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Paperback
First published March 14, 2011


"You know, long time ago, I looked it up," She told him.
"What?" Colt asked.
"Your name," she told him, her voice soft, her eyes on his unwavering and he held his breath, knowing what was coming was going to strike deep and he wasn't wrong.
"Alexander," she said, "means warrior, defender. Colton, colt," she smiled, "well, we all know a colt's got so much energy, always beautiful little things, strong, fast, all of 'em gonna grow up to be something magnificent."
Her jaw tilts for Alec:
I used to do it because it made him smile at me, a smile I hadn't seen in years, a smile that others saw and it was handsome so I was sure they liked it, at least the girls. But they didn't get it. They didn't understand, it not being directed at them, what that smile could do. The power of it. it was like every time he smiled he'd opened a chest of treasure and said. "All this is yours."
"You got in, Colt," I said and watched, super close, as his eyes opened and his hands tightened on my neck, no squeeze this time, they stayed tight and I couldn't feel the pad of every finger pressing into my skin. "Few days ago, you got in. I didn't let you in, you just got in." finally I lifted my hands to his chest and bunched his shirt in my fingers. "I wanna lock you there," I whispered scared to death but sharing it all, hiding nothing, giving him everything, fighting the hitch in my voice that my tears were threatening. "Lock you up tight inside me, babe, and never let you out."
He had no idea why God decided to place him, at birth, in hell only to lead him to salvation in kindergarten. Though he suspected if he hadn't experienced hell, he wouldn't have understood salvation.
"Sometimes, it's rare, but sometimes... men learn,"
"Couple things came up."
"I gave your table away, Colt, an hour ago."
"Got another one?"
"Colt-"
Stavros heard Colt cut in. "SPOILER!!!" Stavros sucked in breath at this long awaited, very welcome, unbelievably happy news and Colt finished. "Now, you got a table of what?"
Stavros grinned into the phone. "Don't got one, I'll build one."


“There’s no words to explain how big it was, what Colt and I had, or how much it hurts when something that big in your life is swept away, or how empty that place is that he once filled, or how impossible it is to find something to fill it.”
“Like it right now or not, Feb, couple of days ago, you gave yourself back to me. You think I’m lettin’ that go, think again because, baby, your fucking wrong.”
“I remember everything about you and I remember all the reasons why I loved you. Never could forget even when I tried... Who knows, baby? We had all that time together, I coulda got used to it, leaned to take it for granted. Now, that’ll never happen.”












“Since I was three, there’s never been a day when I wasn’t in love with you.”








