Your Girl: Raising a Godly Daughter in an Ungodly World

by Vicki Courtney

“This is a fabulous book! A must read for every daughter’s mother.”
—BETH MOORE

If you are the mother of a daughter eighteen years old or younger, especially one in the tween or teen years, you know that you are in a war for her mind, body, and soul. Best-selling author Vicki Courtney’s Your Girl addresses the times in which our daughters live, the high calling of motherhood, and the necessity to enter the battle to counteract negative influences of the culture.

“Father God, help us to raise this generation of girls to be Yours, and Yours alone,” Vicki writes. She encourages moms to rely on God’s Word while passing down key godly attributes including worth, modest, and purity. Your Girl also helps mothers teach their daughters to stand for truth, protect their hearts, and navigate the uncertain currents of girl politics.

Genres: Parenting, Christian, Nonfiction, Christian Non Fiction

224 pages, Paperback

First published April 15, 2004

About the author

Vicki Courtney is the best-selling author of numerous books for women, tweens, and teen girls including, Motherhood Is Not Your Highest Calling, Rest Assured, Move On, 5 Conversations You Must Have With Your Daughter, 5 Conversations You Must Have With Your Son, and Between Us. She is the recipient of a Mom's Choice award and two ECPA Christian Book Awards. She and her husband, Keith reside in the Texas hill country and are the proud parents of three grown children and grandparents to ten grandchildren.

Reviews

[Kayla · Rating 1 out of 5]

Ok. Full disclosure: I didn't finish this book. In all likelihood, I'm not going to. But before anyone gets all bent out of shape, claiming I can't give a fair assessment after reading two chapters or assuming I'm just not the right target audience for this piece of work, let me assure you you're wrong on both accounts. Two chapters is plenty of time to gauge the author's haughty self-righteous attitude. Her sarcasm and passive-aggressiveness is probably supposed to come off as humorous, but it's not. ("Wow, it almost sounds as if I'm suggesting...") That alone was enough to dock Ms. Courtney's credibility as a "good Christian lady" for me. As far as target audience goes, I couldn't be a better fit. I'm a mother, I have a daughter, I'm a Christian, and I strongly believe that this world is taking our girls and turning them into too-sexy-too-soon diva princess messes. I also firmly believe it's within a parent's ability (and responsibility) to keep that fate from befalling her own daughter. But somehow, even these points didn't help me to appreciate this book. At all. For starters, I was turned off by the fact that Ms. Courtney assumes the reader is a woman. Nowhere in the title is it even implied that this book is a guide especially for mothers. Did it occur to the author that men are also raising daughters? Oh, but listen to me, sounding all feminist. Like it isn't fully a woman's responsibility to rear the children (see how that sarcasm sounds?). And while I am a stay-at-home mom who married at 20 and had babies right away, all while eschewing a flashy career, that's certainly not the future I dream of for my daughter. It was right for me and I don't regret a single bit of it, but what if my girl wants something different for herself? Does that make her ungodly? If she's not picking out china patterns as a teenager (a practice Ms. Courtney actually seems to promote, as she mourns the loss of the china pattern ads in Seventeen magazine after the 1960s), does that mean she's destined to be a promiscuous, power-mad feminist who shirks her female instinct to have a family and make her husband and children the center of her universe? Hardly. My daughter dreams of traveling the world, rescuing animals and photographing wildlife. After watching me deal with the first trimester of pregnancy with baby #3, she has no desire to ever procreate. She's 8. She'll probably change her mind someday. But maybe she won't. And that's okay. There are so many ways for her to glorify God and lead a fulfilling life. Raising a Godly daughter is not synonymous with raising a 1950s housewife. Thankfully there are plenty of books out there for moms like me, moms who want to help their little girls stay little for as long as possible, while preparing them to be responsible, independent, strong-minded women when the time comes. Unfortunately for the time I spent reading those first two chapters, this isn't one of them.

[Vanya D. · Rating 5 out of 5]

NOTE: I received this book from Netgalley in exchange for my honest review.

I must say that I found this book very helpful. It was full of God guided advice, Scripture verses and enlightening conclusions. I expected an instruction book, but found something much more valuable. It was not only a guide to mothers, it could very well serve as a guide to their daughters.

I think that in the times we live, we need to open our eyes and actually look around to see how much the world affects us as people. We are born unique people, then we conform to society, to our peers, to others' expectations of us. And our uniqueness is quickly forgotten.

But Vicki Courtney, through personal examples and national studies, can help open up our eyes. She writes about love and understanding, and keeping our ground no matter how difficult it may seem at times. Her advice is realistic and accomplishable through faith in God and Jesus Christ. By realizing what the Lord did for us, and keeping it in mind all through the day, we could truly become better attuned to the many ways He loves us and blesses us.

"Your Girl" is a keeper book for all mothers of today's age, who are concerned about their daughters growing up in a world where girls are considered toys, objects and visual stimulants for men. I sure am going to re-read it once I become a mother.

[IrenesBookReviews · Rating 4 out of 5]

I want to start by saying this book is meant for Christian mothers who have a daughter. I have read other reviews of this book and was a little worried that I would not like it. Some of the style of writing from the author does come across as condescending. I do not think the author meant for it too but the book does get a little preachy at times. If you are not a Christian I do not think her advice will be something you will want to hear, hence the other bad reviews!

I gave this book 4/5 stars. Although the style of writing was a bit in your face at times if you could read past that there was quite a bit of good information to take away with from this book. The author’s advice on how to protect your daughter from the influence of magazines and television was helpful. There were also great steps to get the two of you talking about subjects that might be hard to discuss. Overall it was a good book that I think all mothers should read.

[Lenore Webb · Rating 4 out of 5]

Vicki Courtney has two books out, Your Girl and Your Boy. They are guides in how we can raise our children in Godly ways in an un-Godly world. It is hard to fight the constant competition of the media, friends, family and even those horrid advertisements that bombard our homes. Do this, want that, follow us. I love that the viewpoints in each book is geared toward mothers and the real focus for each sex of child you have. Raising girls and boys is not the same. There are different battles they face. And mothers need all the support they can get. I am taking these two books with me this next weekend to gift to my daughter.

[Laurie Byrum · Rating 5 out of 5]

Christian author illustrates what an impact mothers have on their daughters. She gives concrete strategies to foster raising a Godly daughter. The last chapter on prayer was my favorite, though. She provides a "program of praise" which offers a different adoration for each day of the month with scripture to go with it. Also, she offers a list of character attributes to be developed in our daughters and scripture to go with them, too.

[Annette · Rating 5 out of 5]

I started this book about a year and half ago. I picked up again last week to finish it. Why I stopped reading it to begin with I dont know. The end of the book has been the best. We need to take this serious on how to raise our Godly daughters in this ungodly world. Our country is in a downward spin on morals and values. This book lets you know it is up to us MOMS to take a stand for our Heavenly Father. The chapter 11 was my favorite - A heritage of prayer.

[Shelley · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was really good for mothers with daughters. It gives practical advice on raising godly daughters in our culture and society that disregards godly character. It gives the how and why. I will reread this book when my daughter gets older. A good reference book. There were a few times I felt it was a bit repetitive and I've heard the author speak before so the some of the stories I had heard. Other than that, I don't have anything negative to say.

[Jessica · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am a mother of an 11 year old daughter and found this book to be a wonderful addition not only to my bookshelf but in how I must prepare for the battle of raising my daughter to put God first in all her decisions in a world that will try(and can) to separate her from God if we are not diligent in living the word of God. This book was excellent written it made me cry and laugh at times and I am so glad that God called her to share her experiences with us.

[Lara Rezapour · Rating 1 out of 5]

While I agree with the overall message of this book, the delivery was terrible. I found myself wincing on every. single. page. The author is out of touch with reality, uses the most extreme examples she can think of, and is haughty and pious. What I read-- the world is terrible, beyond terrible, terrible terrible. And my opinion of the book is the same. Additionally, as a Christian mother-- there is nothing wrong with being a feminist and working outside of the home. The end.

[Pia · Rating 5 out of 5]

I wish more parents with daughters would read this book, even if you are not a Christian. I may be a bit naive but some of the stuff that she writes about that girls face on a daily basis really opened my eyes. The author does use biblical scripture to make her points but she also uses plain, common sense as well.

[Maria Connor · Rating 5 out of 5]

Another "must-read" (in my opinion) if you have a daughter. The author gives very practical tools for helping your daughter navigate in our ungodly culture. I am learning a lot! While I am a couple of years away from using most of this material, I would recommend this book to anyone who has a daughter ages 8+.

[Julie · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love this book. It basically gives you ideas on how to deal with your daughter in a word that is so ungodly. I felt like I learned so much for raising my girls, and even for myself. There is so much out there that can influence them, and I want to be able to guide them through life with Christ in the center. Awesome book!

[Stephanie · Rating 4 out of 5]

it did take me a while to finish this book. but was truely worth the effort i put into it. i recommend it to all my friends & wish i had the money to buy it for them. i am currently reading Your Boy & am getting a lot out of it for myself & my son.

[Denise · Rating 5 out of 5]

Reading a chapter of this each night. The information is so crucial!

[Sherry · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent. Will read again in a couple of years.

[Luann Kern · Rating 4 out of 5]

I thought this was excellent advice for raising children of any gender in today's world. Wish I had read it sooner. Got some great ideas and will definitely be referring to it over and over again.

[Maria · Rating 5 out of 5]

Important Read for anyone whose a daughter.

[Stacy Hower · Rating 4 out of 5]

I will keep this around for practical advice as we progress through the stages. The advice is biblically sound and easy to put into practice. Thank you Vicki Courtney!!

[Emily Kerr · Rating 3 out of 5]

Honestly, this book was ok. I believe it was written at the height of the “purity culture” era of American Christianity because so much of this book focused on raising young girls focuses on SEX. While I understand that teaching my daughters about sexual purity is important, I would have appreciated more coverage on topics such as gossip, friendships, etc. Vicki Courtney does mention some of these things and does an excellent job addressing them, but I wish she had focused more on those topics than on sexuality.

Some of the material was a bit shallow for my taste as well. Mama Bear Apologetics is what I would recommend over this book as a supplement or an alternative.

[L.A.]

Possibly mother-daughter journals that correlate