5]

autobiographical, done for authors own personal closure – about empowerment, motivational – a little strange, filled with double standards and admittedly so by author

[Shockmesane212 · Rating 5 out of 5]

Autobiographical story about the authors horrible childhood. I loved reading it to the end, she always pulled through, and I admire her strength.

[Laci · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’ve been toting this book around for years, unable to focus and read it, yet also unable to pass it on. It is now that I’ve finished reading that I can see why it took me so long to come to this book. Timing is everything. This book called for me to finally open its pages and read during my own process of deep healing. And I will be forever grateful for the comfort, understanding and insight contained in these pages. May I learn to be as brave and honest as Iyanla Vanzant.

[Maddalena Alvarez · Rating 4 out of 5]

ummmm from what I can remember this rly helped me thru my mid 20s and pandemic year lol
but not knowing she was the “not on my watch” meme lady really helped prob. knowing that now rly kills it for me ha
I did do the journaling exercise she wrote about for like almost 4 years and it was sorta cool to help me reconnect w myself. may start that up again unsure
kinda just a wild wild story and hope to god she is telling the truth !

[Ivana Romany · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very emotional, spiritual and uplifting. My favourite book of all time...

[Suzanne · Rating 4 out of 5]

Loved this book - lots of quotes that I marked.

p. 19 "Each tear, regardless of its origin, or its effects, contains a seed of healing."
"Angry tears spill forth from the outside corner of the eye, making them easier to wipe away as they come at unexpected moments and inappropriate times. They create heat and stiffness in the body, because when we are angry, we usually don't know how to express what we fee. We definitely don't want anyone to know when we are angry, because anger is not acceptable or polite. Rather than display anger, we hold back, and the tears rage forth, shattering out self-image."

p. 20 "Sad tears spill forth from the inside corner of the eye, finding their way across our nose, cheeks, and lips. The things that bring them forth are usually the bitter experiences in life. Sad tears come from the heart. The usually bring a bending of the shoulders and a drooping of the head."

p. 21 "Frightened tears take up the entire eye, clouding our vision, as fear will do. When we are frightened we cannot see or think. Frightened tears are usually big tears that well up in the eye. They spill over the whole face. Frightened tears come from the soles of the feet. They shoot through the body and create trembling or shaking."

p.21-2 "Then there are shame-filled tears, which fall when we are alone with our thoughts and feelings. Shame-filled tears come when we're judging ourselves, criticizing ourselves, or beating up on ourselves for something purely human that we have done yet can't explain to ourselves or to others. Shame-filled tears come from the pit of the stomach and usually cause us to bend over - not in pain, but in anguish."

p.22 "Combination tears are the worst tears of all. They are filled with anger and sadness, with fear and shame. They have a devastating effect on the body, bringing the stiffness of anger, the drooping of sadness, the trembling of fear, and the bending of shame. They make you cold when you are hot. They make you tremble when you are trying to keep still. Most of all, they make you nauseated."

p. 23 "Why do we subject ourselves to the hysteria of expecting the worst? It is the natural outgrowth of postponing the inevitable. You can put off what you need to do, but the longer you put it off, the more hysteria and conflict you will experience."

p. 25 "The unshed tears of our many experiences color and cloud our thoughts. As we try to move forward without allowing the tears to flow freely, we find ourselves repeatedly in similar experiences. Most tears come from our inability to tell our story. Tell your story. Your story will heal you, and it will heal someone else."

p. 26 "Joyful tears spring forth from my heart and allow me to stand straight. Joyful tears move up the spine and across the brain and bring you to a new perspective and a new understanding that the sad tears were necessary, that each tear was a prayer, that tomorrow will be better than today. Joyful tears free you up to celebrate your Self, your healing, and your progressive process."
As I tell my story, there are places and pieces that other people can tap into so that they may somehow find the courage to revisit their own experiences, bring forth the tears, and grow into their greatness."

p. 37 "Even when it seems that your life is falling apart, there is divine restoration going on."

p. 45 "Ask yourself why. What is or was the energy behind each of these things in your life? what is the experience that brings you the greatest amount of joy? What is the one task that you are least fond of doing? If you were to die today, what is the one thing everyone who knows you would say about you? What would you want them to say? Why wouldn't or couldn't they say what you would want them to say?"

p. 156 "Prayer can do things that you can't do. It can fix things that you didn't even realize were broken. When you can't do anything else, you can pray."

p. 162 "Mothers are very important to children. They provide the lifeblood, the mind energy, and the soul food that every child needs in order to flourish. Fathers show us how to survive. Mothers teach us how to blossom and flourish." Water by grace, prune by mercy, and till by love.

p. 179 "You cannot create a new way of being in one day. You must take your time remembering, cleaning up, and gaining strength. If you push yourself too fast, before gaining the strength you need to go in a new direction, you are going to fall and bump your head. How we deal with new challenges is always a reflection of how well we have healed."