How to Be a Person: The Stranger's Guide to College, Sex, Intoxicants, Tacos, and Life Itself

by Lindy West, Dan Savage, Christopher Frizzelle

From Dan Savage, Lindy West, and The Stranger staff comes this hilarious guide to life for college students and beyond. Here is all the information you actually need to know that no one else will tell you which majors to avoid, how to not get a STD, everything there is to know about philosophy (in a single paragraph!), what the music you like says about you, how to turn a crush into something more, how to come out (should you happen to be gay), how to binge drink and not die, how do laundry, how to do drugs (and which ones you should never do), good manners, tips on flirting with film nerds, how to write a great sentence, and a state-by-state guide to the U.S. of A. It's all here, along with Dan Savage's very best advice about sex and love. Hi!

Genres: Nonfiction, Humor, Self Help, Essays, Comedy, Psychology, Inspirational

272 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2012

About the author

Lindy West is a columnist at The Guardian, a contributor to This American Life, and a freelance writer whose work focuses on feminism, social justice, humor, and body image. Her work has appeared in the New York Times, Cosmopolitan, GQ, Vulture, Jezebel, The Stranger, and others. She is the founder of I Believe You, It's Not Your Fault, an advice blog for teens, as well as the reproductive rights destigmatization campaign #ShoutYourAbortion.

Reviews

[Beth · Rating 2 out of 5]

I wanted to like this book with every fiber of my being. I was ready to order it for our library. It sounded right up my alley ... and honest, funny, sassy, unfiltered (scandalous) guide to college and life for the 17+ crowd. It was Buzzfeed endorsed and one of the authors shares my name... what could be better?!

This book. This book could be better.

Some parts were great and helpful and direct and funny. However, all that was overshadowed by Dan Savage's unnecessary hypocrisy and religion bashing. I knew going into this that he is not everyone's cup of tea but I dont generally mind him... however he lost me here. I am not a sensitive person by any means and I was offended by some of the things he wrote with regard to Catholics and homosexuals. Ultimately he was behaving exactly as the reader he was berating in one of the featured exchanges. I know being gay is not easy, and a lot of people (catholic and otherwise) only add to the difficulties ... but to outright Catholic bash makes you no better of a person... especially when so many people (catholic or otherwise) are LGBT supporters. I never feel it is beneficial to fight hate with hate (because all you do is alienate people who are already on your side) and that is exactly what Dan Savage does in this book and unfortunately this is what stuck with me... rather than any of the advice that could be considered helpful.

Its a shame because without a handful of unnecessary inflammatory exchanges this book could have been great. It seemed kind of childish and I'm not sure what the authors were intending to achieve by including them.

[Alaina · Rating 4 out of 5]

I could not stop laughing.

Ever since I read The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life I have been trying to find another super funny "self-help" book. I wasn't disappointed at all. But honestly if you don't have an ounce of humor in your teeny tiny pinky - this book will never be for you. EVER.

Unfortunately for me I have already been to college and graduated before I even knew about this book. So, it doesn't really apply to me and none of this really happened to me either but it was just so funny that I momentarily forget that I ever went to college. Hell, this made me want to build a time machine and go back to when I was college. Sadly, I don't have a machine and I kind of like making money right now.

Other than that, this book is a pretty quick read. Especially if you're into it like I was. I couldn't put it down. I didn't want to either. And now I'm off on my new adventure to find another super hilarious self help book.

[Vicki (The Wolf's Den) · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book definitely won't be for everyone. For one thing, you have to have a sense of humor. If you don't at least smile at the inside flap, then drop this book now, because I can almost guarantee that you won't like it. In addition to prolific swearing, the book contains a LONG, detailed chapter concerning sex—straight, gay, lesbian, bi and trans—by way of real written letters and responses a la "Dear Abby", and a chapter on politics (specifically describing Republicans and Feminists). However, there are also laundry tips, tested recipes, and true stories of working in restaurants.

I guess I'd recommend it to anyone who is really, really stressed about going off to college who has a sense of humor and an open mind. A lot of statements in the book are there purely for comedic effect (see the sections on music and books), but there are quite a few sincere pieces of advice as well (see the chapter on Drugs).

I don't know if I would have picked this up before heading off to college, and if I had, I don't know if it would have changed much of my experience. But I do think that voicing and addressing some of the fears a newly graduated 17/18-year-old can be helpful, even (especially) when delivered in a comedic and frank fashion.

Approximate Reading Time: 4.5 hours

[S. · Rating 3 out of 5]

Dan Savage, Lindy West, and the staff of the Stranger put out a quick book of advice about life, love, drugs, sex, rock and roll for 18 year olds. generally practical information (viz., pot won't kill you but DEFINITELY stay clear of heroin), and of course the Savage entries are pretty worldwide and amusing

added this in to counterbalance the 4s and 5s that have been filling up my reading queue. part of the situation is that Goodreads's glut of information now allows me to zero in, laserlike, on the very best titles. ordinarily that would be a good thing, but as one's average book rating creeps to 4 territory, suddenly there's an inversion of help-- if every book is a 4, then of course none of them are.

what else-- continuing economic chaos. as in, I gotta scramble for either China or Guam employment. 2 months of paychecks have dried up, leaving me working the Rolodex. 2013 is a curveball. thank god mere hours remain.

good reads cake day-- I approach or have passed the one year anniversary of joining GR. my primary contribution -- many of the top GR reviewers now peevishly note that "blog style reviewers" are annoying. yes we are . hahahaha

other developments-- goodreads formally transferred me from USA to Japan in its rankings. thus, I zoom from #117 reader in the USA to the #3 reviewer in Japan. haha, context is everything after all.

world scene: tensions, mildly rising?

[Shane Smith · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is maybe the best book for someone going into college I've ever heard of. It is straight to the point with life-advice. And it's written in a light tone and good humor. More than once I thought to myself "That's so obvious now, but I really wish someone had just told me that 10 years ago." Anyhow, very funny, witty, and not too serious.

[Erin]

This book is pretty funny, but not necessarily super useful for someone about to leave for college. It's actually feels more like a humor book for a college grad.

[Amy · Rating 2 out of 5]

Oof, another skippable read. We got bad hot takes, forced humour, and opinions treated like the word of God.

Here are the parts that I would actually recommend:
-Everything you need to know about journalism (p 12-13)
-Cover Your Junk, STIs, and the abortion section (p 36-40) - some decent sex ed if you never received it
-So I Think I Just Got R*ped (p 102-104; cw for sexual assault) - the only good part of the Savage Love section
-On Drinking and Driving (p. 124)
-What No One Else Will Tell You About Drugs, starting on p 131 - an honest no-judgement description of what the drugs do, which ones you should completely avoid, and how to be safe while using
-just page 146
-How to Actually Do Laundry (p. 151-152)
-Books You Should Avoid (p 174) - I'm firmly in the camp of Let People Enjoy Things, but yeah Ayn Rand sucks

And advice generally from the rest: communicate honestly with the people in your life.

[Kunal · Rating 2 out of 5]

This is the first book I have ever read where I truly felt too old to be reading this book. The book tries to invoke both humor and provide advice on several topics that the typical college student faces such as sex, binge drinking, etc. I do recommend this book for any high school senior as I can see how the advice would have been of interest to me at that time of my life, however now with a few years under my belt a lot of the advice provided is of common sense to me now and I frankly don't find it humorous anymore. Again, highly recommend this book for any high school senior, however anyone else would just be wasting their time with this book.

[Liana · Rating 2 out of 5]

I got this because it was a cheap Kindle Daily Deal. It looked like it would be funny and part of it was by Dan Savage. Actually it's pretty obnoxious with lot of unnecessary swearing because it's trying to sound cool. I hope that nobody starting college actually takes its advice seriously. There was one part that made me laugh, something about old people feeding pigeons. It was only one paragraph, though.

[Doug B · Rating 2 out of 5]

Relatively funny (a little) at times, so it gets 2 stars. But in general this book was pretty useless. It wasnt very funny, I didn’t learn anything, and it was mostly the authors finding different ways to promote liberal viewpoints. I’m not anti-liberal, I just didn’t find it particularly thrilling. I also felt that it was very oriented toward gay people, with many of the stories being about gay couples, etc. If you are gay you will love it

[(a)lyss(a) · Rating 3 out of 5]

Maybe I’m in a book rut but this one wasn’t for me.

I was surprised by this book for a number of reasons. It is still odd seeing both Lindy West and Dan Savage published together in the Stranger. And Dan Savage still getting as much of the limelight as he does. And how this book felt like it was trying too hard to be edgy.

I may just be too old to get the humor or what I was supposed to glean from this book.

[Dharini Shruti · Rating 2 out of 5]

2.5 stars.

Picked up this book because the title seemed interesting and the contents seemed fun. I'm a college student so I thought it'd be a fun read and might even help a little. To be honest I skipped a few pages because I didn't find it helpful and the content did not resonate with me.

This book is not for everyone for sure. Some parts of it are extremely funny and helpful but there are parts that I didn't essentially enjoy.

[Nicole · Rating 1 out of 5]

I checked this out because I love both Lindy West and Dan Savage and I thought it would be funny. There were about two funny lines a the beginning but then it just became SO. FREAKING. Condescending. It was really trying hard to be funny but it didn't make it. Clearly I am not the demographic for this book. Savage and West still rock though.

[Miss Susan · Rating 2 out of 5]

occasionally funny but honestly some of this is bad advice. and i feel bad for that woman whose cover letter they mocked, something tells me they didn't exactly ask her whether she was okay with them publishing it. 2.5 stars

[Dede · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is co-written by Dan Savage, who I love. The book is bold and cute and could be fun for a college age person to read. But, it is also meant to entertain, so it wouldn't be the sole advice book to consider.

[Trish Mcintosh · Rating 2 out of 5]

20% meaningful contributions.
50% dated and/or amusing commentary

Overall, not enough for a book - rather a lazy collection of columns. I love the writers - but yeah. Lazy and outdated. (Of course. It’s several years old.)

[Dave Heberer · Rating 3 out of 5]

It is fairly shallow reading. If you are looking for some deep revelations or sage advice, this is not the book for you. If you want to repeatedly be told to be kind and think about how others feel in your actions in various mildly amusing ways, this book is for you.

[jen · Rating 1 out of 5]

dnf because 10% in she started saying what majors were worth majoring in college, and as a major of one of the majors on her no-no/completely useless in life List i decided to quit. her examples are veerrrry specific, and the humor is very passive aggressive.
.5*

[J Guy · Rating 1 out of 5]

His trans chapter ruined the whole thing for me

[Warmdarksky · Rating 4 out of 5]

Some good stuff in here.

[Sheila Confer · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book is some white privileged nonsense. That being said, I am finding it mildly amusing because I am myself, white and privileged. So there's that.

[Sophie · Rating 2 out of 5]

I was given this book by a family friend in honor of me going away for college, and it really wasn't anything that I experienced. Maybe it will be more applicable later, but as of right now, it hasn't been that helpful. I am not someone who does very many of the things mentioned in the book, and if I do do the things, then I already have my own advice given to me by people I know and trust. That being said, if this kind of book is your thing, go for it!

[Roger Liang · Rating 4 out of 5]

I think that a friend left this with me at the end of college, and I just now got around to looking at it. The book seems to be written for people who do not (or do not know how to) read books. , but I actually enjoyed the mindlessness of perusing this while nursing a hangover. It exceeded my very low expectations. I can't imagine reading this book prescriptively as an 18 year old, but it was fun for 25-year-old me to nod along.

[Wetdryvac · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is vaguely like that UHF moment of, "Who wants a drink from the firehose?" Individually, the chapters and bits of chapters are mostly fantastic, mostly funny, and mostly usefully informative when not being tongue in cheek. However, trying to do a straight read of the thing pretty much knocked me off the stool and into the distance.

Small chunks. The key to this book is small chunks at a go.

[Mark Vukovic · Rating 3 out of 5]

A great concept but dated now.
Best sections:
What No One Else Will Tell You About College
How to Write Good
The Different Kinds of People That There Are

It’s like the shell of a book, but post covid and trump, I’m sure it should be updated. The only reason people are rating it low is because they are fragile republicans.

[Patrick Jensen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great book that all college bound (or maybe juniors in high school) should read. Makes a great graduation gift and the recipient will think you're the "cool friend" of their parents. Also, lets them know subtly you might be an adult they can trust if they ever need an ally. Lindy West

[Evan Kirby · Rating 3 out of 5]

It’s all just basic information on how to be a decent person that anyone with half a brain should already now. The authors think they’re a lot funnier than they actually are, but I guess that what happens when you get old people writing a book for college kids.

[Eva Harkness · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent for All.

I started to read this thinking my elder teen would like it and benefit ...then I couldn't put it down. I've picked up some new learning that I must have missed during my first run at growing up.

[Katie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Not even sure how to categorize this one, but I love me some Dan Savage!

[Sarah Doubenmier · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a fun quick read with some pretty good advice. I’d say this book would be good to give a graduate, but it’s pretty risqué with some things. Truthful and funny.