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The Journey of desire Searching for the Life Weve Only Dreamed of by John Eldridge
Sometimes it seems we just can't get what we want. Circumstances thwart our best-laid plans. We struggle to live a heartfelt life. Worst of all, says Eldredge, the modern church mistakenly teaches its people to kill desire, calling it sin, and to replace it with duty or obligation, calling it sanctification. As a result, at best, Christians tend to live safe, boring lives of resignation. At worst, their desire eventually breaks out in destructive ways, such as substance abuse, affairs, and pornography addictions.
In The Journey of Desire, Eldredge invites listeners to rediscover God-given desire and to search again for the life they once dreamed of.
In The Journey of Desire, Eldredge invites listeners to rediscover God-given desire and to search again for the life they once dreamed of.
Unknown Binding
First published March 1, 2000
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June 19, 2012
I bought this book on a whim and it has been one of those reads that really found me instead of the other way around. There is really no way for me to review this book because I think that Christian literature meets you in the place that you're at and the transformation that your heart undergoes is dependent on where your heart is at that starting point. This book has met me at a low point, but if you understand how low that point is you'll understand how great a blessing the book is. So this "book review" will probably read more like a journal entry than anything else. Very sorry for that. And sorry for the candid vulnerability that might show through. Vulnerability isn't comfortable, but to talk about this book is to let myself be vulnerable. I hate that.
Lately I've been feeling like I have absolutely no worth in the eyes of other people. And I mean NO WORTH. Underappreciated, misunderstood, not taken seriously, ignored, displaced, just plain not measuring up to people's ideals or my own yardstick, letting down God....the repeating theme here is not being good enough. So I started questioning my place and all the relationships in my life. Things I was sure about I started questioning and the worst part is that I began to think of my own needs and desires as being the furthest thing from anyone's consideration or care and definately something God was ignoring. I was so upset I stopped hearing (or listening for)God's voice and guidance. That was devastating because I rarely don't hear His voice and ever since the day I loved Jesus He's given me the uncanny knack of being able to distinguish Him from all the white noise around me. That's why I've always been so sure of myself and my relationships and where I was headed in my own life. I had to take a step back from those things so that I could A) build myself back up because I knew darn well that nobody else would help me, B)get some perspective and make some decisions and C)find His voice again so that I could be still and know that He's God. Then I took a direction I feel guilty about and have only took once before. Instead of fighting through the pain and frustration and putting on a happy face I took to flight. Suddenly, making others a priority when they only make me an option seemed unhealthy and unfair. I put others off to allow myself time to think. It wasn't an easy thing to do, but a friend of mine that I was talking to about all of this said that although they wouldn't give me advice they would tell me what they were hearing and what they were hearing is that in one case I was putting my hope in others and in the other I would be putting more of it in God. Wanting to focus on God first and then all the relationships, I decided to start with finding things to help me hear Him again. Reading helps and that's when I found this book. It definately wasn't the type of book I was looking for (I bought four others as well)but it was what I needed.
The basic message of this book is that the greatest human tragedy is to give up the search for what our hearts truly desire because it causes us to lose hope. We all have longings and the knowledge that all is not as it should be, yet our reaction isn't to embrace our desires and cultivate them. Instead, we kill our desires because they seem too perfect, too great to accomplish, too good for us or think them unobtainable and then deny those longings and desires and call it the path to maturity and sanctification. We do this because to allow ourselves to desire something more can cause deep pain and disappointment. We let ourselves just "get by" and then we get used to it. We deny ourselves joy and passion and the true contentment and peace that God wants and designed for us to have. We are desire. Jesus was desire. And nothing worth accomplishing or having or holding was ever done without desire. Isn't our greatest discontent and unhappiness, our lack of fulfillment, and our pain and sorrows all stem from our desire to have soemthing and not have it? In John 10:10 Jesus says, "I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." Not all desire is sin. Desire is essential to bringing us life. This book is saying that when we bury our desires, we are saying to God that we think He's too hard-hearted to give us our desires even though that's exactly what He's invited us to do. When we bury our desires or ignore them and call it maturity or sanctification, it's really godlessness.
"To live with desire is to choose vulnerability over self-protection; to admit our desire and seek help beyond ourselves is even more vulnerable. It is an act of trust. In other words, those who know their desire and refuse to kill it, or refuse to act as though they don't need help, they are the ones who live by faith. Those who do not ask do not trust God enough to desire. They have no faith. The deepest moral issue is always what we, in the heart of hearts, believe about God. And nothing reveals this belief as clearly as what we do with our desire."
I believe that quote. I think this book holds some basic truths. I was up almost all night for the past two nights contemplating what my desires are and telling them to God. I want my faith to be worth something. And so I'm going to be vulnerable. Here are my desires:
1. My greatest desire is to be a godly woman. My immediate desire for my relationship with Christ is to hear His voice more clearly and to have the strength to follow Him. I want to give Him control (and that is definately something that I have a hard time handing over). I desire to put Him first and find my worth and identity in Him.
2. Family relationships. I desire to forgive and be forgiven. I want to feel the love of my family. I hope it won't always be dependent on what I can do for them or what they hope to get out of me. Most of the time I feel like they only love me when they need me and that I'm only as good as how much I can give. In five years I've gained the love of three children and been "mom" to them in many ways, but other than that I still don't feel any better or accepted or loved. I want a healthier family dynamic. My desire is to feel about them the way I did ten years ago. Like we meant the world to one another, loved one another and would go to the ends of the earth for one another.
3. I feel selfish just writing it, but I feel the desire to stop trying to fix the addicts and recovering addicts in my life. There are too many of them and their needs are too great for me to handle on my own. And I keep getting handed that responsibility over and over again. It's hard to set up boundaries (let alone a life for yourself)when you have so many that you love with that kind of need of healing. And I'm good at filling those needs and helping them get healed over time with an abundance of love and patience. Yet, there is great cost to me to do it. I'm a bad person for desiring to not do it anymore.
4. Having a part in the lives of children. Children tend to love me and I love them right back. Unlike many adults, a child doesn't have to be of my own body to be loved like my own child (helping to raise three has taught me that). At work there is a lot of love. I walk into work thinking about them, excited to see them, bursting with anticipation at what needs of theirs I can meet that day. I don't hesitate at building them up and loving them and letting them know it. And the more "damaged" the child the more I love them. Most people don't love the troubled ones, but those are the ones I gravitate to naturally and the ones that come to me too. Especially the young lads. They remind me of Dalton, I suppose. If I ever have my own kids I'll consider it a blessing, but if I don't I won't consider my life any less blessed. God gave me the ability to make the world's kids my own and I intend to do it.
Why, just yesterday one of the little boys came up behind me after months of not seeing me, hoisted himself up for the most loving of hugs. He just rested his little face in the crook of my neck and held on. So trusting. So loving. One of the other kids even asked him if I were his mommy.
5. Friendships. I desire lasting relationships where the love I show them is reciprocated. I just don't feel valued. Or like I have any worth in their lives. Lately it seems like they don't have the time or the desire for me. I do have needs, but it feels like they want me when they want their needs met but not when I have need of their friendship. I want friends that truly love me. Friends that see the good and the bad and still want me around. Friends that actually ask me questions about me and my life when we're together. Friends that put in the time and effort even when they don't necessarily feel like it. It's kind of sad, but I know a lot about my friends when they know very little about me. I know I'm a gaurded person, but after trust is established I'll tell them just about anything they might want to know. Some know a few little things, but they don't know the big things like why and how I became a Christian or the influence Dalton has had on my life....why I love him so much that I can't just walk away. They don't know how I've felt about the last ten years or the last intense five years. They don't ever ask about me (not even a simple question about how my day went) and what else am I to conclude but that they don't find me worth the time or effort. I desire good friendships. I'm not trying to seem superior when I say that I'll do just about anything for my friends when they need something. I'll stay up all night trying to show them love and meet their needs. Why doesn't anyone do that for me???
6. Romance. I do want a husband. I'll admit that. It never seemed important before, but when you've opened Pandora's box and you've experienced feelings you never knew you could have you can't completely shut that again. And it sucks. I don't measure up and I never will. I want to be the type of wife God intends for a man to have and I want a husband. That's hard.
So that's it. Vulnerable, right?
Lately I've been feeling like I have absolutely no worth in the eyes of other people. And I mean NO WORTH. Underappreciated, misunderstood, not taken seriously, ignored, displaced, just plain not measuring up to people's ideals or my own yardstick, letting down God....the repeating theme here is not being good enough. So I started questioning my place and all the relationships in my life. Things I was sure about I started questioning and the worst part is that I began to think of my own needs and desires as being the furthest thing from anyone's consideration or care and definately something God was ignoring. I was so upset I stopped hearing (or listening for)God's voice and guidance. That was devastating because I rarely don't hear His voice and ever since the day I loved Jesus He's given me the uncanny knack of being able to distinguish Him from all the white noise around me. That's why I've always been so sure of myself and my relationships and where I was headed in my own life. I had to take a step back from those things so that I could A) build myself back up because I knew darn well that nobody else would help me, B)get some perspective and make some decisions and C)find His voice again so that I could be still and know that He's God. Then I took a direction I feel guilty about and have only took once before. Instead of fighting through the pain and frustration and putting on a happy face I took to flight. Suddenly, making others a priority when they only make me an option seemed unhealthy and unfair. I put others off to allow myself time to think. It wasn't an easy thing to do, but a friend of mine that I was talking to about all of this said that although they wouldn't give me advice they would tell me what they were hearing and what they were hearing is that in one case I was putting my hope in others and in the other I would be putting more of it in God. Wanting to focus on God first and then all the relationships, I decided to start with finding things to help me hear Him again. Reading helps and that's when I found this book. It definately wasn't the type of book I was looking for (I bought four others as well)but it was what I needed.
The basic message of this book is that the greatest human tragedy is to give up the search for what our hearts truly desire because it causes us to lose hope. We all have longings and the knowledge that all is not as it should be, yet our reaction isn't to embrace our desires and cultivate them. Instead, we kill our desires because they seem too perfect, too great to accomplish, too good for us or think them unobtainable and then deny those longings and desires and call it the path to maturity and sanctification. We do this because to allow ourselves to desire something more can cause deep pain and disappointment. We let ourselves just "get by" and then we get used to it. We deny ourselves joy and passion and the true contentment and peace that God wants and designed for us to have. We are desire. Jesus was desire. And nothing worth accomplishing or having or holding was ever done without desire. Isn't our greatest discontent and unhappiness, our lack of fulfillment, and our pain and sorrows all stem from our desire to have soemthing and not have it? In John 10:10 Jesus says, "I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." Not all desire is sin. Desire is essential to bringing us life. This book is saying that when we bury our desires, we are saying to God that we think He's too hard-hearted to give us our desires even though that's exactly what He's invited us to do. When we bury our desires or ignore them and call it maturity or sanctification, it's really godlessness.
"To live with desire is to choose vulnerability over self-protection; to admit our desire and seek help beyond ourselves is even more vulnerable. It is an act of trust. In other words, those who know their desire and refuse to kill it, or refuse to act as though they don't need help, they are the ones who live by faith. Those who do not ask do not trust God enough to desire. They have no faith. The deepest moral issue is always what we, in the heart of hearts, believe about God. And nothing reveals this belief as clearly as what we do with our desire."
I believe that quote. I think this book holds some basic truths. I was up almost all night for the past two nights contemplating what my desires are and telling them to God. I want my faith to be worth something. And so I'm going to be vulnerable. Here are my desires:
1. My greatest desire is to be a godly woman. My immediate desire for my relationship with Christ is to hear His voice more clearly and to have the strength to follow Him. I want to give Him control (and that is definately something that I have a hard time handing over). I desire to put Him first and find my worth and identity in Him.
2. Family relationships. I desire to forgive and be forgiven. I want to feel the love of my family. I hope it won't always be dependent on what I can do for them or what they hope to get out of me. Most of the time I feel like they only love me when they need me and that I'm only as good as how much I can give. In five years I've gained the love of three children and been "mom" to them in many ways, but other than that I still don't feel any better or accepted or loved. I want a healthier family dynamic. My desire is to feel about them the way I did ten years ago. Like we meant the world to one another, loved one another and would go to the ends of the earth for one another.
3. I feel selfish just writing it, but I feel the desire to stop trying to fix the addicts and recovering addicts in my life. There are too many of them and their needs are too great for me to handle on my own. And I keep getting handed that responsibility over and over again. It's hard to set up boundaries (let alone a life for yourself)when you have so many that you love with that kind of need of healing. And I'm good at filling those needs and helping them get healed over time with an abundance of love and patience. Yet, there is great cost to me to do it. I'm a bad person for desiring to not do it anymore.
4. Having a part in the lives of children. Children tend to love me and I love them right back. Unlike many adults, a child doesn't have to be of my own body to be loved like my own child (helping to raise three has taught me that). At work there is a lot of love. I walk into work thinking about them, excited to see them, bursting with anticipation at what needs of theirs I can meet that day. I don't hesitate at building them up and loving them and letting them know it. And the more "damaged" the child the more I love them. Most people don't love the troubled ones, but those are the ones I gravitate to naturally and the ones that come to me too. Especially the young lads. They remind me of Dalton, I suppose. If I ever have my own kids I'll consider it a blessing, but if I don't I won't consider my life any less blessed. God gave me the ability to make the world's kids my own and I intend to do it.
Why, just yesterday one of the little boys came up behind me after months of not seeing me, hoisted himself up for the most loving of hugs. He just rested his little face in the crook of my neck and held on. So trusting. So loving. One of the other kids even asked him if I were his mommy.
5. Friendships. I desire lasting relationships where the love I show them is reciprocated. I just don't feel valued. Or like I have any worth in their lives. Lately it seems like they don't have the time or the desire for me. I do have needs, but it feels like they want me when they want their needs met but not when I have need of their friendship. I want friends that truly love me. Friends that see the good and the bad and still want me around. Friends that actually ask me questions about me and my life when we're together. Friends that put in the time and effort even when they don't necessarily feel like it. It's kind of sad, but I know a lot about my friends when they know very little about me. I know I'm a gaurded person, but after trust is established I'll tell them just about anything they might want to know. Some know a few little things, but they don't know the big things like why and how I became a Christian or the influence Dalton has had on my life....why I love him so much that I can't just walk away. They don't know how I've felt about the last ten years or the last intense five years. They don't ever ask about me (not even a simple question about how my day went) and what else am I to conclude but that they don't find me worth the time or effort. I desire good friendships. I'm not trying to seem superior when I say that I'll do just about anything for my friends when they need something. I'll stay up all night trying to show them love and meet their needs. Why doesn't anyone do that for me???
6. Romance. I do want a husband. I'll admit that. It never seemed important before, but when you've opened Pandora's box and you've experienced feelings you never knew you could have you can't completely shut that again. And it sucks. I don't measure up and I never will. I want to be the type of wife God intends for a man to have and I want a husband. That's hard.
So that's it. Vulnerable, right?
December 11, 2018
THIS WAS A POST SENT TO ME, From
Alexandria If you’re going to give a book one star, maybe include at least one reason why. You’re just talking about yourself here.
Thank you mom!
IM SO GLAD THIS LADY FELT IT WAS HER RIGHT TO SEND ME A POST OF WHAT TO DO & TOOK TIME OUT OF HER DAY TO TELL ME.
Since when are we not allowed to talk about ourself or how things make us feel?
I've had this book for years... Needless to say I believe people break away from church because we are made to fear God plain and simple. I don't know how I feel about this book. It's not for me. Maybe I'll pick it up again later and like it. I've been known to do that.
Alexandria If you’re going to give a book one star, maybe include at least one reason why. You’re just talking about yourself here.
Thank you mom!
IM SO GLAD THIS LADY FELT IT WAS HER RIGHT TO SEND ME A POST OF WHAT TO DO & TOOK TIME OUT OF HER DAY TO TELL ME.
Since when are we not allowed to talk about ourself or how things make us feel?
I've had this book for years... Needless to say I believe people break away from church because we are made to fear God plain and simple. I don't know how I feel about this book. It's not for me. Maybe I'll pick it up again later and like it. I've been known to do that.
April 29, 2018
This book was given to me but sat for some months unread - the introduction and opening chapter just didn't resonate. I just wasn't sure where it was going. I put it aside. Some time passed and then I decided to flick through it again, and fell upon the title of Chapter 6: 'The Divine Thwarter'. Interesting concept. Who thinks of God in this way? What kind of God might thwart our efforts and intentions - especially if they are good and wholesome and altogether reasonable? Reflecting on the last 15 years, there are times that I have felt thwarted. I decided to read the chapter.
In this chapter, Eldredge explains that in our efforts to secure 'the dream' here on earth, in this lifetime, we tend to make idols of things here which distract us from loving God as we should. We pursue things which, truly, hold only 'a false and imaginary happiness'. Ironically, many of these 'idols' are good things in and of themselves. Sometimes they are even ministry-oriented. He writes: 'Most of our idols also have a perfectly legitimate place in our lives. That's their cover. That how we get away with our infidelity' (p.80).
Wow. This is a challenging concept, but resonated enough with me to get me to read the book in its entirety, from the start. It was still not a straightforward read: it is in someways deeply counter-cultural and requires a certain degree of honesty and a readiness to dig deep. It will only appeal to readers who have reached a stage in their life journey where they are aware of deep, unfulfilled longings in their hearts and encountered a certain degree of disappointment with life so far. Don't read this book because you enjoyed Eldredge's bestseller, Wild at Heart - you may be disappointed.
I'm glad I read Desire, and have indeed found it useful in reflecting on my own life journey. I won't endeavour to explain it to you, but will give you a couple of quotes which, for me, are significant in summing it up.
If this is a little enigmatic for you, then that's okay. For me, I return the book to the shelf resolved to be a pilgrim, not an arranger, and ready to embrace the mystery of life rather than always seeking to possess and control.
The book remains, however, hugely life-affirming and hopeful. Readers who are able to enter into the central ideas, will appreciate how this second quote encapsulates a major theme:
The book is rich in quotations from classic philosophers and writers such as Pascal, George Eliot, Dan Allender, Larry Crabb and Thomas a Kempis plus favourites such as George MacDonald and CS Lewis. I would have appreciated some more detailed referencing or, at least, a bibliography, so that I could read further.
In this chapter, Eldredge explains that in our efforts to secure 'the dream' here on earth, in this lifetime, we tend to make idols of things here which distract us from loving God as we should. We pursue things which, truly, hold only 'a false and imaginary happiness'. Ironically, many of these 'idols' are good things in and of themselves. Sometimes they are even ministry-oriented. He writes: 'Most of our idols also have a perfectly legitimate place in our lives. That's their cover. That how we get away with our infidelity' (p.80).
Wow. This is a challenging concept, but resonated enough with me to get me to read the book in its entirety, from the start. It was still not a straightforward read: it is in someways deeply counter-cultural and requires a certain degree of honesty and a readiness to dig deep. It will only appeal to readers who have reached a stage in their life journey where they are aware of deep, unfulfilled longings in their hearts and encountered a certain degree of disappointment with life so far. Don't read this book because you enjoyed Eldredge's bestseller, Wild at Heart - you may be disappointed.
I'm glad I read Desire, and have indeed found it useful in reflecting on my own life journey. I won't endeavour to explain it to you, but will give you a couple of quotes which, for me, are significant in summing it up.
"There are three things that we must come to terms with in our deep heart. First, we must have life. Second, we cannot arrange for it. Third, it is coming."
If this is a little enigmatic for you, then that's okay. For me, I return the book to the shelf resolved to be a pilgrim, not an arranger, and ready to embrace the mystery of life rather than always seeking to possess and control.
The book remains, however, hugely life-affirming and hopeful. Readers who are able to enter into the central ideas, will appreciate how this second quote encapsulates a major theme:
"Life is a desperate quest through dangerous country to a destination that is, beyond our wildest hopes, indescribably good."
The book is rich in quotations from classic philosophers and writers such as Pascal, George Eliot, Dan Allender, Larry Crabb and Thomas a Kempis plus favourites such as George MacDonald and CS Lewis. I would have appreciated some more detailed referencing or, at least, a bibliography, so that I could read further.
November 13, 2024
TL;DR - “Unplug from the clamor and make room for eternity in your life.”
I stumbled into this book at a thrift store on the same day I finished the wonderful BBC docuseries “The Century of the Self.” I was suddenly passionate and horrified by how consumed we’ve become with our own desires, and how million-dollar corporations manipulate them for profit. I assumed that God handed me this book to fuel the fire I felt.
But instead of getting me worked up about the downfall of modern society, it redirected my eyes back to genesis of everything. Every single desire is an echo of Eden. It’s what we were made for, and it’s what our souls long for. Maybe you feel it calling, too, but have never pinpointed the ache.
I admire how John Eldredge guides readers through a journey of discovering the beautiful, God-centered truth of desire. His incorporation of scripture, poetry, song lyrics, and literature is impeccable!
“Holiness is not numbness; it is sensitivity. It is being more attuned to our desires, to what we were truly made for and therefore what we truly want. Our problem is that we’ve grown quite used to seeking life and all kinds of things other than God.”
I stumbled into this book at a thrift store on the same day I finished the wonderful BBC docuseries “The Century of the Self.” I was suddenly passionate and horrified by how consumed we’ve become with our own desires, and how million-dollar corporations manipulate them for profit. I assumed that God handed me this book to fuel the fire I felt.
But instead of getting me worked up about the downfall of modern society, it redirected my eyes back to genesis of everything. Every single desire is an echo of Eden. It’s what we were made for, and it’s what our souls long for. Maybe you feel it calling, too, but have never pinpointed the ache.
I admire how John Eldredge guides readers through a journey of discovering the beautiful, God-centered truth of desire. His incorporation of scripture, poetry, song lyrics, and literature is impeccable!
“Holiness is not numbness; it is sensitivity. It is being more attuned to our desires, to what we were truly made for and therefore what we truly want. Our problem is that we’ve grown quite used to seeking life and all kinds of things other than God.”
February 2, 2013
I did not like this book. I did, however, love another one of his books; "Walking with God; Talk to Him, Hear from Him" . I believe timing of reading them in my life had everything to do with liking one book; not liking the other. I must be fair.
I read this book while single, while going through some challenges at work with the certainty of the position I was posted in as temporary (hoping for permanency). I was in a new city, trying something different. I thought this book would help me. I was not happy as I read along, but hoped by the end I felt better. I didn't. I felt that the steps I took to make my dreams happen were contrary to the suggestions the book gave for me. I felt conflicted as I read it.
It isn't written poorly, or without thought. Not at all. I just felt like my dreams weren't happening and I was not thrilled reading about the search for our dreams and the longing that is unfulfilled. I didn't like the book, but will assume it was because it hit a nerve, versus being a bad book. I wonder if I re-read it now, having achieved the dreams I was struggling to achieve when I read it, if I would look back and go, 'ahhhh, yes', I understand now. Maybe. But I don't think I'll re-read it; there are too many other books I would rather read.
I read this book while single, while going through some challenges at work with the certainty of the position I was posted in as temporary (hoping for permanency). I was in a new city, trying something different. I thought this book would help me. I was not happy as I read along, but hoped by the end I felt better. I didn't. I felt that the steps I took to make my dreams happen were contrary to the suggestions the book gave for me. I felt conflicted as I read it.
It isn't written poorly, or without thought. Not at all. I just felt like my dreams weren't happening and I was not thrilled reading about the search for our dreams and the longing that is unfulfilled. I didn't like the book, but will assume it was because it hit a nerve, versus being a bad book. I wonder if I re-read it now, having achieved the dreams I was struggling to achieve when I read it, if I would look back and go, 'ahhhh, yes', I understand now. Maybe. But I don't think I'll re-read it; there are too many other books I would rather read.
May 16, 2019
There were elements of Eldredge's book that I loved. Yet, I sometimes found myself thinking he was going over the same things again and again. Also, I disagree with some of his philosophy. I absolutely loved Wild at Heart but didn't like this book as much. One portion of this book I did love was when Eldredge talked about our forgetfulness when it comes to God and the need to keep remembering.
February 16, 2009
John Eldredge’s The Journey of Desire is a book that met me right where I needed to be. The basic premise of this work is that people need to recover their desires, their true desires, and go after them. For believers, that means we need to thirst for and long for life with God that we also need to follow those desires that are given to us - our vocations, our passions, our loves. . . Wow, did I need to be reminded of that. As Eldredge points out, so much of life tells us to deaden our desires, to just get through the day, to make it work out, to survive . . . we stop yearning for things because it hurts when we don’t get them (or when we don’t get them right away), and when we stop yearning, we are not living fully into the lives God has given us.
Yep, that’s it . . . that’s what I need to be reminded of - that the true desires I have (not the wishy-washy desire to eat more Girl Scout cookies or to nap all day) are from God, that they are things laid into my very nature by the Creator, by the one who redeems, not ruins. And then, I also need to remember that I need not strive or orchestrate to get the things that I desire. God has it all under control and if I simply live the life I’m given and love God through it, the things I desire will come to me. Sometimes this seems so hard because sometimes the things I think I want are not really the things I want in the deepest part of my self; sometimes, too, the things I do want are a long time coming. . . but here, then, is where I must learn to trust that these things will come at the right time? Now, to do that . . . well, that’s must harder . . .
Yep, that’s it . . . that’s what I need to be reminded of - that the true desires I have (not the wishy-washy desire to eat more Girl Scout cookies or to nap all day) are from God, that they are things laid into my very nature by the Creator, by the one who redeems, not ruins. And then, I also need to remember that I need not strive or orchestrate to get the things that I desire. God has it all under control and if I simply live the life I’m given and love God through it, the things I desire will come to me. Sometimes this seems so hard because sometimes the things I think I want are not really the things I want in the deepest part of my self; sometimes, too, the things I do want are a long time coming. . . but here, then, is where I must learn to trust that these things will come at the right time? Now, to do that . . . well, that’s must harder . . .
January 25, 2013
I tend to rate books on how much they'll be memorable and continue to change my life after I'm done reading them.
I read part of this book and then returned to it. I don't recall a whole lot about the first 3/4, but the last quarter of the book made it well worth it for me.
Eldredge talked a lot about desire and how God created us with a restless longing for him. I've spent a lot of my life shying away from desire, thinking it wrong, or wrong in an unmarried season of life, at least. Eldredge contributed to God's healing of my heart on the subject: purity and desire can coexist. They can and they do. He says our choices are to be addicted, to be alive and hungry, or to be dead. I'll take alive and hungry, thankyouverymuch.
Toward the end, too, the book focused on being ever mindful of God and our need for him. How quickly we forget, because we have replaced so many of our innate God-desires with other things. The book calls us to refocus, to reprioritize, and to heal our idea of this restless desire God has put within us - to rid ourselves of deadness and addiction and to live "alive and hungry" each day. Even so that's just a glimpse of the life that is to come.
Powerful in the end.
I read part of this book and then returned to it. I don't recall a whole lot about the first 3/4, but the last quarter of the book made it well worth it for me.
Eldredge talked a lot about desire and how God created us with a restless longing for him. I've spent a lot of my life shying away from desire, thinking it wrong, or wrong in an unmarried season of life, at least. Eldredge contributed to God's healing of my heart on the subject: purity and desire can coexist. They can and they do. He says our choices are to be addicted, to be alive and hungry, or to be dead. I'll take alive and hungry, thankyouverymuch.
Toward the end, too, the book focused on being ever mindful of God and our need for him. How quickly we forget, because we have replaced so many of our innate God-desires with other things. The book calls us to refocus, to reprioritize, and to heal our idea of this restless desire God has put within us - to rid ourselves of deadness and addiction and to live "alive and hungry" each day. Even so that's just a glimpse of the life that is to come.
Powerful in the end.
November 26, 2017
There are some nuggets in this book but I found it generally very difficult to read with all the excerpts from songs, poetry, Shakespeare, and various other authors of old heavily dispersed throughout it. Also, I was disappointed that the story of the sea lion just ended with a glimpse at hope, but no actual conclusion. I would have given up on this book in the first few chapters had we not been reading it together as staff!!!!
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
August 12, 2016
It is allowing me to question why I put things away in my heart and focus on the mere survival of life. I am starting to challenge myself in either living out my desires (stemming from who God created me to be) or grieving those desires that will never come to be. What an eye opener.
November 6, 2009
right now- just amazing
December 26, 2020
What a beautiful journey Mr. Eldredge took me on this winter. I would consider myself a pretty passionate person, but I was taught more often than not that the Christian way is a logical focus on apologetics or illogical focus on “faith,” but either way there was little room for all those emotions I had. My desires, too, I was taught to see as a snare in the journey to “seek first the kingdom of God,” which I was taught to see as a command that good Christians should just eagerly await singing in heaven forever.
I don’t know if you were ever taught anything this stifling, or if you grew up chasing every whim and fancy without a second thought. Regardless of where you fall on the “desire-acceptability spectrum,” Eldredge has wisdom and grace to speak to your heart about desire: what it is, the pain and fear that can come from mishandling it, and the absolute beauty and life that can happen in truly living it as God intended. Reading this book felt like taking deep breaths of pure air that went straight down into the capillaries of my soul and heart. Even as I was reaching the final chapters, I found that my newfound understanding had so reoriented my perspective on life, that a previous constant struggle in my life did not plague me at all anymore; I knew how to handle it in a way no self-help book or sermon had ever taught me. It was that life-changing for me. I will be returning to this book to read again someday, and in the meantime will be recommending it to everyone I know.
My only complaint is, *spoiler* we never get to hear if the seal makes it to the ocean!
I don’t know if you were ever taught anything this stifling, or if you grew up chasing every whim and fancy without a second thought. Regardless of where you fall on the “desire-acceptability spectrum,” Eldredge has wisdom and grace to speak to your heart about desire: what it is, the pain and fear that can come from mishandling it, and the absolute beauty and life that can happen in truly living it as God intended. Reading this book felt like taking deep breaths of pure air that went straight down into the capillaries of my soul and heart. Even as I was reaching the final chapters, I found that my newfound understanding had so reoriented my perspective on life, that a previous constant struggle in my life did not plague me at all anymore; I knew how to handle it in a way no self-help book or sermon had ever taught me. It was that life-changing for me. I will be returning to this book to read again someday, and in the meantime will be recommending it to everyone I know.
My only complaint is, *spoiler* we never get to hear if the seal makes it to the ocean!
Read
May 15, 2019Um livro que falou profundamente comigo em uma época muito oportuna. Talvez eu possa descrevê-lo como uma versão expandida de "Peso de Glória", o meu artigo preferido do C. S. Lewis, embora contando também com a forma e estilo de escrita de pastor americano (mas não por isso algo ruim). Eldredge demonstra de várias formas belíssimas que a vida cristã consiste em ansiar constantemente por aquilo para que fomos criados: um relacionamento íntimo com Deus em um mundo criado perfeito para nós e que demonstra seu amor e cuidado. Sendo assim, a batalha fundamental do cristão encontra-se no coração, e sua luta é contra a tentação de deixar de desejar - seja porque achou que já encontrou aquilo que deseja (idolatria e vício) ou seja porque preferiu o caminho da resignação, cinismo ou niilismo. Viver no anseio (ou aquilo que Lewis chamava de "alegria inconsolável") dói, como toda a criação que geme e suporta angústias, mas é o melhor a fazer. Como disse Chesterton, em uma citação do livro: "a verdadeira felicidade é que nós não nos encaixamos". Ou, como orou George MacDonald, também citado no livro:
"When I can no more stir my soul to move,
And life is but the ashes of a fire;
When I can but remember that my heart
Once used to live and love, long and aspire -
Oh, be thou then the first, the one thou art;
Be thou the calling, before all answering love,
And in me wake hope, fear, boundless desire."
(George MacDonald, Diary of an Old Soul)
"When I can no more stir my soul to move,
And life is but the ashes of a fire;
When I can but remember that my heart
Once used to live and love, long and aspire -
Oh, be thou then the first, the one thou art;
Be thou the calling, before all answering love,
And in me wake hope, fear, boundless desire."
(George MacDonald, Diary of an Old Soul)
May 19, 2021
4.5
Nieko nėra blogiau nei būti pusšiltiems šiame pasaulyje. Dažnai kaip krikščionys mes esame skatinami nenorėti daugiau nei duota, taip užmetame visus savo tikruosius troškimus į tą ,,tu čia per daug nori" kategoriją. Autorius skatina išbūti nepatogumuose, sielvarte, kuris išvalo ir atneša pilnatvę bei troškimą; pažiūrėti, kas slepiasi už didelių baimės akių, ten giliau, nuo ko mes bėgame. Ir pagaliau p a s i i l g t i kažko daugiau ir to siekti visa savo širdimi.
,,Matote, skirtingi keliai veda į skirtingas vietas. Norėdami surasti troškimų žemę, turite leistis į troškimų kelionę. Ten nepateksite jokiu kitu būdu. Jei norime leistis į kelionę, turime atgauti širdis, kas lygu atgauti troškimą." (160 psl.)
,,Tiesa tokia, kad daugelis iš mūsų gyvename atitrūkę nuo savo širdies. Mums reikia su ja susipažinti, mums reikia sužinoti, ko mes iš tiesų norime." (164 psl.)
Nieko nėra blogiau nei būti pusšiltiems šiame pasaulyje. Dažnai kaip krikščionys mes esame skatinami nenorėti daugiau nei duota, taip užmetame visus savo tikruosius troškimus į tą ,,tu čia per daug nori" kategoriją. Autorius skatina išbūti nepatogumuose, sielvarte, kuris išvalo ir atneša pilnatvę bei troškimą; pažiūrėti, kas slepiasi už didelių baimės akių, ten giliau, nuo ko mes bėgame. Ir pagaliau p a s i i l g t i kažko daugiau ir to siekti visa savo širdimi.
,,Matote, skirtingi keliai veda į skirtingas vietas. Norėdami surasti troškimų žemę, turite leistis į troškimų kelionę. Ten nepateksite jokiu kitu būdu. Jei norime leistis į kelionę, turime atgauti širdis, kas lygu atgauti troškimą." (160 psl.)
,,Tiesa tokia, kad daugelis iš mūsų gyvename atitrūkę nuo savo širdies. Mums reikia su ja susipažinti, mums reikia sužinoti, ko mes iš tiesų norime." (164 psl.)
May 1, 2023
Another amazing read by Eldredge.
Not much to say aside from that fact that I leave this one feeling hopeful. This life is not all that there is and I know that somewhere, on the horizon, Glory awaits.
‘Nuff said.
Not much to say aside from that fact that I leave this one feeling hopeful. This life is not all that there is and I know that somewhere, on the horizon, Glory awaits.
‘Nuff said.
April 23, 2021
Wow. Just wow. Not very helpful review, but, wow! Such a powerful book. You should read it!!
May 31, 2018
I couldn't really focus on what the book is about. I think I was expectig something else.
February 11, 2022
The book is beautifully written and had several things I highlighted, but cannot fully recommend or give 5 stars because he recommends some steps that are not spiritually healthy and also the concepts get muddied and he takes the gender thing a bit too ridiculously far (see his other book captivating.)
the book however does have some beautiful excerpts on Heaven, idolatry of the heart, and the beauty of desire.
the book however does have some beautiful excerpts on Heaven, idolatry of the heart, and the beauty of desire.
November 18, 2021
I knew about John Eldredge and read some of his other books. He never seems to stop surprising my. The way he writes.. it’s like he’s in front of you, at a coffe table just chatting- sharing ideas. Soo good. The topic, how it was addresses. Everything about it. My fav quote “ still something in me knows that to kill desire is to kill my heart alltogether”
July 1, 2017
I really enjoyed this book and this author. His book Wild at Heart is 1 of my favorite books ever. I do not see eye to eye with everything this Christian author writes. I do enjoy his uplifting books and when I read them, I feel like I have heard an inspiring church message.
November 19, 2023
This book is exactly what I needed at this point of my life. Desire is not a bad thing! Reading this book has helped me to understand myself and my desires in a more healthy and Godly way.
January 14, 2013
I will not soon leave behind some of the impressions that this book made on me. Eldredge didn't cover very much new territory in Desire, but his approach made it a very personal book in it's delivery. So much of the book, other than the wonderful draw of quotes and illustrations, came across like a conversation with a counselor or friend.
A good portion of the book's inspiration is drawn from the death of a good friend of the author and from that grief Eldredge dives into an exploration of the desires of our heart. Why are they there? Why are they so strong? Can we trust them? Will they ever truly be fulfilled? What do we do with them until they are?
The last several chapters laid out a wonderfully honest treatment of the perpetual longing that we will live with in this life, and then an encouraging challenge to not blunt those longings, but stir them up and let them drive and motivate us to pursue the Author of all true desire. The avoidance of a simple answer endeared me to Eldredge, helped me feel out just what he was saying, and also connected my heart with the message of the book.
In a poignant quote Eldredge almost summarizes the theme of this book:
"The fact is, at this point in our journey, we have only three options:(1) to be alive and thirsty, (2) to be dead, (3) to be addicted. There are no other choices. Most of the world lives in addiction; most of the church has chosen deadness. The Christian is called to the life of holy longing. But we don't like to stay there." (p 200)
I recommend this to anyone, those with questions about the void that we all feel from time to time, and those with current questions (as that is a possible indication of callous in our soul). It reads fairly quickly, his use of quotes is inspiring and tweetable, and his content is meaningful.
A good portion of the book's inspiration is drawn from the death of a good friend of the author and from that grief Eldredge dives into an exploration of the desires of our heart. Why are they there? Why are they so strong? Can we trust them? Will they ever truly be fulfilled? What do we do with them until they are?
The last several chapters laid out a wonderfully honest treatment of the perpetual longing that we will live with in this life, and then an encouraging challenge to not blunt those longings, but stir them up and let them drive and motivate us to pursue the Author of all true desire. The avoidance of a simple answer endeared me to Eldredge, helped me feel out just what he was saying, and also connected my heart with the message of the book.
In a poignant quote Eldredge almost summarizes the theme of this book:
"The fact is, at this point in our journey, we have only three options:(1) to be alive and thirsty, (2) to be dead, (3) to be addicted. There are no other choices. Most of the world lives in addiction; most of the church has chosen deadness. The Christian is called to the life of holy longing. But we don't like to stay there." (p 200)
I recommend this to anyone, those with questions about the void that we all feel from time to time, and those with current questions (as that is a possible indication of callous in our soul). It reads fairly quickly, his use of quotes is inspiring and tweetable, and his content is meaningful.
January 11, 2025
Hmmm definitely an interesting one to ponder. I have been suggesting this book to a lot of people strictly because I think these opposing questions of 1. Am I fully awake to the desires that God has put in me? (Instead of numb) And 2. Am I a slave to my desire? (Addicted) are helpful. I think I have assumed it’s one or the other but really, different parts of life may be different. They are also questions a lot of us seem to be asking. Not sure if this book really has helpful answers and someone else I know reading it has said they may need to read again. I feel the same. So not sure if I should recommend but definitely a helpful dive in pondering what is honest and true within.
Listened as an audiobook
Listened as an audiobook
November 17, 2014
The analytical side of me feels like this book is kind of ADD. In that though there is definitely a lot to be gleaned from it. The last three chapters and the chapter intros with the sea lion looking for the sea to me are the most important parts of the book. There is a deep yearning in all of us and most don't really know what to do with it. This book seeks to explain some of that and inspire us to move past the hurt and embrace the love and grace that Christ offers us.
August 1, 2020
Re-read it. The most beautiful book I’ve read in my entire life. I can‘t properly fathom the words to describe the effect this book has had (and still has...) on me. Go and read it yourself, you’ll see what I mean.
A word of warning: You will never look the same way at “joy”, “grief”, “disappointment”, “desire”, “hope”, “heaven”, “eternity” and “longing” again. It changed me - permanently and unalterably - for the better.
A word of warning: You will never look the same way at “joy”, “grief”, “disappointment”, “desire”, “hope”, “heaven”, “eternity” and “longing” again. It changed me - permanently and unalterably - for the better.
November 6, 2012
It's really a hard work on part of the author to come up with such an excellent book. It does dig the very core of human's desire - the need to live in accordance with God's will and ways which so often bombarded by the world's enticing offers for a better life. This book reminds me to desire for the best and what is worthwhile in this once given life.
June 3, 2019
I was surprised by how much I enjoyed and resonated with what was in this book. Eldredge's main point is that we are generally scared to listen to and live out of our deep desires. It's easier to distract ourselves than to feel and be let down. However, desire is a key part of the Christian life as it humbles us and causes us to admit how desperate our situation really is.
August 17, 2011
This was the best book I've ever read. I love all of John Eldredge's writings and so far this book is unmatched. I'm presently reading "Waking the Dead" and it's starting off just as good as I'd hoped.
July 3, 2013
This is a faith-based self help tome, which is not my typical cup of tea. But a friend recommended it and my wife enjoyed it, so I thought I would try it. I liked how it used scripture and it definitely made me think about my relationship with God.
August 20, 2018
Many of us have become so disconnected from desire that we’re unable to even talk about it. All we can express is what our culture tells us we should desire—larger bank accounts, better jobs, bigger houses. John helps us reconnect to our true hearts and to the desires God’s placed within them.
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