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How to Ruin Your Life By 30: Nine Surprisingly Everyday Mistakes You Might Be Making Right Now
Don’t snooze through your 20s. Most of us have an internal alarm clock that goes off when we’re about to make a bad decision. Yet some of us spend our 20s hitting the snooze button. Steve Farrar urges you to wake up so you don’t ruin your life by 30. Although the book title and chapter titles are ironic and humorous, the wisdom contained in this book is not to be taken lightly. Steve invites you to take seriously the choices you make in your 20s and learn from the mistakes of others rather than making your own. Steve also helps you recover from poor choices made in the past and make better ones in the future. So if you really want to ruin your life by 30, don’t read this book. Just keep hitting that snooze button. [Most of the text in his book originally appeared in How to Ruin Your Life by 40 , copyright 2006 by Steve Farrar.]
135 pages, Paperback
First published March 21, 2012
68 people are currently reading
483 people want to read
About the author
Steve Farrar
45 books54 followersSteve Farrar is the founder of Men’s Leadership Ministries. He holds a Master’s degree from Western Seminary, and an earned doctorate from Dallas Theological Seminary. Steve is the author of the best-selling book, Point Man: How a Man Can Lead His Family, God Built, Battle Ready, and True Courage. Steve Farrar resides in Texas with his family.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 74 reviews
May 11, 2012
DNF- I thought this would be a fun sarcastic read but one look at the table of contents and it said "if you want to ruin your life by 30...ignore God's purpose for your life...disregard what the Bible says about sex and marriage" I knew it was doomed. C'est la vie, it just frees up some space on the old kindle!
August 5, 2016
I picked this book because with a title like How to Ruin Your Life By 30, how can you not pick it up? Since I am in my twenties I thought this book would apply to me and I really enjoyed this short read. Only 135 pages this book is straight up advice on how not to ruin your life. Most of it is the obvious, don't make stupid decisions because they effect your life. Here are a few of the chapter's: Get off to a bad start, Ignore God's purpose for your life, Disregard what the Bible says about sex and marriage (and yes he does talk openly about this) among a few other things. These are all what not to do, because if this is how you live, it won't look good by the time you are thirty. I love how the author, Steve, implements what God wants in our lives with each chapter. Also, he does not condemn those who have done these things already. This book is directed to both men and women. The topic on marriage I thought was right on with finding a spouse and God's timing. While this book is not earth shattering information, I know all of these things, but it's a good reminder. This book started with Steve speaking to a graduating class and I think this is a great book for a new graduate or anyone in their twenties.
For a short humorous but realistic read, I highly recommend!!
"I received this book from MP Newsroom for free in exchange for an honest review."
For a short humorous but realistic read, I highly recommend!!
"I received this book from MP Newsroom for free in exchange for an honest review."
July 24, 2016
I purchased this book up at a used book fair several months ago and read it now because I needed something short to kick me out of the reading drought I've been in. The picture on the front cover creeps me out, but the content was much better than I anticipated.
If you want to ruin your life by the time you're 30: overlook the law of cause and effect, get off to a bad start, ignore God's purpose for your life, refuse to take responsibility for your actions, neglect your gifts and strengths when choosing a vocation, disregard what the Bible says about sex and marriage, stop learning, isolate yourself, refuse daily wisdom.
The title of this book worried me. I didn't really want to read a whole book on all the stupid things we young people often do to mess up our futures. Thankfully, the negative aspects of the content were mostly contained to the titles. The majority of the book focused on the right things to do in order to avoid the negatives.
We serve a gracious Master who knows how to overrule even our own mistakes to His glory and our own advantage.
I especially appreciated the section on free-will versus predestination as I felt the author very eloquently addressed both sides of that debate in a way that belittled neither.
The one section that I didn't appreciate as much was a few paragraphs in the "avoid sexual sin" section. The author was very blunt (not always a bad thing), but he also made some pretty black & white statements saying, "let me tell you exactly how far is too far." While I 100% agree that what he said is "too far" for a pre-marital relationship, the Bible draws no lines in the sand, so I'm not entirely comfortable with an individual doing so.
Overall, great book! I'm glad I grabbed it.
If you want to ruin your life by the time you're 30: overlook the law of cause and effect, get off to a bad start, ignore God's purpose for your life, refuse to take responsibility for your actions, neglect your gifts and strengths when choosing a vocation, disregard what the Bible says about sex and marriage, stop learning, isolate yourself, refuse daily wisdom.
The title of this book worried me. I didn't really want to read a whole book on all the stupid things we young people often do to mess up our futures. Thankfully, the negative aspects of the content were mostly contained to the titles. The majority of the book focused on the right things to do in order to avoid the negatives.
We serve a gracious Master who knows how to overrule even our own mistakes to His glory and our own advantage.
I especially appreciated the section on free-will versus predestination as I felt the author very eloquently addressed both sides of that debate in a way that belittled neither.
The one section that I didn't appreciate as much was a few paragraphs in the "avoid sexual sin" section. The author was very blunt (not always a bad thing), but he also made some pretty black & white statements saying, "let me tell you exactly how far is too far." While I 100% agree that what he said is "too far" for a pre-marital relationship, the Bible draws no lines in the sand, so I'm not entirely comfortable with an individual doing so.
Overall, great book! I'm glad I grabbed it.
April 6, 2015
Refreshingly blunt. Timelessly urgent. Truth.
April 11, 2018
80% of this book was very good. I had difficulty with rating it on a 5 star scale. I feel as though it was 3.5 rather than 3 or 4 stars. The concept was good, and the mini stories, and historical information (usually pertaining to a biography of one person or another) to back up the points in the chapter were insightful and made sense. I enjoyed reading those parts immensely. I chose a 3 star rating due to the potential for misinterpretation of one very important chapter; "Neglect your gifts and strengths when choosing a vocation", and the idealistic nature of another chapter; "Disregard what the Bible says about sex and marriage." Before reading this book, I had originally thought that some of the reviews surrounding it may have been too harsh, and I wanted to remain objective. I thought that perhaps it just told people things that were true, but not things people necessarily want to hear. I've found to a certain extent that this is proven true as there is a lot of room for readership bias, especially with the topics that are covered. However, I must say that this book is brief. This means it is easy to read and fairly streamlined, but that it left more to be desired. I felt as though more needed to be expounded upon, especially in the two chapters I listed.
The chapter about neglecting your gifts when it comes to choosing a vocation seems to focus on career choice based on chasing money. This is wrong, and I agree that you should not neglect your gifts simply to chase money. Where I have issue with this section is that it can be completely misinterpreted to justify why someone should leave one job and move onto another simply because they don't like it or it doesn't utilize the skills they have been given as "gifts." Sometimes you are meant to endure positions where you don't utilize your gifts to give you an appreciation of those gifts and to pick up new skills. I liked the examples of C.S. Lewis and J. R. R. Tolkien who had "gifts" for writing, but met outside of work and shared their stories as part of their hobby instead of their job. These two people did not write for their profession at first, but they still utilized the gifts they were given. Writing about their story did redeem the chapter a little. Pursuing a dream or your passion is great, but seeking it solely in a career may not be what you are meant to do. This chapter puts more of an emphasis on a career, and could potentially lead someone into a life where they are constantly job-hopping. Pursue your passion, but strive to do your best and learn at any position you are in. If it isn't right, move on but do so after placing faith in God and thinking through your decision. Providing necessities for your family is important and if no opportunities seem to be available at the time (even though you may apply) you may be meant to wait it out if it leaving your current job could cost your family's wellbeing. You can be shaped no matter what your career is. Not everyone is able to pursue a career based solely on their passion and already-known "gifts." That doesn't mean they won't find other gifts they didn't know about or be called to use their gifts elsewhere. This is why I have issue with this particular chapter.
The chapter called "Disregard what the Bible says about sex and marriage" did have some good ideas that I may even agree with, but I find them very difficult and idealistic for this day and age. This is a hot button topic. While I agree that this is how things would work in the ideal world and Biblically, I find it very difficult that a young person would be able to follow all of these things. There are so many influences in this world, and this book seems to say to just ignore and avoid them entirely. If you cross that bridge, don't go back over it. If you have already crossed that bridge things become a lot more difficult. You may feel like you can't just stop cold turkey and change all of these behaviors at once. You're going to make mistakes, and this chapter just doesn't give much wiggle room for that or explain how to overcome them. I would have just liked to see more detail on how to live those things out in this day and age, and surrounded with all of the temptations that this life can throw at you. The church has been preaching on "don't have sex until after marriage" for hundreds of years with threats of burning in hell, damaging your body (God's holy temple), separation from Christ, etc., but this doesn't mean that young people will not participate in it in some form. Young Christians even perform other acts to avoid having sex in the truest form before marriage like it is some type of loophole. This book shows an awareness of that, and even writes about how anything beyond kissing (including fondling of breasts) is wrong. Like I said, I don't disagree necessarily, but I know I have been guilty of more than just that before marriage. The temptations are even greater for young people now than when I was in college. How do you prepare young people in their twenties to combat all these temptations out there, especially when many of them have been around since their teenage years or even before? The answer of "just don't do it" is correct, but not necessarily helpful. We need to combat, and expound upon this issue.
These were the areas I felt the book was lacking in. I enjoyed it for the most part, but when I have issues with parts of books I like for others to know why. I like the author to know what could have been done differently that would have made the book better or more insightful. The reason I expounded on the chapters I had issue with was not to bash this book, but to bring light to how it could be better and to let the reader know what to expect. This book is very much worth reading, and I would still recommend it for young readers. It seems to put life into perspective, and also helps comfort you in other chapters. The two chapters above just didn't seem to flow as well with the rest of the book's message. I felt that there was outside influence at work on the career chapter, including the recommendation of a career book; and I felt that there was a lack of information and knowledge of a solution on current young people's struggles in the area of sex and marriage. With the correction and addition of those things, this book could have easily been a five star book. Overall, I still recommend reading it, and am still pleased with this book.
The chapter about neglecting your gifts when it comes to choosing a vocation seems to focus on career choice based on chasing money. This is wrong, and I agree that you should not neglect your gifts simply to chase money. Where I have issue with this section is that it can be completely misinterpreted to justify why someone should leave one job and move onto another simply because they don't like it or it doesn't utilize the skills they have been given as "gifts." Sometimes you are meant to endure positions where you don't utilize your gifts to give you an appreciation of those gifts and to pick up new skills. I liked the examples of C.S. Lewis and J. R. R. Tolkien who had "gifts" for writing, but met outside of work and shared their stories as part of their hobby instead of their job. These two people did not write for their profession at first, but they still utilized the gifts they were given. Writing about their story did redeem the chapter a little. Pursuing a dream or your passion is great, but seeking it solely in a career may not be what you are meant to do. This chapter puts more of an emphasis on a career, and could potentially lead someone into a life where they are constantly job-hopping. Pursue your passion, but strive to do your best and learn at any position you are in. If it isn't right, move on but do so after placing faith in God and thinking through your decision. Providing necessities for your family is important and if no opportunities seem to be available at the time (even though you may apply) you may be meant to wait it out if it leaving your current job could cost your family's wellbeing. You can be shaped no matter what your career is. Not everyone is able to pursue a career based solely on their passion and already-known "gifts." That doesn't mean they won't find other gifts they didn't know about or be called to use their gifts elsewhere. This is why I have issue with this particular chapter.
The chapter called "Disregard what the Bible says about sex and marriage" did have some good ideas that I may even agree with, but I find them very difficult and idealistic for this day and age. This is a hot button topic. While I agree that this is how things would work in the ideal world and Biblically, I find it very difficult that a young person would be able to follow all of these things. There are so many influences in this world, and this book seems to say to just ignore and avoid them entirely. If you cross that bridge, don't go back over it. If you have already crossed that bridge things become a lot more difficult. You may feel like you can't just stop cold turkey and change all of these behaviors at once. You're going to make mistakes, and this chapter just doesn't give much wiggle room for that or explain how to overcome them. I would have just liked to see more detail on how to live those things out in this day and age, and surrounded with all of the temptations that this life can throw at you. The church has been preaching on "don't have sex until after marriage" for hundreds of years with threats of burning in hell, damaging your body (God's holy temple), separation from Christ, etc., but this doesn't mean that young people will not participate in it in some form. Young Christians even perform other acts to avoid having sex in the truest form before marriage like it is some type of loophole. This book shows an awareness of that, and even writes about how anything beyond kissing (including fondling of breasts) is wrong. Like I said, I don't disagree necessarily, but I know I have been guilty of more than just that before marriage. The temptations are even greater for young people now than when I was in college. How do you prepare young people in their twenties to combat all these temptations out there, especially when many of them have been around since their teenage years or even before? The answer of "just don't do it" is correct, but not necessarily helpful. We need to combat, and expound upon this issue.
These were the areas I felt the book was lacking in. I enjoyed it for the most part, but when I have issues with parts of books I like for others to know why. I like the author to know what could have been done differently that would have made the book better or more insightful. The reason I expounded on the chapters I had issue with was not to bash this book, but to bring light to how it could be better and to let the reader know what to expect. This book is very much worth reading, and I would still recommend it for young readers. It seems to put life into perspective, and also helps comfort you in other chapters. The two chapters above just didn't seem to flow as well with the rest of the book's message. I felt that there was outside influence at work on the career chapter, including the recommendation of a career book; and I felt that there was a lack of information and knowledge of a solution on current young people's struggles in the area of sex and marriage. With the correction and addition of those things, this book could have easily been a five star book. Overall, I still recommend reading it, and am still pleased with this book.
June 22, 2019
"It's been my experience that for every 10 men who start strong with Christ in their 20's, only 1 out of 10 will finish strong"
This quote came from the 2nd chapter and really rocked me. This brief book really challenged me to consider faith in the context of the entirety of life. It was refreshing in its perspective, from a father in his 60s, who did a good job of emphasizing both urgency to set good spiritual discipline now and longevity of faith.
A very sobering and timely read. As I transition from school life to work/the "real" world life, I am glad I read this now and can prepare and discipline myself for the road ahead.
"It is a great struggle to guard your heart. It's hard to be honest and face your sin. It's difficult to die to yourself. But in the long run, it's worth it."
This quote came from the 2nd chapter and really rocked me. This brief book really challenged me to consider faith in the context of the entirety of life. It was refreshing in its perspective, from a father in his 60s, who did a good job of emphasizing both urgency to set good spiritual discipline now and longevity of faith.
A very sobering and timely read. As I transition from school life to work/the "real" world life, I am glad I read this now and can prepare and discipline myself for the road ahead.
"It is a great struggle to guard your heart. It's hard to be honest and face your sin. It's difficult to die to yourself. But in the long run, it's worth it."
May 8, 2024
Summary: Steve Farrar discusses nine ways that you can ruin your life by the age of 30. He helps you recover from poor choices and learn from others mistakes. Audience: Older Teen.
💭 This was really good. I kept thinking there must be something I shouldn’t like because it has a lot of negative reviews on Goodreads, but it turned out to be a great light read that is just right to get Christian teens thinking about their future. Even though it was published a few years ago the content is still relevant today.
⚠️ There is some sexual terminology you might want to be aware of before handing to your teen.
“You exist by a predetermined, providential plan of almighty God. And the plan that He has for you is greater than anything you could ever come up with for your own life.”
So true!
💭 This was really good. I kept thinking there must be something I shouldn’t like because it has a lot of negative reviews on Goodreads, but it turned out to be a great light read that is just right to get Christian teens thinking about their future. Even though it was published a few years ago the content is still relevant today.
⚠️ There is some sexual terminology you might want to be aware of before handing to your teen.
“You exist by a predetermined, providential plan of almighty God. And the plan that He has for you is greater than anything you could ever come up with for your own life.”
So true!
February 14, 2018
This book was super helpful and encouraging! It’s really good to learn from the mistakes of others, and the ways of ruining your life covered in How To Ruin Your Life By 30 are very relevant. There is a lot of biblical wisdom and insight and it gives you a lot to ponder. It’s an easy read - I read it in just over two hours. Definitely recommend it!
October 13, 2015
I didn't like this book too much. It was very problematic and not very open minded. Some things, however, were understandable and good advice. But, to be honest, most of it wasn't well written.
April 15, 2024
Trying hard to not judge a book by it's cover, but I REALLY hate the image of someone placing their head in a blender, which not only appears on the cover, but at the beginning of every chapter. Gross.
The book was ok. Not amazing, not bad. It's short so I was thinking it would be a good place to start for getting the older kids reading something helpful as they approach adulthood, but that would also not cause too much complaining. And the length made it easy for me to pre-read so we can discuss the content. Personally, I'm glad I pre-read it and can carry on conversations with the boys about the book.
One thing of note, this book is decidedly Calvinist. If you are, great. I also found the author a bit sexist. "Girls shouldn't dress cheap." While the advice for young men was more like, "Treat all your dates like she might someday be someone else's wife and you would like your future wife's dates to treat her," which is nice advice, but not the same level as his advice for young women.
I think the chapter about sex and marriage covers a lot of great information, especially for young people who are getting ready to start dating. While I agree marriage is supposed to be for life and it's certainly a terrible statistic that even many Christian marriages end in divorce, there are some times that divorce should happen. Abusive situations should not be tolerated and I find an awful lot of Christian books on relationships, especially books written by men, seem to suggest (or blatantly state) women should tolerate abuse and make the most of it. This author doesn't even mention possibly abusive relationships, but I guess if you follow all the advice he gives you will never find yourself in one.
The book was ok. Not amazing, not bad. It's short so I was thinking it would be a good place to start for getting the older kids reading something helpful as they approach adulthood, but that would also not cause too much complaining. And the length made it easy for me to pre-read so we can discuss the content. Personally, I'm glad I pre-read it and can carry on conversations with the boys about the book.
One thing of note, this book is decidedly Calvinist. If you are, great. I also found the author a bit sexist. "Girls shouldn't dress cheap." While the advice for young men was more like, "Treat all your dates like she might someday be someone else's wife and you would like your future wife's dates to treat her," which is nice advice, but not the same level as his advice for young women.
I think the chapter about sex and marriage covers a lot of great information, especially for young people who are getting ready to start dating. While I agree marriage is supposed to be for life and it's certainly a terrible statistic that even many Christian marriages end in divorce, there are some times that divorce should happen. Abusive situations should not be tolerated and I find an awful lot of Christian books on relationships, especially books written by men, seem to suggest (or blatantly state) women should tolerate abuse and make the most of it. This author doesn't even mention possibly abusive relationships, but I guess if you follow all the advice he gives you will never find yourself in one.
October 22, 2021
I was surprised to find how much I enjoyed this book. It had so much helpful advice and I recommend it to any Christian teen or young adult looking for advice on how to live a great life, and one that is guided by God.
August 10, 2019
4.25?
My twin and I read this aloud to each other.
My twin and I read this aloud to each other.
June 23, 2024
This book is mid - full of conventional wisdom and lacks original guidance, thought, or advice
February 6, 2019
really recommended for every young man and girl. please don't miss it if you are early 20 or late 20
November 8, 2013
I think this short, little book contains some great ideas, but it still falls short of the mark. Steve Farrar offers a lot of valuable advice such as how to find your true purpose in life, how to follow the laws of cause and effect, trust God, etc. But I think his message will only truly be appreciated by the most conservative Christians. The advice is well meaning but not always attainable or well advised.
A few of the things I had problems with are as follows:
1. The author makes it clear that divorce is never ever an option. Which I agree, in most cases divorce isn't an option. People need to take their vows seriously and work through their problems. But he fails to mention abuse or other severe cases when divorce is necessary. Putting forth ultimatums is never good. In rare cases divorce is justifiable and encouraged.
2. He considers homosexuality a "sexual immorality." Now I know most Christians frown upon gays, but I thought the teaching was, that being a homosexual was not a sin, only ACTING on homosexuality was a sin (not that I agree with that, I'm just repeating). The author makes no clarification and just calls out the gays. Not cool.
3. Farrar is borderline sexist/ very traditional in regards to gender roles. He states multiple times that women need to be comfortable in their femininity, allow their husbands to provide and lead, become mothers, AND not to dress cheap. There is nothing shaming boys from ogling pretty girls but there is a whole section on what women should wear. Again, not cool.
4. Finally, dating non-Christians is not worth your time?!? Really?! I thought for sure he would at least say, "convert your significant other" or something, but instead he says, "Don't give any consideration to the possibility that you might lead them toward the Lord. God doesn't need you to do His work in their life." Harsh man, harsh.
Overall, an interesting read, but maybe I'm just to liberal in my love for the Lord and humanity.
I received this book for free from Moody Publishing in return for my honest, unbiased opinion.
A few of the things I had problems with are as follows:
1. The author makes it clear that divorce is never ever an option. Which I agree, in most cases divorce isn't an option. People need to take their vows seriously and work through their problems. But he fails to mention abuse or other severe cases when divorce is necessary. Putting forth ultimatums is never good. In rare cases divorce is justifiable and encouraged.
2. He considers homosexuality a "sexual immorality." Now I know most Christians frown upon gays, but I thought the teaching was, that being a homosexual was not a sin, only ACTING on homosexuality was a sin (not that I agree with that, I'm just repeating). The author makes no clarification and just calls out the gays. Not cool.
3. Farrar is borderline sexist/ very traditional in regards to gender roles. He states multiple times that women need to be comfortable in their femininity, allow their husbands to provide and lead, become mothers, AND not to dress cheap. There is nothing shaming boys from ogling pretty girls but there is a whole section on what women should wear. Again, not cool.
4. Finally, dating non-Christians is not worth your time?!? Really?! I thought for sure he would at least say, "convert your significant other" or something, but instead he says, "Don't give any consideration to the possibility that you might lead them toward the Lord. God doesn't need you to do His work in their life." Harsh man, harsh.
Overall, an interesting read, but maybe I'm just to liberal in my love for the Lord and humanity.
I received this book for free from Moody Publishing in return for my honest, unbiased opinion.
February 18, 2014
With a title such as How to Ruin Your Life By 30, and a cover featuring a man with his head in a blender, I just couldn’t pass up this book by Steve Farrar.
As a twenty-something, I was intrigued. What mistakes might I be making right now that could potentially ruin my life in less than a decade? Quite a frightening thought!
Broken down into nine, easy-to-read, and informative chapters, Farrar walks readers through some of the bad decisions that people in their twenties are prone to make, yet are terribly destructive.
Covering topics as diverse as irresponsibility, isolation, and sex outside of marriage, Farrar gives fatherly wisdom, rooted in Scripture, and laced with touching stories from throughout history.
I was completely captivated by the amusing, yet deep lessons found in How to Ruin Your Life by 30, and read the entire book in one night. Don’t worry, it isn’t a hefty volume– rather an approachable 135 pages!
As a Christian twenty-something, I believe How to Ruin Your Life by 30 is one of the most insightful and encouraging books I have ever read, and I came away inspired to live my life fully, purposefully, wisely.
I would highly recommend How to Ruin Your Life by 30, especially for young people in their late teens and twenties. I would give the book an “A”.
Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from the publisher through the Moody Publishers Blogger Review Program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 .
As a twenty-something, I was intrigued. What mistakes might I be making right now that could potentially ruin my life in less than a decade? Quite a frightening thought!
Broken down into nine, easy-to-read, and informative chapters, Farrar walks readers through some of the bad decisions that people in their twenties are prone to make, yet are terribly destructive.
Covering topics as diverse as irresponsibility, isolation, and sex outside of marriage, Farrar gives fatherly wisdom, rooted in Scripture, and laced with touching stories from throughout history.
I was completely captivated by the amusing, yet deep lessons found in How to Ruin Your Life by 30, and read the entire book in one night. Don’t worry, it isn’t a hefty volume– rather an approachable 135 pages!
As a Christian twenty-something, I believe How to Ruin Your Life by 30 is one of the most insightful and encouraging books I have ever read, and I came away inspired to live my life fully, purposefully, wisely.
I would highly recommend How to Ruin Your Life by 30, especially for young people in their late teens and twenties. I would give the book an “A”.
Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from the publisher through the Moody Publishers Blogger Review Program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 .
May 7, 2012
I so did not agree with one of the thoughts of this book, which was that we are immortal until we do what God put us here to do. So if I decide to never do what God wants me to do, I'll live forever? Somehow, I don't think so.
I also did not like how they took divorce off of the table as an option, ever. Obviously they married the right person, or at least someone who isn't a non-believer or horrible person. Sometimes divorce is necessary. They did stress marrying the right person and being wise in your choice, but if that fails, then one shouldn't be stuck in a horrible marriage for the rest of their lives. It's not fair, and it wouldn't be fair to any children who result from such a marriage. If one of the spouses is abusive, I think the one being abused has the right to leave.
It wasn't a bad book, but it has some faulty thoughts in it, such as the examples above. I may have gotten more out of it had I been more under thirty than I am now. I pretty much already have made my mistakes and learned through them. Well, all of the mistakes that really matter for 30 I guess. I'm sure more are around the corner.
So while some of the ideas were good, others were not so good. I would not overly recommend this to someone in their teens or 20s unless they are mature enough to think things through and have a mentor or someone they could discuss it with.
I also did not like how they took divorce off of the table as an option, ever. Obviously they married the right person, or at least someone who isn't a non-believer or horrible person. Sometimes divorce is necessary. They did stress marrying the right person and being wise in your choice, but if that fails, then one shouldn't be stuck in a horrible marriage for the rest of their lives. It's not fair, and it wouldn't be fair to any children who result from such a marriage. If one of the spouses is abusive, I think the one being abused has the right to leave.
It wasn't a bad book, but it has some faulty thoughts in it, such as the examples above. I may have gotten more out of it had I been more under thirty than I am now. I pretty much already have made my mistakes and learned through them. Well, all of the mistakes that really matter for 30 I guess. I'm sure more are around the corner.
So while some of the ideas were good, others were not so good. I would not overly recommend this to someone in their teens or 20s unless they are mature enough to think things through and have a mentor or someone they could discuss it with.
May 24, 2018
Not sure where to begin with this review as my opinions are all over the map on it. At times I felt the chapter titles did not connect to the content well. Sometimes I disagreed with the author. Occasionally I felt that the audience for which it was intended would not appreciate the mini biographies strewn throughout the book. But in spite of these criticisms, I still found myself eager to read the next chapter. Throughout the book are many nuggets of wisdom that are unpopular and not heard often, such as, "The most critical decision you will ever make concerns whether you will follow Jesus Christ fully all the days of your life. The second most important decision of your life is whether you are going to divorce your spouse." The author explores this concept in a way I would say most young adults have not considered. He offers good food for thought with regards to dating, choosing a mate, compatibility, and more. That is just one chapter. If you choose to read this book, you may disagree with some of it. You may find snippets of it boring. You may have heard some of this before and think "so what, this is nothing new." But keep reading, because just when you become unimpressed, you will find yourself wanting to write down a thought-provoking quote. Although not a perfect book, definitely worth a read.
October 31, 2012
I didn't think it was a bad book, per se. It just wasn't exactly groundbreaking. I didn't really assume that it was going to shake my world (I feel like I've made fairly good decisions with my life so far), but it didn't really read like a book. Maybe I enjoyed it more than other readers because I read it one chapter at a time, and would come back to it once per week or every few days to read the next chapter.
One other review that I read clearly states my thoughts: it had a few ideas, but seemed filled with a lot of fluff. It definitely wasn't intellectually challenging material. But, unfortunately, I see a growing need for a book like this as older and older kids remain immature and don't think to plan for their futures.
One other review that I read clearly states my thoughts: it had a few ideas, but seemed filled with a lot of fluff. It definitely wasn't intellectually challenging material. But, unfortunately, I see a growing need for a book like this as older and older kids remain immature and don't think to plan for their futures.
July 12, 2012
Maybe this book worked as a short graduation speech, spread out to a (relatively short) book it is a tired mixed of individualistic self-help and warped Calvinistic determinism (really, God is your "safety net?" - think you have dumbed down a deeper truth). He stretches stories to the breaking point, throws in some Scripture and some Calvinists, but mostly it feels like a few ideas and lots of filler. The longest chapter by far is on sex and marriage - it would really help if he had a theology to work with, instead he tries to refry the traditional Christian self-help in a kind of stream of consciousness. The eighth chapter on Isolating Yourself felt the most insightful, maybe because it involved involving the church, to some small extent.
July 13, 2016
Farrar takes on common mistakes young people make in a good-humored fashion. It is written for a Christian audience, including a chapter on why you shouldn't "Ignore God's purpose for your life", but the majority of the chapters are wisdom one can receive no matter where your beliefs are (ex. don't "Stop learning" or "Isolate yourself"). An easy and enjoyable read with many anecdotes and practical advice that help drive these words of wisdom home. Breaks down into nine chapters, one for each of the mistakes Farrar describes.
April 28, 2014
I'm not one for reviews of Christian books, but generally I found the advice to be quite solid.
Not necessarily my cup of tea, and I can't say that I wholeheartedly agree with every point he makes - particularly the section on sex and marriage, the rest was fine - but Farrar does make an excellent case and I think it was certainly worth the read for a more level-headed Christian perspective.
Cheers, Farrar, Cheers
Not necessarily my cup of tea, and I can't say that I wholeheartedly agree with every point he makes - particularly the section on sex and marriage, the rest was fine - but Farrar does make an excellent case and I think it was certainly worth the read for a more level-headed Christian perspective.
Cheers, Farrar, Cheers
September 21, 2012
While some of the examples and stories seem far-fetched (because even if they are true, there are plenty of stories of things not working out for good people), the principles in this book are still solid.
Don't let the stories rob of you of the truths in the principles.
Easy read.
But worth it.
Don't let the stories rob of you of the truths in the principles.
Easy read.
But worth it.
May 16, 2012
I didn't care for this book much. It wasn't that I didn't agree with alot of it, but it seemed to say the same things over and over. I did enjoy the small stories that were spaced out throughout the book.
July 21, 2013
The book was ok. I was reading it before giving it to my daughter to read. A lot of it is common sense, if you have a strong faith and are in church and bible studies. There were some good reminders in it.
March 8, 2014
Mainly a compendium of things Sunday School, youth church, pastors, and parents tell you to do. Jam-packed with radical Calvinist philosophies. Some good, insightful stuff, but the book usually fell flat.
December 9, 2015
It's also fine to skip the book and just focus on the last chapter. Basically:
Read a chapter of Proverbs every day. Also, find someone to do this with you so you can discuss what you read and encourage each other.
Read a chapter of Proverbs every day. Also, find someone to do this with you so you can discuss what you read and encourage each other.
June 4, 2016
This book has some good advice for teens and 20-somethings. If I would have listened to some of it, it might have spared me some trouble through the years. The principles are still good to apply whether you're 15 or 35.
May 22, 2017
Motivation for the Believer
As a Believer, I found this book to give great advice on how to stay on the Right Path. It was an easy read and the examples given were easy to understand.
As a Believer, I found this book to give great advice on how to stay on the Right Path. It was an easy read and the examples given were easy to understand.
January 3, 2018
Read & discussed with my 13 & 15 year old daughters. Lots of fantastic, Biblical, practical wisdom here. Good for all ages--even those of us over thirty! :) Of course I didn't agree with everything in the book, but that's understandable--I still have much for the Lord Jesus to teach me!
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