I, Cthulhu, or, What’s a Tentacle-Faced Thing Like Me Doing in a Sunken City Like This (Latitude 47° 9′ S, Longitude 126° 43′ W)?

by Neil Gaiman, Brian Elig (Illustrator)

Neil Gaiman's contribution to Lovecraft's Cthulhu Mythos.

Available from tor.com or neilgaiman.com

Genres: Short Stories, Fantasy, Horror, Humor, Fiction, Lovecraftian, Science Fiction

12 pages, ebook

First published January 1, 1986

Reviews

[Tadiana ✩Night Owl☽ · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5 stars! This humorous short story by Neil Gaiman is, like A Study in Emerald, a take-off on the Cthulhu mythos. Free online here at Tor.com, here we have the monstrous Cthulhu dictating his memoirs to a hapless human servant named Whateley. The beginning of his personal history:

I was spawned uncounted aeons ago, in the dark mists of Khhaa’yngnaiih (no, of course I don’t know how to spell it. Write it as it sounds), of nameless nightmare parents, under a gibbous moon. It wasn’t the moon of this planet, of course, it was a real moon. On some nights it filled over half the sky and as it rose you could watch the crimson blood drip and trickle down its bloated face, staining it red, until at its height it bathed the swamps and towers in a gory dead red light.

Those were the days.

I laughed right out loud, and never looked back.

I'm not a serious fan of Lovecraft and am only passingly familiar with that mythology, so a lot of Gaiman's sly references went swooshing over my head. The Lovecraft wiki was extremely helpful with a few key terms like shoggoth, though.

A must read for Lovecraft fans, and recommended for anyone who likes fantasy horror and humor.

[Carol She's So Novel꧁꧂ · Rating 5 out of 5]

I'm a member at Tumblr (the only other social media site I'm active on) & Neil Gaiman used to appear occasionally in my feed. (I must look if he is still around) Tumblr is eccentric & so is he.

It doesn't look like knowing anything about Cthulhu or having read Gaiman before is a prerequisite for enjoying this very short story, as I liked it very much! The writing flowed easily & I really felt like I was there while Cthulhu dictated their memoirs to their secretary Whateley.

Tons of fun, & if you don't like it, it will only take ten minutes of your time.

https://wordpress.com/view/carolshess...

[karen · Rating 4 out of 5]

WELCOME TO DECEMBER PROJECT!

this explanation/intro will be posted before each day’s short story. scroll down to get to the story-review.

this is the FIFTH year of me doing a short story advent calendar as my december project. for those of you new to me or this endeavor, here’s the skinny: every day in december, i will be reading a short story that is 1) available free somewhere on internet, and 2) listed on goodreads as its own discrete entity. there will be links provided for those of you who like to read (or listen to) short stories for free, and also for those of you who have wildly overestimated how many books you can read in a year and are freaking out about not meeting your 2020 reading-challenge goals. i have been gathering links all year when tasty little tales have popped into my feed, but i will also accept additional suggestions, as long as they meet my aforementioned 1), 2) standards, because i have not compiled as many as usual this year.

IN ADDITION, this may be the last year i do this project since GR has already deleted the pages for several of the stories i've read in previous years without warning, leaving me with a bunch of missing reviews and broken links, which makes me feel shitty. because i don't have a lot of time to waste, i'm not going to bother writing much in the way of reviews for these, in case gr decides to scrap 'em again. 2020 has left me utterly wrung out and i apologize for what's left of me. i am doing my best.

DECEMBER 24: I, CTHULHU, OR, WHAT'S A TENTACLE-FACED THING LIKE ME DOING IN A SUNKEN CITY LIKE THIS (LATITUDE 47° 9' S, LONGITUDE 126° 43' W)? - NEIL GAIMAN

You know what killed off the dinosaurs, Whateley? We did. In one barbecue.

merry christmas, i'm already exhausted from typing out that title.

ANYWAY, when i saw this:

Please enjoy what has become a quiet holiday tradition in the Tor.com offices: the reading of Neil Gaiman’s original story: “I, Cthulhu, or, What’s A Tentacle-Faced Thing Like Me Doing In A Sunken City Like This (Latitude 47° 9’ S, Longitude 126° 43’ W)?”

Merry Christmas!

as the intro to this story on the tor.com site, i thought that meant that this story had xmas content, and decided xmas eve would be the perfect time to read it, even though, say it with me, class: karen doesn't like lovecraft.

turns out it has zero holiday content, but i enjoyed it anyway, because it acknowledges the things about lovecraft's stories that are ridiculous and has a little fun at his expense, as cthulhu narrates its memoirs, using all the buzzwords that make me cringe, and making me wonder—is there a lovecraft version of scrabble?

this in particular made me laugh:

To tell the truth I wasn’t all that fond of my cousins, and due to some particularly eldritch distortion of the planes I’ve always had a great deal of trouble seeing them clearly. They tend to get fuzzy around the edges, and some of them—Sabaoth is a case in point—have a great many edges.

anyway, i have some holiday drinks in me, so that's all you get, but ho ho ho and be merry!

read it for free here

DECEMBER 1: PG - COURTNEY SUMMERS
DECEMBER 2: THE JUMPING MONKEY HILL - CHIMAMANDA NGOZI ADICHIE
DECEMBER 3: ORIGIN STORY - T. KINGFISHER
DECEMBER 4: THE GREAT SILENCE - TED CHIANG
DECEMBER 5: A CLEAN SWEEP WITH ALL THE TRIMMINGS
DECEMBER 6: BORED WORLD - ANDY WEIR
DECEMBER 7: VAMPIRE - ROBERT COOVER
DECEMBER 8: A STATEMENT IN THE CASE - THEODORA GOSS
DECEMBER 9: STET - SARAH GAILEY
DECEMBER 10: MARGOT'S ROOM: EMILY CARROLL
DECEMBER 11: HORROR STORY - CARMEN MARIA MACHADO
DECEMBER 12: TERRAIN - GENEVIEVE VALENTINE
DECEMBER 13: IF AT FIRST YOU DON'T SUCCEED, TRY, TRY AGAIN - ZEN CHO
DECEMBER 14: GHOUL - GEORGE SAUNDERS
DECEMBER 15: DURING THE DANCE - MARK LAWRENCE
DECEMBER 16: CLEARING THE BONES - CELESTE NG
DECEMBER 17: THE WAITER'S WIFE - ZADIE SMITH
DECEMBER 18: DEMOLITION - FIONA MCFARLANE
DECEMBER 19: NO PERIOD - HARRY TURTLEDOVE
DECEMBER 20: DON'T LEAVE ME ALONE - GG
DECEMBER 21: RUB-A-DUB-DUB - TONY MILLIONAIRE
DECEMBER 22: HANSA AND GRETYL AND PIECE OF SHIT - REBECCA CURTIS
DECEMBER 23: BRIDESICLE - WILL MCINTOSH
DECEMBER 25: CHRISTMAS TALE - MARK LAWRENCE
DECEMBER 26: THE MONSTERS OF HEAVEN - NATHAN BALLINGRUD
DECEMBER 27: TWO DREAMS ON TRAINS - ELIZABETH BEAR
DECEMBER 28: THE MARTIANS CLAIM CANADA - MARGARET ATWOOD
DECEMBER 29: UNDER THE WAVE - LAUREN GROFF
DECEMBER 30: MR. SALARY - SALLY ROONEY
DECEMBER 31: A/S/L - EMMA CLINE

come to my blog!

[Jokoloyo · Rating 4 out of 5]

From the title we could safely guess this is not a horror/dark fantasy.

What else can I say about this hilarious parody? Read it yourself here.
So far this is the best illustration that I have found in TOR.com. A very appropriate illustration by Brian Elig that capture the atmosphere of the story.

[Fiona Knight · Rating 4 out of 5]

(I’ll tell you all about sluggling later, Whateley. Pointless, though. You lack wnaisngh’ang. Although perhaps badminton equipment would do almost as well).

Neil Gaiman knows his Cthulhu much better than I do, though you can make it through this story with just a cultural awareness of Lovecraft's work. This was an entertaining entry in the Unauthorised Mythos, but the ending came abruptly and perhaps too soon.

2022 edit: I liked this better on the reread - I still think Gaiman does his best work in adaptations.

[Auntie Terror · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very short and quite entertaining - though you might need some previous knowledge of Lovecraftian/Cthulhuoid trivia.

[Hirondelle (not getting notifications) · Rating 3 out of 5]

From the Tor site, where apparently it is a christmas tradition of theirs. Not sure if I had read it before or not (I did, if it is in Smoke and Mirrors). But first or second read, fantastic though the voice is and the definition of a pompous voice of an Eldritch Horror, I just have not read enough Lovecraft (or much Lovecraft) to really get it. It feels very dependent on knowing that.

Not the start of the short story a day thing I do mean to do, though. I am not feeling it quite yet!

[Daren · Rating 3 out of 5]

In Gaimans (very) short story, Cthulhu dictates her memoirs to his human servant Whatley, who is taking them down.

I never knew my parents.

My father was consumed by my mother as soon as he had fertilized her and she, in her turn, was eaten by myself at my birth. That is my first memory, as it happens. Squirming my way out of my mother, the gamy taste of her still in my tentacles.

Don’t look so shocked, Whateley. I find you humans just as revolting.

Just a gentle mocking of Lovecraft and his creature at home in R'lyeh (in the South Pacific Ocean).

3 stars
Available free on tor.com: HERE

[ᴥ Irena ᴥ · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5
I was fully prepared to hate this story. How can a Cthulhu story be funny?! I was so wrong. This humorous nostalgic narrative is fantastic.


Cthulhu tells a story of his life to Whateley. Let me show you how funny this story is:

' Don’t look so shocked, Whateley. I find you humans just as revolting.

Which reminds me, did they remember to feed the shoggoth? I thought I heard it gibbering.'

Or:

' Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fthagn.

You know what that means, don’t you?

In his house at R’lyeh dead Cthulhu waits dreaming.

A justified exaggeration, that; I haven’t been feeling too well recently.

These are not even close to what you'll find in the whole story, but I don't want to spoil the fun. Neil Gaiman didn't even forget to use eldritch. More than once. There are three chapters and each ends humorously.

[Trish · Rating 3 out of 5]

Confession: I never read Lovecraft.
Another confession: I don't think that will change.

Whenever I hear about the author himself or his writing, I'm not all that impressed. Some swear by him, some hate the stories, others think they are okay if nothing more. What is remarkable, however, is the influence Lovecraft has had and still has on authors and other artists.

Neil Gaiman seems to know his Cthulhu and wrote this short story about him. It's basically Cthulhu dictating some form of memoirs to a Whatley (a human, I presume).
We learn about where he comes from, how he ended up on this plane and that the shoggoth is hungry.

It's a nice little story that made me chuckle here and there but, sadly, as with most other of Gaiman's short stories I've read, they are fun while they last but aren't all that memorable. Still, quite a nice way to spend the evening - as long as I don't have to feed the shoggoth.

[Melora · Rating 3 out of 5]

Cute. This story, free online, is short and silly. Loaded with references to Lovecraft gods & monsters. And I mean no criticism when I say that my favorite part is the illustration (included in several reviews by other readers here), showing Cthulhu and Whateley comfortably seated together in a cozy library.

[Trike · Rating 4 out of 5]

Actual horror-comedy. Hard to do. Quivered me cinders, it did.

[Nandakishore Mridula · Rating 4 out of 5]

A truly amusing take on the Cthulhu Mythos. Very Gaiman-esque.

[Shawn Deal · Rating 4 out of 5]

A very funny, hugely enjoyable read brought to you, only as Neil Gaiman can.

[Thibault Busschots · Rating 3 out of 5]

If you’re familiar with Lovecraft’s work, this might be for you. It’s a cute little parody featuring one of Lovecraft’s best-known characters and has some delightful references to his stories. I’m not a big Gaiman fan as the only book I’ve read of him is Good Omens, which he co-wrote with one of my favorite authors, Terry Pratchett. Though I will admit, the writing is quite good here and I did chuckle a couple of times. Pretty fun short story.

[KumeKei · Rating 4 out of 5]

Funny take on Lovecraft's Chtulhu mythos with tons of references to his work.
I got curious on where Chtulhu's house was located so I tracked it down.

http://goo.gl/maps/6eOyz

[Anton · Rating 5 out of 5]

Witty and hilarious - loved it! A little pick me up after a gruelling day at work

[Janelle · Rating 2 out of 5]

The least interesting for me of the short stories currently available on neil gaiman’s website as I’m not really well read when it comes to Lovecraft. This is Cthulhu reciting his memoirs, kinda humorous but I’ll probably forget it.

[Sassy Sarah Reads · Rating 5 out of 5]

I, Cthulhu, or, What’s A Tentacle-Faced Thing Like Me Doing In A Sunken City Like This (Latitude 47° 9′ S, Longitude 126° 43′ W)? by Neil Gaiman

5 stars

"We had fun in those days, carnage and destruction, sacrifice and damnation, ichor and slime and ooze, and foul and nameless games. Food and fun. It was one long party, and everybody loved it except those who found themselves impaled on wooden stakes between a chunk of cheese and pineapple."

I can't say that I'm a fan of Lovecraft. I like him and I've read more than ten of his short stories, but my tastes range from strong dislike to really enjoy. The only story by him that I've absolutely loved and gave a full 5 star rating to was The Colour Out of Space (which is alluded to in this story). However, I do really like Lovecrafts mythos and concepts, even if when I explain them out loud I can't keep a straight because they sound ludicrous. This is good fun. It's portrays exactly how I feel about Lovecraft. I appreciate his intellect and his world-building, but you can't help but poking fun of it. Gaiman does an excellent job of sticking to the mythos that Lovecraft has created, but also making Cthulhu a slightly humanized soul who is relaying her story to Whateley. I loved it and I laughed out loud several times. I don't recommend this to people not well-versed in the Cthulhu mythos, but if you've read a story or two by Lovecraft then you should be able to understand what is going. This is a Tor Short I definitely recommend!

Whimsical Writing Scale: 5

Character Scale: 5

Plotastic Scale: 5

Cover Thoughts: LMAO at the painting above Cthulhu's fireplace.

Read for free here: http://www.tor.com/2009/12/28/i-cthul...

[Nick Kives · Rating 3 out of 5]

Normally, I wouldn't have marked this, but I noticed it here on Goodreads and the title is entertaining enough.


For one of the earliest published works of Gaiman, almost 30 years ago, it is kind of weak. You can see that his prose have got so much better over time, even if this was just written for fun. An entertaining enough piece though.

[J. Boo · Rating 2 out of 5]

Explorer has a sit down interview with Cthulhu where Cthulhu talks about his childhood.

The situation is humorous, but nothing particularly funny happens. So... eh.

I suppose it's been a long time since I read Lovecraft, and don't particularly enjoy Gaiman to start with, so if you are particularly fond of either, this short story is free.

[Melki · Rating 4 out of 5]

"You know what killed off the dinosaurs, Whateley? We did. In one barbecue."

Ah, good times and fond memories as Cthulhu dictates his memoirs. At least he seems to enjoy his work . . .

"Then I discovered the fun one can get in conquering these odd worlds, subjugating the inhabitants, getting them to fear and worship you. It’s a real laugh."

[Paul Perry · Rating 4 out of 5]

A very nice story from Mr G, in which he manages to inject humour into a Cthulhu tale without making it too twee. Very light hearted, but with just a soupcon of overwhelming existential dread, helped on both counts by the many Mythos references, both overt and more subtle.

[Corrie · Rating 4 out of 5]

I, Cthulhu, or, What’s A Tentacle-Faced Thing Like Me Doing In A Sunken City Like This (Latitude 47° 9′ S, Longitude 126° 43′ W)? by author Neil Gaiman is a short story you can read for free on the Tor.com site https://www.tor.com/2009/12/28/i-cthu...

I was spawned uncounted aeons ago, in the dark mists of Khhaa’yngnaiih (no, of course I don’t know how to spell it. Write it as it sounds), of nameless nightmare parents, under a gibbous moon. It wasn’t the moon of this planet, of course, it was a real moon. On some nights it filled over half the sky and as it rose you could watch the crimson blood drip and trickle down its bloated face, staining it red, until at its height it bathed the swamps and towers in a gory dead red light.
Those were the days.

How’s that for a title? Here we have the origin story of Cthulhu, dictated by himself. Gaiman is being the creative genius he is.

We had fun in those days, carnage and destruction, sacrifice and damnation, ichor and slime and ooze, and foul and nameless games. Food and fun. It was one long party, and everybody loved it except those who found themselves impaled on wooden stakes between a chunk of cheese and pineapple.

4 Stars

[Karen ⚜Mess⚜ · Rating 5 out of 5]

Brain eating 🧠 tentacle waving 🐙 squishy squish 🧡

What a charming distraction this story was.

I tried reading a Neil Gaiman book a few years ago and couldn't get into it. I'm glad I was able to enjoy his writing in this short story.

Favorite quote

My father was consumed by my mother as soon as he had fertilized her and she, in her turn, was eaten by myself at my birth. That is my first memory, as it happens. Squirming my way out of my mother, the gamy taste of her still in my tentacles.

Favorite insult

Banal little bureaucruds

Conclusion

Don't forget to feed the shoggoth

[Claudia · Rating 4 out of 5]

If in Lovecraft’s classic tale, The Call of Cthulhu, we learn of its existence from others PoV, here you will be enchanted by Cthulhu itself, through Gaiman’s playful words.

Really funny one, with an awesome illustration by Brian Elig.



And here is where you can find it: http://www.tor.com/2009/12/28/i-cthul...

[Kandice · Rating 3 out of 5]

I am always surprised at how many of my favorite authors cite Lovecraft as an influence. I just don't care for Lovecraft, but this little story is very funny in a British and irreverent way. Yes, it's about Cthulhu, but not seriously. It's really more about bragging and being a boor.

Someone feed that blasted shoggoth.

[Athena · Rating 4 out of 5]

Neil Gaiman, being wacky with Lovecraftiana. Great fun, free read on Tor.com at:
Cthulu

[Veronika Sebechlebská · Rating 4 out of 5]

Toto R'zkosne Ňh'uňhuňhu z Hlb'n t'mnoty made my day

[Alex Bright · Rating 3 out of 5]

Cute, entertaining, funny little diversion for any Eldritch Horror fan out there... but not a whole lot to it, which is unusual for Gaiman. I expected a twist of the knife, if just a tiny one.