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The Truth about Sharks and Pigeons
The Truth about Sharks and Pigeons has been compared to the work of Douglas Adams, Terry Pratchett and Tom Holt, with just a dash of Dr Dolittle... It’s not paranoia, if they really are out to get you... Bill Posters is an ordinary kind of guy. He’s put a great deal of effort into it. So why does he think he’s being stalked by pigeons? That’s not normal, is it? As if being harassed by winged vermin isn’t bad enough, Bill’s day is just about to get a whole lot worse. He’s got twenty four hours to save the world. Armed with a secret weapon more suited to the bathroom than the battlefield, Bill is joined by Fern, chunky knitwear aficionado, and Gregor, Chile’s second most dangerous assassin. Bill isn’t the Chosen One, but for now he will just have to do. Prepare to learn the Truth about Sharks and Pigeons.
322 pages, Kindle Edition
First published November 1, 2011
57 people are currently reading
206 people want to read
About the author
Matt Phillips
5 books11 followersMatt Phillips was born in Welwyn Garden City, Hertfordshire and raised in Bedfordshire, UK. He studied Anthropology at the University of Cambridge and graduated in 2000.
Reading and writing has always been his passion. One of his earliest memories is presenting his mother with the adventures of Kit the Kat, complete with illustrations. While this book remains the pinnacle of his artistic achievements his writing has since improved. A bit.
His debut novel "The Truth about Sharks and Pigeons" is a product of his wife's request to stop bothering her with all the crazy stories and write them down instead.
Reading and writing has always been his passion. One of his earliest memories is presenting his mother with the adventures of Kit the Kat, complete with illustrations. While this book remains the pinnacle of his artistic achievements his writing has since improved. A bit.
His debut novel "The Truth about Sharks and Pigeons" is a product of his wife's request to stop bothering her with all the crazy stories and write them down instead.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 43 reviews
February 9, 2017
How do I feel about this book? I hate stabbing things because the authors try so hard and take it personally but I guess most of the sales of this title have already happened and it won’t make much difference if I do my job the way I should, as a reviewer.
The ordinary animal that suddenly speaks to a human, a pigeon, instantly made me think the author had read and enjoyed Expecting Someone Taller by Tom Holt, in which a badger gets run over and then unexpectedly speaks to the driver. This was an original surprise in 1987, when Holt did it. Tom Holt’s book wasn’t superficial either because it was set against the background mythology of three Wagner operas and his badger was a parody of Fasolt or Fafner, but this scene is built on no sort of cultural or intellectual foundation like that. Is it commendable when a piece of theatre that operates on two levels is recreated years later on only one? This isn’t a direct accusation of copying, just a suspected strong influence which may even have been subconscious. Tom Holt’s matter transporter is the Tarnhelm (more Wagner mythology). In this book it’s a matter transporter.
“What the hell’s that”, near the start, immediately made me think of Arthur Dent using the same line when he encounters the Dentrassi. I’m sure it’s been in a lot of other things too but, seeing as the author has read or seen the same cultural influences as I have and even my parents can quote from and he so dearly wants to be just like them, the other writers not my parents, it’s a fair bet the voice in the author’s head when he reads his own line aloud belongs to the actor Simon Jones. It doesn’t end there. In the Hitchhiker’s Guide, talking white mice secretly run the world and humans have completely misinterpreted their relationship with them due to their successful designs and intrigues that were intended to keep it that way. The similarity with this is that a different species of talking creatures secretly run the world and humans have completely misinterpreted their relationship with them due to their successful designs and intrigues that were intended to keep it that way. Subconscious again, she said, defending the author.
The use of an unlikely hero is fair enough and isn’t copying and aping because it’s a popular style. I prefer unlikely heroes, beta people, and many others would agree, including this author. Tom Holt always wrote unlikely heroes (except in Ye Gods, which sent up heroes) and so did Douglas Adams, so I think the author likes them both and thought it works out better this way, which it does of course. Other countries have the capable alpha hero and the hometown best friend but the English style is to dispense with the hero completely and drop the best friend right in it up to their neck. I think this writer’s choices have been formed around how other humourists have entertained him, so it’s not wrong and it’s good for the story and I wouldn’t want it changed but he is following an existing format without trying to stamp his individual style onto anything and make any theme in this book his alone, which he should try to do if he wants to stand in this sort of company. This is not a pioneering work, is it? Perhaps a comfortable re-tread. The story doesn’t say anything or do anything I object to. It just meanders along and involves a lot of talking animals, which fails to be unexpected when you’re into the third species.
Let’s recap: Inferior to the authors he's been influenced by and is trying to emulate. Friendly and bonkers, well intended, by someone who wants you to like it and them, but disappointing. Sort of fun but a wobbly fairground mirror reflection of what he was trying for. I want to read originality.
Is it funny though? I found two good laughs and they were good but two is two, last time I counted, and I get more laughs than that giving head. The idea with the mark they put on the hero’s forehead is funny slapstick and I did laugh out loud. The slinky in the torture chamber is sleek and effective humour, probably the high point of the book. You buy it, you take your chance, but if this publication ever gets reprinted and he puts “laugh out loud” or “sleek and effective humour” with the critics’ quotes on the back, I wouldn’t find that very amusing.
The ordinary animal that suddenly speaks to a human, a pigeon, instantly made me think the author had read and enjoyed Expecting Someone Taller by Tom Holt, in which a badger gets run over and then unexpectedly speaks to the driver. This was an original surprise in 1987, when Holt did it. Tom Holt’s book wasn’t superficial either because it was set against the background mythology of three Wagner operas and his badger was a parody of Fasolt or Fafner, but this scene is built on no sort of cultural or intellectual foundation like that. Is it commendable when a piece of theatre that operates on two levels is recreated years later on only one? This isn’t a direct accusation of copying, just a suspected strong influence which may even have been subconscious. Tom Holt’s matter transporter is the Tarnhelm (more Wagner mythology). In this book it’s a matter transporter.
“What the hell’s that”, near the start, immediately made me think of Arthur Dent using the same line when he encounters the Dentrassi. I’m sure it’s been in a lot of other things too but, seeing as the author has read or seen the same cultural influences as I have and even my parents can quote from and he so dearly wants to be just like them, the other writers not my parents, it’s a fair bet the voice in the author’s head when he reads his own line aloud belongs to the actor Simon Jones. It doesn’t end there. In the Hitchhiker’s Guide, talking white mice secretly run the world and humans have completely misinterpreted their relationship with them due to their successful designs and intrigues that were intended to keep it that way. The similarity with this is that a different species of talking creatures secretly run the world and humans have completely misinterpreted their relationship with them due to their successful designs and intrigues that were intended to keep it that way. Subconscious again, she said, defending the author.
The use of an unlikely hero is fair enough and isn’t copying and aping because it’s a popular style. I prefer unlikely heroes, beta people, and many others would agree, including this author. Tom Holt always wrote unlikely heroes (except in Ye Gods, which sent up heroes) and so did Douglas Adams, so I think the author likes them both and thought it works out better this way, which it does of course. Other countries have the capable alpha hero and the hometown best friend but the English style is to dispense with the hero completely and drop the best friend right in it up to their neck. I think this writer’s choices have been formed around how other humourists have entertained him, so it’s not wrong and it’s good for the story and I wouldn’t want it changed but he is following an existing format without trying to stamp his individual style onto anything and make any theme in this book his alone, which he should try to do if he wants to stand in this sort of company. This is not a pioneering work, is it? Perhaps a comfortable re-tread. The story doesn’t say anything or do anything I object to. It just meanders along and involves a lot of talking animals, which fails to be unexpected when you’re into the third species.
Let’s recap: Inferior to the authors he's been influenced by and is trying to emulate. Friendly and bonkers, well intended, by someone who wants you to like it and them, but disappointing. Sort of fun but a wobbly fairground mirror reflection of what he was trying for. I want to read originality.
Is it funny though? I found two good laughs and they were good but two is two, last time I counted, and I get more laughs than that giving head. The idea with the mark they put on the hero’s forehead is funny slapstick and I did laugh out loud. The slinky in the torture chamber is sleek and effective humour, probably the high point of the book. You buy it, you take your chance, but if this publication ever gets reprinted and he puts “laugh out loud” or “sleek and effective humour” with the critics’ quotes on the back, I wouldn’t find that very amusing.
February 23, 2013
This book, right, is mental, but the thing is that it's mental in the best way possible. Just the title alone was enough to get me hooked in enough to know that I had to read it, and blimey, was I glad I did.
It's the first time in a good long while that a book's had me quite literally doubled over wi' laughter, but this one managed it (I'm not going to spoil the bit that did it, I'm simply going to say "Cheggers"). Not only that, but it has genuine heart, as well, with the sweet relationship between the protagonist, Bill, and everyone's chunky knitwear aficionado, Fern.
So, in short, get it read. It's chuffing brilliant.
It's the first time in a good long while that a book's had me quite literally doubled over wi' laughter, but this one managed it (I'm not going to spoil the bit that did it, I'm simply going to say "Cheggers"). Not only that, but it has genuine heart, as well, with the sweet relationship between the protagonist, Bill, and everyone's chunky knitwear aficionado, Fern.
So, in short, get it read. It's chuffing brilliant.
April 20, 2016
2 Stars
The Truth about Sharks and Pigeons by Matt Phillips is a whimsical thriller written in the vain of a Terry Pratchett. The description of the book and it's comparisons to other great authors and books grabbed my attention. As I ventured into this story I found that I was able to get into the crazy underlying story, but I never found myself actually caring. On top of all of this I did not really find enough of this to be funny. I did not laugh out loud and found some of the jokes to be just too much. They came across as trying to hard.
Oh well, I finished it, but didn't love it.
The Truth about Sharks and Pigeons by Matt Phillips is a whimsical thriller written in the vain of a Terry Pratchett. The description of the book and it's comparisons to other great authors and books grabbed my attention. As I ventured into this story I found that I was able to get into the crazy underlying story, but I never found myself actually caring. On top of all of this I did not really find enough of this to be funny. I did not laugh out loud and found some of the jokes to be just too much. They came across as trying to hard.
Oh well, I finished it, but didn't love it.
March 8, 2013
Hmm, British humor. Zany, nonsensical, and funny. When Bill Posters finds a pigeon stalking him and then talking to him, he is sure that something funny is going on. After being kidnapped and taken to the pigeon headquarters and seeing people fighting in penguin suits, he is sure of it. And now, it is up to him to save the world from the sharks using only his wits and a manicure kit. With Fern helping him, will he be able to save the world? Read this book to find out!
June 7, 2022
Fun and a little bit mad!
June 8, 2012
The Truth about Sharks and Pigeons (and sheep)? The real truth? Okay: It's really good! And it's really funny.
Not Pratchett-funny (why is every "funny" novel measured against Pratchett, who has a very unique sense of humour?), but if comparisons are helpful, more Douglas Adams (not just for absurdity) with a dash of Tom Holt (for the unlikely hero).
Protagonist Bill Posters is only humanity's 768.271st best hope after all, but he has help - the lovely Fern, Clyde (the pigeon), Gregor who works on a "need to know basis so he is not considered all that reliable" and a cast of characters I would not want to give away here.
Bill is up against the sharks, but these are no ordinary selachimorpha - unless you've seen a shark on a Segway PT before - they have a plan for world domination. But are they a match for Bill, the pigeons (and the sheep)?
If you want to find out and learn about the connection between the time-space continuum and laundrettes while you're at it or debating physics theory with a scientifically advanced octogenarian techno-sheep, you've got to read this very enjoyable novel.
Criticism? Of course. One: Like most self-published novels, a good editor could have improved the book considerably. Two: It reads like a first novel. But I for one am REALLY looking forward to Matt Phillips' next novel (and I'm thinking five stars next time, okay?)
Not Pratchett-funny (why is every "funny" novel measured against Pratchett, who has a very unique sense of humour?), but if comparisons are helpful, more Douglas Adams (not just for absurdity) with a dash of Tom Holt (for the unlikely hero).
Protagonist Bill Posters is only humanity's 768.271st best hope after all, but he has help - the lovely Fern, Clyde (the pigeon), Gregor who works on a "need to know basis so he is not considered all that reliable" and a cast of characters I would not want to give away here.
Bill is up against the sharks, but these are no ordinary selachimorpha - unless you've seen a shark on a Segway PT before - they have a plan for world domination. But are they a match for Bill, the pigeons (and the sheep)?
If you want to find out and learn about the connection between the time-space continuum and laundrettes while you're at it or debating physics theory with a scientifically advanced octogenarian techno-sheep, you've got to read this very enjoyable novel.
Criticism? Of course. One: Like most self-published novels, a good editor could have improved the book considerably. Two: It reads like a first novel. But I for one am REALLY looking forward to Matt Phillips' next novel (and I'm thinking five stars next time, okay?)
July 6, 2012
The good: The sheep, the "DVD Extras" at the back of the book
The bad:
The book was OK but would really benefit from a professional editor to weed out the worst of the distractions, e.g:
* typos, using the wrong homophone (passed v past), inconsistently referring to characters (e.g. referring to a character by surname for an entire book and then suddenly switching to their first name for a while before returning to their surname), the inevitable made-up words that fantasy authors just love to force into a book whether they're needed or not.
* explaining really obvious jokes, and not in a funny way. Seriously, if you have a weapon which comes in a can and its acronym is WUPASS then having the character hold it up and announce that he's going to open a can of wupass because he's always wanted to use that phrase (even though earlier he acted like he'd never heard the phrase before) is just awful writing.
* inconsistent protagonist characterisation - is he a sheltered child or a grown man who has actually seen an action movie? He alternates between having the usual amount of action movie knowledge, and being unbelievably slow: e.g. he looks at a can of "WUPASS" and thinks it's food but later uses the phrase "open a can of wupass" (you know, in case we didn't get the joke). He then looks at a bomb timer counting down and thinks it's a broken alarm clock. He picked both of these items up in an armory, though he did conveniently forget that so that he could hilariously mis-identify the objects later.
Definitely don't read it expecting Douglas Adams. A young self-published Tom Holt, maybe.
The bad:
The book was OK but would really benefit from a professional editor to weed out the worst of the distractions, e.g:
* typos, using the wrong homophone (passed v past), inconsistently referring to characters (e.g. referring to a character by surname for an entire book and then suddenly switching to their first name for a while before returning to their surname), the inevitable made-up words that fantasy authors just love to force into a book whether they're needed or not.
* explaining really obvious jokes, and not in a funny way. Seriously, if you have a weapon which comes in a can and its acronym is WUPASS then having the character hold it up and announce that he's going to open a can of wupass because he's always wanted to use that phrase (even though earlier he acted like he'd never heard the phrase before) is just awful writing.
* inconsistent protagonist characterisation - is he a sheltered child or a grown man who has actually seen an action movie? He alternates between having the usual amount of action movie knowledge, and being unbelievably slow: e.g. he looks at a can of "WUPASS" and thinks it's food but later uses the phrase "open a can of wupass" (you know, in case we didn't get the joke). He then looks at a bomb timer counting down and thinks it's a broken alarm clock. He picked both of these items up in an armory, though he did conveniently forget that so that he could hilariously mis-identify the objects later.
Definitely don't read it expecting Douglas Adams. A young self-published Tom Holt, maybe.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
March 8, 2017
Great fun
All I have to say is I really want to party with Matt Phillips. Anyone this twisted is someone I could toss back a few beers with!! Please keep them coming and I'll keep reading them. 5 hilarious, irreverent, silly, well earned stars!
All I have to say is I really want to party with Matt Phillips. Anyone this twisted is someone I could toss back a few beers with!! Please keep them coming and I'll keep reading them. 5 hilarious, irreverent, silly, well earned stars!
February 22, 2014
The Truth about Sharks and Pigeons is that it's simply not as "brilliant" as the author's own review would have you believe.
The book shows a lot of promise at the beginning, but unfortunately never quite delivers on that promise. The wheels well and truly come in the final couple of chapters of the story leaving you with an ending that is as disappointing as it is unsatisfying. It feels like the author ran out of ideas (or patience) and simply decided to bring the book to a speedy conclusion. The book also contains some alternate endings but quite frankly I didn't bother reading any of those. I concluded that if I didn't like the original ending then it seemed very unlikely that any of the alternate endings would be an improvement.
I really like the authors sense of humour, there are some genuinely amusing moments in the book but unfortunately this isn't sufficient to distract from the story's rather obvious shortcomings.
At the very least this book needs to undergo some kind of quality control, preferably through a competent and reputable editor. The finished product could have been so much better.
On the plus side, there's enough in this book to indicate that the author has some real potential for the future. I would be interested to see what he comes out with next.
The book shows a lot of promise at the beginning, but unfortunately never quite delivers on that promise. The wheels well and truly come in the final couple of chapters of the story leaving you with an ending that is as disappointing as it is unsatisfying. It feels like the author ran out of ideas (or patience) and simply decided to bring the book to a speedy conclusion. The book also contains some alternate endings but quite frankly I didn't bother reading any of those. I concluded that if I didn't like the original ending then it seemed very unlikely that any of the alternate endings would be an improvement.
I really like the authors sense of humour, there are some genuinely amusing moments in the book but unfortunately this isn't sufficient to distract from the story's rather obvious shortcomings.
At the very least this book needs to undergo some kind of quality control, preferably through a competent and reputable editor. The finished product could have been so much better.
On the plus side, there's enough in this book to indicate that the author has some real potential for the future. I would be interested to see what he comes out with next.
April 10, 2013
Whacky and zany etc etc that's all very well and some of this book is out there but is it funny? Im afraid I didnt think so. If you compare this style (as is inevitable) with the likes of Adams, Pratchett or most likely Holt, you come up with huge differences, they contain jokes, puns and human (goblin, animal,wizard) relationships. They do not allow the humour to overtake the need for a tightness in plot that, if broken, renders the book very difficult to sustain. Now I am not saying a lot of realism creeps into any of the previously named authors' work but once they have set out their perameters about a planet, system, town, world then everything that happens within that world is plausible. In this book you are left wondering why something is added to the plot (chinawear in a prison cell, the tool that the hero is given to save the world) and all I can deduce is a rather drawn-out unfunny situation. By halfway through this book I was looking for the end. Sorry that that is not overly constructive but I actually feel the writer is talented but is perhaps wasting his talent on the wrong genre. Just updated my score, 1 star was too harsh, the book isnt that bad it's just a little flat, sorry Matt.
December 26, 2014
Meh. I really wanted to love it, and it sounded like something I should enjoy. Pigeons in a clear British Secret Service setting, James Bond villain loving sharks who model their world domination plans off Bond movies. Physicist sheep with highly advanced medical knowledge, what is there not to love?
Everything else. There were numerous typos, and few plot surprises. As the book goes on, the author takes great pains to point out already glaringly obvious details that will turn out to be important later. The ending was also not particularly good- rather than actually wrapping things up, it attempts to show how the character is a far more pulled together person than the rest of the story indicates.
It had fun moments, and for all its faults, I never once considered putting it down to read something else instead.
The "bonus" material at the end is largely horrible. The alternate endings were particularly bad, but the "deleted scenes" were rubbish as well. Leaving them out entirely and pretending they were never written would have been a better choice.
Everything else. There were numerous typos, and few plot surprises. As the book goes on, the author takes great pains to point out already glaringly obvious details that will turn out to be important later. The ending was also not particularly good- rather than actually wrapping things up, it attempts to show how the character is a far more pulled together person than the rest of the story indicates.
It had fun moments, and for all its faults, I never once considered putting it down to read something else instead.
The "bonus" material at the end is largely horrible. The alternate endings were particularly bad, but the "deleted scenes" were rubbish as well. Leaving them out entirely and pretending they were never written would have been a better choice.
April 28, 2013
(contains mild spoilers) Not really my type of book. But it was rather enjoyable until almost the end (mostly, the final chapter and epilogue). At the end two thing happen. First, our hero breaks character (this would be plausible in a longer book with actual character development). As it stands we, who have been with the main characters all along and know him to be less than capable, are also presented with what was a kind of cunning plan involving corn flakes. Where did this come from?? It's remotely plausible, though... Second, the author starts making provincial references. Although these references may be acceptable to some people, they are not necessary in the story and the overall background becomes fuzzy and the reader no longer knows who the major players are (including one of the supposedly major ones -- so important that a reference is in the title of the book).
August 21, 2017
“The Truth about Sharks and Pigeons” in a neat little book full of humor and interesting characters, however the story ran too long. The writing is good and book was interesting…until it wasn’t. The plot was interesting and unique and had a good premise but after a while the humor just fell flat as the plot dragged on it probably could have been wrapped up in about 100 pages less which would have made it much more enjoyable, to the point where I found myself skimming some pages towards the end.
April 30, 2015
My first reaction, after reading the opening chapters, was "Why do I even have this book? Did I not read the description?" And yet... it drew me in and I kept reading. To my surprise, it's a really good read. I didn't find it laugh-out-loud funny, but maybe it just takes a lot to make me laugh. Some of the gags are kind of predictable and the plot is pretty ordinary, so it doesn't earn 5 stars. But it was enjoyable, and well worth reading.
November 19, 2014
Saw on Kindle Deals page - title caught my eye.
Similar to Douglas Adams/Tom Holt in style & substance, if not quite as high-quality. A fun read if you run with the premise - sharks & pigeons are really aliens fighting over our world; and The Chosen One from the human realm is a bit of a nebbish; even with the help of his highly-trained Protector.
Similar to Douglas Adams/Tom Holt in style & substance, if not quite as high-quality. A fun read if you run with the premise - sharks & pigeons are really aliens fighting over our world; and The Chosen One from the human realm is a bit of a nebbish; even with the help of his highly-trained Protector.
February 7, 2016
Overall, a bizarre but fairly interesting story about Bill, who eventually becomes the Chosen One, to help the Pygeons save humans from their arch enemies, the Sharks...felt the story did tail off a little in the middle, and he was just throwing stuff in the story as he was thinking it up, rather than working out a solid plot.
April 14, 2016
This book has a very promising beginning - after all: it is about Pigeons and Sharks, trying to get control over the world (again). Unfortunately it does not really hold up. The middle keeps on going and going and although the narrative is trying everything possible to keep us reading it did not quite succeed. It is just one fight scene after the other and I simply lost interest.
February 27, 2012
A decent enough surreal book. I quite liked it, but got fed up of reading it towards the end. That's not to say that it's no good, I did enjoy it, but kept picking up other books instead of reading this one.
December 20, 2012
I must confess, I was a bit worried about how this book would turn out after I saw it being compared to the works of Douglas Adams. I worried for nothing! Loved this book, laughed out loud more than a few times. It's a very creative and unique story. I can't wait to read more works by this author.
August 25, 2013
That was a bit bonkers! Sharks and pigeons are engaged in a millennia long war, and Bill, a human, is recruited by the pigeons to foil the sharks' latest world domination plans. Lots of tongue in cheek moments, even some "out takes" and alternative endings in the back.
February 16, 2014
Once I got past the image of sharks and pigeons as viable characters, I truly enjoyed it. I liked the main "reluctant" hero. It was just a fun story with a surprising ending. If you want something light and amusing with a good laugh then read this book.
October 28, 2017
Good read
Wasn't sure what to make of this but I actually really enjoyed it. I didn't find it uproariously laugh out loud but it was consistently silly and amusing. I've bought the next book.
Wasn't sure what to make of this but I actually really enjoyed it. I didn't find it uproariously laugh out loud but it was consistently silly and amusing. I've bought the next book.
February 16, 2012
Phillips shows promise, but is in dire need of a good editor.
April 1, 2012
pretty decent sub pratchett fair..enjoyable
October 18, 2012
This was a crazy book, with all kinds of twists and turns. It was quite enjoyable though, you never knew what was going to happen next.
Want to read
January 22, 2013Kindle freebie, 1/22/13
March 29, 2013
Not bad - a bit too similar to Douglas Adams for me. Found the writing a little too cliche in some areas.
April 21, 2013
Started a bit slowly but was a quirky, fun read.
April 19, 2013
This was a good read, but it really really needed a good copy editor!
May 28, 2013
Silly fun!
Displaying 1 - 30 of 43 reviews