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320 pages, Hardcover
First published January 3, 2012
When you were dealing with Papa, you were dealing with something inevitable. You couldn’t escape him anymore than you could escape winter weather or a hard wind. You could try to hide behind something for a little while, but sooner or later you always had to step out and face it.
Then Mama began to cook supper. Lord, she could cook. She ran the house, just as Papa ran the outside work. He didn’t tell her how to cook a meal, and she didn’t tell him how much wood to chop so that we could get through the winter. It was a good setup. I don’t actually recall but one or two loud conversations, where it was obvious even to a kid that they wasn’t agreeing on something. Through them, I came to believe even then that if you take care of your corner of life, you’ll find a partner that will take care of theirs, and then you’ll have a long and happy togetherness. Otherwise, you’ll fight all the time.
Like I said, that’s the saddest song I’ve ever sung. It’s supposed to be a true song, too. And I believe it. Back when I was boy, if a girl got pregnant, she never did return home. Not pregnant and single. She just wasn’t welcome. Sometimes we’d notice one of these girls missing, and being children, we’d ask, “Where’s Mary?” The grown-ups would always have the same answer, “She’s off to college.” Even as kids we knew better. These people were just like us, so poor they did good to get a kid through grade school, let alone college. So if they said they sent one to college, it’s a sure bet she wasn’t never coming back, not unless she had a husband. And then only after many years.
“Ain’t nobody ever died of being bashful,” Papa said. “Tell you what, boys, if you’re that nervous, crawl under the bed here where we can’t see you, and do your singing there.” So Ira and I crawled under the bed, and from there we sang “Mary of the Wild Moor” with our tails together, facing opposite directions. We must’ve done a good job, too, because the room was pretty much dead silent when we finished. No giggling or chuckling at all. Still, we didn’t give Papa a chance to ask for another one. We slid down to the end of the bed, and then ran like hell out the front door. We were screwed after that, though. Once Papa’d figured out that trick for us, we had to sing from under the bed pretty much anytime anybody stopped by the house. And if we went any place, he expected us to sing at the drop of a hat. Just walking down the road, Papa’d pop his fingers and say, “Do ’em one,” and that’s the way it was. We’d do at least one song, even if that’s all we had time for. Papa saw to it. Lord, we hated him for making us sing like that. But as always with Papa, there was probably more to it than what we saw. He worked in ways you couldn’t always figure out at first, and as much as we got pissed off at having to sing, he trained all the bashfulness right out of us. By making us sing those songs for folks, he forced us to learn how to perform. And we began to understand that we could entertain folks.
That first song was electric. The whole church filled with the music of our voices. This was the first time I was really expected to sing along, but I joined in as easily as if I’d been doing it a hundred years. The human voice, that’s what they’re talking about when they say Sacred Harp, and there’s nothing like it in the world. You can’t really record it, either. Since everybody sings, it’s awful hard to get a microphone positioned so you can mix all of them. But it does your soul good to hear it.
“Come on, Charlie,” said Ira. And as scared as I was, I looked up at him. He was smiling down at me, confident and tall. And that was the thing about Ira, as much as he could convince me to do something I knew I shouldn’t do, like chop down that damn persimmon tree, he could always help me on the path to something that needed doing. There was two sides to his gift for convincing, as there was two sides to everything with him.
That was another of Ira’s gifts. You could play him a piece of music and he could take it down to its parts, pull out what he needed, and use it. He could do it with people, too. That’s why he was so good with women, even at an early age. He wasn’t ever as good-looking as he thought he was, but he could see right into them. Unfortunately, it wasn’t always a gift for the rest of us. As surely as he could pinpoint something he could take advantage of, he could spot a weakness. And if he wanted to, he could take your flesh down to the bone with it. Sure enough, from then on after he saw that girl, there’d come a time when we were singing together that he’d slip into one of those high parts and then come back down, just like she did. He built it right into our act. In a way, our entire career was built on doing unorthodox things like that, things no sensible person might do, and we learned a lot of them from Sacred Harp. Sometimes the tenor and the melody would work together, and I would go down as Ira went up, and we would end up in the same place, only he would be twice as high as I would be, and we got so many compliments on it that we started using it fairly regular. It baffled a lot of people, too, how we could change parts without nudging or winking at each other. He’d take the high lead and I’d do the low harmony under it, and he knew exactly when my part would get too high for me just like I knew when his would get too low for him, and we could change in the middle of a word. Part of the reason we could do that was that we’d learned to have a good ear for other peoples’ voices when we sang Sacred Harp. But the other part is that we were brothers. There’s no one that knows your weaknesses like a brother. I knew Ira’s, and, as he proved time and time again in our career, he surely knew mine.
Anyway, we worked the whole rest of that season from sunup until sundown. We worked until it was too dark to work, and then stumbled down to the house and rinsed our bloody hands down with rubbing alcohol, so they’d be ready to use again the next day. Because at the end of every day, Papa would show each of us that tally and say, “You’ll do that every day, or you’ll get your ass whipped.” So who was the dumb one? It sure wasn’t Papa. But being worked liked that, meeting Papa’s tallies, set us on the path of music just as much as our love of singing did. For Ira especially. One night, while climbing into bed, bone-tired after another day of picking, he said to me, “We ain’t got no choice, Charlie. You know that.” “No choice about what, Ira?” I said. I already had the blanket up to my chin and I could hardly keep my eyes open. “No choice about whether or not we make it as singers.” His voice sounded choked up, and I looked over at him. He was older than me, almost full grown, but he looked like he might just bust out in tears. “I can’t do this for the rest of my life.” “I know, Ira,” I said. And I did. I probably didn’t understand how much his back hurt from having to stoop over to keep up with the picking. Nor did I know what it felt like to be the oldest, to take Papa’s beatings the way he did. But I knew what he meant. That having a music career didn’t mean the Opry or riding around in a fancy automobile anymore. It meant not picking cotton for the rest of our lives. It meant survival.
“Charlie,” he said. “You’re gonna have to learn to play the guitar.” Well, I would have rather somebody pissed down my leg than told me something like that. “I don’t want to,” I said, hanging my head. “It’s necessary, Charlie,” he said. “The Blue Sky Boys got a mandolin and a guitar, the Monroe Brothers got a mandolin and a guitar, the Delmore Brothers got a tenor guitar and a regular guitar. I’m gonna take up the mandolin, and I need you to take up the guitar.” He was right. There was no getting around it. Every duet had what you’d call a lead instrument and a rhythm instrument. And since there was only the two of us, it wasn’t too hard to figure out who was talented enough to play the lead instrument.
It didn’t hurt us, but it convinced us that working in a woolen mill wasn’t what we wanted to do for the rest of our lives. And maybe it helped us understand that working for Papa wasn’t really any worse than working for anybody else. If you’re killing yourself to make somebody else money, there ain’t no future in it.
I’ll never forget this one pool hall. It was run by this crook who’d pay us to clear beer bottles off the tables in between songs. Only instead of throwing the beer bottles away, he’d have us take all the half-full beers over to this special cooler, where he would fill them up with other half-full beers and twist a new cap on them. Then when some guy got tipsy enough where he couldn’t tell one beer from another, this guy would sell him one of the old beers. Hell, he’d fill up more than a hundred and fifty bottles of beer a night that way. You wouldn’t believe how many half-full beers people will walk off and leave. We’d clear tables like that for an hour, and then get up and play some music.
You can weather any storm if you believe that it’s gonna be better on down the road.
We missed out on a lot of sleep, but that was part of the business. Besides, they had pills for it. Some of the boys back then, they took them even if they never got close to the steering wheel, just to get high, but I used ’em to drive. I had to. Ira couldn’t hardly drive at all because of his back and, sometimes, the beer. I used to be able to get them that were called Old Yellers, and one of them would carry me five hundred miles to do a show and five hundred miles back without sleep. Other people would take one starting out and then two more to make it there, and then three to get back home, but I never could take that many. My body’s too timid. I couldn’t handle ’em all. We were always racing the clock, pulling up just as the show was about to start. We’d pile out of the cars, and the first thing I’d say to the show’s organizer was, “You got a creek around here?” “Right down there,” they’d say, and point me at it. So I’d step down to the creek, and it’d be running just as clear and cold as could be, and I’d pour that water up on my face, then take my handkerchief and dry off, and say, “All right, let’s go.”
He always insisted that if you want to be a star, then the first thing you have to do is look like a fucking star. If you look like a star and you act like a star, then you stand a chance. But if you look like a bum and call yourself a star, they’re only gonna call you by the first name. You’re just gonna be a bum.
The good times with Eddie couldn’t last forever. Nothing does. Around 1949, Ira and I were starting to figure Memphis was getting played out. It was just like every town before. We’d done every venue that was big enough to hold a show two or three times over, and that’s just about all people will put up with from you. They won’t come to see the same program over and over.
I never could understand the drinking. Not with Hank, and not with Ira, either. Whiskey don’t cure nothing. You might forget what you’re trying to forget tonight, but when you wake up tomorrow, it’ll be back. And so will your headache and hangover. It’ll just multiply on you, and eventually whiskey won’t do any good at all for what you’re trying to use it for. Whether it be to forget or to have a good time, there’ll come a day when it’ll require more than you can drink, more than anybody can drink. And that will be your complete downfall. That’s what happened to Hank. It got to where the whiskey couldn’t do him any good, so he had to move on to something stronger.
If I was looking at someone else with the career path we had, I’d have probably told them to let it go at that point. I don’t know how long you should keep trying if you don’t seem to be making any progress. There comes a time when you just have to say, “I’ve given it my best and it wasn’t good enough.” But we never could do that.
We’ve had some others in Nashville that you never saw totally straight, that’s for sure. George Jones was probably the worst. I worked a show with him once and we were standing back in the wings waiting to go on. He was acting a little peculiar, so I asked, “You been drinking, George?” “Naw,” he said. “I been working on my drinking problem.” “How’s that?” By way of an answer, he reached in his coat pocket, pulled out a handful of cocaine, and buried his nose in it, snorting. Then, when he’d fixed up that side of his nose, he went after the other.
“How’s that working for you?” I asked. “Pretty good,” he said. “Waylon told me it’d help.”
A lot of times I’d come home, and the first thing she’d do is tell me that she’d told one or another of them that I would whip his ass. But I never did have much stomach for that. I’d say, “Hey, I didn’t come home to beat the kids. I come home to enjoy them.”
Teddy and Doyle of the Wilburn Brothers didn’t get along. And the Delmore Brothers didn’t get along, either. It seemed like in every duet, there’d be one of them that was a drinker. In the Delmore Brothers, it was Rabon, and in the Wilburn Brothers, it was Doyle. You’d think two brothers from the same family would be something alike. But it never worked out that way.
It’d get him trouble now and then, too. Once we were working a dance in Buzzard Roost, Texas, and some guy came over and asked Ira, “Buddy, would you do me a great favor?” He was a big old boy, as tall as Ira, but about twice as broad. “If I can, I will,” Ira said. “My wife really wants to dance with you,” the guy said. “She does?” Ira said. “Which one is she?” “That’s her right there,” the guy said, pointing. And she was a real beauty. Had to be the prettiest woman in Buzzard Roost, anyway. “I don’t know if it’s a good idea,” Ira said, but he was still looking at her, ogling her, really, and I could already tell how this was gonna end. “Aw, there’s nothing to it,” the guy said. “Just do me a favor and dance with her for one song.” Well, Ira got out there and started to dance with her. And as the song wore on, they kept moving a little closer together. Right up until that guy walked out on the dance floor, grabbed Ira’s shoulder, and just knocked the shit out of him. Laid him out on the floor. “What the hell’s wrong with you, man?” I said. “You talked him into it.” “I asked him to dance with her,” the guy said. “Not fuck her on the dance floor.”
It’s not very cool when you go to enough funerals to eradicate an entire family, an entire generation. It’s the worst feeling in the world, if you want the truth.
Old age is different from anything you’ll ever encounter in your life. Your head will lie to you, your heart will lie to you, and your pecker will lie to you. You’ll see something sitting there that you used to handle with one hand, just pick it up and sling it, and your head will tell you, “Are you kidding, man? You’ve lifted twice that much.” Then you’ll grab ahold of it and find out that it’s more than you can handle. Those golden years they talk about, they’re bullshit.