Toms and Dees: Transgender Identity and Female Same-Sex Relationships in Thailand

Southeast Asia: Politics, Meaning, and Memory

by Megan J. Sinnott

A vibrant, growing, and highly visible set of female identities has emerged in Thailand known as tom and dee. A tom (from tomboy) refers to a masculine woman who is sexually involved with a feminine partner, or dee (from lady). The patterning of female same-sex relationships into masculine and feminine pairs, coupled with the use of English derived terms to refer to them, is found throughout East and Southeast Asia.



Have the forces of capitalism facilitated the dissemination of Western-style gay and lesbian identities throughout the developing world as some theories of transnationalism suggest? Is the emergence of toms and dees over the past twenty-five years a sign that this has occurred in Thailand? Megan Sinnott engages these issues by examining the local culture and historical context of female same-sex eroticism and female masculinity in Thailand. Drawing on a broad spectrum of anthropological literature, Sinnott situates Thai tom and dee subculture within the global trend of increasingly hybridized sexual and gender identities.

Genres: Queer, Nonfiction, LGBT, Lesbian, Gender, Gender Studies, Sociology

272 pages, Paperback

First published July 1, 2004

Reviews

[Andrew]

One thing I find endlessly frustrating is when well-meaning Americans ask me about Thailand, and impose all of their categories – sociological, political, gender-based, etc. – without appreciating how even very universal things manifest themselves differently in local contexts. To put it as bluntly as possible, while dudes have been putting their dicks in other dudes for time immemorial, the idea of there being a gay culture as we know it in early 21st Century America is hardly the norm across human history and civilization. And these kinds of discrepancies are something that Megan Sinnott investigates, and investigates well. Are toms and dees lesbians? Kinda? Kinda not? Are toms trans? Kinda? Kinda not? I personally know toms who use male pronouns, and toms who use female pronouns. And of course lots of people have competing definitions of these things. And that’s interesting.

It’s also a refreshing read when compared to a lot of mealymouthed academe – this is one of those rare texts that combines academic rigor and compulsive readability, and an even rarer text by an American who actually seems to really get another place I know fairly well. Unlike the majority of commenters, she actually has an appreciation of Thai linguistic subtleties and strategic uses of language, for instance (that’s the language-learning nerd in me coming out).

One thing for our more sensitive readers – this was written 20 years ago, and you’ll probably bristle at some of the language. Take a shot of estrogen every time she calls a trans woman a “transgendered man.” But it seems good-faith, so I don’t hold it against her.

[Lene · Rating 3 out of 5]

Interesting insights into Thai lesbian culture. Has a lot of shortcomings though. Written by a western academic, it presents a colonial viewpoint, uses needlessly inaccessible language and the stories it tells are needlessly repetitive. Also its treatment of trans issues in the West is outdated and sometimes hostile to actual trans people.

I still give it a solid three stars because it is, as far as I know, the only book dealing with this subject. Even if my eye musculature got a workout by rolling so much, I appreciate the insights into both Thai culture in general and lesbian culture in particular.

[Sebastian Juarez · Rating 4 out of 5]

Such a comprehensive and illuminating text. The ethnography is beautifully composed of supporting stories, and the tension between sexuality and gender in Thailand is so clear. Religion, ethnicity, and language are so critical to the understanding and experience of other sexualities, and in Thailand, societal expectations but also open acceptance and understanding frame same-sex relationships as simultaneously phases and a defining characteristic. Further, the author captures how sexuality is not typically the basis of discrimination, but gender expression in, and even if one engages in sam-sex relationships, their role can determine if they are really homosexual. These interesting questions are beautifully answered through a legal, cultural, linguistic, and historic lens.

[Grey Jones · Rating 5 out of 5]

So informative. Really makes you think about sex, gender, sexuality, and cultural perspectives.

[Noah]

Read ch 3-7 for class. I felt like it was readable, informative, and dug into the complexity of the subject matter very skillfully.

[Bridget West · Rating 5 out of 5]

Sinnott brilliantly brings to life the stigmatized and marginalized lives of transgender identity and same-sex relations. She challenges the assumption of a universal homosexual subject, and importantly notes that activity does not always dictate an identity in Thai society. One of the best ethnographic pieces I have read, I highly recommend this for anyone who wishes to challenge their notions of the masculine/feminine gender system.

[Scott · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read this in Megan's classes, so I'm a bit biased.

[Kim]

The gay in Asia is so totally different from anything Americans are used to! Talk to Baba about this shit, it makes my head spin. I just gave me a mega-gay hair-do. It looks so good!

[Dana Corrin · Rating 3 out of 5]

Does a really excellent job of trying to keep the Western/Colonial lens away and discusses this extremely interesting and complex identity within the context of the Thai culture quite well.

[Mills College Library]

306.768 S61797 2004