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Encyclopedia Paranoiaca
A comprehensive, informative, and utterly debilitating compendium of surprising ways you might die a horrible death at any moment—all of them based on actual research about the perils of everyday life—from master humorists Henry Beard and Christopher Cerf.
Did you know bananas are radioactive, carrots cause blindness, and too many candlelight dinners can lead to cancer? Bottled water is a veritable petri dish of biohazards, and cherries contain arsenic. Nearly 10,000 people are sent to the emergency room because of escalator accidents and despite what you’ve heard, farmers’ markets may actually be less safe than grocery stores. In Encyclopedia Paranoiaca, Henry Beard and Christopher Cerf show us that the things that we consider healthy may actually be harmful and stuff we thought was harmless is anything but—drinking straws, flip flops, skinny jeans, even a day at the beach.
Encyclopedia Paranoiaca is a comprehensive field guide to things you absolutely, positively must not eat, drink, wear, take, grow, make, buy, use, or do, including an awful lot of toxic, lethal, horrible stuff that you thought was safe, good, or healthy; the shocking number of really bad people who are out to get you; and a whole host of hidden threats and looming dooms that make global warming and planetary plagues look like a walk in the park (with its high risk of skin cancer, broken bones, bee stings, allergic seizures, animal attacks, criminal assaults, and lightning strikes).
Did you know bananas are radioactive, carrots cause blindness, and too many candlelight dinners can lead to cancer? Bottled water is a veritable petri dish of biohazards, and cherries contain arsenic. Nearly 10,000 people are sent to the emergency room because of escalator accidents and despite what you’ve heard, farmers’ markets may actually be less safe than grocery stores. In Encyclopedia Paranoiaca, Henry Beard and Christopher Cerf show us that the things that we consider healthy may actually be harmful and stuff we thought was harmless is anything but—drinking straws, flip flops, skinny jeans, even a day at the beach.
Encyclopedia Paranoiaca is a comprehensive field guide to things you absolutely, positively must not eat, drink, wear, take, grow, make, buy, use, or do, including an awful lot of toxic, lethal, horrible stuff that you thought was safe, good, or healthy; the shocking number of really bad people who are out to get you; and a whole host of hidden threats and looming dooms that make global warming and planetary plagues look like a walk in the park (with its high risk of skin cancer, broken bones, bee stings, allergic seizures, animal attacks, criminal assaults, and lightning strikes).
- GenresHumorNonfictionReference
400 pages, Hardcover
First published November 1, 2012
7 people are currently reading
138 people want to read
About the author
Henry N. Beard
61 books38 followersHenry N. Beard (born ca. 1945) is an American humorist, one of the founders of the magazine National Lampoon and the author of several best-selling books.
Beard, a great-grandson of Vice President John C. Breckinridge, was born into a well-to-do family and grew up at the Westbury Hotel on East 69th Street in Manhattan. His relationship with his parents was cool, to judge by his quip "I never saw my mother up close."
He attended the Taft School, where he was a leader at the humor magazine, and he decided to become a humorous writer after reading Catch-22.
He then went to Harvard University from which he graduated in 1967 and joined its humor magazine, the Harvard Lampoon, which circulated nationally. Much of the credit for the Lampoon's success during the mid 1960s is given to Beard and Douglas Kenney, who was in the class a year after Beard's. In 1968, Beard and Kenney wrote the successful parody Bored of the Rings.
In 1969, Beard, Kenney and Rob Hoffman became the founding editors of the National Lampoon, which reached a monthly circulation of over 830,000 in 1974 (and the October issue of that year topped a million sales). One of Beard's short stories published there, "The Last Recall", was included in the 1973 Best Detective Stories of the Year. During the early 1970s, Beard was also in the Army Reserve, which he hated.
In 1975 the three founders cashed in on a buy-out agreement for National Lampoon; and Beard left the magazine. After an "unhappy" attempt at screenwriting, he turned to writing humorous books.
Beard, a great-grandson of Vice President John C. Breckinridge, was born into a well-to-do family and grew up at the Westbury Hotel on East 69th Street in Manhattan. His relationship with his parents was cool, to judge by his quip "I never saw my mother up close."
He attended the Taft School, where he was a leader at the humor magazine, and he decided to become a humorous writer after reading Catch-22.
He then went to Harvard University from which he graduated in 1967 and joined its humor magazine, the Harvard Lampoon, which circulated nationally. Much of the credit for the Lampoon's success during the mid 1960s is given to Beard and Douglas Kenney, who was in the class a year after Beard's. In 1968, Beard and Kenney wrote the successful parody Bored of the Rings.
In 1969, Beard, Kenney and Rob Hoffman became the founding editors of the National Lampoon, which reached a monthly circulation of over 830,000 in 1974 (and the October issue of that year topped a million sales). One of Beard's short stories published there, "The Last Recall", was included in the 1973 Best Detective Stories of the Year. During the early 1970s, Beard was also in the Army Reserve, which he hated.
In 1975 the three founders cashed in on a buy-out agreement for National Lampoon; and Beard left the magazine. After an "unhappy" attempt at screenwriting, he turned to writing humorous books.
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Displaying 1 - 17 of 17 reviews
August 10, 2016
*Check out http://www.infinitereads.com for other reviews and sundry thoughts!*
You can get the gist of Encyclopedia Paranoiaca from its extensive subtitle: "The Definitive Companion of Things You Absolutely, Positively Must Not Eat, Drink, Wear, Take, Grow, Make, Buy, Use, Do, Permit, Believe, or Let Yourself Be Exposed To... Lethal, Horrible Stuff That You Thought Was Safe, Good, or Healthy... People Who Are Out to Get, Cheat, Steal From, or Otherwise Take Advantage of You; and a Whole Host of Existential Threats and Looming Dooms." National Lampoon co-founder Henry Beard teams up with Christopher Cerf, one of the magazine's first contributing editors, to deliver an alphabetical listing of all the ways in which the world is out to get us.
The entries in this encyclopedia run the gamut from spectacular natural catastrophes to hidden terrors lurking in everyday objects. For example, many Americans and Canadians might be aware of the volcanoes in the Cascade Mountains that could destroy Portland, Seattle or Vancouver at any time. (Remember Mount St. Helens?) Did you know that washing handkerchiefs and undergarments together puts you at risk of contracting harmful bacteria? You could use chlorine bleach to be safe--just mind that the fumes don't give you a pulmonary embolism. Perhaps you should use a hydrogen peroxide/water solution instead. Oh, did we mention that hydrogen peroxide vapors can spontaneously detonate at high temperatures like those in, say, a washing machine on a hot water cycle?
From purses to skinny jeans, mall Santas to solar energy, Beard and Cerf present a litany of the risks we run from the second we get up in the morning to the moment we rest our heads on our pillows (which, incidentally, are filled with allergens and dust mites). Entries are accompanied by helpful symbols to indicate the type of hazard posed, be it poisonous, financially detrimental or, in the case of ceramic toilets, radioactive.
Although readers with hypochondriac tendencies may want to give Encyclopedia Paranoiaca a pass, others will take perverse pleasure in this compendium of tiny horrors. Following the threads from one entry to another, as previously suggested solutions turn out to be just as dangerous as the problems they solved, casts our societal obsession with antibacterial products in a morbidly comical light. While paranoid feelings may result initially, continued reading assures one that, yes, the world is out to get us, yet here we still are. Relax. Just don't ask about gray goo.
***This review originally appeared in Shelf Awareness. Sign up for this free and awesome newsletter at http://www.shelf-awareness.com for the latest news and reviews! This review refers to an ARC provided by Shelf Awareness.***
You can get the gist of Encyclopedia Paranoiaca from its extensive subtitle: "The Definitive Companion of Things You Absolutely, Positively Must Not Eat, Drink, Wear, Take, Grow, Make, Buy, Use, Do, Permit, Believe, or Let Yourself Be Exposed To... Lethal, Horrible Stuff That You Thought Was Safe, Good, or Healthy... People Who Are Out to Get, Cheat, Steal From, or Otherwise Take Advantage of You; and a Whole Host of Existential Threats and Looming Dooms." National Lampoon co-founder Henry Beard teams up with Christopher Cerf, one of the magazine's first contributing editors, to deliver an alphabetical listing of all the ways in which the world is out to get us.
The entries in this encyclopedia run the gamut from spectacular natural catastrophes to hidden terrors lurking in everyday objects. For example, many Americans and Canadians might be aware of the volcanoes in the Cascade Mountains that could destroy Portland, Seattle or Vancouver at any time. (Remember Mount St. Helens?) Did you know that washing handkerchiefs and undergarments together puts you at risk of contracting harmful bacteria? You could use chlorine bleach to be safe--just mind that the fumes don't give you a pulmonary embolism. Perhaps you should use a hydrogen peroxide/water solution instead. Oh, did we mention that hydrogen peroxide vapors can spontaneously detonate at high temperatures like those in, say, a washing machine on a hot water cycle?
From purses to skinny jeans, mall Santas to solar energy, Beard and Cerf present a litany of the risks we run from the second we get up in the morning to the moment we rest our heads on our pillows (which, incidentally, are filled with allergens and dust mites). Entries are accompanied by helpful symbols to indicate the type of hazard posed, be it poisonous, financially detrimental or, in the case of ceramic toilets, radioactive.
Although readers with hypochondriac tendencies may want to give Encyclopedia Paranoiaca a pass, others will take perverse pleasure in this compendium of tiny horrors. Following the threads from one entry to another, as previously suggested solutions turn out to be just as dangerous as the problems they solved, casts our societal obsession with antibacterial products in a morbidly comical light. While paranoid feelings may result initially, continued reading assures one that, yes, the world is out to get us, yet here we still are. Relax. Just don't ask about gray goo.
***This review originally appeared in Shelf Awareness. Sign up for this free and awesome newsletter at http://www.shelf-awareness.com for the latest news and reviews! This review refers to an ARC provided by Shelf Awareness.***
January 24, 2013
Encyclopedia Satirica: A Book Review of Encyclopedia Paranoiaca
Simon & Schuster, 2012, 400pp, $11.99
Henry N. Beard, Christopher Cerf, ISBN 1439199574
This satirical book is chock full of hyper-paranoid findings of common things in life that can supposedly kill you. Things like fried food, sushi, abdominal cramps and more. Though the claims are drastically preposterous, it is quite laughable at how unbelievable the findings are. The discoveries were made by certified scientists and doctors, however It also shows that possibly everything can kill us, nowadays, let it be things we believe have many health benefits will actually kill us.
I read this whilst in the library due to my curiosity. The book was OK, I didn't find it funny, however I don't laugh easily. Perhaps it was because, as mentioned earlier, how stupid the results the doctors had. Since the book was supposed to induce paranoia into the reader, to an extent it did, so one can say the book was successful.
I would not recommend this book to all people, as there are terms not everyone can understand. Also, it might not be considered funny to some people and possibly boring.
Simon & Schuster, 2012, 400pp, $11.99
Henry N. Beard, Christopher Cerf, ISBN 1439199574
This satirical book is chock full of hyper-paranoid findings of common things in life that can supposedly kill you. Things like fried food, sushi, abdominal cramps and more. Though the claims are drastically preposterous, it is quite laughable at how unbelievable the findings are. The discoveries were made by certified scientists and doctors, however It also shows that possibly everything can kill us, nowadays, let it be things we believe have many health benefits will actually kill us.
I read this whilst in the library due to my curiosity. The book was OK, I didn't find it funny, however I don't laugh easily. Perhaps it was because, as mentioned earlier, how stupid the results the doctors had. Since the book was supposed to induce paranoia into the reader, to an extent it did, so one can say the book was successful.
I would not recommend this book to all people, as there are terms not everyone can understand. Also, it might not be considered funny to some people and possibly boring.
May 19, 2013
Although this book was not written from a Christian worldview perspective, it shouted that we live in a Genesis 3 world. Though there are many blessings and enjoyments to be had in God's creation, and his common grace abounds, we still have a world that is tainted with sin. The curse has touched everything, so that danger, sickness and death abound. This book showed that the thing you shouldn't do is also the thing you should do. Eat organic and this bad thing will happen. Don't eat organic and another bad thing will happen. There's risk involved in everything like investing in gold vs. not investing in gold.
Beyond the spiritual implications, it was an interesting read and written with generous dose of tongue-in-cheek humor. Some things are actually pretty practical.
Ultimately, this book reminds me to live carefully, but my only hope can be in God who will one day turn the curse on its head in the new heavens and earth: "And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Behold, the dwelling place[a] of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be his people,[b] and God himself will be with them as their God.[c] 4 He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.” Rev 21:3-4.
Beyond the spiritual implications, it was an interesting read and written with generous dose of tongue-in-cheek humor. Some things are actually pretty practical.
Ultimately, this book reminds me to live carefully, but my only hope can be in God who will one day turn the curse on its head in the new heavens and earth: "And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Behold, the dwelling place[a] of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be his people,[b] and God himself will be with them as their God.[c] 4 He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.” Rev 21:3-4.
Want to read
January 3, 2013Encyclopedia Paranoiaca: A reader's guide to your fears http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-20...
August 3, 2016
This is in a "dictionary" format so you can find whatever's "out to get you"...or not! Cool for trivia :)
February 11, 2021
Fun book of information that can expand your trivia/ general knowledge. Honestly a good look into how research findings from different but seemingly similar questions can have contradictory answers. An easily approachable introduction to some fascinating science that can sate or inspire curiosity.
December 29, 2021
I guess it's what it says it is. An encyclopaedia. But I truly did not grasp what they were trying to do here. At least has bumped my challenge numbers before NYE
June 30, 2013
An alphabetical listing of stuff we need to be scared about. The intent of the book is obviously to be humorous and to get you scared about pretty much everything. There are often contradictory entries right next to each other. For example, there is an entry warning you about no drinking enough water right after one warning about drinking too much.
The problem about using this book as a practical guide is that it does not give you any indication of the amount of risk you are taking by doing some particular activity. There are many things in there that they warn you against that I have been doing for years, yet, somehow I am still alive and basically healthy. The back of the book does contain an extensive set of notes and references, which is a good thing. I suppose if I cared enough, I could look some of them up and see how badly I am screwing myself up.
The problem about using this book as a practical guide is that it does not give you any indication of the amount of risk you are taking by doing some particular activity. There are many things in there that they warn you against that I have been doing for years, yet, somehow I am still alive and basically healthy. The back of the book does contain an extensive set of notes and references, which is a good thing. I suppose if I cared enough, I could look some of them up and see how badly I am screwing myself up.
Read
April 27, 2013Name something. Anything. Dental floss? OK, dental floss. Supposedly a good thing, right? Well, Nervous Nellys and Expert Worriers take heart! According to this compendium of doom, dental flossing on a regular basis can subtract years from your life due to a carcinogenic coating used on most brands. Name something else and you can probably find it listed in this surprisingly cheery book. I say cheery because the authors, ably assisted by the staff of the Cassandra Institute, have undertaken to warn us about everything from abdominal cramping to zygomycosis without losing their ample senses of humor. If you hale from a long line of worriers like I do, and wish to have a truly comprehensive list of things to fret about, this is a perfect selection for you.
Barbara L., Reader's Services
Barbara L., Reader's Services
January 6, 2015
If you read this book as a kind of self parody of our CNN run culture of fear porn, you'll get some enjoyment from it. If you try to take it seriously as an actual information source, forget it. Unfortunately, this book is not nearly as funny as Everything Is Going to Kill Everybody: The Terrifyingly Real Ways the World Wants You Dead. But it isn't nearly as offensive and childish.
May 20, 2013
Does this kind of book appeal to you? Read others like it? Then I think you'll love this one. If you're reading it because you are actually worried about dangers in the world, you'll probably feel like some other reviewers whose reviews I have read -- What the heck? This book claims everything, even complete opposite actions, are dangerous.
Yes. Because that's true. If you find that amusing, though, this book is great.
AND IT HAS CITATIONS FOR EVERYTHING!!!
Wow. Again an if statement... if you understand how amazing that fact is, you'll love this book.
LOVE it.
Yes. Because that's true. If you find that amusing, though, this book is great.
AND IT HAS CITATIONS FOR EVERYTHING!!!
Wow. Again an if statement... if you understand how amazing that fact is, you'll love this book.
LOVE it.
January 15, 2013
The Wall Street Journal calls ENCYCLOPEDIA PARANOIACA "an amusing and cruelly accurate cultural critique, offering a 'comprehensive and authoritative inventory of the perils, menaces, threats, blights, banes, and other assorted pieces of Damoclean cutlery' that hover over our collective head." Sums it up well, in my opinion. As Henry Beard (who also wrote the delightful LATIN FOR ALL OCCASIONS) says in the intro: "Pullus parvus recte dixit." In other words, Chicken Little was right!
January 26, 2013
Lots of the things in this book cancels each other out so no matter what you choose you're still screwed! Example: it says beware of bottled water drink tap water instead it's healthier but when you look at the tap water entry it says it like drinking liquid feces! Just reading this book makes me not want to eat or drink anything but really it's close to impossible to avoid everything! So really after read it life goes on as normal.
March 18, 2015
I am usually a fairly anxious person but I found this book oddly comforting as it pointed out the absurdity of many fears often with back to back entries showing no matter what you did (do or don't) there are people who have dire warnings about it.
January 2, 2015
This kinda took me a while to read but only because of the layout. It's very condensed as it's a dictionary format of everything that could possibly be of danger to you. Ever.
It's fun for trivia and facts that you'll probably never need.
It's fun for trivia and facts that you'll probably never need.
December 27, 2012
Stupidest thing I have ever wasted my eyesight on. Not funny, not believeable. If the authors are comedy writers they need to start over.
September 20, 2013
Fun, quick read.
Displaying 1 - 17 of 17 reviews