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Twelve Days of Winter: Crime at Christmas #1-12
Twelve Days of Winter: Crime at Christmas
A collection of interlinked tales of crime and retribution laced with dark humour, set around the festive season – from the No. 1 bestseller Stuart MacBride
On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me…Twelve days, twelve stories.
Meet Fat Billy Partridge, possibly the worst cat-burglar ever; newbie drug-dealer Brian, who probably shouldn’t be taking advantage of the job’s fringe benefits; Philippe, a chef with anger-management issues and lots of very sharp knives; Mr Unwin, the undertaker with the golden touch; and Lord Peter Forsyth-Leven, MSP, learning the hard way that having it all means you’ve got so much more to lose…
Thieves, drug dealers, lap-dancers, gangsters and even the odd good guy populate these twelve interlinked tales of crime and retribution set around the festive season.
On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me…Twelve days, twelve stories.
Meet Fat Billy Partridge, possibly the worst cat-burglar ever; newbie drug-dealer Brian, who probably shouldn’t be taking advantage of the job’s fringe benefits; Philippe, a chef with anger-management issues and lots of very sharp knives; Mr Unwin, the undertaker with the golden touch; and Lord Peter Forsyth-Leven, MSP, learning the hard way that having it all means you’ve got so much more to lose…
Thieves, drug dealers, lap-dancers, gangsters and even the odd good guy populate these twelve interlinked tales of crime and retribution set around the festive season.
128 pages, Kindle Edition
First published January 1, 2011
115 people are currently reading
671 people want to read
About the author
Stuart MacBride
88 books2,737 followersAka Stuart B. MacBride
The life and times of a bearded write-ist.
Stuart MacBride (that's me) was born in Dumbarton -- which is Glasgow as far as I'm concerned -- moving up to Aberdeen at the tender age of two, when fashions were questionable. Nothing much happened for years and years and years: learned to play the recorder, then forgot how when they changed from little coloured dots to proper musical notes (why the hell couldn't they have taught us the notes in the first bloody place? I could have been performing my earth-shattering rendition of 'Three Blind Mice' at the Albert Hall by now!); appeared in some bizarre World War Two musical production; did my best to avoid eating haggis and generally ran about the place a lot.
Next up was an elongated spell in Westhill -- a small suburb seven miles west of Aberdeen -- where I embarked upon a mediocre academic career, hindered by a complete inability to spell and an attention span the length of a gnat's doodad.
And so to UNIVERSITY, far too young, naive and stupid to be away from the family home, sharing a subterranean flat in one of the seedier bits of Edinburgh with a mad Irishman, and four other bizarre individuals. The highlight of walking to the art school in the mornings (yes: we were students, but we still did mornings) was trying not to tread in the fresh bloodstains outside our front door, and dodging the undercover CID officers trying to buy drugs. Lovely place.
But university and I did not see eye to eye, so off I went to work offshore. Like many all-male environments, working offshore was the intellectual equivalent of Animal House, only without the clever bits. Swearing, smoking, eating, more swearing, pornography, swearing, drinking endless plastic cups of tea... and did I mention the swearing? But it was more money than I'd seen in my life! There's something about being handed a wadge of cash as you clamber off the minibus from the heliport, having spent the last two weeks offshore and the last two hours in an orange, rubber romper suit / body bag, then blowing most of it in the pubs and clubs of Aberdeen. And being young enough to get away without a hangover.
Then came a spell of working for myself as a graphic designer, which went the way of all flesh and into the heady world of studio management for a nation-wide marketing company. Then some more freelance design work, a handful of voiceovers for local radio and video production companies and a bash at being an actor (with a small 'a'), giving it up when it became clear there was no way I was ever going to be good enough to earn a decent living.
It was about this time I fell into bad company -- a blonde from Fife who conned me into marrying her -- and started producing websites for a friend's fledgling Internet company. From there it was a roller coaster ride (in that it made a lot of people feel decidedly unwell) from web designer to web manager, lead programmer, team lead and other assorted technical bollocks with three different companies, eventually ending up as a project manager for a global IT company.
But there was always the writing (well, that's not true, the writing only started two chapters above this one). I fell victim to that most dreadful of things: peer pressure. Two friends were writing novels and I thought, 'why not? I could do that'.
Took a few years though...
The life and times of a bearded write-ist.
Stuart MacBride (that's me) was born in Dumbarton -- which is Glasgow as far as I'm concerned -- moving up to Aberdeen at the tender age of two, when fashions were questionable. Nothing much happened for years and years and years: learned to play the recorder, then forgot how when they changed from little coloured dots to proper musical notes (why the hell couldn't they have taught us the notes in the first bloody place? I could have been performing my earth-shattering rendition of 'Three Blind Mice' at the Albert Hall by now!); appeared in some bizarre World War Two musical production; did my best to avoid eating haggis and generally ran about the place a lot.
Next up was an elongated spell in Westhill -- a small suburb seven miles west of Aberdeen -- where I embarked upon a mediocre academic career, hindered by a complete inability to spell and an attention span the length of a gnat's doodad.
And so to UNIVERSITY, far too young, naive and stupid to be away from the family home, sharing a subterranean flat in one of the seedier bits of Edinburgh with a mad Irishman, and four other bizarre individuals. The highlight of walking to the art school in the mornings (yes: we were students, but we still did mornings) was trying not to tread in the fresh bloodstains outside our front door, and dodging the undercover CID officers trying to buy drugs. Lovely place.
But university and I did not see eye to eye, so off I went to work offshore. Like many all-male environments, working offshore was the intellectual equivalent of Animal House, only without the clever bits. Swearing, smoking, eating, more swearing, pornography, swearing, drinking endless plastic cups of tea... and did I mention the swearing? But it was more money than I'd seen in my life! There's something about being handed a wadge of cash as you clamber off the minibus from the heliport, having spent the last two weeks offshore and the last two hours in an orange, rubber romper suit / body bag, then blowing most of it in the pubs and clubs of Aberdeen. And being young enough to get away without a hangover.
Then came a spell of working for myself as a graphic designer, which went the way of all flesh and into the heady world of studio management for a nation-wide marketing company. Then some more freelance design work, a handful of voiceovers for local radio and video production companies and a bash at being an actor (with a small 'a'), giving it up when it became clear there was no way I was ever going to be good enough to earn a decent living.
It was about this time I fell into bad company -- a blonde from Fife who conned me into marrying her -- and started producing websites for a friend's fledgling Internet company. From there it was a roller coaster ride (in that it made a lot of people feel decidedly unwell) from web designer to web manager, lead programmer, team lead and other assorted technical bollocks with three different companies, eventually ending up as a project manager for a global IT company.
But there was always the writing (well, that's not true, the writing only started two chapters above this one). I fell victim to that most dreadful of things: peer pressure. Two friends were writing novels and I thought, 'why not? I could do that'.
Took a few years though...
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December 14, 2018
ABOUT THIS BOOK: On the First Day of Christmas…
Twelve Days, twelve stories
Billy Partridge wasn’t really cut out to be a cat burglar, but Dillon hadn’t really given him any option. It was either do the job, or come up with thirteen grand by Thursday … or have both his legs shattered. And the leg thing didn’t even write off what he and Twitch owed Dillon, just deferred the interest. Come the 15th of January there’d still be thirteen thousand to pay.
Then there’s newbie after-school drug-dealer Brian, who probably shouldn’t be taking advantage of the job’s fringe benefits; Philippe, a chef with anger-management issues and a lot of very sharp knives; Mr Unwin, the undertaker with the golden touch; and Lord Peter Forsythe-Leven, MSP, learning the hard way that having it all just means you’ve got so much more to lose…
Twelve short stories, all set in Oldcastle, all taking their twisted inspiration from the classical Christmas song. Murder, betrayal, drugs, sex, and tinsel.
MY THOUGHTS: Although this is definitely not my favorite by Stuart MacBride, it is still well worth reading. It is blackly humorous, seedy Scottish Noir. Not one character has a redeemable feature. It is filled with criminals, pedophiles, and other generally unsavory, detestable characters. Just my sort of Christmas book!
The stories are all linked together, although this is not immediately obvious, by the various characters and their greedy machinations. The first story is by far the best and sets the tone for the following eleven tales.
🎅🎅🎅.5
THE AUTHOR: Stuart MacBride (that's me) was born in Dumbarton -- which is Glasgow as far as I'm concerned -- moving up to Aberdeen at the tender age of two, when fashions were questionable. Nothing much happened for years and years and years: learned to play the recorder, then forgot how when they changed from little coloured dots to proper musical notes (why the hell couldn't they have taught us the notes in the first bloody place? I could have been performing my earth-shattering rendition of 'Three Blind Mice' at the Albert Hall by now!); appeared in some bizarre World War Two musical production; did my best to avoid eating haggis and generally ran about the place a lot.
Next up was an elongated spell in Westhill -- a small suburb seven miles west of Aberdeen -- where I embarked upon a mediocre academic career, hindered by a complete inability to spell and an attention span the length of a gnat's doodad.
And so to UNIVERSITY, far too young, naive and stupid to be away from the family home, sharing a subterranean flat in one of the seedier bits of Edinburgh with a mad Irishman, and four other bizarre individuals. The highlight of walking to the art school in the mornings (yes: we were students, but we still did mornings) was trying not to tread in the fresh bloodstains outside our front door, and dodging the undercover CID officers trying to buy drugs. Lovely place.
But university and I did not see eye to eye, so off I went to work offshore. Like many all-male environments, working offshore was the intellectual equivalent of Animal House, only without the clever bits. Swearing, smoking, eating, more swearing, pornography, swearing, drinking endless plastic cups of tea... and did I mention the swearing? But it was more money than I'd seen in my life! There's something about being handed a wadge of cash as you clamber off the minibus from the heliport, having spent the last two weeks offshore and the last two hours in an orange, rubber romper suit / body bag, then blowing most of it in the pubs and clubs of Aberdeen. And being young enough to get away without a hangover.
Then came a spell of working for myself as a graphic designer, which went the way of all flesh and into the heady world of studio management for a nation-wide marketing company. Then some more freelance design work, a handful of voiceovers for local radio and video production companies and a bash at being an actor (with a small 'a'), giving it up when it became clear there was no way I was ever going to be good enough to earn a decent living.
It was about this time I fell into bad company -- a blonde from Fife who conned me into marrying her -- and started producing websites for a friend's fledgling Internet company. From there it was a roller coaster ride (in that it made a lot of people feel decidedly unwell) from web designer to web manager, lead programmer, team lead and other assorted technical bollocks with three different companies, eventually ending up as a project manager for a global IT company.
But there was always the writing (well, that's not true, the writing only started two chapters above this one). I fell victim to that most dreadful of things: peer pressure. Two friends were writing novels and I thought, 'why not? I could do that'.
Took a few years though...
DISCLOSURE: I listened to the audiobook of Twelve Days of Winter: Crime at Christmas, by Stuart MacBride, narrated by Ian Hanmore, published by HarperCollins Publishers, via OverDrive. All opinions expressed in this review are entirely my own personal opinions.
Please refer to my Goodreads.com profile page or the about page on sandysbookaday.wordpress.com for an explanation of my rating system. This review and others are also published on my blog sandysbookaday.wordpress.com https://sandysbookaday.wordpress.com/...
Twelve Days, twelve stories
Billy Partridge wasn’t really cut out to be a cat burglar, but Dillon hadn’t really given him any option. It was either do the job, or come up with thirteen grand by Thursday … or have both his legs shattered. And the leg thing didn’t even write off what he and Twitch owed Dillon, just deferred the interest. Come the 15th of January there’d still be thirteen thousand to pay.
Then there’s newbie after-school drug-dealer Brian, who probably shouldn’t be taking advantage of the job’s fringe benefits; Philippe, a chef with anger-management issues and a lot of very sharp knives; Mr Unwin, the undertaker with the golden touch; and Lord Peter Forsythe-Leven, MSP, learning the hard way that having it all just means you’ve got so much more to lose…
Twelve short stories, all set in Oldcastle, all taking their twisted inspiration from the classical Christmas song. Murder, betrayal, drugs, sex, and tinsel.
MY THOUGHTS: Although this is definitely not my favorite by Stuart MacBride, it is still well worth reading. It is blackly humorous, seedy Scottish Noir. Not one character has a redeemable feature. It is filled with criminals, pedophiles, and other generally unsavory, detestable characters. Just my sort of Christmas book!
The stories are all linked together, although this is not immediately obvious, by the various characters and their greedy machinations. The first story is by far the best and sets the tone for the following eleven tales.
🎅🎅🎅.5
THE AUTHOR: Stuart MacBride (that's me) was born in Dumbarton -- which is Glasgow as far as I'm concerned -- moving up to Aberdeen at the tender age of two, when fashions were questionable. Nothing much happened for years and years and years: learned to play the recorder, then forgot how when they changed from little coloured dots to proper musical notes (why the hell couldn't they have taught us the notes in the first bloody place? I could have been performing my earth-shattering rendition of 'Three Blind Mice' at the Albert Hall by now!); appeared in some bizarre World War Two musical production; did my best to avoid eating haggis and generally ran about the place a lot.
Next up was an elongated spell in Westhill -- a small suburb seven miles west of Aberdeen -- where I embarked upon a mediocre academic career, hindered by a complete inability to spell and an attention span the length of a gnat's doodad.
And so to UNIVERSITY, far too young, naive and stupid to be away from the family home, sharing a subterranean flat in one of the seedier bits of Edinburgh with a mad Irishman, and four other bizarre individuals. The highlight of walking to the art school in the mornings (yes: we were students, but we still did mornings) was trying not to tread in the fresh bloodstains outside our front door, and dodging the undercover CID officers trying to buy drugs. Lovely place.
But university and I did not see eye to eye, so off I went to work offshore. Like many all-male environments, working offshore was the intellectual equivalent of Animal House, only without the clever bits. Swearing, smoking, eating, more swearing, pornography, swearing, drinking endless plastic cups of tea... and did I mention the swearing? But it was more money than I'd seen in my life! There's something about being handed a wadge of cash as you clamber off the minibus from the heliport, having spent the last two weeks offshore and the last two hours in an orange, rubber romper suit / body bag, then blowing most of it in the pubs and clubs of Aberdeen. And being young enough to get away without a hangover.
Then came a spell of working for myself as a graphic designer, which went the way of all flesh and into the heady world of studio management for a nation-wide marketing company. Then some more freelance design work, a handful of voiceovers for local radio and video production companies and a bash at being an actor (with a small 'a'), giving it up when it became clear there was no way I was ever going to be good enough to earn a decent living.
It was about this time I fell into bad company -- a blonde from Fife who conned me into marrying her -- and started producing websites for a friend's fledgling Internet company. From there it was a roller coaster ride (in that it made a lot of people feel decidedly unwell) from web designer to web manager, lead programmer, team lead and other assorted technical bollocks with three different companies, eventually ending up as a project manager for a global IT company.
But there was always the writing (well, that's not true, the writing only started two chapters above this one). I fell victim to that most dreadful of things: peer pressure. Two friends were writing novels and I thought, 'why not? I could do that'.
Took a few years though...
DISCLOSURE: I listened to the audiobook of Twelve Days of Winter: Crime at Christmas, by Stuart MacBride, narrated by Ian Hanmore, published by HarperCollins Publishers, via OverDrive. All opinions expressed in this review are entirely my own personal opinions.
Please refer to my Goodreads.com profile page or the about page on sandysbookaday.wordpress.com for an explanation of my rating system. This review and others are also published on my blog sandysbookaday.wordpress.com https://sandysbookaday.wordpress.com/...
November 25, 2020
You get a good idea about an author ofter from their short stories. Reading twelve days of winter makes me believe I’d like almost anything Stuart MacBride may write in the crime thriller genre.
Apart from the time of year when these stories were set, leading up to Christmas, there is nothing particularly festive in the content. They are dark, quite macabre and with a hint of gallows humour. Packed full like the best stockings with the harsh realities of crime in broken communities.
I especially liked the inventiveness of hanging each story around the seasonal twelve days of Christmas classic.
I was hooked from the first tale of bungling burglars and the genius introduction of a Monet painting.
The same location is used throughout the book, but each story is a self contained episode. Yet the same characters come and go, seemingly, where crime is concerned a handful of nefarious individuals always crop up. However, the author finds criminal behaviour across different areas and social standing where circumstances and or fate influence events.
Definitely an 18+ certificate but nothing too shocking for any adult reader. Originally realised in 2011 the pieces do not seem dated or reworked themes. I found the linkage in this set of twelve short stories a great advent adventure and would recommend it as an obvious gift at this festive time.
The author deserves great credit for his skill and management of a story and I will look with interest at other books by him.
Apart from the time of year when these stories were set, leading up to Christmas, there is nothing particularly festive in the content. They are dark, quite macabre and with a hint of gallows humour. Packed full like the best stockings with the harsh realities of crime in broken communities.
I especially liked the inventiveness of hanging each story around the seasonal twelve days of Christmas classic.
I was hooked from the first tale of bungling burglars and the genius introduction of a Monet painting.
The same location is used throughout the book, but each story is a self contained episode. Yet the same characters come and go, seemingly, where crime is concerned a handful of nefarious individuals always crop up. However, the author finds criminal behaviour across different areas and social standing where circumstances and or fate influence events.
Definitely an 18+ certificate but nothing too shocking for any adult reader. Originally realised in 2011 the pieces do not seem dated or reworked themes. I found the linkage in this set of twelve short stories a great advent adventure and would recommend it as an obvious gift at this festive time.
The author deserves great credit for his skill and management of a story and I will look with interest at other books by him.
April 4, 2020
Ottimo libro. Dodici piacevoli racconti per passare questi momenti in casa dovuti alla Quarantena. Un libro che si legge velocemente.
July 10, 2021
3.5 stars
November 13, 2023
TWELVE DAYS OF WINTER: CRIME AT CHRISTMAS is one book that should be read before Christmas. Given that it’s a Stuart MacBride book, you know that it’s not going to be the usual cheerful Christmas book. It’s set in Oldcastle, after all. And Oldcastle is where MacBride’s most gruesome stories are located. The book contains 12 short stories. I think that initially the stories were published as singles, and for that reason, it didn’t get the usual high MacBride ratings. It is better to read them all in one gulp; the total length for the set is short, less than half the length of a normal novel, and the kindle copy costs only 99 (Canadian) cents.
Each story is a mixture of MacBride’s comedy and horror, but I was halfway through the book before I realized that several of them were interlinked together to form a truly hilarious/horrifying saga.
Plus, each story, those that are part of the interlinking tale, and even those that are singles, end with a wallop.
The stories, in order, are:
1: A Partridge in a Pear Tree. Fat Billy Partridge joins his friend Twitch in an attempt to steal a painting entitled “The Pear Tree”, a chore he has to carry out for Dillon Black, to whom he owes money. Twitch is more interested in heisting a computer. Billy gets tangled trying to escape. Ending:
White lights sparkled all around him, the bulbs breaking under his fingers, slashing his skin, leaving it slick with blood as he twisted and struggled.
And struggled.
And struggled.
And…
The last thing he saw before everything went black was the pear tree at sunset, hanging in an oak, lit by Christmas lights. Still beautiful.
2. Turtle Doves . Christmas Eve in the Oldcastle City Mortuary and Sandra is working late because two suicides have just arrived. One has AIDS. While the bodies are being brought in, Sandra is trying to contact Kevin for a late-night hookup because her husband, Ewan, is working late, but she just keeps getting Kevin’s message manager. Last sentence:
Men were such bastards.
3. French Hens. Philippe, a cook, kills his drug supplier and then has the problem of getting rid of his body. That evening, Martin White, food reviewer, comes to the restaurant. Last sentence:
With a small smile, Philippe unrolled his knives and started carving.
4. Calling Birds. Tracy works at a call centre under Mr. Aziz, the manager. The call centre is owned by Dillon Black. She needs to earn more money, so her co-workers help her learn the trade of selling sex over the phone. She’s doing well until she gets a call from someone whose voice she recognizes. Last sentence:
Maybe selling double glazing isn’t such a bad job after all.
5. Gold Rings . Life in a funeral home on Christmas Eve. Last sentence:
Contact adhesive covers a multitude of sins.
6. Geese a Laying. Val Macintyre, prison officer, supervises Kathy Geddes, an inmate who has recently given birth. Val feels that Geddes doesn’t deserve to have another baby—she drinks, smokes, does drugs, and eats unhealthy food. Val and her husband, Norman, have been trying for a baby, but Val can’t get pregnant. Val makes a deal with Geddes to buy her newborn. But at the last moment, Geddes decides to double the price. Ending:
’See,’ Val beamed, more content than she’d ever been in her whole life, ‘I told you it would work,’
‘Yes. Yes you did.’ Norman leaned over kissed her, then turned the car around and drove them home.
7. Swans a Swimming. James Kirkhill, swimming coach and paedophile, kills Danielle while she is swimming in the lake because Danielle wants him to marry her. But Danielle kept a diary. Last sentence:
There will always be more where she came from.
8. Maids a Milking. Brian is filling telephone boxes with flyers advertising Mr. Aziz’s soft-core pornography call centre, when Big Johnny grabs him and dangles him from a bridge over a river. Brian, has previously worked selling Marijuana for Dillon Black, but agrees to sell heroin for Big Johnny. Then Brian trades his last heroin wrapper for a sexual favour. To escape being dropped from the bridge, Brian blames Cammy, and Big Johnny tortures Cammy instead. Ending:
Because he had a pretty good idea what Big Johnny would do if he found out Brian had lied to him. And stolen from him.
And he’d rather feel guilty than dead.
9. Ladies Dancing. Twitch (from the first story) sits at a bar watching Kayleigh, a stripper. Kayleigh invites him for a private dance. Twitch rapes Kayleigh and then tries to keep Dillan Black from killing him by trading the computer he stole in the first story. Black tells Kayleigh she can save Twitch’s life, or not. It’s up to her. Ending:
Kayleigh watches as the bag inflates and deflates over Andy ‘Twich’ McKay’s head.
Out… in… out… in…
She bites her bottom lip and tries not to cry.
In…In…In…In…
A siren, high and thin, flashing past on the main road.
Out…
Still.
Kayleigh starts to sob.
10. Lords a Leaping. Lord Peter Forsyth-Leven belongs to the same paedophile group as James Kirkhill, who has been arrested. Kirkhill is confessing. Plus, the computer that Twich stole held information about Lord Peter and the other members of the paedophile group. Lord Peter is forced to give “The Pear Tree” painting to Dillon Black. Last sentence:
Peter took off his glasses, closed his eyes and stepped quietly off of the battlements.
11. Pipers Piping. Santa Clause (Stephen) is accidentally killed in a department store by a man who thought his wife, Liz, was cheating on him with Stephen. Greg, the Santa elf watches. Ending:
Thank Christ he’d exaggerated his job title when he told her about his new Christmas gig. After all: who wanted to shag an elf?
12. Drummers Drumming. PC Ewan Richardson is on a raid to Dillon Black’s house, but Black is missing. “The Pear Tree” painting from Story 1 has also disappeared, leaving only a nail hanging on the wall. (Ewan is Sandra’s husband from story 2, so this final story interlinks with numbers 1, 2, 7, 9, and 10.) A bomb goes off, killing everyone but Ewan. Ending:
He should be dead now—quick and painless—and Sandra would get his death in service benefits, and his pension. A big chunk of money to look after her and little Emma. To say sorry. For everything.
Now all she’d get was the £3,000 Dillion Black had paid him for the warning about this morning’s raid.
Life was so unfair.
And, to end this review, my favourite quote (from ‘Ladies Dancing’):
Maybe it’s time to get out of town? Give Oldcastle the heave Ho and bugger of somewhere warmer and safer. Like Dundee, or Perth, or Hell.
Five stars all the way. It only takes a few hours to read the whole book of 12 stories.
Each story is a mixture of MacBride’s comedy and horror, but I was halfway through the book before I realized that several of them were interlinked together to form a truly hilarious/horrifying saga.
Plus, each story, those that are part of the interlinking tale, and even those that are singles, end with a wallop.
The stories, in order, are:
1: A Partridge in a Pear Tree. Fat Billy Partridge joins his friend Twitch in an attempt to steal a painting entitled “The Pear Tree”, a chore he has to carry out for Dillon Black, to whom he owes money. Twitch is more interested in heisting a computer. Billy gets tangled trying to escape. Ending:
White lights sparkled all around him, the bulbs breaking under his fingers, slashing his skin, leaving it slick with blood as he twisted and struggled.
And struggled.
And struggled.
And…
The last thing he saw before everything went black was the pear tree at sunset, hanging in an oak, lit by Christmas lights. Still beautiful.
2. Turtle Doves . Christmas Eve in the Oldcastle City Mortuary and Sandra is working late because two suicides have just arrived. One has AIDS. While the bodies are being brought in, Sandra is trying to contact Kevin for a late-night hookup because her husband, Ewan, is working late, but she just keeps getting Kevin’s message manager. Last sentence:
Men were such bastards.
3. French Hens. Philippe, a cook, kills his drug supplier and then has the problem of getting rid of his body. That evening, Martin White, food reviewer, comes to the restaurant. Last sentence:
With a small smile, Philippe unrolled his knives and started carving.
4. Calling Birds. Tracy works at a call centre under Mr. Aziz, the manager. The call centre is owned by Dillon Black. She needs to earn more money, so her co-workers help her learn the trade of selling sex over the phone. She’s doing well until she gets a call from someone whose voice she recognizes. Last sentence:
Maybe selling double glazing isn’t such a bad job after all.
5. Gold Rings . Life in a funeral home on Christmas Eve. Last sentence:
Contact adhesive covers a multitude of sins.
6. Geese a Laying. Val Macintyre, prison officer, supervises Kathy Geddes, an inmate who has recently given birth. Val feels that Geddes doesn’t deserve to have another baby—she drinks, smokes, does drugs, and eats unhealthy food. Val and her husband, Norman, have been trying for a baby, but Val can’t get pregnant. Val makes a deal with Geddes to buy her newborn. But at the last moment, Geddes decides to double the price. Ending:
’See,’ Val beamed, more content than she’d ever been in her whole life, ‘I told you it would work,’
‘Yes. Yes you did.’ Norman leaned over kissed her, then turned the car around and drove them home.
7. Swans a Swimming. James Kirkhill, swimming coach and paedophile, kills Danielle while she is swimming in the lake because Danielle wants him to marry her. But Danielle kept a diary. Last sentence:
There will always be more where she came from.
8. Maids a Milking. Brian is filling telephone boxes with flyers advertising Mr. Aziz’s soft-core pornography call centre, when Big Johnny grabs him and dangles him from a bridge over a river. Brian, has previously worked selling Marijuana for Dillon Black, but agrees to sell heroin for Big Johnny. Then Brian trades his last heroin wrapper for a sexual favour. To escape being dropped from the bridge, Brian blames Cammy, and Big Johnny tortures Cammy instead. Ending:
Because he had a pretty good idea what Big Johnny would do if he found out Brian had lied to him. And stolen from him.
And he’d rather feel guilty than dead.
9. Ladies Dancing. Twitch (from the first story) sits at a bar watching Kayleigh, a stripper. Kayleigh invites him for a private dance. Twitch rapes Kayleigh and then tries to keep Dillan Black from killing him by trading the computer he stole in the first story. Black tells Kayleigh she can save Twitch’s life, or not. It’s up to her. Ending:
Kayleigh watches as the bag inflates and deflates over Andy ‘Twich’ McKay’s head.
Out… in… out… in…
She bites her bottom lip and tries not to cry.
In…In…In…In…
A siren, high and thin, flashing past on the main road.
Out…
Still.
Kayleigh starts to sob.
10. Lords a Leaping. Lord Peter Forsyth-Leven belongs to the same paedophile group as James Kirkhill, who has been arrested. Kirkhill is confessing. Plus, the computer that Twich stole held information about Lord Peter and the other members of the paedophile group. Lord Peter is forced to give “The Pear Tree” painting to Dillon Black. Last sentence:
Peter took off his glasses, closed his eyes and stepped quietly off of the battlements.
11. Pipers Piping. Santa Clause (Stephen) is accidentally killed in a department store by a man who thought his wife, Liz, was cheating on him with Stephen. Greg, the Santa elf watches. Ending:
Thank Christ he’d exaggerated his job title when he told her about his new Christmas gig. After all: who wanted to shag an elf?
12. Drummers Drumming. PC Ewan Richardson is on a raid to Dillon Black’s house, but Black is missing. “The Pear Tree” painting from Story 1 has also disappeared, leaving only a nail hanging on the wall. (Ewan is Sandra’s husband from story 2, so this final story interlinks with numbers 1, 2, 7, 9, and 10.) A bomb goes off, killing everyone but Ewan. Ending:
He should be dead now—quick and painless—and Sandra would get his death in service benefits, and his pension. A big chunk of money to look after her and little Emma. To say sorry. For everything.
Now all she’d get was the £3,000 Dillion Black had paid him for the warning about this morning’s raid.
Life was so unfair.
And, to end this review, my favourite quote (from ‘Ladies Dancing’):
Maybe it’s time to get out of town? Give Oldcastle the heave Ho and bugger of somewhere warmer and safer. Like Dundee, or Perth, or Hell.
Five stars all the way. It only takes a few hours to read the whole book of 12 stories.
September 3, 2024
Yes, I know it's not Christmas, but I was never going to wait to read this offering by one of my favourite authors.
The book consists of twelve vignettes, with characters often recurring in separate pieces. There are several twists, and these are very cleverly orchestrated.
I highly recommend this book, even if you do not read it at Christmas!
The book consists of twelve vignettes, with characters often recurring in separate pieces. There are several twists, and these are very cleverly orchestrated.
I highly recommend this book, even if you do not read it at Christmas!
September 2, 2022
read in one sitting, 12 short interconnected stories that fall into the crime/thriller genre.
honestly this was so good each and every story had me in shock, you could not guess where the end would go for every story. and the last sentence of each was just mind blowing, the plot twists were so intense to read and this was simply and well written
honestly this was so good each and every story had me in shock, you could not guess where the end would go for every story. and the last sentence of each was just mind blowing, the plot twists were so intense to read and this was simply and well written
December 2, 2015
Okay, so the premise is somewhat original: twelve short stories interwoven, all with titles based on the "Twelve Days of Christmas" song. Plus, Stuart MacBride writing. What could go wrong?
The writing, as expected, is top-notch. I liked how the stories tied together. But this whole anthology left me feeling... grimy. There's nothing at all redeemable or uplifting about the entire venture. There is not one single likeable character; everyone is "bad", out for their own gain at the expense of the people around them. The only thing "Christmas-y" about it is that it's set around Christmas time.
Not at all what I was expecting, and I was really disappointed with this one. Not recommended.
The writing, as expected, is top-notch. I liked how the stories tied together. But this whole anthology left me feeling... grimy. There's nothing at all redeemable or uplifting about the entire venture. There is not one single likeable character; everyone is "bad", out for their own gain at the expense of the people around them. The only thing "Christmas-y" about it is that it's set around Christmas time.
Not at all what I was expecting, and I was really disappointed with this one. Not recommended.
December 20, 2021
Twelve Days of Winter: Crime at Christmas
Una lettura natalizia alternativa. Una serie di brevi racconti thriller autoconclusivi ma genialmente collegati l’uno all’altro (i dodici racconti sono stati pubblicati anche singolarmente con il titolo Crimini di Natale).
Il bello è che, nonostante il genere truce, c’è più atmosfera natalizia in alcuni di questi racconti, che in certi romanzi rosa specializzati nel genere.
Mi è piaciuto anche perché a Natale non ci sono solo storie smielate.
Una lettura natalizia alternativa. Una serie di brevi racconti thriller autoconclusivi ma genialmente collegati l’uno all’altro (i dodici racconti sono stati pubblicati anche singolarmente con il titolo Crimini di Natale).
Il bello è che, nonostante il genere truce, c’è più atmosfera natalizia in alcuni di questi racconti, che in certi romanzi rosa specializzati nel genere.
Mi è piaciuto anche perché a Natale non ci sono solo storie smielate.
December 31, 2020
12 (very) short stories which can be labelled as extreme Tartan Noir and definitely not suitable for fans of cosy mysteries. Stuart MacBride laces these Christmas tales with twisted dark humour and some characters you definitely wouldn't want to meet on a dark winter's night.
December 9, 2021
12 short interconnected stories in and around Oldcastle. Each of them is loosely themed around the twelve days of Christmas with some association to the day in question.
An interesting collection and a good introduction to Stuart MacBride's work. Short and to the point so I'm interested enough to seek out one of the authors main books in the Oldcastle series.
An interesting collection and a good introduction to Stuart MacBride's work. Short and to the point so I'm interested enough to seek out one of the authors main books in the Oldcastle series.
November 3, 2018
I’ve had Stuart MacBride’s Twelve Days of Winter sitting on my Kindle for a couple of years now, and each year around Christmas I tell myself to dive in and give it a read. I constantly find myself caught up in other books, though, and by the time I get around to it Christmas is already over. Thus, I decided I would read it early this year. It may only be the start of November, and I’m very much someone who believes such a date is too early for festivities, but I wanted to make sure I was able to read it this year.
Twelve Days of Winter provides us with twelve short stories that link together to give us a gritty tale told in the days leading up to Christmas. Some of the stories are better than others, but all have the usual Stuart MacBride darkness thrown in to keep us interested in reading more.
If I’m being honest, my ratings for these stories vary. I read them back-to-back and as a whole had an almost four-star experience (so close that I had to round my rating up), but individually we have three-star, three-point-five-star, and four-star ratings. Some were more enjoyable than others, and if you read them alone they are simply decent reads. It’s when you read them together that the best effect is had, giving us something that ties together in a great way.
Although Twelve Days of Winter will never be labelled my favourite Stuart MacBride read, it certain kept me hooked throughout.
Twelve Days of Winter provides us with twelve short stories that link together to give us a gritty tale told in the days leading up to Christmas. Some of the stories are better than others, but all have the usual Stuart MacBride darkness thrown in to keep us interested in reading more.
If I’m being honest, my ratings for these stories vary. I read them back-to-back and as a whole had an almost four-star experience (so close that I had to round my rating up), but individually we have three-star, three-point-five-star, and four-star ratings. Some were more enjoyable than others, and if you read them alone they are simply decent reads. It’s when you read them together that the best effect is had, giving us something that ties together in a great way.
Although Twelve Days of Winter will never be labelled my favourite Stuart MacBride read, it certain kept me hooked throughout.
July 9, 2019
I was recently given a whole bunch of Stuart MacBride books (much to my delight) not having read this author before. However, I was missing the very first in the series, Cold Granite. While I was waiting for this to arrive, I bought the short story collection to read on Kindle to get an idea of the style of writing.
I enjoyed these stories. They were fast, gritty and with dark humour that made me laugh from time to time. I enjoyed reading them despite them being themed around the twelve days of Christmas and it currently being May! They weren't the best I've ever read, however, did they put me off reading the books I've been given. Not at all. I'm looking forward to more dark and gritty stories with a sharp sense of humour thrown in for good measure.
I enjoyed these stories. They were fast, gritty and with dark humour that made me laugh from time to time. I enjoyed reading them despite them being themed around the twelve days of Christmas and it currently being May! They weren't the best I've ever read, however, did they put me off reading the books I've been given. Not at all. I'm looking forward to more dark and gritty stories with a sharp sense of humour thrown in for good measure.
February 9, 2021
A gruesome series of 12 short stories by one of my favourite authors.
Some good, some bad but on the whole a quick, sometimes interwoven set of crime-based narratives set amid a Scottish winter.
A 50/50 outcome for me of one of the trickier genres.
Some good, some bad but on the whole a quick, sometimes interwoven set of crime-based narratives set amid a Scottish winter.
A 50/50 outcome for me of one of the trickier genres.
October 3, 2017
This one did nothing for me. Set in NE Scotland's seamier side and based on the "12 Days of Christmas" I gave it away after #4. Quirky at best. Hope his other works are better.
December 30, 2024
The murders on each Christmas story are brutal, the interconnected stories are full of desolation, despair and humor but somehow in the fictional Oldcastle, revenge and murder is expected and these narratives work perfectly during the holidays. MacBride bring in these twelve tales his usual dark sense of humor, a great dose of wit not to mention his excellent writing.
If you are a fan (like me) of this author and do not watch “It’s a Wonderful Life” religiously during Christmas then during this festive season, this collection of short stories will be a great read for you.
I will never hear this song again without smiling remembering the backstories!
If you are a fan (like me) of this author and do not watch “It’s a Wonderful Life” religiously during Christmas then during this festive season, this collection of short stories will be a great read for you.
I will never hear this song again without smiling remembering the backstories!
March 7, 2024
It's been a little while since I read any Stuart Macbride, so I'm not sure whether finding this a bit OTT is my not being used to it, or just the nature of the beast with short stories given less time to develop. As is was, I enjoyed this but found it a touch excessively bleak - the usual humour squeezed aside a little by the sheer amount of wham bam violent action and dark subjects.
December 6, 2020
Definitely not a feel good Christmas book. But very much a Macbride book.
This is set in Stuart Macbride's fictional town of Oldcastle that has been the setting for his two (soon to be three at the time of writing) Ash Henderson novels. I'm not sure whether the short stories or the Ash Henderson books came first but all are much more violent than his Logan Macrae books.
The concept for the book is the Twelve days of Christmas where each verse of the song is a loose idea for a short story. What surprised me was that the stories are connected in some way, how and why isn't always apparent immediately but the more you read the more links you see.
As I said this isn't a feel good Christmas book. There aren't any characters with redeemable qualities, at all, seriously almost everybody is the most vile and villainous scum you can imagine, and it's incredibly violent. You could actually argue that it's not a Christmas book at all but just a collection of twelve stories that are set at Christmas.
Those who only read the Logan Macrae series won't enjoy this. It actually feels like Macbride wants to try out the more horrendous acts that he probably needs to tone down slightly if he sets it in Aberdeen. Fans of his work in general should give it a go. I've said for a while now that the phrase "dark and gritty" was invented for him and these stories emphasise this. It's not one I'll personally return to every December as I'd have liked to see a protagonist type character introduced to balance out all the horrible things that take place but I'm glad I read it.
This is set in Stuart Macbride's fictional town of Oldcastle that has been the setting for his two (soon to be three at the time of writing) Ash Henderson novels. I'm not sure whether the short stories or the Ash Henderson books came first but all are much more violent than his Logan Macrae books.
The concept for the book is the Twelve days of Christmas where each verse of the song is a loose idea for a short story. What surprised me was that the stories are connected in some way, how and why isn't always apparent immediately but the more you read the more links you see.
As I said this isn't a feel good Christmas book. There aren't any characters with redeemable qualities, at all, seriously almost everybody is the most vile and villainous scum you can imagine, and it's incredibly violent. You could actually argue that it's not a Christmas book at all but just a collection of twelve stories that are set at Christmas.
Those who only read the Logan Macrae series won't enjoy this. It actually feels like Macbride wants to try out the more horrendous acts that he probably needs to tone down slightly if he sets it in Aberdeen. Fans of his work in general should give it a go. I've said for a while now that the phrase "dark and gritty" was invented for him and these stories emphasise this. It's not one I'll personally return to every December as I'd have liked to see a protagonist type character introduced to balance out all the horrible things that take place but I'm glad I read it.
December 17, 2021
Ho preferito leggere questi 12 racconti in un'altra edizione ebook, così da recensirli separatamente solo con le stelle prima di recensire tutto l'insieme qui a parole. Non avevo mai letto niente di MacBride e dopo aver letto per primi questi racconti devo dire che mi piace come scrive e racconta le sue storie e descrive luoghi e personaggi: sciolto, crudo, cinico e con un'ironia nera che in questo genere è perfetta. Ognuno di questi racconti, diversi tra loro, ha in comune qualcosa con un altro nella raccolta, scelta azzeccata. Però hanno poco di natalizio e il titolo della raccolta e di alcuni di questi racconti tradotti in italiano hanno poco a che fare con quelli originali.
December 22, 2023
I've never read anything by Stuart MacBride before and I won't judge him on a collection of short stories but gosh did I hate this.
I liked the way all the stories were interconnected and how you would meet the same characters in different stories. That's it, that's absolutely the only positive thing I have to say about Twelve Days Of Winter.
For the rest, those were mindlessly violent too short stories, you hardly got to know a character that he would already be killed in the most gruesome way. It's not only gore, I can deal with gore, but this book felt like hard-core cynicism and like it had been written to kill any ounce of hope you might once have had. I hated that.
The stories themselves were too short to be interesting and ended up being very predictable. And dark. Incredibly dark. I can see this working better in an actual novel when you're familiar with the detective and his family/team but here it was just gratuitously ghastly.
I liked the way all the stories were interconnected and how you would meet the same characters in different stories. That's it, that's absolutely the only positive thing I have to say about Twelve Days Of Winter.
For the rest, those were mindlessly violent too short stories, you hardly got to know a character that he would already be killed in the most gruesome way. It's not only gore, I can deal with gore, but this book felt like hard-core cynicism and like it had been written to kill any ounce of hope you might once have had. I hated that.
The stories themselves were too short to be interesting and ended up being very predictable. And dark. Incredibly dark. I can see this working better in an actual novel when you're familiar with the detective and his family/team but here it was just gratuitously ghastly.
December 27, 2012
Really great fun!
Not as dark and macabre as soon of his books but fast paced and enjoyable to read.
I liked the way they all interlinked.
I was very lucky with my copy too as I came across it by accident and it is signed by Mr MacBride :)
Not as dark and macabre as soon of his books but fast paced and enjoyable to read.
I liked the way they all interlinked.
I was very lucky with my copy too as I came across it by accident and it is signed by Mr MacBride :)
August 15, 2022
Quanto mi piace lo stile di MacBride! Racconti brevi ma intensi, non ce n'è uno che non mi sia piaciuto.
December 20, 2020
A dark collection of interconnected crime short stories set in the Scottish town of Oldcastle. The stories are filled with misfits, dumb-ass criminals, violent gang leaders and morally abhorrent individuals. Many horrible, gruesome things happen to all of them as the violence drips of the stories. But they are overlaid with so much dark humour that you can't help chuckling at all the frankly insane things that happen to the protagonists (even when they are, sometimes, deeply sad stories). A pure enjoyment for those who like their winter tales twisted.
April 1, 2024
3.5* rounded up.
I confess, I've never read any Stuart MacBride before, but I found this in a little free library and it was the perfect size for a return trip to Glasgow, so, I devoured it today.
Here are 12 short stories with a Christmas flavour, and a nasty crime heart. There are some despicable characters, some horrible crimes, and some loose connections linking each story together.
As with short stories, some are always going to be better than others, but the quality on the whole was very good.
I confess, I've never read any Stuart MacBride before, but I found this in a little free library and it was the perfect size for a return trip to Glasgow, so, I devoured it today.
Here are 12 short stories with a Christmas flavour, and a nasty crime heart. There are some despicable characters, some horrible crimes, and some loose connections linking each story together.
As with short stories, some are always going to be better than others, but the quality on the whole was very good.
December 10, 2021
On the first Mini-Challenge read of Christmas I read Twelve Days of Winter by Stuart MacBride. This is not your usual holiday story collection! That is, unless your ideal celebration includes murder, mayhem, child sex abuse, chopping up dead bodies & roasting the bones 😳😳😳
That said, I did find myself laughing out loud (incredulously) several times & the seemingly disconn ected stories are wrapped up in a bow at the end 🤷🏻♀️
That said, I did find myself laughing out loud (incredulously) several times & the seemingly disconn ected stories are wrapped up in a bow at the end 🤷🏻♀️
February 22, 2021
Stuart MacBride is one of my favourite authors, but one of the reasons I like his work is the way he develops his characters and the stories. That’s lost in this 121 page book of 12 short tales.
December 30, 2021
Nice collection
December 29, 2022
Very enjoyable little book. 12 interlinked short stories that pack a punch.
December 7, 2024
3,5⭐
Je ne suis pas une fan des histoires courtes habituellement. Mais, dans ce livre, toutes les histoires étaient connectées l'une à l'autre, donc ça rendait le tout plus intéressant!
Je ne suis pas une fan des histoires courtes habituellement. Mais, dans ce livre, toutes les histoires étaient connectées l'une à l'autre, donc ça rendait le tout plus intéressant!
January 30, 2025
I really enjoyed this. It was short stories which were linked by narrative and rather typically Stuart MacBride unpleasant characters. Not a charming Christmas read so go by the author - not the title!!! Great for a fan like me.
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