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52 Things
52 Things Wives Need from Their Husbands: What Husbands Can Do to Build a Stronger Marriage
Many wives long to have their husbands choose them all over again. To be their knight in shining armor. Their leader. Their listener. Their lover. In 52 Things Wives Need from Their Husbands , Jay Payleitner, veteran radio producer and author of 52 Things Kids Need from a Dad, offers a bounty of welcome advice, such as A great gift or men's group resource, 52 Things Wives Need from Their Husbands provides a full year's worth of advice. And no chapter will make husbands feel guilty or criticize them for acting like men! For the husband who wants to live God's plan for his marriage, this book will put him on the right track.
176 pages, Paperback
First published December 15, 2011
43 people are currently reading
154 people want to read
About the author
Jay Payleitner
60 books32 followersJay Payleitner spent a decade in major market advertising. Learning how people think and doing some fun work. Including creating TV spots for Midway Airlines, Kroger, and Corona Beer. And heading up the creative team that named "SunChips."
But God called him into Christian media. And he became an almost-too-busy freelance producer. For more than a decade, Jay scripted and produced Josh McDowell Radio, Today's Father, Jesus Freaks Radio with TobyMac and Michael Tait, Project Angel Tree with Chuck Colson, and thousands of hours of radio that aired across the country and beyond.
Jay is a long-time affiliate with the National Center for Fathering and nationally-known motivational speaker for Iron Sharpens Iron, marriage conferences, men's retreats, women's events, writers' conferences, and weekend services.
Jay has sold more than half million books including the bestselling 52 Things Kids Need from a Dad and What If God Wrote Your Bucket List? His latest -- and perhaps most important release -- is The Jesus Dare.
This June, Waterbrook/Multnomah is releasing the surprising book, The Prayer of Agur.
Jay's books have been translated into French, German, Spanish, Italian, Afrikaans, Indonesian, Slovenian, Polish, and Russian.
He has been a guest multiple times on The Harvest Show, 100 Huntley Street, Moody Radio, Building Relationships with Gary Chapman, Cornerstone TV, and Focus on the Family.
Jay and his high school sweetheart, Rita, live in the Chicago area where they’ve raised five great kids, loved on ten foster babies, and are cherishing grandparenthood.
But God called him into Christian media. And he became an almost-too-busy freelance producer. For more than a decade, Jay scripted and produced Josh McDowell Radio, Today's Father, Jesus Freaks Radio with TobyMac and Michael Tait, Project Angel Tree with Chuck Colson, and thousands of hours of radio that aired across the country and beyond.
Jay is a long-time affiliate with the National Center for Fathering and nationally-known motivational speaker for Iron Sharpens Iron, marriage conferences, men's retreats, women's events, writers' conferences, and weekend services.
Jay has sold more than half million books including the bestselling 52 Things Kids Need from a Dad and What If God Wrote Your Bucket List? His latest -- and perhaps most important release -- is The Jesus Dare.
This June, Waterbrook/Multnomah is releasing the surprising book, The Prayer of Agur.
Jay's books have been translated into French, German, Spanish, Italian, Afrikaans, Indonesian, Slovenian, Polish, and Russian.
He has been a guest multiple times on The Harvest Show, 100 Huntley Street, Moody Radio, Building Relationships with Gary Chapman, Cornerstone TV, and Focus on the Family.
Jay and his high school sweetheart, Rita, live in the Chicago area where they’ve raised five great kids, loved on ten foster babies, and are cherishing grandparenthood.
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Displaying 1 - 27 of 27 reviews
May 22, 2017
This book is written in a conversational manner, almost like you're having coffee with a friend who's giving advice on marriage. Most readers will find some of the 52 things to be relevant, and many to be unimportant. (Do we really need a chapter's worth of advice on valentines gifts?) There are some genuinely good ideas here, but they are buried in a book with a very traditional and stereotypical view of men and women.
The author makes sweeping generalizations and assumptions about the audience (men don't know anything about fashion, gardening, cooking, or housework, women are experts in all of the above) that I found frustratingly old fashioned. It seems as if Payleitner's target audience is a cross between Homer Simpson and Tim Allen.
It's also unapologetically mired in modern American culture. He often quotes musicians, movie stars, comedians, and other celebrities. Frequent allusions to a suburban lifestyle and chasing the American dream firmly cement this book in modern, western society. This enculturation may not be a problem at all for some readers, although if you are looking for a book that addresses marriage purely from a biblical perspective and free of modern American influence, this isn't that book.
The author makes sweeping generalizations and assumptions about the audience (men don't know anything about fashion, gardening, cooking, or housework, women are experts in all of the above) that I found frustratingly old fashioned. It seems as if Payleitner's target audience is a cross between Homer Simpson and Tim Allen.
It's also unapologetically mired in modern American culture. He often quotes musicians, movie stars, comedians, and other celebrities. Frequent allusions to a suburban lifestyle and chasing the American dream firmly cement this book in modern, western society. This enculturation may not be a problem at all for some readers, although if you are looking for a book that addresses marriage purely from a biblical perspective and free of modern American influence, this isn't that book.
April 11, 2014
I wasn't as inspired as I was with the book about fathers and children. I can't come up with a specific reason or criticize anything about the author's technique. Like me, he likes meaningful quotes. He manages to hit on some critical principles without being heavy-handed, but I just wasn't as moved by this work.
June 4, 2022
Rated at 3.5 stars and rounded down to 3 due to reasons written below in this review, this is one of the most generalized marriage books I have ever read. Author Jay Payletiner even suggests that this book be put down, mid chapter, and asks his reader to find Chapman and start reading The 5 Love Languages. How this suggestion connects to a chapter that is solely on gifts, I am still not sure.
Other reviews have written that there are moments of wisdom in this book and this review echos a similar sentiment. I learned some new ideas that I will try to apply to my marriage life. Some of the chapters are interesting, such as falling out of love. Thus stated, this book is risky in a way, and also lacks a lot of substance overall.
Other chapters straddle a dangerous line on sexism, some readers may even see it as somewhat misogynistic, but I think that term is too strong of a word for this book. This review settles on the word sexist; the author frequently quips and argues that women are concerned about being the keeper of the house, such as cleaning the counters, and are worried about cooking etc, which reinforces stereotypes and domestication of women.
I also found the book's scripture references feeble and haphazardly applied at best. For example, the author frequently cites 1 Corinthians 13:4–8, (love is kind... etc) without considering Biblical context (why this verse was written and how it is not the best to define marriage). As a result, I started to question whether or not this book should be categorized as a Christian Audio, because although it did mention scripture and suggest tithing, I felt like the theological aspects of this book were somewhat questionable.
The paragraph above is why I am rounding this book down to 3 stars, even though I think it earns 3.5. It isn't a book that I would recommend overall to Christians.
Other reviews have written that there are moments of wisdom in this book and this review echos a similar sentiment. I learned some new ideas that I will try to apply to my marriage life. Some of the chapters are interesting, such as falling out of love. Thus stated, this book is risky in a way, and also lacks a lot of substance overall.
Other chapters straddle a dangerous line on sexism, some readers may even see it as somewhat misogynistic, but I think that term is too strong of a word for this book. This review settles on the word sexist; the author frequently quips and argues that women are concerned about being the keeper of the house, such as cleaning the counters, and are worried about cooking etc, which reinforces stereotypes and domestication of women.
I also found the book's scripture references feeble and haphazardly applied at best. For example, the author frequently cites 1 Corinthians 13:4–8, (love is kind... etc) without considering Biblical context (why this verse was written and how it is not the best to define marriage). As a result, I started to question whether or not this book should be categorized as a Christian Audio, because although it did mention scripture and suggest tithing, I felt like the theological aspects of this book were somewhat questionable.
The paragraph above is why I am rounding this book down to 3 stars, even though I think it earns 3.5. It isn't a book that I would recommend overall to Christians.
March 1, 2019
WHY I READ IT
I picked up this book at the Iron Sharpens Iron Conference last year to invest in my relationship with Emily.
WHAT I LEARNED
Some of the challenges weren't new ideas to me, but I found other helpful suggestions about cherishing Emily and supporting her more intentionally.
QUOTES THAT STAND OUT
"The great benefit of sharing and listening to each other's opinions on the small stuff is that you're well-rehearsed when it comes to the big stuff."
"Fast-forward through the memories of 20 events from your first meeting to your marriage proposal. Share the best of those memories with your bride. Over dinner. During a walk. Cuddling in bed. Or in a letter."
MY RECOMMENDATION
If you're a guy looking for some easy tips to be a better husband, pick up a copy, or borrow mine. Each chapter is only 2-3 pages.
I picked up this book at the Iron Sharpens Iron Conference last year to invest in my relationship with Emily.
WHAT I LEARNED
Some of the challenges weren't new ideas to me, but I found other helpful suggestions about cherishing Emily and supporting her more intentionally.
QUOTES THAT STAND OUT
"The great benefit of sharing and listening to each other's opinions on the small stuff is that you're well-rehearsed when it comes to the big stuff."
"Fast-forward through the memories of 20 events from your first meeting to your marriage proposal. Share the best of those memories with your bride. Over dinner. During a walk. Cuddling in bed. Or in a letter."
MY RECOMMENDATION
If you're a guy looking for some easy tips to be a better husband, pick up a copy, or borrow mine. Each chapter is only 2-3 pages.
May 18, 2024
বইয়ের নাম পড়ে হাসবেন না। বাঁচতে হলে জানতে হবে। বই না পড়লে এইসব ব্যপারে জানব কই থেকে?
বইয়ের বিষয়বস্তু কী তা বুঝতেই পারছেন। চাইলে এখানে ৫২ টা পয়েন্টের কথাই বলা যায়, কিন্তু সেগুলো না বলে বইতে পাওয়া এক ভদ্রমহিলার কথাটাই বলিঃ
"Although at the earlier stages of life, my expectations were huge, but after several marriage and heartbreak, i now DON'T want very much from my husband. My list is pretty short these days:
- Obey God
- Live gratefully
- Be nice to me"
সেটাই। মানুষের কাছ থেকে পারফেক্টনেস চাওয়াটা নিরর্থক। ভালো-মন্দ সবাই নিজের নিজের মতো। তবে, উন্নতির জায়গা খুঁজে পেতে এ ধরণের বই পড়া যায়। অনেক মানুষের কাছ থেকে তথ্য সংগ্রহ করে লেখা এই বই থেকে কিছু না কিছু নিশ্চিতভাবেই শিখতে পারবেন।
বইয়ের বিষয়বস্তু কী তা বুঝতেই পারছেন। চাইলে এখানে ৫২ টা পয়েন্টের কথাই বলা যায়, কিন্তু সেগুলো না বলে বইতে পাওয়া এক ভদ্রমহিলার কথাটাই বলিঃ
"Although at the earlier stages of life, my expectations were huge, but after several marriage and heartbreak, i now DON'T want very much from my husband. My list is pretty short these days:
- Obey God
- Live gratefully
- Be nice to me"
সেটাই। মানুষের কাছ থেকে পারফেক্টনেস চাওয়াটা নিরর্থক। ভালো-মন্দ সবাই নিজের নিজের মতো। তবে, উন্নতির জায়গা খুঁজে পেতে এ ধরণের বই পড়া যায়। অনেক মানুষের কাছ থেকে তথ্য সংগ্রহ করে লেখা এই বই থেকে কিছু না কিছু নিশ্চিতভাবেই শিখতে পারবেন।
March 28, 2019
It's a good book with good advice. I don't know the age of the author, but reading this book made it seem like he and his wife have been married for many years. That's great for them and for the readers of this book. It reads like listening to the advice of your uncle, which was good. The book for most part was a little too "cute" for my tastes--especially because it was a book written by a man for men. While I don't think this is mandatory for all married men, I do think this is a great starting point for men who know absolutely nothing about marriage.
June 7, 2017
It was an okay book. I like how he challenged men to be men and reject passivity and lead well. But, while there were a few really helpful chapters, most were not really that helpful. They were not bad, just not really great either. Also, he seemed pretty patronizing to wives a lot, painting them as superficial or weak. It may have been his sarcasm, which was all over the place, but it rubbed me the wrong way.
August 4, 2021
Their are a couple good tips here and there. Overall the book lacks a solid foundation for why you should want a “strong marriage.” The writer comes across as a bit full of himself, false humility and makes quips about generalities about men and woman that are cultural so reflect the age of the book.
If you read a lot of this stuff then go for it but if you’re looking for a top ten books on marriage skip it.
If you read a lot of this stuff then go for it but if you’re looking for a top ten books on marriage skip it.
July 11, 2023
This book has some good content. Insightful and meaningful at times. At other times, it comes across as unserious and too generalized to bear any particular significance. I’m not willing to call the content misogynistic. I will say that a portion of the authors comments can reasonably be characterized as old fashioned. Overall, you’ll find very basic but dependable suggestions for maintaining the health of a marriage.
February 22, 2024
The author lays out 52 items he feels are relevant to create marital joy. While none are bad they just seam more appropriate to a traditional gender role couple of the 1980’s or 1990’s. There are a lot of assumptions regarding what wives want from their husbands that can usually be surmised from watching a 1950’s episode of Leave it to Beaver. Again it’s not bad advice just not timely or really surprising given the author’s age.
July 19, 2023
This was a really sweet read! I enjoyed all the little tips that the author gave for a happy marriage. It was a gift from my future brother in law. I think a lot of the tips felt obvious, but perhaps not for a lot of men who don't cook for their wives. Other than that, I enjoyed reading it.
May 31, 2017
Light-hearted, fun, but not very deep. The author is a professional writer, who shares ideas on how to care for your wife's needs.
June 3, 2019
A humorous look at marriage at various life stages. This will be a wedding gift for new couples.
January 9, 2020
Anecdotal. Cringy. Reads like book compiled from a tumblr blog written by a high school girl who has watched too many romantic comedies.
March 31, 2020
Read it to see if it would be beneficial for my husband to read. Thought it was well done, and written in a perfect voice for men to be receptive to it. Would recommend.
July 24, 2020
Great book for men to read to make them better husbands.
October 22, 2021
A very practical guide to the fundamental ways in which godly men can best serve their wives.
November 7, 2022
I'd recommend this to any husband!
December 31, 2024
Helpful things for husbands to consider.
November 4, 2025
Excellent marriage book!
February 24, 2012
Title: 52 THINGS WIVES NEED FROM THEIR HUSBANDS
Author: Jay Payleitner
Publisher: Harvest House Publishers
February 2012
ISBN: 978-0-7369-4471-7
Genre: Inspirational/marriage
Nobody knows your wife like you do. You’re the guy who can make her day or break her heart. The choice is yours.
If your husband technique needs a refresher course, then pick up 52 THINGS WIVES NEED FROM THEIR HUSBANDS. Mr. Payleitner offers 52 wonderful pieces of advice that men need to know, such as:
To be sane on Valentine’s day
To warehouse memories together
To buy two jars of peanut butter
To be the pastor of your home
To only have eyes for her
To trade the mustang for a minivan
To do more than nod and smile
And much more…
There is a takeaway included after each short chapter that gives a simple, easy assignment or piece of advice.
Okay, I admit it. I’m a woman. Married twenty-five years to my husband. Most of this stuff we learned by trial and error. Some, we’re still learning. In one section it’s entitled “to try this experiment” my husband could learn not to say “my mom did it this way.” Almost nothing upsets me faster.
This is a book that all married men, soon to be married men, and hope to eventually get married men could stand to read. Face it, no one is perfect. Do you still wait until the last minute to buy her flowers for Valentine’s day? Do you do sweet little things for your wife to “get her in the mood”? Are you willing to give things up for her comfort?
My nineteen year old son, who falls in the “hope to eventually get married” category, asked if he could read this book when I finish. I think when he finishes; it’ll go into the family library. This is an invaluable resource for men everywhere, from nineteen to ninety. Buy it. Seriously. $12.99. 170 pages.
Author: Jay Payleitner
Publisher: Harvest House Publishers
February 2012
ISBN: 978-0-7369-4471-7
Genre: Inspirational/marriage
Nobody knows your wife like you do. You’re the guy who can make her day or break her heart. The choice is yours.
If your husband technique needs a refresher course, then pick up 52 THINGS WIVES NEED FROM THEIR HUSBANDS. Mr. Payleitner offers 52 wonderful pieces of advice that men need to know, such as:
To be sane on Valentine’s day
To warehouse memories together
To buy two jars of peanut butter
To be the pastor of your home
To only have eyes for her
To trade the mustang for a minivan
To do more than nod and smile
And much more…
There is a takeaway included after each short chapter that gives a simple, easy assignment or piece of advice.
Okay, I admit it. I’m a woman. Married twenty-five years to my husband. Most of this stuff we learned by trial and error. Some, we’re still learning. In one section it’s entitled “to try this experiment” my husband could learn not to say “my mom did it this way.” Almost nothing upsets me faster.
This is a book that all married men, soon to be married men, and hope to eventually get married men could stand to read. Face it, no one is perfect. Do you still wait until the last minute to buy her flowers for Valentine’s day? Do you do sweet little things for your wife to “get her in the mood”? Are you willing to give things up for her comfort?
My nineteen year old son, who falls in the “hope to eventually get married” category, asked if he could read this book when I finish. I think when he finishes; it’ll go into the family library. This is an invaluable resource for men everywhere, from nineteen to ninety. Buy it. Seriously. $12.99. 170 pages.
March 1, 2012
You are probably wondering why did I read this book, since I'm clearly not a husband, but a wife. But I was curious to see what points Jay Payleitner actually makes to husbands in his book, "52 Things Wives Need From Their Husbands".
I found that Jay Payleitner offers sound advice for husbands in a very easy, practical and straightforward way. Here are some of my personal favorites from the book:
Need #3 ~ To Leave So You Can Cleave
Need #10 ~ To Try This Experiment
Need #11 ~ To Read the Verses that Com Before and After Ephesians 5:22
Need #12 ~ To Say "I'm Really Sorry" Like You Really Mean It
Need #15 ~ To Be the Pastor of Your Home
Need #22 ~ To Rebuild Love
Need #38 ~ To Never Repudiate the "Nose-Scrunch Rule"
Need #43 ~ To Put Her Second
In Need #11, the following stood out for me in particular, "He sacrifices. She submits. Both are looking for the best in each other and looking out for each other."
After being married for over 8 years now, I can truly say that the above statement is true. This is what a true Christian marriage should exemplify. Each spouse should be willing to look for the best in each other and look out for each other. Jay Payleitner does a good job in giving pointers on "how to" realistically achieve that in any marriage.
I really enjoyed reading this book. Especially Jay Payleitner's perspective on what a godly and healthy marriage should look like. I truly valued his reverence to the Lord and how much he cherishes his wife Rita.
I highly recommend this book to married and single men alike. This book conveys a refreshing outlook on marriage as well as it challenges mainstream thinking and worldly perspectives on marriage today.
I want to personally thank Aaron Dillon of Harvest House Publishers for sending me this book for free to review.
I found that Jay Payleitner offers sound advice for husbands in a very easy, practical and straightforward way. Here are some of my personal favorites from the book:
Need #3 ~ To Leave So You Can Cleave
Need #10 ~ To Try This Experiment
Need #11 ~ To Read the Verses that Com Before and After Ephesians 5:22
Need #12 ~ To Say "I'm Really Sorry" Like You Really Mean It
Need #15 ~ To Be the Pastor of Your Home
Need #22 ~ To Rebuild Love
Need #38 ~ To Never Repudiate the "Nose-Scrunch Rule"
Need #43 ~ To Put Her Second
In Need #11, the following stood out for me in particular, "He sacrifices. She submits. Both are looking for the best in each other and looking out for each other."
After being married for over 8 years now, I can truly say that the above statement is true. This is what a true Christian marriage should exemplify. Each spouse should be willing to look for the best in each other and look out for each other. Jay Payleitner does a good job in giving pointers on "how to" realistically achieve that in any marriage.
I really enjoyed reading this book. Especially Jay Payleitner's perspective on what a godly and healthy marriage should look like. I truly valued his reverence to the Lord and how much he cherishes his wife Rita.
I highly recommend this book to married and single men alike. This book conveys a refreshing outlook on marriage as well as it challenges mainstream thinking and worldly perspectives on marriage today.
I want to personally thank Aaron Dillon of Harvest House Publishers for sending me this book for free to review.
December 10, 2013
Interesting read in that it was written for men about women, and as a woman, I was curious about how these books read and what this author thought might be needed by a woman in a relationship. The book reads fairly stereotyped as women being 'scatterbrained, less intelligent, more likely to shop and spend money', etc. Those thoughts rubbed against me as being far to simplistic and allowing the male stance of 'rescuer' and other titles of hero to be at work. While it drew from scripture and tried to provide a roadmap for relationships, I feel this falls very short of the mark.
July 14, 2015
There are better books on the subject in my opinion than this one. I thought some of the advice was good and some of the advice was weird/destructive. His chapter on the mission trip with the other woman seemed dangerous at best. I thought the book played to male/female stereotypes a little too much for my liking.
February 15, 2012
Full review posted here:
http://redlilycafe.blogspot.com/2012/...
April 4, 2014
While there were good ideas here there were too many times I had trouble taking it seriously or the advice was simply bad.
February 18, 2015
Decent book with some insight and humor, but not one I would put on a "must read" list.
Displaying 1 - 27 of 27 reviews