Kristen Johnston is evil, and so are her Guts.
I first saw the book in Indigo. Or Chapters. Well, whichever bookstore it is where I go for Starbucks every day.
I walk quickly through the books to the escalator, and take the stairway (escalator) to heaven. But then one day, she caught my eye. Well, the book cover caught my eye. It said GUTS which first I thought was a zombie book (and in a way, I was right).
And then I saw Kristen French… Stewart… Johnston… a chick with big lips smoking a cigarette.
And every day I walked past her book it called out to me, tempting me on my way to coffee heaven. So really, she’s like the devil what with all that temptation. Anyway…
I bought the audio book because she reads it. And I’m too lazy to actually hold a book up and turn pages. But I really bought it because I love storytelling. And, wow, does she have a story to tell.
Now, I don’t know Kristen Johnson… Johnstone… Johnston from a hole in the ground. I think I’ve seen 2 episodes of 3rd Rock (which apparently is not the same as 30 Rock, but it sure makes me wonder why all these rocks are being numbered…)
So, I don’t know Kristen, I’m not one for stories on boozy actresses or redemption or tell-alls (okay, tell-a-little-because-she-can’t-remember-it-all). But within the first couple of minutes, I was totally hooked.
“I’m a pill popping lush. Your mind it totally blown, isn’t it? After all, an actress addicted to booze and pills is pretty much unheard of. And, an actress addicted to booze and pills who then writes a book about it, is even rarer… It was a dark day indeed when I was forced to admit that I am about as special as a manila envelope.”
Bwahahaha, oops, I mean, how sad. Nope, I really mean bwahahahahaha. She made me laugh, even out loud on the subway and that’s okay, because it scared people away and I got a seat.
So it doesn’t matter if you don’t know Kristen Alley… Dior… Johnston, and it doesn’t matter if this isn’t your kind of book. Ms. Johnston is a gifted little devil and she makes you like it anyway.
December 21 2013 Update: I read a great suggestion on a website: for the three most important people in your life, buy them your three favourite books. This is definitely one of the books. Just sayin'.