By Darrin Patrick The Dude's Guide to Manhood: Finding True Manliness in a World of Counterfeits [Paperback]

by Darrin Patrick

Discover the path to true masculinity--to an adventurous life of strength, purpose, and clarity.Didn't we used to understand manhood? Wasn't there a time once when it was clear and straightforward? Are we lost?Dudes, look around The trail we once traveled from boyhood to maturity is now so overgrown, it's almost impossible to trace. Our vision is blurred, rendering the map that previous generations followed unreadable. Our compass needles are spinning in circles, making navigation impossible. We are stuck in dense, dangerous woods, and our communities--the wives, children, friends, and colleagues we could be influencing--are suffering as a result.It can be tempting to give up and, like so many men today, simply exist, but take Now is "not" the time for men to abandon our quest. We can discover the path to true masculinity--to an adventurous life of strength, purpose, and clarity.In "The Dude's Guide to Manhood," pastor, author and dude Darrin Patrick charts a course back toward real manliness, mapping out a vision to help men find significance and influence in today's broken, mixed-message culture. Revealing his own frailties and missteps, Patrick doesn't preach "at" you but walks "with "you on a journey toward healing and wholeness.Filled with timeless wisdom, accessible insights and practical guidance, "The Dude's Guide to Manhood" issues an encouraging and doable call to all men, whatever your age or stage. We need not settle for wandering aimlessly through our days, wounded, weak, and passive. Instead, we can get back on the trail, embrace our gifts while facing our imperfections, and trust the God of new beginnings to lead us into all that we are destined to forgiven, connected, determined, teachable, content, heroic, and so much more.

Genres: Christian, Christian Living, Christianity, Nonfiction, Discipleship, Theology, Social Issues

Unknown Binding

First published January 7, 2014

About the author

Darrin Patrick worked as a pastor and chaplain. He died by suicide in 2020.

Reviews

[Tim Woody · Rating 2 out of 5]

“The Dude’s Guide to Manhood” was front page on the Monergism Books site when I first saw it. Displayed was a mustard yellow book cover with a silhouetted beard which reminded my three year old daughter of “Rachel’s dad” from church. How could I not go for it? It was even recommended by John Piper. So I read it, and thought I would give this book review a bit more space than I have given to some other books I have read recently.

So I’ll go ahead and get started with the good stuff. You will find this book really easy to read. Darrin Patrick has a way with words that will leave you reading twenty pages and not even knowing it. He also writes really practically and leaves you with intermittent “challenge” blurbs that I found myself wanting to implement to impact my life in a positive way. His section on “Friendship” left me with a lot to consider; primarily, that I need to be going deeper in my relationships with other guys.

His next to last chapter, chapter ten, lists four motivations that guys find themselves having (although I would add that there is nothing isolated to being male in these motivations). I found this part really interesting and it left me reflecting on the motivations behind my behavior. He also did a good job in the last chapter of showing how all of this connects with Christ and our need for Him in our quest to be men.

Now for the cons, which will exceed the pros. First, this was a book purporting to teach men to be godly leaders, husbands, fathers, and friends. If this was the goal then why did I find myself counting the number of biblical references on my hands? Not only that, but the verses were mostly relegated to the last two chapters and the longest reference was the Lord’s Prayer. On top of this was the fact that biblical allusions of any kind were also rare, whereas references to pop culture and cultural icons could be found in almost every paragraph.

It gets really confusing when I am supposed to be looking to Christ to figure out what kind of man I am supposed to be and the author keeps flooding me with references to mere men. This isn’t necessarily wrong, but he at least ought to have talked about how these men are only to be admired inasmuch as they emulate biblical principles. But again, biblical principles were lacking in definition in “The Dude’s Guide to Manhood.”

There were two specific things that I wanted to critique as well. First, in chapter six, Dr. Patrick starts discussing what it means to be a devoted man. This chapter was really good and encouraging as a whole but in one section he makes a really bad statement. On page 76 he mentions the “50 Shades of Grey” phenomenon and states that “Mommy porn (referencing “50 Shades of Grey”) is popular because men are not. The demand for such stories suggests that when it comes down to it, women are dissatisfied with their marriages and their men. They’re not getting the sort of spark they once had.”

Ok, maybe, just maybe, I could get on board with this statement if the kind of sexual satisfaction women were seeking in this type of literary porn was just typical sex. We all know that the “romance novel” genre has always been popular. But the “spark” that can go missing in marriage does not dance to the tune of the hardcore BDSM found in “50 Shades of Grey”. There is something far more depraved going on there. This would be similar to me saying that men are being driven to watch sadomasochistic porn videos because their wives don’t want to put effort into having sex. No level of sexual dissatisfaction in a normal marriage naturally leads to destructive and twisted sexual cravings. Not only does the statement not work on that level, but it also seems to imply that men’s behavior in sex is driving women to sin. Even if this were demonstrated to be true, this in no way absolves women’s responsibility and it’s just a very weak argument all around.
The second particular criticism I have is found in chapter ten. It’s here in these pages that I find a statement that pops up pretty frequently among complementarian writers. It’s an ontological statement, or a statement that describes the nature of a thing; in this case something essential and natural to being a “man”. Dr. Patrick claims that “Men are made to compete, made to battle, wired to fight.” This might be observable in culture or in literature, even descriptively in the Bible itself. But the statement and ultimately the conclusion is derived by mere inference. It means that if this is what man is at his core, in his intended design, than any man who is not this way, is by extension not being “male”. I do not see this definition warranted by Scripture.

Now you might argue that man was designed to take dominion and therefore made to fight but that seems quite an inadequate interpretation of “taking dominion”, especially since the command to take dominion was given to “man” meaning male and female together. This particularly bothers me because in the name of being “manly” I have seen many Reformed guys think that what that means is that they need to be gruff and physical. But being aggressive and combative is not inherently virtuous. Biblically speaking, being a man means taking responsibility for those under your authority, providing for your family, serving, taking dominion, and glorifying God and that can look a hundred different ways.

Overall, I would still recommend this book but with the disclaimer that what it really is is just a basic list of practical ways to live out generic biblical principles for being a Christian, with a few specific emphases on men. There are other authors who have done a better job of defining biblical manhood.

[Big Mike Lewis · Rating 4 out of 5]

I love the amount of books that are being released geared toward men and biblical manhood. It's refreshing and it makes me feel like the publishing industry is finally giving us some attention. Men have had to struggle in their faith as the church has become more and more feminized with "Jesus is my girlfriend" songs and women becoming ministers, preachers, and elders and taking the leadership role away from their men. It is a subject I take seriously so I was excited to read The Dude's Guide to Manhood by Darrin Patrick.

In Dude's Guide, Mister Patrick takes us to several subjects we dudes tend to need advice and help with. He gives practical advice about how to treat our relationships, coping with sin, and how to grow more healthy in our daily walk in life, in work, and in being content. Patrick teaches us how it is important for us to be successful in these areas in order to lead our families and our churches to their best.

Patrick's book takes a very easy approach in writing style. It was very readable. Darrin Patrick is the chaplain for the St. Louis Cardinals and also a minister in the same city. So, he uses a lot of sports references for the dudes that like that style. I think The Dude's Guide to Manhood is a great addition to my Man Library. I give it 4 out of 5 stars.

*****
I received this book free from the Thomas Nelson Publisher's Booksneeze review program. I was not required to write a favorable review. I was only asked to be honest. The words are my own.

[Brian Metz · Rating 5 out of 5]

Darrin Patrick is a solid gospel man. He knows men and more importantly he knows who can rescue and change men: the God-Man Jesus Christ. Throughout this book DP does an excellent job presenting the problems dudes face. He does an even better job mining out the source of our problems: sin. He doesn't flinch in calling men to rise up off the couch and be men who sacrifice and are responsible in light of the grace of God.

Darrin references stories that will resonate with guys. Wherever you are on your journey in seeking true manliness, you need to read this book. He does a great job giving men hope and a swift kick in the pants without being all mushy and psychoanalyst about it. There is feeling here without it being about feelings. There is heart here without it being mushy.

If you are a man, read this book. If you love a man and want to understand him better read this book. And then apply the book, share the book and walk in the love of Jesus.

[Danny Bennett · Rating 4 out of 5]

I went into the book thinking that it would be more theory and philosophically focused. However, I had to adjust my expectations when I discovered the book is highly focused on the practical elements of manhood. One review I read on goodreads criticized Darrin for not useing a lot of bible passages until the last two chapters. As someone who attended Darrin's church when I lived in St. Louis, I know I have a bias in favor of him, but I think if you know Darrin's heart for contextualization which includes the idea that you can convey biblical concepts and ideas without quoting chapter and verse, you will appreciate the practical nature of the majority of the book. I don't know Darrin personally, but I know the heart of the Journey and it is highly focused on Jesus. So if the first few chapters throw you as being to practical and not enough Jesus, keep reading. I was going to give three stars until I read the last two chapters and bumped it up to four.

[John · Rating 2 out of 5]

Some valid reminders and pointers.

However, I encourage interested readers to consider whether we should seek fatherhood advice from a man who not only fell into disgrace in life due to “problems in his community,” but who subsequently tried to resolve his earthly problems by abandoning his family and shooting himself in the head (seeking death by suicide).

While that act may not invalidate previous good deeds he may have committed, I’ve felt haunted by the circumstances of the author’s life and choices, the impact that must have made on his family, and how to therefore weigh the authority or veracity of the author.

Men are, in some definitions, undergoing dramatic shifts and evolution as a group right now, as is society. Men are seeking answers and advice in huge numbers.

I think more than ever, we have to be careful where and how we seek that advice, and from who.

[Aaron Downs · Rating 4 out of 5]

Darrin Patrick’s The Dudes Guide to Manhood highlights long forgotten essential wisdom that boys need to know on their paths to become men. Patrick lays out essential characteristics of manhood from a biblical worldview.

This book inspired me to pursue biblical manhood by learning from other men, loving my friends and family members, and most of all, loving Jesus Christ. Whether you come from a Christian background or not, whether you are single or married, I know that The Dudes Guide to Manhood will prove beneficial in your personal development.

*Note: This book was received compliments of BookLook Bloggers. Full review at booklookbloggers.com or www.christliteratureculture.wordpress...

[Kevin Kamm · Rating 4 out of 5]

Reread this book from 2016. I really respect Patrick, and have been contemplating some of his life.
Again, now that I have a kid I am rethinking how I want to demonstrate masculinity to him, and mourning the loss of my own biological father while rejoicing in my many spiritual fathers and brothers.

It's worth reading. I'll reread Mason's "Manhood: Restored" at some point this year just for comparison.

[Daniel Curry · Rating 4 out of 5]

Any book that sports a moustache, a pair of hipster spectacles and a `gospel beard' on the front cover deserves my attention right from the off. And rightly so. While character shows the world how much of a real man a bloke is, it is often said that his beard is the exclamation point. And while that saying only plays the role of an entertaining, anecdotal truth, the cover itself sets the book up perfectly in what to expect.

But the content of Darrin Patrick's new book is anything other than a mere exclamation point. It is in fact a resource by which all men, everywhere, are given opportunity after opportunity to read, relate, reflect and respond in a way which mirrors the obvious, yet often unseen - or more accurately, purposely ignored - level of masculinity portrayed by the Lord Jesus Christ.

It's worth noting that the book kicks off well before Patrick even starts writing. Rick Warren, who is amongst a host of well-known, respectable names who write their praise-centred comments for the book, simply states: `Men need help." How true is that of men today? In a world where the idea of true masculinity is distorted. In a world where `man up' is the only response from many to those who show any emotion or vulnerability. In a world where children are more likely to go to bed with a television in their bedroom than a father in their house. Whether it's the drunken, immature, `you only live once' depiction of single men in the `Hangover' trilogy, the comedic but completely clueless representation of the father figure manifest in character such as Homer Simpson, or the `sexually-charged teenage boy' culture seen in Greg Mattola's film `Superbad', men are at the forefront of a depressing picture painted by today's media; a picture which sequentially influences and directly reflects the ethos surrounding masculinity in real life today.

And this is the basis for the book being written. Patrick's words are built on the foundations of, quote, "Finding true manliness in a world of counterfeits". The reason Patrick opens with the need to find true masculinity in a world full of counterfeits is because we're looking at, and to, the wrong men. The men we see most today are those aforementioned, and these men are celebrated; more than that, they're idolised. For a lot of people, and especially the young and/or easily-influenced, these are `real men'.

So who is Patrick's `men of all men, masculine of all masculine' poster boy? Who's on the front cover of the magazine? Who's real in a world full of fakes? None other than Jesus Christ. And to a lot of people, `lowly' Jesus of Nazareth - Nazareth, remember, being the place used as the tail end of a witty put-down from Nathanael early on in John's gospel - might seem like a strange choice, seeing as though Jesus is often seen as a `meek and mild' character, which in today's culture equates to neediness, weakness and the like. So if that's the perception that many people have of Jesus, what `real' man would then in turn look to Jesus as their role model for masculinity? Who wants their hero to be weak? Who wants their idol to be pitiful? Who wants their exemplar to be scrawny and frail, someone who could never face up to the trials, difficulties and dangers of real life?

The answer is: nobody. And thankfully the Jesus who people see as petty, trivial and insignificant isn't the Jesus that is taught in the Bible, and isn't the Jesus that Patrick specifically portrays here as our masculine superior. And while Patrick doesn't explicitly mention Jesus in each individual paragraph, he doesn't have to because the advice given throughout the entire book is saturated in true, gospel-centred, masculine Christlikeness.

And what I like most about Patrick's book, alongside the great insight and teaching, is his real-world illustrations and applications. There'd be nothing worse than a book on tackling counterfeits filled with counterfeit stories. Oftentimes he will relate back to a time in his past, a friend he knows, or even himself. These stories and friendships show a real life level of intimacy and vulnerability of which we can all relate to. Couple that with the numerous `do-this-now' drills sporadically placed throughout each chapter in little grey boxes, and we have ourselves a practical, handy book which if read by the masses with exceptional humility, would make changing the hearts of the masses a real possibility.

Finally, I believe the intentions of the book can be summed up in this paragraph:
"Toughness and tenderness aren't opposites. They belong together in a man. True manhood takes both the strength to stand up against injustice and the softness to hold our children when they're scared. True manhood requires cultivating the passionate courage to protect those who are endangered and the sensitivity to allow our wives to pour out all their deepest yearnings to us. We need men who have both the tenderness to cry with those who are suffering and the toughness to tell those who are doing wrong to stop."

I would advise all men (and women too) to pick up this book and give it a read. It is a well written piece of literature, packed with many truths. And if you have a habit of listening to preachers like Driscoll, Chandler, Lecrae, etc. you'll see that a lot of the material in this book isn't exactly new. You might know a lot of it already. But don't let that put you off. The old saying goes, "If it's true, it isn't new. And if it's new, it isn't true." But what we do have here, however, is a man with a heart of teaching men the gospel truths of true masculinity, knowing full well that real Christian teaching has never changed. The only thing that has changed is the messenger. So let's praise God for this messenger, and the way he goes about addressing this much-needed message. Men: step up.

[Harley 50cal · Rating 2 out of 5]

I think this book was good. It offered helpful tips and hard truths about what it is to be a man. It talked about uncomfortable sins most men face and what to do about it. The biggest issue I have is in a biblical manhood book it should reference scripture. I think you can count on one hand the amount of times scripture was referenced so for that I had to rate it quite low. It was lacking in scripture but provided principles that are biblical they just didn’t reference where they were getting the principals.

[Lawson Hembree · Rating 4 out of 5]

What does it mean to be a man?

While this question could be answered with a simple biological definition, manhood is much more complex than one’s anatomy. True manhood expresses itself in the character, actions, and pursuits of a man.

However, our culture has a shortage of true men. So how did we get to this point?

In the introduction to his book The Dude’s Guide to Manhood: Finding True Manliness in a World of Counterfeits, Darrin Patrick says the problem is that “many men are simply unprepared to face the journey of manhood, in part because they have never been prepared in the first place.” Somewhere along the way, our culture misplaced the road map to manhood. Of course, many factors have contributed to this drift: the rise in divorces and single-parent homes, the removal of traditional rites of passage, and the attempt to remove traditional gender distinctives, just to name a few.

This lack of preparation for men has led to a culture filled with males stuck in a prolonged boyhood and adolescence: avoiding responsibility, lacking passion, and letting life pass them by as they escape in their careers, video games, sports, and/or porn. Or as Patrick puts it, ”Many of us [men] avoid real life and escape into a psuedoreality that is more comfortable and less taxing than our own lives.”

To address this problem, Darrin has thoughtfully outlined what true manliness looks like in The Dude’s Guide to Manhood. Usually you shouldn’t judge a book by it’s cover, but when the cover looks like this one, you know it’s going to be a winner! Darrin Patrick does a great job of discarding many of the stereotypes that other books on manhood cling to (outdoors, power tools, sports, etc) and defines what it means to be a man based on eleven character traits: determined, coachable, disciplined, working, content, devoted, family-focused, connected, emotional, fighting, and heroic. He goes on to practically flesh out what each trait looks like when it’s lived out for both single and married men.

Throughout the pages of his book, Darrin Patrick is very open about his own story and path to manhood. He encourages men to not give up in pursuing a fulfilling and adventurous vision for masculinity, even when the deck is stacked against them. In fact at the beginning of the final chapter, Patrick says, “If you try to do everything this book suggests, you’re going to get frustrated and tired….Change is hard….We return again and again to what seems familiar to us because it’s known and comfortable, even if it’s destructive.”

In order to escape this destructive cycle and redeem our manhood, their is only one solution: repenting of our sin and trusting in Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior. He is the only one who can guide us into true manhood. ”True manhood doesn’t mean being perfect ourselves; it means trusting Christ’s perfection for us. True manhood doesn’t mean getting everything right; it means having the courage to say when we get things wrong and the confidence that comes from receiving our acceptance from God in Christ.” Being a real man isn’t easy, but it’s worth it.

The Dude’s Guide to Manhood is a much-needed book in the quest to reclaim biblical manhood. It not only challenges men to be real men, but does so in an encouraging, fatherly way. If you are a man or know a man, pick up this book and give it a read (if you’re a father, get this and go through it with your son). I will definitely be drawing on this book this semester as I lead the College and Career Ministry at Harvard Avenue Baptist through a study of biblical manhood and womanhood. Once you read this book, I’d suggest checking out Recovering Biblical Manhood and Womanhood, edited by John Piper and Wayne Grudem, and/or Foundations for Biblical Manhood and Womanhood, edited by Wayne Grudem, for more on the topic of true manhood.

Full review: Lawson's Blog

[Tyler Velin · Rating 3 out of 5]

Patrick was very intentional with how he wrote this book. You can see that even from the endorsements on the back of the book: there is very little mention of "God," "Church," or "Jesus." With that said the majority of Patrick's book is void of this language as well. The first ten chapters of "The Dude's Guide" dives into systematically thought out topics which are essential to manhood. Patrick shows the dangers of over emphasizing or under emphasizing each of the attributes, but warns men from living below their "masculine privilege."

There is very minimal, if any, reference of the gospel in these 10 chapters. Given what I have heard about the book, it is because Patrick is writing this book to un-churched and un-engaged men. These first chapters are to engage the man at a moral level, and proposes challenges which can be burdensome and overwhelming. But that's the point. Starting in chapter 11, and climaxing in chapter 12 Patrick shows that while all of these traits are important, they can only be done from a posture of repentance, and acceptance of Christ. He then walks through the previous chapters in light of what Christ changes (law/gospel change).

Patrick actually presents a really solid and balanced view of masculinity, but I wrestled with the delivery. I know Patrick treasures the gospel deeply (I have been a fan of him for a while), so I can say that it was not that he "lost" the gospel through most of the book, it wasn't an afterthought. It was part of his plan to poke and men, and then club them with the late breaking curve ball.

Unfortunately I think that the book matured too late. I read it with the intention of using it on a men's retreat with young college guys, but have chosen to go a different route. This book is a great tool for evangelism, in that it is a great entry point into Christian dialogue, but there are better gospel heavy resources for working with men who already have a framework for gospel language.

What the book does well: Engages men who are unaware of the gospel, and introduces them to a gospel centered language and thought process.

What the book does poorly: Push men who are already aware of the gospel. It's not that these men don't need to know about these virtues, it's that the virtues can be better tied to a gospel indicative for more transformative results.

[Jimmy · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you ask anyone today what manhood is, you will get a wide variety of answers. Hollywood paints a vast landscape. On one hand, you have the wuss, the mama’s boy, the passive nerd who is the target of bullies and jocks and anyone that might feel the least bit intimidated by their knowledge. On the other hand, you have the Expendables, Rocky, James Bond, the Avengers, Batman. Tough guys who will do whatever it takes to get the job done. If there is a crisis situation, these guys will come in, guns blazing, taking out as many bad guys as possible until the crisis is averted. Is there a middle ground. Is it possible that a man can be both tough and tender? Enter: The Dude’s Guide To Manhood. In Dude’s Guide, Darrin Patrick wants to point men to Jesus as the ultimate example of what a man is to be like. It is time to put aside excuses. Your past does not define you. Jesus does. You can be a godly, gospel centered man. You can be the husband and daddy that God has called you to be. You no longer have to be a slave to porn. You can love your wife and kids the way that Jesus has called you to because you are increasingly becoming obedient to what Jesus has called you to. Men have to take responsibility for their actions, own up to their mistakes, learn when to fight for something they believe in, learn to be strong and not foolish, wise and not stupid. A Christian man is a forgiven man. A forgiven man lives his life in light of the death and resurrection of Jesus. A forgiven man understands that confession and repentance is necessary. A forgiven man knows his identity as a man is found in Jesus. This book is a wonderful tool to get men back on track to becoming the man that God wants them to be. This book helps define manliness from a biblical perspective not a worldly one. There is one condition. The reader has to be coachable. If you are already stubborn and pig-headed and act like you don’t need advice or help, then you will not read this book. You do not have it all together. To think so is foolish. You will always be learning, you will always be changing, you will always be in a constant state of progressing in sanctification. You will constantly be conforming to the image of Jesus. Dude’s Guide is a manual to help walk you through this journey of becoming the gospel-centered man that hates what Jesus hates and loves what Jesus loves. Beards are optional.

[Josh Simons · Rating 4 out of 5]

When I first saw this book, I rolled my eyes and thought, "Just what we need, ANOTHER book on manhood, and this is the hipster version." I judged this book by its cover, for sure. What led me to give it a closer look was John Piper's strong accolades for the table of contents in themselves. I had to investigate that, and they were intriguing. So, having completed the book, Darrin Patrick doesn't hammer on guys for 175 pages for not being man enough. What he does is much more like a calm mentor and talks about being contented, focused, being connected (not in your network, but being "there" in our relationships - not checked out), loving your work, loving your family, satisfaction, finding determination, being coachable, and forgiveness. It's very much like the author is sitting on the front steps with you, watching cars go by, and giving you his experience of life to learn from. Really, this turned out to be a great book. It's practically empowering without ever being condemning, and I can easily recommend it to every guy I know!

[Robby · Rating 4 out of 5]

I thoroughly enjoyed this book for a few reasons…

1) The book was approachable for any and all guys. This would be a great book to read on manhood with non-believers, young Christians, older men, or even my young son when he gets old enough. I loved the accessibility of everything.

2) This book is immensely practical. Each chapter gave an action step as well as personal stories to connect with the reader. I appreciated how each chapter had a clear goal and action step.

3) It was not over the top on the Christian side of things. This book is packed with theological truth, but Darrin writes it in such a way that it wouldn't run someone off. I loved that as someone who wants to read this with a few of my unbelieving friends.

Only feedback is maybe a little more about how the Gospel allows you to embrace all of these different traits. Darrin shares that we will fail and must embrace Christ, but I would have enjoyed a little more focus on things being practical. A good read!

[Alexander · Rating 2 out of 5]

"The Dude's Guide to Manhood" was not exactly what I expected it to be. Knowing that Darrin is a pastor and having heard him speak before, I expected an updated, perhaps more humorous challenge to men in the same vein as "Disciplines of a Godly Man". It is not, but that doesn't make it bad.

After reading a couple of chapters, it occurred to me that I didn't exactly fit into what I am guessing is the target audience for this book. Any guy can read this, but if you're looking for a meatier read with more connection to Scripture, this is not the book for you. If you are looking for a book that is a bit more practical in nature and is based on principles of Scripture without always making the direct connection, then you will enjoy this read. It's practical and direct and doesn't avoid uncomfortable topics.

This book is good for guys who are new believers or who are perhaps just reading their first book on the topic of biblical manhood.

[Dwain Minor · Rating 3 out of 5]

Darrin Patrick attempts to give men today a road map for navigating manhood. This is something that is much needed in our culture. Men just don't know what it means to be men and I think this is a good read for someone interested in knowing about biblical manhood.

The areas that Patrick covers are massively important. A man's determination, his response to criticism, his discipline, the way he feels about work, his contentment, the way he loves his wife and children, the way he loves his friends, his emotions, those things that are important enough to fight for, what it means to be a heroic man, and living in the forgiveness that only Christ can bring.

I have to say that I was affected by this book. It improved my thinking, in a practical way, on biblical manhood. It helped me to see that I really do have a long way to go.

[Jerry · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is an easy and good read, one to give a guy who doesn't read a lot but would like a kick in the pants to get going (or even if he wouldn't). I bought it initially for the chapter titles:

1. Get It Done: Become a Determined Man
2. Pay Attention and Learn Something: Become a Coachable Man
3. Train, Don't Just Try: Become a Disciplined Man
4. Love Your Work: Become a Working Man
5. Get Satisfaction: Become a Content Man
6. Love a Woman: Become a Devoted Man
7. Love Kids: Become a Family Man
8. Say, "I Love You, Man": The Connected Man
9. Feel Something without Crying at Everything: The Emotional Man

and so on.

[Jeff · Rating 4 out of 5]

Overall, I think this book is a great and simple read for men. Patrick pulls no punches throughout the book, and even reveals a lot about his pre-saved self.

A couple of notes, I think this is primarily geared toward non-believers. After reaching the end and seeing that he is the chaplain of the Cardinals, I can see how this book might have had them in mind when he was writing it. Secondly, he has some great quotes in it.."I realized that unyielding determination was indispensable for genuine change" and "Bored people don't know what they're living for, in part because then aren't enjoying what they have."

Overall, a solid addition to any man's library.

[nate · Rating 4 out of 5]

Read through this with a guy from our church. Very helpful book that lends itself to group discussion or one on one conversations. Lots of practical suggestions. The structure of the book was: 1) This is the kind of man you should be. 2) You can't do it on your own. 3) Jesus did and he offers forgiveness and makes it possible for us to change. As a pastor who knows that lots of people struggle to make it through a whole book, I would have preferred that the gospel identity be front-loaded and sprinkled throughout. However, it is very clearly presented at the end of the book. Overall, a book I'd heartily recommend, especially for groups.

[Isaac · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have mixed feelings about this book. On one hand, I agree with much of what Darrin Patrick says, and found myself highlighting a number of passages (including one of my favorite quotes whose source I had forgotten). On the other hand, there are a lot of imperatives in this book but not a lot of background and explanations. The author is very much (and by his own admission) more of a type A, sports loving workaholic type of guy, and writing from that perspective he is more effective in communicating with that sort of person than guys with very different tendencies (like myself). Overall I like the material, but wish the author could have gone more in depth with the topics.

[Shreef A · Rating 4 out of 5]

I enjoyed reading the book. It's a guide to men and women to how it's like to be a man. Community always expects a lot from a man, still rarely a man gets trained or guided to how to meet those expectations. Men are expected to figure it out all on their own. Women would find this a good read too as the book will help them understand men more, and understand the rule they can play as women in forming and supporting a man.

My only problem with the book was the religious touch, especially that it focus on Christianity. The last 2 chapters were all about this, so felt disconnected at the end, but all in all the book is good and worth reading.

[Eric Chappell · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great book on a great topic: manhood.

Be warned: this book pulls no punches. Darrin Patrick is a straight-shooter who engages guys in real talk. The book would be great for a number of different settings (1-on-1s, groups, leadership training). Patrick spends 10 chapters discussing the character of a real dude which finds its archetype in the Ultimate Hero, Jesus. The book offered some helpful, real life wisdom, solid biblical reflection on masculinity, and the gospel-motivation to fight to be a man in an age of men without chests.

[Warren Benton · Rating 4 out of 5]

Rating 3.75
Patrick being the chaplain for the St. Louis Cardinals has probably got to talk with a lot of men. In this book, he discusses biblical manhood. He talks about the importance of accountability and how to find and set that up. He talks about how to truly love your wife and kids.

Patrick's style is very forward. You don't have to guess what he is trying to point out and you don't have to worry there being too much religious rhetoric. He breaks everything down and makes it so easy a caveman could do it.

[Jordan Davis · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you're a man, then you will really enjoy this book because it provides practical steps to becoming a better Christian husband and father without simply repeating the word "Jesus" over and over. While He is obviously worth infinite praise and glory, simply repeating his name is not a useful tool to encouraging young men to be better men. Patrick lays out all of the qualities of true manhood and then wraps it up by bringing it back to Jesus. This is exactly the book I've been searching for for years.

[Ryan · Rating 3 out of 5]

This had some really good parts to it, then other parts that were just so-so. I loved the premise of the book, but thought some of it could have been developed more. I felt like the author hit his stride in chapter 11 where Jesus is seen as the ultimate hero, the fulfillment of everything a man is to be. This was a good introduction to a topic that needs to be written about and discussed much more.

[Dan Davidson · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was so practical and extremely helpful for me as a young man aspiring to be a man like Jesus. Darrin offers tons of relatable illustrations and examples of how we can be a biblical and masculine man in each chapter. This has become a subject for me that I would love to continue to read about for the rest of my life because I'll never stop having to be reminded of how to be a true biblical man.

[Lisa · Rating 3 out of 5]

I picked up this book for 2 reasons. 1) The author is my pastor 2) I was intrigued. Each chapter denotes what a "manly man" should be. A coachable man, a committed man, etc... While I liked the message, I kept wondering where Jesus was. He appears at the very end, a crescendo of sorts. I would recommend it for men who are curious about faith or looking for manly life advice.

[Vova Harlv · Rating 3 out of 5]

Overall interesting read I guess. Since he is a chaplain for the St. Louis Cardinals he has a lot of sport related examples, which I couldn't relate due to not being into sports. I wish he would of inserted the Gospel through out the book and not just the last chapter. This book could of been shorter instead of extra fluff you could tell he put in to make it longer.

[Josh Tolson · Rating 3 out of 5]

I thought this book covered a lot of good points for men to consider. However, I felt that most of the time the author would mention areas for men to improve or focus on without really guiding the reader on how to do it. I would have liked to have seen more information in this area, but other than that it was a good book that would be perfect for men in their 20s or about to enter college.

[Brock Thompson · Rating 3 out of 5]

A Swiss Army Knife for men of all types. Challenging and with several profound truths, this book will help define a Biblical man. Occasionally, the book asserts without proper support. Also, like a Swiss Army Knife, this book is very versatile but may not be the single best resource for a given target audience. A worthwhile read that will spur further thought.