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Homesick and Happy: How Time Away from Parents Can Help a Child Grow
An insightful and powerful look at the magic of summer camp—and why it is so important for children to be away from home . . . if only for a little while.
In an age when it’s the rare child who walks to school on his own, the thought of sending your “little ones” off to sleep-away camp can be overwhelming—for you and for them. But parents’ first instinct—to shelter their offspring above all else—is actually depriving kids of the major developmental milestones that occur through letting them go—and watching them come back transformed.
In Homesick and Happy, renowned child psychologist Michael Thompson, PhD, shares a strong argument for, and a vital guide to, this brief loosening of ties. A great champion of summer camp, he explains how camp ushers your children into a thrilling world offering an environment that most of us at home cannot: an electronics-free zone, a multigenerational community, meaningful daily rituals like group meals and cabin clean-up, and a place where time simply slows down. In the buggy woods, icy swims, campfire sing-alongs, and daring adventures, children have emotionally significant and character-building experiences; they often grow in ways that surprise even themselves; they make lifelong memories and cherished friends. Thompson shows how children who are away from their parents can be both homesick and happy, scared and successful, anxious and exuberant. When kids go to camp—for a week, a month, or the whole summer—they can experience some of the greatest maturation of their lives, and return more independent, strong, and healthy.
In an age when it’s the rare child who walks to school on his own, the thought of sending your “little ones” off to sleep-away camp can be overwhelming—for you and for them. But parents’ first instinct—to shelter their offspring above all else—is actually depriving kids of the major developmental milestones that occur through letting them go—and watching them come back transformed.
In Homesick and Happy, renowned child psychologist Michael Thompson, PhD, shares a strong argument for, and a vital guide to, this brief loosening of ties. A great champion of summer camp, he explains how camp ushers your children into a thrilling world offering an environment that most of us at home cannot: an electronics-free zone, a multigenerational community, meaningful daily rituals like group meals and cabin clean-up, and a place where time simply slows down. In the buggy woods, icy swims, campfire sing-alongs, and daring adventures, children have emotionally significant and character-building experiences; they often grow in ways that surprise even themselves; they make lifelong memories and cherished friends. Thompson shows how children who are away from their parents can be both homesick and happy, scared and successful, anxious and exuberant. When kids go to camp—for a week, a month, or the whole summer—they can experience some of the greatest maturation of their lives, and return more independent, strong, and healthy.
304 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2012
49 people are currently reading
344 people want to read
About the author
Michael G. Thompson
11 books43 followersLibrarian Note: There is more than one author in the Goodreads database with this name.
psychologist, school consultant and international speaker on the subjects of children, schools and parenting
psychologist, school consultant and international speaker on the subjects of children, schools and parenting
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 36 reviews
May 29, 2019
Don’t think of this book as a book on dealing with homesickness. That is in there, but essence of this book is to highlight the many benefits of summer camp. He shines a light on “the magic of camp”.
The book is well organized and his personal research at a large variety of camps with throngs of campers comes through on every page.
The book is well organized and his personal research at a large variety of camps with throngs of campers comes through on every page.
October 29, 2017
As a child, I spent 3 weeks at a sleep-away camp every summer for 9 years. I am already a big fan of sleep-away camps. This book was amazing, in that it helped me view the experience from the parental perspective. There are so many psychological benefits to these weeks of independence (and of course....screen-free!) This book is an excellent reminder that once the baby phase is over, our jobs as parents are to create experiences for our kids to help them become confident and independent adults (one day) and that all of their confidence cannot come just from parental love and praise. Highly recommend for anyone contemplating a sleep-away camp!
July 6, 2012
Wonderful book! As a former camper and camp counselor I have such fond memories of camp, yet the thought of sending my kids to camp made me nervous. Thompson sets out to calm any nerves and shows how great camp is for kids. He had me at chapter one where he discusses the 8 things parents want, but cannot do or give to their children -happiness, self-esteem, friends, independence. The main point is that there are many things parents can not teach their children, and camp is a great secure place to learn about themselves.
Camp can give our kids so much: 1. Electronics free world 2. Extended family-style dinners 3. Older "brothers and sisters" to care for your kids 4. Multi-generational experience 5. Down time 6. Camp rituals 7. Rites of passage, and more.
This book had me tearing up as Thompson interviewed thousands of campers and they eagerly shared what they learned while away from home. Our child will be going to camp next summer.
Camp can give our kids so much: 1. Electronics free world 2. Extended family-style dinners 3. Older "brothers and sisters" to care for your kids 4. Multi-generational experience 5. Down time 6. Camp rituals 7. Rites of passage, and more.
This book had me tearing up as Thompson interviewed thousands of campers and they eagerly shared what they learned while away from home. Our child will be going to camp next summer.
May 2, 2013
For any counselor, parent or future parent this is the book to read. It's not that it is new information. What he is telling you is common sense, about why sending your child to camp is a good thing for them. And that being homesick is also a good thing and it's a healthy developmental step in a child's life. But, the anecdotes and information that he has to back it up are really convincing. He is able to verbalize what most of us in the camp industry have been trying to explain to parents for years. The next time you get a parent who is not interested in sending their 11 year old away to camp because "they aren't ready yet," hand them this book, tell them it's actually them who is not ready and give them a camp brochure.
May 25, 2012
I picked up this book from the "new non-fiction" shelf at the library, more out of disgust than interest but am now completely converted! I thought it was going to be talking about little kids (as in, anti-attachment parenting) but it's actually a really compelling case for sending your kids away from you to camp (or something similar), when they're old enough. Reading this made me realize how very formative all my years at Tanalian Bible Camp really were for who I am today. I thought the information about homesickness and how to prepare your kids for handling it was particularly effective. Definitely a must read for parents!
March 17, 2013
Confirmation that summer camp can be life changing. It was for me.
March 21, 2019
I wanted to not like this book because it was so effusive about the summer camp experience. This is just one giant ad for summer camp, I thought. But then it was interesting to learn about different camps, and to admit that for some kids the experience really is all that.
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November 22, 2019I picked this out from the library because I wanted to feel good about my decision to send my child away to camp at age 8. It certainly helped with that, but it wasn't just a book extolling the wonders of sleep-away camp and providing tips to deal with homesickness. It was a book about growing up.
April 24, 2020
Easy to read and informative.
June 7, 2022
Great stories and guidance for parents about the importance of sending children to camp in order to build confidence, independence, and resilience.
August 4, 2022
For me, this book was a little like preaching to the choir on why camp is awesome. But it was fun to see it put into words as well.
July 26, 2023
3 skills workers will need
Teamwork / collaboration
Ethics/ social responsibility
Oral communication
Teamwork / collaboration
Ethics/ social responsibility
Oral communication
July 14, 2025
Appreciate the motivation this gives to send your kid to overnight camp. I teared up more than once!
A little dated (2010) but essentially timeless themes. Well-written.
A little dated (2010) but essentially timeless themes. Well-written.
December 30, 2020
A fantastic book on how the summer camp experience fosters children's growth and independence.
January 15, 2017
For any parent who hesitates about sending their child to summer camp, this is a must read. Thompson explains why even the most anxious, "non-campy" kids can benefit from the experience.
June 27, 2012
Author Michael Thompson writes a moving paean to summer sleepaway camp. He visits 19 sleep-away camps and recounts his own camping experiences as a child. In his conversations with everyone involved in the camping enterprise -- campers, parents, counselors, directors -- he develops his theme that the experience can be challenging for everyone, but necessary for the growth of a child's sense of confidence, self-esteem and independence.
I agree with Dr. Thompson's overall theme that a child needs time away from his or her parents in order to mature into an independent and confident adult. In the introduction, he lists eight things a parent cannot do for a child and concludes with, "We cannot make our children independent." So true. (I disagree with him, however, that children need to perform risky -- and even life-threatening -- tasks in order to gain this sense of self. He tells us the inspiring, overcoming stories, but who tells the stories of the children who attempted similar feats and did not survive?)
I've seen in action Dr. Thompson's other major point that a child's attachment to a counselor (or youth worker or coach) is perhaps the most powerful one a child can experience, one that can bring satisfactions and growth not accessible in a parent/child relationship. I will be forever grateful to church youth group leaders!
My only reservation is that I think the author paints far too rosy a picture of the camping experience. In his world, camps are natural oases, counselors are competent and patient, directors are caring and involved, and kids are endlessly resilient. I grew up going to a church camp, and I can tell you that I was bored most of the time, embarrassed about my awkwardness at the endless physical activities, and made no lasting friendships. Anyone who signed up could be a counselor, and not all were suited to the role. I couldn't wait to get home so I could just stay inside and read a book!
I agree with Dr. Thompson's overall theme that a child needs time away from his or her parents in order to mature into an independent and confident adult. In the introduction, he lists eight things a parent cannot do for a child and concludes with, "We cannot make our children independent." So true. (I disagree with him, however, that children need to perform risky -- and even life-threatening -- tasks in order to gain this sense of self. He tells us the inspiring, overcoming stories, but who tells the stories of the children who attempted similar feats and did not survive?)
I've seen in action Dr. Thompson's other major point that a child's attachment to a counselor (or youth worker or coach) is perhaps the most powerful one a child can experience, one that can bring satisfactions and growth not accessible in a parent/child relationship. I will be forever grateful to church youth group leaders!
My only reservation is that I think the author paints far too rosy a picture of the camping experience. In his world, camps are natural oases, counselors are competent and patient, directors are caring and involved, and kids are endlessly resilient. I grew up going to a church camp, and I can tell you that I was bored most of the time, embarrassed about my awkwardness at the endless physical activities, and made no lasting friendships. Anyone who signed up could be a counselor, and not all were suited to the role. I couldn't wait to get home so I could just stay inside and read a book!
July 9, 2012
I found this book highlighted at our library and decided to pick it up. I give it 5 stars and echo much of what Megan said in her excellent review.
Homesick and happy made me a bit nostalgic to a go back to camp as a counselor or camper where I spent at least 4 summers. I think camping ministry (in particular Christian camping ministy) really affects kids and they are changed. I remember obese kids who had never hiked a moutain make it to the top of a peak near Estes Park. I remember kids crying about rapelling down a 75 foot cliff, then sharing boastfully to their parents what they accomplished. Camp is a flashback to a different day..where there are no cell phones, video games, and parental attention. But their is camp romance, archery, water balloons, mosquitos, etc.
This book is a good read if you want to send your child to camp but have reservations...let them go!
This book also helped me to understand that my preferences and likes are not Amelia's..this summer she is at day camp at a school..her class list is all arts, dance, and theatre. But she couldn't be more happy!
Homesick and happy made me a bit nostalgic to a go back to camp as a counselor or camper where I spent at least 4 summers. I think camping ministry (in particular Christian camping ministy) really affects kids and they are changed. I remember obese kids who had never hiked a moutain make it to the top of a peak near Estes Park. I remember kids crying about rapelling down a 75 foot cliff, then sharing boastfully to their parents what they accomplished. Camp is a flashback to a different day..where there are no cell phones, video games, and parental attention. But their is camp romance, archery, water balloons, mosquitos, etc.
This book is a good read if you want to send your child to camp but have reservations...let them go!
This book also helped me to understand that my preferences and likes are not Amelia's..this summer she is at day camp at a school..her class list is all arts, dance, and theatre. But she couldn't be more happy!
August 10, 2016
I decided to read this book, first, because I LOVED camp as a child. The fact that we were sending our sons to their first sleep-away camp was another incentive. In any case, this book is billed as "an insightful and compelling look at the magic of summer camp -- and why it is so important for children to be away from home...if only for a little while." The truth is it is about so much more than camp. It puts parents on notice that there are some things they simply canNOT do for their children even in this age where we try to do EVERYthing for our children. Things like independence, happiness, self-esteem, friendships, and courage -- money can't buy them and we aren't equipped to give these gifts to our children. We can only lay the groundwork for them to discover these gifts themselves, BUT we have to
step away OR allow them to put some distance between us so they can do the work, without our hovering and manipulation. Want to send your child to camp? Read the book. Hope your child will move out of your house one day and make a life for himself? Read the book!
step away OR allow them to put some distance between us so they can do the work, without our hovering and manipulation. Want to send your child to camp? Read the book. Hope your child will move out of your house one day and make a life for himself? Read the book!
October 8, 2012
“Homesick and Happy: How Time Away From Parents Can Help A Child Grow” by Michael Thompson, PhD is an interesting and engaging look at the area of summer camps and why sending kids to such camps helps with their development. It provides a good argument for the benefits of attending camps, and also engages with the stories from his research. I'll have to admit, it also made me think of my years as a young camper and as a counselor. I could relate to much of what Thompson wrote about with my own experiences.
If you are a parent that is wondering about whether or not to send your child to a summer camp, I encourage you to read this book. It will help lesson your fears and illustrate why kids need to be allowed to go out on their own. If you don't have kids of this age, but want to read an interesting book that will bring back memories of your own youth and summer camps, you'll enjoy this book too.
It's a book I'm glad I read, and I'll probably look at it again when my daughter is old enough to head off to a camp of her own.
If you are a parent that is wondering about whether or not to send your child to a summer camp, I encourage you to read this book. It will help lesson your fears and illustrate why kids need to be allowed to go out on their own. If you don't have kids of this age, but want to read an interesting book that will bring back memories of your own youth and summer camps, you'll enjoy this book too.
It's a book I'm glad I read, and I'll probably look at it again when my daughter is old enough to head off to a camp of her own.
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September 1, 2015I never finished but I'm finished for now. I was seriously nervous about sending my kid to camp for the first time because one, I would miss him like crazy and he was there for 3 weeks. But mostly because of child molesters. That's where my mind goes. As far as I can tell the book didn't cover the latter but it covered a lot of the growth experience that comes from camp. That was helpful. It also covered homesickness to the nth degree. And while I was sure my son would have it like one half of one percent of the time maybe. Maybe. It wasn't my main concern. By the time I got this book he was already booked for camp so I was committed. This book was good because it's probably one of the most exhaustively researched camp books. The author was a camper (so maybe there is some confirmation bias), he visited several camps (including the one I sent my son to). He also covered experiences where camp just wasn't right for everyone. And like anything else, it isn't. But I didn't finish because I was just over-homesick. Ed.
June 8, 2012
Michael Thompson once again gives parents perspective and guidance as we navigate the decisions of raising children, and in this book he celebrates the merits of sleep away camps. One of my children is an avid and enthusiastic camper, another is going somewhat reluctantly to camp this summer for the first time. Thompson promotes the idea that children will take risks and open themselves to new experiences in a completely different way in a camp environment than they would when their parents are nearby or even in a day camp setting. If you are a firm believer in the merits of camp, Thompson validates that with volumes of research on the benefits of time away from parents. If you are on the fence, his arguements are convincing.
June 12, 2013
Read Ch 9, "The Magic of Camp," first -
"Camp is Hogwarts. While only a tiny fraction of children in the world will ever go to boarding schools, and none will ever go to an academy that fields a Quidditch team, all children imagine themselves going to Hogwarts, because it is an iconic place where kids are on their own." My goodness - Michael Thompson doesn't know my daughter but that is an apt description of what summer camp means to her.
I found myself tearing up - in public! - reading about the transformative camp experiences of a now-fifty-something woman, and of a BU professor, and of 160 young girls watching their counselors compete in a "Miss Ugly" contest. Just thinking of the stories now brings up my own treasured camp memories.
Wonderful.
"Camp is Hogwarts. While only a tiny fraction of children in the world will ever go to boarding schools, and none will ever go to an academy that fields a Quidditch team, all children imagine themselves going to Hogwarts, because it is an iconic place where kids are on their own." My goodness - Michael Thompson doesn't know my daughter but that is an apt description of what summer camp means to her.
I found myself tearing up - in public! - reading about the transformative camp experiences of a now-fifty-something woman, and of a BU professor, and of 160 young girls watching their counselors compete in a "Miss Ugly" contest. Just thinking of the stories now brings up my own treasured camp memories.
Wonderful.
February 12, 2013
This book, though a fun read, didn't hit the points I would like to have seen. It read more like a PR piece for summer camp and less like a book about developmental psychology.
It didn't help, of course, that my experience of summer camp was completely alien from that described in the book. So my review must be filtered given that knowledge.
Dr. Thompson illustrated amply some of the most desirable aspects of the sleep away camp experience and on the factors (the presence of multiple age groups, the freedom from parental expectation, etc.) that recommend it.
If I were about to send my kids off to camp, this book would serve as a mighty balm, I am sure.
It didn't help, of course, that my experience of summer camp was completely alien from that described in the book. So my review must be filtered given that knowledge.
Dr. Thompson illustrated amply some of the most desirable aspects of the sleep away camp experience and on the factors (the presence of multiple age groups, the freedom from parental expectation, etc.) that recommend it.
If I were about to send my kids off to camp, this book would serve as a mighty balm, I am sure.
April 30, 2013
The overall message of the book was great. I totally agree about time away from parents in a camp-like setting is a great thing for a kid for many reasons. I don't think that summer camp is te best/only option for that kind of growth though. Also the book felt more "personal experience" based than actual research based. Not that he didn't interview a lot of people - he just seemed to interview a lot of camp-lovers.
September 21, 2012
Very helpful and interesting look at the power of the camp experience and how we can successfully share it with our children. Offers advice on letting children gain independence and resiliency through their own experiences in our world of hyper parenting worry. Love the useful tips for helping and preparing kids for homesickness and parents for childsickness.
July 22, 2014
A great read for sure! I know all the benefits of the sleep away experience from my own experience, but there were lots of great perspectives I have not thought if before. Definitely reinforces the parenting choice of sending your child off for all the right reasons. Finished it up just in time for mine to leave and I hope they love it!
June 28, 2012
A must for anyone who is considering sending their child to camp. I'm so glad I read this, I know how great the experience is for them. Research and lots of info very helpful to parents wanting the best for their kids!
November 6, 2012
Very good, and comprehensive, look at the benefits of summer camps for kids (and staff). Highly recommend this read for a parent considering sending their kid(s) to camp, who has not themself grown up going to camp. Somewhat of a dry read but very educational.
July 19, 2014
I read this for July's Parenting by the Book. It was the perfect thing to read while my older daughter tried out sleep-away camp for the first time. Recommend it for parents needing reassurance that time away from home is good for kids and parents.
November 15, 2013
A lot of good comes from the experiences gained from being sent to sleep away camp and it's hard to replicate the experiences in other safe, age appropriate ways. Now there's no need for anyone to read this book.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 36 reviews