Swallowed by a Snake: The Gift of the Masculine Side of Healing

by Thomas R. Golden

Swallowed by a Snake is a book for men and women about the masculine side of healing from loss. Discover new and powerful ways to heal. How the genders differ in their healing. Greater understanding between partners. Examples of successful transformation of loss. New ways to understand your grief. Ways the individual's loss can impact the entire family. Swallowed by a Snake is meant to be a map and a guide through the experience of loss. It will help you move through the pain of loss and into a place of healing and transformation.

Genres: Grief, Psychology, Social Work, Nonfiction

192 pages, Paperback

First published December 12, 1991

Reviews

[Nancy Reynolds · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book deals with issues regarding grief and bereavement. The author explores such as as how gender and culture can affect the grieving process.
I really enjoyed reading about the author's first hand experiences and about the history of the grieving process, especially in Victorian times. The book is written in simple language and easy to understand, without all the complex terms that many psychology-related books use. This made it easier for someone like me, with a minimal background in the study of psychology to understand. I also like that the print was larger and easier on my eyes.
I also like some of the ideas given in the book for ways to express grief. When my husband died, I had started a rock garden and a brick was placed therein as a make-shift memorial. This helped to channel some of my grief.
The only issue I have with the book is how 'healing through action' is considered to be 'masculine'. I know a lot of other women who took up gardening, needlecrafts, etc. after the loss of a spouse, so I would not consider this to be a 'masculine' action, rather an action many people use to express grief, regardless of gender. This is my only qualm with this guide, other than that, it is full of some very useful information that can benefit many people experiences issues related to loss.

[David Hailey · Rating 4 out of 5]

My dad recommended this book to me about 20 years ago following my mother's death. I've lost my wife and father, two and three years ago respectively, and my grief has been manageable but more persistent than I expected.

This book has definitely helped me become more confident that my grief experience(s) are normal, as I move forward. I also do not feel it is overly male specific - it is simply written from that perspective, which is the author's area of expertise.

I'm very glad I remembered this book and gave it a read.

[Carl Williams · Rating 3 out of 5]

I first read this book almost twenty years ago when I was volunteering in hospice. I re-read it as I wrestle with my own grief. Usually I am not inclined to separating genders--we are, after all, the same species and there is much to be learned walking together. Even given that, there was much in this book I found helpful. It's not all that well written, and there were spots where I disagreed--sometimes vehemently--with one thing of another. Yet there were a number of helpful paradigms that were presented.

I hope that you never have a cause to read this book. But if are struggling with grief--or know someone who is--there may be helpful tidbits between these covers.

[Ruby Reads · Rating 3 out of 5]

In some ways I thought this book was dated (published in 1996) because of the notions about gender and grief, and the (violent) example of grief as a snake that swallows you -- the answer presented is that you must, bit by bit, cut your way out of the snake. But -- as a book about grief, I also found so much to be useful in this and relevant to the process of living with grief. So .. I'm torn. Glad I read this but still struggling whether or not the snake metaphor works. There are other personifications of grief as a dragon or beast that I found helpful as well.

[Phillias · Rating 5 out of 5]

Refreshing to explore the masculine side of grieving and finding a ritual and a physical release in grieving that may seem normal to them but not the cultural norm. This book helps with normalizing the masculine side of grief and healing.

[William R Schreiber]

Get this for the grieving man in your life!

This is the best book I've read, so far, that is helping me navigate the death of my wife.

Useful easy read that I was able to get through in 2 days. If you're a guy in grief, don't think, buy this book!

[Joshua · Rating 4 out of 5]

I good book. I would recommend looking at the authors other book. The Way Men Heal

[alyssa · Rating 2 out of 5]

There were a lot of interesting things in here, but…. You can’t just tag on at the end “oh yeah we can’t generalize men and women” when you did generalize throughout the entire book……..

[Matt · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a really important book in that it focuses on gender differences in grief and mourning. It validates the different way that men may grieve and gives examples of rituals to help bring out that grief. The different rituals can apply to both genders, of course, which is why the book's title contains the phrase "masculine side".
Anyway, liked it a lot. The author sees a need for our culture to find new grief rituals.

[p roper · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow! Initially, I was drawn to this book by the title. Snakes are interesting. They can be beneficial or harmful. They can be beautiful or scary. The thought of being swallowed by one isn’t pleasant but neither is grief. I also thought it might be beneficial to have some understanding to the masculine side of grief. I feel that not only did I gain this understanding, but also a deeper understanding of my own. This book has given me much cause for reflection.

[Marie Silk · Rating 5 out of 5]

A very important look at grief and how men generally handle it differently. The book explains of another culture and their look at grief, challenging the mainstream grief psychology model as we know it. I know of other people that this book has helped and it has helped me as well. I am grateful to the author for writing this book.

[Caitlin · Rating 4 out of 5]

Practical sound advice for anyone who is grieving. I would recommend this to all adults -- eventually all of us are faced with the death of a loved one. Thomas Golden weaves indigenous stories about grief in with his own experience to create a solid, useful, masterful book.

[Julie Bell · Rating 4 out of 5]

The term gift in the title is a little cheesy for what is a good book about grief. It's interesting to think about how outsourcing burial has affected men who typically grieve through action.

[Heidi · Rating 4 out of 5]

It's about men and grief. It's one of the better and more easily accessible books on grieving and rituals with men specifically in mind.

[Chris Yavelow · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of the best among the few books about grief specifically for men.

[Dr. · Rating 4 out of 5]

Loved the details and background great use of other cultures to address the male issues.