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Talk Less Say More( 3 Habits to Influence Others and Make Things Happen)[TALK LESS SAY MORE][Hardcover]
Talk Less Say More( 3 Habits to Influence Others and Make Things Happen) <> Hardcover <> ConnieDieken <> JohnWiley&Sons
Hardcover
First published September 18, 2009
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 39 reviews
December 29, 2012
Um. This is going to be tough. High on buzzwords, low on solid, actionable content. Platitude heavy. Audiobook has the feel of an infomercial.
I’ll stop at that.
I’ll stop at that.
February 23, 2016
I’m sure my staff gets tired of hearing my mantra that when it comes to writing, less is often more. No one reads long memos. Press releases and newsletter articles that are more than a few hundred words are, more often than not, ignored. When you have something to say to me, tell me; get to the point. Long stories are best shared over a cup of coffee or a pint of beer. There is no need for me to follow you down the rabbit’s trail when you can just tell me where the bunny is. That said, I was excited when I picked up this simple little book. Not only did I find myself wanting to have others read it, I also found that I learned there were a few areas that I needed to sharpen my skills.
Connie Dieken, a former television news anchor, is now a communication coach and the founder and president of onPoint Communication. In this book, she uses the “3 C’s†of communication: “connect, convey and convince.†The three C’s feeds into one of her points, the “mind craves information in multiples of threes.†(83) Dieken explains how “triplets†are deep-rooted within our psyche, making it an efficient way to dispense information and one that she follows throughout the book.
Connecting is the first C and one that has become harder in our current age of information overload. Today, when there is so much information around us, we must sharpen our message in order to insure we connect with those we want to hear us. We begin this by focusing on the needs of those listening, for only by doing so will they tune us in long enough to hear us out. With so much information around us, the power is no longer with the one who has the information but the one receiving it. As she points out, it’s as if the listener has the remote control in his or her hands. (13) Much of this section of the book centers on face-to-face communication where we must learn the “habits†of being a good connector. Such habits include focusing on the other, getting straight to the point, using an appropriate medium of communication, and understanding how the recipient is responding to your message.
Conveying skills involves getting our message across clearly. Because of information overload, we now ignore the vast majority of information available. (66) This means the communicator has to be more aware of how his or her message comes across to others and develop strategies to insure that it’s heard. Crafting such messages include understanding how the eyes are more powerful than the ears. Yet, one must use visuals successfully. She is critical of the way many use powerpoint and argues for a simpler approach, one that highlights the point being made or provides a contrast to drive the point home. She also speaks of the important of the newer forms of social media (Facebook, etc) and how such tools can sharpen one’s message, while providing warnings of how they can be misused. In this section, she develops the importance of threes in presentations and also discusses how one can use stories to hold the attention of the listener. She even provides tools to help develop and use stories to convey important information about the groups and organizations we represent.
Convince is the final “C,†the one that makes the sale. She speaks of how this is not manipulation, for such “success is short-lived.†(110) The successful communicator seeks commitment, not compliance. Keys to gaining commitment include being seen as sincere and decisive, transferring ownership of the ideas to the other party so that they “buy into it†and don’t feel forced into action, and using appropriate energy levels that attracts but doesn’t repel others. She ends this section with a helpful list of gestures and mannerisms the communicator can work on to be more effective when making presentations.
This book is easy to read. In her writing and presentation, Ms. Dieken successfully uses the Connect-Convey-Convince® method (yes, she even has it trademarked) to get across her message. Although the book mostly focuses on face-to-face presentations, some of what she writes about can also be applied to the written word.
this is also posted in my blog.
Connie Dieken, a former television news anchor, is now a communication coach and the founder and president of onPoint Communication. In this book, she uses the “3 C’s†of communication: “connect, convey and convince.†The three C’s feeds into one of her points, the “mind craves information in multiples of threes.†(83) Dieken explains how “triplets†are deep-rooted within our psyche, making it an efficient way to dispense information and one that she follows throughout the book.
Connecting is the first C and one that has become harder in our current age of information overload. Today, when there is so much information around us, we must sharpen our message in order to insure we connect with those we want to hear us. We begin this by focusing on the needs of those listening, for only by doing so will they tune us in long enough to hear us out. With so much information around us, the power is no longer with the one who has the information but the one receiving it. As she points out, it’s as if the listener has the remote control in his or her hands. (13) Much of this section of the book centers on face-to-face communication where we must learn the “habits†of being a good connector. Such habits include focusing on the other, getting straight to the point, using an appropriate medium of communication, and understanding how the recipient is responding to your message.
Conveying skills involves getting our message across clearly. Because of information overload, we now ignore the vast majority of information available. (66) This means the communicator has to be more aware of how his or her message comes across to others and develop strategies to insure that it’s heard. Crafting such messages include understanding how the eyes are more powerful than the ears. Yet, one must use visuals successfully. She is critical of the way many use powerpoint and argues for a simpler approach, one that highlights the point being made or provides a contrast to drive the point home. She also speaks of the important of the newer forms of social media (Facebook, etc) and how such tools can sharpen one’s message, while providing warnings of how they can be misused. In this section, she develops the importance of threes in presentations and also discusses how one can use stories to hold the attention of the listener. She even provides tools to help develop and use stories to convey important information about the groups and organizations we represent.
Convince is the final “C,†the one that makes the sale. She speaks of how this is not manipulation, for such “success is short-lived.†(110) The successful communicator seeks commitment, not compliance. Keys to gaining commitment include being seen as sincere and decisive, transferring ownership of the ideas to the other party so that they “buy into it†and don’t feel forced into action, and using appropriate energy levels that attracts but doesn’t repel others. She ends this section with a helpful list of gestures and mannerisms the communicator can work on to be more effective when making presentations.
This book is easy to read. In her writing and presentation, Ms. Dieken successfully uses the Connect-Convey-Convince® method (yes, she even has it trademarked) to get across her message. Although the book mostly focuses on face-to-face presentations, some of what she writes about can also be applied to the written word.
this is also posted in my blog.
August 13, 2011
Like I mentioned, this book is full of common sense advice and generalizations. The examples she gives are not very illustrative of the points she's trying to make and so they don't really stick. The borderline gimicky trademarked phrases like communiclutter get on my nerves. However, there are some nuggets of wisdom to be gleaned and at the very least the book offers a framework to think about some of these common sense things that we are supposed to know but may not be putting into action.
February 20, 2011
Great concepts. Anyone who's moved from an engineering or technical background to marketing or people facing must read this book. I Don't listen to the audio book, Connie's exuberant acting grows tiresome.
June 19, 2023
I am stunned by the ability of the author to convey an infomercial in the form of a book. That said, for the amount of trademarks scattered within these pages I would’ve hoped to find tips on navigating the daily minor interactions in the workplace! The chapters mostly focus on big presentations which, I am guessing, has to do with the amount of Boomers in the business world because I feel like at this point if you made it through high school without learning to not read your PowerPoint slides to the class you’ve got bigger life problems than this book can ever hope to address.
November 8, 2016
I bought this book because I was many times in situations were I start talking and then there are problems (almost)in stopping me. So the title seemed perfect for me. And although I thought this is going to be one of those motivational books, were you think, yeah right but this is not for me. In this book I really found some valuable advices for me.
I would recommend the book to everybody:
+ who is at least some times professionally or personally in connection with other people. And only if you are one man band virtual organization, we all other are in that group, and
+ especially to managers (or whatever you would like to call yourself) who have to report to their superiors on the on hand and work in group of people on the other hand.
To whom the author doesn't recommend this book:
+ to people with enormous power,
+ to people who get things done by other,
+ to people who save time and money by inspiring others performance,
+ to people who are capable of creating growth, innovation, and profitability by convincing others to act.
I'm not one of those people so I have read the book. And you?
How to get people's attention? Three things to remember:
+ Stay in their moment.
+ Front-load: nail the big idea, chose their PMOC, defuse defensiveness.
+ Goldilocks candour: create a candid culture.
Triplet tactics is one the things that opened my eyes. It goes like this. Blah, Blah, Blah. Yada, Yada, Yada. Or structurally:
+ Key point 1 (and sub-points),
+ Key point 2 (and sub-points), and
+ Key point 3 (and sub-points).
This has helped me even with the web sites content structuring.
To me very important are the words, that the writer claims to be smart hedging words: + might, + may, + consider, + appears to, + could, + should, seems to. Very useful for my English correspondence. To be used in cases when you are not certain but would like to appear credible anyway. So, yes, I am going to consider using smart hedging words. :)
And I should stop tagging, a tag is a small edition at the end of the sentence. Only occasional tag decisively is to be used to win consensus and win agreement. And I sound decisive when I'm convinces myself.
That two above explained tactics (tagging and hedging) are all part of sounding decisive were I should be familiar with the three of them:
+ Stop tagging and Hedging.
+ Contribute to meetings.
+ Voice your opinion with sincerity.
Interesting to know for me was that to be credible and likeable at the same time is not possible. The best is to be right in between. We also all know that the unspoken rule is that receivers are beholden to repay the kindness. The same goes for me me if I would like to achieve something with other people. Thoughtful gestures will help, definitely.
And only some more details:
+ "Pre-Internet, company leaders rallied the troops through reports and annual speeches." of particular interest to me, since I run the interactive annual report design consultancy.
+ one Marco, was named to be: a deliberate perfectionist and an accidental rambler. What a title! :)
+ there are tips how to accept critic and how to critique.
+ "think of a day in your life when every single word, every single sentence, came out exactly as you intended". If you can't think of such a day, do not worry, you are only human. Read this book.
+ I have a dream from dr. Martin Luther King was planned spontaneity.
I would recommend the book to everybody:
+ who is at least some times professionally or personally in connection with other people. And only if you are one man band virtual organization, we all other are in that group, and
+ especially to managers (or whatever you would like to call yourself) who have to report to their superiors on the on hand and work in group of people on the other hand.
To whom the author doesn't recommend this book:
+ to people with enormous power,
+ to people who get things done by other,
+ to people who save time and money by inspiring others performance,
+ to people who are capable of creating growth, innovation, and profitability by convincing others to act.
I'm not one of those people so I have read the book. And you?
How to get people's attention? Three things to remember:
+ Stay in their moment.
+ Front-load: nail the big idea, chose their PMOC, defuse defensiveness.
+ Goldilocks candour: create a candid culture.
Triplet tactics is one the things that opened my eyes. It goes like this. Blah, Blah, Blah. Yada, Yada, Yada. Or structurally:
+ Key point 1 (and sub-points),
+ Key point 2 (and sub-points), and
+ Key point 3 (and sub-points).
This has helped me even with the web sites content structuring.
To me very important are the words, that the writer claims to be smart hedging words: + might, + may, + consider, + appears to, + could, + should, seems to. Very useful for my English correspondence. To be used in cases when you are not certain but would like to appear credible anyway. So, yes, I am going to consider using smart hedging words. :)
And I should stop tagging, a tag is a small edition at the end of the sentence. Only occasional tag decisively is to be used to win consensus and win agreement. And I sound decisive when I'm convinces myself.
That two above explained tactics (tagging and hedging) are all part of sounding decisive were I should be familiar with the three of them:
+ Stop tagging and Hedging.
+ Contribute to meetings.
+ Voice your opinion with sincerity.
Interesting to know for me was that to be credible and likeable at the same time is not possible. The best is to be right in between. We also all know that the unspoken rule is that receivers are beholden to repay the kindness. The same goes for me me if I would like to achieve something with other people. Thoughtful gestures will help, definitely.
And only some more details:
+ "Pre-Internet, company leaders rallied the troops through reports and annual speeches." of particular interest to me, since I run the interactive annual report design consultancy.
+ one Marco, was named to be: a deliberate perfectionist and an accidental rambler. What a title! :)
+ there are tips how to accept critic and how to critique.
+ "think of a day in your life when every single word, every single sentence, came out exactly as you intended". If you can't think of such a day, do not worry, you are only human. Read this book.
+ I have a dream from dr. Martin Luther King was planned spontaneity.
July 19, 2012
The premise of this book is to learn how to communicate effectively in a short attention span world. The three primary tools are to connect, convey, convince. I thought this would be helpful because I'm the type of detailed person with a long attention span. I add too many details for most people.
I listened to the audio book and was very disappointed in the delivery of the content. While the actual content is ok, Ms. Dieken is a professional communicator and talks like a TV reporter. I don't watch much television, so when I hear reporters - usually tune them out to listen to average people talk. You see, I like hearing the author's enthusiasm about their book in their own words and tone. You can hear it in their voice as they read their book. Ms. Dieken has had that edge "polished" out of her voice. Her voice is not bad, it just does not have the edge some of the other books have; dare I say, overproduced.
I listened to the audio book and was very disappointed in the delivery of the content. While the actual content is ok, Ms. Dieken is a professional communicator and talks like a TV reporter. I don't watch much television, so when I hear reporters - usually tune them out to listen to average people talk. You see, I like hearing the author's enthusiasm about their book in their own words and tone. You can hear it in their voice as they read their book. Ms. Dieken has had that edge "polished" out of her voice. Her voice is not bad, it just does not have the edge some of the other books have; dare I say, overproduced.
October 21, 2010
Very Profound. It's about how to speak and influence people to pay attention. In a way.... sad that we are all so bombarded with so much information in this tech age, that we don't have time for the "art of conversation." We must talk, text, email in short, to the point messages- Technology is wonderful yet sad when it comes to human realtionships!
August 13, 2013
This book has some good insights for communication within the corporate work field - a place where I no longer find myself. With that said, though it didn't much pertain to me anymore, it did have some good tips for me to use generally in all aspects of communication in my life. Easy fast read.
October 19, 2015
This concise book offers some easy ways to cut down on the fluff and get to the real content of what you're trying to say. Good for those of us that start talking and forget what we were actually talking about.
June 12, 2011
Not excited so far, but I just started it.
August 28, 2011
I found this book helpful. Recommended.
November 29, 2011
This book had some great tools, nothing groundbreaking, but very useful nonetheless.
May 22, 2012
To be read for our next Global Sales meeting...
May 22, 2012
Excellent book. Even powerful communicators will find it useful. Highly recommended to professionals at all levels, must-read for emerging leaders.
August 3, 2013
The basics in this book were good reminders as was the idea of talking in short sentences. Otherwise there was less here than I was hoping to learn.
Read
December 1, 2014Use for upcoming leaders in cormporate
September 2, 2016
Connect - Convey - Convince
3Cs to remember :'D
Minus point: advises and tips are too general (sometimes are just commonsense), failed to "convey" the ideas and "convince" readers how to act upon.
3Cs to remember :'D
Minus point: advises and tips are too general (sometimes are just commonsense), failed to "convey" the ideas and "convince" readers how to act upon.
February 5, 2016
Quick. Pithy. You need to read it slowly because she is very compact with her writing.
September 28, 2021
Could have been more specific and short. Few portions of the book felt unrealistic to practice.
July 23, 2021
My rating for the book is partially biased towards the first of 3 C's- Connect mentioned by author. While we might be knowing the things which work, explicitly reading them made sense to me. My expectation on last part I.e Convice strategies were a bit more. The steps mentioned were too generic and mainly focused on body language. Nevertheless a good short read which can act as a reminder to many known facts.
January 8, 2023
Strategies for improving communication and presence
Talk less, say more reads like it’s coming from an executive coach, as Connie is. She shares timeless tactics around communication and executive presence that can improve the ability of any leader to project confidence, communicate effectively, and to give interesting presentations. They will require a lot of practice, but they are effective when applied in the right situations.
Talk less, say more reads like it’s coming from an executive coach, as Connie is. She shares timeless tactics around communication and executive presence that can improve the ability of any leader to project confidence, communicate effectively, and to give interesting presentations. They will require a lot of practice, but they are effective when applied in the right situations.
January 10, 2022
Seemingly actionable.
The book is a pretty quick read but was exactly what I needed as the business I help run just acquired another company. Saying more and being effective is important to me and to get all 350 people aligned with our organization.
I look forward to stealing some of these ideas and seeing which ones will help.
The book is a pretty quick read but was exactly what I needed as the business I help run just acquired another company. Saying more and being effective is important to me and to get all 350 people aligned with our organization.
I look forward to stealing some of these ideas and seeing which ones will help.
June 6, 2021
A concise book with relevant communication concepts.
It's not shown as sticky as would imagine given the main goal of its contents.
However with a little analysis, very actionable and direct to achieve results.
It's not shown as sticky as would imagine given the main goal of its contents.
However with a little analysis, very actionable and direct to achieve results.
December 2, 2018
Great actionable options for becoming a great listener.
May 18, 2019
Don't waste your time. For a book titled "talk less, say more", she sure said alot of nothing.
January 27, 2019
This was an easy read. All of the points were very straightforward, and I didn't feel like the author dragged it out like many business books do. Definitely some clear takeaways.
January 21, 2020
Readers can not truly comprehend the reasons behind the habits, and there are too many rules that complicates conversations. Not worth reading time.
May 27, 2020
Simple, straight forward and informative book to develop leadership skills.
Reading this reminds me the quality we should have to be a team leader/player in any give organisation or groups.
Reading this reminds me the quality we should have to be a team leader/player in any give organisation or groups.
May 9, 2021
Fairly basic.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 39 reviews