Our world, and indeed our church, seem to be built around a 'couples culture'. From popular music to supermarket offers to 'family' events, being single can mean being the odd one out. Kate Wharton considers the challenges facing singles, addressing the issues of being complete without an 'other half', staying pure, being single again after divorce or bereavement, and dealing with pressures from both church and society. Kate reminds us that Jesus comes to bring 'life to the full', whatever our marital status. 'When we are sold out for God,' she says, 'then life will be the very best that it can be - whether married or single, with children or without - because we will be on our way to becoming who we were created to be.' Kate shows us how we can be single and whole.
Kate, an evangelical vicar in her mid-thirties, writes with refreshing candour and clarity on the spiritual, sexual, emotional and cultural challenges facing the Christian singleton who seeks to live biblically. Not only do Christian singles face pressure from secular culture - mention that you're a virgin or celibate and people look at you as if you just landed from the planet Zog - but they can also face unhelpful attitudes from the Church. (In my experience, evangelical churches seem to assume that all their singles are magically asexual.) Kate busts some of these clichés and platitudes, and also encourages singletons to dialogue honestly with their married friends about the well-meaning advice that can be unhelpful and even hurtful. She also encourages a two-way dialogue, e.g. sometimes single people can harbour unhelpful assumptions about marriage. She has a whole chapter on being 'single again', i.e. single after divorce or bereavement. Whatever the reasons for your singleness - and the reasons vary greatly - and whether you carry painful emotional/sexual baggage (or not), this is a wonderfully affirming book. Kate encourages us all, whatever our marital status, to live positive, Christ-centred lives. And she never once mentions the dreaded (and woefully misinterpreted) 'gift of singleness' (one of the most tedious evangelical clichés out there). God bless you for that, Kate. ;)
For lots of this book I thought, “Yes! This! Absolutely this!” For others parts I thought, “Um, not sure I agree with that.” Haven’t really read a book about singleness in the church before. This is good, however slightly too evangelical at times.