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Lay It on My Heart
It's late summer in Kentucky, the low ceiling of August pressing down on Charmaine Peake and the town of East Winder. Charmaine and her mother get along better with a room between them, but they've been forced by circumstances to relocate to a tiny trailer by the river. The last of a line of local holy men, Charmaine's father has turned from prophet to patient, his revelation lost in the clarifying haze of medication. Her sure-minded grandmother has suffered a stroke. At church, where she has always felt most certain, Charmaine is tested when she finds out that her archrival, a sanctimonious missionary kid, carries a dark, confusing secret. Suddenly her life can be sorted into what she wishes she knew and what she wishes she didn't.
A moving, hilarious portrait of mothers and daughters, Lay It on My Heart brings us into the center of a family weathering the toughest patch of their lives. But most of all, it marks out the seemingly unbearable realities of growing up, the strength that comes from finding real friendship, and the power of discovering—and accepting—who you are.
A moving, hilarious portrait of mothers and daughters, Lay It on My Heart brings us into the center of a family weathering the toughest patch of their lives. But most of all, it marks out the seemingly unbearable realities of growing up, the strength that comes from finding real friendship, and the power of discovering—and accepting—who you are.
288 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2014
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2024 people want to read
About the author
Angela Pneuman
6 books44 followersAngela Pneuman teaches fiction writing in the Continuing Studies program at Stanford University and works as a copywriter in the California wine industry. Her stories have appeared in Best American Short Stories (2012 & 2004), Ploughshares, Los Angeles Review, Iowa Review, Glimmertrain and many other literary magazines—and were collected in her first book, Home Remedies (Harcourt, 2007). Angela was a Stegner Fellow at Stanford, a Presidential Fellow at SUNY Albany, and the recipient of the inaugural Alice Hoffman Prize for short fiction from Ploughshares. Her novel Lay It on My Heart is a Barnes & Noble Discover Great New Writers pick for Fall of 2014.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 87 reviews
September 23, 2015
P, is for Pneuman
2 Stars
UNPOPULAR OPINION TIME!!! (This novel has a 3.46 average star rating, guys and gals!! So don't let my 2 stars dissuade you if you think this is a book you will truly enjoy because you just might love it!)
My problem is that I am forever expecting books like this to be something they aren't. Which isn't fair of me but there it is.
I wasn't raised, as they say, with faith. I am a by-product of a mixed religion relationship, so while it would be easy to say I was raised Atheist that wouldn't be precisely true either. My mother believes in God and has said a number of times that it makes her sad that my brother and I never attended church as children. However, that is one point in my raising that I strongly disagree with her on, I believe in allowing my brother and myself to believe what we wanted to believe she gave us an opportunity to explore our own opinions on religion. And learn a faith in ourselves, to trust ourselves and our own ability to make the best choices we can with the information at hand. Now, I am NOT saying that religious faith doesn't teach one to trust him/herself, I am simply saying this is how it worked out in MY life. And I think it worked out pretty well, all in all.
Which leads me to the next thing I want to mention (and the basis of why this book ultimately didn’t work for me).
I have faith that people are generally good, even if sometimes it is REALLY hard to see the forest for the trees. To me it does not matter if you are Christian, Muslim, Atheist, Agnostic or Pastafarian; if you are a good person whichever avenue has brought you to be who you are is wonderful. For me, it is as simple as that. I do not believe there is a "right" and a "wrong" when it comes to belief, and I have a FUNDAMENTAL ISSUE with being told there is. To that end I am going to explain the three people whose hearts I have been lain on (You asked for it, Heather!! I am not to be held accountable for how long this review may get!).
Act One:
My paternal uncle was a pastor, and to be fair the most zealous of the participants in the "let's save Karly’s soul mission". He came to visit one summer when I was about 5 or 6 (thankfully, he lives on the other side of the globe so such visits are extremely rare) and while here took it upon himself to convince his young niece that she really should be praying before bed. Now there are ways to go about convincing children to do things they don’t understand BUT telling a child who has no concept of religion that "if you don’t pray your entire family will burn in Hell" is probably not the wisest one. For one thing, when asked to elaborate he went on a tangent about souls which I thought a reference to "soles" and couldn't for the life of me imagine why the bottom of someone's feet would catch on fire because I didn't hold my hands in front of my face and talk to someone I didn't know. For another thing, I was stubborn and contrary (name a 5 year old who isn't, I dare you!) so my response was "Does that include you?" after which I went to bed without praying.
Act Two:
My maternal uncle bought me a book of children's bible stories when I was twelve. This gift was not appreciated, especially when combined with a sermon- length speech on the reasons having the Lord in my life will make me a better person. Firstly, this book was designed for children, small children, NOT his twelve year old niece who was reading Goosebumps and Christopher Pike, already. Secondly, having not been raised with religion I had no comprehension of WHY a book could possibly make me a better person, it made no sense to me. So being the sass-mouth youngster I was, I sold it (for a dollar) at a yard sale and bought candy with the money.
Act Three:
When I was in my early twenties my cousin, who was in missionary school, decided that the way to bond with me is to bring me to church with him to see what I am missing. My cousin is a boy who has been remade by the church, in an amazing way, for him God was the first person who truly embraced him. He learned unconditional love in the church, and that more than anything is why I finally decided to go with him. And it was interesting, the community of his church was fun and friendly BUT I don’t believe in god, so when he asked me if I was going to come back I told him I couldn’t in good conscience do that.
I’m telling these stories here because they spearhead back to the concept of Lay it on my Heart which is a novel revolving around the daughter of a highly religious family and the different ways she learns and grows over the course of her first month in High School. One of which is through attempting to conform three people she doesn’t especially like in her new school. And while I have to admit the writing is quite good, the story is…. Bothersome to me. I have big, red button issues with trying to change how people feel, one way OR the other. It bothers me just as much for a religious person to bible-thump as it does for an atheist to bible-disprove. Who are we to say which is right and which is wrong, or even if there is such a black and white answer at all?
Okay, this novel is almost over I promise!! My last comment is on the ending, can someone explain to me HOW this is an ending?? It feels like the last fifty pages are missing, what exactly IS the conclusion?
Thank you to the amazing karen for pressies! I hope you enjoy this one more than I did.
July 25, 2014
I won this book through a Goodreads giveaway, and I've been wading through it for the past several weeks, hoping to write a good review at the end of my journey. At first, I admit I was looking for a nail-biting page turner, but the conclusion was so satisfying that I regret my initial impatience.
Charmaine is a compelling, hilarious, and accessible protagonist, and this story's power has everything to do with her perspective. I think she resonates with me so much because I attended a religious school in a rural county for nine years; Pneuman does a great job of capturing that atmosphere and creating a community that's so small it feels claustrophobic.
She also succeeds at dropping clues and then pulling the plot together, though if you're looking for a big twist or a clean ending, you'll be disappointed. This book's impact is quiet and subtle. The last few lines took me by surprise with their depth, but the whole narrative immediately made sense as I read the final chapter, and I really appreciate the message she's trying to impart.
Whether you had a religious upbringing or not, it's hard to avoid evangelical Christianity in the United States. This book shines a light on one particular sub-set of it, without getting preachy OR condescending. It's an intriguing way to approach the idea of divinity, but this isn't really a book about struggling with your faith; it's a book about human communication and emotion. It's a book about the choices parents make, and the changes (physiological and psychological) that take us by surprise, and the sweet relief of truly understanding something or someone for the first time. But ultimately, Lay It On My Heart is a book about self-preservation. And I'm so grateful I got to watch Charmaine's independent spirit take flight.
Charmaine is a compelling, hilarious, and accessible protagonist, and this story's power has everything to do with her perspective. I think she resonates with me so much because I attended a religious school in a rural county for nine years; Pneuman does a great job of capturing that atmosphere and creating a community that's so small it feels claustrophobic.
She also succeeds at dropping clues and then pulling the plot together, though if you're looking for a big twist or a clean ending, you'll be disappointed. This book's impact is quiet and subtle. The last few lines took me by surprise with their depth, but the whole narrative immediately made sense as I read the final chapter, and I really appreciate the message she's trying to impart.
Whether you had a religious upbringing or not, it's hard to avoid evangelical Christianity in the United States. This book shines a light on one particular sub-set of it, without getting preachy OR condescending. It's an intriguing way to approach the idea of divinity, but this isn't really a book about struggling with your faith; it's a book about human communication and emotion. It's a book about the choices parents make, and the changes (physiological and psychological) that take us by surprise, and the sweet relief of truly understanding something or someone for the first time. But ultimately, Lay It On My Heart is a book about self-preservation. And I'm so grateful I got to watch Charmaine's independent spirit take flight.
August 21, 2014
Lay It On My Heart is a rare, lovely novel. It is about, and from the point of view of, a teenage girl, yet maturely and beautiful written for grownups. It is about and set in a rural Kentucky community populated mostly by Evangelical Christians, but written with such sensitivity that any reader could relate. It’s about the breakdown of a family and the coming-of-age of an individual, and it eschews all clichés about both.
Everyone in East Winder, Kentucky, knows Charmaine Peake, an only child who has just turned 13. She lives with her impatient, long-suffering mother Phoebe, while her father, David, a scion of a religious family who thinks of himself as a prophet, drops out of modern life to live on faith. When a bad case of poison ivy, exacerbated by fasting and Biblical thinking, lands him in the hospital, he and his family have to confront the fine line between dedication and delusion.
With no money, Charmaine and her mother rent out their house and move to a cramped, remote trailer-cabin. Phoebe struggles to string together enough substitute teaching jobs to keep the bill collectors at bay and buy an occasional McDonald’s hamburger for herself and the daughter who feels increasingly alien just when she needs her most. Meanwhile, Charmaine must navigate the treacheries of adolescence—demanding teachers, profane classmates, and a messy, painful, ever-changing body that mirrors her increasingly fraught relationship with her mother—and at the same time wrestle with existential questions about her father and her faith.
When Charmaine’s pious but practical grandma falls ill and her beloved black cat disappears, the reader wonders how much farther she has to fall, and whether, in her position, anyone would be able to get back up.
In a different kind of novel, Charmaine would find a portal to another dimension or, previously dormant inside her, a hidden magical talent. Almost certainly a boy who appreciates her quirky intelligence would help her cope. Lay It On My Heart provides its narrator with no such crutch. Charmaine’s romantic prospects include an older disabled boy with a foul mouth and a condescending missionary’s son, and both teach her less about love than lust, its gritty, compelling, but complicated underside.
With effort, Charmaine begins to realize what she can control, and what resources, inner and outer, she can draw on: new friends, a new perspective on the universe, and a deeper respect for her own capacity as a resilient, independent human being. As well as any book in recent memory, Lay It On My Heart explores the way that adolescence is one long paradox, as embodied in the word “cleave”:
(Via my review for Barnes & Noble)
Everyone in East Winder, Kentucky, knows Charmaine Peake, an only child who has just turned 13. She lives with her impatient, long-suffering mother Phoebe, while her father, David, a scion of a religious family who thinks of himself as a prophet, drops out of modern life to live on faith. When a bad case of poison ivy, exacerbated by fasting and Biblical thinking, lands him in the hospital, he and his family have to confront the fine line between dedication and delusion.
With no money, Charmaine and her mother rent out their house and move to a cramped, remote trailer-cabin. Phoebe struggles to string together enough substitute teaching jobs to keep the bill collectors at bay and buy an occasional McDonald’s hamburger for herself and the daughter who feels increasingly alien just when she needs her most. Meanwhile, Charmaine must navigate the treacheries of adolescence—demanding teachers, profane classmates, and a messy, painful, ever-changing body that mirrors her increasingly fraught relationship with her mother—and at the same time wrestle with existential questions about her father and her faith.
When Charmaine’s pious but practical grandma falls ill and her beloved black cat disappears, the reader wonders how much farther she has to fall, and whether, in her position, anyone would be able to get back up.
In a different kind of novel, Charmaine would find a portal to another dimension or, previously dormant inside her, a hidden magical talent. Almost certainly a boy who appreciates her quirky intelligence would help her cope. Lay It On My Heart provides its narrator with no such crutch. Charmaine’s romantic prospects include an older disabled boy with a foul mouth and a condescending missionary’s son, and both teach her less about love than lust, its gritty, compelling, but complicated underside.
With effort, Charmaine begins to realize what she can control, and what resources, inner and outer, she can draw on: new friends, a new perspective on the universe, and a deeper respect for her own capacity as a resilient, independent human being. As well as any book in recent memory, Lay It On My Heart explores the way that adolescence is one long paradox, as embodied in the word “cleave”:
I thought I understood the meaning of the word, which can be ‘to sever’ just as much as ‘to cling,’ a perfect word that contains its opposite, but now I understand something else: that it can mean both of these things at the same time.
(Via my review for Barnes & Noble)
July 14, 2014
This book really surprised me. The story of a single event-laden month in the life of a 13-year-old Kentucky preacher's daughter, "Lay It on My Heart" actually gets a lot of stuff right. About small towns. About poverty. About religion. About mental illness.
The only thing I really regretted about this book is that it ended too soon. I wanted to know more about the life of Charmaine Peake.
The only thing I really regretted about this book is that it ended too soon. I wanted to know more about the life of Charmaine Peake.
June 26, 2014
Just won this book from a Goodreads Giveaway. Can't wait to read it!! I will update my review as I go.
Updated:
Okay. Perhaps I'm not the target audience. This book was a drag for me. The first 60 pages focused exclusively on "God" debates between anyone and everyone, Charmaine's "prophet" father, and Charmaine's menstrual cycle. As a man without a strong religious leaning one way or the other, I couldn't connect to ANYONE in this book. The only character that moved me at all was Phoebe, Charmaine's over-sharing mother. Despite her faults, that woman did everything she could to try and keep a roof over her family's head. I respect that. Otherwise, I felt all the characters were naive and unrealistic.
The story was written well, however. Ms. Pneuman is a talented wordsmith and I wouldn't mind reading something else by her in the future. I will never read this particular book again, but I'm glad to have found Angela Pneuman.
Overall, I feel this book would speak best to a woman with strong opinions on God and religion. Unfortunately, that is not me... at all.
Updated:
Okay. Perhaps I'm not the target audience. This book was a drag for me. The first 60 pages focused exclusively on "God" debates between anyone and everyone, Charmaine's "prophet" father, and Charmaine's menstrual cycle. As a man without a strong religious leaning one way or the other, I couldn't connect to ANYONE in this book. The only character that moved me at all was Phoebe, Charmaine's over-sharing mother. Despite her faults, that woman did everything she could to try and keep a roof over her family's head. I respect that. Otherwise, I felt all the characters were naive and unrealistic.
The story was written well, however. Ms. Pneuman is a talented wordsmith and I wouldn't mind reading something else by her in the future. I will never read this particular book again, but I'm glad to have found Angela Pneuman.
Overall, I feel this book would speak best to a woman with strong opinions on God and religion. Unfortunately, that is not me... at all.
July 24, 2014
I love books that are both clear and a bit muddled at the same time, and this beautiful book was exactly that. Like our young protagonist's life, the story is at turns bright and dark, elegant and dirty, straightforward and obscured. Charmaine's story--the story of all these characters, really--moves you without pandering to anyone. The writing is easy to flow through and yet also very poetic, even philosophical in many parts, but without seeming odd since we're in the third person limited POV of an adolescent girl. That Angela Pneuman pulls that off is a testament to her writing skill, and something that makes me want to read more of her work. I enjoyed this book very much and recommend it to anyone who likes good literary fiction.
December 21, 2014
3.5 stars. A quick read that grabs your attention but won't let go. I read this book after reading a very popular thriller that was full of twists and turns with every page this was pretty much the opposite. It's hard to put in words why I couldn't put this book down but I couldn't until I finished it.
It's the type of story where after a few lines in you really start to care for and get to know more about the characters either because you can relate to them in some way or the beautiful writing pulls you into this world of theirs and you become the characters and see life through their eyes.
April 21, 2014
This was a very good book and worth reading! It's very engaging and the story takes you in and you find yourself not wanting to put the book down! A must-read!
*won onGoodReads First Reads*
*won onGoodReads First Reads*
June 12, 2014
*Won on GoodReads First Reads*
Thirteen year old Charmaine is a pretty average teenage girl. She struggles with adjusting to her new middle school, adapting to her changing body, and not wanting to say “I love you” to her mother. However, when Charmaine's presumed-prophet father is revealed to be mentally ill, Charmine faces challenges that no middle-schooler should need to face. Confronted with the truth, Charmine is forced to think through her relationship with God, her mother, and the world around her.
Angela Pneuman gives a stunningly complex view of what it is like to love someone mentally ill. Charmaine's attempts to compete with God and then mental illness for her father's love are absolutely heart-breaking, and are sure to hit home with a number of readers. Pneuman also does an excellent job of writing a protagonist just emerging from childhood. Charmaine is just as grumpy as I was at thirteen, yet she remains sympathetic. Her inner struggles between what she wants to do and what she feels she should do are elaborated over and over again in a highly relatable way. I am impressed with many of the things Pneuman does it Lay it on my Heart, but frankly – I am more impressed with what she doesn't do.
When I first read the back of the book, I was afraid that it would either be an author tract or feature an author tract prominently. I was not sure if said tract would be atheist in nature or Christian in nature, but I wasn't excited either way. Luckily there wasn't any of that nonsense going on (at least from what I noticed). The story is first and foremost a coming-of-age story. It is (in part) about Charmaine's struggle with faith, not about faith or lack thereof in general.
Secondly, while the novel has a few male characters, all the prominent characters are highly complex females. Though Charmaine's “lust” is discussed, it takes a back-seat to the point of not even really being a subplot. As someone who's seen a thousand perfectly good stories ruined by a romance, it was nice to see romance on the back burner, especially in a young adult novel.
I hope to read more work of Pneuman's in the future.
Thirteen year old Charmaine is a pretty average teenage girl. She struggles with adjusting to her new middle school, adapting to her changing body, and not wanting to say “I love you” to her mother. However, when Charmaine's presumed-prophet father is revealed to be mentally ill, Charmine faces challenges that no middle-schooler should need to face. Confronted with the truth, Charmine is forced to think through her relationship with God, her mother, and the world around her.
Angela Pneuman gives a stunningly complex view of what it is like to love someone mentally ill. Charmaine's attempts to compete with God and then mental illness for her father's love are absolutely heart-breaking, and are sure to hit home with a number of readers. Pneuman also does an excellent job of writing a protagonist just emerging from childhood. Charmaine is just as grumpy as I was at thirteen, yet she remains sympathetic. Her inner struggles between what she wants to do and what she feels she should do are elaborated over and over again in a highly relatable way. I am impressed with many of the things Pneuman does it Lay it on my Heart, but frankly – I am more impressed with what she doesn't do.
When I first read the back of the book, I was afraid that it would either be an author tract or feature an author tract prominently. I was not sure if said tract would be atheist in nature or Christian in nature, but I wasn't excited either way. Luckily there wasn't any of that nonsense going on (at least from what I noticed). The story is first and foremost a coming-of-age story. It is (in part) about Charmaine's struggle with faith, not about faith or lack thereof in general.
Secondly, while the novel has a few male characters, all the prominent characters are highly complex females. Though Charmaine's “lust” is discussed, it takes a back-seat to the point of not even really being a subplot. As someone who's seen a thousand perfectly good stories ruined by a romance, it was nice to see romance on the back burner, especially in a young adult novel.
I hope to read more work of Pneuman's in the future.
July 21, 2021
In August of 1989, 13 year old Charmaine Peake is waiting. Waiting for her father to return from his year away on a religious journey; waiting to begin high school, and waiting (now that her period has started) to see what being a woman is all about. Her father returns, but isn't the same and within days, is in the hospital and then a mental ward. Her mother, Phoebe, must rent-out their house and work even more to keep them from starving. Charmaine struggles to make sense of it all while navigating high school and tries to figure-out Seth (the boy whose missionary parents have rented their home) and Cecil (a physically deformed boy who is a bully (!) and hyper-sexual). Her father is manic-depressive and never really regains his old "self". Her mother blames him for her wasted life, yet cares for him when he needs her. Charmaine goes on to become a social worker (no shock there) but that's all we learn.
This is a short book with a lot of content. Obviously, the religious tones are the overwhelming theme of the book. The title comes from when God allegedly laid Phoebe on David's heart when he first saw her as the one he should marry. The whole "constant prayer" thing David wanted Charmaine to do was very annoying. And, the message (to me) was that even if you pray and try your hardest to be good, bad things are still going to happen and you can't change any of it. Her mom was "stuck" with David forever - with him living in a tent while she was stuck in an RV. How is that fair for a woman who "honored" her husband and followed his call from God? Charmaine also didn't seem very strong - even in the end when she went on the water tower. She was totally apologetic to Phoebe that same night, so what was the point? It was an interesting story, bu never really went anywhere - or at least anywhere with any meaning for me.
This is a short book with a lot of content. Obviously, the religious tones are the overwhelming theme of the book. The title comes from when God allegedly laid Phoebe on David's heart when he first saw her as the one he should marry. The whole "constant prayer" thing David wanted Charmaine to do was very annoying. And, the message (to me) was that even if you pray and try your hardest to be good, bad things are still going to happen and you can't change any of it. Her mom was "stuck" with David forever - with him living in a tent while she was stuck in an RV. How is that fair for a woman who "honored" her husband and followed his call from God? Charmaine also didn't seem very strong - even in the end when she went on the water tower. She was totally apologetic to Phoebe that same night, so what was the point? It was an interesting story, bu never really went anywhere - or at least anywhere with any meaning for me.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
November 7, 2014
13 year-old Charmaine Peake has more to cope with than you might expect. Her father is a self-proclaimed prophet. He comes home from a pilgrimage to the Holy Land stark raving mad and ends up in the psych ward. Charmaine and her mother, Phoebe have to move to a small cabin in the woods. Phoebe is very needy, and Charmaine feels rather suffocated. They are under considerable financial strain. When Charmaine makes the transition to junior high, she is fearful her hand-me-down clothes and growing bosom will make her stand out. One of her techniques for dealing with things is something she learned from her father -- constant prayer.
Set in Kentucky, the novel brings forth an extremely Biblical, Christian culture, the one that Charmaine was raised in but has started to question. This is a vivid and painful portrait of adolescence. Thank goodness Charmaine makes a few friends at school, for she very much needs to feel accepted and loved beyond the smothering love of her mother. Her father barely acknowledges her existence, but there is some growth on that front during his stay in rehab. SPOILER ALERT: I really appreciated the way the author ended the book, portraying Charmaine as a young adult who has made it through college and become a social worker. Lay It On My Heart seemed at time to be more of a YA story than adult, but being so deftly psychological, I think it suits both audiences -- that is if adults can bear to live through the extremes of Charmaine's tortured existence.
Set in Kentucky, the novel brings forth an extremely Biblical, Christian culture, the one that Charmaine was raised in but has started to question. This is a vivid and painful portrait of adolescence. Thank goodness Charmaine makes a few friends at school, for she very much needs to feel accepted and loved beyond the smothering love of her mother. Her father barely acknowledges her existence, but there is some growth on that front during his stay in rehab. SPOILER ALERT: I really appreciated the way the author ended the book, portraying Charmaine as a young adult who has made it through college and become a social worker. Lay It On My Heart seemed at time to be more of a YA story than adult, but being so deftly psychological, I think it suits both audiences -- that is if adults can bear to live through the extremes of Charmaine's tortured existence.
January 20, 2021
I'm not sure what rating to give this book....yet. The writing was great, strong character development and the story and its layers sneak up on you. Growing up in the South, this book brought back memories....I cannot remember buying this book, but I'm glad it got into my hands.
January 17, 2016
Beautifully written and ultimately satisfying story, if you can survive the extreme religiosity that plagues Charmaine's life until about the last tenth of the book.
February 10, 2017
this novel is a true masterpiece -- original and profoundly moving. Brava.
February 7, 2014
Fabulous read! Buy this book!!
September 26, 2024
I travel down to the S.F. bay area a few times a year to see my older daughter and visit friends. Last time I went, my old friend Lynda (I can call her old because we share a birthday) insisted I take this book and read it because she thought it was terrific and just knew I would too. Three months later, I ran out of books and finally picked this one up. She was right; I think it's terrific.
The thing about Lynda and me is that we've been friends for 50 years, and, interestingly, we were brought up very differently. She was raised in a family of financially comfortable secular Jews; I was in a family of financially unstable pentecostal evangelicals. The reason I mention this is that it seems to speak of the ability of Angela Pneuman to illustrate the power of the idea that the personal is universal. This may be stretched at times, but I think it has several grains of truth.
In this coming-of-age novel, I suspected that Pneuman was writing from a place of personal knowledge from the title alone. I have heard phrases like, "The Lord laid it on my heart...." many, many times growing up in church. And that was just the beginning: the obsessive desire to perfectly execute a biblical exhortation, the dividing people into saved/unsaved categories, the 'trust God and leaders no matter what' rule - I continually ran into details that reminded me of what it was like to be immersed in a religious group such as I knew. Mine wasn't quite as radical as in the book, but the book was totally believable to me.
As Charmaine, the narrator, navigates the normal rough waters of adolescence, she also has to contend with the failures of the adults who surround her. Most parents do have moments, or even seasons, of failure. Charmaine illustrates one way that children deal with this reality. Again, to me it was familiar and believable.
I read a few reviews before posting this, and opinions often differ. In my view, this is not a bad thing.
The thing about Lynda and me is that we've been friends for 50 years, and, interestingly, we were brought up very differently. She was raised in a family of financially comfortable secular Jews; I was in a family of financially unstable pentecostal evangelicals. The reason I mention this is that it seems to speak of the ability of Angela Pneuman to illustrate the power of the idea that the personal is universal. This may be stretched at times, but I think it has several grains of truth.
In this coming-of-age novel, I suspected that Pneuman was writing from a place of personal knowledge from the title alone. I have heard phrases like, "The Lord laid it on my heart...." many, many times growing up in church. And that was just the beginning: the obsessive desire to perfectly execute a biblical exhortation, the dividing people into saved/unsaved categories, the 'trust God and leaders no matter what' rule - I continually ran into details that reminded me of what it was like to be immersed in a religious group such as I knew. Mine wasn't quite as radical as in the book, but the book was totally believable to me.
As Charmaine, the narrator, navigates the normal rough waters of adolescence, she also has to contend with the failures of the adults who surround her. Most parents do have moments, or even seasons, of failure. Charmaine illustrates one way that children deal with this reality. Again, to me it was familiar and believable.
I read a few reviews before posting this, and opinions often differ. In my view, this is not a bad thing.
June 16, 2022
I selected this new author (to me) because of the description "a funny and moving coming of age novel". But honestly, I found very little 'funny' portions.
What I did find was a remarkably descriptive mother -daughter relationship unfolding from one crisis/butting of personalities to another. And I felt that each of them needed both someone to send them separately to time-outs and to offer big warm hugs.
Charmaine is the only child of the last of a line of local holy men in a seminary town of Kentucky. The story takes place within the late summer of hot August days. The descriptions of youth group gatherings and excitement did ring a bell within me, but the evangelical enthusiasm was quite different. The exchanges between Charmaine and her 'prophet' father are enough to warp any seventh grader. Add to that the poverty she must endure and the strain it puts on her stressed- beyond- belief mother..... a tough life that seems unbearable... but strong, wise Charmaine 'finds strength through real friendship and the power of discovery of accepting of who she is'.
Quotes:
1) (Charmaine).. "I'm getting the idea that every person on earth is their own black hole, and if you get too close you get sucked right in. Meanness can pull you close just like love does, but once you're there, once you see what's inside, you've hit the point of no return and you've got to carry it all, dense as a brick, heavy on your heart."
2) (Charmaine)... "I thought I understood the meaning of the word CLEAVE, which can be 'to sever' just as much as 'to cling', a perfect word from our Bible that contains its opposite, but now I understand something else: that it can mean both of these things at the same time."
What I did find was a remarkably descriptive mother -daughter relationship unfolding from one crisis/butting of personalities to another. And I felt that each of them needed both someone to send them separately to time-outs and to offer big warm hugs.
Charmaine is the only child of the last of a line of local holy men in a seminary town of Kentucky. The story takes place within the late summer of hot August days. The descriptions of youth group gatherings and excitement did ring a bell within me, but the evangelical enthusiasm was quite different. The exchanges between Charmaine and her 'prophet' father are enough to warp any seventh grader. Add to that the poverty she must endure and the strain it puts on her stressed- beyond- belief mother..... a tough life that seems unbearable... but strong, wise Charmaine 'finds strength through real friendship and the power of discovery of accepting of who she is'.
Quotes:
1) (Charmaine).. "I'm getting the idea that every person on earth is their own black hole, and if you get too close you get sucked right in. Meanness can pull you close just like love does, but once you're there, once you see what's inside, you've hit the point of no return and you've got to carry it all, dense as a brick, heavy on your heart."
2) (Charmaine)... "I thought I understood the meaning of the word CLEAVE, which can be 'to sever' just as much as 'to cling', a perfect word from our Bible that contains its opposite, but now I understand something else: that it can mean both of these things at the same time."
June 1, 2023
Compelling family drama that focuses primarily on the mother-daughter relationship. Charmaine is the 13 year-old daughter of a somewhat famous preacher in a very rural and poverty-stricken town in Kentucky, where everyone knows everyone else's business. When her father is committed for mental illness, Charmaine and her mother must navigate their relationship alone. There are some strange characters and some loveable ones in this novel (who can't love Charmaine's grandmother, Daze?). This book is focused on relationships and moves slowly and the ending is a bit disappointing (a kind of n0n-ending, where it's unclear how this family will survive), but it was still worth reading.
June 9, 2023
Disappointing
Warning… spoiler ahead.
I trudged through this book hoping for a decent ending. Unfortunately, it felt like the author just got tired of writing and abruptly wrapped up the book. After what felt like a book of mostly mundane details, the ending skips ahead and leaves so many questions unanswered. The worst part for me was the lost cat. As an animal lover, this ruined the entire story for me. In summary, this was just a boring depressing book with a crap ending.
Warning… spoiler ahead.
I trudged through this book hoping for a decent ending. Unfortunately, it felt like the author just got tired of writing and abruptly wrapped up the book. After what felt like a book of mostly mundane details, the ending skips ahead and leaves so many questions unanswered. The worst part for me was the lost cat. As an animal lover, this ruined the entire story for me. In summary, this was just a boring depressing book with a crap ending.
October 20, 2022
This is a coming of age story and an invite into mental illness. What does a young girl do when all she has ever known to be true is actually the result of her fathers very sick king. What does a child on the cusp of puberty do when her body betrays her belief in god. What does a teenager do when she fears for her parents love or she tries to separate from a mother she needs more than she wants to. A beautiful story.
June 19, 2024
Charmaine is a 13-year-old growing up in rural, evangelical Kentucky. The year is 1989. Her father, home from a year in the Middle East roaming the Holy Land, breaks down and is diagnosed with a chemical brain imbalance. Charmaine and her mother are left to scrape by as best they can, and a heart-tugger of a story unfolds. The story unwraps itself slowly, and I felt it was left unfinished, but maybe that's a good thing.
September 4, 2023
This poor teenage girl is trying so hard to live up to what she thinks her father would approve of but that is a moving target, an impossible task. All her life she has been lead to believe that her father has the answers and then that is ripped away and she has to mourn her father as dead even though he is alive. That is the kind of realization that can make or break a person.
April 16, 2018
Lay it on my Heart by Angela Pneuman DNF don't like the way it was talking about religion.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
June 8, 2018
Loved it from start to finish!
July 2, 2019
Maybe because I am not religious anymore, but damn I had to force myself to finish this slow burn.
August 13, 2022
4.5 stars. I really, really enjoyed this book. It's a coming of age novel written in exquisite prose. I flew through it and could have read another hundred pages.
March 15, 2023
It’s nice but not my cup of tea.
August 20, 2023
At first, I almost put this down and said no. Then I didn't give up and it turned out to be a very, very good book.
September 17, 2014
Besides the inauthentic mutterings that exposition masks itself in, besides the diary-like inclusion of every banal event in a teenager's life, besides the blatant attempts at deriving significance and literary depth out of every (hyperbole) little action, and even besides the sudden, unearned, and unresolved plot twists, Angela Pneuman's debut novel, Lay it on my Heart, is a decent read.
Lay it on my Heart is the story of a seemingly normal teenage girl, Charmaine Peake, who lives under abnormal circumstances. She resides in East Winder, a strongly religious town in Kentucky, though that's not the strange part. Her father, David, is a self-proclaimed prophet who has just returned, unwashed and fully bearded, from the holy land. He believes that ceaseless prayer and faith alone will provide, but that's not enough for Charmaine and her mother, who Charmaine addresses as Phoebe. Although they love their prophet, and Charmaine in some ways idolizes him, the mother and daughter must find their own way when David is admitted into a care facility for the mentally ill. During this time of separation, Charmaine struggles with the meaning of her faith and the lifestyle of ceaseless prayer. She struggles with empathizing with subjects of her disgust, of her curiosity, and of her desire. And, as a thirteen year-old who recently had her first period, she encounters uncertainty and insecurity as she discovers her sexuality. Pneuman's book is a coming of age story fit for the teenage girl who feels out of place.
However, you, dear reader, who has a palate for well-crafted sentences, who studies the likes of Tim O'Brien or Toni Morrison or Annie Dillard or Truman Capote; you, who enjoys expounding the intricacies of an allegory or a motif or a character's stunningly poignant development when pressured by a real world, might be more satisfied reading something else.
Let us begin with the dialogue. We can dismiss the uniformity of the characters' speech. Geographic proximity forms speech patterns. Many great writers recognize this and reflect that in their (still unique) characters. However, Angela Pneuman uses dialogue like a cheap wh—wait a minute, this is a review for a YA novel—thing in an attempt to insert facts about a situation that, apparently, Pneuman deemed appropriate to inject, out of context, into a conversation. Take, for example, this line: "'That's where all the churches are,' says the girl. 'Have you ever thought about growing your hair out?'" (85). Even the character is quick to change the subject, presumably embarrassed that such an obvious fact was said aloud.
Despite the exampled fact's relevance and importance to the plot, it wades in a sea of irrelevance. Pneuman's writing style mimics that of a teenage diarist. It is sometimes difficult, without hindsight, to distinguish between relevant information to the plot, or even the ambience of the scene, and filler.
Angela Pneuman possibly recognized this, to which she deserves some credit. However, her remedy was not to edit and to rewrite, but rather to add a litany of similes in the form of phrases beginning with 'as if.' Every character acts out common (and sometimes trivial) actions as if they are sending secret messages to the narrator. It is as if Pneuman couldn't write characters with enough complexity without blatantly telling the reader what she wants the characters to mean. It is as if 'as if' never becomes tedious. A critical reader understands tediousness after reading this book.
The structure of the plot lacks in urgency and tension. The reader follows almost every moment of Charmaine's life. More than a few times, part of a chapter is organized by time markers such as, "In first period...In second period...In third period." You get the idea. And within this mundane narrative, like clockwork, a shocking and unprecedented (and unearned on the part of the narration) event occurs. (I do not want to spoil the plot for you, dear reader, especially because plot is the one and only thing supporting this novel. Therefore, I will not detail what kinds of shocking and unprecedented events occur. I hope that you will trust my assessment.) These events attempt to drive the plot forward and to challenge the characters, but ultimately fail to reveal anything meaningful. Furthermore, one of these shockers remains entirely unresolved by the end of the book; the characters even respond to it like simulacra.
For its many shortcomings, Angela Pneuman's debut novel, Lay it on my Heart, redeems itself within the realm of Young Adult "literature," questionable quotations intended. Primarily, teenage girls, who typically ignore literary craft for plot, can still find the book relatable in some ways, which is all a misunderstood, angst-ridden teen really needs.
Lay it on my Heart is the story of a seemingly normal teenage girl, Charmaine Peake, who lives under abnormal circumstances. She resides in East Winder, a strongly religious town in Kentucky, though that's not the strange part. Her father, David, is a self-proclaimed prophet who has just returned, unwashed and fully bearded, from the holy land. He believes that ceaseless prayer and faith alone will provide, but that's not enough for Charmaine and her mother, who Charmaine addresses as Phoebe. Although they love their prophet, and Charmaine in some ways idolizes him, the mother and daughter must find their own way when David is admitted into a care facility for the mentally ill. During this time of separation, Charmaine struggles with the meaning of her faith and the lifestyle of ceaseless prayer. She struggles with empathizing with subjects of her disgust, of her curiosity, and of her desire. And, as a thirteen year-old who recently had her first period, she encounters uncertainty and insecurity as she discovers her sexuality. Pneuman's book is a coming of age story fit for the teenage girl who feels out of place.
However, you, dear reader, who has a palate for well-crafted sentences, who studies the likes of Tim O'Brien or Toni Morrison or Annie Dillard or Truman Capote; you, who enjoys expounding the intricacies of an allegory or a motif or a character's stunningly poignant development when pressured by a real world, might be more satisfied reading something else.
Let us begin with the dialogue. We can dismiss the uniformity of the characters' speech. Geographic proximity forms speech patterns. Many great writers recognize this and reflect that in their (still unique) characters. However, Angela Pneuman uses dialogue like a cheap wh—wait a minute, this is a review for a YA novel—thing in an attempt to insert facts about a situation that, apparently, Pneuman deemed appropriate to inject, out of context, into a conversation. Take, for example, this line: "'That's where all the churches are,' says the girl. 'Have you ever thought about growing your hair out?'" (85). Even the character is quick to change the subject, presumably embarrassed that such an obvious fact was said aloud.
Despite the exampled fact's relevance and importance to the plot, it wades in a sea of irrelevance. Pneuman's writing style mimics that of a teenage diarist. It is sometimes difficult, without hindsight, to distinguish between relevant information to the plot, or even the ambience of the scene, and filler.
Angela Pneuman possibly recognized this, to which she deserves some credit. However, her remedy was not to edit and to rewrite, but rather to add a litany of similes in the form of phrases beginning with 'as if.' Every character acts out common (and sometimes trivial) actions as if they are sending secret messages to the narrator. It is as if Pneuman couldn't write characters with enough complexity without blatantly telling the reader what she wants the characters to mean. It is as if 'as if' never becomes tedious. A critical reader understands tediousness after reading this book.
The structure of the plot lacks in urgency and tension. The reader follows almost every moment of Charmaine's life. More than a few times, part of a chapter is organized by time markers such as, "In first period...In second period...In third period." You get the idea. And within this mundane narrative, like clockwork, a shocking and unprecedented (and unearned on the part of the narration) event occurs. (I do not want to spoil the plot for you, dear reader, especially because plot is the one and only thing supporting this novel. Therefore, I will not detail what kinds of shocking and unprecedented events occur. I hope that you will trust my assessment.) These events attempt to drive the plot forward and to challenge the characters, but ultimately fail to reveal anything meaningful. Furthermore, one of these shockers remains entirely unresolved by the end of the book; the characters even respond to it like simulacra.
For its many shortcomings, Angela Pneuman's debut novel, Lay it on my Heart, redeems itself within the realm of Young Adult "literature," questionable quotations intended. Primarily, teenage girls, who typically ignore literary craft for plot, can still find the book relatable in some ways, which is all a misunderstood, angst-ridden teen really needs.
December 22, 2015
Lay it on My Heart tells the story of Charmaine Peake-a young girl going through puberty. As if that were not tragic enough, Charmaine's father, David, returns from Jerusalem and it is clear that his mental illness has worsened. The first few pages of the book describe David as a self proclaimed prophet who takes Bible scriptures literally. He has decided that his family will live on Faith alone. Obviously, this means that the family is quite poor and living off the kindness of the community. Charmaine's mother Phoebe also has a secret job, which indicates that she is not completely on board with David's literal interpretation of scripture.
This division between Charmaine's parents becomes a huge burden on Charmaine. She is a young girl seeking her father's approval by trying to be just as devout and religious as he appears to be unknowing that the root of his religious zeal is mental illness. Her mother, Phoebe, chooses to conceal this information and depends heavily on her daughter for friendship and companionship. As I mentioned, Charmaine is going through puberty and her body is developing quickly. The family cannot afford clothes for her, so she is trapped in garments that are too tight as well as in a small space with a mother whose moods indicate that she may be suffering from bipolar disorder.
Phoebe goes from begging her daughter to love her, to the verge of having an affair and defending her reasons to young Charmaine, to trying to mother her in a rather intimate way in one uncomfortable scene. The scenes at McDonald's are the absolute worst and I love how the author, Pneuman, uses other people in the fast food restaurant to illustrate how ridiculous Phoebe's behavior is, but it sad, because the same scenes highlight Charmaine's shame.
By the end of the story, Charmaine seems to "come into herself." That's a phrase that I hear and read a lot. For me, it means that she goes from the quiet suffering felt earlier in the book to finding a bit of power and harnessing it. Overall, I think it is a good read and deserves five solid stars.
This division between Charmaine's parents becomes a huge burden on Charmaine. She is a young girl seeking her father's approval by trying to be just as devout and religious as he appears to be unknowing that the root of his religious zeal is mental illness. Her mother, Phoebe, chooses to conceal this information and depends heavily on her daughter for friendship and companionship. As I mentioned, Charmaine is going through puberty and her body is developing quickly. The family cannot afford clothes for her, so she is trapped in garments that are too tight as well as in a small space with a mother whose moods indicate that she may be suffering from bipolar disorder.
Phoebe goes from begging her daughter to love her, to the verge of having an affair and defending her reasons to young Charmaine, to trying to mother her in a rather intimate way in one uncomfortable scene. The scenes at McDonald's are the absolute worst and I love how the author, Pneuman, uses other people in the fast food restaurant to illustrate how ridiculous Phoebe's behavior is, but it sad, because the same scenes highlight Charmaine's shame.
By the end of the story, Charmaine seems to "come into herself." That's a phrase that I hear and read a lot. For me, it means that she goes from the quiet suffering felt earlier in the book to finding a bit of power and harnessing it. Overall, I think it is a good read and deserves five solid stars.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
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