Kick Ass: Selected Columns

by Carl Hiaasen, Diane Stevenson (Editor)

A collection of the unique and passionate columns by Carl Hiaasen of the Miami Herald examines the outrageous carnival of southern Florida and all its inhabitants--thieves, conmen, hustlers, perfumed swine, legal swindlers and patriotic crooks, executioners, and lap dancers. Reprint.

Genres: Nonfiction, Essays, Humor, Journalism, Literary Fiction, American, Government

447 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 1999

About the author

Carl Hiaasen was born and raised in Florida. After graduating from the University of Florida, he joined the Miami Herald as a general assignment reporter and went on to work for the newspaper’s weekly magazine and prize-winning investigations team. As a journalist and author, Carl has spent most of his life advocating for the protection of the Florida Everglades. He and his family live in southern Florida.

Reviews

[Steve · Rating 4 out of 5]

Most reviews of this book, including the cover blurbs, note the direct connection between the characters in Hiaasen's novels and the crazy "only in Florida" true stories that populate particularly the first section of this book. And there is plenty of kookiness to go around, but the part that captivated me was the environmentalism, and Hiaasen's passion for Florida's wild places. These themes also come through in his novels, but come from his experience and the (mostly tragic) history of southern Florida development.
The stories are fascinating and the writing is as brilliant as his fiction — witty, sharp and profound without being heavy-handed. If you want a taste of his passion and ecological argument, read this piece
I also appreciated the effort that went into compiling this collection. A University of Florida professor compiled about 15 years of his columns into thematic chapters — often finding columns published months or years apart to continue a story or theme.
I only give this four stars because it is somewhat outdated now. The environmental concerns are perhaps even more valid, but these are columns from a daily newspaper, sometimes from 20 or 30 years ago, so it's not particularly, timely, but still worth a read, particularly for fans of Hiaasen's fiction.

[Edward · Rating 5 out of 5]

I simply cannot say anything bad about this collection of Hiaasen's best Miami Herald columns. It is sad, funny and angry all at the same time. Hiaasen is clearly a meticulous researcher, and that allows him to simply skewer just about everything about South Florida government and politics with the steady hand of someone who has all the facts and knows that things are even worse than they seem.

[Linda · Rating 5 out of 5]

As always, he is magnificent. Unfortunately, with all of those editorials, the problems in Miami and the stupidity of the state legislature just keep on happening. This really my second reading of the book. This book would be a great gift to anyone who is interested in local politics. I can't believe there aren't some places where some of this stuff isn't going on. Football stadiums, bribes to building inspectors, etc. And this is not fiction, which also writes and is very funny.

Second reading, June18, 2015. Just as good as the first time.

[Bryce Wilson · Rating 4 out of 5]

One of the world's greatest raconteurs doing what he does best. Namely stirring the shit of politics and society at large while reveling in a sense of disbelief, absurdity and righteous anger.

Somewhat esoteric (He writes about ALOT of minor politicians from the eighties) but rewarding none the less.

[Steve Rhodes · Rating 5 out of 5]

Carl Hiassen announced on Jan 29, 2021 he was retiring from the Miami Herald after 45 years and ending his column which ran for 35 years.

In May 2001, I wrote a review of his first collection of columns which has come out in paperback for Lit, the San Francisco Bay Guardian’s monthly book review (the ending is outdated).

Kick Ass: Selected Columns of Carl Hiaasen

Edited by Diane Stevenson. Berkley, 447 pages, $13.95.

By Steve Rhodes

Before Elián and the Florida election, readers might have thought Carl Hiaasen was exaggerating in satiric novels such as Tourist Season and Sick Puppy. But this 1999 collection, just out in paperback, of his columns for the Miami Herald makes it even clearer that much of his fiction is grounded in fact (as well as a biting wit and moral outrage over what is being done to his state).

You'll understand why things went so wrong in Florida far better by reading these columns – even though they were written between 1985 and 1999 – than by consuming any of the quickie books on last fall's election fiasco. Back in 1997, Hiaasen noted, "But in Miami the term 'tainted elections' is a whimsical redundancy." And when a man caught on fire that year in Old Sparky, he wrote, "But, once again, the state of Florida looks like it's being run by a bunch of dumb-ass rednecks who couldn't fix a toaster, much less an electric chair."

Although Hiaasen writes about local issues, his passionate columns about developers (he refers to them as "greedheads") destroying the Everglades resonate here. It's too bad there isn't someone like him at one of our daily papers. Luckily, even after you've finished the book, you can go to www.herald.com, click on "Opinion," and continue to read his columns every Wednesday and Sunday.

[Patrick · Rating 4 out of 5]

A reminder of Miami in the 1980’s and 1990’s. Includes satirical and biting columns on corrupt politicians, lobbyists, commissioners, contractors, who provide the author no shortage of material. Also comments on drug wars, FBI shootout, street riots over accusations of police brutality and more. But the subjects that display the author’s most personal and strongest commitment are those that bring attention to the environmental dangers facing South Florida: the overgrowth, the disappearing public parklands, wildlife, waters and more – mostly caused by greedy developers and dishonest politicians and bureaucrats whom he is not shy about calling out by name.

[Mark Mathes · Rating 5 out of 5]

Carl Hiaasen’s day and night job as an investigative journalist and later columnist for the Miami Herald inspired many best-selling books. Journalism is the first draft of history. And the first draft of many books. Here are many of his best from 1985-99. My pleasure to publish some of these at newspapers I edited and later to edit and represent Carl’s fresh, courageous commentary in international syndication during my previous life at Tribune in Chicago.

[Tim O'Neill · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good delection of early Hiaasen columns.

[Paschalis]

elibrary

[Christine Carlin · Rating 3 out of 5]

Hilarious!

[Josh Liller · Rating 1 out of 5]

Hiaasen is a much beloved and highly successful Florida writer famous for skewering the stupidity and absurdities of South Florida. So I was quite surprised when this collection of his newspaper columns bored the hell out of me. This was possibly my first ever exposure to Hiassen's writing; I may have read his column a few times before, but I've definitely never read any of his novels. Much like the film "In Bruges" I felt like this was something I should like and it just fell completely flat. Some articles reminded me of The Onion (but they predate that site of course), which is a likewise beloved source of satire and lampoon that has always failed to entertain me.

[Martha · Rating 4 out of 5]

I always loved his columns in the Miami Herald and missed reading them when I moved to Boston. So reading, rather skimming and reading, some of the columns sort of caught me up in what happened after I left in 1987. The Fla. story is so depressing. The astronomical growth that they can't manage, the environment going to shambles, the water, the Everglades, the wildlife moving toward extinction b/c of greed = growth.

[Keith · Rating 2 out of 5]

Might just be me, but I was bored silly. Big fan of Carl's fiction, particularly the young adult books like "Hoot". The columns, however, were hard to get into. The rants get old especially since there was no follow-up, so you don't know how things ended. I skipped about half of the book (like the stuff about politics) and ended up reading mostly the articles about wildlife and the destruction of the environment.

[Alexis · Rating 5 out of 5]

I'm going to florida in March and I always like to read about the culture of where I'm traveling. I'm excited about the den of thieves and Mafiosos and illegal immigrants that I will encounter on my travels. oh yeah, and gun toting grandmas too! Carl Hiassen is hilarious and pretty uch everything he writes is worth reading.

[Joyce · Rating 2 out of 5]

Corruption is rampant everywhere. Sometimes it is good to be reminded that people don't change much and neither do politicians. Hiaasen is a joy to read, but it would have been better had I read this when it came out, instead of years later.

[Greg Howard · Rating 2 out of 5]

I learned very quickly in this collection of Hiaasen's newpaper columns, that I really prefer his novels. Too much preaching and not enough whimsy. Although, I'll admit, there's plenty of problems in South Florida for Hiaasen to preach about.

[Eliana]

Consistently one of the funniest writers out there. Always enjoy his books! But this is a collection of his editorials. Scathingly funny, witheringly dry commentary on Florida politics make up the bulk of these articles.

[Andrea · Rating 4 out of 5]

Another hilarious and thought-provoking collection of essays by Carl Hiaasen.

[Carla]

want to read it!

[Fred]

2001**********

[J. D. · Rating 5 out of 5]

A treat, as usual, to see Carl Hiaasen trash Florida politicians.

[Chi Dubinski · Rating 3 out of 5]

Readers who love Carl Hiaasen's off-the-wall novels won't want to miss this
and passionate essays prove that the facts can indeed be stranger than fiction...

[Lisa · Rating 3 out of 5]

Carl Hiaasen is hilarious. This is a great bathroom book! His newspaper articles are short and a great laugh. I truly love a smart ass.....

[Julie · Rating 3 out of 5]

just for entertainment....

[Joe · Rating 5 out of 5]

buy own keep reread do not lend.

[Barry Cooke · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very good collection of Newspaper columns written over the years by the author outlining the greed & corruption of the authorities in Florida.

[Lori · Rating 3 out of 5]

Carl tells it like it is. great source of some Florida history. especially liked the later sections on the Everglades and Florida growth in general.

[Pamela]

If you didn’t live in Florida from the mid 80s to mid 90s, this book will be very hard to relate to. Skimmed a lot of it

[Matty O'rourke · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you don't understand how Miami works, this will certainly enlighten!