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The Exceptional Seven Percent
What Do Exceptional Couples Know That Others Don't?
If roughly fifty percent of marriages fail, what about the other fifty percent--the ones that "succeed"? Are those couples who stay together necessarily happy?
No, not necessarily. In fact, many marriages that remain intact are far less than ideal. A mere seven percent are really good--in fact, exceptional. These couples have much greater than average passion, happiness, longevity, and fulfillment.
But if less-than-exceptional marriages are made up of men who are supposedly from Mars and women who are supposedly from Venus, what planet do exceptional husbands and wives come from? What are the secrets of exceptional couples. . .and what can they teach us?
Marriage therapist Gregory K. Popcak believes that ways of relating employed by exceptional couples can benefit all marriages. In The Exceptional Seven Percent, he looks at the most successful couples and exposes their secrets. Each chapter examines in detail the basic characteristics of exceptional couples,
• Developing a marital imperative
• Setting and achieving emotional goals
• Cultivating exceptional levels of fidelity, loving, service, rapport, negotiation, gratitude, joy, and sexuality
Through anecdotes, analyses, exercises, and quizzes, you'll learn what your weaknesses are and how you can begin to make positive changes. You have the power to turn your marriage into the most precious thing in your life. Why settle for anything less?
Gregory K. Popcak, MSW, is a licensed psychotherapist who developed and now runs marriage preparation and enrichment seminars. He also writes regular marriage and family columns for popular and professional journals and runs a private practice. He lives outside Pittsburgh.
If roughly fifty percent of marriages fail, what about the other fifty percent--the ones that "succeed"? Are those couples who stay together necessarily happy?
No, not necessarily. In fact, many marriages that remain intact are far less than ideal. A mere seven percent are really good--in fact, exceptional. These couples have much greater than average passion, happiness, longevity, and fulfillment.
But if less-than-exceptional marriages are made up of men who are supposedly from Mars and women who are supposedly from Venus, what planet do exceptional husbands and wives come from? What are the secrets of exceptional couples. . .and what can they teach us?
Marriage therapist Gregory K. Popcak believes that ways of relating employed by exceptional couples can benefit all marriages. In The Exceptional Seven Percent, he looks at the most successful couples and exposes their secrets. Each chapter examines in detail the basic characteristics of exceptional couples,
• Developing a marital imperative
• Setting and achieving emotional goals
• Cultivating exceptional levels of fidelity, loving, service, rapport, negotiation, gratitude, joy, and sexuality
Through anecdotes, analyses, exercises, and quizzes, you'll learn what your weaknesses are and how you can begin to make positive changes. You have the power to turn your marriage into the most precious thing in your life. Why settle for anything less?
Gregory K. Popcak, MSW, is a licensed psychotherapist who developed and now runs marriage preparation and enrichment seminars. He also writes regular marriage and family columns for popular and professional journals and runs a private practice. He lives outside Pittsburgh.
224 pages, Paperback
First published September 1, 2000
47 people are currently reading
284 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 15 of 15 reviews
August 3, 2014
This book is the best marriage book I have ever read. Practical, thought provoking, and worth re reading every year. This is a book written for people who already have good, or even great marriages, but want to make them truly amazing- and are willing to put in work and dedication.
January 23, 2019
OK....I am going to cop to the excuse that I picked up this book as a quick read to get one of my challenge books out of the way. I planned to skim it and write a nice little review. As I started to read it (as I am going through a touch time) stuff really started to hit home and the book offered a lot of excellent/practical advice and a way to think that I'm sure most couples don't think in. While I downloaded this book through Libby, I ended up throwing this and another one of the author's books in my Amazon cart.
May 11, 2019
I didn’t know what I didn’t know
This was a Book Club read. I’m not married but growing up I didn’t experience an exceptional marriage from my parents. This has helped me to unlearn negative habits and replace with one more conducive to what I want
This was a Book Club read. I’m not married but growing up I didn’t experience an exceptional marriage from my parents. This has helped me to unlearn negative habits and replace with one more conducive to what I want
March 16, 2020
This is the best marriage book I have ever read! It is packed with tons of practical advice!
September 2, 2022
One of the better, more practical marriage books I've read. Especially constructive when read together with your spouse!
November 28, 2022
One of the better marriage books I've read
December 1, 2023
The best and most challenging book on marriage I've read up to this point. If you want a great marriage and are willing to put in the work and the humility, service, and love required, this is a great resource.
The author steps through key aspects of marriage in a systematic way that is easy to follow. I appreciated each of the real life examples and found the stories very relatable.
The author steps through key aspects of marriage in a systematic way that is easy to follow. I appreciated each of the real life examples and found the stories very relatable.
March 19, 2017
I often feel so blessed to be in such a happy relationship and sometimes wonder how common it is to feel this way. I have no idea who gave me this book, but I found it on my shelf and was intrigued to see how many of these "secrets" my husband and I are already doing naturally in our marriage. I find psychology very fascinating and am always interested in learning more! Reading this book was a great way to validate all of the things that my husband and I are doing "right" in our marriage and a great reminder about why all of the things we do for each other are important. I even picked up some new tips for strengthening our bond. I would recommend this book to both happy couples as well as to couples searching for more.
March 11, 2010
Popcak lays out the foundation for an exceptional marriage. I felt like a lot of what he said made total sense to me. He talks about marriage being a platform (my word, not his) for self-actualization and that there should be a shared marriage imperative (his word, I believe that's what he called it). He also talked about shared competency and not worrying about tallying each and every chore, but rather assuming that each partner is contributing as much as they can.
There were areas that I felt like we were doing well with as a couple and there were areas that I felt I (or we) could definitely grow. I think that there is a lot in the book that anyone in any kind of relationship could take away. The last chapter on sex was a little iffy for me, but other people might like it better. Maybe I'm just so far away from that, that it didn't resonate much for me.
I will warn you that the guy is Catholic and it informs his counseling practice. I didn't find his book heavy handed at all (and I'm pretty sensitive to that kind of stuff). If you are an atheist, it might not appeal to you all, but otherwise, I think his straight forward manner will make his message easily accessible.
There were areas that I felt like we were doing well with as a couple and there were areas that I felt I (or we) could definitely grow. I think that there is a lot in the book that anyone in any kind of relationship could take away. The last chapter on sex was a little iffy for me, but other people might like it better. Maybe I'm just so far away from that, that it didn't resonate much for me.
I will warn you that the guy is Catholic and it informs his counseling practice. I didn't find his book heavy handed at all (and I'm pretty sensitive to that kind of stuff). If you are an atheist, it might not appeal to you all, but otherwise, I think his straight forward manner will make his message easily accessible.
December 13, 2016
This book.was exceptional itself. It detailed every important aspect of a romantic relationship and has explicit instructions on how to better that aspect. Starting with a relational imperative was a genius idea that I have never thought/heard of before but that WILL be implemented. And, honestly, after learning about the idea of an imperative, I feel each aspect of a person's life: romantic relationship, work, finance, children etc should all have an imperative designed for it in order to dignify its purpose and prioritize the goals needed to achieve it. After your imperative is designed then it can support in which direction you will work on the factors that make a romantic relationship wonderful: fidelity, love, service. rapport, negotiations, gratitude and joy. I highly recommend this book and will be purchasing to go over again and again throughout life. :)
October 8, 2008
Interesting book -- about 50% of married couples are happy, but of those, only 7% are truly happy together. What are their secrets? How can we become more happy? This one is more research-based, rather than anecdotal, but very good. No religious point of view, but not atheistic. I do recommend this one, but it's not a light-weight.
April 6, 2009
It is wonderful!
June 11, 2012
I liked this, one of a few books I've read on how to make your marriage great and stop settling for just Okay.
June 16, 2012
It was okay, some great tips were in the book though.
did-not-finish
November 14, 2013Very interesting information, but had too many other things to read and on my plate. Took the book back to the library. Hope to finish it someday.
Displaying 1 - 15 of 15 reviews