You Can't Get There From Here

by Ogden Nash

This is Ogden Nash's first completely new collection of humorous poems since The Private Dining Room, published in 1953. It's poems all illustrate Time magazine's comment: "The difference between Nash and his imitators is that somewhere in the cunningly dislocated gears of his lines he imprisons a patented point of view."

Genres: Poetry, Humor

190 pages, Hardcover

First published October 1, 1957

About the author

Frederic Ogden Nash was an American poet well known for his light verse. At the time of his death in 1971, the New York Times said his "droll verse with its unconventional rhymes made him the country's best-known producer of humorous poetry".

Reviews

[Jessaka · Rating 5 out of 5]

My 8th grade teacher had many interests
For he read to us from this book.
His name was Mr. Bailey;
He may have even been a cook.


He taught us about UFOs,
Project Blue Book.
But he never talked about Bigfoot.
For he never read from that book.

He even taught us some photograpy
And how to develop them
But when I went to college,
Some of my photos came out dim.


He owned a VW bus.
Said that they were the best cars made.
And when I grew up I bought one myself
The best thing since Rubbermaid.

He told us that the future car
Would be shaped like an egg
And have a TV in the back seat
Where many a teenager got laid.

He even told us ghost stories
The Legend of Sleepy Hollow,
And those by Edgar Allen Poe
With their scary scenes to follow.

He talked about books a lot
Told us to read The Raft,
Silent Spring, and Kon-Tiki.
Even Two Years Before the Mast.

So when I grew up in my 70s
I read Kon-Tiki and realized
If I had read it back then
I would have been sailing on the seas
With three strong handsome men.

I memorized one of these poems
When I was very young
All because I loved dogs
And so I still remember this one:

An Introduction to Dogs

A dog is man's best friend.
He has a tail on one end.
Up in front he has teeth.
And four legs underneath.

Dogs like to bark.
They like it best after dark.
They not only frighten prowlers away
But also hold the sandman at bay.

A dog that is indoors
To be let out implores.
You let him out and what then?
He wants back in again.

Dogs display reluctance and wrath
If you try to give them a bath.
They bury bones in hideaways
And half the time they trot sideways.

Dogs in the country have fun.
They run and run and run.
But in the city this species
Is dragged around on leashes.

Dogs are upright as a steeple
And much more loyal than people.
Well people may be reprehensibler
But that's probably because they are sensibler.

[Timons Esaias · Rating 4 out of 5]

Our evening ritual, in this household, is reading one poem before we turn out the lights, and light verse dominates. This is the second time we have gone through this collection, and it's a fine choice. It includes a wide variety of his standard styles, and a number of unique efforts. Animal poems include "The Squid" "The Ostrich" and "The Squab" among others. Four food poems appear under Table Talk: "Yorkshire Pudding" "The Sweetbread" "The Pizza" and "The Shad".

"To Ee is Human" figures among the writerly poems I've always enjoyed.

I note that since his collections were generally put out in hardback, they can be obtained inexpensively from used book stores, or bookfinder.com .

[Tim Robinson · Rating 4 out of 5]

Scansion was never his strong point.

[Douglas Lord · Rating 5 out of 5]

For remarkable, brilliant poetry about “real life” (e.g., fatherhood, getting along with the wife, growing older), try this collection of Nash’s light verse, whose poems of wit and intelligence should stand as a shining light for dudes everywhere. In 1950s America, when the book was first published, the country must have been a vastly different place than it is today, and I can’t imagine a 2013 analog to Nash—though I beg to be educated, so feel free to post your comments—with a brilliant degree of cleverness, Nash whipped up snappy, insightful, freakishly funny and off-kilter rhymes. Perhaps America has stopped producing such writers? In longer poems he stretches conceits and ideas elastically; in shorter ones there is usually at least one laugh, as when he describes ink-shooting squid:

“Skin divers boldly swim through sepia,/ But I can think of nothing creepier.”

Whether he’s waxing on baseball in “Mel Allen Lend Me Your Cliché” or aging in “Preface to the Past,” these poems because there’s so much goodness and humor in them. Profound, maybe not. But funny? With titles like, “There’ll Always Be a War Between the Sexes; or A Woman Can be Sometimes Pleased but Never Satisfied”… Aw yeah. VERDICT Poetry doesn’t have to be snobbish (T.S. Eliot), nor gee-that’s-nice-but-awfully-dated (Wordsworth). Nash’s poetry, though it reflects an older time, still speaks loudly. Even though this title is out of print, you can get it for a penny on Amazon!

Find reviews of books for men at Books for Dudes, Books for Dudes, the online reader's advisory column for men from Library Journal. Copyright Library Journal.

[Dolly · Rating 3 out of 5]

We've been reading lots of poetry lately and we have had some fun with Ogden Nash's verse.

This book of poems is certainly for adults, but mainly due to his references to things that adults would be more likely to know and appreciate. His poems are often quite wry, and sometimes silly, but I like the humor.

Although the poems were published more than fifty years ago, many are still relevant today. I only shared a couple of these poems with our girls, and a couple with my hubby, too.

My favorite poem (and I find it to be too true):

The Trouble with Shakespeare, You Remember Him

"I find it a sinecure to compile
My list of books for a desert isle.
Although of nests a feverish featherer,
I think ten books would be a plethora,
Of perilous and awkward bulk
To swim with from a sinking hulk,
So when I sight my island home
I'll salvage but a single tome,
Which is - what should it be, sapristi,
But any book by Agatha Christie?

I state without fear of successful bribery
One Christie book is as good as a libery.
By the time you close it, murmuring "Splendid!"
You've already forgotten how it ended.
The crime is baffling, the plot Promethean,
The solution is mixed with waters Lethean;
Whoever is fingered by Hercule Poirot
Is out of your head by this time tomorrow,
And the hundredth time you enter your Christery
The same thick mist envelopes the mystery.
I repeat that one book by this murder-mongeress
Will last you as long as the Library of Congress.
Her full name is Agatha Christie Mallowan,
On my desert isle she is second to no one." (p. 104)

Another good one:

Posies From a Second Childhood
or
Hark How Gaffer Do Chaffer

I. Daddy's Home, See You Tomorrow

I always found my daughter's beaux
Invisible as the emperor's clothes,
And I could hear of them no more
Than the slamming of an auto door.
My chicks would then slip up to roost;
They were, I finally deduced,
Concealing tactfully, pro tem,
Not boys from me but me from them." (p. 169)

new word: gelid

[Deb · Rating 1 out of 5]

Some things should not be collected in book form. Or rather, some poems are like petite fours or marzipan. Better to look at than feast on.

Or maybe somethings have a shelf life.

[Rob Smith, Jr. · Rating 5 out of 5]

Ogden Nash was so much fun with his verse! This collection is an excellent collection of a joy in verse mostly lost today. These are later works by Nash with wonderful illustrations by Maurice Sendak.

Favorites in this collection are: 'The Pizza', 'A Tale of the Thirteenth Floor', 'And how Keen was the vision of Sir Launfal?' and 'How to Marry a Husband'.

Bottom line: i recommend this book: 10 out of 10 points.

[Charlsie Graves · Rating 3 out of 5]

Found a first edition of this lodged in a crevice of a thrift store, so just sat on the spot & read this collection.

Highlights:
-Felt like listening to my grandfather.
-Enjoyed the poems that had something to say about modernization (“as the boll said to the weevil, get yourself born before or after the end, but never in the middle, of a technological upheaval.”)
-Learned some fun new words like addlepated, sinecure, estivation, & wallydraigle.

Lowlights:
-Stuffy & musty in tone & smell

[Virginia · Rating 4 out of 5]

I’m surprised by how relevant many of his poems are for today. Definitely reading for adults, not kids. Some of his rhymes are very creative. But boy, the meter is often bad, reading like prose instead and destroying flow - annoyingly disruptive. But I’m keeping this book, his humor and insight are cool. Hmm, do I file it with poetry, humor, or sociology??

[Alcornell · Rating 5 out of 5]

Lifetime favorite. Family anthem. Time to reread again.

[Katherine Van Halst · Rating 4 out of 5]

Some of the poems were a bit hard to grasp for me, but many of them were comedic and fun. Perfect for picking up between homework or when reading something serious seems like too much.

[Kevin Driskill · Rating 4 out of 5]

Nash is one of my favorite poets. This is a great collection. You will find current events described (early 1950s) and lampooned. I love it when Nash makes map a word. Classic stuff.

[Salma · Rating 3 out of 5]

“One thing about the past,
It is likely to last.
Some of it is horrid and some sublime,
And there is more of it all the time…..”

[Ryan Doyle · Rating 4 out of 5]

The whole time grinning ear to ear
While reading You Can’t Get There From Here
So often poets ride moonside in a hearse
But here we find the lightest verse

Verse on the purse and its power
Still relevant in this political hour
Bankers stank and bunkers stunk
The USA in the same funk

Unorthodox rhymes and genius wit
Ogden Nash would surely appreciate the irony of TurboTax’s parent company being called Intuit.

[J · Rating 3 out of 5]

Like being cornered at a party by the funniest person there… who doesn’t know when to stop talking.