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McDonaldland Mythos #2
Barbarian Beast Bitches of the Badlands
The Bitches are back . . . They call themselves the Warriors, their enemies call them the Bitches. They are a gang of man-eating, motorcycle-riding, war-hungry werewolf women, and they are the rulers of the wasteland. Following his 2009 Wonderland Book Award-winning novel, Warrior Wolf Women of the Wasteland, Carlton Mellick III returns with Barbarian Beast Bitches of the Badlands, a collection of three interconnected novels that take place before, during, and after the events of the first book. BARBARIAN BEAST BABES OF THE BADLANDS Talon and a party of warrior biker women must hunt down a pack of giant wolves that have gone rabid. HORRENDOUS HORROR OF THE HATEFUL HAMBURGLAR A band of mutant soldiers led by the deadly samurai, Hamburglar, investigates an outpost deep in the wasteland that has become plagued by a horde of deranged undead killing machines.FEROCIOUS FEMALE FURRIES IN THE FORBIDDEN ZONE After Talon is infected with a strange mind-killing parasite, Slayer must lead a party of wolf women into the Forbidden Zone in order to find a cure.
313 pages, Kindle Edition
First published June 26, 2011
15 people are currently reading
255 people want to read
About the author
Carlton Mellick III
119 books2,173 followersCarlton Mellick III (July 2, 1977, Phoenix, Arizona) is an American author currently residing in Portland, Oregon. He calls his style of writing "avant-punk," and is currently one of the leading authors in the recent 'Bizarro' movement in underground literature[citation needed] with Steve Aylett, Chris Genoa and D. Harlan Wilson.
Mellick's work has been described as a combination of trashy schlock sci-fi/horror and postmodern literary art. His novels explore surreal versions of earth in contemporary society and imagined futures, commonly focusing on social absurdities and satire.
Carlton Mellick III started writing at the age of ten and completed twelve novels by the age of eighteen. Only one of these early novels, "Electric Jesus Corpse", ever made it to print.
He is best known for his first novel Satan Burger and its sequel Punk Land. Satan Burger was translated into Russian and published by Ultra Culture in 2005. It was part of a four book series called Brave New World, which also featured Virtual Light by William Gibson, City Come A Walkin by John Shirley, and Tea from an Empty Cup by Pat Cadigan.
In the late 90's, he formed a collective for offbeat authors which included D. Harlan Wilson, Kevin L. Donihe, Vincent Sakowski, among others, and the publishing company Eraserhead Press. This scene evolved into the Bizarro fiction movement in 2005.
In addition to writing, Mellick is an artist and musician.
Mellick's work has been described as a combination of trashy schlock sci-fi/horror and postmodern literary art. His novels explore surreal versions of earth in contemporary society and imagined futures, commonly focusing on social absurdities and satire.
Carlton Mellick III started writing at the age of ten and completed twelve novels by the age of eighteen. Only one of these early novels, "Electric Jesus Corpse", ever made it to print.
He is best known for his first novel Satan Burger and its sequel Punk Land. Satan Burger was translated into Russian and published by Ultra Culture in 2005. It was part of a four book series called Brave New World, which also featured Virtual Light by William Gibson, City Come A Walkin by John Shirley, and Tea from an Empty Cup by Pat Cadigan.
In the late 90's, he formed a collective for offbeat authors which included D. Harlan Wilson, Kevin L. Donihe, Vincent Sakowski, among others, and the publishing company Eraserhead Press. This scene evolved into the Bizarro fiction movement in 2005.
In addition to writing, Mellick is an artist and musician.
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Displaying 1 - 13 of 13 reviews
November 14, 2011
Barbarian Beast B*tches of the Badlands is a collection of three novellas set in the world of Warrior Wolf Women of the Wastelands.
Barbarian Beast Babes of the Badlands: Apple and her boyfriend Sam join the pack of warrior wolf women. How will Sam adjust to his status as Apple's property and his new robot legs?
Barbarian Beast Babes of the Badlands was a nice way to get the collection started and re-introduce the world. It was cool reading about Apple, Talon, and Hyena again. The colossus and metal worms were good villans.
Horrendous Horror of the Hateful Hamburglar: As a band of Outlanders fights against a horde of mutants under the control of brain-eating parasites, the Hamburglar's horrifying past is revealed.
The Hamburglar, greatest samurai that ever lived, was only briefly glimpsed in Warrior Wolf Women of the Wastelands. He takes center stage in this one. My favorite line was "Before he was the Hamburglar, he was an ordinary psychopath."
Ferocious Female Furries in the Forbidden Zone: Set months after Warror Wolf Women of the Wastelands, Slayer steps into a leadership role with the tribe and makes Hyena her second in command. Talon and other Wolves are infected and the girls head south into the Forbidden Zone to find the cure.
The backstory of the metallic worm parasites takes center stage in this one. The culture of the Forbidden Zone was fascinating and the dynamic between the Wolves after Slayer took charge made this the standout of the book.
While I didn't enjoy this one as much as Warrior Wolf Women of the Wastelands, it's definitely a good read and should appeal to everyone who enjoyed the first book. If you're needing a lady post-apocalyptic werewolf fix, look no further.
Barbarian Beast Babes of the Badlands: Apple and her boyfriend Sam join the pack of warrior wolf women. How will Sam adjust to his status as Apple's property and his new robot legs?
Barbarian Beast Babes of the Badlands was a nice way to get the collection started and re-introduce the world. It was cool reading about Apple, Talon, and Hyena again. The colossus and metal worms were good villans.
Horrendous Horror of the Hateful Hamburglar: As a band of Outlanders fights against a horde of mutants under the control of brain-eating parasites, the Hamburglar's horrifying past is revealed.
The Hamburglar, greatest samurai that ever lived, was only briefly glimpsed in Warrior Wolf Women of the Wastelands. He takes center stage in this one. My favorite line was "Before he was the Hamburglar, he was an ordinary psychopath."
Ferocious Female Furries in the Forbidden Zone: Set months after Warror Wolf Women of the Wastelands, Slayer steps into a leadership role with the tribe and makes Hyena her second in command. Talon and other Wolves are infected and the girls head south into the Forbidden Zone to find the cure.
The backstory of the metallic worm parasites takes center stage in this one. The culture of the Forbidden Zone was fascinating and the dynamic between the Wolves after Slayer took charge made this the standout of the book.
While I didn't enjoy this one as much as Warrior Wolf Women of the Wastelands, it's definitely a good read and should appeal to everyone who enjoyed the first book. If you're needing a lady post-apocalyptic werewolf fix, look no further.
March 26, 2024
Another very good read. Mellick has created a very fun and interesting setting with infinite possibilities for more messed up novels and short stories. Really liking the furry female characters, even though they treat men like meat, they grow on you. Hope he puts out more Bitch books in the future.
October 7, 2014
What can i say about this book, except that I loved it? It was like meeting old friends (if you can call a pack of wolfwomen friends), after a long time. I loved Warrior Wolf Women of the Wasteland and in this book (which contains 2 prequels and 1 sequel to the Wolf Women of the Wasteland) i had the chance to find out a lot about the characters of the original book, especially about Hamburglar. His story is really interesting and perfect!
And there's everything in this book: epic battles, gore, sexuality, violence! All the good stuff. And Carlton Mellick III "introduces" us to some new creatures, like the metallic worms and some new sea monsters, that reminded me - in a way - of the Cthulhu mythos!
And there's everything in this book: epic battles, gore, sexuality, violence! All the good stuff. And Carlton Mellick III "introduces" us to some new creatures, like the metallic worms and some new sea monsters, that reminded me - in a way - of the Cthulhu mythos!
March 17, 2016
Dear Carlton: You had a brilliant idea creating this amazing world. I loved the first book, but... why did you continue? I can't understand.
August 7, 2011
This book is the prequel-prequel-then sequel to the 2009 wonderland award winning novel "Warrior Wolf Women of the Wasteland". A book that was so awesome I am still freaking out about it a little.
In this latest book, we are introduced to a few new Warriors (the name of the wolf-women), and we are given MUCH more backstory on The Hamburglar, who may well be the greatest villain in the history of fiction.
All of the stories revolve around these strange, metallic worm things that squirm into a host before taking over its mind and making it go nuts. THe stories all work well together, and they are addicting and entertaining almost to a fault. We are given violence, zombies (sort of), epic battles, engaging characters, unbridled female sexuality, interesting creatures, and much, much more.
However, this does strike me as one of those books that one would not appreciate as much having not read the first book. While that wasn't a problem for me, I have had it happen before where I purchased a book not knowing it was a sequel and couldn't understand almost half of the book. This is my own fault, I know. But still, I have also purchased books not realizing they were sequels and finished them without still realizeing they were sequels. THey gave me plenty of back story, and I figured everything out without the aide of the first book.
This is not one of those books, but it doesn't matter, because you should be reading Warrior Wolf Women of the Wasteland all the time anyway.
It really is that good.
And so is this one.
incredible.
In this latest book, we are introduced to a few new Warriors (the name of the wolf-women), and we are given MUCH more backstory on The Hamburglar, who may well be the greatest villain in the history of fiction.
All of the stories revolve around these strange, metallic worm things that squirm into a host before taking over its mind and making it go nuts. THe stories all work well together, and they are addicting and entertaining almost to a fault. We are given violence, zombies (sort of), epic battles, engaging characters, unbridled female sexuality, interesting creatures, and much, much more.
However, this does strike me as one of those books that one would not appreciate as much having not read the first book. While that wasn't a problem for me, I have had it happen before where I purchased a book not knowing it was a sequel and couldn't understand almost half of the book. This is my own fault, I know. But still, I have also purchased books not realizing they were sequels and finished them without still realizeing they were sequels. THey gave me plenty of back story, and I figured everything out without the aide of the first book.
This is not one of those books, but it doesn't matter, because you should be reading Warrior Wolf Women of the Wasteland all the time anyway.
It really is that good.
And so is this one.
incredible.
February 17, 2020
One of the better works from this author. A bit of mad max, a bit of furries, a bit of werewolves and a bit of McDonald. Interestingncombination.
And more importantly not overboard bizzare. Which is saying something for this author.
And more importantly not overboard bizzare. Which is saying something for this author.
February 18, 2022
The Hamburglar story was the best but there were 3 fun overly long returns to McDonaldland.
Read
May 18, 2022Too much action. Inadequate storyline
August 12, 2012
Barbarian Beast Bitches of the Badlands is the follow-up to Warrior Wolf Women of the Wasteland, Feroin which we're introduced to an outcast tribe of women who have undergone transformations into wolves. Barbarian Beast Bitches is split into three separate stories, all connected by one central plot. Mellick takes these opportunities to explore characters who never really got a chance in the first book.
The first story, Barbarian Beast Babes of the Badlands, is set about two years prior to the events of the first book, and focuses around the character Apple and when she first encounters the Warriors as they are on the hunt for their big sister wolves who have gone out of control.
The second story, Horrendous Horror of the Hateful Hamburglar, takes place during the events of the first book and centers around one of the barely mentioned antagonists from the first book, the Hamburglar, a self-trained samurai with body modifications to make him look like the famed McDonaldland villain. In this story, he and a small band of mutant males are on a mission to check up on one of their outposts when they discover the place has been overrun by a horde of infected mutants and they must fight to stay alive.
The third story, Ferocious Female Furries in the Forbidden Zone, is the final, unifying piece of the book that leads to the ultimate climax of the whole book. It takes off immediately from the end of the first book and is told from the perspective of the Warrior Knight Hyena. The Warrior's leader, Talon, is infected with a parasite, and the Warriors must venture into the Forbidden Zone to find a cure. They encounter strange new creatures and take on brave new battles.
Though each of the stories contain their own individual plots and climaxes, they all work together toward a larger plot that ends in a larger finale. It's a brilliant follow-up to Warrior Wolf Women, but doesn't completely rely on it to tell its story. The book still does expect the reader to already know some of the background from the first book, however. Some of the main characters from the first book have been shifted to support character roles, but their backgrounds aren't covered since they're covered in the first book.
This book is just as great and fun as the first one and really reaches depths of the Warriors that weren't quite reached before, and it's all the better for it. If you enjoyed Warrior Wolf Women of the Wasteland, then this is the obvious follow-up choice for you. If Carlton Mellick III decides to reenter this world once again, I will be right there ready and willing to jump in again.
The first story, Barbarian Beast Babes of the Badlands, is set about two years prior to the events of the first book, and focuses around the character Apple and when she first encounters the Warriors as they are on the hunt for their big sister wolves who have gone out of control.
The second story, Horrendous Horror of the Hateful Hamburglar, takes place during the events of the first book and centers around one of the barely mentioned antagonists from the first book, the Hamburglar, a self-trained samurai with body modifications to make him look like the famed McDonaldland villain. In this story, he and a small band of mutant males are on a mission to check up on one of their outposts when they discover the place has been overrun by a horde of infected mutants and they must fight to stay alive.
The third story, Ferocious Female Furries in the Forbidden Zone, is the final, unifying piece of the book that leads to the ultimate climax of the whole book. It takes off immediately from the end of the first book and is told from the perspective of the Warrior Knight Hyena. The Warrior's leader, Talon, is infected with a parasite, and the Warriors must venture into the Forbidden Zone to find a cure. They encounter strange new creatures and take on brave new battles.
Though each of the stories contain their own individual plots and climaxes, they all work together toward a larger plot that ends in a larger finale. It's a brilliant follow-up to Warrior Wolf Women, but doesn't completely rely on it to tell its story. The book still does expect the reader to already know some of the background from the first book, however. Some of the main characters from the first book have been shifted to support character roles, but their backgrounds aren't covered since they're covered in the first book.
This book is just as great and fun as the first one and really reaches depths of the Warriors that weren't quite reached before, and it's all the better for it. If you enjoyed Warrior Wolf Women of the Wasteland, then this is the obvious follow-up choice for you. If Carlton Mellick III decides to reenter this world once again, I will be right there ready and willing to jump in again.
April 18, 2012
Epic bizarro action! Mellick pours more awesome onto an already awesome world with a deep roster of kick-ass characters. There is a mythology being built here that I hope will last a few more books, if not a gigantic opus of post-apocalyptic barbarism told by the master of the weird. I hope we get to see more weird far-off civilizations of mutated America. I hope we return to McDonaldland sometime, to see what Grimace is up to. Most of all I hope we get to catch up to Slayer, Hyena, and the rest of the bitches again. If not, I'll be pissed.
November 15, 2011
nice to revisit the world and some characters from warrior wolf women of the wasteland. it was a good read, although it really drags in spots, as a whole i thinks it's unnecessarily long.
December 8, 2014
A really great book, but it has enough errors that should have been czught in editing that it makes you stumble to keep this from being 5 stars.
January 15, 2026
Bitchier than ever.
Displaying 1 - 13 of 13 reviews