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Before & After by Matthew Thomas
1999, and the run-up to Armageddon has begun. Sheep are exploding in the Welsh highlands, the Pyramids are up for repossession since their 5,000-year lease has expired, ghastly US evangelists overrun Britain, King Arthur awakens, and rains of fish are of course inevitable. The prophet Nostradamus, still with us under his academic alias Professor Mike D. Nostrus, knows it's time to take precautions against the likely end of the world... This is moderately sprightly humorous fantasy in the vein of Tom Holt, or (in particular) Terry Pratchett's and Neil Gaiman's Good Omens, though less skilfully funny--it's Matthew Thomas's first novel. The famous Pratchett footnotes are painstakingly imitated. There's a tendency to leave loose for example, the expected amusing rationale for why those sheep are detonating never actually turns up. Thomas loves Blackadder-style "Adam was more full of shit than King Kong's colostomy bag"--and is pretty good at turning such phrases. But their rapid-fire repetition in earlier chapters has a numbing effect, as of being beaten around the head with Moby Dick. Later the pace quickens into madcap action-adventure and a crowded Last Battle which offers some good chuckles. Worth a look if you enjoy funny fantasy. --David Langford
Mass Market Paperback
First published January 1, 1999
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 37 reviews
October 5, 2011
Glad to see some are still enjoying this - it was great fun to write. I was a lot younger when I did it (22/23) and you can really tell that reading it back :)
Question for Barbara: Why re-read a book you didn't enjoy the first time. Can't get my head around that. Do you slam your head in fridge doors for fun?
Thanks for the positive comments. Means a lot to me, as for a long time this was my 'baby'.
Cheers,
Matt
Question for Barbara: Why re-read a book you didn't enjoy the first time. Can't get my head around that. Do you slam your head in fridge doors for fun?
Thanks for the positive comments. Means a lot to me, as for a long time this was my 'baby'.
Cheers,
Matt
June 8, 2020
I believe it was Christopher Fowler who wrote: “What would the apocalypse be without a few laughs?” Many writers over the years have written apocalyptic humour, with Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman’s “Good Omens” certainly being amongst the best of these. The worst I recall reading was a novel by Robert Rankin which was little more than a direct and less amusing rip off of this and which, thankfully, I can no longer recall the title to. Somewhere in the middle falls Matthew Thomas’ “Before & After” which, like “Good Omens” is building up to the final battle between good and evil but takes a different route there.
“Before & After” is essentially the story of Professor Michael Nostrus, a history professor hiding in the lecture halls of a London university. However, he is not all he appears to be, as he has lived for more than five centuries and has had a long and storied career, as well as a longer name, for this man once made a living as a predictor of the future, Nostradamus. As the millennium approaches, it seems that the time for the end of the world is at hand and so he makes preparations to use his knowledge to rip off a few bookmakers and insurance companies and find a bolthole where he can wait out the final battle.
This knowledge involves a huge school of fish falling on London, sheep exploding in Wales, the Great Pyramid of Giza being reclaimed by its original owners and a strange happening during the National Lottery draw. This convinces on of his students, Deborah, to join him and his equally long lived and telepathic ginger tom Aristotle in getting away from it all. Their escape will not be easy, as they are hounded by a tenacious tabloid journalist who has stumbled upon his secret, as well as Supreme Bishop Ted Trundell and his Church of the Eloquent Announcement, a group who take all the fun out of being a fundamentalist Christian and see Nostrus as ripe for the conversion. Both sides are after Nostrus, as the agents of hell, in the form of a couple of incompetent assassination demons, are also determined that Nostrus will not interfere in the final battle.
“Before & After” is a comedy novel packed with hilarious ideas, but without too much of a filter. Thomas is quite a funny guy, but he’s perhaps not the best writer, which means he uses too many words to get his points across. Sometimes it feels as if he’s a little insecure about how funny he is, so he carries on a joke a little too far to ensure everyone’s got it and it may be he’s used to immediate feedback from an audience which novel writing can’t provide. It’s still funny, but it’s overly wordy and this does provide a slightly frustrating reading experience as it doesn’t move on as quickly as it could.
There are a few other aspects where the book gets a touch frustrating. The characters aren’t terribly well written which means they blend into each other a little, particularly Trundell’s crew. There are also some characters that have a decent introduction, but then don’t play any important part in the story, like Arthur and His Knights, or go missing only to reappear for a quick punchline, like Andy. As with some other aspects of the novel, it seems as if Thomas had more ideas than he had either the talent or the focus to follow through on, meaning that there are points at which this is a novel that feels more like a sketch show than a sitcom, with a series of vaguely connected vignettes rather than a story.
Whilst “Before & After” isn’t the best novel I’ve ever read and it’s not even the best apocalyptic comedy novel I’ve ever read, it is salvaged by having some decent ideas and some genuinely funny moments. It’s also helped by that Robert Rankin novel existing, meaning I’ve read a lot worse. It may be poorly written in points and some of the jokes either don’t land or have been hammered home harder than they needed to be at the expense of moving the story along or character development, but it’s an amusing enough way to pass the time.
“Before & After” is essentially the story of Professor Michael Nostrus, a history professor hiding in the lecture halls of a London university. However, he is not all he appears to be, as he has lived for more than five centuries and has had a long and storied career, as well as a longer name, for this man once made a living as a predictor of the future, Nostradamus. As the millennium approaches, it seems that the time for the end of the world is at hand and so he makes preparations to use his knowledge to rip off a few bookmakers and insurance companies and find a bolthole where he can wait out the final battle.
This knowledge involves a huge school of fish falling on London, sheep exploding in Wales, the Great Pyramid of Giza being reclaimed by its original owners and a strange happening during the National Lottery draw. This convinces on of his students, Deborah, to join him and his equally long lived and telepathic ginger tom Aristotle in getting away from it all. Their escape will not be easy, as they are hounded by a tenacious tabloid journalist who has stumbled upon his secret, as well as Supreme Bishop Ted Trundell and his Church of the Eloquent Announcement, a group who take all the fun out of being a fundamentalist Christian and see Nostrus as ripe for the conversion. Both sides are after Nostrus, as the agents of hell, in the form of a couple of incompetent assassination demons, are also determined that Nostrus will not interfere in the final battle.
“Before & After” is a comedy novel packed with hilarious ideas, but without too much of a filter. Thomas is quite a funny guy, but he’s perhaps not the best writer, which means he uses too many words to get his points across. Sometimes it feels as if he’s a little insecure about how funny he is, so he carries on a joke a little too far to ensure everyone’s got it and it may be he’s used to immediate feedback from an audience which novel writing can’t provide. It’s still funny, but it’s overly wordy and this does provide a slightly frustrating reading experience as it doesn’t move on as quickly as it could.
There are a few other aspects where the book gets a touch frustrating. The characters aren’t terribly well written which means they blend into each other a little, particularly Trundell’s crew. There are also some characters that have a decent introduction, but then don’t play any important part in the story, like Arthur and His Knights, or go missing only to reappear for a quick punchline, like Andy. As with some other aspects of the novel, it seems as if Thomas had more ideas than he had either the talent or the focus to follow through on, meaning that there are points at which this is a novel that feels more like a sketch show than a sitcom, with a series of vaguely connected vignettes rather than a story.
Whilst “Before & After” isn’t the best novel I’ve ever read and it’s not even the best apocalyptic comedy novel I’ve ever read, it is salvaged by having some decent ideas and some genuinely funny moments. It’s also helped by that Robert Rankin novel existing, meaning I’ve read a lot worse. It may be poorly written in points and some of the jokes either don’t land or have been hammered home harder than they needed to be at the expense of moving the story along or character development, but it’s an amusing enough way to pass the time.
November 6, 2019
It begins with the cover which promises "exploding sheep, Nostradamus, and the end of the world". There's a picture of a sheep chewing grass and looking warily at his neighbor, a sheep who is blasting off into the stratosphere on the back cover.
"'Baaaaahhhhhh!' said Colin. 'KERBOOOOOOOOM!'replied Kevin."
Are you sold, yet?
Well, you should be.
A damn funny story revolving, well, exploding sheep, Nostradamus, and the end of the world (no false advertising there). The premise is that Nostradamus, as well as being a genuine prophet of great insight, is also immortal. It's the last few months before the Millennium and the end of the world is coming. Nostradamus, or Mike as he likes to be called, is looking for the best place to run and hide. And what better way to run and hide is surrounded by enjoyable characters.
Adam, the sleazy tabloid reporter; Deborah, the bright young thing to Q'almn, the multi-tentacled advertising executive from another solar system; Ted Trundell, the American televangelist to Guttlehog and Rubicante, minor demons of Hell.
The book is silly, funny and filled with a Terry Pratchett sense of wisdom and wonder. An enjoyable read for the masses and a dark, deadpan millennial tale. I've re-read this book countless times, picked one of the first copies up from a small book shop on its release, and is a book i still enjoy to today.
"'Baaaaahhhhhh!' said Colin. 'KERBOOOOOOOOM!'replied Kevin."
Are you sold, yet?
Well, you should be.
A damn funny story revolving, well, exploding sheep, Nostradamus, and the end of the world (no false advertising there). The premise is that Nostradamus, as well as being a genuine prophet of great insight, is also immortal. It's the last few months before the Millennium and the end of the world is coming. Nostradamus, or Mike as he likes to be called, is looking for the best place to run and hide. And what better way to run and hide is surrounded by enjoyable characters.
Adam, the sleazy tabloid reporter; Deborah, the bright young thing to Q'almn, the multi-tentacled advertising executive from another solar system; Ted Trundell, the American televangelist to Guttlehog and Rubicante, minor demons of Hell.
The book is silly, funny and filled with a Terry Pratchett sense of wisdom and wonder. An enjoyable read for the masses and a dark, deadpan millennial tale. I've re-read this book countless times, picked one of the first copies up from a small book shop on its release, and is a book i still enjoy to today.
April 15, 2013
As long as you go into this not expecting literary genius or much of a storyline, it's a wonderful read. (Although I felt ripped off that there weren't more sheep.) In general, sheep start exploding; Nostradamus is still alive as a quirky college professor; lots of men deal with out of control hormones; the forces of Darkness and crazy religious types plot the Apocalypse; the Final Battle ensues, lots of people die; everyone (and their sheep) lives happily ever after. And that's the book. What you don't get from this wonderfully adept summary are the funny, quirky little sayings sprinkled throughout the book, which is rife with analogies like things being lost 'like a fart in a jacuzzi.' Some of the references are dated but in the end, its a cute, little quirky book that was worth the read. However, for fellow Grammar Nazis, prepare yourself for quite a few transgressions.
February 27, 2010
An hysterical novel about the Apocalypse, and an old man, a very surprised university student, and a wise cat who are trying desperately to avoid it.
April 3, 2009
Very witty book - laughs from the very start and entertaining through to the very end.
June 4, 2020
3.5 stars. This book comes under the category of comic fantasy. Who knew there was such a category? This was a very odd but enjoyable book. I have to admit that 3/4 of the way through I almost quit reading because of the inanities.
August 24, 2020
There are so many reviews of „Before & After“ which state exactly the same impressions I had from the book that I don’t feel the need to go too much into details. It was funny, really funny, but I also felt that there were a lot of words and the storyline fell a bit short. I couldn’t stop reading because I actually really liked what I read although at some points it didn’t draw me into the story as much as I would have liked to. It is a great read, but I feel it must be difficult writing about a topic as the Apocalypse which has been written about sooooo many times.
I liked all the allusions on legends and mystical figures (especially the monks and the aliens), and although there weren’t as many sheep in the book as expected (exploding or not), the sheep were a great idea and I loved the light, fluffy and hilariously funny parts about them. Now after finishing it I almost feel a bit sorry that I wasn’t able to relate to the characters except Adam, and I still don’t actually understand why Deborah joined the ride in the first place (although there is quite some time spent on convincing her).
My rating is three stars out of five because it is a great, funny read, but it is not as gripping as I would have hoped and most characters remain a bit flat.
I liked all the allusions on legends and mystical figures (especially the monks and the aliens), and although there weren’t as many sheep in the book as expected (exploding or not), the sheep were a great idea and I loved the light, fluffy and hilariously funny parts about them. Now after finishing it I almost feel a bit sorry that I wasn’t able to relate to the characters except Adam, and I still don’t actually understand why Deborah joined the ride in the first place (although there is quite some time spent on convincing her).
My rating is three stars out of five because it is a great, funny read, but it is not as gripping as I would have hoped and most characters remain a bit flat.
August 24, 2021
Dumb, smart, and funny. Also, pretty well written. Almost reminiscent of Terry Pratchett.
October 8, 2010
The tagline says: 'A Novel About Exploding Sheep, Nostradamus, And The End Of The World'. Intrigued? So was I.
A really funny book that had me giggling from the start, especially as the very first victim in this book was a sheep called 'Kevin' who spontaneously exploded!
Loved it - will read again soon.
A really funny book that had me giggling from the start, especially as the very first victim in this book was a sheep called 'Kevin' who spontaneously exploded!
Loved it - will read again soon.
Read
April 29, 2019The sheep shall be the first sign. Those that frolic and hop will detonate with great concussion.
By God it is hilarious.
I read it again recently, with the author’s gracious assistance; still one of the funniest things I’ve ever read, that wasn’t Terry Pratchett.... sorry Mr. Thomas, you’re good - very good; almost Pratchett good 😋
By God it is hilarious.
I read it again recently, with the author’s gracious assistance; still one of the funniest things I’ve ever read, that wasn’t Terry Pratchett.... sorry Mr. Thomas, you’re good - very good; almost Pratchett good 😋
February 22, 2013
I bought this book because the back cover promised me humor and exploding sheep. Hmmm... mistake, or perhaps I just do not dig the author's sense of humor? The plot was lost underneath the so-called 'clever writing'. Some of the jokes are not so bad but the puns and word play got old after a couple of chapters...
January 31, 2021
Overall a good read. Pratchett-esque in it's approach, there are a few repeated images and a disappointing lack of explanation about 'before', 'after' or exploding sheep as the title might promise. I've not read anything else by the author, but I'd like to after this debut.
June 22, 2007
this book is a trip.... i added the book onto this website because i couldnt find it on here, i got this book while i was in Thailand it cost someone 150 baht, i traded it with a vampire story book.
June 30, 2008
Good read, Great idea and funny!
November 3, 2011
Funny, clever and thought provoking.
January 15, 2013
One of my all-time favourites. Have re-read it many times.
Humour to rival Douglas Adams: Nostradamus, Armageddon and exploding sheep. Has to be read to be believed.
Humour to rival Douglas Adams: Nostradamus, Armageddon and exploding sheep. Has to be read to be believed.
July 11, 2015
This was my second time reading it. I remember loving it the first time. I enjoyed it less the second time. Still a good story though.
Read
May 10, 2018I loved this book, light, well written, funny and a little bit twisted.
March 10, 2022
Engaging and entertaining, hilarious and laugh out loud in parts. Similar to Pratchett but with more jokes, although these are often obscure dated pop culture references. Still loved it.
Read
April 7, 2023Read it years ago, couldn't remember the name. Mostly memorable now (some decades later) because of exploding sheep.
March 28, 2020
The sheep made me buy it. I remember enjoying this book when I read it for the first time, early 2000. Couldn't get past chapter nine this time..
Rereading it now, I found the constant jokes and analogies a bit too dense (and not being British or American, there are many I don't get). About halfway through, when Trundell came in, I found it hard to keep up interest.
But all in all it was a funny story and some characters and jokes are hilarious. Also, what an achievement to write a book like this as a first and at a young age.
Rereading it now, I found the constant jokes and analogies a bit too dense (and not being British or American, there are many I don't get). About halfway through, when Trundell came in, I found it hard to keep up interest.
But all in all it was a funny story and some characters and jokes are hilarious. Also, what an achievement to write a book like this as a first and at a young age.
January 10, 2019
Daft, entertaining, enjoyable.
January 3, 2021
Abandoned on page 36 of 425. Not funny and seemed to be trying to hard.
April 7, 2011
I have finished this book for the second time and it was a good thing I was in blissfull ignorance what this book was about and why I didn´t like it the first time. If I had remembered I don´t think I would have reread it even if it was necessary for completing a challenge.
The subjectmatter wasn´t that bad but it would have been much better if Tom Holt had written this book. It wouldn´t have a joke or play on words every sentence. Which I tell you gets real old real fast. The only reason I give this book 2 stars is that some of the jokes were good and that is about the only positive thing I can say about this book and since my mum taught me that if I don´t have nothing nice to say I shouldn´t say anything, I am going to leave it there.
The subjectmatter wasn´t that bad but it would have been much better if Tom Holt had written this book. It wouldn´t have a joke or play on words every sentence. Which I tell you gets real old real fast. The only reason I give this book 2 stars is that some of the jokes were good and that is about the only positive thing I can say about this book and since my mum taught me that if I don´t have nothing nice to say I shouldn´t say anything, I am going to leave it there.
December 9, 2011
"Accursed is he who quotes the bible out of context. And that includes you, Aristo."
The Count of St Germain, 1676
It's 1999 and Nostradamus is alive and well, awaiting the coming Apocalypse while working as a history professor in a London university. Enjoyable, but a bit slow to really get going, and the humour seemed a little strained at times - I didn't get the impression of effortless flights of fancy that you get with Douglas Adams or Terry Pratchett. However by the half-way point it was definitely improving, and I was giggling as I read the last 20 pages this lunchtime. But it is a pity that we never found out what was going on with Colin and his mates in the field.
The Count of St Germain, 1676
It's 1999 and Nostradamus is alive and well, awaiting the coming Apocalypse while working as a history professor in a London university. Enjoyable, but a bit slow to really get going, and the humour seemed a little strained at times - I didn't get the impression of effortless flights of fancy that you get with Douglas Adams or Terry Pratchett. However by the half-way point it was definitely improving, and I was giggling as I read the last 20 pages this lunchtime. But it is a pity that we never found out what was going on with Colin and his mates in the field.
February 1, 2013
I admit it: I bought Thomas' book for its cover.
I have a weakness for sheep, and this book has it all: a rowdy crowd of love-lorn college students and slimy yellow-press reporters, pan-religious prophets - more often accurate than not - and fire-and-brimstone televangelists, heavy-artillery angels and fire- and other demons, and plenty of exploding sheep.
The prose - and the weirdness of some plot-twists - reminded me strongly of that other great Brit, Terry Pratchett.
What more could you possibly want?!?!
I have a weakness for sheep, and this book has it all: a rowdy crowd of love-lorn college students and slimy yellow-press reporters, pan-religious prophets - more often accurate than not - and fire-and-brimstone televangelists, heavy-artillery angels and fire- and other demons, and plenty of exploding sheep.
The prose - and the weirdness of some plot-twists - reminded me strongly of that other great Brit, Terry Pratchett.
What more could you possibly want?!?!
July 6, 2020
Hello to everyone and thank you for the feedback on 'Before and After'.
My new book 'Anthracite' is finished and currently being edited by the publishers, Unbound.com. There's still time to get your name on the list of supporters. It will be published in 2021. You can read an extract and order a paperback here -
https://unbound.com/books/anthracite/...
Cheers,
Matt
My new book 'Anthracite' is finished and currently being edited by the publishers, Unbound.com. There's still time to get your name on the list of supporters. It will be published in 2021. You can read an extract and order a paperback here -
https://unbound.com/books/anthracite/...
Cheers,
Matt
August 10, 2016
It was a struggle from around just after the pages about exploding sheep. There were some interesting characters but the plot wasn't going in a pace that would have kept me going. As it is I only got half way through so this is an incomplete read for me.
July 4, 2014
To quote the song..."It's the end of the world as we know it..." but I felt the author didn't really tie in the sheep all that well. Otherwise, humorous along the lines of Christopher Moore and Scalzi.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 37 reviews