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Clutter Busting Your Life: Clearing Physical and Emotional Clutter to Reconnect with Yourself and Others
Cut the Crap — and Discover What Really Matters
Over the course of his career helping people let go of things they no longer need, Brooks Palmer has been struck by the many ways that clutter affects relationships. In these pages, he shows how we use clutter to protect ourselves, control others, and cling to the past, and how it keeps us from experiencing the joy of connection. With insight-prompting questions, exercises, client examples, and even whimsical line drawings, Palmer will take you from overwhelmed to empowered. His gentle guidance will help you to not only clear clutter from your home but also enjoy deeper, more authentic, and clutter-free relationships of all kinds.
Over the course of his career helping people let go of things they no longer need, Brooks Palmer has been struck by the many ways that clutter affects relationships. In these pages, he shows how we use clutter to protect ourselves, control others, and cling to the past, and how it keeps us from experiencing the joy of connection. With insight-prompting questions, exercises, client examples, and even whimsical line drawings, Palmer will take you from overwhelmed to empowered. His gentle guidance will help you to not only clear clutter from your home but also enjoy deeper, more authentic, and clutter-free relationships of all kinds.
208 pages, Paperback
First published April 3, 2012
47 people are currently reading
295 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 33 reviews
January 3, 2015
This is a great book for anyone trying to declutter their lives.
Palmer introduces the book by saying that he used to just say 'if you love it keep it, if you don't then don't' but he realized, and his fans let him know that that is not good enough. 'What about the vase that I hate but that the sister I love gave to me?' and so on. This book addresses the underlying emotional reasons people have for holding onto clutter, as well as the true emotional impacts that unwanted items have on individuals.
Palmer's main theme is that clutter disconnects us from ourselves, and from other people (e.g. keeping that vase actually puts a negative feeling between you and your sister). He gives some innovative exercises to get to the root of the emotions, e.g. having tea with your fear. His approach is non-judgment and compassionate. He is always clear that what you keep and what you remove from your life is entirely your choice.
He moves from the easier, decluttering things, then adds the layer of things attached to people. The more difficult chapters, at least for me, came later, how to declutter your relationship with yourself and how to declutter your relationships with others (including, occasionally saying good bye to a relationship). I had many 'aha' moments, and gained a great deal of insight along the way.
For me the only drawback was that I got the book from the library so had to work through too quickly to process and do the exercises fully. My plan? Buy the book, do the decluttering, then donate the book or pass it along to someone who needs it.
Overall a very useful resource that supports people who are working to 'clutter bust their lives'.
Palmer introduces the book by saying that he used to just say 'if you love it keep it, if you don't then don't' but he realized, and his fans let him know that that is not good enough. 'What about the vase that I hate but that the sister I love gave to me?' and so on. This book addresses the underlying emotional reasons people have for holding onto clutter, as well as the true emotional impacts that unwanted items have on individuals.
Palmer's main theme is that clutter disconnects us from ourselves, and from other people (e.g. keeping that vase actually puts a negative feeling between you and your sister). He gives some innovative exercises to get to the root of the emotions, e.g. having tea with your fear. His approach is non-judgment and compassionate. He is always clear that what you keep and what you remove from your life is entirely your choice.
He moves from the easier, decluttering things, then adds the layer of things attached to people. The more difficult chapters, at least for me, came later, how to declutter your relationship with yourself and how to declutter your relationships with others (including, occasionally saying good bye to a relationship). I had many 'aha' moments, and gained a great deal of insight along the way.
For me the only drawback was that I got the book from the library so had to work through too quickly to process and do the exercises fully. My plan? Buy the book, do the decluttering, then donate the book or pass it along to someone who needs it.
Overall a very useful resource that supports people who are working to 'clutter bust their lives'.
November 20, 2015
Throw away things (and relationships) that act as false armor and allow yourself to be fulfilled in the moment, in your natural presence.
3.7/5 stars. Helpful advice on decluttering, but about 70% of it would be most useful to a person in a cluttered relationship and it took me almost a year to finish.
I will probably pick up the original.
3.7/5 stars. Helpful advice on decluttering, but about 70% of it would be most useful to a person in a cluttered relationship and it took me almost a year to finish.
I will probably pick up the original.
June 13, 2012
I loved this book. I am a fan of Brooks Palmer and his gentle, effective way to get to the bottom of clutter. He uses the term "clutter" in the broadest possible sense, here applying it even to relationships.
April 5, 2013
Love this book which is a great companion to his first Clutter Busting book. This one works with relationships and reinforces how to coach yourself to get rid of what is no longer serving you. Simple, clear and with some great exercises.
May 24, 2017
In a world of too much clutter, too much stuff, too little time, and too much complication in general, there are probably over a thousand different books on simplifying life in one way or another. Usually these books focus on the "too much stuff" aspect of our modern lives in a overly consumerist society. In Clutter Busting Your Life, comedian and professional "clutter buster" consultant, Brooks Palmer specifically combines clutter busting all that extra stuff with relationship advice on how to do this when we share spaces spaces with loved ones but don't always share the same idea of what is trash and what is treasure. With compassion and humor, Palmer takes us through the basics of using understanding, encouragement and honesty to help couples and families cope with their clutter problems together in ways that create self-awareness and clarity on why we hold on to things the way we do and how we can reconnect with what is really important in our lives beyond all the stuff.
March 22, 2016
I read Marie Kondo's Tidying up book and Julie Morgenstern's Shed your stuff book and now Brooks Palmer on Clutter busting. Needless to say, things are flying out of my house these days. I enjoyed all of these books but Clutter Busting Your Life appealed to me the most.
Brooks Palmer is thoughtful, kind and Zen-like when he helps clients clutter bust. He practices reading body language throughout the process and slows the process down to stillness as needed.
He recommends readers do the same, carefully monitoring their emotions and physical discomfort and disengaging gently if the "busting" becomes overwhelming.
I especially liked his suggestion to "feel" the space within oneself and then in the room, and then tap into anything that disturbs that space; for me: the bathroom scale, why isn't it in a closet, that old bamboo candle holder stained with blue wax, those two mismatched bathrooms rugs...
Thanks, Brooks, I feel better already!
Brooks Palmer is thoughtful, kind and Zen-like when he helps clients clutter bust. He practices reading body language throughout the process and slows the process down to stillness as needed.
He recommends readers do the same, carefully monitoring their emotions and physical discomfort and disengaging gently if the "busting" becomes overwhelming.
I especially liked his suggestion to "feel" the space within oneself and then in the room, and then tap into anything that disturbs that space; for me: the bathroom scale, why isn't it in a closet, that old bamboo candle holder stained with blue wax, those two mismatched bathrooms rugs...
Thanks, Brooks, I feel better already!
March 27, 2016
Recommended August by Dad
This is possibly the best "self-help" book I have ever read. By defining "clutter" as not just the tangible material goods that we are used to referring to, but also _emotions_, _thoughts_, and even _people_, the author has changed my perception of how I live.
For the clutter of material goods, I really like the rule of getting rid of anything you don't immediately love. If you hem and haw about to rid or not to rid, you don't love it and should get rid of it. Also, if you wouldn't buy the thing _right now_, you should also get rid of it. Doesn't matter if you loved it before.
This is possibly the best "self-help" book I have ever read. By defining "clutter" as not just the tangible material goods that we are used to referring to, but also _emotions_, _thoughts_, and even _people_, the author has changed my perception of how I live.
For the clutter of material goods, I really like the rule of getting rid of anything you don't immediately love. If you hem and haw about to rid or not to rid, you don't love it and should get rid of it. Also, if you wouldn't buy the thing _right now_, you should also get rid of it. Doesn't matter if you loved it before.
December 4, 2012
life. changing. Completely shifted my perceptions about clutter and the best ways to approach getting rid of it. I've only tackled a couple of areas in my house, but I'm excited - for the first time in my life - to sort and purge this baggage I'm living with.
Great, specific examples, and written in a very accessible tone.
Great, specific examples, and written in a very accessible tone.
July 3, 2013
Some of the thinking in there seems a little magical and woo-woo, but there's important advice. And I've experienced those kinds of instantaneous results in the past myself.
Now off to start the mother of all culling sessions!
Now off to start the mother of all culling sessions!
July 21, 2012
Not what I expected. This one is more a psychology book than a cleaning book about cleaning out the house from junk. I will look at his first book.
December 4, 2012
Nothing new to be gained. He wrote a decluttering book about "things." This book is about relationships and clearing the physical and emotional clutter in your life.
June 25, 2018
I found this to be very helpful.
The only shortcomings of this book were Palmer's interjected stories. Useful stories that seemed to be resolved by a simple phrase or reassurance. Though I assume he was summarizing relatable situations for the sake of the reader, it's just hard to believe that every conflict he came across (especially those where clients had years long feuds) were resolved with him saying things like "try to understand each other" and "let's be more loving".
However, that isn't to say his advice is any less solid. Because if you have a lot of emotional/relationship clutter or you keep trying to organize but find yourself overwhelmed by emotion this is the book for you.
I did not read his first title on the topic of Clutter Busting, however, I have approached myself and my partner's clutter with a larger breath of understanding as well as being more gentle and kind to myself and my partner. With this change from frustration and feeling overwhelmed to patience and gentle guidance with one another we have been able to slowly clear away the clutter.
I appreciate Palmer's gentle approach and know that if it were just as simple as "throw it away" we would have done that. There's attachment in multiple forms which usually involves holding onto some form of the past, whether that be a deceased loved one, an argument, or even the idea of who you think you "should" be.
Love that he eventually discussed the word hoarder and how it's not a helpful term (those who embrace it are usually lost in their ways or are judgemental such as "well I'm not as bad as those hoarders on tv" or "I'm a hoarder, it can't be fixed"). He is trying to take the judgement and negativity out of it. Force, anger, hate, or any kind of negativity rarely forges long lasting positive change, instead it causes resentment, fear, and a whole load of other negative emotions.
In order to change you need to heal and be kind, especially with yourself.
As for the exercises to try: I tried some but not all. I may go back and see if any of these can help me when I am feeling stuck. Overall, I would have appreciated these exercises at the end in an index.
I think this book along with "New Order: A Decluttering Handbook for Creative Folks (and Everyone Else)" by Fay Wolf have been significant in helping me organize my home, life, and mind especially from a lot of limiting beliefs and clutter that was conditioned at an early age.
The only shortcomings of this book were Palmer's interjected stories. Useful stories that seemed to be resolved by a simple phrase or reassurance. Though I assume he was summarizing relatable situations for the sake of the reader, it's just hard to believe that every conflict he came across (especially those where clients had years long feuds) were resolved with him saying things like "try to understand each other" and "let's be more loving".
However, that isn't to say his advice is any less solid. Because if you have a lot of emotional/relationship clutter or you keep trying to organize but find yourself overwhelmed by emotion this is the book for you.
I did not read his first title on the topic of Clutter Busting, however, I have approached myself and my partner's clutter with a larger breath of understanding as well as being more gentle and kind to myself and my partner. With this change from frustration and feeling overwhelmed to patience and gentle guidance with one another we have been able to slowly clear away the clutter.
I appreciate Palmer's gentle approach and know that if it were just as simple as "throw it away" we would have done that. There's attachment in multiple forms which usually involves holding onto some form of the past, whether that be a deceased loved one, an argument, or even the idea of who you think you "should" be.
Love that he eventually discussed the word hoarder and how it's not a helpful term (those who embrace it are usually lost in their ways or are judgemental such as "well I'm not as bad as those hoarders on tv" or "I'm a hoarder, it can't be fixed"). He is trying to take the judgement and negativity out of it. Force, anger, hate, or any kind of negativity rarely forges long lasting positive change, instead it causes resentment, fear, and a whole load of other negative emotions.
In order to change you need to heal and be kind, especially with yourself.
As for the exercises to try: I tried some but not all. I may go back and see if any of these can help me when I am feeling stuck. Overall, I would have appreciated these exercises at the end in an index.
I think this book along with "New Order: A Decluttering Handbook for Creative Folks (and Everyone Else)" by Fay Wolf have been significant in helping me organize my home, life, and mind especially from a lot of limiting beliefs and clutter that was conditioned at an early age.
June 11, 2017
Amazing tour of the psychology of clutter.
Really appreciated the way it looks at the metaphor of clutter as a life principle. Insightful tour of not only our clutter, nut what we perceive as the clutter around us.
Really appreciated the way it looks at the metaphor of clutter as a life principle. Insightful tour of not only our clutter, nut what we perceive as the clutter around us.
August 23, 2025
Loved it! Lots of wonderful thoughts written to really ponder and practice. It was very informative and made so much sense. Gently presents hard truths. Now I need to practice some of what it preaches. I read it slowly so I could absorb what it shared.
November 27, 2020
Very simply book
I really enjoyed and appreciated the insight this book provided me. It gave me the push I needed to restore freedom in my life.
I really enjoyed and appreciated the insight this book provided me. It gave me the push I needed to restore freedom in my life.
Read
September 20, 2022This is rereading 2022. Meant a lot first time I read it perhaps less now
April 11, 2024
Good info. More about relationships sometimes, than stuff. But that's the point. Many times clutter is about relationships.
February 11, 2017
I kinda rate this book up for the simple reason that it made me want to do stuff. I've already been on a life-cleaning kick, but I was looking for a push in the right direction and this did it for me. It's a quick read but it was actually really hard to focus on a lot of it because I wanted to go home and clean out my closet so bad. I'm the kind of dweeb who gets excited about organization and goes through phases of minimalism because she secretly HATES material posessions.
There are some helpful tips and interesting insights in here, although not all of it will be relevant to everybody. (I skipped the parts about marriage.) The writing is simple and uninteresting, but it's a self-help book and they're not really known for their exciting creativity.
Worth a read if only because it's short, semi-helpful, and has these really bizarre illustrations that I don't understand.
There are some helpful tips and interesting insights in here, although not all of it will be relevant to everybody. (I skipped the parts about marriage.) The writing is simple and uninteresting, but it's a self-help book and they're not really known for their exciting creativity.
Worth a read if only because it's short, semi-helpful, and has these really bizarre illustrations that I don't understand.
February 23, 2015
Not sure how this book arrived on my shelf but since it was there I decided to read. A very easy read that tackles how we can deal with our "stuff," material as well as relational. The author has approached the topic from a compassionate and "keep it simple" perspective. The book helped me understand how and why others have dealt with their "stuff" the way in which they have. It has also given me perspective on why people don't deal with their "stuff." I'd like to think I am pretty good at clutter busting but I am looking around me and my domain with a different perspective and perhaps will continue to lighten my load, physically, mentally and emotionally. I really enjoyed the simple cartoon and one liners that the author used to open each chapter.
September 24, 2022
Bought this book as well as the first, initial book. We were moving from our house we had lived in for 17 years. Unfortunately ended up moving before reading, (but wish I had read these books before the move: would have saved me some time and anguish)
Helpful book, easy to read and appreciated the inner and psychological workings of why we hold on to items we no longer need. Looking forward to reading the first book.
Helpful book, easy to read and appreciated the inner and psychological workings of why we hold on to items we no longer need. Looking forward to reading the first book.
October 4, 2012
This book reaches beyond just organizing and eliminating physical clutter. The author deals with the thinking and emotions that cause us to hang on to "things" that really hinder us from living fully in the present
December 20, 2012
A pretty good book for clutter busting - except every story ends on a happy note - whether it's the couple decides that they love each other more and agree not to fight over the clutter, or that they decide to clean house.
February 2, 2016
It is interesting and worth looking at, though really didn't come away with anything useful from the book that to me would make me recommend the book other then the fact its the second book of her's in the same category so might just be worth reading for the fact on it own.
June 16, 2018
With good methods that fit my lifestyle and belief system, this book had better psychology of clearing clutter than I have read so far. I liked it enough to buy the book after returning the first one to the library. Many are things we all know but about which I can use many reminders.
June 7, 2012
How to help hub and daughter....they are driving me crazy with clutter.
June 20, 2012
I like that he deals firmly but kindly with the emotional side of clutter (something many clutter-clearing books don't deal with or gloss over).
August 26, 2012
Interesting, but I liked the first book better.
May 19, 2013
Another approach to de-cluttering. One day at a time, one room at a time, one drawer at a time. The difference with this one is trying to focus more on the emotional clutter.
October 7, 2014
sooooo good
October 27, 2015
This book addressed to the clutter you have from inheriting "stuff" and how to deal with it -- interesting book.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 33 reviews