A Good Man: Rediscovering My Father, Sargent Shriver

by Mark K. Shriver

In this intimate portrait of an extraordinary father-son relationship, Mark K. Shriver discovers the moral principles that guided his legendary father and applies them to his own lifeWhen Sargent "Sarge" Shriver—founder of the Peace Corps and architect of President Johnson's War on Poverty—died in 2011 after a valiant fight with Alzheimer's, thousands of tributes poured in from friends and strangers worldwide. These tributes, which extolled the daily kindness and humanity of "a good man," moved his son Mark far more than those who lauded Sarge for his big-stage, headline-making accomplishments. After a lifetime searching for the path to his father's success in the public arena, Mark instead turns to a search for the secret of his father's joy, his devotion to others, and his sense of purpose. Mark discovers notes and letters from Sarge; hears personal stories from friends and family that zero in on the three guiding principles of Sarge's life—faith, hope, and love—and recounts moments with Sarge that now take on new value and poignancy. In the process, Mark discovers much about himself, as a father, as a husband, and as a social justice advocate. A Good Man is an inspirational and deeply personal story about a son discovering the true meaning of his father's legacy.

Genres: Biography, Nonfiction, Memoir, Politics, History, Family, Catholic

288 pages, Hardcover

First published January 1, 2012

Reviews

[Bob · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is an unexpected gem. Sargent Shriver was always a background figure in the Kennedy and Johnson administrations and connected by marriage to the Kennedy family. I knew little else until I read this book. I learned about his accomplishments in civil rights work in Chicago in the 1950s, his pivotal role in founding and defending the Peace Corps and Legal Aid. I also was reminded of his failed bid for the Vice Presidency with McGovern in 1972 and also his brief run for the presidency in 1976.

What I didn't know was what a "good man" in Mark Shriver's words this man was. Mark, his son, begins by explaining the title as inspired by what many had said about his father after his death. It moved him to explore more about what made his father such a good man, even as Alzheimer's slowly eroded his life. What it came down to was the deep religious faith of this man who attended Mass every day. We learn what a good father this man was to his sons, how he stood by Mark through electoral defeats and victories in his own political career, of the many notes slipped under the door affirming over and over his love and confidence in his son. We learn of his abounding joy of life that came out of his deep faith and hope. He once spoke on seeing a Chesapeake sunrise of looking forward to meeting the God who could make such a beautiful sight. And in his Alzheimer's when asked by Mark if he knew what was happening to him, he replied "I'm just trying to do the best with what God has given me."

This was a man who was unstintingly faithful to his wife in a scandal-laden family. This was a man whose secretary worked for him for over 30 years because of what an extraordinary person he was. This was a Yale educated man whose blue-collar personal assistant became one of his closest male friends. This was a man who would leave dignitaries to talk to a special needs child or urban youth. This was a man who chose to continue to believe despite witnessing the horrendous deaths of shipmates during World War 2.

On a personal note, having lost my own father during this past year, I found myself again and again drawing the comparison between Shriver and my dad. Many people said the same thing to me at his funeral and it was equally true though he never achieved even Shriver's fame. His faith, his love for my mom, his love and pride in all his children and grand-children, his unsung care for others. This book was a gift in reminding these of how blessed I was with the "good man" in my life and it challenged me to live worthy of that. Thanks to the "good son" who gave this to me!

[Kelley · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book reads like a tribute to a father by his son. When I won this book from a Goodreads giveaway, I was excited because I didn't know much about Sargent Shriver. Although this book isn't full of fact after fact, I learned a great deal about a "good man". Shriver was a part of the famous Kennedy clan, the father of the Peace Corps, Legal Aid, and Head Start; but above all of that, he was a family man. Sargent Shriver wrote letters/notes to his children that he would put under their bedroom doors at night so that they would be able to read his words of love first thing in the morning. He was a joyful man, full of hope and love. Most importantly, he was a man of faith. He went to Mass every morning all through his life. During the highs and lows, his faith sustained him. This book is not only a tribute to his father, but also a story of how Mark Shriver learned to want nothing more than to be "good man" himself. Mr. Shriver tells the story of his father's battle with Alzheimer's Disease admirably. He described his own emotional rollercoaster as he watched his father sink further into it's depths. Sargent Shriver wasn't the only person who suffered; each member of the family suffered differently. I thought the description of his own emotions was deeply moving. This is an honest portrait of a close father/son relationship. A son's lasting tribute to a father whom he wants to emulate.

[Ginny · Rating 5 out of 5]

I've always been such an admirer of Sargent Shriver. I first became aware of him when he became the first director of the Peace Corps under President Kennedy; then the OEO and the War on Poverty under President Johnson. Because I was too young to vote for President Kennedy in 1960, was living in the Philippines in 1964 and my absentee ballot arrived 1 month after the election, had an emergency appendectomy the early morning of Election Day in 1968....... my FIRST opportunity to vote in a Presidential election was 1972. My vote proudly went for the George McGovern/Sargent Shriver ticket!!!
How different our country would have been if they had won that election!
I knew of his life and what a wonderful person he was. But, this book opened my eyes even more.
He was truly - A Good Man! Thank you for your personal remembrances, Mark!

[Teresa · Rating 5 out of 5]

A very intimate, candid glimpse of the life of Sargent Shriver and his son, Mark's struggles growing up under the Kennedy family legacy of privilege and service. Beautiful examples of Catholicism at it's best. This book struck an emotional cord with me as a Catholic and as someone who has experienced Alzheimer's with a loved one. Sargent & Eunice Shriver were a truly remarkable, inspirational couple as founders of the Peace Corp and Special Olympics - beautiful examples of service to those less fortunate. But, the enduring theme of this novel is their devotion and love for each other and joy in living under God's plan for their lives.

[Joseph J. · Rating 5 out of 5]

More than a son's loving memoir of his father-and that would be enough-this is also a son's self reflection in light of his "good" father's life and descent into Alzheimer's and death. Yet descent isn't the proper world; after reading of Sargent Shriver's life, faith and compassion for humanity, I must use the term ascent to death. Despite Mark Shriver's personal journey with his father's long battle with this wasting disease, his father's death is actually a triumph of a life very, very well lived. The phrase "a good man" is the description of his dad Mark finds from persons in all walks-right up to the funeral home attendants removing his father's body in the end. My first vote for President was in 1972 for the George McGovern-Sargent Shriver ticket. It seemed fruitless at the time, and Mark writes that his dad was no politician. But Sargent Shriver was a sadly extinct person in our current time of scandal, greed and division: Shriver was a public servant. His public service was infused with a deep Catholic faith. Mark recalls that checking into hotels his dad's first request was for a schedule of nearby daily masses. Sargent and Eunice Shriver were advocates for the mentally and physically challenged in a time and culture when such persons were put away and out of sight-although a time when the thought of a (later) Presidential candidate mocking a reporter's physical affliction would have been unbelievable. This book is a tonic for our current national mood and situation as a reminder that there are genuinely good people in the world, who see the world as a positive place in which to serve their God and fellow humanity. Persons who rather than boast and bluster, actually live their religion.

[Robyn · Rating 5 out of 5]

Incredible!! What a privelege to read this and learn about this extraordinary man! Thank you for sharing him with us Mark Shriver. "What Would Sargeant Shriver Do" would be another great measure for life.

Pres. Clinton summed it up beautifully in his eulogy, "A whole generation of us understood what President Kennedy meant by looking at Sargeant Shriver's life".

Just some of my favorite take-away's:
-"Break your mirror". Take the focus off yourself. Look less at your face and more at your neighbor's to see how you can serve them.
-Be a warrior for peace, with a heart full of grace and a soul generated by love.
-S.S. was a truly decent, generous and joyful man incessantly devoted to faith, hope, love and family.
-His abiding ambition was to give others the opportunity to hope.

-"The great man is recognized for his civic achievements. The good man can be great in that arena, too, but even greater at home, on the sidewalk, at the diner, with his grandkids, at the supermarket, at church--whatever human interaction requires integrity and compassion."

-"Without love, which really is respect for your fellow man, there can be no faith in ourselves, or in others. Without faith, there can be no hope; without hope, there's no future..."

There is just one question I am left pondering. How, on earth, did Maria fall for Arnold? huh-hmm-huh?

~Oprah's Book Club List

[Fran Johnson · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great book about a very good man. Sargent Shriver was often over shadowed by his dynamic wife or his Kennedy in-laws, however Sarge was a very talented, caring man who achieved much in his life. Like all mortals, he did grow old and he and his family had to deal with the many problems of growing old. This is a tender but totally frank story by his son. It's the story of Sarge Shriver, the man, his work, but also the story of a son and his father and how they both dealt with his aging.For all people dealing with aging parents and all parents who will soon be dealt with by their children, this is a somewhat comforting book.

[Marci · Rating 3 out of 5]

Initially I was put off by the introduction (adoring son writing about how great his dad was when alive), but as I kept reading I ended up enjoying it much more than I expected. Sargent Shriver was the founder of the Peace Corps (assigned to bring the idea of his brother in law JFK to life) and his wife, Eunice< of the Special Olympics. I think both of those organizations of are pretty magnificent so it made the reading more interesting. Shriver does sound like he was a good man and although I didn't need to know every word others said about him (I skipped over a lot of it), it was overall a pleasant read.

[Vincent · Rating 2 out of 5]

Was very excited to read more about Sargent Shriver but this book is somewhat disappointing. Very few insights. Mark is a great guy but he glosses over the early years of his childhood and does not give the reader a true sense of what Sargent was like at home.
Still worth reading just to get some new telling of the amazing contributions of this larger family.

[Nancy]

Having read a fascinating biography of Eunice Shriver Eunice: The Kennedy Who Changed the World, I was intrigued to see this book about her husband, Sargent Shriver, written by their son, Mark. The Eunice Kennedy Shriver book focuses on the Kennedy family and Eunice's work with Special Olympics. It says little about her romance and relationship with Sargent Shriver. This book gives a very intimate look at the work of Sargent Shriver, a man who almost appears to be too good to be human. I had no idea about Shriver's deep faith, abundant energy, and love for his family. Interesting, thought-provoking and entertaining.

[Rachel Aldrich Gordon · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a lovely book. I had never heard of Mark or Sargent Shriver (although I had heard of their family) and didn't know their contributions to our country and world. The author wrote with so much love for his father, and I particularly was fond of all the "mundane" ways his father showed his love--playing catch in the yard, writing daily notes. Those little things made a huge impact on Mark, and is something we should all try to emulate: do all things with love. The way the Shriver family lives out their faith was also nice to read about, and it made me long for more politicians/people in power who live life centered on God, family, and doing the right thing, versus getting votes or tarnishing another person's name. Overall this was a easy and quick read, and a feel-good/inspiring story. It was great in between heavy reads, and just what I needed!

[Jake Larson · Rating 5 out of 5]

I feel inspired to be a better man to my wife, my kids, and in my faith after reading this book, learning more about how Sargent Shiver maintained joy and peace while being an advocate for millions of people in the world. When I’ve brought up this man to friends and family, almost no one has known who he was or what organizations he founded, which is somewhat sad but also makes sense. Sad because we don’t have many examples of great men to read about or learn from, but makes sense because it wasn’t in his character to long for notary in the work he did.

My only critic of this book in particular was some of the drama/side stories about Marks own life that maybe didn’t need as much detail. But overall I really enjoyed the perspective of a son viewing his father’s life through the stories and words of others.

[Clint · Rating 3 out of 5]

Memoir of the Kennedy in-law, program-head, politician father by his third of four sons is a warm paean to a man he says throughout he wanted to know better. One-sided as one might expect in a book written by a son, it deals with none of the controversies over the War on Poverty programs his father dealt with but spends the most time on the hours he and his father spent together. The author is best and most honest in dealing with his father in his years with Alzheimer's disease, admitting the frustration a child may have over a parent's actions during their ordeal. I never got the idea the son believed he measured up to his father but felt he had done, as his father exhorted him to do, "the very best he could."

[Marty · Rating 4 out of 5]

Reading this book only reminded me of what a remarkable person Sargent Shriver was. I met “Sarge” 5 or 6 times and he was always smiling and bouncy – a force of nature. I first met him while serving with the first group of Peace Corps Volunteers in the Philippines in 1961. Subsequent meetings all were during Peace Corps events and reunions. The last time I saw Sarge was during our 40 + 1 reunion. This book, written by his youngest son, is a love song with religious overtones….. perhaps an extended eulogy. Sarge was remarkable, almost unshakeable in his optimism … It is full of upbeat advice and positive spirit.

[Ross Anderson · Rating 4 out of 5]

Helpful exemplar of how to lose at political elections but not to lose one’s soul.

I had never known how the Peace Corps or the Special Olympics were founded, or how the Shrivers were so connected to the Kennedys. Now not only do I have a better understanding, I would never have known what to ask without this memoir.

I had picked this book up as a possible resource for an after-hours boys’ club at my school, as to how to learn skills helpful for manhood. Overall, it did not disappoint. But I found there were many reasons for my own personal growth to read this book. Love people. Take action. Don't bow to peer pressure. But above all, be there for your family.

[LAMONT D · Rating 4 out of 5]

Truth be told, I do not remember knowing anything about the Shriver name and who Sargent Shriver was. So, reading the book was like filling in the many blanks of our history on some of the most important movements and projects of our time (Peace Corps, Special Olympics and the War on Poverty just to name a few). I did not know that Shriver married into the Kennedy family which brought with it much notoriety and yet an abundance of heartbreak and drama. A devout Catholic, a man totally devoted to his faith and his family along with the purpose of living his life to make others better. He is certainly worthy of a book to remember what a "Good Man" he was.

[Regencyfan93 · Rating 3 out of 5]

I was inspired in reading about Sargent Shriver faith and devotion to family.

The book got tiresome about 1/3 of the way through. After reading about the Shriver child who bullied and tried to drown the child of the family's new cook, I couldn't take much more. I appreciate the writer's honesty and would like to have learned if Sargent Shriver resolved this for the fool's family. Perhaps finding employment where the family did Not bully.

[Kat · Rating 3 out of 5]

Lovely insight into Sarge, the father rather than Sarge, the politician. Mark's descriptions of struggling with his father's Alzheimer's diagnosis definitely made me cry quite a few times - the frustration and distress at losing someone that you held in such high regard is very well conveyed and emotional.

Overall, a really nice book, don't go expecting a very in-depth biog of Sargent Shriver though if you read this, it's very much a son looking at his father's life.

[Margo · Rating 4 out of 5]

Loved this book filled with stories of a truly good man whose faith guided him in all he did. I had the pleasure of meeting him several times, once when I was serving as a Peace Corps volunteer in Kenya and he seemed as excited to meet me as I was him. He lived a life of joy and wonder as he did incredible work over years, in service of the higher ideals that seem to be lost in many of our leaders in
these tumultuous times.

[Bob Carr · Rating 4 out of 5]

If you want to restore your faith in Government read this book. If you want to restore your belief that one person can make a difference read this book. If you are a person of faith that is feeling lost read this book. There are rare people that have walked this earth that have changed the planet for the better at the most basic level of humanity. R Sargent Shriver was one of those rare people as was his spouse Eunice Kennedy Shriver.

[Maureen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Absolutely loved this book. It was written from the heart and I think about it often in terms of living a good life. A life well lived. That we are not called to be successful, but called to be faithful. This latter adjective can be whatever you need it to be, but faithful should be in the altruistic spectrum, I would think.

[Ed Button · Rating 4 out of 5]

Learned a great deal about a great man listening to this book, which covers Mark's transcendental love for his father and frames that love amidst the backdrop of familial legacy and accomplishments. A wonderful chronicling of a life well lived.

[Renee · Rating 3 out of 5]

He was a good man, and this was a pretty good read. I've thought about his dad's retort, "It's OK. You can cry; you're a Shriver," line a million times since reading it, and I love it every time I do.

[Jeff Harris · Rating 4 out of 5]

An inspiring book about a remarkable person.

[Linda Metrick · Rating 2 out of 5]

A book about a man so close to power shed very little light on the events of the time.

[Lisa · Rating 4 out of 5]

#3 of 130 books pledged to read during 2020

[Dennis Holland · Rating 5 out of 5]

I surprised myself how much I enjoyed reading this book. A lot of great lessons to be learned and a lot of our nations recent history in this book.

[Brian · Rating 3 out of 5]

I learned a lot about him that I liked like daily mass, etc.

[Anne · Rating 5 out of 5]

A beautifully moving tribute to a remarkable man. It is a testament to Sargent Shriver’s faith and decency - rare qualities in a man of his stature. I cried throughout the last 50 pages.

[Ctrcynde · Rating 5 out of 5]

Easy to read - good book.