Winning with People: Discover the People Principles that Work for You Every Time

by John C. Maxwell

Relationships are at the heart of every positive human experience. Maxwell, a master communicator and relational expert, makes learning about relationships accessible to everyone. The most sophisticated leaders and salespeople will pick up on skills that will make them even better, and relational novices will learn skills that can transform them into relational dynamos.

Genres: Leadership, Business, Self Help, Nonfiction, Personal Development, Relationships, Management

272 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2005

About the author

John Calvin Maxwell is an American author, speaker, and pastor who has written many books, primarily focusing on leadership. Titles include The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership and The 21 Indispensable Qualities of a Leader. Some of his books have been on the New York Times Best Seller List.

Reviews

[Melanie · Rating 2 out of 5]

Great book if you are a married American male with kids.
“A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend; a successful woman is one who can find such a man.” This quote comes from the section of the book in which the author demonstrates that men and women are different.

My manager recommended this book to me so I diligently read it. Examples are either based on American baseball facts, American history, husband / father situations. Through the book, there is only a handful of examples portraying women: female students in need of a man to be their better self, a famous actress living a life of addiction and sadness. The mention of the female Filipino president is about how she appreciates the author and his mentorship. The only portrayed female who is successful on her own and doesn’t serve a purpose in connection with the author is a high school teacher. Probably the only roles female are authorized to succeed in on their own in our society?
Surely the topics covered are interesting but I wished my male manager had heard of a more relatable source of inspiration for me.

[JD' · Rating 1 out of 5]

I like John Maxwell, but if your going to read a book on winning people, read dale Carnegies How To Win Friends And Influence People. If you already read the book and are tempted to read Maxwells book next... don't. Instead reread Dale Carnegie.

[Ricky Mikeabono · Rating 2 out of 5]

I wasn't surprised when the author revealed that he is a devout Christian - the takeaway from this short book is that if you will win with people if you are a good, honest, and generous person. That's a better message than the list of psychological tricks I anticipated, but I can't say I really learned anything new. The non-stop anecdotes felt a bit formulaic, and some didn't make sense to me: A man slipped another (less fortunate) dad $20 to help buy circus tickets. So we should give others money in order to "Win" with them and make them like us? Not sure.

[أخضر أخضر]

يتساءل العديد من البشر عن طريق الفوز مع الناس والتعامل معهم، وهل هي مهارة مكتسبة أم فطرة يمتاز بها بعض الأشخاص دونًا عن غيرهم، ولذا قام المؤلف في كتابه الفوز مع الناس بشرح مبادئ الفوز مع الناس، وكيف تجعل أي موقف ينقلب لصالحك، معتمدًا على عدة خطوات لمساعدة الجميع، وهذه الخطوات هي:
1- الاستعداد لبناء العلاقات، والتركيز على الآخرين.
2- بناء الثقة المتبادلة.
3- الاستثمار في الآخرين.
ومن ثمَّ ستنال ما ترغب به، وهو الفوز مع الناس.

كتاب سهل بسيط مفيد جدًا خاصة للانطوائيين، ومن يعانون من مشاكل في التعامل مع الآخرين، فلقد خلقنا على الكوكب لنعيش ونندمج سويًا، ومن واجبنا القراءة والتعرف على كيفية تحقيق ذلك بنجاح، وامتاز الكتاب بسهولة أسلوبه واحتوائه على الكثير من الامثلة التي تخدم غرض الكتاب.

[Scott · Rating 5 out of 5]

Former pastor turned leadership guru, John C. Maxwell is known for his insight and experience when it comes to the business industry. What I find helpful is Maxwell’s teachings are applicable to other environments such as church, small groups, and relationships. His 2004 release Winning With People specifically deals with relationships. Quite frequently the mindset of the business world is “What can I do to get ahead?” or “How can I succeed?” Maxwell challenges the reader to think outside of the box and change his or her thoughts to “How can I help others succeed?” (Read my entire review at: http://scottcouey.com/2012/05/21/maxw...)

[Nick · Rating 4 out of 5]

There was a lot of good wisdom in this book. There were also many examples and memorable illustrations. I find John Maxwell's books easy to remember. He puts his lessons in easy to process ways. Some people don't like that, but I think it's helpful.

[David Brown · Rating 5 out of 5]

I feel like this book will be nearly invaluable if I am actually able to put the principles into practices. When coupled with How to Win Friends and Influence People, I feel like the 2 are a perfect foundation for developing people skills.

[Mohamed Elsayed · Rating 4 out of 5]

* الشمعة لا تخسر عندما تضيء شمعة أخرى
( توماس جيفرسون )
.من اجمل الحكم التى استعان بها ماكسويل فى كتابه

[Ross Heinricy · Rating 4 out of 5]

The sage wisdom of J Max is found in every page of this book, and every person from all walks of life will benefit from the plethora of relational truths contained in these pages. I will be refencing and rereading this book for the rest of my life. This would be a great resource for every position of leadership from supervisor to CEO to implement both for him or her self both personally or corporately.

[Yanes Brayan · Rating 3 out of 5]

Muy buen libro, aún que a mi parecer es muy parecido al libro de Dale Carnegie, tiene mucho conceptos de el, pero refuerza mucho una vez leído el libro de Dale, creo que es muy bueno y refuerza más tu conocimiento de como influir en las personas y como ganartelas.

[Mckinley · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very gentle approach to friendly, kind ways to interact with others. Discusses 5 central concerns: readiness, connection, trust, investment and synergy. Lots of examples and questions bring points home.

Readiness - who we are determines how we see others, know yourself first, hurting people hurt people, never hammer someone, we can lift up or take people down

Connection - entire world, except 1, is composed of others; put ourselves in our place not others; each person has potential to teach us something; people are interested in others who are interested in them; believing the best of others usually brings out the best of people; caring precedes confronting others

Trust - foundation of any relationship; never let situation mean more than relationship; when bob has a problem with everyone, bob is usually the problem; being at ease with self helps other be at ease with us; when preparing for battle, dig a hole big enough for a friend

Investment - all relationships need cultivation; find 1% we agree on and focus 100% on it; journey with others is slower than journey alone; celebrate success of friends; take higher road when interacting with others

Synergy - when we help others, we help ourselves; people work well with others they like; working together increases odds of winning together; joy of being together as bottomline

[David · Rating 2 out of 5]

My second and last John C. Maxwell book. Having recently read his “Laws of Teamwork”, I’m having an allergic reaction to his overt and prominent sense of self-importance. No chapter, section, or subsection is complete without a reference to his own churchy organization and/or his own life experience. Also, his life experience includes 26 years as a pastor, and I think this experience shows itself in the relentlessly anecdotal and platitudinous nature of the writing.

I did find some good opportunities for self-reflection here, but generally felt like the author was verbosely repeating commonsense truths about relationships and talking a lot about himself and his relationships. I felt like I got almost as much value out of the two-page listing of bullet points at the end than I did from the hundreds of homiletic anecdotes, which obviously are loved by many but which grated on my nerves after a while. Clearly, I am not prepared for a relationship with this author.

[Paula · Rating 3 out of 5]

I've read other books by Maxwell. There was a man in my church who suggested I read a book by John Maxwell. I trusted his opinion so I did. Then I decide to read another. I read another and when this 'unofficial spiritual mentor' of mine asked me what I thought, I was afraid to say anything. Turns out he even believed "if you've read one John Maxwell book, you've pretty much read them all." Epigraphs in the little book on teamwork include quotes by himself. (that was a turn-off) Other books, I can't even remember the titles unless I look them up by author name.

I know he's popular and is considered a leadership guru. He does offer a great deal of sound advice from years of experience as a pastor and leader. He mentions having been mentored himself. I believe he is a man integrity. He's even funny at times. However, I won't spend more time reading another leadership book by him.

[Miguel Cisneros Saucedo · Rating 2 out of 5]

Poor.
I couldn’t finish it. I thought I had bought a book from Maxwell, not a compilation of quotes from other authors.

[iänỳ · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great book! I learned quite a deal from it. He touches on some important and useful life lessons in terms of relationships and daily interactions. Read it if you don't easily take to people (generally speaking) or often find yourself in negative dysfunctional relationships. And read it even if neither one of those applies.

[Nicholas Bradley · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read this book with a group of people and we had a good time discussing the various chapters and pinpointing where we were strong and where we were weak. Maxwell always uses great analogies and stories and his books are always filled with good lessons you can use later. This book is no exception.

[Cynthia O'Donnell · Rating 5 out of 5]

You just can't go wrong with any of John Maxwell's books. If you deal directly with people, then this book is for you. This book helps you identify ways to strengthen your relationships with people and helps you grow your interpersonal skills. A must for all sales people.

[Nora.J · Rating 2 out of 5]

Good book if you’re a married, American, white male. This book would probably be helpful for some people, I learned a bit from it. Just wait until you’re married and have kids, then I’m sure you’ll enjoy it way more than I did.

[Hayes · Rating 3 out of 5]

This one probably serves it’s purpose better as a reminder of common sense rather than a revelation in people management and relationships.

[Vedad Suljic · Rating 3 out of 5]

It tells you everything you already know but are often not aware.

[Jarmo Larsen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Dette må jeg si var en berikende bok om relasjoner. Jeg husker at jeg fikk den i bursdagsgave for over 15 år siden av en god venn, men det var først nå jeg fikk lest den. Jeg kan angre på at jeg ikke leste den tidligere, men jeg angrer ikke på at jeg nå endelig har gjort det. Kanskje kunne jeg spart meg for noen relasjonelle problemer og usikkerheter dersom jeg hadde lest den før.

John C. Maxwell gjør en god og oversiktlig jobb med å presentere de 25 universelle prinsippene for relasjonsbygging, som er avgjørende for at relasjoner skal fungere optimalt. De fleste kapitlene og prinsippene er engasjerende og givende, og kan tilføre noe positivt i enhver relasjon man er involvert i. Boken gir gode illustrasjoner i form av historier fra virkeligheten – enten fra Maxwells eget liv eller fra andre mennesker av betydning.

Som kristen skriver Maxwell på en inkluderende og god måte, slik at også en ikke-troende leser kan ha stort utbytte av boken. Selv om han refererer til Salomos ordspråk og enkelte skikkelser fra nyere kirkehistorie, som William Booth og D.L. Moody, blir det aldri påtrengende. I tillegg har han mange års erfaring som pastor i store menigheter, og han skriver med troverdighet og innsikt. Han er åpen og ærlig om sine feiltrinn i livet, men stopper ikke der – han trekker alltid fram hva han lærte av dem.

Opplever du at relasjonene dine ikke fungerer slik de burde, er dette en bok du bør lese. Den gir konkrete og lettfattelige tips. Maxwell skriver på en lett og engasjerende måte, som ikke krever høy intellektuell innsats – bare et ønske om å få relasjonene i livet til å fungere bedre.

[Angela Koon · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have mixed feelings for this book. It is likeable, insightful but I don't think I am ready to do everything it said.
Basically it is divided into five sections, from the readiness question such as the right attitude to treat people, mirror principle on self reflection, discussion on the worst manners and the ramifications.
Then moved on to connection with others, how much are we willing to focus on people and the right way to do it. The next was trusting people, willing to invest and give in and last, creating a win-win relationship that lasts for a life time.
The concept is lovely, but not rational in a sense or at least not in my capacity. However, it did offer a lot of insights on marriage, like the Situation Principle said, you should never let the situation mean more than the relationship. Look at the big picture, understand that we all have different opinions and standpoints but don't let it override your relationship with your spouse. Show your unconditional love during difficult situations, you don't have to win an agreement.
I also enjoy the discussion questions at the end of each principle, it gives you ideas to think, question and relate the principle into your reality. The book has only 260 pages but it does need a lot of time to process if you truly want to master the essence. I am still a long way to the High Road but I am lucky enough to have more than one win-win relationships, perhaps sometime in the future I shall re-read this book and have a new thought about it.

[Spencer Avalos · Rating 5 out of 5]

John C. Maxwell's Winning with People or in Spanish (Como Ganarse a la Gente) is an extraordinary book of self-growth, that impacted me so much in my life, I first read it when I was a kid. Struggling at that time with building better relationships, and this book gave me awesome tools to improve my confidence, kindness, and respect for others. Maxwell explains great principles such as perspective, exchange, charisma, and confrontation, and each one gets more detailed examples and powerful teaching.
One of my favorite phrases from this book is: "En vez de poner a otros en nuestro lugar, debemos ponernos nosotros en el lugar de ellos"(Insted of putting others in our place, we must put ourselves in theirs). This principal is very empathy, and help me to have personal growth and understanding of others. Another concept that I like it (The principle of Pain): “Hurt people hurt others easily”. Reflecting on this give me compassion for those who unintentionally cause harm to others.
This book is structured by key factors willingness, connection, trust, investment and synergy. All of this factors provide valuable information and guidance for improving relationships in business, family, friends, and for everyday of your life. I really recommend this book to anyone who is looking for personal growth, or better connections with others.

[Frieda · Rating 4 out of 5]

The author outlines several principles that are important if one wishes to establish and maintain positive relationships with people whether in the workplace or life. While may appear to be common sense, I have found in my own experience just how much some people lack self-awareness and empathy towards others. This book could be quite helpful for those that need help in the "people department".

Key Takeaways
-Self-awareness is important - the way people see others is a reflection of themselves.
-Each person we meet has the potential to teach us something.
-You cannot have growth without change.
-Being at ease with yourself makes others feel at ease with you.
-Caring for people should precede confronting people - validate people's feelings.
-When connection is difficult, you must find one thing that you two have in common or agree upon.
-In great relationships, the joy of being together is enough.

[Fabricio Fernandez · Rating 3 out of 5]

Primera vez que escucho un audio libro tan largo. Me di cuenta que para este tipo de textos, es una buena manera de aprovechar el tiempo.

Este libro en cuestión ofrece buenos aspectos a considerar en nuestra relación con lxs demás, apuntando a enriquecer los vínculos tanto afectivos como laborales y trabajar en nuestros aspectos personales. Está dividido en partes claramente diferenciadas, bien separadas una de otra, para que unx pueda volver a un punto específico del audio si así lo desea.

No es que sea muy original; la mayoría de los aspectos que desarrolla son los mismos que están abordados en las obras de este género. Pero nunca está de más volver a reflexionar sobre ellos puesto que a menudo se nos olvidan o los damos por hecho. Entonces es útil este libro para ayudar a replantearse la forma en que unx se presenta ante el resto de la gente, cómo actúa y cuáles son los mejores caminos para establecer relaciones productivas y sanas.

[Libromagno.com · Rating 5 out of 5]

Entretenido, lleno de historias y ejemplos históricos y personales, es una obra que si lees con detenimiento y con frecuencia transformará tus relaciones.

Todos estamos llamados a tener relaciones, pues somos seres sociales, somos seres que necesitamos de otros, y sin importar si somos más introvertidos (como yo por ejemplo), o sumamente extrovertidos, debemos aprender como ganar en las relaciones.

Pero ganar no es ganar para mí, es ganar para el otro, es ganar para generar impacto, es ganar para disfrutar, es ganar para ir al siguiente nivel. Por eso este libro es tan importante, pues te permite ver las relaciones con la motivación adecuada.

Desde el primer principio hasta el último, este libro revoluciona tu mente de una forma especial. Obra extraordinaria, así de sencillo.

Mira más detalles de nuestra opinión en https://bit.ly/36dwqAT

[T. Laane · Rating 4 out of 5]

Typical Maxwell :) All advice is good and sound, but not much new to take away. I did like a new phrase though, that I haven’t heard others using: “Emotional fitness”. FITNESS! It is never enough to reach a high emotional/mental level, but you have to keep on practicing it, exercising. If not, You will slide back and get emotionally/mentally “Fat” again. Let’s keep ourselves fit, people! :) Oh, and another thing - adding to others peoples lives can not be done by accident. We can damage relationships by accident easily, but adding is deliberate practice with the specific aim. You can not build a nice sand-castle by accident. But you sure can destroy one by accident. So if You don’t know if you add to other peoples lives, then you probably aren’t doing it! It’s a deliberate effort. Get at it!

[Nourhan · Rating 3 out of 5]

الكتاب يساعد على توضيح المباديء الهامة للتعامل مع الآخرين. المؤلف استخدم طريقة "الحكاية" حيث يحكي طوال الكتاب أحداث و مواقف حدثت له و للآخرين ليوضح كل مبدأ. و فيما يتعلق بكتب التنمية البشرية لا أفضل تلك الطريقة (و خاصة في كتاب ٣٠٠ صفحة) و أفضل الكتب القائمة على نتائج ابحاث و تدريبات تطبيقية. لا أنكر أن الكتاب أفادني و لكنه يحتاج التعامل بسياسة النّفس الطويل

مقتطفات من الكتاب

فن الحوار الحقيقي ليس فقط أن تقول الشيء المناسب في المكان المناسب، و لكن أيضاً ألا تقول الشيء الغير مناسب في اللحظة التي تشعر فيها بإغراء قوله

إن ما يراه الناس يتأثر بشخصياتهم، فإذا تواجد بعض الناس في غرفة واحدة و كانوا ينظرون لنفس الاشياء، فإنهم سيرونها بطريقة مختلفة تماماً. فكل واحد منا له ميوله الخاصة، و تلك الميول تصبغ رؤيتنا لكل شيء

عندما تتفاعل مع الآخرين تذكر هذا: في أي وقت تكون فيه استجا��ة الشخص أكبر من القضية التى يتم تناولها، فدائماً ما ستكون تلك الاستجابة مرتبطة بسبب آخر

إن أي شخص يتزوج متوقعاً الحفاظ على نفس مستوى الحرية الذي كان يتمتع به و هو أعزب، سيعرض زواجه للخطر حتماً

إن الناس غالباً ما يستجيبون لطريقتنا و أسلوبنا أكثر من كلماتنا، في المرة المقبلة التي يوجه لك احدهم الحديث بغضب، استجب برفق و لين

[Ahmed M. Abdallah · Rating 5 out of 5]

كتاب ملهم ومفيد بشكل استثنائي!

اقتباسات اعجبتني

"إن رقم واحد رقم أصغر كثيرا من ان يتمكن من تحقيق العظمة بمفرده"
"بواسطة الكلمة الطيبة والسلطة يمكنك تحقيق أكثر مما ستحققه بالكلمة الطيبة وحدها"
"عندما يصبح التلاميذ مستعدين، سوف يظهر المعلم"
"العلاقات تساعدنا على معرفة من نحن وما الذي نتحول إليه"
"العظماء حقا يجعلونك تشعر بأنك يمكن ان تصبح عظيما"
"يمكن لأي شخص أن يتعاطف مع معاناة صديق، ولكن التعاطف مع نجاحات صديق أمر يتطلب طبيعة مرهفة حساسة للغاية"
"لا أحد يصبح ثريًا إلا إذا أثرى الاخرين"
"تسلل إلي قلوب الناس"
"ليس الهدف من الحياة هو الفوز، الهدف في الحياة هو أن تنمو وتشارك "
"الشمعة لا تخسر شيئًا عندما تضيء شمعة أخرى"
"عندما يحبك شخص ما بدون شروط وبدون مصلحة شخصية، يكون هذا هو الشيء الأكثر روعة على الإطلاق"

[Isabella · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really loved this book. The references about the man and woman jokes are just that - clear jokes. Also, signs about how sometimes our society looks at marriage, and he goes into a long chapter about how to better respect your own marriage.

I am not a "white, married, Christian, man", as some negative reviewers insisted I would have to be to enjoy this book.

Great, easy, read. I think some people get frustrated that so much of life boils down to treat others well and do well by others.