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Grandma the Barbarian
Chuck wishes he had a normal grandma.
Puberty can be a difficult and confusing time in any boy’s life, and 11-year-old Chuck just wants to be like all the other boys—navigating school crushes, humiliating bullies, popping awkward boners are all part of Chuck’s daily battles—and he would give anything to just blend in.
Unfortunately for Chuck, his grandma is anything but ordinary. Interdimensionally infamous Edith the Bone Muncher is a 10-foot tall, bikini-clad, battle-axe-wielding barbarian badass—and she’s come to visit her favorite grandson. Chuck wants nothing more than for his grandma to trade in her battle-axe for a pair of knitting needles. Like every adolescent boy in history, Chuck is about to be mortified by his family.
What should be a quiet backyard visit, soon turns into a wild adventure involving bikers, bars, a man-eating horse, and a bloody battle for honor when Chuck is forced to show his grandma around town. Can these two misfits spend the entire day together without getting each other killed?
GRANDMA THE BARBARIAN is a hard-boiled bizarro fiction novella with a lot of heart, plenty of gore, and the importance of family and keeping your axe blade sharp.
Join the adventure and read GRANDMA THE BARBARIAN today!
Puberty can be a difficult and confusing time in any boy’s life, and 11-year-old Chuck just wants to be like all the other boys—navigating school crushes, humiliating bullies, popping awkward boners are all part of Chuck’s daily battles—and he would give anything to just blend in.
Unfortunately for Chuck, his grandma is anything but ordinary. Interdimensionally infamous Edith the Bone Muncher is a 10-foot tall, bikini-clad, battle-axe-wielding barbarian badass—and she’s come to visit her favorite grandson. Chuck wants nothing more than for his grandma to trade in her battle-axe for a pair of knitting needles. Like every adolescent boy in history, Chuck is about to be mortified by his family.
What should be a quiet backyard visit, soon turns into a wild adventure involving bikers, bars, a man-eating horse, and a bloody battle for honor when Chuck is forced to show his grandma around town. Can these two misfits spend the entire day together without getting each other killed?
GRANDMA THE BARBARIAN is a hard-boiled bizarro fiction novella with a lot of heart, plenty of gore, and the importance of family and keeping your axe blade sharp.
Join the adventure and read GRANDMA THE BARBARIAN today!
83 pages, Kindle Edition
Published April 21, 2023
2 people are currently reading
25 people want to read
About the author
Trinity Zook
1 book7 followersTrinity Zook was raised in deep, dark, East Texas. Like all great American authors, Trinity passionately avoided the outdoors and amused himself with a childhood squandered watching horror, science fiction, cartoons, and Britcoms—living proof that too much television will rot your brain like so much zombie-enticing pâté.
Trinity has crafted over a dozen scary stories including DUST BUNNIES FROM OUTER SPACE, ATTACK OF THE KILLER CARTS, ABSTINENCE ANDY, and THE WRONG WAY MAN. Trinity’s audio play, “THE WIDOW LAKE MONSTER VS KILLCO,” was produced by the Pandemic Collective of Colorado.
When he’s not creating horrifying and bizarre tales of fiction, or assuring people that yes, Trinity is totally a guy’s name (he’s checked), he is the owner and producer of The Super Absurdist horror narration channel on YouTube. He currently thrives in The Lone Star State with his dogs, Jake and Levi, and is still cultivating that oh-so-delightful TV brain rot.
Trinity has crafted over a dozen scary stories including DUST BUNNIES FROM OUTER SPACE, ATTACK OF THE KILLER CARTS, ABSTINENCE ANDY, and THE WRONG WAY MAN. Trinity’s audio play, “THE WIDOW LAKE MONSTER VS KILLCO,” was produced by the Pandemic Collective of Colorado.
When he’s not creating horrifying and bizarre tales of fiction, or assuring people that yes, Trinity is totally a guy’s name (he’s checked), he is the owner and producer of The Super Absurdist horror narration channel on YouTube. He currently thrives in The Lone Star State with his dogs, Jake and Levi, and is still cultivating that oh-so-delightful TV brain rot.
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Displaying 1 - 11 of 11 reviews
September 10, 2023
This was such a hilariously funny wild ride, and I’m very grateful to the author for sending me a copy, which has made my weekend very enjoyable.
Eleven year old Chuck is anxiously waiting for his Grandma ‘Edith The Bone Muncher’ to arrive from Barbaria, which is in another dimension, for her annual visit. The one thing he wishes for, is to have a “normal”, pie baking, sweater knitting grandmother. Instead Edith is a gargantuan, battle-axe wielding, bikini clad warrior.
Ordered by his father, to spend the day with his grandmother, Chuck rides into town on Carrion, Edith’s huge black beast of a horse, with red eyes and a lust for human flesh. Together they embark on a crazy day, full of mayhem and battle.
This was such a lot of fun, which had me laughing my ass off 🤣 and I’m looking forward to reading a lot more from the author, especially after hinting in the book, that grandpa will be visiting…so hopefully, a lot more fun and frolics to look forward to.
If you want to forget about the stresses and strains of “real life” for a while, then pick up this book and have a bloody great time 🤪
5 ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Eleven year old Chuck is anxiously waiting for his Grandma ‘Edith The Bone Muncher’ to arrive from Barbaria, which is in another dimension, for her annual visit. The one thing he wishes for, is to have a “normal”, pie baking, sweater knitting grandmother. Instead Edith is a gargantuan, battle-axe wielding, bikini clad warrior.
Ordered by his father, to spend the day with his grandmother, Chuck rides into town on Carrion, Edith’s huge black beast of a horse, with red eyes and a lust for human flesh. Together they embark on a crazy day, full of mayhem and battle.
This was such a lot of fun, which had me laughing my ass off 🤣 and I’m looking forward to reading a lot more from the author, especially after hinting in the book, that grandpa will be visiting…so hopefully, a lot more fun and frolics to look forward to.
If you want to forget about the stresses and strains of “real life” for a while, then pick up this book and have a bloody great time 🤪
5 ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
September 21, 2023
Grab your poncho cuz you’re gonna’ need it when you meet this abuela! Edith the Bone Muncher (grandma) is a barbarian that visits her grandson and spends the day having all kinds of questionable yet hilarious (and barbarous) adventures. This story was wild and really made me chuckle often while reading. Thanks to the author for this over-the-top adventure that was the perfect escape from reality for awhile! Great ending too! I really hope there’s a follow-up story about grandpa’s visit!
September 1, 2023
What a wild ride this novella is! 11 year old Chuck wants nothing more than a normal Grandma to bake him cookies and knit him sweaters. He unfortunately for him has the opposite a barbarian granny from another dimension who battles the beasts and magic from other realms. Once a year Grandma comes to visit Chuck and the family on Earth which he dreads and is embarrassed by. What adventures will entail when she visits this summer vacation?
Totally bizarre full of humour, violence, gore and awkward sexual moments from the aging granny with big old breasts and a high sex drive. Chuck has sure got himself into trouble this time as he shows Grandma around a local carnival where he encounters a local bully, his schoolyard crush and magical witch hell bend on killing them all. I particularly loved the scenes of Chuck and Grandma at a local biker bar and Chuck getting drunk for the first time.
I was expecting a young adult adventure however this is way more gruesome and adult than the cover suggests. Whilst it could still be considered YA it definitely is not for those younger kids with the amount of violence, language and sex involved. If I had read this as a late teen it would of been one of my favourite books for sure. Reading it as an adult it's still quite amazing with how bizarre and packed full of action it is. I read it in one sitting with the pages turning and the adventure jumping from the pages. If you want something different, weird and awesome this is one to check out for sure. Alot of violent fun with some heartfelt moments thrown in. Look forward to what the author does in the future for sure.
Totally bizarre full of humour, violence, gore and awkward sexual moments from the aging granny with big old breasts and a high sex drive. Chuck has sure got himself into trouble this time as he shows Grandma around a local carnival where he encounters a local bully, his schoolyard crush and magical witch hell bend on killing them all. I particularly loved the scenes of Chuck and Grandma at a local biker bar and Chuck getting drunk for the first time.
I was expecting a young adult adventure however this is way more gruesome and adult than the cover suggests. Whilst it could still be considered YA it definitely is not for those younger kids with the amount of violence, language and sex involved. If I had read this as a late teen it would of been one of my favourite books for sure. Reading it as an adult it's still quite amazing with how bizarre and packed full of action it is. I read it in one sitting with the pages turning and the adventure jumping from the pages. If you want something different, weird and awesome this is one to check out for sure. Alot of violent fun with some heartfelt moments thrown in. Look forward to what the author does in the future for sure.
September 14, 2023
“Well, dear, I won’t lie. I just don’t think a dimension full of man-eating horses or parasitic scorpions is an appropriate place for an 11-year-old boy.”
Haha, ok this one was absurd and heart warming all at the same time! I loved it!!!
If you like your bizarro fiction with ripped barbarian grannies, man eating horses, biker bars, and carnivals, then this book is for you.
It was actually a nice coming of age story for a boy who learns to love, appreciate, and relate to his grandma who, let’s say, is “unique”.
I did not expect the ending at all!!
Trinity is definitely an author who knows how to write a story, even the battle scenes were so detailed and descriptive. This is definitely a book to add to your shelf.
Haha, ok this one was absurd and heart warming all at the same time! I loved it!!!
If you like your bizarro fiction with ripped barbarian grannies, man eating horses, biker bars, and carnivals, then this book is for you.
It was actually a nice coming of age story for a boy who learns to love, appreciate, and relate to his grandma who, let’s say, is “unique”.
I did not expect the ending at all!!
Trinity is definitely an author who knows how to write a story, even the battle scenes were so detailed and descriptive. This is definitely a book to add to your shelf.
May 9, 2023
Corn dogs are a treat, even for a bad ass grandma from Barbaria. I haven’t had this much fun with a book in a long time. This book is a water slide of weird that you ride down in a raft made of “huh, ok then…” Zook has created one of the most bonkers bizarro worlds here. Grandma the Barbarian reads like a combo of Conan and Psycho Goreman… if either of them were grandmothers. Beneath all of the bonkers, there’s a truly sweet story about our relationships with our loved ones, our realization that we are aging, and a lesson about letting others be who they want to be. A truly bad ass bizarro romp led by a grandma riding a man eating horse thing. K thx.
September 27, 2023
Chuck is an 11-year-old boy, who just wants to have a normal grandma who bakes and knits sweaters. What he has is a grandma who is a straight up beast of a barbarian! This book was a riot! Violence, gore, comedy? Yes please!
August 24, 2023
'Grandma the Barbarian' by Trinity Zook was a fun read. And, it’s difficult to review this without giving away some plot points, so fair warning: Spoilers!
The story begins with a mundane, average family in the midst of their normal, boring lives. Father, mother and a son in his early teens. They’re expecting the arrival of ‘Grandma’, aka the father’s mother. The story begins with the boy wishing that he had a ‘normal’ grandmother as they await her annual visit. And, we soon learn why she isn’t ‘normal’.
We don’t have to wait too long to see that Grandma’s arrival not simply by bus or taxi (I won’t give this part away, but it’s good). ‘Grandma the Barbarian’, a taller than average, overly muscular, cut woman in her 60s (however looks to be in her 40s) arrives from another dimension. A land where beasts and battles are the norm, and old ‘Granny’ is a fighter! However, now she’s arrived in normaltown USA, and her grandson wants her to act like the old woman she’s supposed to be during her visit.
Her grandson, Chuck, takes her to a senior living facility, but she jumps ship and ends up down the road in a biker bar and starts a brawl. The owner of the bar, a rough and tough old chick herself, strikes up a conversation after Grandma tears up the place. It’s a conversation that reminded me of Quint and Hooper’s scene from Jaws where they compared the scars on their legs. I sincerely got a kick out of this part…although it certainly doesn’t end the same way as it did in the movie, and I was grateful that the movie scene ended differently!
Later, after beating up a bully that was harassing Chuck (his nemesis for the attentions of a schoolgirl), Grandma suffers a medical incident. This is when we learn that not only are people from other dimensions commonplace, but they also can’t survive on modern earth where their bodies act the age they truly are while here on earth, and hence the reason they don’t visit very often or stay long.
After she gets out of the hospital, Chuck takes his Grandma to the carnival where the ‘bully’ shows up again. Only this time, he’s brought his own dimension-travelling grandmother, a sorceress that is prepared to do battle with Chuck’s grandma. Obviously, an epic fight ensues and during the melee, Chuck pummels his bullying nemesis with strength and courage taught to him by his granny. I won’t give away the entire finale, but to say that Grandma is victorious, and Chuck gets the girl that he’s been ogling over in class.
Grandma the Barbarian was a quick, fun read for those seeking a bit of humor mixed with the descriptive gore of hardcore warrior battles. I found myself having trouble pulling away from the story until I was finished with it, needing to know just how the big, sexy ‘Grandma’ was going to handle the next situation during her time in our dimension on earth.
The story begins with a mundane, average family in the midst of their normal, boring lives. Father, mother and a son in his early teens. They’re expecting the arrival of ‘Grandma’, aka the father’s mother. The story begins with the boy wishing that he had a ‘normal’ grandmother as they await her annual visit. And, we soon learn why she isn’t ‘normal’.
We don’t have to wait too long to see that Grandma’s arrival not simply by bus or taxi (I won’t give this part away, but it’s good). ‘Grandma the Barbarian’, a taller than average, overly muscular, cut woman in her 60s (however looks to be in her 40s) arrives from another dimension. A land where beasts and battles are the norm, and old ‘Granny’ is a fighter! However, now she’s arrived in normaltown USA, and her grandson wants her to act like the old woman she’s supposed to be during her visit.
Her grandson, Chuck, takes her to a senior living facility, but she jumps ship and ends up down the road in a biker bar and starts a brawl. The owner of the bar, a rough and tough old chick herself, strikes up a conversation after Grandma tears up the place. It’s a conversation that reminded me of Quint and Hooper’s scene from Jaws where they compared the scars on their legs. I sincerely got a kick out of this part…although it certainly doesn’t end the same way as it did in the movie, and I was grateful that the movie scene ended differently!
Later, after beating up a bully that was harassing Chuck (his nemesis for the attentions of a schoolgirl), Grandma suffers a medical incident. This is when we learn that not only are people from other dimensions commonplace, but they also can’t survive on modern earth where their bodies act the age they truly are while here on earth, and hence the reason they don’t visit very often or stay long.
After she gets out of the hospital, Chuck takes his Grandma to the carnival where the ‘bully’ shows up again. Only this time, he’s brought his own dimension-travelling grandmother, a sorceress that is prepared to do battle with Chuck’s grandma. Obviously, an epic fight ensues and during the melee, Chuck pummels his bullying nemesis with strength and courage taught to him by his granny. I won’t give away the entire finale, but to say that Grandma is victorious, and Chuck gets the girl that he’s been ogling over in class.
Grandma the Barbarian was a quick, fun read for those seeking a bit of humor mixed with the descriptive gore of hardcore warrior battles. I found myself having trouble pulling away from the story until I was finished with it, needing to know just how the big, sexy ‘Grandma’ was going to handle the next situation during her time in our dimension on earth.
July 21, 2023
Trinity Zook, fellow indie author and scribe, generously gifted me with an ARC copy of this book, and I already cannot thank them enough for doing so! "Grandma the Barbarian" follows a tale that many can relate to, in a way that's almost unrelatable, yet fantastic. Chuck is your average middle school boy who has a hard enough time simply trying to fit in in the world-- and then comes his LITERAL out of this world grandmother, "Edith the bone muncher".
Watching her try to interact in the world where her ways are seen more as taboo or savage is just hilarious. My only real criticisms with this book are that, at times, I felt like it perhaps tried describing a few things too much, after already establishing to the reader how they were; i.e. constantly describing the lewd looks and movements of Grandma's features, and one scene in particular where it explained, perhaps unnecessarily how someone was staring at the exaggerated privates of the horse, Carrion. Aside from this, I perhaps would've liked a bit more explanation of how Grandma and grandpa met in the first place. It's briefly explained, but I would've liked to have seen if maybe some conflict could've arisen in Barbaria, Edith's homeworld, because of their union. Also, to note, though it is addressed, it's never explained how the doctors knew Edith was from another dimension.
All around, this debut novella will make you laugh and want to keep turning the page!
Watching her try to interact in the world where her ways are seen more as taboo or savage is just hilarious. My only real criticisms with this book are that, at times, I felt like it perhaps tried describing a few things too much, after already establishing to the reader how they were; i.e. constantly describing the lewd looks and movements of Grandma's features, and one scene in particular where it explained, perhaps unnecessarily how someone was staring at the exaggerated privates of the horse, Carrion. Aside from this, I perhaps would've liked a bit more explanation of how Grandma and grandpa met in the first place. It's briefly explained, but I would've liked to have seen if maybe some conflict could've arisen in Barbaria, Edith's homeworld, because of their union. Also, to note, though it is addressed, it's never explained how the doctors knew Edith was from another dimension.
All around, this debut novella will make you laugh and want to keep turning the page!
July 14, 2023
This book is great! Very fast paced and entertaining. It doesn't bother much with plot and character development, but I don't think that is at all what was intended here. It's just good gory and graphic pulp fiction; if boobs and blood bother you, then stay away. I could have read this in one sitting if time allowed, but for me, time never allows, so I read it over the course of a few days. This was a very fun book and in spite of the graphic nature, a charming little story about a boy and his Gam-Gam.
February 24, 2024
This was a new author for me. Loved the title so I had to give it a go.
It was utterly mad and I LOVED it! Am I the intended audience? No!
Would I read more? Yes.
It was fun, chaotic, random. My favourite bit was the fact the fight at the end injured loads of people and Grandma RODE AWAY!
I would love to know more about the other dimensions and how authorities cope with it.
If you want something different, this is for you! It doesn't take long to read either.
I would very happily read more from this author.
It was utterly mad and I LOVED it! Am I the intended audience? No!
Would I read more? Yes.
It was fun, chaotic, random. My favourite bit was the fact the fight at the end injured loads of people and Grandma RODE AWAY!
I would love to know more about the other dimensions and how authorities cope with it.
If you want something different, this is for you! It doesn't take long to read either.
I would very happily read more from this author.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
March 18, 2024
This story is something out of another dimension, literally. I had an idea going in, but I was completely wrong on what was actually produced. This fun, bizarre story takes you on a barbarian adventure with a coming-of-age aspect. There was a bit too much of the sexuality aspect for my tastes, but the overall plot and characters were interesting and easy to follow. Very creative and definitely an escape.
Displaying 1 - 11 of 11 reviews