Boogers Are My Beat: More Lies, But Some Actual Journalism!

by Dave Barry, Jeff MacNelly (Illustrator), Chris Cassatt (Illustrator)

The New York Times calls him “the funniest man in America,” and his legions of fans agree, laughing and snorting as they put his books on bestseller lists nationwide.

In Boogers Are My Beat , Dave gives us the real scoop

• The scientific search for the world’s funniest joke (you can bet it includes the word “weasel”)
• RV camping in the Wal-Mart parking lot
• Outwitting “smart” kitchen appliances and service contracts
• Elections in Florida (“You can’t spell Florida without ‘duh’”)
• The Olympics, where people from all over the world come together to accuse each other of cheating
• The truth about the Dakotas, the Lone Ranger, and feng shui
• The choice between death and taxes
And much, much more—including some truths about journalism and serious thoughts about 9/11.

Dave Barry won the Pulitzer Prize for commentary in 1988, and his columns are syndicated in more than 500 newspapers. His most recent books, Dave Barry Is Not Taking This Sitting Down and the novels Big Trouble and Tricky Business , were national bestsellers. He lives in Miami, Floriduh.

Also available as an eBook

Genres: Humor, Nonfiction, Essays, Comedy, Politics, Anthologies, Collections

256 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2003

About the author

Dave Barry is a humor writer. For 25 years he was a syndicated columnist whose work appeared in more than 500 newspapers in the United States and abroad. In 1988 he won the Pulitzer Prize for Commentary. Many people are still trying to figure out how this happened.
Dave has also written many books, virtually none of which contain useful information. Two of his books were used as the basis for the CBS TV sitcom "Dave's World," in which Harry Anderson played a much taller version of Dave.
Dave plays lead guitar in a literary rock band called the Rock Bottom Remainders, whose other members include Stephen King, Amy Tan, Ridley Pearson and Mitch Albom. They are not musically skilled, but they are extremely loud. Dave has also made many TV appearances, including one on the David Letterman show where he proved that it is possible to set fire to a pair of men's underpants with a Barbie doll.
In his spare time, Dave is a candidate for president of the United States. If elected, his highest priority will be to seek the death penalty for whoever is responsible for making Americans install low-flow toilets.
Dave lives in Miami, Florida, with his wife, Michelle, a sportswriter. He has a son, Rob, and a daughter, Sophie, neither of whom thinks he's funny.

Reviews

[Linda · Rating 3 out of 5]

I can remember laughing hysterically at Dave Barry's columns in the past so I was looking forward to reading this. It is a collections of his columns from the early 2000's. And perhaps that was the problem.

The first section of the book dealt with politics and I just wasn't feeling the humor. Perhaps that is modern politics intruding onto these older columns or perhaps political humor just doesn't hold up as well over time.

Fortunately, after that first section things improved and I was laughing out loud at some of his observations. Still, overall, he just wasn't as funny as I remember. I suspect that says more about me than about him and, frankly, it's somewhat troubling. Still, for inveterate Dave Barry fans, it is worth reading.

[Glen · Rating 3 out of 5]

A collection of columns from humorist Dave Barry, dating from the turn of the 21 century. A lot of the humor is dated, but some of it is still good.

[Sarah · Rating 4 out of 5]

Excellent collection of essays. The September 11 essays show his true writing ability.

[Finn K · Rating 5 out of 5]

this book is a hilarious page turner. every chapter there are new stories that have funny bits all the way through.

[John Bruni · Rating 5 out of 5]

More top-notch humor from Dave Barry! Most of these columns were written in 2000 and 2001. It's easy to forget what that time was like. It was the very brink of 9/11, when we were all lazy and content and confident in our place in the world, completely oblivious to the idea that said world was about to change drastically. I think my favorite piece in here is about smart house technology. Now it's a common thing to be able to communicate with your fridge. Back then it was unthinkable. Barry complained about how he already had a method of knowing if he needed milk: "I ask my wife if we need milk." Also, I wonder if anyone ever used any of his rock band names to actually name their rock band.

The final two essays are, however, very serious. The first was written the day after 9/11, and the second was written one year later. You don't really think of Barry as writing about serious things, but I have read an essay or two (and a couple of novels), and I know he's very good at it. The first will bring you back to 9/11 itself, and it will remind you of what you felt on that day. I remember it vividly because my father was on a plane coming to see me on that day. Thankfully his plane was grounded in Nebraska, far away from any terrorist.

The second one, however, is more heartrending. Barry compares the field where United 93 came down to Gettysburg Cemetery. It's haunting, and it will make you at least tear up a bit. So read this book for the laughs, but don't forget these last two essays. Hell, I don't think you'll be able to. They will stick with you for the rest of your life.

[Jerry Jares · Rating 4 out of 5]

With a title like this, it has to be Dave Barry, that irreverent scion of humorous journalism. Can you believe it? The powers-that-be allowed Barry to shadow the 2000 Presidential Conventions and election. If that weren't bad enough, they allowed him to report on the Olympics. The Olympic Committee will probably never let Dave Barry near any of the contests again.

After Barry made mincemeat of the most famous races in the world and blew off the 2000 election season, he was off to more manly subjects: humvees, chain saws and appliances smarter than Dave Barry (most of them already are but there are more frightening ones on the horizon). Then North Dakota comes within Dave's 20-20 eyesight and he ridicules the population (of 15) so mercilessly that the state wants to drop the 'North' so folks think it is warmer than the state formerly-known-as North Dakota. To pay him back, the state names a sewage lifter after the famous pundit.

But the thing that shocked me the most was the addition of the last two chapters. They are the two articles Dave Barry wrote after 9/11/2001. The man can write eloquent prose about serious subjects. Both are memorable but the thought behind 'Hallowed Ground' was particularly poignant.

[Debra Pawlak · Rating 4 out of 5]

Writer Dave Barry can always be counted on for a good laugh. 'Boogers Are My Beat' is no exception. This book is a collection of articles that he has written for his newspaper column that is in syndication practically everywhere. Originally published in 2003, this book covers politics, family, the Olympics, and much more. I found it interesting that some of his columns from more than twenty years ago remain pertinent today. He especially pokes fun at his job as a 'newspaperman' and finds humor in everyday life. He also discusses some of his other writer pals--think Amy Tan and Stephen King. Barry can also be serious--honest! His last two essays centered on the events of 9/11 when no one had the heart to laugh--even Dave Barry himself. If you are looking for an amusing read, I recommend this one or any other books written by Dave Barry. I promise you will, at the very least, end up with a smile.

[Lwasmuth]

I rarely abandon a book. My grandmother, an English teacher and voracious and lover of reading always said - "never abandon a book, you never know how it will turn out. And if it never gets more interesting you will have learned something either about writing or yourself." She was right. I typically enjoy the writings of Dave Barry but unfortunately this one doesn't hold up over time. Too dated to appreciate the humor and perspective of the time. My opinion is highly affected by the current social climate steeped in the pandemic and election year, so if you'd like to take a walk down memory lane, like Barry, and have a more forgiving attitude then this book may be for you.

[Rick · Rating 5 out of 5]

I enjoyed this book like I do all the Dave Barry books. This one for me was not quite as funny as some of the others but his observational sarcasm was still on great display throughout the book. The book is a little bit dated because of the observations about elections and other world events. Fortunately, I lived through those events and understood the comments.
We need more authors and reporters like Dave now more than ever -- people that can observe much of the absurdity of the present world and make everyone lighten up and see the humor in life!

[Diana · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book came to me at the right time in my life. No one like Dave Barry to remind us that politics is what it's been for a long time, parenting is ridiculous no matter when it occurs, North Dakota is just great for the humor-writer-turned-travel-writer, and some things aren't funny at all but worth writing about, too.

Thanks, Dave. It was a pleasure.

[Drtaxsacto · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a series of Barry columns about politics around the time of Clinton, Bush and Gore and then some things about the Utah Winter Olympics - and many of those columns are quite funny but what made the book for me was two columns he did on 9/11 - one on the day after the attack and then one on the memorial for Flight 93 - both are compelling reading. Worth the entire price of the book!

[Bradford D · Rating 2 out of 5]

This is a collection of his newspaper columns from 2000 to 2003. Most are funny but a bit dated (Remember hanging chads?). His last two are on the 9/11 events and really change the tone of the book, not in a good way. Remember… "Dave Barry" can be rearranged to spell "Brave Yard".

[Ellen the Herbivore · Rating 3 out of 5]

Not up to his usual high standard, though I enjoyed reading about his trip to Grand Forks, ND, where they named a sewage lift system after him. Wish he wouldn’t have closed with two essays about 9/11 that were just standard patriotic mush.

[Kristal Stidham · Rating 4 out of 5]

I love Dave Barry's particular brand of humor, but this book stands out for several serious columns he wrote after 9/11.

[Tara · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very funny, but left really impressed with the "serious" writing at the end.

[Kevin · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a collection from his humour column. This is the height of 80's humour. I love this guy and this is one of the better collections.

[Sharon Falduto]

Dave Barry, recent vintage.

[Tim Kretschmann · Rating 4 out of 5]

Pretty standard Dave Barry fare. If you like his humor, you will like this book. If not, why are you even reading this?

[Josh · Rating 4 out of 5]

Dave Barry makes us laugh. That's a gift. Not his absolute best, but some good essays in here.

[Robert · Rating 3 out of 5]

Dave’s humor never disappoints. But his last 2 essays on 9/11 proves there is more to his talent than meets the eye.

[Steve · Rating 3 out of 5]

Fun. Only possible drawback is that the political jokes (Clinton, etc) are probably too obscure now.

[Steven Kolbe · Rating 5 out of 5]

Is it really summer if I haven't read something by Dave Barry? While not the most timely (these come from 2000-2002), they are just as hilarious.

[Dorothy Timm · Rating 4 out of 5]

There were times when this book was laugh-out-loud funny. Wouldn't mind reading another of his books sometime.

[Dale · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very, very, very good.

Boogers Are My Beat: More Lies, But Some Actual Journalism is a collection of Dave Barry's columns from the summer of 2000 through September of 2002. They are read expertly by veteran narrator Dick Hill. I usually hear Hill reading crime novels and the like but I was pleased to hear that he has expert comic timing and turns out to be a perfect narrator for Barry's offbeat sense of humor.

Topics include:

*The 2000 Democrat and Republican political conventions;
*The 2002 Salt Lake Winter Games;
*The Census;
*Camping in a Wal-Mart parking lot;
*and the silly tips in Cosmo magazine on how women can drive men wild.

Dave ends with two long essays about 9/11. One was published on 9/12 and does a great job of summing up the raw feelings and shock of the time. The second essay is much longer - by far the longest of the book. It was published on the one year anniversary of 9/11. It is simply brilliant. It incorporates the Gettysburg Address, an interview with the coroner in charge of the Shanksville plane crash scene and details Barry noted during a visit to both Gettysburg and Shanksville.

http://dwdsreviews.blogspot.com/

[Ariadna73 · Rating 4 out of 5]

Here is my review in my Spanish Blog: http://bit.ly/OO5X0S
Journalist Dave Barry discusses matters just as the winter Olympics the cold weather at the cities of Dakota; and the way Florida people use euphemisms to make cockroaches look cool; just by re baptizing them Palm Bugs. I laughed a lot with this book; but also cried a little because the author decided to close it by including to very serious and heartbreaking columns about his impressions on 9/11. He described how Gettysburg has been converted into a cemetery because the plane was technically never found; and he tried to imagine the horrible last moments lived by those passengers of flight 93. I think that it is not an appropriate way of ending a humorous book; but he decided otherwise; probably because he wanted to show that he could be serious too. Anyway; excluding those two last columns; the book is really funny; and I enjoyed it a lot. However; those two last columns render the whole book totally useless for airplane reading; so I would rather read it on the train ;-)

[Jaret · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is an awesome collection of Dave Barry's articles from the Miami Herald. He begins his collection with a great laugh at American politics especially the Presidential Election of 2000. He then moves on to articles he wrote about life and his family. I particularly enjoyed the articles about the band he plays in with other authors including Amy Tan and Stephen King. (Poor Amy Tan's husband during "Leader of the Pack") He finishes the collection off on a serious tone. He wrote two articles about September 11th that are very heartfelt. A touching way to end this collection of humorous articles. I listened to the audio version of this book. The narrator read the collection so perfectly, I thought it was narrated by Dave Barry himself. The pauses for humor were at just the right time. It turns out that the narrator was Dick Hill. Well chosen, publishing company, well chosen.

[Andrew · Rating 4 out of 5]

“Boogers Are My Beat” is a collection of columns by Dave Barry. Barry has always had a way of describing the human experience in such a way to make us grin and point out the foibles of the powerful in a polite way. HOWEVER, I found that while I want more and more Barry after reading a Sunday column, 5 CDs worth of columns required a break and a change of pace so I could complete it.

The end of the book takes two separate looks at 9/11 – and shows quite effectively that Barry can be serious when he needs to be without any loss of his talent at describing the human condition.

Narrator Dick Hill has a talent for reading funny material without going over the top, and was a good choice to read the book on CD.

RATING: 4 stars.

[molly · Rating 3 out of 5]

It's been a long time since I read a Dave Barry book. I read a bunch in the early 90s (note to self: add those books here when you get a chance) when I was an adolescent. I thought he was hilarious. I still think he's hilarious but maybe not quite as hilarious as I remember from when I was a kid. This collection is a bit dated, the columns on the 2000 election and the conventions were likely funnier at the time. But I love the columns on random stuff that baffles him (and the rest of us, too). I laughed out loud a number of times. It's Dave Barry, he's a funny guy, what more do you want from this review.

[Justin Offermann · Rating 4 out of 5]

Dave Barry is one of the few authors who can consistently make me laugh out loud, even when I'd rather not (as when I'm reading in a public place-the looks some people give you when you laugh out loud while reading a book, it's as if the very idea of the written word being that funny is inconceivable). As a political junkie, I especially enjoyed the columns concerning the 2000 elections, but there wasn't a bad one in the bunch. To echo what others have said, I found the final column in the collection, a serious essay written just after the 9/11 terrorist attacks, to be incredibly poignant.

[EK G · Rating 3 out of 5]

You can make money being a) facetious b) funny and dish it out in small doses.

Apropos to what is going on in the US right now, the book does end on a sombre note -- first, Barry's emotional reaction to 9/11, and later, a reflection on what happened later. In a way, a reiteration of the complex American experience in its journey on the war on terror, and surprisingly, a breath of fresh air after the light hearted spin on things.