Exit Laughing: How Humor Takes the Sting Out of Death

by Victoria Zackheim (Editor)

There’s nothing funny about dying … or is there? Malachy McCourt, Jacquelyn Mitchard, and 22 more share hilarious and moving stories of confronting death. Exit Laughing makes death more approachable as it reveals the funny side of “passing on.” As painful as it is to lose a loved one, Exit Laughing  shows us that in times of grief, humor can help us with coping and even healing. 
 
Best-selling author Amy Ferris explains how her mother’s dementia led to a permanent ban from an airline. Ellen Sussman writes of flying her mother's body home and watching the burial wardrobe spill out on the baggage carousel. Broadway and television actor Richard McKenzie shares the riotous story of a funeral procession led by a lost hearse. Bonnie Garvin even manages to find a heavy dose of dark humor in her parents’ three unsuccessful attempts at a double suicide. These stories, along with tales from Joshua Braff, Barbara Graham, Dianne Rinehart, and more, constitute a book whose purpose is to remind readers that when dealing with illness, aging, and dying, there is an important place for laugh-out-loud humor.

Genres: Nonfiction, Death, Humor, Psychology, Grief

304 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2012

About the author

Victoria Zackheim is the author of the novel, The Bone Weaver, and editor of six anthologies, the most recent being FAITH: Essays From Believers, Agnostics, and Atheists. Her screenplay, Maidstone, a feature film, is in development, as are her theater plays The Other Woman and Entangled. Victoria also writes documentary films and teaches creative nonfiction (Personal Essay) in the UCLA Extension Writers’ Program. She is a 2010 San Francisco Library Laureate.

Reviews

[Carol · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’d love to be able to thank the person who recommended Victoria Zacheim’s Exit Laughing: how Humor Take the Sting Out of Death but I can’t remember where I heard about this. I have read several books on death and dying in recent years and I think this was a recommendation from one of those authors. I read this slowly, a story or two at a time, over several months, savoring each and giving them time for contemplation.

The collection consists of twenty-four personal stories and shares the experiences of each contributor when faced with the death of a loved one, one who they should love or even their own mortality. Each essay will resonate with each reader in its own way. You may not see the humor in all of these but I think most will touch you in some way with their distinct voices. They allowed me to explore my feelings about the loss of family and friends and to affirm that there can be laughter as well as tears in the grieving process. I recognized some authors; others were new and sent me seeking more writing by these individuals. To highlight just one I couldn’t help but sob with laughter while reading Kitty…Mimi by Karen Quinn, a mixed up mess of mistaken perceptions so beautifully executed.

[Doreen · Rating 4 out of 5]

The stories are all about death, but most have quirky, humorous anecdotes. For a subject as serious, melancholy, and sometimes gruesome, as death can be, there is certainly plenty of humor within these pages. This book proves that laughter is appropriate, even under the saddest and most final of circumstances. Thank you to Carol for recommending this book AND for giving me her copy to read! I will pass it on.

[Vikki · Rating 5 out of 5]

It just seems wrong to enjoy a book about death as much as I enjoyed Exit Laughing edited by Victoria Zackheim. The authors wrote true short stories about the death of someone meaningful in their life. All of the authors were authors I knew or authors I will want to know. There were short bios at the end of the book which aided in this-many of these authors I am going to want to look up and read further. I admired all of the contributors for sharing often private, intimate moments. The subtitle of the book is "How humor takes the sting out of death." Humor was a huge part of most of the stories. Humor really does take the sting out of death. I really did enjoy this book and will probably be reading it again someday.

[Donna Blinston · Rating 4 out of 5]

Victora Zackheim shares true stories from some of our country’s finest authors, including Malachy McCourt, Jacquelyn Mitchard, Barbara Graham, Ellen Sussman, and so many others. Exit Laughing makes death more approachable as it reveals the funny side of “passing on.” As painful as it is to lose a loved one, Exit Laughing shows us that in times of grief, humour can help us with coping and even healing. Exit Laughing is beautifully written, giving the reader permission to laugh and allowing them to acknowledge their feelings. The book also provides healthcare professionals with more insights and flexibility to support these patients and their families in their difficult times.

[Jennifer Simpson · Rating 4 out of 5]

I picked this book up looking for essays to use in a class I was teaching on Writing Grief. I found several essays that I enjoyed in this book that I was able to use, and one I could not use, but that is because each time I read an excerpt to someone, or even recounted the story, I laughed so hard that tears streamed down my face. In fact, I don't even know if I can type "Kitty...Mimi" without laughing. Not all of the essays were gut-achingly funny,some only offered a chuckle or two, but overall this is an excellent collection.

[Mary Stanik · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wonderful collection of stories by mostly famous writers. The tales told by Jacquelyn Mitchard (a visit to a state mental institution following the death of her young husband), Barbara Abercrombie (unexpected love for an unexpected near stepfather) and Dianne Rinehart (a father's unexpected death after finally finding love and happiness after years of abuse from her unhappy mother) make the book. Recommended for all, whether you've lost someone close to you (yet) or not.

[Dufus · Rating 4 out of 5]

An empathetic mirror in which to reflect the grief, sadness and anger associated with death.

[Nancy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Have you ever found yourself laughing before, during or after a funeral? This is black humor, which helps us endure in despairing times. Enjoy these 24 short stories of humor in the midst of grief!

[Eb0 · Rating 3 out of 5]

Like so many anthologies, a mixed bag. The occasional genuinely funny vignette is overwhelmed by a surfeit of sentimental but not hilarious memoirs of late-middle-age Jewish women coming to terms with fraught relationships during their mothers' final illnesses.

I particularly enjoyed the anecdotes about the deaths of Cleavon Little and Jessica Mitford; but I did not close the book having learned anything new about death or humor, much less the long-denied but clearly extant intersection between the two.

[Sep · Rating 5 out of 5]

These essays read like a novel. I found them especially helpful as I have buried both of my parents and it was interesting to see how others handled the situation. Most of the essays left me a little teary but two or three had me laughing out loud. (I live alone and to quote my mom, "What would the neighbors say?")

[Carla · Rating 3 out of 5]

My family & I are big advocates of using humor to cope. I find it especially interesting that I won a copy of this book in a Goodreads Giveaway right after my dad died. I recommend this book be read a few stories at a time, rather than sit down and read all at once, as I found some of the stories & personalities started to run together in my mind if I read too many in a row. If I were to rate the stories individually, they would run the whole scale from 1 - 5 stars, as some of them I had to skim to make it through, while others I devoured.

[Eve · Rating 3 out of 5]

I think the topic is an excellent one, but I didn't really find it funny as some supposedly did. There were moments of irony and absurdity (of sorts), but not the "laugh out loud" experience I was expecting. The selections - some excellent, some so-so, which of course, is often the case with anthologies. Having spent time with my mother when she was dying, I can say that the things that were recounted were very real - and for that I give it three stars.

[Greta Macionytė · Rating 3 out of 5]

http://www.jauti.lt/tarp-lentynu-1/
Yra toks posakis „Laugh is the best medicine“. V. Zackheim sudaryta istorijų rinktinė siūlo į artimųjų netektį pažvelgti su trupučiu humoro. Šmaikštūs įvairių autorių pasakojimai apie jų netektis parodo, kad linksmas požiūris gelbsti bandant susitaikyti su artimųjų mirtimi. Turbūt dėlto dažnai kažko netekus visi bando dalintis smagiais prisiminimais. Knygą rekomenduočiau dėl pačios idėjos ir skleidžiamo požiūrio į mirtį.

[Laura Siegel · Rating 4 out of 5]

It seems strange to say there can be humor in death but I've found this true myself (more after the fact.) These authors tell such personal, poignant, and yes funny accounts. At first I jotted down names of the authors whose stories I really loved, but before long I realized that was most of them. I was particularly delighted see Starhawk included in this wonderful collection.

[beentsy · Rating 3 out of 5]

I'm not sure what I was expecting here but I can say I don't think I found it. Perhaps this just wasn't the right time to read a book of this nature. Awww, well.