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Slow Sex: The Art and Craft of the Female Orgasm
The truth is: Most women do not have satisfying sex lives. SLOW SEX can change that.
Better sex is about one thing: better orgasm. This life-altering guide teaches men and women how to use the practice of Orgasmic Meditation-or OM-to slow down, connect emotionally, and achieve authentic female sexual satisfaction. The promise: In just fifteen minutes every woman can become orgasmic. And, with the right partner and the right technique, that orgasm could last and last!
For more than a decade, Nicole Daedone has been leading the "slow sex movement," which is devoted to the art and craft of the female orgasm. OM is the act of slowing down, tuning in, and experiencing a deeper spiritual and physical connection during sex. SLOW SEX reveals the philosophy and techniques of OM and includes a step-by-step, ten-day OM starter program, as well as OM secrets for achieving ultimate satisfaction. It also includes exercises to help enhance readers' "regular" sex lives, such as Slow Oral for Her, Slow Oral for Him, and Slow Intercourse.
This book is the argument for daily intimacy, and for paying attention as the foundation of pleasure, all with a focus on the female experience.
Better sex is about one thing: better orgasm. This life-altering guide teaches men and women how to use the practice of Orgasmic Meditation-or OM-to slow down, connect emotionally, and achieve authentic female sexual satisfaction. The promise: In just fifteen minutes every woman can become orgasmic. And, with the right partner and the right technique, that orgasm could last and last!
For more than a decade, Nicole Daedone has been leading the "slow sex movement," which is devoted to the art and craft of the female orgasm. OM is the act of slowing down, tuning in, and experiencing a deeper spiritual and physical connection during sex. SLOW SEX reveals the philosophy and techniques of OM and includes a step-by-step, ten-day OM starter program, as well as OM secrets for achieving ultimate satisfaction. It also includes exercises to help enhance readers' "regular" sex lives, such as Slow Oral for Her, Slow Oral for Him, and Slow Intercourse.
This book is the argument for daily intimacy, and for paying attention as the foundation of pleasure, all with a focus on the female experience.
243 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2011
447 people are currently reading
3883 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 94 reviews
May 18, 2013
Yes. This book is worth reading. Good stuff. Thought provoking. That's all I'll say. Except that some of the gendered generalizations did not fly with me, particularly the ones about women needing to stop breaking down in order to make a man feel safe in bed. Nevertheless, if you skip the chapters about what men and women really want, you'll very much enjoy the rest. And no, I have not practiced this technique yet but I am intrigued to know that it exists. And now that is really all I'll say. (Blushing)
July 1, 2013
A one trick pony - OMing (a form of sexual mindfulness) is her universal answer. She guarantees women an orgasm every time by redefining "orgasm" to not require climax. In fact it is stretched to the point that it is present even in boring or somewhat unpleasant episodes – since you’re being so very open and Zen that you accept them all with equal-mindedness. Hmmm … does orgasm mean anything at all in this context? By the end orgasm almost seems to be an attitude or state of mind. Only for couples, nothing offered to do by oneself. I didn't feel her psychological comments about either sex (particularly her explanations and elaborations) contained much insight. Nonetheless, certain people may respond to it.
May 31, 2013
For reasons that I suspect that have more to do with this country's puritanical conditioning than with me, it gave me pause to read a book about sex. But I'm glad I did. It's worth it.
This is a book for couples looking to unlock an emotional depth that can only be achieved by sexual intimacy. Not the kind of intimacy we see in Hollywood movies but the real kind. It took me no time at all -- days -- to get into, process, discuss and ultimately use the techniques in this book to bring me closer to my wife.
This is a book for couples looking to unlock an emotional depth that can only be achieved by sexual intimacy. Not the kind of intimacy we see in Hollywood movies but the real kind. It took me no time at all -- days -- to get into, process, discuss and ultimately use the techniques in this book to bring me closer to my wife.
July 14, 2019
A very nice read! Enjoyed this audiobook!
November 12, 2013
It's really about way more than sex. It recommends a kind of practice that can potentially transform ones life.
September 21, 2013
"Better sex is about...better orgasm. Teaches men & women the practice of orgasmic meditation -- om -- to slow down. Connect emotionally, achieve authentic female satisfaction. The 'slow sex movement' is devoted to the art & craft. OM is the act of slowing down, tuning in, experiencing a deeper spiritual & physical connection during sex. The philosophy & techniques of OM as well as exercises for 'regular' sex life... This book is an argument for daily intercourse. it's also an argument for paying attention as the foundation for pleasure with focus on the female experience. combine meditative awareness with sexual pleasure."
June 3, 2017
A tantric sex teacher I know recommended this book when I was working on the book 'Sensation.' This is wonderful, rich, and brave and simply the best book about female sexuality that I've ever read. If you have a partner and he/ she is at all committed to the quality of your sexual experience or you are to theirs then I couldn't recommend this more. :-) x i
April 27, 2012
This sounds like a good thing but I can't imagine that very many men would be interested in signing up for it -- and as a woman -- it sounds a lot like work -- but that could be because I'm not in a relationship right now :-)
August 25, 2013
It comes off a bit gimmicky and over-simplified, but I think Nicole's technique is a good jumping-off point for anyone looking for "deeper connection" in their sex life. I really enjoyed her own biographical monologue in the first chapter; and didn't enjoy the branded-marketing feeling we get when she talks about "OM" and "turnon".
June 22, 2015
A little bit difficult to put it into practice at first, but once you manage to get the m.o. in your repertoire, your sex life will boost to new levels. The hard thing is to convince your parnter to start.
September 18, 2014
Interesting, but not much fun alone. I couldn't actually say if this book was helpful or not, since it's intended for couples and at the moment I'm not part of one of those. I'll also need to see if it's available in Spanish.
So at some point in the future I'd like to listen to this again, but WITH someone.
So at some point in the future I'd like to listen to this again, but WITH someone.
October 11, 2011
This book promised a lot but was not at all what I was expecting. I thought it was a self help book for women but really its a gimicky boring and clumsy book for middle aged men to get them to rethink about sex and orgasims and pleasing their partner. I didn't finish it.
July 20, 2011
yay sex cult!
June 29, 2016
Fascinating sexuality practice that emphasizes awareness and connection.
June 24, 2024
An excellent and crucial read that sets the standard for how sex books in the market should be.
4.5/5 stars
This book follows the journey of (controversial) Nicole Daedone in her journey to help couples unlock the female orgasm through the concept of Orgasmic Meditation, or OM. The idea, preface, and theoretical execution of it is brilliant, and helps subvert traditional notions of sex for a more nuanced understanding that sex cannot be mechanical or approached in a way that demands an exact formula or recipe. While there is so much room to expand on such an idea, I enjoy how the books focus was clearly just the OM, and didn't try to really dig deep onto how we should be revamping hegemonic notions of sex. What I didn't like was Nicole negating the presence of science in sex, as that diminishes the entire field of sexology and erotology– the science of human sexuality and erotology.
What I really loved was that Nicole didn't just try to say that good and improved sex comes from cuter lingerie, perfumes, mirrors, or sex toys. Instead, she pointed out that novelty has its limit, and the solution isn't to keep seeking more, more, and more, but to go back to basics.
However, OM isn't applicable to all couples. For example, if a woman isn't happy because her husband is failing to provide security, safety, and trust in other aspects of their lives, she is not going to be so willing to engage in such an intimate act. Even if they do, it won't have the effect needed, and it's a bit outlandish to suggest otherwise. OM really is for the couple that is generally doing good in all aspects of their lives but are having some hiccups in the bedroom and within their connection.
I also understand where the generalization that women have negative associations with their body while men have happy ones (like pride) comes from, but I don't think we should really be ignoring the nuance that comes with how society (porn) has really torn down the body image of both genders. I don't think that the section on men should've been an appendix, but should have had its own chapter too.
Ultimately, a worthwhile fast read that can be applied to some couples.
4.5/5 stars
This book follows the journey of (controversial) Nicole Daedone in her journey to help couples unlock the female orgasm through the concept of Orgasmic Meditation, or OM. The idea, preface, and theoretical execution of it is brilliant, and helps subvert traditional notions of sex for a more nuanced understanding that sex cannot be mechanical or approached in a way that demands an exact formula or recipe. While there is so much room to expand on such an idea, I enjoy how the books focus was clearly just the OM, and didn't try to really dig deep onto how we should be revamping hegemonic notions of sex. What I didn't like was Nicole negating the presence of science in sex, as that diminishes the entire field of sexology and erotology– the science of human sexuality and erotology.
What I really loved was that Nicole didn't just try to say that good and improved sex comes from cuter lingerie, perfumes, mirrors, or sex toys. Instead, she pointed out that novelty has its limit, and the solution isn't to keep seeking more, more, and more, but to go back to basics.
However, OM isn't applicable to all couples. For example, if a woman isn't happy because her husband is failing to provide security, safety, and trust in other aspects of their lives, she is not going to be so willing to engage in such an intimate act. Even if they do, it won't have the effect needed, and it's a bit outlandish to suggest otherwise. OM really is for the couple that is generally doing good in all aspects of their lives but are having some hiccups in the bedroom and within their connection.
I also understand where the generalization that women have negative associations with their body while men have happy ones (like pride) comes from, but I don't think we should really be ignoring the nuance that comes with how society (porn) has really torn down the body image of both genders. I don't think that the section on men should've been an appendix, but should have had its own chapter too.
Ultimately, a worthwhile fast read that can be applied to some couples.
June 15, 2023
Book rec from Matt D'Avella???
July 6, 2023
meh. not worth it.
August 2, 2019
Audio book version. I have mixed feelings about this book. While there are some good points and takeaways, the continuous effort of the author to convince the reader to buy into the practice of OM was redundant. I suppose if the reader is repressed this may be necessary but I found it exhausting and on the verge of annoying. The meat of the book would encompass maybe 100 pages if it weren’t for the reiteration of a couple of main themes. As it is the book is closer to 250 pages. I can say I’ve come away from this book with a renewed perspective on sex and intimacy. Four stars for the ideas and techniques, two stars for redundancy.
March 7, 2021
This was a hard slog to get through. If you already into tantra sex. Then don't worry about this one. It's a take on that but renamed and claimed as slow sex.
It's about making that deeper connection than just physical and I don't disagree with much of it.
But the tough part is getting through the amount of waffle involved! Then there's the self praise that continually crops up.
But if your looking for something new than just sex techniques, this might do it for you.
Enjoy.
It's about making that deeper connection than just physical and I don't disagree with much of it.
But the tough part is getting through the amount of waffle involved! Then there's the self praise that continually crops up.
But if your looking for something new than just sex techniques, this might do it for you.
Enjoy.
March 21, 2018
what's with all the "this is what women want" "this is what men want"
like can we not with the idea that all women are emotionally complicated and need to be protected and saved from their own minds whereas men are simple and have low emotional intelligence
like can we not with the idea that all women are emotionally complicated and need to be protected and saved from their own minds whereas men are simple and have low emotional intelligence
June 2, 2019
(The English review is placed beneath Russian one)
Абсолютно никакая книга, если вы уже занимаетесь такими практиками как йога, осознанность или что-то из спиритического типа New Age. Так как я вижу в подобных книгах одну воду и пару здравых, но очевидных идей, я редко когда дохожу даже до середины книги, ибо в сон тянет невероятно сильно. Возможно, книга как раз пригодится тем, кто никак не может уснуть (не смотря на такую животрепещущую тему).
Как это часто принято у подобных авторов, «главный секрет» всё не приходит и не приходит. Я имею в виду, автор постоянно говорит, что вот сейчас она закончит с введением и приступит наконец-то к основному обсуждению. И так четверть книги. Пересказывать эту четверть просто невозможно, т.к. всё это общие слова и очевидные вещи. К сожалению, даже перейдя к конкретике, автор всё равно не сойдёт с проторенной дорожки. К примеру, автор долго будет объяснять, что оргазм мужчины и женщины различается (а мы-то и не знали!) и посвятит этому вопросу довольно много времени. Кажется, что это абсолютно лишняя информация лишь вгоняет в сон (что она как раз и делает и мне кажется, это одна из целей книги, но только вгонять не в сон, а в транс). Или где автор говорит о важности делиться друг с другом тем, что один партнёр ожидает от другого. Идея здравая, но появляется прямо или косвенно чуть ли не в каждой книге по самопомощи. Следующий пример: вибратор. Автор пишет, что женщине следует отказаться от его использования, т.к. это притупляет ощущения и что из-за этого придётся в будущем прикладывать куда больше сил и стараний, чтобы добиться такого же эффекта как в прошлом. Следовательно, рекомендует автор, стоит использовать свои собственные пальцы. Честно сказать, ничего подобного я ещё никогда не встречал. Возможно, это правда. Но стоит подчеркнуть, что автор ничем не подтверждает эту свою мысль. Вот и получается, что читатель либо верит на слово, либо приходит к убеждению, что эта книга, ни что иное как вымученные советы, которые должны разбавить главный ингредиент т.е. йога, осознанность и пр.
В общем, от этой книги не стоит ожидать некий аналог книг по самопомощи. И поэтому лучше обратиться к альтернативам (благо они есть).
P.S. История с помидором мне совершенно не зашла. Это напоминает технику осознанности, но если в этом суть (ощущать текущий момент, когда ешь помидор, стараться осознать всё, что связанно с этим процессом включая вкус, запах и сделать это максимально осознанно) всей техники «медленного секса», то тогда проще почитать книги непосредственно по данной теме, т.е. по техникам осознанности.
Absolutely an idle book if you are already practicing yoga, awareness or something spiritual likes New Age. Since I see only one water and a couple of good but obvious ideas in such books, I rarely even get to the middle of the book, because the book lulls me down. Perhaps the book will be useful for those who can't fall asleep (despite such a vibrant topic).
As it is often accepted by such authors, "the main secret" all does not come and does not come. I mean, the author constantly says that now she will finish with the introduction and finally start the main discussion. And so a quarter of the book. It is simply impossible to retell this quarter, because all these are common words and obvious things. Unfortunately, even after moving on to specifics, the author will not get off the beaten track anyway. For example, the author will be explaining for a long time that the orgasm of a man and a woman is different (as if we didn't know it!) and will devote a lot of time to this issue. It seems that this absolutely unnecessary information only makes you sleepy (which is exactly what it does, and it seems to me that this is one of the goals of the book, but only to drive you into a trance rather than a dream). Or where the author talks about the importance of sharing what one partner expects from another. The idea is sensible, but it appears directly or indirectly in almost every self-help book. The next example: a vibrator. The author writes that a woman should refuse to use it, because it dulls her senses, which in the future will require much more effort to achieve the same effect as in the past. Therefore, the author recommends that the woman should use her own fingers. To be honest, I have never read anything like this before. Maybe it's true. But it should be emphasized that the author does not confirm this idea in any way. So it turns out that the reader either takes her word for it or comes to the conclusion that the book is nothing but her own advices, which should dilute the main ingredient of the book - yoga, awareness, etc.
In general, this book should not be expected to be an analogue of self-help books. And so it is better to turn to alternatives.
P.S. I did not like the tomato story at all. It reminds me of the technique of awareness, but if that's the essence of the "slow sex" technique, then it's easier to read books directly on the subject, i.e. on the techniques of awareness (to feel the current moment when you eat a tomato, to try to understand everything related to this process, including taste, smell and do it as consciously as possible).
Абсолютно никакая книга, если вы уже занимаетесь такими практиками как йога, осознанность или что-то из спиритического типа New Age. Так как я вижу в подобных книгах одну воду и пару здравых, но очевидных идей, я редко когда дохожу даже до середины книги, ибо в сон тянет невероятно сильно. Возможно, книга как раз пригодится тем, кто никак не может уснуть (не смотря на такую животрепещущую тему).
Как это часто принято у подобных авторов, «главный секрет» всё не приходит и не приходит. Я имею в виду, автор постоянно говорит, что вот сейчас она закончит с введением и приступит наконец-то к основному обсуждению. И так четверть книги. Пересказывать эту четверть просто невозможно, т.к. всё это общие слова и очевидные вещи. К сожалению, даже перейдя к конкретике, автор всё равно не сойдёт с проторенной дорожки. К примеру, автор долго будет объяснять, что оргазм мужчины и женщины различается (а мы-то и не знали!) и посвятит этому вопросу довольно много времени. Кажется, что это абсолютно лишняя информация лишь вгоняет в сон (что она как раз и делает и мне кажется, это одна из целей книги, но только вгонять не в сон, а в транс). Или где автор говорит о важности делиться друг с другом тем, что один партнёр ожидает от другого. Идея здравая, но появляется прямо или косвенно чуть ли не в каждой книге по самопомощи. Следующий пример: вибратор. Автор пишет, что женщине следует отказаться от его использования, т.к. это притупляет ощущения и что из-за этого придётся в будущем прикладывать куда больше сил и стараний, чтобы добиться такого же эффекта как в прошлом. Следовательно, рекомендует автор, стоит использовать свои собственные пальцы. Честно сказать, ничего подобного я ещё никогда не встречал. Возможно, это правда. Но стоит подчеркнуть, что автор ничем не подтверждает эту свою мысль. Вот и получается, что читатель либо верит на слово, либо приходит к убеждению, что эта книга, ни что иное как вымученные советы, которые должны разбавить главный ингредиент т.е. йога, осознанность и пр.
В общем, от этой книги не стоит ожидать некий аналог книг по самопомощи. И поэтому лучше обратиться к альтернативам (благо они есть).
P.S. История с помидором мне совершенно не зашла. Это напоминает технику осознанности, но если в этом суть (ощущать текущий момент, когда ешь помидор, стараться осознать всё, что связанно с этим процессом включая вкус, запах и сделать это максимально осознанно) всей техники «медленного секса», то тогда проще почитать книги непосредственно по данной теме, т.е. по техникам осознанности.
Absolutely an idle book if you are already practicing yoga, awareness or something spiritual likes New Age. Since I see only one water and a couple of good but obvious ideas in such books, I rarely even get to the middle of the book, because the book lulls me down. Perhaps the book will be useful for those who can't fall asleep (despite such a vibrant topic).
As it is often accepted by such authors, "the main secret" all does not come and does not come. I mean, the author constantly says that now she will finish with the introduction and finally start the main discussion. And so a quarter of the book. It is simply impossible to retell this quarter, because all these are common words and obvious things. Unfortunately, even after moving on to specifics, the author will not get off the beaten track anyway. For example, the author will be explaining for a long time that the orgasm of a man and a woman is different (as if we didn't know it!) and will devote a lot of time to this issue. It seems that this absolutely unnecessary information only makes you sleepy (which is exactly what it does, and it seems to me that this is one of the goals of the book, but only to drive you into a trance rather than a dream). Or where the author talks about the importance of sharing what one partner expects from another. The idea is sensible, but it appears directly or indirectly in almost every self-help book. The next example: a vibrator. The author writes that a woman should refuse to use it, because it dulls her senses, which in the future will require much more effort to achieve the same effect as in the past. Therefore, the author recommends that the woman should use her own fingers. To be honest, I have never read anything like this before. Maybe it's true. But it should be emphasized that the author does not confirm this idea in any way. So it turns out that the reader either takes her word for it or comes to the conclusion that the book is nothing but her own advices, which should dilute the main ingredient of the book - yoga, awareness, etc.
In general, this book should not be expected to be an analogue of self-help books. And so it is better to turn to alternatives.
P.S. I did not like the tomato story at all. It reminds me of the technique of awareness, but if that's the essence of the "slow sex" technique, then it's easier to read books directly on the subject, i.e. on the techniques of awareness (to feel the current moment when you eat a tomato, to try to understand everything related to this process, including taste, smell and do it as consciously as possible).
August 4, 2011
Just not feeling it right now.
September 19, 2011
Everyone should read this book. This book will change your life.
August 10, 2012
I wrote a stunning review and it didn't show up. Cest la vie.
January 27, 2026
Daedone sets forth the OM practice in a straightforward manner. Some of that practice requires journaling, which I hate. But at least there does seem to be sufficient sample journal prompts to make journaling not completely odious. The main points of the practice seem to be exercising attention (to your partner and yourself) and communication. What I found really helpful from this book is the linguistic modeling of sensations that one should be paying attention to.
December 5, 2020
Great book, worth the read, but I found the heteronormativity and gender assumptions distracting.
October 17, 2021
It was an okay read, OM is something I already know but I didn’t know it had a name ; the back n forth from childhood to tips was so confusing and awkward .
July 25, 2023
Excellent work of fiction, climax was a little underwhelming though
June 30, 2011
Reviewed at: Over A Cuppa Tea
Review date: 1 July 2011
Review link: http://cleffairy.com/?p=5633
My husband was positively flabbergasted when he saw this inside one of my ‘pornography’ reading list. Gosh, what wouldn’t I give to see him blush and flustered like that again? I’d give anything just to see that again. I love it when he’s surprised like that and looked at me as if he’s discovered something new and absolutely wicked about me.
Anyway… enough with my amusement… LOL. I can assure you it won’t be my last. Now, without further ado, allow me to proceed with the review of this book.
Again…this book is not pornography book where Playboy bunnies prance around in their skimpy outfit. No. This is not that sort of book. This, ladies and gentleman, is a self-help book that teaches you the art of pleasuring yourself, and your other half. It teaches you to slow down a little bit where bedroom matters are concern and teaches you how to prolong pleasure and connect yourself not only physically, but emotionally with your partner.
This book is a very good self-help book. Every couple who wishes for a much more satisfying sex life should read this book. I assure you you’d learn a few things to put your sheets on fire a little bit.
I rate this book 5 stars. Intensely pleasurable and educational read. :D I received an ARC of this book from Grand Central Publishing via Netgalley. I was not required to write a positive review for this book and I was not compensated in any ways for this.
Review date: 1 July 2011
Review link: http://cleffairy.com/?p=5633
My husband was positively flabbergasted when he saw this inside one of my ‘pornography’ reading list. Gosh, what wouldn’t I give to see him blush and flustered like that again? I’d give anything just to see that again. I love it when he’s surprised like that and looked at me as if he’s discovered something new and absolutely wicked about me.
Anyway… enough with my amusement… LOL. I can assure you it won’t be my last. Now, without further ado, allow me to proceed with the review of this book.
Again…this book is not pornography book where Playboy bunnies prance around in their skimpy outfit. No. This is not that sort of book. This, ladies and gentleman, is a self-help book that teaches you the art of pleasuring yourself, and your other half. It teaches you to slow down a little bit where bedroom matters are concern and teaches you how to prolong pleasure and connect yourself not only physically, but emotionally with your partner.
This book is a very good self-help book. Every couple who wishes for a much more satisfying sex life should read this book. I assure you you’d learn a few things to put your sheets on fire a little bit.
I rate this book 5 stars. Intensely pleasurable and educational read. :D I received an ARC of this book from Grand Central Publishing via Netgalley. I was not required to write a positive review for this book and I was not compensated in any ways for this.
August 22, 2019
At first, I was intrigued by the book, as I never heard of this practices and wanted to learn more. Also, at the start the author explores believes and difficulties some woman faced in relation to sex. I like how she reminded women, who do have a believe that their are not good at sex, can’t climax/orgasm, don’t know anything about sex ect are only continuing to fall into a pitfall of unenviable sex, as often such believes program them not to enjoy own sensations during sex, learn what their desire and continue focusing satisfying only partner leaving own sensations and needs undiscovered.
I liked how the author went on sharing the most common questions people ask about sex, a practice of oming.
Half way through I started to feel skeptical about the book and I can’t figure out why, as the other half of the book focuses of a deeper explanation on the practice. Maybe it’s a fact that she wrote a Om community and made me to imagine some cult or the fact that there is a lot of repetition. I am aware that both reasons are ridicule, but never the less I just didn’t enjoy it anymore, therefore score this book 3 stars.
I would recommend this book to people with partners and who are curious to try something different or have issues in the bedroom, maybe this practice could be the answer for you and if it isn’t, at least,like me, you have learn about another sex practice.
I liked how the author went on sharing the most common questions people ask about sex, a practice of oming.
Half way through I started to feel skeptical about the book and I can’t figure out why, as the other half of the book focuses of a deeper explanation on the practice. Maybe it’s a fact that she wrote a Om community and made me to imagine some cult or the fact that there is a lot of repetition. I am aware that both reasons are ridicule, but never the less I just didn’t enjoy it anymore, therefore score this book 3 stars.
I would recommend this book to people with partners and who are curious to try something different or have issues in the bedroom, maybe this practice could be the answer for you and if it isn’t, at least,like me, you have learn about another sex practice.
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