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Home-Making by J.R. Miller
Don't let the title fool you. This is not just a book for women who keep home. Home-Making is an uncompromising vision statement for the domestic bliss and cultural dominion of the Christian family. The message of Home-Making is "Sisters, Brothers, Husbands, Wives -- Home life is meant to be beautiful, ennobling, and victorious!" God intends for each person, from parent to child, to play a role in family life, the ultimate goal of which is the transformation of the individual, the home and the society for the glory of God. Miller writes things that we know are true and that we need to hear, but everyone is afraid to say. He carefully addresses each member of the family and somehow manages to find the perfect balance between inspiration and exhortation.
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First published January 1, 1882
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About the author
J.R. Miller
169 books26 followersJames Russell Miller (March 20, 1840 – July 2, 1912) was a popular Christian author, Editorial Superintendent of the Presbyterian Board of Publication, and pastor of several churches in Pennsylvania and Illinois.
J.R. Miller was born near Frankfort Springs, Pennsylvania, on the banks of the Big Traverse, which according to his biographer, John T. Faris, is a merry little mill stream which drains one of the most beautiful valleys in the southern part of Beaver County. His parents were James Alexander Miller and Eleanor Creswell who were of Irish/Scottish stock.
James Russell Miller was the second child of ten, but his older sister died before he was born. James and his sisters attended the district school in Hanover Township, Beaver County, Pennsylvania until, when James was about fourteen, his father moved to a farm near Calcutta, Ohio. The children then went to the district school during the short winters and worked on the farm during summer.
In 1857, James entered Beaver Academy and in 1862 he progressed to Westminster College, Pennsylvania, which he graduated in June, 1862. Then in the autumn of that year he entered the theological seminary of the United Presbyterian Church at Allegheny, Pennsylvania.
The Pastorate
Mr. Miller resumed his interrupted studies at the Allegheny Theological Seminary in the fall of 1865 and completed them in the spring of 1867. That summer he accepted a call from the First United Presbyterian Church of New Wilmington, Pennsylvania. He was ordained and installed on September 11, 1867.
Rev. Miller held firmly to the great body of truth professed by the United Presbyterian Church, in which he had been reared, but he did not like the rule requiring the exclusive singing of the Psalms, and he felt that it was not honest for him to profess this as one of the articles of his Christian belief. He therefore resigned from his pastorate to seek membership in the Presbyterian Church (USA). In his two years as pastor, nearly two hundred names were added to the church roll.
The Old and New School Presbyterian Churches were reunited as the Presbyterian Church (USA) on November 12, 1869, and Dr. Miller became pastor of the Bethany Presbyterian Church of Philadelphia just nine days later. When he became pastor at Bethany the membership was seventy five and when he resigned in 1878 Bethany was the largest Presbyterian church in Philadelphia, having about twelve hundred members.
Rev. Miller then accepted the pastorate of the New Broadway Presbyterian Church of Rock Island, Illinois.
In 1880 Westminster College, his alma mater conferred on him the degree of Doctor of Divinity and later in the same year came the invitation to undertake editorial work for the Presbyterian Board of Publication in Philadelphia. Hence Dr. Miller had to resign the Rock Island, Illinois pastorate.
In Philadelphia J.R. Miller D.D. became interested in the Hollond Mission and eventually became its pastor. During the sixteen months of the pastorate the church membership grew from 259 to 1,164 and Sunday School membership climbed from 1,024 to 1,475.
On October 29, 1899, St. Paul Church in West Philadelphia was organized with sixty-six members. Dr. Miller was chosen temporary supply and became pastor in 1906. Dr. Miller remained pastor until the year of his death, 1912. The church at that time had 1,397 members.
J.R. Miller was born near Frankfort Springs, Pennsylvania, on the banks of the Big Traverse, which according to his biographer, John T. Faris, is a merry little mill stream which drains one of the most beautiful valleys in the southern part of Beaver County. His parents were James Alexander Miller and Eleanor Creswell who were of Irish/Scottish stock.
James Russell Miller was the second child of ten, but his older sister died before he was born. James and his sisters attended the district school in Hanover Township, Beaver County, Pennsylvania until, when James was about fourteen, his father moved to a farm near Calcutta, Ohio. The children then went to the district school during the short winters and worked on the farm during summer.
In 1857, James entered Beaver Academy and in 1862 he progressed to Westminster College, Pennsylvania, which he graduated in June, 1862. Then in the autumn of that year he entered the theological seminary of the United Presbyterian Church at Allegheny, Pennsylvania.
The Pastorate
Mr. Miller resumed his interrupted studies at the Allegheny Theological Seminary in the fall of 1865 and completed them in the spring of 1867. That summer he accepted a call from the First United Presbyterian Church of New Wilmington, Pennsylvania. He was ordained and installed on September 11, 1867.
Rev. Miller held firmly to the great body of truth professed by the United Presbyterian Church, in which he had been reared, but he did not like the rule requiring the exclusive singing of the Psalms, and he felt that it was not honest for him to profess this as one of the articles of his Christian belief. He therefore resigned from his pastorate to seek membership in the Presbyterian Church (USA). In his two years as pastor, nearly two hundred names were added to the church roll.
The Old and New School Presbyterian Churches were reunited as the Presbyterian Church (USA) on November 12, 1869, and Dr. Miller became pastor of the Bethany Presbyterian Church of Philadelphia just nine days later. When he became pastor at Bethany the membership was seventy five and when he resigned in 1878 Bethany was the largest Presbyterian church in Philadelphia, having about twelve hundred members.
Rev. Miller then accepted the pastorate of the New Broadway Presbyterian Church of Rock Island, Illinois.
In 1880 Westminster College, his alma mater conferred on him the degree of Doctor of Divinity and later in the same year came the invitation to undertake editorial work for the Presbyterian Board of Publication in Philadelphia. Hence Dr. Miller had to resign the Rock Island, Illinois pastorate.
In Philadelphia J.R. Miller D.D. became interested in the Hollond Mission and eventually became its pastor. During the sixteen months of the pastorate the church membership grew from 259 to 1,164 and Sunday School membership climbed from 1,024 to 1,475.
On October 29, 1899, St. Paul Church in West Philadelphia was organized with sixty-six members. Dr. Miller was chosen temporary supply and became pastor in 1906. Dr. Miller remained pastor until the year of his death, 1912. The church at that time had 1,397 members.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 65 reviews
February 16, 2016
Every once in a rare while, I see or hear or read something so beautiful that my heart cannot accommodate it's loveliness and the experience becomes almost painful. C.S. Lewis once said, “If we find ourselves with a desire that nothing in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that we were made for another world.” This book exemplified that hopeful yearning for me utterly. I have been married for over 25 years and my family is half-way "raised", but reading this traditional, Utopian description was an almost sacred experience, against the backdrop of the worldly angst and divisiveness over family values and definitions.
The manuscript was originally published in 1882 by a Presbyterian pastor, poetically detailing the idealistic marriage and family relationships and laying out the roles of each family member in order to obtain those lofty goals. It seems to be a description as close to perfection as is humanly possible, but I found only hope, motivation and truth in it's pages.
I know there will be some who will read it and mock its "romantic prose", "old fashioned roles", or "quixotic expectations", but as one reviewer so eloquently put it, "this is not pop-psychology, this is wisdom."
A must-read for anyone who loves the exquisite beauty of words, the elevation of lofty, spiritual goals and the desire to raise a selfless, joyful, Christ-centered, God "fearing" family.
The manuscript was originally published in 1882 by a Presbyterian pastor, poetically detailing the idealistic marriage and family relationships and laying out the roles of each family member in order to obtain those lofty goals. It seems to be a description as close to perfection as is humanly possible, but I found only hope, motivation and truth in it's pages.
I know there will be some who will read it and mock its "romantic prose", "old fashioned roles", or "quixotic expectations", but as one reviewer so eloquently put it, "this is not pop-psychology, this is wisdom."
A must-read for anyone who loves the exquisite beauty of words, the elevation of lofty, spiritual goals and the desire to raise a selfless, joyful, Christ-centered, God "fearing" family.
September 13, 2017
Reading this book is like looking at a perfect painting of the Christian family in a beautiful museum. Miller (1880's) describes in detail how does the Christian family should live and it really makes you want to live like that.
However, as you look closer into "the painting," you find that Miller did not address the most important thing that makes living this kind of life possible: The Gospel. There is no mention of sin and redemption, so if this is the only book one reads on how to live a godly life in the family there is going to be lots of frustration.
I would first recommend reading the series on the family that Douglas Wilson and Nancy Wilson have written. They are my favorite books on the matter.
Read it first in 2011.
However, as you look closer into "the painting," you find that Miller did not address the most important thing that makes living this kind of life possible: The Gospel. There is no mention of sin and redemption, so if this is the only book one reads on how to live a godly life in the family there is going to be lots of frustration.
I would first recommend reading the series on the family that Douglas Wilson and Nancy Wilson have written. They are my favorite books on the matter.
Read it first in 2011.
January 12, 2011
The Family is a book on, what else, the family by J. R. Miller, a pastor in the late 1800s. The book is arranged to highlight the various duties and roles of each member of a Christian family and to give a vision of what a biblical family ought to be. Various chapters focus on the husband, the wife, parents, children, and siblings. Each chapter is full of poetry, hymns, anecdotes, and parables to illustrate his points.
Overall, Miller does a great job of painting a beautiful picture of the family and of showing the nobility and importance of fulfilling god-given roles within the family. I loved his chapter on the wedded life and on husbands in particular. The one problem I have with Miller’s book, and this is kind of a big deal, is that he never really talks about sin or how to deal with sin. He sets up the perfect family life and shows how to achieve it. However, such a life is impossible to achieve without the grace of God and a lot of forgiveness among family members. As my wife is fond of saying, “It doesn’t do to leave sin out of your calculations when dealing with little children.” In the context of a family home imbued with God’s grace and in the constant habit of seeking and giving forgiveness, the guidelines in this book would be an excellent exhortation to faithfulness. However, in the hands of someone simply looking for “the right way to do things,” I can see this book being the source of much frustration with God and with other members of the family when it turns out that they can’t live up to the noble ideals of the book. “But I want my best family now!” So, this book could have used a little pastoral balance. We are all fallen sinners. Even the babies among us, my pastor points out, “are just little sinners waiting for motor skills,” and so grace is the necessary theme of the happy home.
Another thing that may be off-putting to some readers is the fact that the writer is a Victorian. While loving the beautiful language of the book, I felt like I needed a testosterone shot after reading certain portions of it. Somehow, the pre-Victorians seemed to be able to use beautiful language without it becoming sentimental or maudlin (eg.- Jane Austen), but the Victorians often descended into the worst sort of sentimentality. A couple of examples will explain what I mean.
“You have a sister pure as a lily. She has grown up beside you in the shelter of the home. Her eyes have never looked upon anything vile. Her ears have never heard an impure word. Her soul is as white as the snowflakes that fall from the clouds. You love her as you love your own life. You honor her as if she were a queen.”
No. No, I’m afraid your sister is a fallen sinner just like the rest of us. And if her eyes have never looked upon anything vile, it probably means that she is horribly naïve and needs an education. Someone get this woman a copy of Eusebius or Tacitus. Here’s another example:
“Little Willie Newton was a child of about five years old. One day his mother had taken him into her room and prayed for him by name, and when she arose, he exclaimed, ‘Mamma, mamma, I am so glad you told Jesus my name; now he’ll know me when I get to heaven. When the kind angels that carry little children to the Saviour take me and lay me in his arms, Jesus will look at me so pleased and say, “Why this is little Willie Newton; his mother told me about him; how happy I am to see you Willie!” Won’t that be nice, mamma?’”
Eurrgggh… Anyway, in final analysis, this is a good book for reminding people of their god-given duties as members of a Christian family, and is full of good advice. However it is weak on grace and long on sentimentality. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I suddenly feel the need to drink beer and do something manly.
Overall, Miller does a great job of painting a beautiful picture of the family and of showing the nobility and importance of fulfilling god-given roles within the family. I loved his chapter on the wedded life and on husbands in particular. The one problem I have with Miller’s book, and this is kind of a big deal, is that he never really talks about sin or how to deal with sin. He sets up the perfect family life and shows how to achieve it. However, such a life is impossible to achieve without the grace of God and a lot of forgiveness among family members. As my wife is fond of saying, “It doesn’t do to leave sin out of your calculations when dealing with little children.” In the context of a family home imbued with God’s grace and in the constant habit of seeking and giving forgiveness, the guidelines in this book would be an excellent exhortation to faithfulness. However, in the hands of someone simply looking for “the right way to do things,” I can see this book being the source of much frustration with God and with other members of the family when it turns out that they can’t live up to the noble ideals of the book. “But I want my best family now!” So, this book could have used a little pastoral balance. We are all fallen sinners. Even the babies among us, my pastor points out, “are just little sinners waiting for motor skills,” and so grace is the necessary theme of the happy home.
Another thing that may be off-putting to some readers is the fact that the writer is a Victorian. While loving the beautiful language of the book, I felt like I needed a testosterone shot after reading certain portions of it. Somehow, the pre-Victorians seemed to be able to use beautiful language without it becoming sentimental or maudlin (eg.- Jane Austen), but the Victorians often descended into the worst sort of sentimentality. A couple of examples will explain what I mean.
“You have a sister pure as a lily. She has grown up beside you in the shelter of the home. Her eyes have never looked upon anything vile. Her ears have never heard an impure word. Her soul is as white as the snowflakes that fall from the clouds. You love her as you love your own life. You honor her as if she were a queen.”
No. No, I’m afraid your sister is a fallen sinner just like the rest of us. And if her eyes have never looked upon anything vile, it probably means that she is horribly naïve and needs an education. Someone get this woman a copy of Eusebius or Tacitus. Here’s another example:
“Little Willie Newton was a child of about five years old. One day his mother had taken him into her room and prayed for him by name, and when she arose, he exclaimed, ‘Mamma, mamma, I am so glad you told Jesus my name; now he’ll know me when I get to heaven. When the kind angels that carry little children to the Saviour take me and lay me in his arms, Jesus will look at me so pleased and say, “Why this is little Willie Newton; his mother told me about him; how happy I am to see you Willie!” Won’t that be nice, mamma?’”
Eurrgggh… Anyway, in final analysis, this is a good book for reminding people of their god-given duties as members of a Christian family, and is full of good advice. However it is weak on grace and long on sentimentality. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I suddenly feel the need to drink beer and do something manly.
June 21, 2023
J. R. Miller loved the word “tender” about as much as I do, which made this read even more lovely and enjoyable. This is not just a book for women—it is not about homemaking in the sense of cooking, cleaning, or decorating—but rather of the roles and duties of each member of the household. Miller paints a beautiful picture of marriage, children, family worship, beauty, and the warmth and tenderness of home. I think a lot of single women could benefit from pulling quotes from this book and turning them into prayers for their future household. This is a precious book I will be revisiting for a long time!
”May God help every one of us to live at home so tenderly, so unselfishly, so lovingly…”
”May God help every one of us to live at home so tenderly, so unselfishly, so lovingly…”
December 19, 2025
“No other work that God gives any of us to do is so important, so sacred, so far reaching in its influence, so delicate and easily marred-as our homemaking. This is the work of all our life-that is most divine. The carpenter works in wood, the mason works in stone, the smith works in iron, the artist works on canvas-but the homemaker works on immortal lives. The wood or the stone or the iron or the canvas may be marred, and it will not matter greatly in fifty years; but let a tender human soul be marred in its early training, and ages hence the effects will still be seen. Whatever else we slight, let it never be our home-making. If we do nothing else well in this world, let us at least build well within our own doors.”
Such a beautiful book, such a beautiful picture of family life. Not a book for women only, but an address to each member of the family and their respective roles-the husband and father, the wife and mother, the brother and son, or sister and daughter.
Such a beautiful book, such a beautiful picture of family life. Not a book for women only, but an address to each member of the family and their respective roles-the husband and father, the wife and mother, the brother and son, or sister and daughter.
April 19, 2021
Second time through. As beautiful and inspiring as ever. My favorite.
August 1, 2024
Second time reading this book and I already can’t wait to read it again. It’s so inspiring, encouraging and challenging to compare with my own home and family. His words are so poetic. A lovely read.
This book was life changing for me. There is so much in there. He goes over the marriage relationship, family relationships and so much more. This is a book I can see myself reading each year. I listened to this one through a podcast which was amazing (especially for someone who doesn’t usually enjoy an audiobook) but I need a hard copy to mark up so many of the pages and nuggets of wisdom.
If you are a believer or just looking for something to help you better your family life and relationships, try this book!
This book was life changing for me. There is so much in there. He goes over the marriage relationship, family relationships and so much more. This is a book I can see myself reading each year. I listened to this one through a podcast which was amazing (especially for someone who doesn’t usually enjoy an audiobook) but I need a hard copy to mark up so many of the pages and nuggets of wisdom.
If you are a believer or just looking for something to help you better your family life and relationships, try this book!
January 31, 2023
Just such a BEAUTIFUL book that I would recommend to any husband, wife, engaged couple, or even those who aspire to be married. Not just for women, full of beautiful yet practical wisdom- I feel like I highlighted over 50% of the book.
October 3, 2024
An excellent read on the theology and practical living of the Christian home. This is not a book exclusively for the homemaker, but the entire family. J.R. Miller writes with such clarity and beauty on the eternal significance of the home ministry and it being the primary focus of Christian community for everyone. The family is where it all starts. I was surprised by his inclusion of poems and beautiful imagery to get his points across, but it was lovely and poignant. He reviews each member of the family and their particular duties in each chapter. I think that the chapters on the Husband's Part and the Wife's Part would be excellent premarital or marital counseling material. I loved the theme he used of the home and each member in it being a benediction from God to one another and to the outside world. "Every true home is an influence of blessing in the community where it stands. Its lights shine out. Its songs ring out. Its spirit breathes out. The neighbors know whether it is inhospitable or hospitable, warm or cold, inviting or repelling. Some homes bless no lives outside their own circle; others are perpetually pouring out sweetness and fragrance. The ideal Christian home is a far reaching benediction."
May 6, 2023
Wow. Never had a written work so impressed on me the significance and weighty work of homemaking. In every section, Miller paints a beautiful portrayal of the home-life that is possible for Christians.
A quote from the last section of the book:
“No other work that God gives any of us to do is so important, so sacred, so far reaching in its influence, so delicate and easily marred—as our homemaking. This is the work of all our life —that is most divine. The carpenter works in wood, the mason works in stone, the smith works in iron, the artist works on canvas—but the homemaker works on immortal lives.”
A quote from the last section of the book:
“No other work that God gives any of us to do is so important, so sacred, so far reaching in its influence, so delicate and easily marred—as our homemaking. This is the work of all our life —that is most divine. The carpenter works in wood, the mason works in stone, the smith works in iron, the artist works on canvas—but the homemaker works on immortal lives.”
February 6, 2017
This gem is subtle yet clear, like gilded cracks of well-worn pottery.
"Brothers and sisters are each other's natural keepers... Next to mother and father there is no one who can do so much to help a young man to live nobly as his own sister...Show them in yourselves such perfect loveliness that they will turn away ever after from everything that is unlovely."
To the glory of Home in our Father's house!
"Brothers and sisters are each other's natural keepers... Next to mother and father there is no one who can do so much to help a young man to live nobly as his own sister...Show them in yourselves such perfect loveliness that they will turn away ever after from everything that is unlovely."
To the glory of Home in our Father's house!
March 17, 2013
Excellent book-- every person should read it. I thought bc the title was called home-making that it was just for women..but this book is for both men and women-- encouraging them to make their home a place where Christ dwells.
July 26, 2014
Such a good read if you are striving to have a godly family. This is a book worth reading once a year. It is encouraging and convicting, what today's families truly need to reading.
August 9, 2023
There are some real winner sections in this book. I especially appreciated portions of the Christian Wife, the Parents’ Part, Brothers and Sisters, and Religion in the Home chapters. However, the book really misses on clarifying the husband/father role of leading and teaching his household. It’s barely touched on in The Parents’ Part chapter and even then it sounds like either parent can be taking that role. Additionally, Miller does not use Scripture enough to show how he got to his conclusions. His writing seems more feel-good and poetic than clearly biblical. I agree with many of his conclusions, but the way he gets there is loosely biblical.
May 30, 2022
JR Miller carefully identifies the sacredness of the home. It’s not written in a typical style with which I’m accustomed. Miller’s style is more poetic and emotional and at some moments in later chapters felt a bit overly mushy? However, I think this was his attempt to capture the sweetness and loveliness of the home life and relationships.
The ideal Christian home life presented in this book is wonderfully aspirational but also readily achievable which I think makes it inspirational.
The ideal Christian home life presented in this book is wonderfully aspirational but also readily achievable which I think makes it inspirational.
February 21, 2023
One of the things I love about reading a nonfiction book from 140 years ago is how it gets you inside a different cultural lens. Miller, writing in 1882, takes the same Bible and God that we have today but draws inspiring and sometimes shocking applications based on the time and perspective in which he lived. There were times he almost lost me, but other times when the picture he painted was so earnest, vivid and beautiful that I longed to see it realized.
October 25, 2018
One of the best books I have ever read on the WHY of home making.
Beautiful, heart and spirit enriching words of encouragement and exhortation for men and women.
One of the top 10 books I've read in my lifetime.
Beautiful, heart and spirit enriching words of encouragement and exhortation for men and women.
One of the top 10 books I've read in my lifetime.
May 29, 2025
LOVED THIS BOOK!!! Highly recommend for men and women. Josh and I read it together and we both strongly recommend it.
November 2, 2025
4.5 stars
March 15, 2024
There's a lot of wisdom in this little book. It is all about relationships in our homes and the different parts we play to make up a home.
May 4, 2010
I finally finished reading The Family by J. R. Miller! It was excellent, and one I will probably read several times throughout my life. With poetic sensitivities, the author writes on the roles of husbands, wives, parents, children, brothers and sisters, and additionally touches on the wedded life, the home-life, religion in the home, and home memories. Here are just a few quotes--the whole book is almost equally as worthy. Though some of it is possibly seen through rosy-tinted glasses, should not his ideals be sought after, if not entirely attainable? I may not agree with his every point, but in the majority I do.
From The Mother's Part
'Let it be remembered that Christ's work in the home is the first that he gives to every wife, and that no amount of consecrated activities in other spheres will atone in this world or the next for neglect or failure there.'
From The Parents' Part:
'No father can afford to let his children grow up without weaving himself into the memories of their golden youth.'
'Oh that God would give every mother a vision of the glory and splendor of the work that is given to her when a babe is placed in her bosom to be nursed and trained! Could she have but one glimpse into the future of that life as it reaches on into eternity; could she look into its soul to see its possibilities; could she be made to understand her own personal responsibility for the training of this child, for the development of its life, and for its destiny,--she would see that in all God's world there is no other work so noble and so worthy of her best powers, and she would commit to no other hands the sacred and holy trust given to her.'
'The parent's life flows into the child's life. We impress ourselves upon our children less by what we teach them than by what we are. Your child is a sensitive plate; you are sitting before the camera; if you do not like the picture the fault is with yourself.'
From The Children's Part
'If he then strews thorns for their feet, what does it avail that he brings flowers for their burial? If he dishonors them by disobedience, by unkindness, by unworthy conduct, by sin, what does it avail that he sets up the costly monuments over their graves, cutting in the white marble his praises of their virtues and their faithfulness?'
'Did his [Jesus':] subjection break his power, repress the glorious aspiration of his soul, stunt and hinder the development of his life and make his career into a failure in the end?'
'No one is fitted for ruling others who has not first learned in his place to obey.'
From Brothers and Sisters:
'There is not so much happiness in the world that we can afford to leave our homes desert spots when they might be blossoming gardens. Certainly it is worth-while to think of the matter, for each of us honestly to inquire whether in our home there are not seeds of beautiful things that are yielding no beauty; whether there are not treasures hidden in our fleeting life which we have never yet discovered; whether we are not blindly passing by Heaven's richest gifts to us of friendship and tender affection lying within our own doors while we press out, quest into other fields and vainly seek for satisfaction.'
From The Home-Life
'One single fact clearly presented and firmly impressed is better than whole chapters of information poured out in a confused jargon on minds that cannot remember any part of it.'
From Religion in the Home:
'Another pleads timidity. He cannot make a prayer in his family. He would break down. But is timidity a sufficient plea to excuse one from a duty so solemn, on which such vital interests of time and eternity depend? We had better test all our actions as we go on through life by inquiring how they will look at the judgment-day or from amid their own consequences at the end.'
From Home Memories:
'No other work that God gives any of us to do is so important, so sacred, so far-reaching in its influence, so delicate and easily marred as our home-making. This is the work of all our life that is most divine. The carpenter works in wood, the mason works in stone, the smith works in iron, the artist works on canvas, but the home-maker works on immortal lives. The wood or the stone or the iron or the canvas may be marred, and it will not matter greatly in fifty years; but let a tender human soul be marred in its early training, and ages hence the effects will still be seen.'
From The Mother's Part
'Let it be remembered that Christ's work in the home is the first that he gives to every wife, and that no amount of consecrated activities in other spheres will atone in this world or the next for neglect or failure there.'
From The Parents' Part:
'No father can afford to let his children grow up without weaving himself into the memories of their golden youth.'
'Oh that God would give every mother a vision of the glory and splendor of the work that is given to her when a babe is placed in her bosom to be nursed and trained! Could she have but one glimpse into the future of that life as it reaches on into eternity; could she look into its soul to see its possibilities; could she be made to understand her own personal responsibility for the training of this child, for the development of its life, and for its destiny,--she would see that in all God's world there is no other work so noble and so worthy of her best powers, and she would commit to no other hands the sacred and holy trust given to her.'
'The parent's life flows into the child's life. We impress ourselves upon our children less by what we teach them than by what we are. Your child is a sensitive plate; you are sitting before the camera; if you do not like the picture the fault is with yourself.'
From The Children's Part
'If he then strews thorns for their feet, what does it avail that he brings flowers for their burial? If he dishonors them by disobedience, by unkindness, by unworthy conduct, by sin, what does it avail that he sets up the costly monuments over their graves, cutting in the white marble his praises of their virtues and their faithfulness?'
'Did his [Jesus':] subjection break his power, repress the glorious aspiration of his soul, stunt and hinder the development of his life and make his career into a failure in the end?'
'No one is fitted for ruling others who has not first learned in his place to obey.'
From Brothers and Sisters:
'There is not so much happiness in the world that we can afford to leave our homes desert spots when they might be blossoming gardens. Certainly it is worth-while to think of the matter, for each of us honestly to inquire whether in our home there are not seeds of beautiful things that are yielding no beauty; whether there are not treasures hidden in our fleeting life which we have never yet discovered; whether we are not blindly passing by Heaven's richest gifts to us of friendship and tender affection lying within our own doors while we press out, quest into other fields and vainly seek for satisfaction.'
From The Home-Life
'One single fact clearly presented and firmly impressed is better than whole chapters of information poured out in a confused jargon on minds that cannot remember any part of it.'
From Religion in the Home:
'Another pleads timidity. He cannot make a prayer in his family. He would break down. But is timidity a sufficient plea to excuse one from a duty so solemn, on which such vital interests of time and eternity depend? We had better test all our actions as we go on through life by inquiring how they will look at the judgment-day or from amid their own consequences at the end.'
From Home Memories:
'No other work that God gives any of us to do is so important, so sacred, so far-reaching in its influence, so delicate and easily marred as our home-making. This is the work of all our life that is most divine. The carpenter works in wood, the mason works in stone, the smith works in iron, the artist works on canvas, but the home-maker works on immortal lives. The wood or the stone or the iron or the canvas may be marred, and it will not matter greatly in fifty years; but let a tender human soul be marred in its early training, and ages hence the effects will still be seen.'
April 15, 2022
Entertaining: 5/10
Transformative: 8/10
My parenting author sweet spot appears to be dead guys from the late 1800's. Paints a beautiful picture of the life giving design for the family.
Transformative: 8/10
My parenting author sweet spot appears to be dead guys from the late 1800's. Paints a beautiful picture of the life giving design for the family.
June 24, 2008
Update - I still haven't finished this book, and I might not, ever. But I did read another couple chapters, including the one on surviving hard times with your family in tact, and it was all so moving, and so true. I got all choked up, thinking about how difficult life could be 150 years ago. Death was common, even depressingly familiar, to Victorian families. (Okay, I cry during commercials, so this probably doesn't say much, but I shed a few tears.) Anyway, this cemented what I was trying to articulate before, that this silly, dated period piece is not entirely without substance.
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Okay, I found the book, but I don't think I'm ever going to finish the last 30 pages of this - it's fun and enjoyable, but I think I got the point. Maybe I'll pick it up later ...
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I imagine some people might give this book five stars because they actually agree with the ideas expressed in the book. All you have to do is look at the Amazon reviews to find that this is a favorite of the "Ladies Against Feminism." Whereas I'm so deeply, inherently feminist that I had to remind myself to type "Ladies" instead of "Women."
The reason those ... ahem ... *ladies* like this book is that it puts women on a ridiculous pedestal, as sexless, frail Madonnas and nurturers, bound by duty to obey God, their fathers, and their husbands. Let's just get that out of the way.
BUT, this book is surprisingly charming! As the fly-leaf says, "Don't let the title fool you. This is not just a book for women who keep home. Home-Making is an uncompromising vision statement for the domestic bliss and cultural dominion of the Christian family. The message of Home-Making is powerful: "Sisters, Brothers, Husbands, Wives -- Home life is meant to be beautiful, ennobling, and victorious!" God intends for each person, from parent to child, to play a role in family life, the ultimate goal of which is the transformation of the individual, the home and the society for the glory of God."
I especially enjoyed the chapter on how husbands need to treat their wives like ladies, and not let their manners go just because they're married.
"Steve!," I scream across the house with glee, "It says here you shouldn't burp loudly in front of me!!"
I also liked the advice for wives, which can be loosely paraphrased as "Get off your fat duffs and do some housework!" How many husbands have been ruined by careless, slovenly, and spendthrift wives??!! "YOU, my dear, may be the only thing standing between your man and the deep precipice of damnation!"
I'm not done yet. I was dabbling in it and now I seem to have misplaced the book. But this is a fun read in the same way those 1940s books on "Charm" are fun. Best read aloud, with laughter, to your friends and family. A great slice of history, well-written, hilariously out of date, etc.
And when the advice is not outlandishly WRONG, it's often RIGHT. I mean, really, men, you SHOULDN'T burp loudly in front of your wife - it's a real romance killer.
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A guide to being a 19th century self-effacing wife? What's not to like?
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Okay, I found the book, but I don't think I'm ever going to finish the last 30 pages of this - it's fun and enjoyable, but I think I got the point. Maybe I'll pick it up later ...
__________________________________
I imagine some people might give this book five stars because they actually agree with the ideas expressed in the book. All you have to do is look at the Amazon reviews to find that this is a favorite of the "Ladies Against Feminism." Whereas I'm so deeply, inherently feminist that I had to remind myself to type "Ladies" instead of "Women."
The reason those ... ahem ... *ladies* like this book is that it puts women on a ridiculous pedestal, as sexless, frail Madonnas and nurturers, bound by duty to obey God, their fathers, and their husbands. Let's just get that out of the way.
BUT, this book is surprisingly charming! As the fly-leaf says, "Don't let the title fool you. This is not just a book for women who keep home. Home-Making is an uncompromising vision statement for the domestic bliss and cultural dominion of the Christian family. The message of Home-Making is powerful: "Sisters, Brothers, Husbands, Wives -- Home life is meant to be beautiful, ennobling, and victorious!" God intends for each person, from parent to child, to play a role in family life, the ultimate goal of which is the transformation of the individual, the home and the society for the glory of God."
I especially enjoyed the chapter on how husbands need to treat their wives like ladies, and not let their manners go just because they're married.
"Steve!," I scream across the house with glee, "It says here you shouldn't burp loudly in front of me!!"
I also liked the advice for wives, which can be loosely paraphrased as "Get off your fat duffs and do some housework!" How many husbands have been ruined by careless, slovenly, and spendthrift wives??!! "YOU, my dear, may be the only thing standing between your man and the deep precipice of damnation!"
I'm not done yet. I was dabbling in it and now I seem to have misplaced the book. But this is a fun read in the same way those 1940s books on "Charm" are fun. Best read aloud, with laughter, to your friends and family. A great slice of history, well-written, hilariously out of date, etc.
And when the advice is not outlandishly WRONG, it's often RIGHT. I mean, really, men, you SHOULDN'T burp loudly in front of your wife - it's a real romance killer.
___________________________________________
A guide to being a 19th century self-effacing wife? What's not to like?
November 3, 2015
Previously called "Home-Making," and changed to "The Family," this book encompasses the two titles combined. It lays out in lovely words how each member of the household plays a special role in the harmony and affability of a loving, Christian home. Above all, I would say it's devotional in style. The practical application would have to come about by the individual's own conviction and specific circumstances. There is less on the mundane requirements and more on the inward fixtures; attitude, temperament, and so on, in the ways of fashioning a home with only the happiest of memories. This book is for the entire family. There's a section for the husband, the wife, the siblings, the children, and family worship and so on. It is not a homemaker's handbook in the stay-at-home-mum sense. Every person of the household would be able to glean something from it.
I would warn the readers; this book does not deal much with sin, or maybe I should say, it doesn't dwell on it in any kind of punishing language. The author assumes his setting is a Christian house, or at least one that considers itself and calls itself one. There is no advise on how to handle rebellion in the ranks, but instead sets up ideals for each member and promises the richness of reward if every one of them strives for those ideals. The language of it assumes each individual will recognise their own need for improvement and act on it. For example, the role of the sister practically made us out to be angels upon earth, and I could only hope that if my brothers read this book, they weren't scoffing and rolling their eyes and saying, "But she doesn't do all those things, or when she does, it isn't with that sweet and perfect temper, so why should I be and do all the gallant things it expects of me as a brother?" This won't be of any use with those kinds of thoughts going into it. It's more inspiring than instructive. More devotional than doctrinal. More of a perfection to strive for rather than a harsh reality to mend. And because of that, I loved it very much, indeed.
The withheld star is for all the poetry. I love pretty words, but I've never been fond of rhyming verses sprinkled throughout a devotional, and I did skim or outright skip quite a lot of verses that were used. This is nothing against their use. Some may find them a lovely way of enhancing the message. Personally, I prefer the more straightforward text.
Overall, the book was lovely. I've put so many tabs in my copy, it looks like a cheery little porcupine, all spiked with happy memories. I highly recommend this book to anyone and everyone in a Christian family who can read nineteenth century language, or like to have someone read to them.
I would warn the readers; this book does not deal much with sin, or maybe I should say, it doesn't dwell on it in any kind of punishing language. The author assumes his setting is a Christian house, or at least one that considers itself and calls itself one. There is no advise on how to handle rebellion in the ranks, but instead sets up ideals for each member and promises the richness of reward if every one of them strives for those ideals. The language of it assumes each individual will recognise their own need for improvement and act on it. For example, the role of the sister practically made us out to be angels upon earth, and I could only hope that if my brothers read this book, they weren't scoffing and rolling their eyes and saying, "But she doesn't do all those things, or when she does, it isn't with that sweet and perfect temper, so why should I be and do all the gallant things it expects of me as a brother?" This won't be of any use with those kinds of thoughts going into it. It's more inspiring than instructive. More devotional than doctrinal. More of a perfection to strive for rather than a harsh reality to mend. And because of that, I loved it very much, indeed.
The withheld star is for all the poetry. I love pretty words, but I've never been fond of rhyming verses sprinkled throughout a devotional, and I did skim or outright skip quite a lot of verses that were used. This is nothing against their use. Some may find them a lovely way of enhancing the message. Personally, I prefer the more straightforward text.
Overall, the book was lovely. I've put so many tabs in my copy, it looks like a cheery little porcupine, all spiked with happy memories. I highly recommend this book to anyone and everyone in a Christian family who can read nineteenth century language, or like to have someone read to them.
December 11, 2014
Reading this book is like visiting a home that, though yet imperfect, is full of love and joy. Those of us who have experienced this singular blessing with a real family know that it at once it warms the heart and convicts the spirit of the many ways we undermine the spirit of love and joy in our own homes with our thoughtlessness. Miller must have experienced it himself, for his description of a godly family life is vivid and absolutely beautiful.
He has a recurring message which we've all heard from our mothers since we were little, yet he is able to state it in so many different ways that it remains fresh and poignant each time: there is no reason to treat your family with any less respect and thoughtfulness than those outside the family. Most of us have heard it enough times for it to become a meaningless cliche, but reading this book will impress it on your conscience so clearly that the admonition will never be far from your mind when you are with your family.
He has a recurring message which we've all heard from our mothers since we were little, yet he is able to state it in so many different ways that it remains fresh and poignant each time: there is no reason to treat your family with any less respect and thoughtfulness than those outside the family. Most of us have heard it enough times for it to become a meaningless cliche, but reading this book will impress it on your conscience so clearly that the admonition will never be far from your mind when you are with your family.
May 19, 2008
Written in 1882, this novel is for the whole family. Each member holds responsibility to develop positive relationships. To build trust and love throughout life. I was especially appreciative of the advice for brothers and sisters in the development of lasting bonds of sibling respect and love. Something I really feel I missed growing up and now in my later years.
One thing I did different with this book was to use the ideas of Dr. Oliver DeMille. I didn't exactly follow his way I adapted his way. I read the first and last paragraph of each chapter and also the first and last sentence of each paragraph within the chapter. If I felt unclear I would go back a little. Amazingly I felt quite satisfied reading this way.
One thing I did different with this book was to use the ideas of Dr. Oliver DeMille. I didn't exactly follow his way I adapted his way. I read the first and last paragraph of each chapter and also the first and last sentence of each paragraph within the chapter. If I felt unclear I would go back a little. Amazingly I felt quite satisfied reading this way.
May 2, 2009
I expected this to be a book aimed at a woman's role in the home. What a surprise. It covers everything from marriage to brother-sister relationships to parenting, to general atmosphere. It's a beatiful book addressing the topic of establishing and creating a pleasant, godly home. There are aspects of home life that many of us never think to be purposeful about. I may not have agreed with everything, but much good and inspiration is contained in its pages. As a daughter at home, I found work for myself. And if I ever have the opportunity to establish my own home, I hope I will not forget the wisdom given here. Definitely a book I'd find worth re-reading.
July 1, 2016
J. R. Miller gives a beautifully written picture of biblical home life. Don't be fooled by the title. It's not just about how wives are home makers, it covers many aspects of family life - marriage, children, siblings, etc.
This book is not so much of a theological tome or book of exhortation, as a book that just shows the beauty of the Christian life. Part of that, that really help me much, were very frequent quotations of poetry.
This book is not so much of a theological tome or book of exhortation, as a book that just shows the beauty of the Christian life. Part of that, that really help me much, were very frequent quotations of poetry.
June 9, 2016
I picked this up at a yard sale, expecting merely an interesting read (particularly since it was first published in 1882). Instead, what a found was a timeless treasure of Christian home-making principles. Reader, you will not find in its pages tips and advice regarding household chores, but you will find encouragement, poetry and advice on establishing a home that is centered upon Christ. I adore this book!
November 5, 2012
I love the ideas in this book...a reminder of what is really important in life and your family role. A little old fashioned in the way it is written....kind of wordy and hard to follow once in a while.
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