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Games Primates Play: An Undercover Investigation of the Evolution and Economics of Human Relationships

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Most humans don't realize that when they exchange emails with someone, anyone, they are actually exhibiting certain unspoken rules about dominance and hierarchy. The same rules regulate the exchange of grooming behavior in rhesus macaques or chimpanzees. Interestingly, some of the major aspects of human nature have profound commonalities with our ape the violence of war, the intensity of love, the need to live together. While we often assume that our behavior in everyday situations reflects our unique personalities, the choices we freely make, or the influences of our environment, we rarely consider that others behave in these situations in almost the exact the same way as we do. In Games Primates Play , primatologist Dario Maestripieri examines the curious unspoken customs that govern our behavior. These patterns and customs appear to be motivated by free will, yet they are so similar from person to person, and across species, that they reveal much more than our selected choices. Games Primates Play uncovers our evolutionary the subtle codes that govern our behavior are the result of millions of years of evolution, predating the emergence of modern humans. To understand the rules that govern primate games and our social interactions, Maestripieri arms readers with knowledge of the scientific principles that ethologists, psychologists, economists, and other behavioral scientists have discovered in their quest to unravel the complexities of behavior. As he realizes, everything from how we write emails to how we make love is determined by the legacy of our primate roots and the conditions that existed so long ago. An idiosyncratic and witty approach to our deep and complex origins, Games Primates Play reveals the ways in which our primate nature drives so much of our lives.

320 pages, Hardcover

First published April 10, 2012

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About the author

Dario Maestripieri

15 books17 followers
Dario Maestripieri is a Professor in Comparative Human Development and is also affiliated with the Stevanovich Institute on the Formation of Knowledge at The University of Chicago. His current main interests are, a) evolution of human behavior and its biological regulation, b) 20th century European literature.

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Profile Image for Maher Razouk.
786 reviews253 followers
December 22, 2023
في أحد أكثر المشاهد رعباً في فيلم Dressed to Kill للمخرج بريان دي بالما عام 1980، كانت كيت ميلر (التي لعبت دورها الممثلة أنجي ديكنسون) في المصعد، في طريقها إلى الطابق السابع. عندما توقف المصعد وفتح الباب، دخل القاتل - وهو رجل يرتدي باروكة نسائية ونظارات شمسية داكنة ومعطف أسود - وفي يده شفرة حلاقة. ترفع كيت يدها لحماية وجهها، لكن القاتل يقطعها بشفرة الحلاقة ويستمر بذلك حتى يصل المصعد إلى الطابق الأرضي، حيث يُفتح الباب من جديد ويرى الشخصان اللذان طلبا المصعد ، جثة كيت على الأرض مغطاة بالدم.

في الأفلام، من المحتمل أن يكون عدد الأشخاص الذين يُقتلون في المصاعد أكبر من عددهم في أي مكان مغلق آخر، ربما باستثناء الحمام. أما في الواقع، فإن احتمالية الوقوع ضحية لهجوم مميت في المصعد هي صفر تقريبًا. ومع ذلك، فإن الطريقة التي يتصرف بها الناس تجاه الآخرين عندما يتواجدون معًا في المصعد تشير إلى أن لديهم مخاوف جدية بشأن سلامتهم. إذا كان المصعد مزدحما، يقف الجميع ساكنين ويحدقون في السقف، أو الأرض، أو ساعاتهم، أو لوحة الأزرار كما لو أنهم لم يروا أيًا من هذه الأشياء من قبل. عندما يصعد شخصان غريبان معًا، يقفان بعيدًا قدر الإمكان ويتجنبان مواجهة بعضهما البعض مباشرة، أو التواصل البصري، أو القيام بأي حركات أو أصوات مفاجئة.

قد تظن أن الغرباء في المصعد يحاولون ببساطة أن يكونوا مهذبين في موقف حرج اجتماعيًا، ولكن الحقيقة هي أن الكثير من سلوكنا في المصعد ليس نتيجة للتفكير العقلاني. إنها استجابة تلقائية وغريزية للموقف. التهديد بالعدوان ليس حقيقيا، لكن عقولنا تستجيب كما لو كان حقيقيا فعلاً وتنتج سلوكيات تهدف إلى حمايتنا.

المصاعد هي اختراعات حديثة نسبيا، ولكن التحديات الاجتماعية التي تفرضها ليست جديدة. لقد تكرر سيناريو التواجد على مقربة من الآخرين في مساحة محدودة مرات لا حصر لها في تاريخ البشرية.
تخيل اثنين من رجال الكهوف من العصر الحجري القديم واللذان يصادف أنهما يتبعان بشكل منفصل آثار دب كبير في نفس الكهف الصغير المظلم. هناك لا يكتشف كل منهما دبًا ما، بل رجل كهف جائع آخر يلوح بهراوته بشكل ينذر بالسوء - ومن الواضح أن هذا موقف حرج يتطلب استراتيجية خروج. في أيام العصر الحجري القديم، كان القتل وسيلة مقبولة للخروج من المواقف الاجتماعية المحرجة (الطريقة التي نستخدمها اليوم هي موعد مع الطبيب في الصباح الباكر كذريعة لمغادرة حفل عشاء في وقت مبكر). في الكهف، يضرب أحد رجال الكهف الآخر على رأسه بهراوة، وتنتهي الحفلة. في بعض الأحيان، يكون لقاء رجل الكهف مع أنثى من نفس النوع، مما يجعلها فرصة للتكاثر. ولكن إذا واجه رجل الكهف ذكرًا آخر من نوعه، فهذه أخبار سيئة. وبالمثل، عندما يصادف ذكور الشمبانزي في أوغندا ذكرًا ضالًا من مجموعة أخرى، فإنهم يقطعون حنجرته ويمزقون خصيتيه - تحسبا لبقاءه على قيد الحياة وأن يكون لديه أي طموحات مستقبلية للتكاثر.
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Dario Maestripieri
Games Primates Play
Translated By #Maher_Razouk
Profile Image for J.D. Steens.
Author 3 books34 followers
September 18, 2012
This book is largely a reiteration of what's been said by many others on the evolutionary underpinnings of human behavior, but the author places this information loosely within a cost-benefit framework. He says that we play "games" with each other not for fun, but for seeking benefits for ourselves. Whether we aggress or retreat depends on the situation we find ourselves relative to others and our conscious or non-conscious assessment of benefit.

What's not clear is the degree to which inner attributes have a role in all of this. The same situation can and does generate different actions and responses because of who we are. The author acknowledges that "individuals' physiological and psychological characteristics" have a role and that, for example, "some may be predisposed to act dominant and others to act subordinate," but this is not his emphasis. In stressing his argument that situational dynamics are key, the author quotes the proverb, "opportunity turns man into a thief." That perspective suggests we all have a common tendency to engage in self-interest cost-benefit calculations. That approach does not recognize that there's considerable variability among individuals on particular traits and dispositions that make "rational models of behavior" that apply universally problematic at best. Inner, inborn, and variable dispositions might have a far more determining role in what we do in any particular situation than what the author articulates.

In making his rational model work, the author too narrowly categorizes relationships in terms of competition (self at the expense of other) and cooperation as self-other cooperation for mutual benefit. In addition to the utilitarian cost-benefit relationships he emphasizes, another prong to cooperation might be those social tendencies that promote group bonding without cost-benefit assessments. Rather than self standing apart from the other and the group, the self and other are merged as one so that there is little assessment of relative benefit. Of course, this organic relationship has a self-interested benefit as the self's welfare is tied to his or her union with the group, but this is far removed from what the author seems to be saying.

Despite these comments, this is an interesting book with a good point of view. The author observes that many remark about how much primates are "like us." He says that's another example where we see ourselves as the center of the world. He counters by saying "how much we are like them." That is a more accurate way to describe us and our primate heritage. This ties us to the same life force we share with all beings and that's a healthy, and even uplifting, perspective.
Profile Image for YHC.
853 reviews5 followers
June 25, 2018

---亲子之间的支配结构绝不是人类独有的现象。在所有子女跟它们的双亲(通常是它们的母亲)维持长期关系的动物物种中,这样的关系都带有强烈的支配性成分。无论是对于社会性昆虫比如蚂蚁和蜜蜂(蚁后或蜂后支配着它的女
儿们)来说,还是对于许多脊椎动物(当然也包括其他的灵长类)而言,支配结构的存在都是确凿无疑的事实。

---朋友之间的支配结构可能是微妙的,也可能格外明显,儿童之间的情形则倾向于后者。早在两岁的时候,儿童就开始竞争地位,试图拥有对其他儿童的支配地位[5]。这种支配结构对儿童来说非常重要,因为它决定了谁能得到来自成人和心仪伙伴的关注,谁有资格得到大家都想要的玩具,以及谁能获得其他重要的资源。当孩子们结交了自己人生中的第一个朋友时,他们就走上了漫长的斗争之路,试图在这段关系中占据支配地位。孩子们,尤其是男孩子们,常常使用身体攻击的方式来实现这一目标。

---浪漫关系或婚姻关系中的支配结构也很重要,但没有引起人们的足够重视。最稳定的浪漫关系和婚姻关系是从一开始支配结构就很明确的那种。伴侣中的支配者决定所有的事情,从晚上看电视时选什么节目到夏天去哪里度假,而从属者默许同意,扮演着支持性的角色。如果人们期待从婚姻中得到的不是长久的激情之爱而是稳定的伴侣关系——这种关系允许他们进行购买房屋和养育孩子的共同冒险,允许他们有机会专注于个人的事业而不必担心房间里的吵闹——那么,一种带有不受挑战的支配结构的不对等关系也许能确保最好的结果。婚姻稳定的秘密就在于,其中的一个配偶愿意为这种稳定性付出不成比例的代价。
不过,这种不对等关系存在一个问题。一旦孩子们离开了家,职业目标已经达成,购房贷款也已付清,这种稳定的关系可能就丧失了存在下去的理由。配偶中的支配者,或者双方,将对这段关系丧失兴趣,开始重新寻找新的伴侣。另一个可能的问题在于,作为支配者的配偶可能变得专断暴虐。在这种不对等关系中,作为从属者的配偶情愿留在其中,是因为她能从这种关系的稳定和支持(以及伴随的其他目标的达成)中得到足够的好处,这些好处能够抵消她没有决策权以及与之相关的所有损失。

---不是只有灵长类动物中才有支配结构和等级系统。根据哈佛大学昆虫学家爱德华·威尔逊(Edward O. Wilson)的观点,早在1800年,瑞士和奥地利的昆虫学家就首次在大黄蜂群体中发现了支配结构的存在,而在此之前没有人注意到昆虫世界里也有支配关系[10]。这些研究报告说,大黄蜂中的蜂后以君临天下的姿态统治着工蜂,试图偷吃蜂卵的工蜂会受到蜂后的严厉惩罚,它们也可能被其他地位更高的工蜂痛扁一顿。

---许多现代人类面临的社会问题,其他有机体也会遭遇到,而且它们解决这些问题的适应性方式跟我们的方式是相似的。袒护亲属的行为广泛地存在于蜜蜂和蚂蚁中,鱼类会以一报还一报的方式进行合作,鸟类会配对结合一起抚养它们的后代,支配结构和等级在许多鸟类和哺乳动物中都存在,而政治结盟的复杂策略可以在灵长类、鬣狗和海豚中看到。在许多情况下,不同物种的动物在面临相似的环境问题时,会各自独立形成相似的解决方案,这种现象被叫做协同进化(convergent evolution)。当解决某个特定问题的方案格外有限时,自然选择有时候会在不同的物种身上反复使用这种方案,哪怕它们具有较远的亲缘关系,比如鱼类和人类。在某些情况下,不同的解决方法只具有表面上的相似性:鱼类和人类在进行合作时都会采取一报还一报的策略,但用来执行这些策略的认知机制在两个物种中可能遇到,而且它们解决这些问题的适应性方式跟我们的方式是相似的。袒护亲属的行为广泛地存在于蜜蜂和蚂蚁中,鱼类会以一报还一报的方式进行合作,鸟类会配对结合一起抚养它们的后代,支配结构和等级在许多鸟类和哺乳动物中都存在,而政治结盟的复杂策略可以在灵长类、鬣狗和海豚中看到。在许多情况下,不同物种的动物在面临相似的环境问题时,会各自独立形成相似的解决方案,这种现象被叫做协同进化(convergent evolution)。当解决某个特定问题的方案格外有限时,自然选择有时候会在不同的物种身上反复使用这种方案,哪怕它们具有较远的亲缘关系,比如鱼类和人类。在某些情况下,不同的解决方法只具有表面上的相似性:鱼类和人类在进行合作时都会采取一报还一报的策略,但用来执行这些策略的认知机制在两个物种中可能大相径庭。人们能思考未来以及他们行动的结果,他们还可以预测他人对于自己行为的反应。鱼类则可能使用一些固有的脑机制来帮助它们做出正确的决定。在某些情况下,这些固有的机制运作得如此之好,甚至都没有必要用一些更复杂的认知机制来取代它们。进化必须克服相当大的阻力才能把一种“固有的”行为策略转变成一种“认知的”行为策略[12]。即使在包括人类在内的具有大脑袋的动物中,如果一种简单的经验法则很有效的话,使用那些既耗时间又耗认知资源的复杂策略就不会受到自然选择的青睐。

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Profile Image for Colin.
54 reviews4 followers
August 4, 2018
Very easy to read without sacrificing from the complexity of the topic. A lot of the information presented is old news to most interested in Evo Psych, though it would serve as a good beginners book to explaining similarities between monkeys and humans.
Profile Image for Nikki Clark.
71 reviews5 followers
January 11, 2018
Too many monkeys, ironically. It could be a bit of a slog to get through at times.
Profile Image for Georgia.
29 reviews3 followers
April 10, 2013
I'll start my review with a concept stated by Maestripieri himself - he recounted a time his friend had finished reading a piece of work by him, and said something along the lines of "Wow! Monkeys are so much like people, it's crazy" to which Maestripieri replied, "No, actually, we're primates just like them. In fact, we're like THEM".
Knowing a few things on evolutionary psychology, I knew that there were close genetic and behavioural similarities between us and our 'cousins'. It was not until I read this book that I knew the extent of these similarities. Taking specific situations (from simply being in an elevator with a stranger to the evolutionary psychology behind why we fall in love), it's pretty clear that so much behaviour that monkeys display essentially mirror our own behaviour: we just simply dress it with traits we've learned to adhere to in society through means of 'the social contract.'
Whilst Maestripieri tended to go off on a (sometimes, barely relevant) tangent, a lot of his discussions were incredibly interesting to read and were littered with humorous quips - I'd recommend to any one with an interest in psychology from the evolutionary approach in particular.
Profile Image for Bruce.
77 reviews
September 7, 2016
Not a whole lot new here for those who are very familiar with the evo psych literature. Dressing some behavior patterns in explicitly economic jargon can be a bit silly at times. E.g.: 'I did not open my refrigator when there was broccoli inside it because the cost of the motion exceeded the benefit of consumption of the vegetable. The reverse was true when the broccoli was replaced with a Carnegie pastrami sandwich.' There's far too much of this sort of thing in the book. Nonetheless, Maestripieri writes reasonably well, and I did pick up a few things, especially pertaining to the application of Zahavi's handicap principle to the testing of social bonds. 3.48 stars.
Profile Image for Mike Sullivan.
14 reviews1 follower
May 13, 2012
Very insightful but a little troubling if you're a fan of personal agency. Alas, it seems a great deal of our behavior is driven by beastly impulses informed by the perilous circumstances of our tree climbing and cave dwelling ancestors. At least now I know what's behind the awkward experience of riding an elevator with strangers, and that will come in handy. Next time I step into an elevator with a single rider I'm going to stare at him and see how that plays out. My hunch is he'll start beating his chest ;)
Profile Image for Gregor.
18 reviews3 followers
May 17, 2014
I like this book, it shows what science is: in search of facts, connections, evidence; there is no moral judging.

I like the idea that inheritance of social behaviour can be studied, even if controversial. We are very similar indeed to primates. And if you forget about your high esteemed "human reason", it all ends in monkey business at the social level.

Dominance-submissiveness, bond testing, social hierarchy, coalitions...primates have it all. What is amazing is how similar we really are to closely related species.

An eye opener!
1 review4 followers
August 25, 2016
Amazing. The best book about human nature I've ever read. The author uses evolutionary biology and economics to explain people's behavior in relationships. Clever ideas, solid science, entertaining stories, great writing. Much better than Freakonomics.
Profile Image for Paul Vreeland.
9 reviews
July 20, 2012
Only made it to page 79 before I lost interest and quit reading. I was expecting more on social structures in various primate groups and perhaps a theory on the evolution of those behaviors. In the first 80 pages got a theory on elevator psychology and nepotism in Italy... Pass.
Profile Image for Julie.
193 reviews
September 1, 2013
It started out okay, but it read like a lecture with a lot of tangential material. Toward the end I had to skim through because it just got boring which is why I gave it only two stars.
Profile Image for Sean.
157 reviews39 followers
May 17, 2012
I picked up a few nuggets of wisdom from this book, notably on the pervasiveness of dominance in relations.
493 reviews5 followers
February 8, 2014
A fascinating book that taught me a great deal about human behavior. A bit rambling but interesting and worth consuming.
Profile Image for TooBadAboutKenny.
54 reviews1 follower
February 7, 2014
This book gave great examples of how human behavior, such as answering emails to waiting in elevators, mirrored that of primates. Very fun up front, but a bit convoluted towards the end.
Profile Image for James.
301 reviews73 followers
December 11, 2013
Not having much luck with books this week, yet another dog.
Profile Image for Ana.
101 reviews5 followers
July 16, 2015
hm not much new info, but it was ok
Profile Image for Who.
108 reviews4 followers
April 3, 2017
ponderous vanity-literature often uninvolved in the topics at hand, alternatively drawing overreaching conclusions from them. The research when presented is still interesting
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