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224 pages, Paperback
First published July 1, 1957

Both author and protagonist describe alcoholic hallucinosis – a relatively rare complication of prolonged alcohol abuse which involves the development of psychotic symptoms. In heavy drinkers the disorder tends to occur in the tailing-off phase of a binge rather than on stopping completely, and is characterised by auditory hallucinations.
The self-parodying way in which Waugh unfolds the hilarity and humiliation of Pinfold’s journey belies the imaginable horror of his own experiences. Writing to his wife Laura from his own cruise he describes the “acute persecution mania” from which he is suffering and the discomfort of hearing malevolent voices repeating everything he has thought or read. By this point of his life Waugh had alienated himself from his friends and frittered away most of his money. Service as a Royal Marine in wartime, and supporting his second wife, six children, and an alcohol habit had taken its toll and, like Gilbert Pinfold, the voices heard at sea probably speak of a myriad of unconscious fears. For Pinfold there are questions about sexuality, religious belief, fascism, alcoholism, literary mediocrity, and a death wish. For Waugh we wonder to what extent these are shared.
"You'll not be my little Mimi ever again, any more after tonight and I'll not forget it. You're a woman now and have set your heart on a man like a woman should. The choice is yours not mine. He's old for you but there's good in that. Many a young couple spend a wretched fortnight together through not knowing how to set about what must be done. And an old man can show you better than a young one. He'll be gentler and kinder and cleaner; and then, when the right time comes you in your turn can teach a younger man -- and that's how the art of love is learned and the breed survives. I'd like dearly to be the one myself to teach you, but you've made your own choice and who's to grudge it you?...But for God's sake come on parade like a soldier. Get yourself cleaned up. Wash your face, brush your hair, take your clothes off."
"Gilbert Pinfold," he heard, "poses a precisely antithetical problem, or shall we say? the same problem arises in antithetical form. The basic qualities of a Pinfold novel never vary and they may be enumerated thus: conventionality of plot, falseness of characterisation, morbid sentimentality, gross and hackneyed farce alternating with grosser and more hackneyed melodrama; cloying religiosity, which will be found tedious or blasphemous according as the reader shares or repudiates his doctrinal preconceptions; an adventitious and offensive sensuality that is clearly introduced for commercial motives. All this is presented in a style which, when it varies from the trite, lapses into positive illiteracy."
One night they tried to soothe him by playing a record specially made by Swiss scientists for the purpose. These savants had decided from experiments made in a sanatorium for neurotic factory workers that the most soporific noises were those of a factory. Mr. Pinfold's cabin resounded to the roar and clang of a factory.
"You bloody fools," he cried, "I'm not a factory worker. You're driving me mad."
"No, no Gilbert, you are mad already, " said the duty-officer. "We're driving you sane."
The (Scandinavian) woman now leant across and said in thick, rather arch tones:
"There are two books of yours in the ship's library, I find."
"Ah."
"I have taken one. It is called The Last Card."
"The Lost Chord," said Mr. Pinfold.
"Yes. It is a humorous book, yes?"
"Some people have suggested as much."
"I find it so. Is it not your suggestion also? I think you have a peculiar sense of humour, Mr. Pinfold."
"Ah."
"That is what you are known for, yes? Your peculiar sense of humour?"
"Perhaps."
"May I have it after you?" asked Mrs. Scarfield. "Everyone says I have a peculiar sense of humour too."
"But not so peculiar as Mr. Pinfold?"
"That remains to be seen," said Mrs. Scarfield.
"I think you're embarrassing the author," said Mr. Scarfield.
"I expect he's used to it," she said.
"He takes it all with his peculiar sense of humour," said the foreign lady.
"If you'll excuse me," said Mr. Pinfold, struggling to rise.
"You see he is embarrassed."
"No," said the foreign lady. "It is his humour. He is going to make notes of us. You see, we shall all be in a humorous book."
Mr. Pinfold fought back with the enemy's weapons (and) set out to wear them down with sheer boredom. He took a copy of Westward Ho! from the ship's library and read it very slowly hour by hour.
(I)n that moment of solitude prosaic, Mr. Pinfold had been one with hashish-eaters, and Corybantes and Californian Gurus, high on the back-stairs of mysticism.
Mr. Pinfold sat down to work for the first time since his fiftieth birthday. He took the pile of manuscript, his unfinished novel, from the drawer and glanced through it. The story was still clear in his mind. He knew what had to be done. But there was more business first, a hamper to be unpacked of fresh, rich experience—perishable goods. He returned the manuscript to the drawer, spread a new quire of foolscap before him and wrote in his neat steady hand
The Ordeal of Gilbert Pinfold
A Conversation Piece
Chapter One
Portrait of the Artist in Middle Age